iStiz

Mostly, I just reblog stuff I like. On occasion, I make things.

[rucrazy12]

[istiz]

after returning home from the vet, my cat always sploots out on her belly - when she did it today I said “that’s right, good girls regulate their bodies when they’re feeling anxious” and I think I accidentally wrote my first piece of audhd bdsm

[roykentschesthair]

You know what genuinely pisses me off?

The Ted Lasso finale that thought Roy would punch Jamie.

We’ve seen these two in each others faces, at each others throats, but it’s never been a fist fight.

Never true physical violence.

The threat of it, sure. But Roy and Jamie have never actually swung on each other.

And yeah Roy would need to learn to reign in his temper, and Jamie sometimes needs to learn how not to provoke, but a Roy Kent who saw James Tartt Sr go after his own son?

The Roy Kent who hugged Jamie tight because it was what he needed?

He would never and I mean never swing on Jamie.

Not even over Keeley.

(Which I maintain was an absurd and reductive idea in the first place)

Roy Kent would never hit Jamie Tartt, and he’d certainly never encourage him to forgive his abusive father (looking at you Ted you fucking idiot) and I’ll never forgive the finale for taking these two characters so far back they’re nearly unrecognizable.

[arthurscrownn]

It's so insane of them to make it so clear that Roy does love Jamie, and cares about his trauma, only to have them beat each other up. Not only did they have Roy invoke physical pain on him, but they also made Jamie have zero trauma response to it?! Unrealistic af!

It also bugs me that in the whole show Jamie only punches two people. One being his shitty, abusive father, and the other being a man he trusts and adores. What kind of shit is that? I don't care who hit first because either way it's terrible!! Roy hitting first means he was hitting someone he knew was abused. Jamie hitting first means he was hitting someone he had admired since childhood, which because of his growth we know he would never do. It was extremely ooc for them to physically fight each other. It would have made sense in s1, I mean they came very close to it, and in s1 Roy wasn't aware of the abuse, but in s3 after so much growth, apologies and healed wounds? Hell no.

I love Ted Lasso, I think it's an amazing show, but this was such poor writing. I like to pretend it never happened and the scene ended right after they clinked their bottles together, especially because, say it with me; Roy Kent would never punch Jamie Tartt even if Jamie was the one to swing first !!!!

[fanficfanattic]

I know there are people who point out growth isn’t linear. And that falling back on old habits can/does happen.(It does!)

Except that isn’t one of their old problems. That isn’t a habit that these two men actually had. The closest is Roy playfully* head-butting Jamie as a sort of balance to hugging him and then jumping up&down like school kids.

There is regressing and then there is de-evolving somehow. Them really yelling at each other? That would be a realistic regression. Silent treatment? Makes sense. Becoming physically violent in a way they never have before? JFC & WTF & HELLO?!?

*Jamie suffered no injury or illness from it. Which we know Roy can and has employed. Ergo, playful.

[writing-prompt-s]

A strange alien doctor stands near the unconscious body of Padme Amidala. “It appears she has lost the will to live.” A older man with a limp hobbles closer with the aid of a cane. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” says Dr. Gregory House.

[gwenthebard]

-Keeps Padme on life support despite DNR, somehow this ends in him getting punched by Obi-Wan

-Immediately starts putting her on every treatment known to man

-Walks over to Wilson’s office, which is the only part of the entire ship that just looks the same as it does in the show

-Homoerotically complains about how stupid Jedi are, then makes a bet with Wilson on whether Obi Wan is gay or the father of Padme’s twins (Wilson wants House to believe people can be faithful)

-Padme almost dies again. Turns out the treatment’s not working

-“if the dark side nearly killed her, maybe it can save her”

-House uses force lightning to restart Padme’s heart

-Gets brought into Cuddy’s office and told off for using an experimental treatment, and the power of the dark side, in her hospital

-House is taken off the case and foreman is put in charge of the case

-Padme is unexpectedly doing better, but Cuddy refuses to tell House or else he’ll be using the dark side to save all his patients

-House watches on as Wilson tries seducing a relieved Obi Wan while he paces in the lobby. Doesn’t seem to work

-House interrogates Obi Wan about his relationship with Padme, insinuates it’s Obi Wans Fault. Gets in a struggle and once theyre seperated it’s revealed he ripped out some beard hair

-Padme is getting released from the hospital but crashes again with obvious signs of infection. Everyone blames the dark side of the force

-is put in intensive care again, everyone thinks she’s going to die, House is brooding.

-House meets Bail Organa and talks to him, Bail mentions how he was so worried about her the last time she was in a hospital, and this seems much more hopeless

-“what time she was in the hospital?”

-House marches in as they’re about to pull the plug, rolling Padme’s unconcious body over to point at dark spot on the back of her neck

-Foreman looks disapointed, “it’s a bruise house, her husband nearly snapped her neck.”

-“Our princess’ boyfriend here failed to mentioned she was scratched by a Nexu on Genosis years ago. Nexu claws are known as a vicious poison.”

-“it would have killed her years ago”

-“unless a small chunk of claw stuck in her back, working into the muscles near the nape of her neck for years. The little prince of Darkness chokes her, pressure and muscles spasming lets it work into a blood vessel. It’s why the force lightning only was a bandaid, it vaporized what was in her bloodstream but broke up the rest of the claw and let it enter in her bloodstream. Start her on dialysis, she’ll be fine by tomorrow afternoon.”

-Next day Padme’s wheeled out of the hospital with her two children, bittersweetness. House watches from balcony before going back to his office

-Wilson enters with his shirt unbuttoned and a few bruises on his neck, declaring, “the Jedi is gay. I win.”

-House holds up a paternity test, “he’s bisexual, it’s a draw”

[chicago-geniza]

@exteenpopstar

[theothin]

#love the implication that house is force sensitive and decided to become a dark side user for medical malpractice reasons (via @gravity-loves-me)

[that-gay-jedi]

I’m HOWLING this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read

[istiz]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

This fic has been five years in the making. Three years ago I fell into a depression pit from which there felt like no escape and left this fic 80% complete but essentially abandoned. One year ago I managed to drag myself out again and write the penultimate chapter. Then, my muse said GO WRITE TED LASSO FIC INSTEAD and it wasn’t until today that I was able to finally finish the last chapter. I am so proud of myself for the growth I’ve made and how I didn’t let this fall into obscurity. It feels good to write a satisfying conclusion to something I poured so much of myself into. NOW GO READ IT!

____________________________________________

Chapters: 16/16 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Harry Potter/Charlie Weasley, Ron Weasley/Original Female Character(s), Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley Characters: Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Ron Weasley, Molly Weasley, Ginny Weasley, George Weasley, Original Male Character(s), Original Female Character(s), Charlie Weasley, Rubeus Hagrid, Minerva McGonagall, Poppy Pomfrey, Filius Flitwick, Aurora Sinistra Additional Tags: Auror Harry Potter, Amnesia, Major Character Injury, Injury Recovery, Amputation, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-War, Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, Hogwarts, Underage Kissing Summary:

Harry wakes up from a horrific on-the-job injury with no recollection of what happened. While anxious to begin his recovery, he finds it's a long road to feeling like yourself again. And it's even more difficult when he can't remember what that is.

[istiz]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

The final chapter is live! I’m sad to be saying goodbye to this world, but I had so much fun playing around in it and I hope you enjoy reading it :)

[kvetchinglyneurotic]

Ted Lasso locker room layout

Season 1

Left from entrance, facing the office: 4 Winchester, 15 Dawkins, 12 Hughes 24 Obisanya, *18 Bockronde/81 Zoreaux, **9 Tartt/14 Rojas, 8 Montlaur, 7 Kukoċ, 6 Kent, 5 McAdoo [showers] 3 Canterbury, 2 Dixon [office] 1 O'Brien, 22 De Maat [corner] 23 Snape, 27 Shannon [boot room] 16 Roberts, 17 Goodman, 47 Robbie, 19 Cockburn, 20 Reynolds, 21 Bumbercatch, 25 Alexander, 33 Rosenfeldt, 31 Garron, 28 McCracken

*Zoreaux gets this locker in 1x07

**Jamie leaves/Dani gets this locker in 1x07

Season 2

Left from entrance, facing the office: 16 Roberts, 81 Zoreaux, 14 Rojas, 13 Maas, 12 Hughes, 8 Montlaur, 5 McAdoo, 4 Winchester, 24 Obisanya, 2 Dixon [showers] 23 Sagredo, 18 Babtunde [office] 1 O'Brien, *9 Tartt [corner] 25 Bekoe, 22 De Maat [boot room] 17 Goodman, 3 Canterbury, 19 Cockburn, 7 Kuckoċ, 20 Reynolds, 21 Bumbercatch, 15 Dawkins, 28 McCracken, 27 Shannon, 33 Rosenfeldt

*vacant until Jamie gets the locker in 2x03

Season 3 Episodes 1-2

Left from entrance, facing the office: 16 Roberts, 28 Barghava, 14 Rojas, 13 Maas, 12 Hughes, 8 Montlaur, 5 McAdoo, 4 Winchester, 24 Obisanya, 2 Dixon [showers] vacant, vacant [office] 18 Babatunde, 9 Tartt [corner] 25 Bekoe, 22 De Maat [boot room] 17 Goodman, 3 Canterbury, 19 Cockburn, 7 Kukoċ, 20 Reynolds, 21 Bumbercatch, 33 Rosenfeldt, 81 Zoreaux, 1 O'Brien, 26 Garvey

Season 3 Episodes 3-5

Left from entrance, facing the office: 16 Roberts, 28 Barghava, 14 Rojas, 13 Maas, 12 Hughes, 8 Montlaur, 5 McAdoo, 24 Obisanya, 2 Dixon [showers] 17 Goodman, 18 Babatunde [office] 10 Zava, 10 Zava [corners] 10 Zava, 10 Zava [boot room] 9 Tartt, 3 Canterbury, 19 Cockburn, 7 Kukoċ, 20 Reynolds, 21 Bumbercatch, 33 Rosenfeldt, 81 Zoreaux, 1 O'Brien, 26 Garvey

*De Maat and Bekoe don't have lockers during this period

Season 3 Episodes 6-12

Left from entrance, facing the office: 16 Roberts, 28 Barghava, 14 Rojas, 13 Maas, 12 Hughes, 8 Montlaur, 5 McAdoo, 4 Winchester, 24 Obisanya, 2 Dixon [showers] *vacant, **vacant [office] 1 O'Brien, 22 De Maat [corner] 18 Babatunde, 25 Bekoe [boot room] 9 Tartt, 3 Canterbury, 19 Cockburn, 7 Kukoċ, 20 Reynolds, 21 Bumbercatch, 33 Rosenfeldt, 81 Zoreaux, 17 Goodman, ***26 Garvey

*18 Babatunde but ONLY in 3x11 (he still has his locker listed above in this episode — he's just in there twice)

**23 (name indistinguishable) but ONLY in 3x11

***28 McCracken but ONLY in a handful of scenes in 3x12 (the rest of the time it's still 26 Garvey. 28 Barghava also still has his usual locker)

EDIT: forgot to delete the treatment tables post-season 1 🥲

[istiz]

in 2024 let’s stop saying people are “starting a family” when we mean “having kids”

people in a relationship with no kids still have a family

a single person still has a family

your family does not begin and end with having children - it doesn’t even begin and end with being related - so let’s just say what we mean and stop the unknowingly demeaning people without kids

[istiz]

i know it’s already been said but the bear is not a comedy and neither is barry

abbot elementary is a comedy

ted lasso is a comedy

[istiz]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Ted Lasso (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: AFC Richmond Players & Roy Kent Characters: Roy Kent, Coach Beard (Ted Lasso), AFC Richmond Players (Ted Lasso) Additional Tags: Post-Season/Series 03, FA Cup, Wrexham Summary:

Roy has to deal with the aftermath of Richmond getting knocked out of the FA Cup.

[asteria-argo]

I love when I get my little “you’ve got kudos” email at the end of the day, and I can see who read one of my fics and then immediately went to my profile and devoured every other thing I’ve ever posted. I am giving you all a little kiss on the forehead you’re so real for that

[istiz]

I was tagged by @jamietarttdodododododo to do a pic from picrew

tagging @youwillfindilluminating and @ishipallthings if you’re feeling it

[gorgggigka]

I’m obsessed with this trio

[istiz]

I love this so much @gorgggigka

[istiz]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Want to read a sad thing I wrote?

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Ted Lasso (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Coach Beard & Ted Lasso, Roy Kent & Jamie Tartt Characters: Coach Beard (Ted Lasso), Roy Kent, Jamie Tartt Additional Tags: Post-Finale, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Sad, but hopeful in its own way Summary:

Even though it was his choice to stay behind, Beard is coping with the aftermath of his best friend leaving. Roy and Jamie are there. To help? Maybe not. But he's grateful regardless.

[dadstielkline]

wow, they really thought of everything

[jamiesfootball]

What are your thoughts on Ted? Is it good he went home?

These are two separate answers but I'm gonna try to combine them into one thought bubble (bear with me).

My short answer regarding Ted's ending is that you can't create a fully fleshed out character for 2-3 seasons and then in the final hour decide he was Mary Poppins all along. The Mary Poppins is meant to be strange, not-quite of normal ilk. She's the static character who leads the change in others, the one who inspires. You don't usually see the inner thoughts and workings of a static character.

From the very first time the audience meets Ted, we understand that this is not a static character because he is literally one of our starting POVs. We see his uncertainty about flying across the globe to go teach a sport he doesn't understand. We see him turning to Beard for reassurance. We see him stick his hand out where it isn't wanted while he tries to find common ground with people in a new country. We see the beginnings of a panic attack at the press conference.

That is is episode one. He is not a static character. He is not a strange and unusual person impossible to understand. He is inspiring, yes, but that is because of his humanity- his kindness.

He is not a Mary Poppins.

Ted is at his most interesting when he is a complicated, struggling, but ultimately kind man who tries his best to show genuine empathy and compassion towards others. The fact that this same trait doubles as a flaw is equally intriguing.

Ted can reassure Sam that Jamie won't be coming back, or Ted can reach out to Jamie when he's struggling and ask him to come back. Both are acts of kindness. He can not do both.

Ted can show Rebecca empathy and understanding for her trying to sabotage Richmond, but it ties his hands on being honest to Jamie about why he was sent away in the first place.

In trying to balance kindness, Ted struggles to be direct. He struggles to come right out and tell people how he's feeling about situations. Despite encouraging other people to talk about their feelings, he dances around his own and avoids awkward confrontations. I think that is the flaw that Ted most needed to explore. At the same time, I hesitate to say he could have learned too much given how he was struggling to process his own trauma with his dad and how it effected his relationships with those around him. (Put a pin here, I'll be back for it in a later.)

Pivoting back to Ted's purpose in the narrative, unfortunately as the show ran through season three, it became too near-sighted on The Message and in turn lost sight of making sure the characters had fulfilling interactions with each other. This especially becomes apparent when it comes to Ted, whose motto in season one is 'be curious not judgemental.' I maintain that season three was a low point for Ted emotionally, and if I were to assign a reason in-universe as to why Ted seemed so off from his usual self, it would be that in his depression, he no longer had the energy to realize he wasn't being curious. One indication of this would be how many times Ted casts assumptions on people in season three, compared to his hey-do-you-think conversational openers from earlier seasons. Some examples would include:

-never trying to figure out what makes Zava tick (this is a big one to me. I think season one Ted would have been all over trying to crack Zava like a nut)

-assuming he already knows why Jamie is upset about Zava joining the team and brushing it off

-assuming that Dr Jacob would propose + assuming that Michelle would say yes instead of trying to ferret out whether

-his assumptions about Henry being bullied (the knee-jerk reaction as a parent to protect your kid is understandable, the lack of delving into the situation and why it happened are more what I mean here)

-his whole conversation with Jamie about his dad. Other people in more succinct words have pointed out how it feels like he fully projected what he needed to hear onto Jamie's situation, and I think that's fairly accurate. This was not a 'talk to me and tell me what's going on so I can better understand how i need to help you' conversation. This was a 'oh that's whats going on? how about you do this? that work? alright then' talk.

So the finale struts back around and Ted has made a decision. He's going home. And it's meant to feel like closure. They play the Cat Stevens song and it's supposed to feel like Ted has finally made a step in the right direction (which is certainly one take on those lyrics but I digress). He's going back home. He's going to be with his son. He's letting go of the damage his father leaving did to him. He's giving up on something and he's finally okay with that. He left Richmond better than he found it and that's what matters.

Everyone else can cry but he's not crying. He's finally with Henry again.

So here's my two cents. And this is definitely just my opinion but-

THAT'S FUCKING STUPID.

Because the only way that Henry OR Richmond exists is in a false dichotomy wherein the two cannot possibly coincide, despite the fact that there are MANY KIDS' SHOWS ABOUT CHILDREN MOVING TO NEW LOCATIONS EVEN NEW COUNTRIES because that is a NORMAL THING THAT HAPPENS IN THE NORMAL WORLD ALL THE TIME.

Like holy shit that is. That is just the plot of a Disney channel show. 'My dad the football coach moved to england to coach the other football.' That is just the plot of a Disney channel original movie with a $300 budget that magically gets a sequel. Is that what I'm supposed to say 'oh no, that could never happen' over? Because I"m already watching a TV show. You can put a show in another show- I'm fine with that.

Remember that pin above? Time to pull it out. Because you know what would have been a more narratively satisfying conclusion?

If Ted had actually asked Henry and Michelle if they'd liked to move to London to be closer to him. If he had actually expressed his fucking need to have both his Kansas family and his Richmond family close to him. Maybe they would have said no, maybe they would have said yes, but you know what? It would have at least opened the door to the discussion about what Ted might need as a person moving forward, whichever way the chips fell. At least he would have done the one thing we didn't see him do all show:

Ask for something for himself. Because he wants it. Not for the good of his family, or the team, or anyone else. Just for Ted.

I am not saying his son isn't the most important thing in his life. I am saying as a goddamn adult person, you can NOT mold your life around your kids. You can't. Full stop. It is not healthy. You put your kid's needs above your own, but as a parent your needs have to come second. You have to take care of your own emotional health so that you have the bandwidth to give them support. You have to set the example of what healthy boundaries and taking care of yourself looks like.

Could Ted make new social connections back in Kansas? Well that's the thing isn't it- season one Ted could have. Easily. Season three Ted? The one who's checked out and looks tired all the time and isn't even following his own motto anymore and didn't even cry like he'd miss his friends when he was leaving? I'm not sure about that Ted. I'm worried about that Ted. I'm worried he's going to put himself in a situation where for the next 9 years of his life his only priority is going to be keeping Henry happy by giving Henry the attention he never got from his own father. And after that? Henry's an adult. Henry has to go live his own life.

And Henry's going to be able to tell, by the way, if his dad is struggling. Whatever Ted's emotional health is like, Henry is going to pick up on it. This isn't a one way road. Kids notice.

Ted untangled himself enough to admit that what he wants is to be close to Henry. I commend that. But then he decided that there was only one way to do that, and he didn't look any further than that. The narrative didn't look any further than that. For a show that itself raises the topic of mental health, it feels tone-deaf to pretend that Ted moving away from his entire support group is a happy ending. He doesn't even have Beard!

So to summarize: what do I think about Ted? I think he's a fascinating character. I think he has a genuine kindness to him that is rare. I think he is flawed, and a little bent up on the inside, and he's got a lot of issues to work through. And I think the show did him a disservice by painting him going back to Kansas as a sign that everything was going to be okay.

[transpeterparkcr]

it kills me that jamie never found out ted didn't give him back to man city or want him to leave. that he didn't find out ted stormed up to rebecca's office and wanted him back. that he wasn't some disappointment. and sure at the end of the show he knows richmond wants him there, but he doesn't know that they always did. kills me.

[istiz]

I’ve written it in a couple of fics just in passing, but I took the time to write it out LIKE IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN if the show gave a fuck.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49900930