Le Passé Est Passé

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[gunvolt]

im going to have a stroke

[prideling]

Instead try… Person A: You know… the thing Person B: The “thing”? Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda… THE FISHING ROD

[artykyn]

As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed:

Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.

Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”

Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.

Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.

Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.

Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “Is there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.

Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into “What stressing!”

Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.”

[esper-aroon]

Pronouncing your own name with a foreign accent in mid conversation because you can’t switch the accent gears fast enough and then wincing at yourself as your ears scream bloody murder at you.

[alpine-langblr]

[tchaikovskaya]

This is a video of an Oksapmin woman demonstrating the Oksapmin base-27 counting system. The Oksapmin people of New Guinea use body part counting as a base for their numeral system (which may sound wild and exotic, but is really just a more detailed version of what we do, most anthropologists think base-10 number systems come from humans’ having 10 fingers) starting with the thumb, going up the arm and head to the nose (the 14th number) and going down the other side of the body to the pinky finger of the other hand (the 27th number). It does not matter which side you start counting on, so counting from right-to-left or left-to-right makes no difference. 

And if that’s not the coolest thing you’ve ever heard, I don’t know what to tell ya

[gallusrostromegalus]

So while I was getting my haircut, the lady asked me if I had other plans for the day and I said:

“I’m just going to pick up the boy from daycare and then it’s date night.”

And the lady says “Oh! How old is he?”

“He’s three.”

“Mine too! Where are you registering him for kindergarten it’s such a hassle-”

And that’s when I realized I said “boy” and not “dog” because I always think of Charlie as “good boy” but this slip up has lead to a miscommunication.

The lady is now 6 minutes into a clearly needed rant about how unnecessarily complex shopping for schools is, esp when you have a neurodivergent child, so I can’t just tell her that Charlie is a dog because then she’ll feel awkward for unloading on me and she clearly has enough going on.

So the rest of the haircut became a game of “how much can I say about Charlie without revealing that he is not a human child?” And the answer is “enough to cover a half hour hair appointment, quite possibly several hours worth if I’m specific enough”

[gallusrostromegalus]

“is he very verbal?”

“It really depends on who he’s with. He’s very quiet at he but won’t shut up if he’s at the park or has a friend over.”

“was it hard to potty-train him?”

“he’s adopted, but I was genuinely amazed at how good he already was with hygene and potty stuff.”

“mine’s just obsessed with paw patrol and Frozen, drives me crazy!”

“I imagine. Charlie is colorblind so he’s not as into tv, but he always wants a toy if I take him anywhere with them.”

“oh gosh the toys! And the kids are so rough on them!”

“yeah Charlie can destroy a stuffed animal in about 2 minutes, so I only buy him the really cheap ones.”

“Does he throw tantrums when they break?”

“Not really. It’s meditative, really, taking them apart. He has hysterics if the cat takes his toys though. Runs downstairs and cries at me until I retrieve it because he’s not tall enough to get it out of the cat tree.”

[gallusrostromegalus]

The Very Good Boy in question, Charleston Chew.

(if you want to read more of my much weirder adventures, I have pre-orders for my book on Patreon right now: https://www.patreon.com/gallusrostromegalus )

[krwzprtt]

[gaypeopletwitter]

[americanqueer-deactivated201912]

Gayze. It’s called a gayze.

[gaynfl-moved]

is he gonna check???

[languageloveaffair]

[language-and-stuffs-i-guess]

me? not studying a language for over a month and then expecting myself to be fluent in it? its more likely than you’d think

[langblrwhy]

How to learn an entire language without studying google search

[squidbroom]

me: yeah i should sleep

me at 3am on the duolingo esperanto page:

[polnitsch]

Shitty langblr tip #21: finding your target language tricky? Particularly the grammar? Start learning a new language with an even more difficult or complicated grammar! By the time you’ve mastered that language, the grammar of your original target language will seem much easier when you return to it!

[bourtange]

[anthonyamorim]

Do you swallow?

how else would i drink water?? fuckin idiot

[heckdoilikedogs]

via

[fuck-customers]

Lmao this American girl walked up to a Hungry Jacks (Burger King) register with her drink and really, really loudly (I was at the other side of the place) proclaimed: “I asked for Lemonade, you gave me Sprite” in a really bitchy, entitled voice.

The cashier (and everyone within earshot) just looked at her like “the fuck is wrong with you”

In Australia, Sprite IS lemonade as far as we’re concerned.

Enjoy your 90c refund you cheap ass ho.

[jhenne-bean]

“Sprite IS lemonade as far as we’re concerned”

[freshest-tittymilk]

@fleamont can you verify?

[movednowbye-deactivated20221103]

Yeah this is correct. Lemonade is sprite. Clear fizzy liquid type thing. Solo is closer to what American lemonade is but we don’t actually have what you guys consider lemonade anyway so she was never going to get what she wanted lmao.

[freshest-tittymilk]

Y'ALL AIN’T GOT LEMONADE?!?!??

madness…

[kingjaffejoffer]

“we don’t actually have what you guys consider lemonade“

[thetallblacknerd]

That entire continent exists on a different realm of existence

[blasianxbri]

What the… Lmao

[yosoyleche]

Why is it called lemonade then? 🤔

[fiontan]

@casualswfan What is wrong with you guys?

[seascrapes]

IT IS THE SAME DAMN THING. You Yankees and your fifty brands of the same :P

[fiontan]

LEMONADE AND SPRITE ARE NOTHING ALIKE

[verdytai]

Things heating up in the drink fandom

[fairytalesandimaginings]

I’m pretty sure the same is true in the UK at least was in 2010 except Sprite didn’t seem to be a common brand so I’d ask for Sprite get blank looks eventually figured out to ask for lemonade 

[questions-within-questions]

Sprite is a recognised brand here, but it’s not omnipresent, it is also considered a brand of lemonade.

[larena]

This is fucked up.

[tparadox]

Sprite: lemon-lime soda (pop/carbonated beverage). Lemonade: lemons, water, and sugar. Still.

[zarekthelordofthefries]

LEMONADE IS NOT CARBONATED WHATT HEFUCC CK ARE YOU ALL DOIGN

[taiey]

Living? Sensibly?

Also on what planet does Sprite have lime in it.

[romansnow]

Sprite, the lemon-lime flavored carbonated beverage, is made on Earth.

Earth is the third planet from the Sun, the densest planet in the Solar System, the largest of the Solar System’s four terrestrial planets, and the only astronomical object known to harbor Sprite.

The people of Earth are known as “Earthlings” or “Spriteloids” interchangeably (although not to each other).

[elsandifer]

At least in the UK, if you order lemonade you’ll sometimes get Sprite, but if it’s proper it’s a lemon soda akin to the Italian gassosa - less sweet than Sprite.

[froborr]

Oh shit, I’ve had gassosa, it’s AMAZING.

[elexuscal]

I just want to say that the whole ‘lemonade and Sprite are interchangeable’ is pretty common throughout Asia as well, in my experience

[kingkilling-and-stormlight]

@bre-e-e-e what madness is this?!?!?!?!

[bre-e-e-e-deactivated20170219]

@kingkilling-and-stormlight so… what you are all saying is. Lemonade is … not fizzy… in America?

[lierdumoa]

You guys have orange juice at least, right? Grapefruit juice? In the US, Lemonade is a juice, like orange juice, but made with lemons instead of oranges. You can buy “fresh squeezed lemonade” at many restaurants and fast food venues. Typically it’s diluted a bit with sugar water, so the sour flavor of the raw lemon juice isn’t so overpowering. 

In the south, it’s very common for people buy whole lemons and make their own lemonade at home using a citrus juicer.

[monanotlisa]

In Germany, you’d ask for “Limonade” and yeah, you may get a Sprite or a Fanta; it’ll always be a fizzy nonalcoholic drink and usually come in lemon, lime, orange flavor. Only in healthfood or hipster establishments would it ever be an actual juice drink.

[minim-calibre]

As a fan of homemade rosewater lemonade, I am twitching at the thought of sickly sweet carbonated beverages that taste like they were invented by someone who may have been in the same room as a citrus fruit once but can’t remember what it actually tastes like being called lemonade.

[orcasocks-blog]

Wtf did y'all think beyonce was talking about????

[scuttleboat]

oh wow I hadn’t even considered that. Like millions of people worldwide hearing the album title but not understanding what lemonade means even on the most superficial level.

[maramcgregor]

This is so epically disturbing. Lemonade is such an integral part of spring and summertime. I just … this breaks my brain and my heart. The cultural references too. Just, all the American shows that reference lemonade and people in other countries are thinking Sprite? There’s a reason kids do freshly squeezed lemonade stands. You can’t buy it like that from a store. And there’s nothing quite like screwing it up and getting the sugar ratio wrong. And parents grinning through the too sour or too sweet mess and praising your efforts. Lemonade Is a Thing.

[fastphoridae]

Wait does that mean Aussies make Shandies with sprite?????

[pandor-pandorkful]

Does this mean a significant portion of the global population don’t know what to do when life hands you lemons?

[fozmeadows]

Yes, Australians make Shandies with our carbonated soft drink lemonade, though if you’re using it as a mixer, you’re less likely to be using Sprite and more likely to be using Schweppes, which looks like this:

Like. We absolutely have a concept of flat, juice-based lemonade, but as an earlier commenter said, it’s a niche hipster speciality rather than the default, and even then, it’s still going to be premade rather than fresh. 

[jeremiagoeswoah]

OH GOD THAT’S WHY AMERICAN CHILDREN CAN MAKE IT AND SELL IT SO EASILY. I ALWAYS WONDERED HOW KIDS COULD MAKE A CARBONATED DRINK AT HOME.

[ryblogs]

[allnjstn-deactivated20250522]

Reblogging for Beyonce. This thread is gold.

[gaycoffeelover]

@cresselian

[wanderlustlanguages]

unpopular opinion

there are way too many way too specific vocabulary lists on langblr. Why are you going to learn the words for all the different kinds of meat before even learning the most basic grocery vocab like bread and milk etc.

[languagessi-deactivated20210423]

1. Not everyone is a beginner. Some people are more advanced in their studies and want to learn more specific vocabulary. 2.  Most textbooks already provide the most basic vocabulary you need but not more advanced or specific vocabulary so it’s nice that you can at least learn them from langblr. 3. Words that may seem overly specific and “useless” in one language might be common and widely used in another language, it depends on the culture.  4. If someone else’s vocabulary list is way above your level or not relevant to you… just ignore it? You don’t have to reblog or study it. Just go find some vocabulary lists that fit your level and needs better. 

[laufeyknits]

#3 is especially important, for cultural and other, location-specific reasons. As an example, Icelandic has a wide vocab for weather, and that’s necessary. You really do need a word that means “snow blown around, possibly by heavy winds” because that can be dangerous, it blocks visibility (skafrenningur if it’s just drifting snow, háarenningur if it’s so high above ground it blocks a grown man’s line of sight). You need a word that means “ice so much more slippery than normal ice that it’ll send you flying”, same reason (flughálka), and plenty more to describe winds, fog and storms, things that are very Iceland-typical.

What Icelandic doesn’t have is a bazillion names for different types of trees depending on their type, age, use, colour and what else. Guess which language has? Finnish. Guess what Finland has that Iceland doesn’t have? Yeah.

When I began to learn Icelandic, we actually did learn complicated, weather-related vocab lists right from the start. Just because the lists seem unnecessarily long for beginners, doesn’t mean they aren’t very much needed and helpful when in the country.

[azealiabanksweb]

😂

[gaypeopletwitter]