Jack of Trades Makes Stuff

Jackobol Trades writes and arts and sometimes does funny voices Icon and header made by my sister @kappaomega Buy Me a Coffee or Become a Patron if you like my content, or want to request something!

[kyra45]

Hey you. Yes you. C’mere.

You must now %100 complete the last game you played. Can you?

Yes

No

I’ll try

It’s not possible

I have to do it again?

I ain’t doing that again

Aw no

Too difficult

(Random hollow knight player who has to get %100+)

(See results)

Voting ended onJan 8

[jackoftradesmakesstuff]

Well through a series of coincidences, I came into possession of the MTG deck for FFXIV and the collision of two dormant hyperfixations cursed me with divine inspiration. Here's some low effort meme cards with art I just kinda pulled from tumblr searches.

Credit to ViMiMi for the markers in Failed the Mechanic and art for Standing in Fire, @azuragna for the art in Failed the Mechanic, and @daveydboi for the art in Tank Buster. Do I need to credit SquEnix for the screenshot? Better safe than sorry.

[jackoftradesmakesstuff]

Since I've already broken my traditional 10 years of silence after promising a project and then not finishing it, I may as well post a midnight ramble about the worldbuilding I did for said project that was way too much thought for a relatively unimportant SI/OC. Wild conjecture about the world of ISAT under the cut.

So for the character of Jacques, the Architect, Brooding One, one of their prominent design features was a face mask - chin to cheek and covering the nose like PPE - because as a SI I like to reflect my own style and I wear a mask all the time. Aesthetically it would have had a design on it, like a tragedy-comedy split mouth or some teeth or something but I never got around to designing that. To justify the character wearing a mask, I extrapolated from basically the only information about Poteria that we have, that they have a thriving theatre scene, into being a culture that extends classic theatre mask tradition into common fashion. And like I always do, I like to start at the historical "why" they started wearing masks that way, then as time went on they began to ascribe cultural and hierarchical meaning to it.

In essence, this version of Poteria would ascribe societal class to the style of headwear you have. I say headwear because I included hats as well as masks.

Peasants, farmers, and others who work outside often would wear wide brimmed hats. Originally it would have been to keep the sun and rain off them. Later they would take the meaning of using them to be unobtrusive and unworthy of the gaze of the audience, with the symbolism being that the wide brim keeps light from showing their faces like stagehands blocking their faces during full light scene changes. Wearing a hat and no mask would also be an indicator of honesty and simplicity, as if you do peer into the shadow to see their faces, they would have no mask to hide expressions behind. This would, of course, mean that to Poterians Siffrin and Bonnie are dressed like a imbecilic yet honest country bumpkins with their big hats and no masks.

Trades workers, skilled laborers, and probably farmers again during some seasons would wear the chin-to-nose mask. To protect their lungs from dust and other junk, of course. Having the lower face covered would come to represent the non-speaking extras on stage. You can't see their mouths moving, so they may as well not be talking at all. Culturally this would indicate someone whose actions are more important than their words, hence being assigned to trades and skilled labor. This has the unfortunate run on effect of basically requiring laborers to unionize because they need someone in a different mask to negotiate for them in case a particularly bull headed bigot refuses to even acknowledge a face-masker talking, and leads to a lot of advantage being taken. To make conversations between tradesfolk easier (because sometimes it really is just hard to tell who's talking when everyone has a mask on), they often learn sign language. Jacques the architect has this style of mask, leading to their brusque and short style of speech.

Upper face masks covering the eyes and forehead would indicate some level of aristocracy or higher education. This one is wholly aesthetic, adopted to complement the other classes' masks. Upper face masks are always much more custom because their styles and trappings are indicative of the wearer's profession, in much the same way that early Western theater and commedia d'el arte had a set of standardized masks that were worn by certain character archetypes. The open mouth and covered eyes would make their emotions largely performative, expressed almost completely in the mouth and body language. The exposed mouth would also indicate culturally that they are the type of learned or important person whose words matter. Because of this the aforementioned workers unions would basically be obligated to have someone wearing an upper face mask as their negotiators and representatives or else they would not be taken seriously. In addition to aristocracy (my words are important because I'm Rich), merchants and orators would wear upper face masks.

Phantom of the Opera style quarter masks that only cover one eye are worn by the upper class that are trying too hard to seem honest without giving up their high social status indicator. "Look guys, you can see into the window of my soul just like those peasants! You can trust me! Now sing for me my angel of music" types.

Servants and other low-class workers in upper-class establishments would combine a lower face mask with a small- or no-brimmed hat. Combining the unobtrusive markers of the hat with the I'm-Not-Important-Pay-No-Attention-To-Me aspect of the lower face mask. This one is another class that didn't have a set mask so they were assigned a set. The only nod to practicality is that these servants wear the small brims instead of wide brims so that they don't have to navigate their mostly indoors professions with a hat wider than their shoulders.

Full face masks are the mark of the pariah and the outcast. Do not look upon their face, for they are unclean. This would have started with medical professionals and grave diggers, like plague doctor masks, indicated that they deal in disease and death, and prisoners getting the Hannibal Lecter hockey mask style face mask to mark them as dangerous.

These styles would even extend to helmets. A warrior wearing a metal bowl on his head is probably a conscripted peasant, but if that metal bowl extends down to cover the forehead, eyes, and cheekbones, they're probably a commander who needs to be seen and heard shouting often. A helmet with a visor over its mouth is likely a wealthier tradesperson, able to afford the extra metal, while a full solid helmet would indicate a person who has no choice but to fight for their freedom gladiator style.

[jackoftradesmakesstuff]

An Account of Death Corridors

"Wait!!!" Mirabelle cries, bringing the party to a stop. Right. You usually skip this part. "Sorry for screaming, sorry, sorry! Um, I, um... I... don't know if this is relevant, but... I," Stars but you forgot how much Mira stutters this early in the House. "Um... I recognize this corridor." She continues at Odile's prompting. "I recognize it... The Head Housemaiden of this House used to war us about it... I think... I think she called it the "Death Corridor"!!!

"Oh that sounds bad!" Isabeau grins. You're starting to think he doesn't take this part seriously.

Odile contemplates shortly before chiming in. "The House is supposed to be a safe building, but with the King here, some traps might be activated... Is this what you mean?"

(Hmmm...) >"Looks like a job for the trap master!" ->"Any insight, Architect?" >Just get the switch.

You did bring Jacques along to find any more traps. Might as well see what they have to say about one you already know about.

The tall, masked Poterian puts a fist to their chin and tilts their head. You take the chance while their attention wanders to inspect their mask a little closer. It covers their nose, mouth and chin, which you know means something in Poteria, but you forget what exactly. From this close you can tell that it's not just decorative, but is made of a tightly pressed cloth filter. So... It's a worker's mask?

"We've seen some Death Corridors in our studies. If you're interested?"

(Studied Death Corridors?) >"Just the important bits." ->"Studies?"

"Death Corridors are a standard part of House of Change architecture." Jacques rubs their knuckles on their temple for a moment. "For a given definition of standard. Trouble with studying Vaugardian architecture, and Houses of Change, is that no two are the same.

"Death Corridors are one of the few consistent features a House will have, alongside their public atriums. Used to be, they were defenses against Depressions. Put right behind the atriums to catch the wave of Sadnesses once the Housemaidens had evacuated as many civilians inside as they could. Best case, the traps headed off the Sadnesses. Worst case they delayed the Depression until the Defenders could muster. Secondary benefit they would catch thieves. Only Housemaidens who lived in the House, and so should be the only ones going further in beyond the public atrium, would know the way to safely bypass the traps.

"Of course, while no two death corridors are the same, there is one common capitulation to convenience they share. There's a way to disarm them near both doors, outside the trigger range. Don't have to worry about Sadnesses trying to find the switch, and the extra minutes trespassers would spend searching might get them caught."

"...That's it?" A history lesson? Alright, you're done with this. You walk up to the pillar and reach for the switch.

"Like we said. No two Death Corridors are the same. But at least it narrows your search area."

"I didn't know other Houses have Death Corridors." Mira tilts her head. "But... We were never taught how to disarm it?"

"Dormont's House has a few pretty radical deviations from traditional House architecture. Like splitting its public atrium into side rooms. Vaugardian courtesy tells people not to go past the first room of a house they're visiting, but we suppose serving a small village lets the House cultivate a closer relationship with its people and let them in a bit deeper. It could be the trigger is something esoteric-" The rock comes crashing down in the middle of the hallway, startling the party. Except Jacques. Stoic, aren't they? "Huh. Falling rock trap. A classic, if complex to integrate conveniently. We don't see a chain connecting the rock to the chute, so there must be another way to reload the trap on a higher floor."

"It does seem like an underwhelming trap, dropping just one rock." At least Isabeau seems appropriately credulous. He's got a thoughtful frown on his face. "If it's for denying Depressions like you said, one rock isn't gonna cut it."

"That's why there must be a way to reload above. See the ceiling? No obvious chute. Tells us they may be able to aim the trap. One rock won't stop a Depression, but start dropping rocks all over the corridor, they can target strong Sadnesses and build blockades. It's a classic for a reason."

"Well I didn't listen to all that." Bonnie huffs proudly. "But Frin got the trap so he's a better trap master than you are." They stick their tongue out at Jacques. What a good kid! Too bad Jacques doesn't seem to care. Stars, that mask makes them hard to read.

Whatever. Moving on.

[jackoftradesmakesstuff]

The most recent stuff from @mari-lair and the Isolated Stargazer AU gave me a vision so clear and profound I broke my traditional ten years of silence

Original here

[jackoftradesmakesstuff]

What I should have been doing tonight: Sleeping What I did instead: Using the ISAT dialogue maker to introduce my SI OC when I haven't even thought of anything else related to them.

Under the cut because it's a lot of gifs

[jackoftradesmakesstuff]

"I should draw my OC's sprites before I do a dialogue maker where they talk," I said, proceeding to not draw them. Done a lot of brainstorming on their design, though! Here's what the party is doing during Siffrin's Loop call.

Under the cut again because, again, it's a big pile of gifs because I like it that way.

[jackoftradesmakesstuff]

What I should have been doing tonight: Sleeping What I did instead: Using the ISAT dialogue maker to introduce my SI OC when I haven't even thought of anything else related to them.

Under the cut because it's a lot of gifs

[cursed-child-autumncookie]

ISAT swear headcanons go... For any culture not just Vaugardian...

[moonstandardtime]

behold...

i have a lot less for vaugarde than the others bc crab is just so versatile. also has less of a distinct theme so its a little trickier to come up with cohesive swears. the island ones are fun bc i get to use cool soace trivia

[jackoftradesmakesstuff]

What I should have been doing tonight: Sleeping What I did instead: Using the ISAT dialogue maker to introduce my SI OC when I haven't even thought of anything else related to them.

Under the cut because it's a lot of gifs

[catsharkie-old]

EVERYONE QUICK describe your oc story in the worst way possible

[jackoftradesmakesstuff]

Skyrim Dragonborn: Militant religious fanatic believes she is a psychopomp for immortal souls. Unfortunately, she is right and starts killing gods about it.

Modded Skyrim Completionist Run: Cat Grandma, who just retired from being Cat God-Emperor's Personal Bodyguard, steals every item of even slight importance and puts them in a museum. Sometimes she has to punch a god to death to get her prize, but that's just her normal Tuesday.

Oblivion Hero of Kvatch: Criminal charlatan merchant is offered amnesty in exchange for ensuring the Emperor's bloodline continues. Accidentally amasses so much political power by scheming his way to supplanting every faction's leader, taking over the criminal underworld, and becoming the champion of the entire pantheon, that he gets elected Emperor instead. He hates it. He wants to go home.

Fallout 4 Sole Survivor: Modern Oracle of Delphi helps stop the Great War with his visions then gets clean off drugs to get married. Apocalypse happens anyway. Slowly goes back to being Addictions Georg every time something bad happens because he thinks his visions will help.

Fallout New Vegas Courier 6: Retired Badass Returns For One Last Job After Her Last One Went So Wrong. Two bullets to the brainpan just makes her angrier and more unstoppable. When she sees that nobody is making anything better all the time, decides "Fine. I'll Do It Myself." Unfortunate taste in men.

Fallout 3 Lone Wanderer: Local Claustrophobe Forced Into Cramped Space For The 7th Time Today Finally Snaps.

Final Fantasy 14 Warrior of Light: Healer whose powers don't follow normal rules finally learns where his powers come from, immediately becomes The Punisher. Has a sense of justice so massive it takes a helmet as tall as he is to contain it.

Final Fantasy 14 Story Alt: Local Bard discovers that in the grand play of scheming gods and shattered reincarnations, he is actually some random nobody who has no place here with his dinky small, weak soul. Immediately goes around getting possessed and collecting soul passengers until his soul looks like Zim from that one episode where he steals peoples' intestines. Dresses in an over the top parody of the main antagonists' uniform to mock them.

Pokemon Trainer: Local man wants to settle down, but enjoys large, inhospitable pokemon. Cultivates a wandering garden instead.

Starfinder: A bunch of space nazi zombies kill Oogie Boogie Nightmarebeforechristmas's family and kidnap his dad, so he joins the space anti-space-nazi-zombies force and starts eating people about it.

Pathfinder: Time traveler sends simulacrum copies of themselves back in time to help resolve conflict points.

DnD: Robot is actually a hivemind swarm of magical bugs piloting his body like a mech, on the search for new and exciting other bugs to assimilate.

Also DnD: Local bird can only speak in Youtube Poop, studies ancient ruins to collect new curses to cast on enemies.

DnD But Became Default Character On Anything: Local Orc Too Stupid To Die. Curbstomps the god of destruction so hard he becomes a multiversal constant.

[54prowl]

⚠️ this blog does not support works created by AI software ⚠️

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

ICYMI, there was fear that companies were scraping public AO3 fics to train their AI without the consent of AO3 or its users. That fear has been confirmed.

AO3 has written about what they’re doing (and what they’re not able to do), and they recommend restricting your work to AO3 registered users only. [Instructions here]

This gross misuse of the archive by techbros is why I’ve locked down my fics for the foreseeable future. I recommend the rest of you do the same.

[reshirement]

@lordoftherazzles made a quick guide for ao3 authors to lock all their works at once for registered users only here!

[odamakilock]

Someone recently messaged me worried I’d deleted all my fic - it’s all still there, it’s just locked to A03 because of this and other skimming instances.

[shieldshockfanfic]

Please note that many fanfic authors are locking their stories so that they are only accessible to registered Ao3 users.

They’re still there at Ao3. The authors have made this choice to protect their work from misuse/AI scanning.

[orlissa]

Hi,

It’s you friendly neighbor fanfic author here. In the light of this apparent new trend of people feeding unfinished fics to AI to get an “ending,” and some people even talking about “blanket permissions,” let me just say this:

I EXPLICITLY FORBID ANYONE TO FEED MY FICS TO AI. DUDE, THAT IS ABOUT THE LEAST RESPECTFUL THING YOU CAN DO. IF YOU DO IT, SHALL YOU BE EXCOMMUNICATED FROM YOUR FANDOM AND WALK ON LEGOS BAREFOOT TILL THE END OF DAYS.

That is my anti-permission.

Thank you for your attention.

[lexosaurus]

I know the OP is saying this in a bit of a lighthearted way to be nice but I’m not that nice and I’m frankly really appalled at what I’ve been seeing so I’m going to explain why you shouldn’t do that.

AI CANNOT create on its own. It’s not that smart. Anyone who’s ever build any sort of language AI can tell you with 100% certainty it’s not that smart. It can “learn” and it can “create” sentences, but it needs to be fed a language to do so.

So it will only ever “create” based on what it’s fed. This is absolutely crucial.

There are ethical ways to do this. I did this in my undergrad with my class, taking .txt files of old classic books and feeding them to our programs for words. That way our programs were only ever “creating” from works that did not break copyright laws.

But feeding an AI someone else’s fanfic? Yeah, now you’ve given the language model SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK to learn off of WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION.

It doesn’t matter that it’s a fanfic and technically, the author does not own the characters/setting. They created the story, they engaged in creative exercise, so that fanfic is theirs. YOU do not have the right, legally, to take THEIR work and do what you want with it, much less feed it to an AI who will take their work and now use it to further its language learning.

Especially since AIs like Chat GPT have a payment model. Now someone else is making money off of a fanfic author’s work, and YOU directly contributed to that.

So if you do that? Fuck you. Sincerely.

[jackoftradesmakesstuff]

“Hey, right on time. Must be your lucky day... But then, you don’t need luck, huh? You’ve got Krono.”

I know it’s bad manners to speculate about Hololive members’ past roles, but Ouro Krono sounds a lot like Logan Cunningham in Transistor, doesn’t he?

[jackoftradesmakesstuff]

Requested by @merfolk-are-the-best-folk after I mentioned it elsewhere, I’m posting my personal splice together of the Final Fantasy 14 Alexander Raid music. Composed by Masayoshi Soken, the splice transitions along leitmotifs and shared passages within songs.

Tracks used include 'Alexander Ambient Theme,' 'Brute Justice's Theme,' 'Exponential Entropy,' 'Locus,' 'Metal,' 'Moebius,' 'Rise,' 'The Twinning,' and 'The Tycoon,' along with some in-game and some royalty free sound effects. Cover image from the wiki and attributed to Square Enix.

Fun fact, the MP3 is 30 megabytes, and trying to compress it down to fit tumblr’s 10 megabyte cap absolutely destroyed the sound quality. So I made it a 220 megabyte WAV file instead and gave it to Soundcloud, and hot damn it worked!

[jackoftradesmakesstuff]

Having not played nor watched much of anything Mass Effect until I watched @demilypyro play it, when I saw the Geth Pyro, I was inspired.

So here’s the Gethmily Pyro.

(I didn’t want to draw that hammer it’s so complicated so I just pasted it and Rannoch in)

[jackoftradesmakesstuff]

I just had to get the grumpusona out of my head. Took about an hour, super low effort.

Jodace Naildit is the general contractor that Elizabert Megafig brought along to build the settlement of Snaxburg! He hasn’t slept in days because he’s been busy rebuilding the town after the earthquake that helped scatter the grumpuses before the game’s start. In the Bugsnax tradition of having an all-star cast, he would be voiced by Steve Blum.

Story under the cut because I spent way too long coming up with it instead of sleeping. It’s long. I like to make my OC’s like DLC-esque characters; They fit in or can be removed without changing the main plot very much, but give opportunities to explore unexplained aspects of the game.

Jodace is a staunch union grump, and has much experience building all sorts of structures. He was one of the usual grumps that the union sent Elizabert when she would hold showcases in Grump City, so when she needed someone to help establish a settlement on Snaktooth Island, she made the union an offer they couldn’t refuse.

Everygrump knows that people don’t return from Snaktooth, so Elizabert set up a fund that would transfer five times a contractor’s weekly pay to the union’s trust weekly until either the fund ran out, Jodace finished his contract and returned, or the union received proof positive that Jodace had died. If Jodace returned, he would receive 80% of the trust, and the union would keep the last 20%. If he died, the union would keep the whole thing.

Jodace accepted the job, and has been constructing mini-boats with written reports stashed on them, and sending them off weekly to keep the union updated on his progress. Since the mainland can’t contact Snaktooth at all, he has no way to know if they ever reach shore. He also can’t replenish his stock of nails.

The first thing Jodace built in Snaxburg was the mill that Chandlo and Snorpington stay in, to cut the lumber he would need to build the rest of Snaxburg. When he began running out of nails, and the island had no available metal to make his own, he started having to re-use. He’d glue things together and use nails to hold them until the glue dried, then retrieve the nails afterward.

When the other grumpuses discovered that bugsnax just turn into mush if killed or cooked, and Cromdo started making snakwater by steeping bugsax, Jodace put the two discoveries together and learned that by rendering down bugsnax goo, he could make a somewhat sticky substance that he started to use when his glue ran out.

In the game proper, the player would find him in Sugarpine Woods like Chandlo and Snorpy, near the already chopped trees. He’d agree to come back to Snaxburg easily, but he’d just need some time to bring the trees he’d chopped back to town for lumber. He’d return to town alongside Chandlo and Snorpy when their quests were done.

As the game progresses, he’d help Chandlo repair the bridge to the Sizzlin’ Sands, and Triffany and Wambus to clear the rubble leading to Frosted Peak. At the very end, he’d help Filbo repair your ship. But, unlike Filbo, if you haven’t completed his personal quest, he can succumb to the snax like the rest, giving some urgency to that part of the last section.

His personal quests would be experimenting with Bugsnakification in regards to his building abilities. Paws are fine, but he’s seen other grumpuses hold on to things despite snakified arms lacking fingers.

First he would ask that the player turn one of his hands into a Green Crapple, so that the claw he hopes to get matches his fur. Unfortunately, Crapple only gives him one slice instead of a claw. He’s disappointed, but notes that he has some sort of tactile stickiness in place of a gripping paw. To explore the stickiness, he asks that one hand be turned into a Hunnabee, and the other into a Cinnasnail.

Interestingly, these sticky snax don’t change the grip strength of his hands! Still disappointing. As a last ditch effort, he wants to see if a layered snak would give him the grip he wants, and asks for a hand to be turned into a Sandopede. Even that, you find out, does not give Jodace what he wants. The ‘layers’ are just differently colored folds, and the snakified hand is solid all the way through.

Despondent, Jodace says that since he’s stuck with the weird sticky paws, which he doesn’t trust as much as his old gripping paws to hold his hammer, he needs to get some safety equipment. He wants to turn his feet and head into the hardest snax you can find. His quest is finished when you turn his feet and head into Cocomites.