Three Goblin Art
titsay
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macklin celebrini has autism
⁂
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Stranger Things
todays bird
shark vs the universe
Cosmic Funnies
Love Begins
izzy's playlists!
oozey mess
Claire Keane
will byers stan first human second
occasionally subtle
tannertan36
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
h
pixel skylines
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@itthemthey-blog
Oh shit. No. Shit. Thank you
Just gonna reblog this out of gratitude because I actually did forget…
Shit same, thanks cartoon prescription
A reminder for you to take your meds if you forgot to take them.
Taking care of oneself is a mitzvah.
Good morning friendly reminder =)
me: huh, I haven't had an intrusive though all day. I must be getting....
intrusive thought: hello
intrusive thought: it's me
What they don’t tell you: Self care sometimes isn’t fun. It’s going to class even when you want to stay in bed and rest. It’s paying bills on time and running errands even when every strand of your being cant stand it. It’s going to therapy and taking your medicine even when you don’t want to. It’s using coping skills even when going back to self destructive ones seems more appealing.
Recovering sucks. It’s hard. But you have to believe in the light at the end of the tunnel. And even on those days you don’t, you fake it till you make it.
Recovery is still worth it.
It’s like… physically painful to look at my college transcripts. Because you can see I was doing so well and then suddenly I flunked out of three classes. Ive never gotten less than a B my entire life and I flunked a beginning psych class and I don’t know how. I have a standing 2.8, the lowest I have ever had on any report or transcript in my entire life.
That’s what mental illness took from me.
I don’t care that it’s hurt me or my ability to hold relationships or my passion for my hobbies or my ability to maintain enough focus to read for more than five minutes or that it ruined my ability to enjoy anything in my life.
The one thing I had was being a perfect student and it took that.
I’m going back to school tomorrow and I’m so afraid because I only have 10 credits, it should be easy, but at any moment, no matter how good I’m feeling, the next second I can be physically unable to do anything and I don’t know how I’m supposed to survive this.
What if it happens again. The semester I flunked I don’t remember any of it. I remember one day I just stopped going to those classes. And I can’t tell you when I did it or why I just know I did.
What if I start doing it and I don’t realize it because I’m back in that horrifying empty place.
It's like... physically painful to look at my college transcripts. Because you can see I was doing so well and then suddenly I flunked out of three classes. Ive never gotten less than a B my entire life and I flunked a beginning psych class and I don't know how. I have a standing 2.8, the lowest I have ever had on any report or transcript in my entire life. That's what mental illness took from me. I don't care that it's hurt me or my ability to hold relationships or my passion for my hobbies or my ability to maintain enough focus to read for more than five minutes or that it ruined my ability to enjoy anything in my life. The one thing I had was being a perfect student and it took that.
So one thing I spoke about with my therapist today is the fear of recovery.
Like, there’s this expectation that mentally ill people WANT to “recover” from their illness. That they want happy, healthy lives, that they want to be like “normal” people.
But that’s not always the case. At least, not emotionally. Logically, I know that I want to have a normal life. But emotionally? That’s freaking terrifying.
To me, right now in the middle of this depressive episode, I don’t want to get better. Getting better involves work, getting better involves facing my fears, it involves conforming to these societal standards that I care less and less about each day. Often there is this little voice in the back of my mind that just says… “Don’t get better. What other people think doesn’t matter. Just stay sad. Just stay in bed. This is easy for you. This is what you’re used to. This is your status quo. Why change?”
So I just want to let other mentally ill people who sometimes feel this way, I understand. You’re allowed to have days where you don’t want to get better. That doesn’t make you a “bad” mentally ill person or lazy or anything else. You and your illness are still 100% completely valid.
Okay I want to add to this, because I’ve seen people mention it in the tags and because it’s something I myself feel, is that a lot of the time this feeling of “I don’t want to get better” comes from a fear that you’re faking your illness.
There is this huge attitude in non-mentally ill people where they don’t tend to take these illnesses seriously because they don’t see actual evidence. Therefore often people will mental illnesses begin to feel like, “I have to be bad, I have to show this” to prove to the world, and themselves, that their disorder is real.
So once again, if mentally ill people are reading this, you don’t have to prove your disorder to everyone. If you’re “functioning” or “recovered” or just in a good stage, that does not mean your illness doesn’t exist or that you were faking it.
<3
About Executive Dysfunction; for neurotypical people
Friends, family members and loved ones of learning disabled and mentally ill people need to have a working knowledge of what Executive Dysfunction is, and respect the fact that it is a prominent feature of that person’s psychology and life.
Executive Dysfunction is best known as a symptom of autism and ADHD, but it also features in depression, anxiety disorders schizophrenia, OCD (which by the way is also an anxiety disorder), personality disorders; etc, a whole myriad of mental illnesses and disabilities can result in executive dysfunction.
Years ago when I was like 14 and had recently learned of my autism diagnosis, I watched a youtube interview between autistic people, and an autistic woman said something along these lines:
“Sometimes, a lightbulb will burn out, but I cannot change it. I have the physical capability to change the lightbulb, and I want to change the lightbulb, and I know I need to do it, but because of my autism I just don’t do it. So the lightbulb remains unchanged for weeks. Sometimes people have to change the lightbulb for me.”
When she said that I related so much, because constantly throughout my whole life I have wanted and needed to do things with my wanting and needing being akin to my spurring an extremely stubborn horse who refuses to move. For the first time I learned that I wasn’t just “lazy”, I had a condition that prevented me from doing things as easily as other people can, but unfortunately it took me years since then to understand that.
Imagine that you are a horserider, but your horse is entirely unwilling to move even if you want to move. You dig in your heels, you raise the reins, but the horse refuses to respond. Your wants and needs are the rider, and your executive functions (the parts of your mind responsible for getting things done) are the horse.
I think it’s incredibly dangerous for neurotypical loved ones to not understand, or be aware of, or respect executive dysfunction. Neurotypical can assume that we are just being lazy, careless, selfish or difficult, when in reality we want to do the thing but our brains prevent us from consistently and reliably doing the thing. That misinterpretation can lead to toxic behavior and resentment on the part of the loved one, which will harm us emotionally and do us a lot of damage gradually over time. That damage can take the form of internal self-criticism, complicating executive dysfunction even further and making it worse.
edited for easier reading!
As someone with depression, what are some tips to help with “getting the horse to move” so to speak? Cause trying to do it like other people won’t kick it into gear, but what would work for someone like me?
I’m just curious to hear other people’s thoughts.
The neatest advice I heard was essentially to be patient with the dysfunctional part of yourself, to ask yourself “am I ready to do this?” “when will I be ready to do this?” and so forth, and if you’re not ready yet, that’s okay. I haven’t practiced it very well yet but it sounds like a much better approach than forcing yourself imo. And it happens to work with the horse metaphor lol.
In other words, don’t force the horse to move, be patient with the horse and it’ll be more likely to work with you.
I’ve read some tips about procrastination that might or might not help, take with a grain of salt, your mileage may vary, etc, etc.
First of all, beating yourself up about not being able to do the thing is super unhelpful. It’s totally normal and common to feel shitty about not having done the thing already, but the more you beat yourself up, the more you train yourself to feel shitty when you try to do things, and the less you do things, and the more you feel shitty and that cycle sucks a whole lot.
Instead, if you possibly can, tell your jerkbrain that you’re doing the best you can and that you’re allowed to make mistakes. Nobody does everything perfectly all the time, you are allowed to mess up. You are allowed to have a shitty day and try again tomorrow.
It can also help to break down the thing you’re trying to do into teeny tiny little pieces. Let’s say you lent a friend some books, they brought them back in a bag, and now the bag is sitting by your door and you need to put the books away on a shelf in the living room. Maybe putting the books all away all at once is totally overwhelming. That’s okay! Maybe you can handle moving the bag of books over by the shelf and leaving it there for now. Maybe you can only handle moving the bag into the living room. Maybe it’s a bad day and all you can do is move the bag an inch closer to the living room.
Sometimes having a time limit helps too. I have trouble getting started when I don’t know how long something is going to take, it’s really frustrating for me to sit down and tell myself I’m going to finish the thing, then I work and work and work and it’s still not done and I feel like a failure.
Instead, set a timer for a short period of time and only work until it goes off. And seriously, set the timer for a really short time. Really short! Shorter! If you’re having a shitty day, literally set that timer for a single minute and just do the tiniest bit of setup for the thing you need to do. If you need to study, maybe that’s getting your book out of your backpack and putting it on your desk. That’s progress! Take a break, then give yourself another minute or two of work where you open your book and find the page you left off at. Take another break, then read for a few minutes. Sure it’s slow, but it’s okay to be slow! It’s better to get a little bit done than nothing at all, and you’re training yourself that doing a little bit of work isn’t scary and awful.
quick reminder to all of you who take prescribed antidepressants, antianxolants, etc. Please, please, stay cool this summer. It is incredibly important that you remain hydrated and in the shade as much as possible to avoid overheating. Your meds can increase your body temperature. If you feel faint, get inside, lie down, and drink a glass of ice water. Your body is a lovely muffin that’s at that perfect stage of golden brown. DO NOT cook yourself.
Wait. Antidepressants can make you overheat more quickly??? This makes so much sense, wow..
Yes, they can!
also if you take any ADD/ADHD meds like adderall or vyvanse remember to drink a lot because those meds are pretty dehydrating!
me: why do i mysteriously feel like crap and keep wasting time doing nothing?
brain: you have depression
me: no that cant be it, it has to be something i did
positive bpd post
-we never let any act of kindness go unappreciated
-we go to great lengths to make our loved ones happy
-we are good people to vent to bc we understand a lot of stuff
-we will always make you feel wanted and loved and needed
-we always give back
-we would never intentionally hurt someone we love
-we do what we can to protect ourselves
-we know how to validate
-we dont see any flaws in some people
-we love unconditionally
i love myself but i dont love me back
ok with everything going on i have to know. how do you pronounce pokemon?
po-kay-mon (kay rhymes with slay, day, etc)
po-kuh-mon (kuh rhymes with duh, uh, etc)
po-key-mon (key rhymes with see, tree, etc)
reblog with the way you say it in the tags!!
Im having an existential crisis because upon further examination I use all of these at different times
Who am I
friend: i hate myself
me: as a fellow emo i respect ur self hatred but as a friend i don't want you to feel that way
Stop wondering why they didn’t want you.
Stop telling yourself that you were a burden or that you were too distant or too sad or too needy. Because one day, someone will love you for your “too much”s and “not enough”s.
And one day, you will love yourself for these things.
