Camp Fire Flirt
After another arduous day of trekking through the headlands of Eridor, creeping closer to the Grey Mountain Pass, the company broke for camp at a small copse of trees set back from the road. A shallow brook babbled lazily past the back of the copse — quiet, serene, defensible. Perfect.
Once the company had eaten and settled into the round with the fire at the centre, which had become the way these past few months, you sat with Fili, Kili, Ori and Bofur, chatting aimlessly into the night.
Thorin and Dwalin were taking a rare break by the brook, enjoying the ever‑diminishing stocks of Old Toby, when the chuckling conversation floated by.
"Surely, you have been swept off your feet by a wayward comment. It’s known widely that women are easily swayed by the right type of compliment," Kili stated with the absolute assurance of the untested youth.
"That is not so at all!" you rebuked. "In fact, the last ‘right type of comment’ passed my way saw the man covered in his own pint and tossed out on his ear," you said proudly.
"But there must have been a time when someone approached you and made you blush, or stammer, or whatever it is women do," said Fili.
"None that I can recall," you said, looking every bit as proud at never being swayed by a man’s flirtation as you were adamant that it would never happen… not to you.
"Well I don’t believe that for one second," said Kili, not spotting the growing smirk appearing on Bofur’s face.
Thorin and Dwalin shared a knowing look. They could guess what was coming next.
"Then why don’t you approach and pay our wonderful scout here one of these blushing, stammer‑inducing compliments, then, Kili?" said Bofur smiling sweetly.
Kili immediately began to stutter that of course he would, but his uncle would kill him, it wasn’t appropriate, and any other reason he could think of — when suddenly Fili piped up, "I’ve got five gold coins you can’t make her blush."
Chaos — naturally — descended. Bets were placed, antes upped, and the circle grew to include most of the company, including, to your disbelief, Thorin.
"Betting’s closed, lads!" called Bofur. "Call out who’s up for the challenge, then."
"Aye," said Kili proudly.
"Aye," said Fili, glancing sideways at Kili, challenging his brother in this bit of fun.
"Aye," said a very quiet Ori. "If that’s ok with you, that is," he continued, wringing the hem of his shirt in his hands. "Dori said I need to get more involved… if that’s ok?"
"Of course it is! I’m sure you’ll be the one to break her, in fact!" Kili said, beaming a smile at his shy friend, who was slowly beginning to bloom.
"Aye," a deep voice called from the back of the group.
"You what?" asked Bofur.
"I’m in," said Thorin calmly.
“Right you are then” said Bofur, his smile broadening as the challenge got more interesting.
You turned in shock to see Thorin’s eyes glistening with mischief — a rare and wonderful, if slightly terrifying, sight. Your knees began to buckle at the thought of what he might say.
"Ok lads, this is how our little game will go. Kili, you will go first as this challenge was laid for you. Fili will go second, Ori — bravely — will go third, and finally our mighty leader will try his luck to make our girl blush."
The crowd cheered as each man stepped to the side. Bofur approached you and had you stand by the fire so everyone could see and verify if a blush was successful.
Silence descended as Kili began his approach.
"This will be good for the lad," whispered Dwalin to Thorin. "Let him chafe that glimmering personality against the roughness of a woman," he chuckled, knowing the cocksure nature of youth was nothing against the solid wall of an uninterested woman.
Kili came up to you, smiling with the firelight glittering in his eyes. The youthful, playful spark to his features was adorable. You knew he wasn’t going to make you blush.
He held your hand and bent down on one knee. You raised an eyebrow. "Oh Mahal," you thought, struggling not to roll your eyes.
Clearing his throat dramatically, he began, "My lady—"
"Am I?" you interrupted.
"I’m sorry?" he responded.
"Am I a lady? Am I that old? You don’t consider me a friend? It’s very formal," you stated.
"No, no — I mean yes? No, absolutely not," Kili fumbled.
"So I’m not a lady?" you continued.
"No — I mean yes?" Kili continued, looking confused. "What I meant to say was… your beauty is without compare."
"You compared me to other people?" you asked, looking angry.
"No… I didn’t, it’s just… erm…" Kili looked around for help as you took your hand back and stood, arms crossed, in front of the fire.
The circle began to chuckle at the scene. "Not so easy, is it, laddie?" called Balin, thoroughly enjoying the show.
"Apparently not," grumbled Kili as he stood.
Before he could leave, you stopped him and grabbed his hand. "Well done for trying, but I wasn’t going to make it easy on you," you said playfully. He smirked shyly and said, "Consider me corrected, my lady." He winked and walked back to his seat.
"Ok gents, whoever had Kili to make our girl blush — pay up! Fili, I’d prepare as best you can. Our lass isn’t playing around here!"
Fili stood, straightened his moustache braids, and smoothed his hair down. He had a game plan… hopefully.
He approached calmly as you smiled at the elder brother, wondering if he would be as theatrical as the youngster.
"I must apologise for my little brother," he began. Curious, your eyebrow rose. "He gets a little flustered when faced with a beautiful woman," he continued, his eyes glistening with mirth. Oh, so that’s his game. Well then, you thought.
"Oh really," you said. "And pray, my lord, where do you think he learned such behaviour?" you asked sweetly as you walked towards Fili.
The move unnerved him; he wasn’t expecting this.
"He clearly learned it from the warriors that trained us," he quickly deflected, looking at you curiously as you ran a hand up the outside of his arm. You leaned in closer to him.
"I could tell you’re a warrior. It’s all here — in these arms," you said, running your hand over his shoulder. "In this… strong back." You continued to his other side and leaned close to his ear so he could feel the heat from your body, whispering, "It’s in your majesty."
Fili, utterly flustered, didn’t know how to respond. He stammered slightly when a cheer rose up from the crowd.
"She made him blush!" "He’s blushing like a dwarfling!" "He’s redder than his coat!" Kili added proudly.
Only Dwalin at the back with Thorin noticed the tension in his friend’s back as you circled his nephew. Oh, thought Dwalin, this is going to be fun indeed.
Once the crowd had settled up bets and Fili had graciously thanked you for a “good game” and returned to his spot, it was time for the very nervous Ori.
"Ok you lot, hush down now… Ori, my lad, off you go," Bofur said with an encouraging smile.
Ori approached slowly, as if he were walking toward a feral animal. His obvious nervousness — and his bravery at facing it — made you pause. You wouldn’t mess with him.
"It’s said," he began, "that we are made of one stone, split into two beings." He edged closer. "And… and that one side will know the other side easily." He came close and timidly reached out for your hand. "I would know you in total darkness. If I were deaf and you were mute, I would know you. I would seek you in this lifetime or the next, and I would know you" He took a breath. "Wholeness is love shared, will you share in this with me?" he concluded.
Absolute silence within the circle. All looked on at the young scribe with shock, awe, and just a little bit of pride.
You stood shocked for a second until you pulled him into a hug. "Ori," you exclaimed, "that was so very sweet! You truly have the heart of a poet!" you said.
This, unfortunately, made Ori blush vividly in front of the crowd, who all groaned as more bags of coins were passed around.
Ori’s supporters claimed that he had succeeded in striking you dumb — which he had. This was countered by others stating that your comment had made him blush. Bofur, as the self‑appointed judge, declared it a draw, which settled most folks down.
You, however, were not calm. Not at all. The first three were easy to confuse, confound, and compliment. Now, however, you began to feel a tingling in your stomach… it was Thorin’s turn.
You had thought you’d been pretty good at hiding your growing affection for the king — tried not to giggle too hard at his quips, tried not to jump to his service when needed, tried to hide the fact that you were sure you were falling in love with him. And now, by some sick twist of fate, in front of the entire company, the man of your recently entirely inappropriate dreams was about to try and make you blush.
As he began his approach, you were certain, from the sheer pace of your heart, that you were already blushing.
"Alright, my lord — show them how it’s done," called Bofur, and Thorin began.
You locked eyes in a heartbeat as he strode towards you in a commanding step. You couldn’t look away — you physically couldn’t do it.
You stared into his eyes as he approached and stood toe‑to‑toe directly in front of you. He reached up with one hand and cupped your neck, placing his thumb under your chin, his fingers gently caressing the side of your neck under your ear.
His eyes, glimmering in the firelight, scorched pathways into your soul. His pupils dilated. You stood utterly entranced.
He lowered his gaze to your lips then bit his own with evident longing. He hummed in his deep baritone. You were certain you were no longer breathing.
He leaned closer to you, his beard skimming your cheek as his hand tilted your head, exposing your neck to him.
His other hand found your hip and softly gripped you, guiding you that little bit closer. He took a long breath, breathing you in, filling his lungs with your scent, his nose trailing up the side of your neck until his lips brushed the shell of your ear.
His voice — now a heavy, gravelly tone — said, "I bet your forge is a blistering heat." He gave a small sigh of wanting as his grip on your hip tightened. And with that, he pulled back, looked into your eyes, and winked.
Stepping away, he said, "Dwalin, pick up the winnings. I’ll take first watch," and left the circle — leaving you standing stone‑still, blushing furiously from the tips of your toes to the roots of your hair, stammering, attempting to make sense of what had just happened.
Bofur, turning to the youngsters and openly laughing at their shocked faces, said, "And that, lads… is how you do it."
End
