a single egg with nursey's face on it

OMGCP Sideblog Any follows and likes from makinghappy 24, literally in love with every character in OMG Check, Please! TEAM ROACHES

[porcupine-girl]

Someone on a discord server asked if your blorbos would celebrate the Ides of March and you know what SMH would ABSOLUTELY have an Ides of March kegster complete with a cake bus of Julius Caesar for guests to take chunks out of with plastic butter knives.

Togas required for admittance, obviously - except for Jack, who tries to use this as an excuse not to attend (“Look, I’m not wearing a yoga, I’m not allowed downstairs”) but finally gets bullied into wearing a laurel wreath for a bit.

[demonicsymphony]

Shitty would wind up in ONLY a laurel wreath before the end of the night.

[porcupine-girl]

Before he finished his first cup of tub juice

[hedleykowcosplay]

we always strive to make content that would slot right in in 2014 era youtube content and honestly? nailed it.

[dykeseinfeld]

shitty majoring in gender and sexuality focused on masculinity studies and team sports which is super interesting and cool (and a space where it can actually be refreshing to have male voices) and it may be tempting to read the double major in poli sci as focusing on gender equality and lgbt rights but there's a world where he focused on cold war tensions and how the soviet union and the united states used sports as an arena for competition, sports as an arena of political protest and defining piece of the nation state in itself, also the exploitation of athletes across racial gender and class divisions in college and in professional leagues

[dykeseinfeld]

you all imagining shitty as a public defender or working for planned parenthood aren't thinking big enough. shitty represented brittney griner when she was detained in russia for marijuana possession.

[zim-tits]

[bittysthesis]

kent parson: welcome to my crib

“when I was in third grade I was told that I have a personality made for television. I think it was an insult.”

“this is my cat. her name is kit. I was actually thinking of getting another cat a little while ago but I think she would be offended and we have a good thing going, so.”

“this is the lamp that jeff troy broke. I’m keeping it like this until he apologizes”

“this is the wooden duck statue I won in a bet, and it was bad enough that I’m never getting rid of this now, which is saying something. I hate this stupid thing”

“I’m not showing you my bedroom, that’s creepy”

“that’s my snack cupboard but I’m not showing you that either because technically I’m not allowed to eat what’s in it”

“that’s kit’s room. I’m not allowed in there”

“this is the self portrait I painted of myself when I was nine. I got an A on it, actually. my teacher said I was a pleasure to have in class”

“how’s your love life, janet?”

“that’s where I keep my trophies and memorabilia and stuff. I don’t mean to brag but I kind of am. here’s my picture with elmo.”

“did you know I was on sesame street, janet?”

[omgcheckplease]

Happy Birthday, Jack!

[fortnitereigen]

i cant read check please without the notes because my reading experience improves greatly from shit like this

[a-very-gay-disaster]

jack: i think im gonna pierce my ears?

bitty, barely containing his excitement: oh?? want me to book the appointment

jack: please

*several days and one piercing appointment later*

bitty: i found you earrings that are little hockey pucks

jack, frantically googling: can you marry a person twice

[abermb]

zimbits:

bitty always threatens to call one of their moms when jack is chirping him

bitty unzips jack’s hoodies and then zips himself into them, thoroughly stretching out all of jack’s hoodies.

“im cold” “bits no dont-” “IM COMING IN” “b i t t y”

“gee it sure is cold out here…” “I told you to bring a sweater” “IF ONLY i had a giant warm boyfriend” “(sigh) come here” “yay!! :)”

bitty uses Too Many pillows. Jack uses two.

jack: is this enough pillows bittle bitty: (literally creating a nest of 8 pillows) bitty: absolutely not don’t be cheap jack

jack pointing to anything and asking what “that newfangled doohicky is for”. bonus points if it’s something that he uses every day like his blender or his remote for the speakers. 

bitty comes up with creative ways to describe what things are for that are unnecessarily long or complicated.

jack: (points to the toaster) whats that ridiculous contraption for bitty: well, you see, bread was invented about 8000 b.c.e. when-

evry single day: “jack, what should I make for dinner” “food probably” “AMAZING how that joke is STILL FUNNY and NOT GETTING OLD OR ANNOYING AT ALL” (jack cackling)

bitty gets really giggly when he’s sleepy, especially around jack. jack thinks its really endearing and it makes him giggly and warm as well, so sometimes it’s like 3 am and they’re just laying next to each other poking each other and cracking up for no fucking reason. 

[asterlark]

jack, autistically:

NO.

(get this man a weighted blanket for when bitty can't sit on top of him)

[bittysthesis]

see I just know that jack had to go through psych evals as part of the fallout of the overdose which 100% meant he sat down in a chair and a professional looked at him and went "hmm. Autism." and then jack just never thought about it again

[watermelonmountaindew]

jack and shitty friendship that vacillates between brotherly and vaguely homoerotic because neither of them have ever had a normal close friendship before, so they have no idea how it’s supposed to look, but they’re gonna put their all into it so they don’t lose the other person

[watermelonmountaindew]

#everyone always uses holsom's vague homoerotic best broship as the example of crossing the line into romance #when shitty ''no boundaries with friends'' knight and jack ''cant tell romantic and platonic affection apart'' zimmermann are right there #ransom and holster saw shitty lying naked in jack's bed their freshman year and were like ''okay so best friends can be a lil homoerotic'' #saw shitty kiss jack on the lips after they wrestled in the living room and were like ''see us making out was totally a bro thing'' #what im getting at is that holsom kept modeling their friendship on jack and shitty #nobody in smh can tell when homoerotic friendships dip into romances bc this is their basis #jack and shitty are like ''this is my first best friend ever and there is nothing he can do to get rid of me now’' @crywalkrs​

Jack and Shitty ARE the smh intense friendship blueprint

[wheeloffortune-design]

bitty leaves a hickey on jack’s neck and no one notices until 3 seconds before jack has to give an interview so he just steals snowy’s hipster’s scarf and now the world thinks jack is a trendsetter and they ask him about fashion and jack is dying inside while anyone who knows jack are laughing and asking his advice on fashion like ‘jack i’m wearing a blue suit what kind of shoes should i wear with it?’ and jack is like ‘huh… nice ones?’

[omg-hollander]

Ford makes a tiktok for SMH and the first one that goes viral is her putting a piece of tape on the door frame of the dressing room exactly 6 feet high and filming the guys as they walk through it and reveal that most of them are in fact lying about being 6 feet tall

[omg-hollander]

The Truth Telling Short Kings

Bitty: is 5′6″ and sees no point in lying about this

Tango: is the only man on the planet to be 5′11″ and list his height as 5′11″

Louis: he’s just a little guy, a little birthday boy, a little 5′8″ little guy (being a short king ™ is half of his personality actually)

Actually Tall

Ransom: is also over six feet tall, he is 6′2″

Dex: is in over six feet tall, but despite his height being listed as 6′2″ he is about an inch shorter than Dex

Nursey: is in fact also over six feet tall, also listed as 6′2″ but again… shorter than Ransom who is also??? 6′2″??? (but he’s half an inch taller than Dex, fuck u Dex)

Holster: has to duck when he walks through the door

LIARS

Whiskey: 5′10″ at most. This man says he’s “six feet even” but he looks shorter than Tango when they stand together (he says he slouches, ford says he’s a lying liar)

Chowder: 5′11″ Farmer says she’s 6′1″ even though she’s 6′0″ so that he doesn’t get caught in his blatant height based lie

Bully: SMH Roster: River Bullard is six feet tall, The tape of truth: River Bullard is 5′10″ at most

Hops: the top of his head clears the tape line but upon further investigation, he was wearing his skates, ANOTHER LIAR

Ollie: Not six feet tall, sorry, try again next time, you are 5′10″

Wicks: is like 5′9″, c’mon guys, this is just blatant at this point

[omg-hollander]

Ford at the end of the tikok, standing under the tape: I’m happy to announce that I am 5′9″ in hockey man inches

[montrealmadison]

1.11 “Samwell vs. Yale - Part II” vs. 4.18 “Playoffs”

[parvuls]

(@montrealmadison)

[ariesisms]

rereading the closet story thinking about shitty processing out to jack like "do you think its insane that bitty wasn't sure if we'd beat him up for being gay? are we doing enough for our gay teammates? do you think there's people on the team who dont feel safe to come out?" and jack is just sitting there watching him pace around and trying to eat a sandwich and not out himself like "um. i dont know. i wouldn't beat bitty up" and shitty is like "god right? who would?"

[ariesisms]

shitty: jack, do you think we're good allies?

jack:

[ivecarvedawoodenheart]

insp by various posts by @birkholtzlovebot & @ariesisms