[itsanamhere]

Detoxing

I'm loving you & keep losing you in every possible way

I'm having you while thinking about how to keep myself away

I'm holding you so tight while I know you've already gone

You're playing but on emulator kid, the controller is I'm on

All the places I've been with you, I thought your heart was one of them

Ruby on your finger though, baby you lost a real gem

Well, it's high time to get rid of.. Don't you think so?

My insecurities are yelling at me, telling me to let you go!

[itsanamhere]

Him & I

Talkin' pubg he revive me

Problems? He side me

On mondays he hype me

Such caring like he wife me!

I'mma crazy she drive me

Conversations? She vibe me

Broke? She thrive me

I've been so dead she life me!

[itsanamhere]

Hey Future, Cheers To Our 21st !

03, February 2019 04:25am

Buddy, this is me your past, who has recently completed our 21st and I'm here to remind you, Congratulations, we have survived ! Here at the end of this very first year, one thing I really understand that our 20's has some really serious shits to teach us. Lemme tell you some lessons of this year..

Go big and then come home, both important, there ain't any choice in between.

If all ain't well, just try to end well 'cause at the end all you need to left with is peace not grudges.

Get up, dress up, show up is all cool but mysteries and privacy has its own worth, keep it worthy.

Let'em chase diamond. If you, yourself worthy enough you don't need to ornament your self anyway.

Commitment, stability and all is the matter of time, which is changing every second. Everything in your life has its own time period, recognize it.

Being loved is easy, to love something takes courage. Choose to be brave.

Buddy, I'm learning a lot with this passing time to give you more lessons. But somewhere I'm still stuck between forgiving you from bad memories and giving you some more experiences. Right now I'm really bad at moving on, I hope you're good at this now. I'm fighting through a lot of chaos to fulfill our dreams, just be a little patient with me. Just remember one thing, I love you more than myself and I promise, I won't let you down ever. I know sweetheart, the world is throwing a lot on you and that's because I'm breaking myself everyday a little more apart, to make sure you're strong enough to handle everything by your own. Just remember one thing you deserve a way more lot than I ever have, don't ever settle for any less. You're worthy and you know it.

Love,

Your struggling fellow :)

[itsanamhere]

Let's Love

I loved and I lost, between right and wrong

I felt to the fragile but it feels still strong

I didn't fall in the beginning, still not sure to make it to the end

I maybe never started because I'm too afraid of the end

I wanted to have a clear infront, to stay blurry in that mind

I was loud in there but the silence in between really worked kind

I was obsessed for a long, it taught me to be more patient

I want to have that all, I'm just running out of confrontation

I wanna live us as we long, between possibilities and heights

I don't mean eternity, let's love, as long as it feels right.

[itsanamhere]

Cursed & Blessed

I'm tried of being strong, I can't take it anymore

Some parts are badly broke now after breaking through the core

Are they meant to be broke or I fail to fix them I don't know

But some parts are still screaming inside

Baby you're strong and we trying to let you know

You wrap your whole life around few people and trust them with a blind fold

They too ditch you at some point and show you the side of them that's still cold

The one who gave you birth, the one who is there since you took a birth

And you know you can't be naked with them 'cause they also gonna hurt

There you be the strongest 'cause you still surviving as they dream

Still a little piece of you die everyday and you scream !

[itsanamhere]

Love Drunk

You were like a glass of wine, I was only promise to a lemonade

I'm love drunk now on a single sip, damn.. Why this world is looking so fade ?

My head is in cloud, I think it's cloud nine

Now here wisper all of that on my lips, I wanna taste again that wine

All this songs lyrics has never felt so right before you

My wispering dreams, my screaming heart beats all now feels more like you

You're all my heart use to ever talk about

Is it your love Or some kinda drug, I'm always high when you're around

And since after then it wasn't you inside you, everytime it was me I have found !

[itsanamhere]

Have you ever..?

Have you ever thought with how many emotions will you die ?

Will it be..

Regret that you have never take that chance?

Love which you have never shown?

Hope those you wanna keep few more years?

Fear that has stopped you till you're no more?

Frustation that it's too late & you can't do anything anymore?

Pain that you have kept so much so long just to loose one day?

Or.. Realization that the chase has just end up taking your whole life from you?

[itsanamhere]

Halloween Eve

Brought up with the fairy tales

She was waiting for the angel

He was the devil

Finding some place to sort out his tangles

She welcomed him

For the good deed

But all he wanted from her

Is her body to feed

Can you share it with me, he asked

I need it the most

Half-witch, half-mortal

Now she is the host

She often visits that night they met

The only thing to know

What she suppose to do everytime

Haunted by his ghost !

[itsanamhere]

Chapter : Me (in your story)

I believe every one in this world has their own story in their on book with so many different chapters. So whoever is reading the chapter 'me'.. I just wanna tell them, maybe this chapter has a lot of weird vocabulary, detached tone, 'rebel for no reason' kinda storyline with unapologetic wit and sarcasm but I assure you as you get near to the end of the chapter you will realize that this chapter in your story was not just meant for reading but a lot more.. It is there to steal a lot from you, As you read ahead you will get to know that every page of this chapter is keeping a lot of you than 'me' with them.. And at the end of the chapter the only question left will be.. How ? And the chapter will end only with this question. And at the very end of the chapter the moral you find will only be in one sentence..

"I will never let you forget me"!

[itsanamhere]

" Be addictive and they will choose you even if it will meant for temporary bliss because maybe somewhere inside we all knows the word 'permanent' itself is an illusion "

[itsanamhere]

Somewhere..

Stealing kisses at red lights

Hunger and purple skies

Running on caffeine to cloud nine

From sharing all of your secrets to being one of mine !

[itsanamhere]

Old School

I still don't know is that you who is waiting for me..

But, can we talk like we ain't never let go?

Can we sit on rooftop and pretend like the night has so many secrets to share?

Can we pretend like we're in 80's writing letters to each other?

Can we forget about this twenty-something's camera phones and capture ourselves in that old manner Polaroids?

Can we forget about this cyber culture and go back to 'down on knees with single rose' things again?

Can we...?

[itsanamhere]

Chaotic Me

Sometimes I think just be yourself and let the world see who you really are

Then I think just fool their selves cause do you really know who you really are ?

Sometimes I think let's face it, except it, understand the things

Then I think 'Nah! My version of things are much prettier and that should be sing'

Some days I want to be the person most realistic ever

And the same nights I wanna be high cause I can not handle this 'being realistic fever'

Sometimes I think let the things be in their own way and stay quiet

Then I think No, I can explain the things so why should I be quiet ?

And like this everyday I play with myself so many quiz

And everyday there is one thing remains, Is it okay to be like this ?

[itsanamhere]

Unhealed

Every time she cries, she knows

They aren't healed yet, they still bleeding

Sucking on her fragile heart

Some parts she is still feeding.

[itsanamhere]

I always wanted to have a superpower to read people's mind,I still eagerly do that,I still use to be very curious to know what's in that person's mind and I always tell people to speak their mind.Because this is me,That's the way I'm,whatever is in me it's in my mind,anybody who can read or understand or who can control my mind can control me,can have me very easily. But the fact that I forgot is not everyone in this world is me. Some people have more beautiful heart than their mind,they have much more in their heart than in their mind. But as a 'wanna be mind reader' I stupidly straggle with their mind and try to find things which ain't their and when I don't find or get those things there, I start to believe that they don't have those thing in them without realising that there are much more than what I'm looking for, just not there where I'm searching them,it is somewhere else,it is in their beautiful heart,and to get those things,to understand the language of their beautiful heart I must have one which I lack! I simply forgot that Not every time you have to Understand, Some times you just have to Embrace.

[itsanamhere]

" Let there be spaces in your togetherness "

–Khalil Gibran

[late-nights-and-daydreams]

“Some nights, when all the lights in the city fall asleep, when all the plane crashes and heart breaks go on in loops, i get high enough to believe that love is enough.”

— @ayeshasyedaa