*Fuck*

//Jay || He/Him || fight me \\

[guiltygirl]

i like to pretend i’m emotionless but i have at least 200 mood swings a day

[syrenki]

[sweatermuppet]

don't worry honey you stay in bed I'll cook breakfast *sounds of heavy machinery running for 45 minutes & i return covered in coal dust, holding two plates of perfectly cooked eggs, bacon, & toast*

[ponyoisms]

t shirt that says YOU DONT UNDERSTAND MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD and the back says NEITHER DO I

[ponyoisms]

t shirt that says YOU DONT UNDERSTAND MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD and the back says NEITHER DO I

[skelli-thins]

The masculine urge to be nothing but a raccoon on the side of the road, grateful for a quick and painless death and slowly rotting away while the cars simply pass by, barely acknowledging my fragile existence

[plotweaver]

WHERE is the post where someone talks about their really cool aunt and she’s got these rules about gifts where it’s like, “if I can’t drink it, eat it, read it, or smoke it, I don’t want it”?

‘Cause I’m kinda getting discouraged buying people crap when it’s likely that they won’t use it. I feel like I’m shit at gift giving. But everybody wants stuff they can eat/drink/actually use, right?

[googlemenot-deactivated20230921]

[the-emblematic]

Tag yourself. I’m “sets low personal standards and constantly fails to achieve them”

[funny-tik-toks]

[ko-is-an-insomniac]

Cain and Abel

[sharkswithsocks]

The Cain Instinct

[idratherhavefreedom]

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[toast-ranger-to-a-stranger]

The best thing for me, as an ex- Starbucks employee, is the horror that genuinely is the milk delivery when it’s only you and one other shift member. Though, I did end up learning how to carry six individual gallons of milk at once.

[nekocat44]

[thefoggygolem]

Also that change from Customer Service ™®© voice back to normal to informal joking-threats is amazing

[gomi-chandesu]

Yeah the whiplash from “Hi welcome to starbucks how can I help you! :)” to “I’LL FUCK YOUR WIFE” killed me.

[drtanner]

MILK.

DELIVERY.

[oops-prow-did-it-again]

Almost pissed myself laughing reading this addition holy shit

[alecscudder1987]

reblog to give the person you reblogged this from a sword

[fishingboatproceeds]

Tumblr, you’ve been nice today, so please enjoy the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

(Photo credit to hobbitnow.)

[heritageposts]

date of origin: 24th of october, 2013.

[isuggestfuckingme]

They should of denied him cock as punishment for posting this

[heritageposts]

you can’t deny a man his favorite flavor simply for making a bad post. that’s going too far

[itoldyouthings]

reminder to all 14-19 year olds girls. that grown man does not like you. you are a victim

[morinover]

“in that instant it becomes clear to me that I am not in control of my own life, that none of us are, that the very notion of control is ridiculous. A man in a suit boards a train bound for White Plains, makes sure he catches the 7:05 so he will be sufficiently early for his appointment, and as the train departs from Grand Central, he is sitting in his seat reading his newspaper, feeling self-assured and calm, and everything is fine until that train hits a snag on the tracks—a broken joint in the rails, a loose bolt, who knows?—and derails, and he is thrown from his seat and killed instantly, dies with the same, smug look on his face. It was beyond his control. Something like this happens every day. Every minute. A train crashes. An airplane plummets to earth. […] A land mine, an earthquake, a calamity. Life is merely a numbers game, a series of odds, and eventually we all lose. To think otherwise is foolish. But if we didn’t, why would anyone ever bother getting out of bed in the morning?”

— “Gray”, by Pete Wentz (chap. 21) (One short sentence removed for spoilers)

[stankyleg-deactivated2918973]

I hope black girls with depression have a good day today.

[sativablacksage]

I hope black girls with Anxiety have a great day today

[pussysoupforthesoul-deactivated]

I hope my black girls with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder have a great day

[eclipsebykimlipmp3-deactivated2]

i hope my black girls w personality disorders and PTSD have a good day today

[hrtvampire]

I hope black girls with ADHD and/or autism have a good day

[thehotgirlproject]

I hope black girls suffering from chronic pain have a good day

[enbyezzie]

I hope black girls with or without any kind of illness have a great day

[browsedankmemes]

Please leave me alone

[morinover]

“in that instant it becomes clear to me that I am not in control of my own life, that none of us are, that the very notion of control is ridiculous. A man in a suit boards a train bound for White Plains, makes sure he catches the 7:05 so he will be sufficiently early for his appointment, and as the train departs from Grand Central, he is sitting in his seat reading his newspaper, feeling self-assured and calm, and everything is fine until that train hits a snag on the tracks—a broken joint in the rails, a loose bolt, who knows?—and derails, and he is thrown from his seat and killed instantly, dies with the same, smug look on his face. It was beyond his control. Something like this happens every day. Every minute. A train crashes. An airplane plummets to earth. […] A land mine, an earthquake, a calamity. Life is merely a numbers game, a series of odds, and eventually we all lose. To think otherwise is foolish. But if we didn’t, why would anyone ever bother getting out of bed in the morning?”

— “Gray”, by Pete Wentz (chap. 21) (One short sentence removed for spoilers)