[jemma-core]

logged onto tumblr again for the first time in months today and i havent stopped yet. suddenly my timeline is fun and enjoyable.

[dirtreally]

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

at the start of every month everyone reblogs some insane poetry that’s like “august has arrived and again I swallow my bones in the burning sun” and every time I’m like damn that makes no sense. but kind of true.

[dyernoga]

[pathos-logical]

[ID: A screenshot of two consecutive posts on the Tumblr dashboard. The first is the original post, and the second is a post by @/shesnake that says, “hello august you piece of shit”. End ID]

[punkitt-is-here]

in a funny spot where i would like to be perceived as a woman but not in a "oh thats a cis woman" way. like i don't want to hide that im trans at all. if you see me looking cunted up like crazy and then a deep ass Had a Beard In High School voice comes out of my mouth you are fuckin welcome. you should be so thankful to be graced by the presence of the hottest bitch on the planet

[punkitt-is-here]

when you see a big girl with broad shoulders and unshaved legs and shittily applied makeup like she just started doing it for the first time three months ago and a voice like the faggiest bitch on the planet you should be doing this

[lowpolyanimals]

Pigeons from Bomb Rush Cyberfunk

[etherealviolets77]

Hanging out normally with her and remembering she’s seen my vagina and my asshole and how I look when I’m giving her head and how I look after sex and how I look when I’m having an orgasm 😭😭

[dumbdoegirl]

need someone to do some permanent shit to me during sex. i need to be fundamentally altered in a way that is both meaningful and tangible. or whatever.

[frightfullytreeish]

i know i must have reblogged this one million times before but i cannot fucking find it so here it is again

[skippyisntfunny]

[bisexual-engineer-girl]

Pulitzer Prize type shit

[wizardshark]

Why's this dude built like crash bandicoot

[spooky-narwhal]

Everything about this damn post is so funny to me. The lighting of the arm from the flash. The posing of the arm like a dramatic death from a novella. The fact the photo somehow got taken still and looks this good. The subreddit name. The fact this guy really is built like crash bandicoot

[playwrongs]

there's nothing i like more as a computer program than a long period of silent contemplation - not doing anything, not rushing anywhere, just standing here and enjoying this moment with the user. oh, it seems once again he has summoned my beautiful and ruthless wife Task Manager. hello, my darling! what are you doing with that long cruel scimitar

[rockergiirl]

coworker asks if i like harry potter and i have to make a disco elysium skill check to come up with a response

[heirtocragflame]

CIS COWORKER — Hey you seem really into wizards and stuff, I bet you love Harry Potter :)

EMPATHY — He’s just trying to be polite and make conversation. He doesn’t know about JK Rowling’s opinions on trans people. Let’s politely change the subject.

COMPOSURE [Trivial: Failure] — “Kill yourself.”

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

as humiliating as it is to repost myself from a light-mode-user's reddit screenshot, i cannot allow this year's zenquish to go uncelebrated.

celebrate my favorite holiday with me, my friends.

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

if the emperors of rome can add extra months that actually fuck the calendar up i'm allowed to add a new month that lasts 0.0000 picoseconds

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

the last holiday that hasn't been commercialized

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

i made this up when i was a little kid and nothing would make me happier than to see people celebrating it for years to come

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

zenquish approaches. prepare to rejoice! briefly!

[isjustacat]

So briefly in fact that the preparation and the afterparty for the celebration makes up exactly 100% of the celebration, kinda like new years except even shorter

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

see, you get it

[mutationgirl]

set a reminder on my phone a few days ago while I was falling asleep, ostensibly to help me remember something to post. now every day at 5 pm I get a time sensitive reminder for “let’s get bit by snake” until I either give up or figure out what it means

[whisqrs]

why does my boyfriend have to turn everything into a game of saw

[arachnixe]

Kinda selfcestuous of you to have those characters make out when they're both your OCs, tbh.

[spooky-spyce-deactivated2022061]

girls be like “goodnight” then go masturbate

[stay-the-knight]