Proper full on Ace Crisis

[jewelcoatfish]

one night ilya manages to drive from ottawa to montreal in ungodly hours to spend more time with his boyfriend (they had the next day planned with shane driving over, but). and when he came into shane’s bedroom he sees his shane wearing his sleep shirt, under one of his softer zip ups, and his duvet smells faintly like ilya’s cologne.

he comes over and there’s tear streak on shane’s face and he’s muttering ilya’s name and fuck ilya wants to fucking cry too so he shakes shane awake and shane looks a little disoriented and half believing that he’s in a dream. it takes a few kisses for shane to understand that ilya’s actually there, at which point he lunges over and sniffs up all of ilya’s smell. apparently he was missing ilya a lot that day and cried during his dream. which is not at all devastating to hear, and doesn’t drive ilya crazy wondering how many times this has happened before.

[hollanov-words]

I know it's fun in fics but I truly don't think Shane/Ilya would be that open about their sex lives in the Centaurs group chat, they'd really want to keep it professional, but I do think it would take the Cens like half a season to notice that they often both went radio silent in the chat at the same time or disappear from a party at the same time. So the joke is that they're leaving to have sex. They're not texting back because they're having sex. But it's really not serious, they're probably just having lunch without their phones or watching Netflix in the hotel room. Like yeah it's funny to wiggle their eyebrows suggestively when Shane/Ilya come back from the bathroom together but obviously they weren't hooking up in the bathroom, that would be unhinged.

Except, you know, they definitely fucking are.

[livythewidow]

I just think if Ilya is confident about anything, it's his body. That includes his hairy nips and trail.

And not that he'd change anything for a guy he sleeps with a few times a year ....

But he cares, in some roaming way his brain won't let his mind settle right on top of, about what Hollander thinks.

Why?

Because no thank you to that question, that's why.

And Hollander keeps everything above the waist smooth, and does he want Ilya to be smooth too?

And the sex is SO GOOD, so he's genuinely not thinking about this with the front of his head.

But it lingers at the base of his skull, pricking at the back of his jaw, lodging itself like a sesame seed fixed between his back teeth.

And the sex is still GOOD and more and more often they're letting themselves stick around after.

And then,

in the after glow,

Ilya taking big breaths just to watch Shane's head on his abdomen rise and fall:

"It tickles," Shane giggles coyly.

"Doyoulikeit?" tumbles out of Ilya before he can scoop up the words and stuff them back into his traitorous mouth.

And Shane answers with a pointed lick up his happy trail, keeping eye contact. He plants a small kiss on Ilya's belly button.

Ilya smirks down at Shane, face giving away nothing, running his fingers greedily through Shane's hair.

But the seed dislodges.

[ladyelspeth14]

in ilya's last year in boston, one day, cliff notices the light pink and dainty water bottle that ilya carries to practice. the water bottle has gone viral online—cliff knows because his new girlfriend recently showed him hollander's ad campaign.

then, during a party, cliff's girlfriend sees ilya wearing a baseball cap that has sold out a while ago, also because of hollander.

ilya smirks and refuses to say how he managed to get the ball cap.

cliff doesn't understand why ilya seems to follow all of hollander's ads, while ilya just enjoys taking all the free stuff from his very fashionable boyfriend.

[mutantrenegade]

You know Jones soda cap, as a tumblr user i can actually say i think I have.

[dylanobrienisbatman]

my hc for hollanov sharing clothes is that they’re the same height but the proportions are flipped. ilya’s hoodies are too big on shane cuz his shoulders are broader and his chest is bigger, and maybe his arms are a bit longer. ilya is experiencing peak cuteness aggression at shane all cozy and cuddled up. BUT. ilya in shane’s sweatpants? they’re barely staying up on him because shane has bigger thighs and wider hips! ilya is wearing them around the house and shane is fucking salivating at the way they are hanging so so low. flipped proportions makes clothes sharing sexier i dont make the rules.

[tweetsongs]

i agree so much about making your blorbos pathetic but i do fear that many take this to mean 'make them more traditionally feminine/submissive' which genuinely hurts my soul. make your blorbos pathetic in interesting character-oriented ways. understand their neuroses and turn the dials up to eleven. juxtapose the parts of life they handle extremely well with the parts of their lives that make them eat shit. make them angry. make them cold. make them pave their own way to hell while building walls preventing them from seeing any other way. please i'm begging you no more pathetic as an euphemism for bottoming im gonna mclose it.

[shanehollanderfreckles]

In order to understand Shane Hollander you have to understand he kept hooking up with Ilya BECAUSE he thought his feelings were not reciprocated. He kept it going specifically because he was sure he would not have to deal with actually being in a relationship with a guy which would require him to actually come to terms with his sexuality.

Its why the moment he realizes there is a chance his feelings are reciprocated on tuna melt day he flees.

[mutinsfromthemoon]

it’s a rainy day. they’re lying in bed after a very slow sex. shane on top of ilya and they’re just lazily making out. shane stops and look at his husband and says “i love you” and ilya says in russian “i love you” and shane smiles and says in french “i love you” and ilya says in spanish “i love you” and then shane “愛してる” and ilya gets confused and raise an eyebrow and asks “what’s this?” and shane says “i love you in japanese” and Ilya whines and says pouting “shane this is not fair”. and now they’ll try to learn how to say “i love you” in every language to say to each other

[beardedmrbean]

[romcommunist]

self discipline is so hard like. i know the sucker who's in charge...a pushover who hates authority and loves hedonism

[pomgore]

i love learning about animals ive literally never seen or heard of before. what amazing diversity of life on this planet earth. what the hell is a japanese serow

[pomgore]

goat dog

[onemillionwordsofcrap]

Oh this is an excellent new beaft. Look at that thang. I'll take a dozen

[onemillionwordsofcrap]

Profoundly unserious, yet strangely majestic. Much like us all.......

[lookatthe-stars13]

shane hollander is a sleep talker and you can’t change my mind

sometimes when ilya can’t sleep he can’t help but giggle at all of shane’s mumbles, then he holds him tighter and tries harder to fall asleep (once shane is talking he knows it’s wayyy past bedtime), and when they wake up he teases shane about it

“you were saying my name in your sleep like ‘ilyaaaaa’ ‘ilyaaaa’, you sounded like you were trying to invite me to the cottage again”

[partywithponies]

My woke take, as someone who has worked in both a public library and a school library, is that we desperately need both more books that are at a higher reading level but a less mature subject matter, and more books that are at a lower reading level but a more mature subject matter, because 8 year olds who are advanced readers are still 8 year olds and don't want to read about graphic violence and torture, and teens and adults who have learning difficulties or who are just later readers for whatever reason are still teens and adults and don't want to read about Billy the Bunny going to school or whatever the hell.

[partywithponies]

Shoutout to people in the notes also mentioning people learning the language, I should've mentioned that really, given that I've been stuck reading German picture books myself while learning German.

[mutinsfromthemoon]

ilya, troy and bood talking and troy asks “who’s your best friend? it has to be me or bood right?” and ilya’s like “wrong” and bood asks “if it’s not us who is it?” and ilya goes “my shanya obviously” and troy goes “your husband can’t be your best friend” at the exact same time bood says “fair” and ilya says “i’m telling harris that you don’t consider him your best friend” and troy’s face falls while boodram laughs

[frawgs]

putting ketchup on fries is too permanent for me … i have to dip . i control the sauce

[kinktendo-shamecube-is-dead]

[argillaforma]

ilya in the beginning of their situationship: haha shane doesn't know how to sext and he's bad at dirty talk and he's so boring and polite he's like a scared little bunny i'm gonna show him how to do this

ilya 12 years into their relationship after shane's 4th hole pic of the day telling ilya how much he needs to be filled: well if it isn't the consequences of my own actions