I Just Like The Batfamily Tbh @imjustobsessedwithdc - Tumblr Blog

The first time Jason said "no thanks" to a snack Bruce almost cried because it meant Jason understood he'll never run out of food as long as he's under batdad's roof

actually-alice-orchid

Bruce: for the last time jason you dont get to decide who desrves to die

Jason wielder of the "that guy deserves to die" all blades, that are basically bound to his soul: whatever you say bud

batfamgalore

*Jason reluctantly comes to Dick for help*

Dick: Let me start out by saying thank you for being so vulnerable with me.

Jason: I hate you.

Said the riddler who asks a riddle instead of stating something multiple times before this sentence was spoken

#batman #the riddler #The Riddler: Secrets in the dark

kentodreaming

edward being a lil fag ++ alfred giving him a shovel talk. i love this podcast

panakina

Post-Crisis Jason was a stroke of genius from DC.

The first time bruce wayne is robbed in crime alley he walks away a broken child. He swears Vengeance on Crime and dedicates himself to the pursuit of Justice.

The second time bruce wayne is robbed in crime alley he sees injustice didn't start at the crime. He is a man now, aware of the world and its complexities, and his own ability to change it. He takes a weapon out of the hands of a broken child and leads him out, to find his own justice.

panakina

Its why the rewrites to villainise kid Jason just kill me. To make him actually cruel and mean and in need of redemption instead of kindness and protection. It turns poverty into a moral failing and righteousness an innate trait. The bad eggs deserved what they got. The billionaire did his best, but crime belongs in crime alley, there's no good trying to bring it out into the light and dressing it up as anything else.

panakina

Post-Crisis Jason was a stroke of genius from DC.

The first time bruce wayne is robbed in crime alley he walks away a broken child. He swears Vengeance on Crime and dedicates himself to the pursuit of Justice.

The second time bruce wayne is robbed in crime alley he sees injustice didn't start at the crime. He is a man now, aware of the world and its complexities, and his own ability to change it. He takes a weapon out of the hands of a broken child and leads him out, to find his own justice.

panakina

Its why the rewrites to villainise kid Jason just kill me. To make him actually cruel and mean and in need of redemption instead of kindness and protection. It turns poverty into a moral failing and righteousness an innate trait. The bad eggs deserved what they got. The billionaire did his best, but crime belongs in crime alley, there's no good trying to bring it out into the light and dressing it up as anything else.

papayafromtv

it’s so funny to me that in a lot of fics after Tim’s parents die and he’s adopted and moved into Wayne manor, he still just… owns the mansion next door. like Drake manor is just right there, fully furnished and empty, fully inherited by Tim. and he just kinda leaves it there. probably forgets he owns it. how much do you wanna bet the others absolutely do NOT forget that next door is also owned by the family?

how much do you wanna bet that at least twice a month Bruce freaks the fuck out because Damian’s been missing for two days and eventually they track him down to find that he’d just walked over to Drake manor to avoid being told to help Alfred dust and then… couldn’t be bothered to walk back. figured that technically Drake manor could also be ‘home’ and made himself comfortable. is napping in Tim’s childhood bedroom when they find him and is completely unapologetic about eating the food in his kitchen.

how much do you wanna bet that Tim gets a call from the weekly cleaner that he totally forgot was being paid from his bank account to maintain Drake manor, only to be told by a slightly terrified cleaner that she tried to go in to mop the kitchen and found a fucking crime lord in nothing but sweatpants and his helmet, ranting to an ‘oracle’ about some kind of ‘drug drop off’ that he ‘needed off Batman’s radar’, because Jason was too tired to motorcycle all the way back to Crime Alley after a debrief but didn’t want to have to be around Bruce so he just kinda broke into Tim’s old house and has been casually chilling there for the past week while he worked on a case.

how much do you wanna bet that one time Bruce grounded Tim for two weeks and Tim was so annoyed about it that to be petty he snuck out and went back to Drake manor. Bruce was so fucking mad because Tim directly ignored his orders and he couldn’t even do anything about it because every time he brought it up he got loud claims of ‘yOU TOLD ME TO GO TO MY ROOM SO I WENT TO MY FUCKING ROOM, B, I DON’T WANNA HEAR SHIT FROM YOU-!’

how much do you wanna bet when eventually Tim can’t be bothered to deal with the insurance forms and he sells Drake manor, he mentions having to hand over his keys and instantly every single batkid starts digging around in their pockets and producing two or three keys to Drake manor because over the years they’ve all just kinda. been using it. whenever. Tim had no fucking clue they’d made keys. he’s so confused. it gets so much funnier when the next day Tim shows up to the estate agents to drop off his plastic tub of keys for the new owner and he fucking finds Jason Todd there ready to receive them.

“I make a lot of money in my line of work,” he says. “figured it was time for a summer house.”

“you hate being close to Bruce.”

“not as much as Bruce hates shoddy neighbours. i’m going to make his life hell.”

“you made me carry this box of keys for nothing.”

“yeah you can hand those back out actually, i really don’t care who goes in there.”

“I hate you.”

“Don’t be rude to your new neighbour.”

jasontoddsguns

Working in food service as the manager is slowly making me become sexist. Like some of these women will say the most heinous shit imaginable.😭 Ma’am that girl is 16.

jasontoddsguns

Me: The concepts of “Karens” is inherently rooted in sexism and the inability to take female complaints seriously.

Also me, when a middle age woman asks for me: ah fuck.

junkdrawerfan

People are way too harsh about Bruce being a “hypocrite.” Being a parent is hypocritical. You do things and realize they’re bad and tell your kids not to do them. And even if you, as an adult, recognize your behavior is bad and harmful and toxic and you continue to do it, that doesn’t mean you should allow or want your kids to do that behavior.

If your parent smokes and tells you not to smoke, they’re not a hypocrite. If your parent drinks too much coffee but warns you against caffeine addiction, it’s because they’re living with the aftermath of bad decisions. If your parent chooses a dangerous job where they could die violently and painfully but wants you to chose a different career path, it’s because they love you.

So if Bruce is advising caution and self care and limits that he won’t give himself, that doesn’t make him a hypocrite. It makes him a parent.

If his kids call him a hypocrite and complain that Bruce will work 16 hour days but won’t let them, that makes them dumbass kids who will have the realization the day they have kids.

It’s called family, my guy.

thebat-musicman

Gotham Gazette: Reporter Clark Kent spotted wearing t-shirt stating “I fucked him before he was a himbo”

Gotham Gazette a few days later: BREAKING NEWS: Red Hood has issued several death threats against Clark Kent

prlssprfctn

Very crack concept, where Jason and Tim both love hanging out each other, but they don't want to admit that or even let other know that they somehow are vulnerable yearn to spend time together again, so instead they mask it under stupid dares and bets

Tim, scrolling his phone: There is a new ice cream shop opening up soon, they have your favourite

Tim, who really wants to go there with Jason: I bet, you won't take me here.

Jason, no less exicted: Oh, you motherfucker, just wait—

Dick: Hey, Lil Wing, do you wanna visit amusement park with me???

Jason: Yeah, sure. We should take Tim, too.

Dick, pleasantly surprised: Yeah!

Jason, screaming across the house: LITTLE BIRD. I DARE YOU TO AGREE TO GO TO THE PARK WITH ME AND DICKHEAD!

Tim, in the instant, sliding down the stairs: YOU, ASSHOLE

Dick: ...Huh.

Tim and Jason, clearing up their throats: I bet—

Damian, irritated: Can't you just suggest each other to be patrol buddies as normal people?

Tim:

Jason:

Tim: Do you want to bully—

Jason: Yeah. On it.

theblackparadeisdead

Absolutely nothing worse than finding out that you share interests with someone you hate. Has you thinking things like fuck you I'm better at enjoying star wars than you are

okoyestrainee

Duke and Jason Being Hood Kids, Part 12

“He can’t beat my ass.”

Duke’s stretching his arms above his head and cracking his knuckles. Tim hits pause on losing his shit and briefly wonders if that’s a bad thing.

“Umm,” he says eloquently. “That’s it? You’re just…why does it matter if he can’t—what’s happening?”

Duke continues stretching as he responds. “He came at you crazy?”

“Yeah?”

“He called you a slur?”

“Explicitly? No, but it was definitely implied.”

Duke blinks and stares at Tim in a way that clearly screams “get it together, white boy.” Either that or “I said what I said.” The looks are too similar.

“Okay then. We ride at dawn. Or, y’know, a time appropriate for whooping somebody’s ass. Like now.”

Jason pokes his head into the library, reading glasses (“Shut your asses up, I look good.”) perched on his nose.

“We beating somebody’s ass?

Tim tries asking when the hell Jason got here, but Duke cuts in. “Yup. Tim went on a date with Super Clone and his daddy didn’t like it. He said some -ism and -phobia words.”

The oldest of the three blinks, looks off into space for a moment, then removes his glasses and taps them against his chin. “I’m in. One question, though—daddy I need kryptonite bullets for or nah?”

Tim’s losing control of this situation faster than Flash can run. “Why do you have kryptonite bullets?!”

Duke ignores him and addresses Jason. “Bald ass, evil ass, about-to-be-real-unfortunate-in-the-face ass daddy.”

The two stare at each other for a moment, completely tuning out Tim’s protests. Jason nods and pockets his reading glasses.

“He can’t beat my ass,” he declares. “Make sure you pack tranquilizer darts for Mercy. Last time she got lucky and broke my ribs.”

Tim wonders if he just put a hit out on Lex Luthor. And Mercy. Well, no, it sounds like they’re just knocking her out to get to Lex. But maybe—Jesus Christ, he’s missing the point again.

“Guys!” Duke and Jason finally stop plotting and look at him. “We don’t need to kick his ass. I already tanked LexCorp’s stock, siphoned money from his personal account, and made a $50 million donation to the Human Rights Campaign in his name. It’s all good.”

Jason gives a low whistle. Duke gives a slow clap, clearly impressed.

“Savagery,” Jason whispers, a dramatic hand over his heart. “Art.”

“Truly masterful,” Duke agrees. “But you forgot something. Three somethings, actually.”

The taller teen loops an arm around Tim’s shoulders, steering him toward the cave. “First: Lex Luthor’s a hater who deserves a punch to the face.”

Okay, Tim can’t argue with that. It’s an objective fact.

“Second,” Jason interjects, “aside from the homophobic language that I personally find offensive, he’s also fucked with my favorite white boy. He must pay for his crimes.”

But—wait. Tim is shocked stupid when he realizes Jason just called him his favorite white boy. Awww.

“And third,” Duke sing-songs as they open the grandfather clock. “What he said was fighting words and he can’t beat my ass.”

Tim can’t argue with that logic.