graduate of clown university

what a time to be alive

[lesvegas]

passing in public makes me feel like white shrek

[lesvegas]

literally how it feels

[welpnotagain]

[galetops]

this is a foundational text to me i can’t believe it hasn’t even cracked 4k retweets

[prokopetz]

All right, hold on – is there anyone in this room who wasn't grown in a tube by a shadowy quasi-governmental conspiracy as a living weapon? Anyone at all?

[je-blauge]

Mine was a sphere

[psych-is-the-name]

you guys got your own containers? I was grown in a high-capacity vat with the rest of my batch

[wretchedsnek]

Bougie mf over here with a high-capacity vat acting like they were soooo much worse off than those of us grown from the fucking SOIL

[digitaldiscipline]

Fuck y'all, I'm going back to the ditch ooze.

[copperbadge]

I think I might be in the wrong meeting room but I brought cookies if anyone wants one.

[eraserheadadult]

i love that the editor made a meme for demonstration purposes

[everydaylouie]

heatwave

[gunsandfireandshit]

[targetedknowledge]

[alex-and-nova420]

made this into a gif bc i liked it so much. shark Denied

[southernsp00ki3s]

[evilwizard]

attention acolytes! in order to maximize shareholder value, i will be turning all of you into gold statues, frozen in twisted spasms of pain for all eternity, in a great and lifeless mausoleum. we expect to eke out a marginal gain in Q3

[brainscrems]

And how does this increase shareholder value O Great and Powerful Dark One?

[nerathul]

Obviously we can add the statues to our assets while also cutting down on employee expenses.

[brainscrems]

I see! This sounds like a sustainable business practice and I have no further questions.

[evilwizard]

yes! im so good at Company

[bunnywand-z]

*pointing to an american* you know that thing would eat you if you were a yummy burger, right??

[chiarrara]

why was messi lowkey serving saddam hussein hiding spot

[skimble-shanks-the-railway-cat]

People don’t post about the Skull like they used to

[skimble-shanks-the-railway-cat]

The haunted skull, specifically

[greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou]

you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up

You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid

[whyenn-reader]

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Left for a week and almost missed the historic event of Tumblr Sexyman Final Voting.

[allegedly-human]

nothing is more tumblr than having a tumblr sexyman wiki and then warn you to not find some of those men sexy because it's problematic

[beardedmrbean]

Periscope up

[birds-in-posts]

Green heron (Butorides virescens)

[furryprovocateur]

boobs is better than titties as a word because boobs is bouba while titties is kiki

[pinyatapix]

read this post and this is all i can ever imagine from it

[official-linguistics-post]

official linguistics post