a little piece of heaven

em | 23 | she | unreliable narrator

[paracunt]

Hayley Williams presents Ego Death at a Bachelorette Party Tour, performing her third show of the tour at Massey Hall (night one) in Toronto, Ontario (2026) by ashley bellam

[h4nifah]

sorry im not giving into the cutting out sweet treats propaganda. life is hard enough

[notahungrywish]

When Yuna has her “no son(in law) of mine will have inferior brand deals and management” takeover shortly after she learns about Shane and Ilya, how long do you think it takes her to figure out his money situation with his family?

I’m imagining her/maybe Shane playfully ribbing him about how he has no real financial manger or decent investments and what do you MEAN you just let a paycheck like that sit in your account while buying luxury cars every five minutes no wonder your net worth is shockingly low for your value, etc etc. and he’s not even offended he’s surprised and pleased that his new family is so invested in him and also enjoys watching where Shane gets some of his crazy. Like Ilya Mommy Issues Rozanov is “yes please ma’am optimize my finances and worry about my wellbeing harder” while he shovels whatever David made for dinner in his mouth.

But then at some point while she’s (lovingly) harping on his financial irresponsibility he just kind of quietly mentions that actually so much of his paycheck was going back home to his family when he was younger that he needed to blow shit on cars or whatever pretty quick if he didn’t want it to disappear. And she realizes that yeah he’s a little dummy who spent a concerning amount of money on VIP sections last year and thinks bank account interest is investing but he was also a child supporting his entire family in a foreign country with no one bothering to look out for his best interest or explain planning for a future.

David gets treated to impassioned rants every night about how “David I’m not convinced anyone even read that boy his contract in Russian”.

She starts managing him as well, obviously, and she’s kind of disturbed by how easily he just signs whatever she puts in front of him and doesn’t bother asking questions before agreeing to hand over all his management to her. He just seems thrilled she got him a Lamborghini partnership and an invite to fashion week.

The only time he puts up a fuss is when he realizes she’s not planning to take any significant cut of his money because “you’re family sweetheart” and he looks like he got smacked in the head with a shovel and has to go outside on the porch with Shane for a suspiciously long period of time.

Just to make sure it’s not suspicious that Yuna Hollander is now managing Ilya Rozanov she takes on a few more clients too. And if she specializes in managing rookies with no support network or active language barriers then that’s just a coincidence.

[pansyfemme]

whatever.

[pansyfemme]

i dont caaaaaare

[pansyfemme]

google search how to make someone explode

[autistic-michael-queerler]

*walks out of the homoerotic friendship covered in blood and wounds* you should see the other guy

[autistic-michael-queerler]

*regular guy walks out, completely unaware anything is happening*

[twocloudsinthesky]

I need more Ilya out freaking other players when they chirp about his relationship. Some hockey player says "you're just Hollander's little bitch" and he answers "yes we have leash and collar with my name" in such a straight face no one can tell if it's a joke or if he's serious. Or he makes a goal and someone says "does he reward you for being good later" and he says "yeah I'm only allowed to cum when I score".

I mght actually end up writing this if I can figure out better/more examples.

[earthwalkerr-deactivated2026052]

ill be unstoppable once I finally heal this gaping wound

[bambicoded]

it's important to me that ilya remains captain of the centaurs after shane joins, but i have a specific picture in my mind of shane being assistant captain and being generally harmless and super chill , so the centaurs see him as like the chill parent (something to be said about shane being content in letting someone else, specifically His Someone, have the reins and enjoying not being in charge) but then ilya has to be out for a few weeks for like health or smth so shane goes into Captain Mode and the centaurs are scared shitless by how intense he gets all of a sudden. the most intense drills of all time. the hardest plays they've ever heard of. the strictest practices on earth. and they suddenly understand why shane led the metros/voyagers to victory so many times and why ilya treats him like the boss in their relationship. and then as soon as ilya comes back he turns it off and the centaurs are like Oh Thank Fuck Because What The Hell Was That

[aphantasias]

shane and ilya may not change their names legally after they marry but i know ilya makes all their dinner and vacation reservations under hollander. i know he's ilya hollander in his heart of hearts. to him they are The Hollander Household. they send christmas cards with 'love, the hollanders'. it's real to me

[thefilmhoardersdiary]

[lavenderprose]

The way that Ilya goes monogamous for the first time in his entire life and immediately starts dropping I Love You's and pet names and Gimme Kiss. Meanwhile monogamy and a gay awakening have combined in Shane's brain to chemically trigger a Sexual Chernobyl wherein Shane Hollander is now the world's thirstiest slut for one ☝🏻 man. Ilya is thinking about exactly how he's going to propose and Shane is integrating Same Penis Forever into his believe system, his diet and his exercise regime.

[lavenderprose]

Shane Hollander, ten minutes after winning a Stanley Cup, actively being celebrated by his team, soaked in champagne and hornier than he’s ever been in his entire life: I need to text him. I need to text my no strings attached fuckbuddy arch-rival. This reveals nothing deeper about myself. This is just the best moment of my life and I would like to share it with the man whose dick I suck four times a year and who I have no feelings for whatsoever. The only thing that could make this night better is Ilya Rozanov inside me on the day I won a Stanley Cup (Who said that?) but I’m NORMAL and actually I HATE HIM and it means nothing that the only thing I want to do after winning the Stanley Cup is touch Ilya Rozanov’s dick (Who SAID that?) But he’s in FUCKASS BOSTON so instead of celebrating with my team or meeting a hookup to go home with because I just WON A STANLEY CUP I am going to text Ilya. Do you think he’ll sext me (WHO SAID THAT??) I deserve it. I won a Stanley Cup.

[halfwayto-h3ll]

personal head canon: after winning said stanley cup and after the texts we see, shane receives another text, from you guessed it - ilya fucking rozanov - what does ilya say you ask - what is the code to get into your apartment - mister ilya motherfucking rozanov planned ahead, bought a plane ticket, flew to MONTREAL, because he KNEW shane and the metros would win. how did he know you ask - HE ONLY HAS THE BIGGEST HOCKEY PSYCHIC, SVETLANA VETROVA, TO GIVE HIM THE INSIDER SCOOP. then when shane does not immediately respond, he receives another text from ilya - what time will you be home? shane being shane, he decides to go back home instead of going out with his team, telling them "i have plans boys" and IMMEDIATELY they all believe he is going to get laid so are HAPPY to let him go enjoy himself, fully not knowing that shane is going to get dicked into next week by his alleged rival ilya MOTHERFUCKING rozanov. shane texts ilya back the code and says simply "shortly" trying to feign being cool calm and collected that ILYA IS WAITING AT HIS APARTMENT. shane rushes to get out of the locker room, which only eggs on his teammates to tease that their captain is getting LAID after winning the STANLEY CUP. finally he. gets back to his apartment and there is his supposed rival ilya fucking rozanov on his couch. and then shane gets dicked into next year on every surface of his apartment.

[lavenderprose]

Playing in this sandbox with YOUUU

May I suggest: Ilya booked the flight not because Sveta had a Premonition (or at least not only) but because if Shane wins they can have insane athletic people sex all over Shane’s apartment and if Shane lost then he’d probably be sad and feel small and Ilya could come hold him (WHO SAID THAT) and make him forget with…the power of his dick, u kno. Also loving the idea that Ilya texts Shane “Give me the code to your door” and Shane just. Immediately giving it to him. More of their insane dom/sub roles play sexting shit. Wheeeee

Thinking thoughtsssss

[tevanbuckley]

⟣ hollanov + playfulness

[ilya-rozanova]

Hudson Williams on The Tonight Show

[rylandsgrace]

HUDSON WILLIAMS

For Timid Magazine (31/12/25)

[xbuggyxboyx]

they need to invent a staying up late that doesn't make you get less sleep

[riverlarking]