Beez?

Beez. She/her · 24 · Courting Malleus with Excellent Results · Here to fangirl and ramble. My writing blog is @twisted-beez and sometimes I draw too!!! Feel free to send asks or chat!

[ventique18]

Malleus' favoritism towards the player is so funny because in the jp event others offend him once and he tolerates, but offend him twice and he blows up. Meanwhile the prefect boops him without permission, shows up late and makes him wait, tries to grab his tail etc and he just goes "hehehehe I'll forgive you once because it's you (repeat unlimited times)"

[tiyoin]

no cause this is still the funniest twst ss to ever exist

[insideous-beez]

I've got a Octavinelle shenanigans fanfic concept floating around in my head where MC realizes they may have gotten love potion'd by someone and goes to Octavinelle for help. Jade suggests they "verify" it by making Floyd drink the rest. Basically the culprit gets pinned by a feral, love-potioned Floyd and learns to absolutely never pull that shit again. The purpose of this fanfic would be zero shipping vibes but full Octavinelle chaos.

[mothcub]

Hog spotted.

[fruitydiaz]

yeah “i can teach you” is kind and gentle and warm and comforting. it’s also hot. right

[jijijig]

MC, holding baby Malleus in her arms defensively: I’m totally not adoring him.

@campichor ’s commission!!!

this is so cute just ADORABLE my lovely little marshmallow kitty cat dragonling is hugged by Ivan(my prefect/mc)

[neenarchive]

vampire who’s married to an archaeologist voice: my love, stop trying to carbon date me

[neenarchive]

*at the museum* my love, why is my cursed amulet in this display case

[irrational-dreamer]

Ok, my archaeometrist ass has something to say!

First, an archaeologist wouldn’t carbon date something. It’s not his job. This kind of analysis belongs to the archaeometrist, thank you very much!

Next, using carbon dating on a vampire raise really interesting questions. Because, you see, you can only carbon date completely dead things. Basically, the body absorb Carbon 14 while it’s alive, and after death, this radioactive element slowly decompose (half of it every 5730 years). When you measure how much is left, you can know how long ago the person/plant/whatever died. Going back to the vampire. Officially, vampires are dead. But they feed on human blood, living humans. I’m not sure of the logistic of carbon 14 linking itself to a body, but I think it would false the result. The good news is, as vampire can talk, they would be able to confirm or not. Meaning that we would be able to create a template and see if drinking blood reset your quantity of carbon 14, or if you can still get the age of death of the vampire by removing whatever carbon 14 they ingest through blood. But I think it would depend of how much blood they had ingested since their passing, and a lot of other variables.

The other question is: how dead is a vampire? Do they still breathe? How do they interact with their environment? Would that be enough to keep their carbon 14 at “normal” level? If so, they would be considered alive by this dating technique. Wouldn’t that be an emotional journey for our poor vampire?

I’m actually really invested in this.

[neenarchive]

*dropping a garlic-free lasagne on the counter top* my love, we’ve talked about inviting archaeometrists to our dinner parties

[genshin-impact-updates]

Happy Birthday, Zhongli!

A good outfit is more precious than gold itself. I chanced upon this as I was cleaning my old place today, and it brought back many fond memories.

The year approaches its end. In former years, the streets would be filled with people setting off fireworks, bidding farewell to the old and ushering in the new.

If you just so happen to be free, please allow me a moment to change and we'll head down there together. It'll be a good opportunity to tell you some new stories too.

[lgb-without-t-deactivated202509]

[tim-ee-sis]

For anyone who doesn't know, this is from the Indy Drag Theatre where I live and these queens are SUPER talented. All of the shows are hilarious drag versions of popular movies/shows during which the audience is encouraged to interact like a drag show.

If you ever get the chance, come see a show! And obviously invite me to go with you since I live here!

[cheruib]

that comment about how you should not borrow grief from the future has saved me multiple times from spiraling into an inescapable state of anxiety. like every time i find myself thinking about how something in the future could go wrong i remember that comment and i think to myself: well i never know, it might get better. it might not even happen the way i think it will and if it does happen and it is sad and bad ill be sad about it then, when it happens. and it’s somehow soo freeing

[catmask]

btw with art when people say 'youve got to do it scared' 'youve got to draw bad' 'youre not gonna know how to do it until you do it' it sounds like bullshit but its true. 90% of art is just getting over the fear that it's not going to be good enough to deserve to be made in the first place. but you're here. you're alive and, with no need to justify that, you're going to make art. it's just part of being alive. you'll spend so long worrying you aren't doing it good enough that you'll look back and realized you didn't live a single day of it.

[gjjuddmk2]

[narcissus3439-deactivated202402]

Far Cry Cradle

Happy Birthday Lilia and Happy New Year, wishes you all a pleasant 2024

Bro looks like a bearded dragon

[akechisu1]

[finisnihil]

I’m tired of people acting like Zhongli is a serious and chill guy who would never cause problems on purpose as if he isn’t one of the biggest menaces out of the Seven. He used to throw mountains at Venti for annoying him. He, the god of history, starts fights among historians for shits and giggles. He tried to gaslight the Traveler into thinking he was totally not at the Chasm guys really Aether/Lumine you must be seeing things maybe you should go see Baizhu. When Qiqi wanted “Cocogoat” milk he was like “Oh yeah sure totally let’s go look for it” knowing damn well it was a wild goose chase. He made the Traveler sing to a flower and then was like “Oh would you look at that” when a Whooperflower jumped out to maul them. I love him. He’s like a cat pushing things off the counter to see how people react. I would pay to see him interact directly with Neuvillette because I know for a fact he’d get on that man’s nerves and argue about water tasting just to feel something. Furina used freedom from godhood to take a nap and Zhongli used it to give psychic damage to anyone who talks to him longer than 5 minutes. Iconic.

[finisnihil]

SO TRUE BESTIE like there’s literally a part where Paimon calls Zhongli a parasite and comments he has to live off other people’s credit because he can’t just make money for himself or get free shit for being an Archon anymore and he just looks at her and goes “I mean it’s just the Fatui’s money you don’t have to say it like that” LIKE EJRNRJRJRJFJR HE KNOWS WHAT HE’S DOING HE’S VERY AWARE HE’S JUST BEING A LITTLE SHIT BECAUSE HE CAN GET AWAY WITH IT

It’s even funnier when you consider it’s basically a middle finger to Pantalone because his entire thing is trying to take over the economy to spite Zhongli only for Zhongli to turn around and start mooching off him without consequence bro is a MENACE and I just know when Pantalone saw Childe’s financial reports he was frothing at the mouth about it

[luulapants]

My elderly father started talking about how frustrating he finds “the pronouns thing” and I was like. Oh no. He had such a good stand on this, he’s been they/them-ing his cishet siblings for god’s sake! Is he regressing?? And he was talking about how difficult it is to remember, and how onerous it feels to expect strangers to keep track of it, and I’m like oh no oh no.

Then he says, “I mean, the problem isn’t the gender thing. The problem is four words: she, her, he, and him. We got rid of stewardess and turned it into flight attendant. It doesn’t matter if the flight attendant is a man or woman, so we got rid of it. We just need to get rid of those. I don’t need to know.”

“You don’t need to know… people’s gender?”

“No. I don’t care, I don’t need to know, and I don’t want to remember it.”

So we can relax. It’s just a continuation of his crusade to they/them the world. He doesn’t want to remember anyone’s gender. He’s abolishing the genders.

[teaboot]

Your dad is so powerful

[lulviett]

Put me and her in a room and I’m coming out pregnant I love this woman