incomprehensible screaming in the tags

18+ fandom blog // he-him-his protect trans people! main is distracticon picrew credit: star-trek-dumb-comics

[ionamalachite]

i'm sorry followers who followed me for reanimator or jeffrey combs or star trek. this blog Now Contains Murderbot. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU FOLLOWED ME FOR

[sobcat]

ideal day: wake up late. iced latte. my video game. crazy reheated lunch. my show. supermarket trip to waste money. a snack. creative endeavours deep into the night. same thing next day.

[ionamalachite]

My parents have Married at First Sight on the tv (season 19 and 20... when a new episode of 20 comes out...) and oh my god you couldn't pay me to be on that show. Bro. Torture chamber. Putting them in situations except the situation isn't kinky or fun it's being forced to be romantic with Some Rando in front of cameras!!! And if you don't do it well enough you're going to be divorced in ~8 weeks in a publicly embarrassing way. Imagine having to be romantic with someone you lowkey want to kill in front of cameras. What on earth.

[ionamalachite]

I'm trying cherry vodka tonight!

[maggotmuncher0]

still trying out koh-i-noor watercolour pencils! ABSOLUTELY LOVE 'EM

[theonion]

[ionamalachite]

I occasionally* (*= every day, sometimes to the same doctor twice in a day) have to message doctors and tell them which medications are covered under a specific program (I am sparing you the long lecture here) which, the doctors should already know through the meetings they've had with the pharmacy leadership (cue blank stare).

So today I messaged some doctor and gave him a list of all the options AND SPECIFIED that one of the options is a KWIKPEN. Not the pen injector. In fact, in our short exchange, I clarified TWICE. KWIKPEN, NOT PEN INJECTOR.

A) this is how he replied:

and B). He did not send the kwikpen.

[chromaticrainarts]

Im not one for rock divorce but I gotta be honest it's the funniest shit ever

[notholaenas]

they both have a thing about hands

[nekmunnit]

Getting ready for a play date

[etheireimagined]

you're gonna do great

[justcakethanks]

Rocky never skips leg day

[ionamalachite]

there's. there's a cabinet at work. that contains several vibrators in their original packaging. it haunts me lowkey

[funny-tik-toks]

[youremysunshine8]

This dog's face is sending me. New reaction image

[happybunnykat]

What if I start a trend called "No one nuts November" where everyone writes about their favorite characters having bad sex that sucks and isn't fun.

[happybunnykat]

Okay so I made a list of 30 (well, 29 actually) prompts I am releasing into the wild. The point of this is that at least one of the participants are not having a good time.

It has 30 prompts for November but feel free to write and post whenever, but please add the tag #No one nuts November or #NoonenutsNovember wherever you post. You do not have to @ or credit this blog if you use any of these prompts.

(Text version under the cut)

1. Safeword

2. Sub/dom drop

3. Loosing intrest halfway through

4. Trying something that doesn't work

5. Medical emergency (bonus points: it happens during bondage)

6. Bad/failed orgasm

7. Should have safeworded

8. "Wait, it's not supposed to hurt?"

9. "Let's never try that again."

10. Sex so bad they break up after

11. Realistic shower sex

12. Incompatible kinks

13. Threw up on that thang

14. Can't get hard/wet/aroused

15. Says wrong persons name during sex

16: ugly crying/overwhelmed

17: "I remembered you being better at this"/"I'm not impressed."/"I've had better."/"You're not hung chill"

18: Allergic reaction/cut off circulation

19. Dirty talk/degradation gets too real

20. Ignored/missed a safeword

21. Random horny confession that kills the mood for the other person/people

22. "No really, that's not going to fit."

23. Fire alarm goes off/interrupted by a third party

24. Pushing themselves into sex they aren't ready for

25. Sex toy gets stuck

26. Only one person having fun/agreeing to boring sex

27. Couple brings in a bad 3rd

28. Sex in a bad location

29. Sex so bad it kills you/one of the participants dies

30. Free day

[asynca]

Write that one-shot. Those 3 chapters will be the best 10 chapters you ever wrote

[eameschairs]

AU where they figured out how to touch each other. don't worry about it