Saf (InNeedofDonuts) 🏴‍☠️⚔️

I want donuts. She/they 22. In my Hollanov era. InNeedofDonuts everywhere.

[puckwanger]

butch4butch hollanova any1?

[transthatmasc]

Saw something earlier that mentioned Ilya becoming a PWHL coach when he retires and it’s completely rewritten my concept of Ilya as a character.

Yes absolutely he is becoming a PWHL coach. He’s doing constant promotional work to expand the league and its audience and doing interviews where he talks shit about all the creeps and losers in and running the NHL. “if me and my husband, Shane Hollander, had been female hockey players, we would have been criminally under paid and almost entirely ignored despite our epic love story. These women take their jobs incredibly seriously and play outstanding hockey. Of course some of them want to kiss each other. Would happen more in the NHL if the vile behavior of some players was not both tolerated and supported by teammates, coaches, and administrators.”

His players love him, the owners don’t understand his methods but can’t argue with results, and the NHL is actively pursuing their second defamation lawsuit against him even as they are actively trying to prevent Luca from doing public appearances with his new husband.

Now that they have his undivided attention, Shane becomes a regular guest commentator for PWHL games (never for Ilya’s team though, he’s in the stadium for those generally) and becomes a highly regarded figure for many PWHL fans.

Also, Shane Hollander loves lesbians. He goes out for mojitos and grain bowls with some of the women from Ilya’s team every month and they all get a little tipsy and grill each other about hockey stats and house renovations. He suddenly discovers the appeal of arranging play dates for your kids when he can hang out with some of the other SAPs and talk about play off chances and the fact that the team is on a road trip during the local spring break week while the kids play with foam blocks in the living room.

[letsfindouttomorrow]

Girlfriends or whatever

[perotovar]

shane hollander appreciation week: day three favorite quotes: his multitudes ♥

HEATED RIVALRY (2025-) dir. Jacob Tierney

[firstprinced]

Heated Rivalry | 1.01 Rookies

[scarringstars]

heated rivalry + favorite songs

[elwenyere]

Ilya Rozanov getting back to his CCM-shoot hotel room after hooking up with Shane Hollander and absolutely blasting "All I Do Is Win" on his 5th generation iPod nano.

[reinvent-and-believe]

heated rivalry text posts

[penandinkprincess]

given how much their love language with each other centers around teasing, i'm laughing imagining ilya fucking with shane by complimenting him and shane fucking HATING IT

especially with how it has to look to people who don't understand their dynamic with each other

"good work, hollander. that was a perfect shot."

"...stop it."

"no, really, textbook hockey. beautiful."

"ilya, shut the FUCK up."

"you really are generational talent."

*visibly fighting the urge to gag*

and meanwhile everyone else on the team is just ??? y'all??? good????

[littletonomanners]

hello… i raise to you… Shane /lovingly/ slapping around ilya..!

(on the ice)

ilya [arms out, eyes shut, skating towards Shane with puckered lips ready for a sloppy wet kiss. not making out! just a disgustingly wet kiss] [he knows Shane would rather kickflip off the side of a building than let him do that, especially in public, but that’s part of the game]: Shane 💋💋💋 shaaaaaaaane 💋💋💋

Shane: dude get off me

Shane: dude

[Shane shoves Ilya away so hard it knocks him on his ass]

[ilya gets up and wraps himself around shane]

Shane: quit it

Shane:

ilya: shaaa— 💋🤕👊🏻💥

[penandinkprincess]

given how much their love language with each other centers around teasing, i'm laughing imagining ilya fucking with shane by complimenting him and shane fucking HATING IT

especially with how it has to look to people who don't understand their dynamic with each other

"good work, hollander. that was a perfect shot."

"...stop it."

"no, really, textbook hockey. beautiful."

"ilya, shut the FUCK up."

"you really are generational talent."

*visibly fighting the urge to gag*

and meanwhile everyone else on the team is just ??? y'all??? good????

[penandinkprincess]

the first person shane ever fights on the ice in his professional career is scott hunter

the second is ilya rozanov, who is on the same team as him and also his husband

shane gets asked about it later and is still mad and just "because he doesn't know when to shut up" and literally everyone in the nhl is just *nod nod* yes they understand this

and then from over shane's shoulder in the frame is a grinning ilya going "BEAUTIFUL right hook, hollander, you really-" and they have to pull shane away again

[lucylehane]

Jacob with some spot-on Ilya character analysis (and general thoughts on sex-as-self)

It's Open With Ilana Glazer

[cloudabserk]

happy gay hockey sunday

[scunthotter]

Let's all hold hands and agree that in season 2 both Shane and Ilya are trying their best and we will not pit two bad bitches against each other. 🤝

[ggfj84]

9:34 a.m. on a Tuesday in a Tampa IHOP

Canon Divergence | Outsider's POV | Troy checked out Ilya one time and Shane will never forget it

T | 6.8k | One-shot

Summary: After the Centaurs’ emergency landing, Jane stops texting Ilya. The team begins to wonder if their captain’s mysterious girlfriend deserves him.

Then Shane Hollander walks into the Tampa IHOP where the Centaurs are having breakfast.

Excerpt:

Another buzz sounded two moments later. “Sorry?” he read, then lifted his annoyed eyes toward the team, like they would have the answers. “Why is she sorry?” Silence overtook the table, everyone fearing the same thing. Was Jane going to break up with Ilya? “Maybe she doesn’t deserve you,” Luca, of all people, offered. Troy’s eyebrow shot up. The entire team looked toward the blushing forward who hastily shoved an entire taco pancake into his mouth. “He’s right,” Wyatt said. When Ilya jerked his head back, shocked, he continued, “You’ve been in this relationship with Jane for years, yet she didn’t return your texts for hours and is now making you guess what they mean? I don’t care who that person is, Roz. They don’t deserve you.”

Read the full story on AO3 now!

A/N: It's super hard to create Instagram posts. To all the graphic designers and coders out there, you have my appreciation and gratitude. I hope to be decent at it one day!

Today is not that day.

[egberts]

it's so easy to do things! it's so easy to get up and do things and get things done! i am capable and motivated and executive dysfunction can't touch me. *starting to cry a little because my affirmations aren't working* it's so easy to do things, come on get up, it's easy, let's do things *mental image of a cartoon trying to move a heavy lazy animal* come onnnnn

[egberts]

IT'S SO EASY TO DO THINGS! IT'S SO EASY TO GET THINGS DONE!!!!

[thisfeebleheart]

patient needs neck kisses to survive

[perlukafarinn]

At some point after they're married, Shane and Ilya are apart for like a week for ~reasons~ and when they're both home again, Shane basically jumps Ilya by the front door and drags him to the bedroom.

After they're finished fucking, Shane says something to the effect of, "I can't believe I used to go months without this."

And Ilya, as smug and satisfied as the cat who got the proverbial cream, replies, "Bet you wouldn't have held out for two years if you'd known what getting fucked felt like, huh?"

"Maybe," Shane says. He's still kind of out of it, so the next words slip out thoughtlessly, "I mean, I wanted to when we first planned it. I just kind of freaked out when it fell through and you left me on read."

Ilya's heart drops. "What do you mean?"

Shane does not pick up on his change in tone. "Just made me feel like I was alone in how much I wanted it. Obviously when you kept messaging me I realized I wasn't but it took a while to get over that feeling, y'know?"

Then he yawns, turning over to cuddle into Ilya's side, already drifting off and unaware that Ilya is now wide awake, staring up at the ceiling and wondering if wanting to go back in time and wring his nineteen year old self's neck counts as thoughts of self harm.