(un)lost

Cheska, 23. Medstudent. This blog is a collection of photos and musings by Cheska. She often posts about where her mind wanders and photos to preserve her memoirs here.

[prettyliilnett]

𝓘𝓽 𝓶𝓪𝓴𝓮𝓼 𝓶𝓮 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵 𝓼𝓸 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓭

[cherriesofall]

[fade-away-girl]

To be myself today

[remanence-of-love]

[in-reverse]

is this really adulting? it just often gets too lonely.

i miss having deep conversations at 3am. everybody is always in a hurry. everyone has an appointment the next morning and messages only get replied to the next day. it’s always those shallow hi-hellos, the "how are you?"s, but never the "how are YOU?"

i miss the energy of chatting with someone till dawn, giggling about the most random things or just trauma dumping. nowadays, getting a good conversation that would last more than 5 mins is rare or is it just because most of my friends are in healthcare and we're all perpetually exhausted. we only really get to seriously check in with each other when we're tipsy drunk at 3am ranting about how brutal our career choice is.

but now that i'm in my hometown, hanging out with my non-med friends, they're also just as tired of their day jobs and routines. and yes, we do try doing sidequests but even those gets old. even those get tiring.

idk, is this really all there is to it?

[thesirensense]

Your self respect has to be greater than your desire to be loved.

[remanence-of-love]

[remanence-of-love]

[wetheurban]

Sending love to everyone who is just... tired. Life is a lot, and sometimes the answer to it all is to just be still and silent for a while. Give yourself space and grace.

Whether it’s decision fatigue, anxiety fatigue, information fatigue, routine fatigue, getting life back together fatigue, career fatigue, social fatigue, financial fatigue, or physical fatigue: take a moment to breathe and recharge. You deserve it.

[slipng]

𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ peonies 𑁍ࠬܓ

[in-reverse]

life lately (after a while)

hi, i’m back to posting here (i think).

i stopped writing here when it stopped feeling like a safe place to be honest. people i knew found my blog, and suddenly i became too aware of everything i was saying.

so i just… stopped.

life got a little chaotic after that. some things ended, some things stayed longer than they should have.

i think i needed to go through it without writing it down first.

but i miss this space.

maybe it’s also just quieter here now, which makes it feel like mine again.

so i’m back—just a little quieter about it now.

here’s what you missed:

conquered med school and met some of the best people there

fell in love

finished internship

didn’t pass the PLE (a few times)

got diagnosed with PCOS last year

currently: still in a bit of a limbo with my career, but it’s given me time to slow down and actually rest. been reconnecting with old hobbies, picking up new ones, and spending time back home.

i think i’ll stay for a while this time.

[in-reverse]

[in-reverse]

Pede makipagchat? Open dm?

i think di naman sya off?

[traumasurvivors]

If you learned to stay small to stay safe, it makes sense that taking up space feels uncomfortable now.

[bhloomest]

[kundalini33-deactivated20260510]

If someone told me this, I’d prob cry

[farahquotes]

Some people start living at 30. Before that, they were only surviving - doing what was expected, breathing without meaning, moving through years like borrowed clothes that never fit. Some people die at 20. Not in body, but in spirit. Their laughter becomes routine, their dreams shrink, and life turns into a series of obligations they never chose. Some restart at 40. After loss. After heartbreak. After realising that staying alive isn’t the same as living. They gather themselves slowly, like broken glass learning how to reflect light again. Time is a concept humans created - a calendar to make sense of chaos, a clock to convince ourselves there is order. But life doesn’t follow numbers. In the end, it’s never about age. It’s about when a person finally chooses to be alive. ~ farah

[m00wd]

A person raised in love and another raised in survival, will never see the world the same way.

—M00wd

[beruhigdichmal-deactivated20260]

!!!

[zexox]

there was a version of me who begged to be chosen. she rests now.