✨✨✨Aesthetically dead inside ✨✨✨

[grabmyboner]

to go to sleep my husband puts on YouTube videos of this random guy trying to survive in nature and build things out of his surroundings and that’s so shane coded shane puts that shit on and he’s so intrigued and Ilya has to be like no more baby it’s time to sleep and shane is like But I have to know how to build a tent out of logs and branches in case I am stranded in the woods but he’s like falling asleep saying it and Ilya is like sure baby whatever you say and just kisses him on the forehead and turns the tv off cause shane is already unconscious

[4me2knowandyou2wonder]

Walk with me here. The centaurs are at a club Ilya is dancing on Shane.

Shane is pulling this dance move called Wall. Where he stands there and looks like he’d rather kill someone than be in this club.

Harris, noticing, and feeling bad for both—Ilya who is saddled with a less than enthusiastic dance partner, and Shane who is currently being harassed by his tipsy boyfriend—calls Ilya over to dance with him and Troy.

Ilya, used to being dragged around by his friends at parties, moves without hesitation.

And Brick Wall Shane Hollander shoots his hand out and clamps Ilya’s arm in a vice grip.

His man is dancing on him. His man is not going anywhere.

[butimaficwriter]

'get your own hot slutty russian man, this one is FOR ME'

[grabmyboner]

[bugslibraryy]

Ok hi Shane and Ilya get in a FIGHT ok like capital letters fight ! Ilya is pissed OFF Shane is grumpy and they both say some things they do not mean. Ilya is going off at Shane and Shane feels attacked because he was just trying to communicate and then Ilya got all pissy and all stupid and petty and they bitch at each other. Ilya snaps a cheap shot back at Shane and then Shane just goes shut off mode. He’s like fine. Walks away, silence. Silent treatment for hours. They don’t eat dinner together- Ilya makes a show of leaving to get McDonalds and Shane passive aggressively makes rice and reheats chicken and Shane spends an hour in the gym while Ilya goes for a run. Ilya uses the guest room bathroom and Shane goes up to bed before it even hits 8pm, early even for him.

Shane is in bed and he’s 😠 and he’s laying there reading his book with a frown and his jaw grit and it goes 9, then 10 and then Shane is shutting off the light and pulling up the covers and closing his eyes. He feels nowhere close to sleep even- running in his head over and over and over their fight and maybe he over reacted and he’s not even sure he’s that made anymore but he’d hated Ilyas reaction and now he’s pissed off because whatever he hates that he’s thinking about the classic things he’s always heard of never go to bed angry and there they are and Shane is going to bed angry and he doesn’t even know if Ilya is coming to bed and he’s getting that horrible anxious curling in his chest- and then the bedroom door clicks open. Ilya is quiet when he sees it’s dark inside. Shane lies there and listens to Ilya shuffle around in the dark getting ready for bed and his chest aches and he’s happy Ilya’s coming to bed and upset they haven’t spoken and his mind is a little storm storm storm.

Then Ilyas pulling back the covers and sliding into bed and Shane can feel the heat of him behind him and he doesn’t want Ilya to touch him and he desperately wants to fall asleep in Ilyas arms and he had a headache and he fucking hates fighting with Ilya and he’s anxious and wants to talk to Ilya about the anxiety and then, Ilya’s hand is on his side, a tiny gentle brush, hand curling around his hip. And Ilya is whispering “Shane” and Shane’s eyes sting a little and he just lets out a little hum in reply and then Ilya says. “Goodnight kiss?” And Shane’s eyes really sting because Ilya always asks for a goodnight kiss and he wants that too, even if he’s mad- was mad- if they don’t have it all perfect he wants to give Ilya his goodnight kiss, to know he loves him at the end of the day. Of every day even the bad ones.

Shane rolls over and little frown and eyes on ilya and he grumbles “ok. But I’m still mad” and Ilya nods and presses their foreheads together and whispers back “me too” and nudges their noses together. Then Shane kisses him, a soft warm brush of lips. His goodnight kiss. Shane breaks the kiss and pushes his face into Ilya cheek and sighs. “Fight again tomorrow?” Ilya asks, voice soft and small and his hand finding Shane’s, fingers tangling together. And Shane nods, kisses under Ilya’s eye and they fall asleep like that, wrapped together close.

[ilya-sweetheart]

ilya is outside playing with nerf guns against ruby and jade, doing cartwheels, handstands, they’re climbing trees, water balloons appear out of nowhere

meanwhile shane is indoors with arthur arranging his toy trucks in perfect order feeling #blessed

[makingmeblue]

ilya really really really wants a secret door in their ottawa house, not the cottage the one they invite people to, purely bc he was really into spy movies as a kid and thinks it would be really cool. at first shane thinks it’s a stupid waste of money, but for christmas/ilya’s birthday he installs one that goes down to the basement, its like a bookshelf probably maybe it’s in the trophy room idk.

ilya sets up a den down there and it’s all cosy and shane ribs him for it and is like ‘oh you should show the team next time they come over for game night’ and ilya like ‘😒 would not be a secret door then would it kotenok’ so the cens don’t know about the door even though ilya is DYING to show them.

one day they have a gathering at the house and shane starts to get really overstimulated so he goes up to their room but people keep coming to find him and bring him back so eventually he just sighs and is like fine! i’ll use the stupid secret door! fuck it! and he disappears downstairs.

ilya’s like ?? where is husband?? he checks the house and can’t find him, people are asking where he is, and then it hits him and he feels so vindicated “shane thought secret door was stupid, is not so stupid now”.

once he’s efficiently gotten everyone out of the building he goes to find his husband in his cosy lil basement, all tucked up in blankets, having fallen asleep watching a hockey documentary and he carries him up to bed giving him a little kiss on the forehead

[brokentoasterrr]

i have a headcanon that shane is a gamer. he plays legend of zelda on the switch on plane rides and obviously he plays EA NHL but also doom and counterstrike and call of duty. he has a group of online friends he games with during the off season and they have absolutely no idea who shane actually is. they’re just like yeah that’s gingerale24 he joins us for two weeks in the summers, kicks ass and makes sure we win, and then he fucks off again. we don’t know what he does. we think he might be a teacher. or maybe a model? he talked about photo shoots once. no clue though. yeah he takes losing personally. it’s weird.

[brokentoasterrr]

the unhinged follow up to this headcanon is that ilya doesn’t really play video games EXCEPT for animal crossing on shane’s switch.

moya lyubov give me switch i must sell my turnips. capitalist raccoon will not let me expand my house until i pay off my loan and twitter user hayleygriffin has good turnip prices. 597 bells per turnip!!!

he spends a stupid amount of time trying to get every lily color and his favorite villager is apollo.

[smokingrozanov]

The thing is post outing nobody expected Shane to become a capital H Husband. He’s holding open car doors. He’s keeping a hand on the small of Ilya’s back in crowded rooms. He’s carrying all of the grocery bags. On a night out when Ilya’s fancy designer silk shirt is barely keeping him warm Shane is taking off his coat & draping it around Ilya’s shoulders (even though he’s only in a t-shirt and he told Ilya. He told him to bring a coat). Polite robotic Shane Hollander as it turns out is completely whipped & it’s fucking crazy

[butimaficwriter]

I love this idea of Shane being so able to be openly loving and doting on a partner. No one knew Shane Hollander, the Boyfriend, Shane Hollander, the Husband, and it's another part of him that he can show the truth of in public.

It really makes me emotional about how coming out isn't just about people knowing who you love, but how you love, how much love you have to give and how you give it. And that's such an important part of who we are.

Besides this, I get emotional about Ilya being publicly doted on, loved, cared for. It's not just that his family was shit, it's that everyone around him and the public believe in this Ilya Rozanov, Asshole Extraordinare persona. Ilya himself believes it too. But here's Shane Hollander caring for him like he's soft and deserves it, like he's the light of someone's life. And when was the last time Ilya saw himself that way, when's the last time anyone considered Ilya could make someone love him that way?

We see this with the centaurs already in TLG, before Shane joins, they already care so much for Ilya and respect him. They see his goodness. But Shane doing all these things would make it so obvious to the wider public there's so much more about Ilya than what meets the eye.

I am so soft for them.

[shanesholender]

“Is Hayden your mother” so when they’re first hanging out after Hayden figures it out he’s very confused about the way rozanov is calling him Hayden. He’s Pike. He’s always been pike. On the ice off the ice at ceremonies at bars. He’s Pike.

Except Shane’s been talking about him for years to ilya who soaks up every single thing shane says like a desperate sponge so of course he’s not Pike. He’s Hayden. Because to shane, he’s Hayden.

[shanesholender]

end of the hospital scene where it seems like a funny ha-ha joke “you're not gonna smother him with a pillow are you mr rozanov” except it’s a man being taunted with the horrific idea that he’d want to murder the love of his life after watching him be severely injured right in front of him and having to wait until the next day to see him

[sheheatedonmyrivalry]

i think baby shane was scared of his shadow

[ilya-sweetheart]

someone overhears ilya threatening shane with releasing an incriminating photo and the whole league and twitter goes wild because this is blackmail !!

so shane has to post the photo himself to prove that no, boston captain ilya rozanov does not have any evidence or incriminating documents on shane hollander

instead it’s a picture of canadas golden boy hungover eating mcdonald’s for breakfast flipping off the camera wearing a raiders hoodie

[ohariadnes]

shane and ilya play a video game together (1) time after the cottage. it is portal 2. ilya spends the entire time trying to make portals where they absolutely cannot go while shane gets them through the levels. and then when wheatley betrays them ilya threatens to throw the play station into the lake.

[zo1nkss]

silliest shane and/or ilya headcanons for the ask game!

Mmmmm yesss

- Obviously we know Shane doesn't really Do social media but I like to imagine him doing his rounds on twitter one day after he and Ilya are married and stumbles on the wealth of RPF people have been writing about them since years before anyone ever caught wind of their relationship. He proceeds to spend an unreasonable amount of time going through as many entries as he can get his hands on.

But he's not jerking it. No, no. He's making the stinkiest most disgusted face at all of the completely and utterly WRONG ideas their fans have of their love life. He's highlighting sections and taking notes and sending them to Rose to mutually bitch about it, then stomping through the house until he finds Ilya and opening their first conversation of the day with "Can you BELIEVE people think I TOP?!" and shoving the one he's recently discovered in his husbands face.

- Ilya eats jello cups without a spoon. He slurps that shit down in one go. Shane "hates" it. Secretly he is shaking uncontrollably thinking about Exactly what that mouth can do. And he's definitely not blushing.

- Shane has a terrible habbit of falling asleep on the couch and drooling all over the nice throw pillows but Ilya literally can't be bothered to say anything to him about it because its literally so precious. He DOES, however, insist on carrying him to bed.

- After Ilya gets Anya Shane starts yesrning for a little kitty critter so so badly so he gets the most adorable sweet gentle little kitten from the shelter who's like 8 months old and so sweet and then they bring her home and she lays eyes on the dog for all of .5 seconds and immediately morphs into the most angry little creature he's ever laid eyes on in his entire life. She's hissing so hard spit flies. She's growling lower and deeper than Shane even thought possible. She's haunched up on her toes with every stra d of fur standing on end. She's "grow-wow-wow-wow-wow"ing from inside the cat carrier. Ilya is literally in tears struggling for breath because its so fucking funny.

- They share clothes so much that it gets to the point where they don't even know what belongs to who. Where did I get this again? Oh actually that was mine. From before we met. Oh. This thing is so old. Does it even fit anymore? no but its sentimental. okay whatever *throws it back in the drawer*

- Ilya makes the uggliest faces when he works out. Shane's NOT into it. Yeah I said it. Its a huge turnoff. He LOVES watching Ilya work out, but he cannot look at Ilya's face while he does. So he just enjoys the view from behind. Not that he's disappointed.

[northisnotup]

This headcanon is partly inspired by one of the interviews Hudson and Connor did that said that the set designers hated them because they kept accidentally breaking set pieces, but: Shane and Ilya have broken a staggering amount of furniture during sex. Not even just furniture that you can lean/sit/lay on (although for sure all of those types); they are the mortal enemies of all lamps. It doesn't matter how many types Shane tries to position them so they'll be out of the way - if there is a lamp in their vicinity when they get going, it will probably end up broken.

Stars, that's so funny. Esp bc Shane needs those lamps. The autistic hatred of The Big Light is true and we share it, my friend Shane Hollander and me.

The phrase that keeps knocking around in my head is 'like a puppy learning to play'

They rough house all. the. time.

Ilya - yes, ILYA - made a rule about no more play fighting in the kitchen because Shane elbowed a glass off the counter and got cut. Shane agreed to this rule because they got carried away and a tussle turned into grinding against the fridge while the magnets fell over the floor and they accidentally flooded the sink.

[isolabellz]

does tumblr know about pork hollander?

[brownbitchshit]

I think we as a fandom don't talk about enough how Ilya is a lover but Shane is a protector! Like yes they both are Loverboys and carers but Shane is ferally protective of Ilya since day 1.

Ilya couldn’t understand what the reporter is saying, Shane stepped up to answer for him.

He felt something was off with Ilya in Sochi, kept checking up on him.

After Sochi when Shane realized how dangerous Russia is for Ilya, he tried to convince Ilya to not go back by asking if it's safe, if he has to go back.

When Ilya opened up about his father, Shane climbed up on his lap and hugged him. In that entire episode he kept checking up on Ilya to see if he is okay, if everything back home is okay.

When they get to the cottage, Shane is taking his bag, making his food, making sure he is taken care of. When Ilya talks about the danger of having a Russian passport and marrying Svetlana, Shane is the one who stays up all night to make them 10 years plan.

When his mom questions Ilya's loyalty to Boston Shane defends him.

This isnt the end. In TLG, Shane defends Ilya to Hayden and JJ.

When the near plane crash happens Shane proposes to show Ilya that he is 100% sure about them.

Most importantly when the Commissioner threatens Ilya and Shane to destroy their career, Shane snaps and says he chooses Ilya.

Shane is constantly making sure of Ilya's wellbeing, planning things for him, defending and choosing him everytime. Ilya is 100% Shane's baby and Shane is an overprotective mother hen which I think is beautiful.