The Truth Telling Short Kings
Bitty: is 5′6″ and sees no point in lying about this
Tango: is the only man on the planet to be 5′11″ and list his height as 5′11″
Louis: he’s just a little guy, a little birthday boy, a little 5′8″ little guy (being a short king ™ is half of his personality actually)
Ransom: is also over six feet tall, he is 6′2″
Dex: is in over six feet tall, but despite his height being listed as 6′2″ he is about an inch shorter than Dex
Nursey: is in fact also over six feet tall, also listed as 6′2″ but again… shorter than Ransom who is also??? 6′2″??? (but he’s half an inch taller than Dex, fuck u Dex)
Holster: has to duck when he walks through the door
Whiskey: 5′10″ at most. This man says he’s “six feet even” but he looks shorter than Tango when they stand together (he says he slouches, ford says he’s a lying liar)
Chowder: 5′11″ Farmer says she’s 6′1″ even though she’s 6′0″ so that he doesn’t get caught in his blatant height based lie
Bully: SMH Roster: River Bullard is six feet tall, The tape of truth: River Bullard is 5′10″ at most
Hops: the top of his head clears the tape line but upon further investigation, he was wearing his skates, ANOTHER LIAR
Ollie: Not six feet tall, sorry, try again next time, you are 5′10″
Wicks: is like 5′9″, c’mon guys, this is just blatant at this point