they call me profen because i be
-Renee Descartes
Cosimo Galluzzi
dirt enthusiast
No title available

Love Begins
Stranger Things

Discoholic 🪩
$LAYYYTER
Mike Driver
Keni
KIROKAZE
AnasAbdin
todays bird
hello vonnie

Janaina Medeiros

oozey mess

shark vs the universe
styofa doing anything
Claire Keane
macklin celebrini has autism
YOU ARE THE REASON

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@isthisagundam
they call me profen because i be
-Renee Descartes
It’s time to activate it…
Bites The Dust! now this entire post will be reversed!
How many versions of this chaos are there
u ever talk to a business major and ur like “so what do you do?” and they fuckin say something like “i work in aggregate client centric business executive content data management logistics analytics development” like sir none of those words have definitions
And now you understand that the look in their eyes is not the void but the reflection staring back burned into their retina until it became as empty and hollow as what it imitates.
i like the little map on doordash because you can watch your delivery driver completely miss your address in real time
daniel you are going in the completely wrong direction. let me help you daniel
daniel i am hungry. i am opening my mouth like a baby bird daniel
bard is a combat class which is true bc I’ve never met anyone in marching band that didn’t want to throw down
playing tuba in marching band means you can power walk 2 miles backwards on your toes in 16 minutes whithout bending your knees while carrying a 35lb blunt metal object with your arms held at right angles and blasting every extra gulp of oxygen you can spare without asphyxiating to make sounds loud enough to deafen the dead in an an act of pure unchristian violence, your bard is the party member who will teach you how to kill god by example
I’ve never eated a sushi before
Eaten*
You’re smart and clever and everyone here loves you
yhanks everyone i waill go abn heat asousi as soon a fucki98 poibl:) a
Thanks*
Will*
And*
Eat*
a*
Sushi*
As*
Fucking*
Possible*
:):):)
Youcowntxorrxteeverhingniisaymovturtc7cker, soonerr olayer yiure goiingtotget losgt j8jn. this messsnwe call a sentence m, englishb languahe. Thr coroprealbighmare thatweconsideg speech,means nothinto me.
What I believe Pukicho means in the keyboard spam above is:
You can’t correct everything I say motherfucker, sooner or later your going to get lost in this mess we call a sentence, English language. The incorporeal nightmare that we consider speech means nothing to me.
https://you-can-not-undo.tumblr.com/post/185191941492
here we go i’m gonna do this
can someone,,, like type that out? it’s an igmur link,,, i know that much.
thanks to @juanton7 i got the link
it’s https://imgur.com/p0H8U6p# and it leads to this
i ran it thru photoshop and it did nothing haha
i also tried replacing the 0 with an o in the link and i got nothing so,,,, any ideas?
up ur brightness
THANKS @kittywolves
(i did auto contrast in ps)
@pukicho you’re a lil bitch,, y’know that.
Thanks for playing!
Another hilarious thing I feel we should talk about more is the fact that *film* Aragorn and Arwen break up right before Aragorn leaves Rivendell……. meaning that film!Aragorn spends most of the quest in an “oh my god my relationship of 50 years just ended what do I even do with myself????” depression haze.
It explains so much…..
Like. Externally Aragorn is on an epic quest to save Middle Earth, internally he’s crying on the couch in his sweatpants eating a tub of the Middle-Earth equivalent of Ben and Jerry’s
Legolas: Aragorn?
Aragorn: Arwen used to call me Aragorn…..
Legolas: Because it’s your fucking name
To be clear I actually love the film’s version of Aragorn/Arwen’s relationship, there’s a lot of Dramatic Potential/ angsty meta you could write on it, but–.
BUT
It’s also like– you think Aragorn has to put up with Legolas and Gimli’s annoying romance antics? Legolas and Gimli have to deal with Aragorn spending half the quest staring wistfully into the distance and sighing dramatically about What Can Never Be™…with how often he sings the Lay of Luthien, basically the Middle Earth equivalent of Adele’s Someone Like You….
Gimli: You haven’t washed your hair in MONTHS. We’re staging an intervention.
Aragorn (lying flat on the ground with his face in the dirt): aweralwkerjwae
Legolas: You’re only 87– you’ve got your whole life ahead of you. You can find love a second time!
Aragorn: I did. Boromir died.
Legolas: Maybe three is your lucky number!
#for me film Legolas’ main character trait#is that he’s incapable of reading the room (tags via @overthinkinglotr)
Found out today that a level 18 tabaxi monk, under the effects of a haste spell, wearing boots of speed, and using feline agility, and then using both action and haste action to dash, combined with step of the wind bonus action dash, can technically move 1920 feet per round. That’s 218 miles per hour. I’m getting nauseous just thinking about it.
So I was curious a little while ago, and as far as I can tell, the top attainable speed in D&D 5e is 5400 feet per round, or 613.6 mph.
Gotta go FAST
An alarm clock except the alarm is set to every time
we touch
i get
this feeling
All great suggestions
This post gets better every time I see it
Every time I see a post about updog I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help the poster complete their joke.
okay but what’s updog ?
Updog is a long sausage in a bun often served with ketchup, mustard, onion e, and/or relish.
No, that’s a hotdog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released
You’re thinking of update. Updog is when you end a sentence with a rising intonation.
No, that’s uptalk. You’re thinking of the fourth-largest city in Sweden.
surely that’s Uppsala, whereas Updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.
That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs
You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.
no that’s an updraft
updog isn’t a noun at all, it’s a verb; it basically means to chew someone out, or harshly lecture them
No, that’s upbraid. An updog is a small dog that likes cuddling on people’s laps.
No that’s a puppydog. An updog is when the Mets win.
No that’s an upset. An updog is the modern version of a henway.
What’s a henway?
Oh, about 5 pounds.
GOTTEM
this post pushed me down the stairs and stole my firstborn child
15/09/2019
Every Spider-Man villian fourty five seconds into a heist.
Have I ever shown you guys these weird late 80s Soviet Lord Of The Rings illustrations?
They were made by Sergei Iukhimov, who’s virtually unknown otherwise.
More from where that came from
Holy fuck this is absolutely perfect
I hated them as a kid, but I can appreciate them now.
Some more reasonably sized ones here:
LOTR art that actually looks like medieval illuminations? holy shit
me, reaching into my dresser drawer for black pants: I hope this isn’t the pair with big holes worn in the inner thighs
Marie Kondo, gently over my shoulder: why is a pair of pants you find unwearable still in your dresser drawer
me: oh shit that’s right!! The dresser is for clothes that under some circumstance I might conceivably wear!!
Marie Kondo, beaming proudly: Yes, that’s correct!! These pants must have been your favorites. How wonderful that they were so comfortable and practical that you wore them out. But now since they no longer function as pants, you should move them from the drawer where you keep your functioning pants!
me: Yes thanks I got it they’re in the fabric basket now
Marie Kondo, fading back into the darkness: I love what you’ve done with the kitchen!!
The notion of KonMari as some creepy semi-embodied but entirely benevolent spirit, like a well-intentioned Bloody Mary, is so perfect and wonderful.
Marie Kondo has the same powers but the exact opposite energy of the Duolingo Owl.
YES.
Marie Kondo: Your room isn’t very clean, but that’s okay, I love mess! Does this spark joy?
Duolingo Owl: I wrote the ransom note in Spanish, and if you have to use Google Translate to read it, your kid gets it. You broke your streak. I’ll break your neck.
Marie Kondo holding your child, while standing on the remains of the Duolingo Owl : The Bird did not spark joy