hello awesome sauce spiderlings what is all of your guys’ favorite shows
also which five nights at freddys characters would you guys be. lucio doesnt need to answer because he is obviously freddy fazbear
(Kira, the ‘PR Rep’ of sorts, announces the arrival of the ask in the House of Spiders lounge.)
“Come on! Come on! We got an ask, people!” Kira beckons her fellow Apprentices towards the red velvet couch where she hogs up the cushion space.
From all different corners of the room, the Apprentices slowly gather. Some are noticeably more reluctant than others.
“Hurry it up! I’ve started rolling already!” Kira demands. Sora settles on the armrest of the couch. Albina tenderly rests her sword, Fascia, against the wall before standing behind the couch.
Ren sits on the other armrest, farther away from the camera. Lucio joins Albina with a sigh.
“Say your favorite shows!” Kira prompts.
“Fine, you bums, I’ll go first,” Kira rolls her eyes. “Well, generous asker, I really like a lot of animes and comics, but one I really like from your side of the City would be Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure!”
Kira begins to blabber. “I mean, I know it’s not the craziest piece of work, but the themes of friendship in it go sooo hard, and it’s so funny too! I love the Stand designs and stuff and I binged the show in, like, two weeks with my Uncle Ricardo. Plus I’m basically Jo—“
“Hm,” Albina taps her chin. “I was expecting you to say a more… undignified sort of media, Kira.”
“What’s that even supposed to mean?! I don’t watch goreslop like you— stop projecting onto me! And say your favorite show.”
“Er…” Albina muses. “I’m not too much of a ‘show’ viewer, you could say, but I enjoy media such as The Pitt.”
“I thought you liked killing people, not saving them,” Kira counters.
“That does not mean I cannot appreciate well-made depictions of intense, gory scenarios that show development in the persons solving them.”
“Ugh, boring. Next… Lucio! You go.”
“Ah…” Lucio, who appears to have been zoning out, tucks some stray hair behind his ear. “I don’t watch many shows, admittedly.”
“Yes you do,” Kira scoffs. “With me.”
“…Very well then,” Lucio blinks. “I suppose I enjoy that show about the animals represented as cans… ah, right. Cannimals. They are cute and rather stupid, which, I suppose, adds to their charm as these can animals—“
“Pardon… did you say ‘Cannibals’?” Albina perks up, a tiny smile on her face.
“Ugh, ignore her,” Kira presses her finger to Albina’s mouth. “Why not… I dunno… The Sopranos, Lucio? Like, come on. That’d be so on brand—“
“That is akin to suggesting that your favorite show ought to be Revenge, or the P Corp. equivalent to The Count of Monte Cristo, because the Middle hyperfixates on Vengeance,” Ren interjects, checking his nails. His tone is rather brazen. “Can not a humble man such as Lucio enjoy the innocent depictions of animals, decorated as cans, simply navigating the struggles of life that impact us all?”
“Is Shakespeare really dead?” Kira’s eyes widen. And then she immediately laughs Ren’s words off. “Just talk about your favorite show already, you nerd.”
“My humble self enjoys The Sopranos,” Ren folds his arms.
A beat. And then Ren adds:
“You’re not gonna tell us more?” Kira blinks.
“Ought I to? I don’t enjoy wasting time, Kira.”
“Oh, come on. What makes it such a good show, huh?”
“Intersection of crime with daily life, and how that impacts achieving one’s goals.”
“No way,” Kira mumbles. And then she locks eyes with Sora. “You next, Index.”
“O-Oh! That rhymes!” Sora inches closer into the view of Kira’s camera. “The Prescript had me w-watching Madoka Magica. So that’s my favorite show!”
“A feasible answer,” Albina quips. “Are we all settled with this recording—“
“No. Let me read it again,” Kira squints at the screen depicting the question.
“I told you all to watch my FNAF videos! I told you! I told you!” she points to the various apprentices, most of whom had ignored her pleas. “Now we gotta answer this!”
“How, pray tell, do ‘FNAF’ and answering internet questions intersect?” Ren sighs, folding his arms.
Kira presents her iPad, which depicts the question above. Lucio’s eyes widen.
“What…” he mutters, incredulous. “Is a Freddy Fazbear?”
“Oh my goooshhh bro,” Kira grumbles. “He’s literally the ringleader of the animatronics! Now hurry up and say which character you are so I can send this recording off!”
“I… don’t quite recall the characters—“ Ren begins, only to be cut off by Albina.
“Ren is Bonnie,” she declares, her voice akin to that of an animatronic given her prostheses. “I find both to be masking an aggressive interior due to their… unsuspecting appearances.”
“What?” Ren’s eye twitches. “My humble self would much rather prefer you to discuss your own ‘FNAFsona’, Albina.”
“I, Albina, find myself to reflected in the Marionette,” Albina places a hand on her chest as Kira turns the camera towards her. “I should have you know that I am a woman dedicated to my craft—one some find quite sadistic— yet I harbor no ill will to those who have aided me in creating it.
“Show your sword,” Kira teases.
Albina brandishes a skeletal sword with an interior full oozing with human flesh and bits of brain. Ren pinches his nose, respectfully.
“It is now Sora’s turn,” Albina motions towards Sora, who is standing behind the lounge couch.
“O-Oh! Hi, camera!” she presumably smiles, her smile hidden behind her golden shackles. “The P-Prescript said I was Chica from the series you were talking about!”
“That checks out,” Kira remarks, before turning the camera towards herself. In the background Lucio can be seen practicing his bartender skills, attempting to form the base of a drink. “Y’know, I think I’m Foxy. I can look just like a pirate and I looovee chatting with people! I’m also super fun to be around.”
“Foxy is not ‘fun to be around’,” Albina retorts.
“Shut it, Albina,” Kira grits her teeth, lowering the camera. And with that, the recording ends.
Shows: ren likes the sopranos, Albina likes the Pitt, Lucio likes Cannimals, Kira likes jojos bizarre adventure, and Sora likes Madoka magica
Kira is foxy, Albina is the marionette, Bonnie is ren, and Sora is chica! Thanks for the ask! :D
