Stephanie: What type of guys do you prefer?
Bernard: My boyfriend.
Stephanie, to Kon: And what type of guys do you prefer?
Kon: Bernard's boyfriend.
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@j-mmmthoughts
Stephanie: What type of guys do you prefer?
Bernard: My boyfriend.
Stephanie, to Kon: And what type of guys do you prefer?
Kon: Bernard's boyfriend.
Alfred: And is this your same-sex partner?
Tim: Alfred, this is Bernard. He's my roommate.
Alfred: Yes, that's what we called them back in the day.
My mom likes to tell me about how when I was a little kid riding public transport with her I'd always smile and giggle and chat with weird old ladies who smelled like cat pee and homeless folks and strangers dressed in bizarre outfits but any time a tidy and respectable businessman in a suit and tie waved at me I'd immediately clam up, and she takes a great deal of pride in my supposed inherentability to clock personalities but the truth is I do vaguely remember those bus rides, and it was never about the clothes or the hair or the smell, but more because everyone "strange" asked interesting questions and listened to what I had to say and seemed to think about what I said while the neat and tidy and rigid folks only ever acted like they were going through the motions, which was boring as hell and also pretty annoying
Well-to-do finance manager with tidy shoes: "Why hello, sweetheart. Can you say 'hi'? Aren't you cute. Are you on a trip with your mom?"
4 year old me: why must we do this
Fantastic old woman in the leopard print coat: "Why yes, my tooth IS real silver! Nobody ever asks me that. Do you like cats?"
4 year old me, suddenly paying attention: Finally, A Person Of Intellect
Apparently someone got their car stuck on the light rail tracks at Mt. Baker. For those unfamiliar this is 35 feet up in the air
Fun fact! this is likely due to racism. Not the drivers, to be clear, but this is a not-entirely-unsurprising result of systemic racism in the greater Seattle area and the influence it has on infrastructure spending.
I'm a huge proponent of public transit, rail in specific, and I'm very glad that the greater Seattle area is finally starting to see some solid light rail infrastructure sprouting up in the form of the 1 and 2 lines, but that in no way stops me from critiquing the decisions made in planning and implementation.
Light Rail, in it's colloquial form here in the US, is basically always a compromise solution. It's cheaper than subways, can make good use of existing right-of-way around freeways, and can function as a kind of low-capacity commuter rail in the subways while behaving more like a tram or streetcar in downtown areas. It is crucially, however, not a streetcar, nor is it a commuter rail. Streetcars make frequent stops and are optimized for dense areas with lots of traffic. Commuter rails are larger and stop lest frequently, optimized for bringing suburban residents into city centers. Commuter rail should, however, be independent of street traffic so it can travel at higher speeds. For this reason, most of the Link light rail system in seattle is actually not at-grade (street level), but on either elevated or sub-grade track. Downtown, the lightrail actually functions as a low-capacity low-frequency subway system in what used to be the bus tunnel (we don't have time, but yes it was stupid). Everywhere else, it's up on elevated tracks that largely follow the freeway system.
There are three stations, all immediately south of that Mount Baker elevated station, where the Link actually runs at-grade. These stations run through the historic low income immigrant neighborhoods of southeast seattle. Here, the trains are forced to stop at red lights, interact with crossing and left-turning traffic, and even cross through terrifyingly narrow pedestrian islands. They could have built elevated track here, as they did everywhere else, but they didn't. they didn't want to spend the money. I have personally watched light rail cars carrying hundreds of people have to wait two full minutes for cars turning left in front of them, delaying trains so like, 5 people could drive there. Once it reaches the end of this low income immigrant-dominant neighborhood, however, the Link returns to it's above-grade status, with Mount Baker being the first elevated stop. You want to know how this woman, who claims she was misdirected by her GPS, probably ended up here? I would bet anything she tried to make a turn at the intersection just before the stop and got confused. The intersection, for reference, looks like this:
I'm not saying it's an easy mistake to make, but given the number of people who drive through here every day, it's honestly not that surprising that someone, especially someone who is from out of town, or someone who is used to shared streetcar lanes, would eventually make this mistake. When you're dealing with a city of hundreds of thousands of people, it's only a matter of time before a mistake like this happens. but it is only possible for it to happen because of the decisions made in the planning process, and one of those decisions was "we can save money if we make everything worse in that part of town where all the foreign poors live", and so they built the thing at-grade, instead of keeping it elevated like everywhere else.
and yes, those tracks are in the middle of a four lane road, and no, there is no way to get to any of the at-grade stations without crossing at least two lanes of traffic on a very busy avenue. and those tiny little pedestrian islands are not only terrifying to walk on, but a man in a wheelchair was clipped by a passing train car a while back because his chair didn't really fit through the tight turns well and one of his feet was sticking slightly out when the train passed by. This is not a problem at like, any other stops in the Link system. Just here. Just in this neighborhood. And it's a fucking disgrace.
[Image ID: An edited screenshot of Korra book 3. Mako and Bolin are sitting around the low table in their grandma's small Ba Sing Se apartment. They are surrounded by a swath of green-clothed relatives. Bolin is eating happily, and Mako sits in silence, looking out of place in the sea of green. A thought bubble above his head reads, "does it ever just hit you that like. YOU'RE the gay cousin." End ID]
In theory this will turn into a full comic but I got...distracted lmao
Beats doing a full character design lineup tho. Farai, Nana, Secunit, and Sofi left to right.
the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be apart of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.
Bruce: You see that reporter of there?
Danny: The one with the glasses?
Bruce: Yes. His name is Clark Kent. He can be trusted.
Danny: Okay. *Writes note down* What about the woman next to him?
Bruce: That's Cat Grant, and no, she can't be trusted. Everything you say to her will turn into a gossip-lifting, life-ruining article.
Danny: Got it. *writes more notes*
Jason, watching the two from a few feet away: Say, who's that kid Bruce is media training? Is he a new ward he took in?
Tim: No, that's Danny Fenton, the face of Fenton Works. They signed up as a sub-company of Wayne Enterprise. Originally, they were a paranormal investigation and capture company- yes, I mean ghost hunters- but it was discovered that almost all thier tech can be used on metas. Bruce wants to make medical equipment that can be used by our enhanced citizens.
Jason: I see. But why a kid so young? He's your age, right?
Tim: Hmm, apparently his parents, the owners of Fenton Works, made him CEO so they could focus on ghost hunting and the occasional meta medical machines for Bruce. He got here a week ago to shadow me for CEO training, and Bruce stole him after they met outside my office. Danny hangs onto his every word, and I think Bruce forgot what it was like to have a kid actually listen to him.
Jason: Ah thats makes sense. What do you think of him?
Tim: Well, he's a little naive, easy to trick, and has way too much empathy for the cold world of business. I'm gonna have him in my bed.
Jason: Ah....well that took a turn. One I do not like so I'm gonna....*walks away*
Tim: He will be ✨️mine✨️
Bruce overhears everything from the bugs he planted on his kids: Danny, go ahead and change Tim's status. He can not be trusted.
Tim, walking into the Batcave and noticing everyone’s distraught appearance: What’s wrong?? Who died??
Stephanie: We have bad news Tim. You should sit down.
Tim: Oh shit did someone actually die?? Who was it this time?
Dick: Remember that civilian that we catch trailing after us every so often? The one who was involved in the Penguin incident awhile ago?
Tim: Oh. Clarissa O’Neal? What about her?
Damian: She was taken hostage by one of Black Masks henchmen. We didn’t make it in time to save her.
Tim: ? And that’s why you guys are so upset? C’mon guys lighten up, it’s movie night
Jason, getting visibly pissed: What the Fuck dude. A civilian we were close to fucking died because we didn’t make it in time
Dick: I know you didn’t like her much but show a bit of empathy Timmy. You usually take these situations seriously
Tim: I’ve been trying to kill her off for ages. Why would I be upset??
Steph: Tim you have 10 seconds to fix your attitude before i fix it for you
Jason: Since when do you take people’s lives so lightly? Dude you need to leave before I do something i regret.
Tim: I didn’t know you guys were so attached to her. I could revive her if you want, but honestly it’s more effort than it’s worth. And she was getting unwanted attention from the rogues so she had to go.
Damian: Revive?? Timothy what are you on about? And why are you saying that like you personally set up her demise?
Tim: Because I did? The planning for it took forever but I have to admit everything went a lot better than I was expecting.
Dick: TIM WHAT—
Jason: WHAT THE HELL—
Damian: MURDER? You?!
Steph, screaming over everyone else: WAIT SHUT UP
Steph: TIM NO YOU DID NOT
Steph: TIM DON’T TELL ME YOU DID IT AGAIN
Dick: Again?!? What are you talking about?!
Steph, laughing: Guys calm down. HE was Clarissa
Tim: You guys didn’t know??
Jason: HOW WERE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT THE HISPANIC LOOKING WOMEN IN HER MID TWENTIES AND A CRIME ALLEY ACCENT WAS YOU
Dick: Tim i am THIS CLOSE to burning down your disguise room.
Damian: Timothy explain yourself
Tim: I had an undercover op that I needed a female field agent for a couple years ago to infiltrate penguins operations. Over time She became a bit too important and Black mask was threatening her. So I decided to kill her off. I got the info I needed already and it was becoming a bit of a drag keeping up appearances
Steph: You need to stop getting us emotionally invested in your aliases and then killing them off. This is the fourth time you did this to me. I’ll never forgive you for Alvin Draper, I still grieve him even though i know you’re alive!
Tim: YOU guys need to start recognizing me in disguise. Worlds greatest detectives MY ASS
Jason: DUDE YOU GAVE YOURSELF DOUBLE D’s WHY WOULD WE ASSUME THAT WAS YOU
Damian: My training in this area has been neglected. Timothy show me your disguise lair
Tim: Sure, after movie night. Let’s go
Dick: This is gonna bite us in the ass. Damian is already so good at impressions. We will never know if someone we are talking to is him or not
Tim: LMAO When i’m done with him? Yea everyone’s fucked
Steph: It’s gonna give Roger from American dad
Bruce from the corner: *Breathes a sigh of relief*
Bruce at the Batcomputer: *Sighs and moves Clarissa O’Neal from ‘Real Civilian Death’ folder to ‘Tim’s Fake Identities’ folder. Creates new folder labeled ‘Damian’s Fake Identities’
when i forget to log into ao3 and i have to click proceed to see an adult fic, i actually get a kick out of it. like i am an old timey queen and my bard is apologetic: “gentle lady, dicks doth touch in this next ballad. would you prefer another?” and i give him a gesture of command like, “nay, you may proceed, minstrel. bring forth the tale of dicks”
hope it’s not too late; I made this in Scriptorium
Headcanon that when someone gets injured during a fight, (the clearly underaged) Robin at the time sometimes run into the nearest convenience store and buys vodka to clean the wound~
Imagine.......When Dick is Robin, he gets into a fight with a group of gangsters, and a civilian gets injured. Panicking, Dick runs into the nearest convenience store, looking for something to clean the wound with. Naturally, the workers are very confused as to why a little boy in a brightly coloured costume is attempting to buy a bottle of vodka. They eventually sell it to him on the grounds of "Batman would probably beat us into a pulp if we said no."
Over the years, this happens several more times, even continuing whenever there's a new Robin. Convenience store workers in Gotham have gotten so used to brightly coloured children coming in and purchasing alcohol that when a new person starts working at one of the stores, no one even thinks to explain what the hell is going on.
---
Store Manager: —and last but not least, remember to ask for an ID before selling alcohol to anyone who might be underage.
New Employee: understood.
Robin: *enters, in full costume and covered in blood. walks to the back on the store, before returning and placing a bottle of vodka on the counter with a thud*
Store Manager: *immediately begins ringing him up*
Store Manager, smiling: that'll be $20.
Robin: *hands over the money and leaves with his bottle of vodka*
New Employee: ...
New Employee: ......
New Employee: ........that was a child. That was a child in a Halloween costume. You just sold alcohol to a child in a Halloween costume.
Store Manager: oh yeah, that's Robin. We don't actually know how old he is.
Happy Pride Month to those two women dancing together in the foreground of the boat scene in Godzilla (1954).
I’m sorry your romantic foibles were overshadowed by a big ass atomic lizard thing.
Jon: To remember how many feet are in a mile, you just gotta use “five tomatoes”.
Jon: Five tomatoes sounds like five, two, eight, o and there are 5,280 feet in a mile.
Damian: To remember how many meters are in a kilometer you just remember “1,000” because the system of measurement in the rest of the world wasn’t invented by a drunk mathematician rolling dice.
In Pride month, I think it's important to remind you of this iconic dialogue. You don't have to talk about who you are if you don't want to❤️