Being A Doll / Robot? Yeah…..

Sadly I am what the experts call “slightly fucked up in the head” so of course I have kinks and now I‘m putting ‘em here as a collection. Alongside anything else I find interesting of course. 20.

[crazysodomite]

You've been a Good cast-iron pan. Let Mommy take care of you... I'm going to Rub Oil all over you and Bake you at 230°C and you're going to like it... Badly behaved Pans go into the dishwasher and get Scrubbed with a Metal Sponge.

[alintolya03]

She wants a date - she will get a date

[greatwyrmgold]

Art by MaxOKE on Bluesky:

Cute fanart. The artist has more Pink Mew fanart.

But this is the only one with her in pocket p catgirl figure form. And that made me think about being able to switch between being small and cute, and strong and normal-sized...lucky Pink...

[spicymancer]

Slumber Party

[whyenn-reader]

part of being an adult is figuring out what eveyone else's definition of "going crazy" is. to you it is not sleeping for 60 hours, writing 80k words in one sitting and expiriencing enough anxiety to kill a horse. to beth from accounting its buying a ticket to Columbus, Ohio. and to your friend its consuming so much ketamine you lose all of your posessions and wake up with five broken bones in a ditch somewhere and then proceeding to do it again the next day. to your other friend its writing a letter to their favourite actress about how much they appreciate her work. to your neighbour its laughing loudly in a grocery store whilst in pajamas. maya from uni hears the voice of her dead father making jokes with no punchlines and she considers that to be quite normal - to her going crazy would be hearing her husband instead. your downstairs neighbour will take night walks naked sometimes and claim there is nothing weird about him. there are literally no rules to life and all meaning is in the eye of the beholder.

[electricpurrs]

i think this is the funniest possible image that could be used to illustrate this subject

[girlnextvore]

[petite-guignol]

OK FUN FACT i also thought this picture was hilarious when i encountered it a few months ago, so i was curious how it ended up on wikipedia

it turns out the uploader is in fact the woman in the photo (she's uploaded a few other pictures of herself to other articles) and she ran an extremely web 1.0 site on the topic of bondage

this was apparently a long-standing fantasy of hers and she in fact did an entire video plus accompanying photoshoot about it, which was run in a bondage magazine in the 90s and did in fact take place on an abandoned train track. they committed to the bit hard enough that there's even a shot of the sinister villain looming over her with a big document labeled DEED and a pen

the best part is that according to this page, there were two "villains" involved (the woman's two partners, apparently), and the other one was dressed as a gorilla. sadly there are no images of the gorilla kidnapper because that sounds like. even funnier.

anyway i thought this whole thing was kinda cute, lol

[gondorrevealparty]

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

[gondorrevealparty]

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.

[clegfly]

i Need tumblr to know about hooer of everything

[clegfly]

ok so for context on the DUMB we have a dedicated queen spam thread and we had this bit where we started writing covers of songs where we made the lyrics about queen because fucking Awesome . someone made one for ruler of everything by tally hall. and then @quicksilversnails actually went and made a queencover of ruler of everything, appropriately titled "hooer of everything" and it's maybe the only thing ever made

Visit Original Link

[tiktoks-i-enjoyed]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

anon hater just accused me of (among other things) "encouraging kids to install malware on their parents' computers". I don't remember ever doing that but it sounded like a fun concept for a post so here are some ideas for things to install on your parents' computers!

a custom DNS resolver that blocks access to Fox News and other right-wing propaganda outlets

a keylogger to capture the admin password for your router so you can disable parental controls

a VPN or a virtual machine running the Tor browser to bypass access restrictions and age verification checks

your own "parental controls" browser extension, set up to send you notifications if your parents visit websites that indicate they might be spying on you (e.g. Life360)

a userscript that adds a fake virus warning popup to the donation pages of fascist political parties

have fun! make sure to do loads of reading and learn how things work so you can break them safely and effectively!

oh, and anon, my advice to you is never stab a man who collects knives

[medievaljournalist]

making a pilgrimage to tumblr & getting conned by a blogger claiming to sell scraps of the shroud of pjackk

[batgirlteeth]

do bunnygirls smoke out of a boing

[byjove]

The masculine urge to become a mountain man. Only come off the mountain twice a year to get supplies. Farm and harvest and hunt and build everything else. Talk to myself constantly. Stop coming into town for a few years after the age of 76. The sheriff finally comes up to check on me and finds the door to my shack wide open and my skeletonized body lying in bed, tucked up under the covers. They all forgot my name so they just put ‘Mountain Man’ on my tombstone. Shack left to decay but I’m not quite done having fun. My ghost lures lost hikers in and makes them keep me company. They come off the mountain rambling about the crazy old man in the hand hewn log cabin with fire in his eyes and leaves on the floor. I was alone in life but I don’t want to be lonely in death.

[byjove]

Whew guys sorry about that! Had a funny turn for a moment. Back to normal now.

[byjove]

You’re partially correct. This needs a gay subplot.

I was in love with another mountain man who lived on the other side of the mountain. We both liked being alone but sometimes it was alright to be alone together. His arthritis got bad and he couldn’t chop wood for himself anymore. Eventually his niece came to take him to the big city and put him in a nursing home. He didn’t want to go. I never saw him again. That’s why I died alone in my bed and not his.

[byjove]

If you asked Todd, he would know my name. 93 years old, blind as a bat with arthritis so bad he can’t move his fingers, rotting away in that horrible place his niece put him. He’d know. A smile would come to his dry lips to think of me, his fellow mountain man. He can no longer see but in his mind he sees me the way I was, in overalls with my rifle over my shoulder hunting squirrels. He knows my name but he dares not speak it. The words on my grave a more worthy epitaph. I wait for him on the mountain. None of the hikers that stumble in are ever him. He’ll return shortly, I’m sure. I’ll make him coffee on the wood stove one day. We’ll share some venison. He’ll come back from the holler. I know he will.

[byjove]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

in hindsight, growing up as an aromantic person who didn't know aromanticism was a thing...it woulda been really easy for me to assume that something was wrong with me, that I was "broken" or "missing" some piece of humanity.

luckily I was autistic, oblivious, and had a huge ego. it literally never occurred to me to frame it as a "me" problem. i just thought every single person i knew was a dumbass

[panic-at-the-aromantic]

redstonedust AND biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist are aromantic??? are all the famous tumblrinas aromantic??

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

OKAY LISTEN

[assporn]

My favorite thing about these posts, especially with bgp, is that someone roasts them and they respond

[reblogging---stuff]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT NICE TO YOU PEOPLE

[eraserheadadult]

can i be real with you i'm gonna start biting people

[replicated]

i'm not really into blondes but this is an objectively absurd connection to make

[not100bees]

In order to be properly non-pedophilic you have to want to fuck somebody old but not with gray or white hair because that's too close to blonde which as we've established is the hair color of children. So ideally somebody old as fuck but bald. And obviously wanting to have sex with a man is misogynistic so it has to be a woman. And it can't be a white woman because that would be racist and it can't be a woman of color because that would be fetishistic, so ideally a woman with some unnatural skin color, oh let's say, purple. But it can't be an alien, because we don't know anything about alien life cycles so it could be an alien child or an alien that looks like a child. So it has to be an animal from Earth, but obviously one of human level intelligence that can communicate is otherwise that would be bestiality. So an old purple female animal that can speak English. I think the only creature you can be hot for is the Ant Queen from A Bug's Life.

[kholdseid]

[feefal]

Gold, Silver, and Bronze!🥇🥈🥉

Now as sisters and with a complex sibling dynamic.

[feefal]

did you know 24k gold is so soft you can scratch it with a fingernail? Because bronze knows