Snow Monkey @jazzncrowd - Tumblr Blog

I was looking for a Halloween costume for work and HOLY FUCK

I didn’t know johny & his family live with a giant ice cream monster. Also why is johny’s dad saying breakfast is bad???

trashboat

i’m trying to decipher what makes this video so intoxicating

the electric piano/piano instrumental fills are so… groovy for no reason

johnny takes a bath by pouring water out of a bucket onto himself in front of the bathtub

the ice cream monster’s voice

the fact that the ice cream monster sleeps in his bed with him

he doesn’t have teeth so he’s brushing his gums

the way he says “hello”

his mother and the ice cream monster watch him clearly lie about eating breakfast and help him keep it under wraps

still not clear on why he has to lie about eating breakfast

th4nkyoub3n

how is he eating a sandwich with no teeth

mens-rights-activia

From the other video, you can see that he is the only one in his classroom without teeth

virusmnd

where are these all coming from and why do they exist

futurez-deactivated20200514

You’re not asking for too much you’re just asking the wrong person

venusflwr

why did it take me so long to realize?

benchowmein

me vague posting on Facebook when my friends and family won’t give me a $1500 cash gift for my wedding

robbstark-archive-deactivated20

just once i wanna put the blade of my sword under a pretty boy’s chin and tilt their head up so i can see both fear and arousal in their eyes is that too much to ask

carlottagiudicellivevo

moved-to-korrigantsionnach-deac

I want a story about a king whose son is prophesied to kill him so the king is like “whatever what am I supposed to do, kill my own kid wtf is wrong with you” so he just raises him as normal, doesn’t even tell him about the prophecy, and instead of some convoluted twist of events that leads to the king’s murder the son grows up and when the king is very old and dying and in excruciating pain the kid is just like alright I'mma put him out of his misery.

femonologue

The king’s son becomes the new king, and is prophesied to defeat evil and bring an age of prosperity. His generals and knights all crack their knuckles but he pretty much ignores them and focuses on strengthening the infrastructure of his kingdom. Forty years later he is old and sick but still hearing his subjects’ grievances, and a general’s like “how will you defeat the prophesied evil now? You’re old and weak.” Another visitor, a teenager fresh out of the kingdom’s public education system, looks at the general like he is an ignoramus. The king eradicated poverty, housed the homeless, taught the ignorant, ended class exploitation by abolishing the nobility and imprisoning the corrupt, and established a highly respected guild of doctors that recently figured out how to cure the plague. There are no brigands because there is enough wealth for everyone to live comfortably; hiding in the woods and taking trinkets from people simply doesn’t make any sense for anyone but the desperate, and the people are not desperate. Evil is a weed, explains the teenager. It grows in cracked roads and crumbling houses and forgotten corners, rooted in indifference and watered by suffering. But the king demands that broken things be mended and suffering people be made well.

No evil lives in this kingdom, says the teenager. It starved to death before I was born.

femonologue

Every once in a while, when I’m feeling down, I go and look at the notes on this post and they make me feel a lot better. This is the energy I want to carry into 2018.

esichovequechova

one-in-lemillion

The lack of sound is… unsettling. It forces you to take in the absolute chaos for what it is.

eyeballing

@jokin-around

nest-deactivated20181209

my favorite grindr meeting was the time a guy who was like 20 invited me over to his house and i got there and he messaged me “i’m showering but the door is open so just come in” so i did and i sat down on a sofa in his living room and joanna newsom was playing lightly over the speakers and there were a lot of potted orchids everywhere and there was a large bronze male nude in the dining room that i could see from where i was sitting in the living room. eventually he came downstairs and sat at the other end of the sofa from me and started eating a large tupperware container of watermelon and he was like “listen, i’m trying to get this thing off the ground, like, some new gay slang. ive started saying ‘imagine’ whenever something is really weird or funny. do you think you could start using it?” and i was like “……ok” and eventually he finished his watermelon and wordlessly offered the container of watermelon juice to me and i was like “no thanks” and he was like “sorry, thought you seemed like the type of guy to drink the juice after you finished the watermelon” and then he said he had to go to a miz cracker show and asked me to leave. we did not fuck.

concerao

Laughed so hard at this

cliquesx

OH FUCK! SHIT HAD ME WEAK!!! 😂😂😂😂

shegotistical

I just watched The Blob for the first time and not to spoil it but cold is the only way to stop it so they ship it to the arctic. And these old B movies get a lot of flack for not actually being scary but the last line of the film was that the blob can’t be killed but at least it’s stopped “so long as the arctic stays frozen” and lemme tell you that is THE most terrifying line a viewer in 2018 could hear.