Hello friends! Let's talk about dating for a brief moment. Now, I don't publicly talk about this usually, because it's personally a sensitive and private topic for me. But I feel like some things just need to be said right now. In my almost 37 years of life, it really took me this long to figure out what I've been doing wrong since I started dating at 14. What it really comes down to for me in my own personal experiences is...YOU ATTRACT WHAT YOU ALLOW. That has mainly been my problem the past 23 years. I had no self-worth or confidence. And how is someone else supposed to love you properly if you don't even love yourself? I've come to realize that you have to be okay with being alone first. Your world should not revolve around someone else. Finding love should just be an added bonus to your life, not your entire existence. And if you don't have your life together, then you will attract people in the same category as yourself. I've learned that you have to be a better version of yourself if you truly want to find decent people to potentially date. I always settled and had no boundaries set in place, because I felt like I couldn't do any better than what was already in front of me. Therefore, I kept finding people that felt too comfortable with using and abusing me in different ways, because I subconsciously allowed it because I feared rejection and abandonment. But sometimes, you just have to let people go, no matter how much it hurts. You may have liked the idea of them and what could have been...but if what they are continuously showing you (especially in those first 6 months) doesn't line up with what they're promising to give to you, then they are not worth your precious time. Now don't get me wrong, I've dated some wonderful people as well that simply turned into a friendship because we were just not compatible in many ways. The spark just wasn't there on both ends, and we just wanted completely different things, and that's okay. But my main point is, it's okay to be single. Don't rush love just because you desire companionship. Don't accept the bare minimum just because you are lonely. Just focus on yourself and when it's your time, it'll happen naturally. If you find yourself having to change who you are and what you like just to please someone else, then they are most likely not your person. If you're feeling constantly anxious and unsure of how someone truly feels about you, then they are definitely not your person. The right person won't make you feel confused and insecure. The right person will add positivity to your life and will gently encourage you to follow your dreams and do better for yourself. They will accept your flaws, but not your negativity, and will want to see you succeed in life. If your mood frequently shifts based on something someone said or did, then they are not your person and you're also not healed enough to be in a serious relationship. These are just some things I've learned about myself from my past experiences. And I can definitely admit that sometimes I was the problem, because I was allowing bad people to do bad things to me because I didn't love myself enough to let go and focus on achieving my goals first before jumping into another relationship. I'm now confident that my time will eventually come, but for right now, I refuse to keep settling and putting myself in messy situations just because I desire companionship. And the older I get, the more I truly do enjoy my own company. If any of you truly know me, you know that that's huge progress for me! Anyways, that is really all I had to say...lol Have a wonderful day besties!!! ☺️😘🫶🫂
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