[jamslamkabam]

The last time I was on tumblr was three years ago why am I back

[jamslamkabam]

after hanging out with a toddler who throws tantrums all week I kinda wanna throw a tantrum too but unfortunately I am 22 and have to pay rent so I just have to say dumb shit on the internet

[penicillium-pusher]

I’m so baffled??? I sent the new hire the training guide, and he…. edited it. He rewrote the training guide. Excuse me. What.

[penicillium-pusher]

[lichen-soup-scribe]

This post on r/AmItheAsshole (and the OP’s follow-up responses) have me cry-laughing – please enjoy

[fetus-cakes]

“I will erupt, feral, from the cardigan screaming, pounce over the counter and eat the entire five kilograms of cheese”

[thenatsdorf]

Checking out his best moves in the mirror.

[anais-ninja-bitch]

practicing for Halloween

[anthonyamorim]

me: :(

red robin: yum

me: :)

[joshsundquist]

I made a fake disability ID card does that make me a bad person

[killorbekillian]

“We were in Europe a couple years ago and we went to this museum and I went up to the ticket taker and I was like, ‘Hey, I read on your website that you let people with disabilities come to the museum for free?’ And she was like, ‘Yes, but I’m gonna need to see some ID proving that you have a disability.’ And I was like, ‘What do… I mean, I have one leg.’ And she’s like, ‘Yeah yeah, but do you have disability ID proving..?’ I was like, ‘I don’t - I mean, do you think this is an optical illusion?  Or like an elaborate costume I’ve created to get into your museum for free?’ She’s like, ‘Alright, I’ll let it slide just this once, but next time, make sure you have the ID.’

“Now it turns out that in Europe they do have these disability ID cards. We don’t have anything quite like it in the United States, but we went back to Europe the next year and we wanted to go to that museum again, so before we did, I printed off this, like, fake disability card. [Laughing] It’s just an American flag and a disability symbol. We went back to that museum, I showed them the card, they’re like, ‘Oh great. Yeah, go on in, for free, to our museum.’“

[demilypyro]

do you think butch hartman knows how many eggs he cracked with this

[aromancy]

[demilypyro]

[graveyardstuffers-deactivated20]

Me when i have to reblog from the source because u couldnt control your dumb ass comments

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

there’s no such thing as a convenient window through which to view che–

[gl0wc0r3]

[adeckwith5aces]

Honestly? Same

[virginiaisforhaters]

this is what the inside of my brain look like 

[mpreg-harrystyles]

[trashboat]

op change your url challenge

[lemondorp]

I thought it was going to be something like ‘unfunny-comics’, but what I read instead completely obliterated me.

[depsidase]

[lgb-tease]

Why would you hide this in the tags!

[dankmemeuniversity]

[susemoji]

that woman you just called fat? it’s the moon. that boy you just called ugly? it’s a bike. that woman you called anorexic? that’s a lamppost. the man you called gay for kissing his boyfriend? its a woman. you need glasses.

[godh8er-deactivated20220626]

WATCH THIS VIDEO

a very, VERY important post. spread everywhere and screen record the video to your phone. or message me and ill happily send you the video. give to every woman and girl you know.

bc as they both said / demonstrated, its not only super easy to do, but super easy to miss.

[crappyhomemadegifs]

[mrdaco]

My room mate found this 9-1-1 Emergency Education VHS and we watched it together. We seem to have the only record of its existence. And here’s a taste.