Also I tried to make this where it doesn’t matter when your birthday is
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Bought you the Chanel N5 advent calendar(if you can’t buy it year round, pretend) thinking that it would be a fun way to excite you for your birthday. Every morning he has to give you a kiss to compensate for the shitty item.
-kuroo, iwaizuimi, bokuto, hanamaki
Made a bunch of envelopes that you’re supposed to open for different occasions (if you’re sad, tired, in need of a hug, etc.) and when they were carrying them to your door, it started pouring rain, successfully ruining all of the letters. You both spent the rest of the afternoon blow drying them.
- bokuto, yachi, lev, akiteru, yamaguchi
Prepared a hot bath for you, filled with flower petals and color. He was planning on sitting on the toilet seat and talking with you, maybe even getting in the tub wi- you kicked him out of the bathroom, thanking him only after you had successfully pruned.
- oikawa, tendou, atsumu, sugawara
He went to the mall on Black Friday to buy your gifts, hiding them after he got home. You ended up finding them when looking through your closet, way before your birthday. When confronted about it, he said it “was for his boss”. Yeah, that Victoria’s Secret pajama set would be perfect for them. In your size.
- tanaka, asahi, osamu, kenma
Planned the most elaborate party ever, inviting everyone they knew, only to write the wrong date on the invitation letter. You two ended up eating the cake alone, embarrassment evident on their face.
it’s doing some weird thing with the indentation so ignore that
This includes: Akaashi, Akiteru, Kuroo, Mattsukawa, Oikawa, Osamu, Tsukishima
1030 words (total)
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Akaashi (he has a crush on you): Your whole home room class was sent to this weird place where they made you fall asleep and they bathed you so you smelt super good and dressed you to fit yourself in the way they saw fit. Then you would be put into a capsule with someone and would have to stay there for 12 hours. He (surprise surprise) got in a capsule with you, and despite you guys being casual friends prior to this field trip, you became really close. after: He felt so content with his dream that he went and wrote it down in the best detail he could give, with diagrams and everything. Let's just hope no one stumbles across his diary.
Akiteru (y'all have been dating for 2 years) : You and him had to do one of this creepy haunted house things that have cameras and are put on social media and you have to do it one at a time, the others watching from the TV in the lobby. You went first, which helped him prepare for what was coming, but the sight of you screaming and running for your life was so heart wrenching for him that he peed his pants and drove home. When you left the creepy part, drenched in sweat yet laughing your head off, you cried, seeing that your boyfriend had left you. after: He was so scared after waking up that he had to call you and for you to reassure him that it was just a dream and you didn't hate him for leaving you
Kuroo (you sit next to him in like all of your classes)(this sounds kinda creepy but idc) : You were working on your homework in class, the fan and light teaming up to make you glow in slow motion, batting your eyes flirtingly at him. You asked for reassurance on a particular question you were struggling with, your voice playing from a speaker in his head. He agreed with a smirk as he took your paper, only to see that it was written in a foreign language he did not know. He turned back to you in confusion. Your face started to melt from the light's heat, the fan blowing your beautiful hair follicles straight onto him. after: He took one of his pillows and, with a smile on his face, started baby talking to it, as if it were you. "Oh, you want your hair back? Well, you'll have to come and get it from me." He gushed while making kissy noises. Math and science are now awkward.
Mattsukawa (you, Makki, and him are best fries) : You two were driving around in a fire truck, you giving him random directions. Your goal was to reach a McDonald's with no GPS. It was currently 5:00 in the morning and you guys had been driving for hours, talking about everything under the sun. You squeezed his hand, pointing to the golden arch illuminating your view. He pulled into the drive through, ordering before having to leave because "fire trucks aren't allowed in drive thrus🙄" You two drove to a truck stop and cuddled in the back, using a fire blanket and an owner's manual for support. after: he told you about the dream, leaving out the part about your PDA without the P. It's now something you reference regularly, leaving Makki confused every time.
Oikawa(you have one class with him and you sit on opposite sides of the room)(kinda ooc but whatever) : He, Iwaizumi, Mattsun, and Makki went to a cafe for the latter's birthday. You took their order, noticing how he was checking you out but thinking nothing of it. He told his friends to "watch and learn" as he followed you behind the counter and into the staff lounge. What you did with their order, no one will know. He made you sit on the couch with him while you two talked about the most random things. When he and you left, the store had closed up and you two were locked in there for the night. You laughed, saying that things like this happened all the time. He (again) followed you to the back door where you guys walked home. He gave you a kiss on your cheek and told him to call you. after: He saw you walking with your friends at school and waved to you. You raised and eyebrow, awkwardly waving back. He chuckled, looking over to Iwaizuimi. "Yeah, she's totally in love with me."
Osamu (you're Atsumu's best friend) (also I know nothing about this guy so please don't bully me🤣) : You guys were together in a group project, along with Atsumu. You, being more comfortable with the other Miya, talked more with him. Osamu noticed how close you guys were and felt helpless with where your and his relationship was going. (I feel like the narrator in Cailou) after: Even though it was a short dream, he laid awake thinking about what the different outcomes would be if he interacted with you in different ways. Needless to say, he got out of bed with a smile on his face, his mind filled with you and only you.
Tsukishima (you're one of his managers) : You and him were both told to close up the gym for the night, and you both tried to finish it as quickly as possible, knowing that you two had to work on a group project after. You wiped the floors while he took down the nets, finishing the job in about 10 minutes. You got your stuff and scurried home. Once at home, you both started on the project, deciding to sit by his open window and work. You were halfway done at around 10:30, telling him that you should probably head home. He walks you to your house, critiquing its look. after: he smacks his forehead, thinking of how stupid he sounded saying your house was "too panel-y".
f!reader, fluff, sorta suggestive cuz they talk about having stupid kinks, im bad at titles
~944 words~
A/n: I’ve noticed that I like writing these kinds of things, It's kinda like arguing with myself. I'll try not to do it too much but the temptat
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"You're tired, aren't you?" Mattsun looked up from his computer to his girlfriend.
"No, I'm fine. Are you?" She kept her focus on the screen as she conversed with him.
He grunted, pursing his lips as he looked at her think about what to type. "You wearing a new perfume baby?"
Y/n looked at him, sniffing her sleeve before shaking her head. "No-"
"Well you smell like fire." Mattsun said, rubbing his leg against hers. "Let's take a nap."
"But Issei, I'm almost done with this-"
"Y/n, it's due in 3 days. Give yourself a break." He stood up, turning off his computer and walking over to the bed. "Come here, maybe your fire flavored perfume can keep me warm."
"Perfumes don't have flavors, dummy." She laid down beside him, kissing his forehead.
"I don't know, Makki bought me this cologne the other day-"
"Issei!" She laughed, pulling him closer to her by his hips. "And, even if cologne is edible, that doesn't mean that perfume is."
"What do you mean? Perfume and cologne are literally the same thing, the only difference is their names." Mattsukawa laid near her chest, hooking his leg over her thighs.
"No, perfume has more perfume oil than cologne does."
He dead-panned. "Well obviously it's going to have more perfume oil if it's called perfume."
She started combing her fingers through his hair. "No you bozo, perfume is called that because it has the strongest amount of perfume oil compared to other types of fragrances."
"Again, obviously it's going to have the most perfume oil if it's called perfume. Just like how cologne has the most cologne oil."
"There's no such thing as cologne oil, Issei. You're just making things up to seem smart."
He looked up at her. "Then how come Oikawa was rubbing his cologne oil all over Iwaizuimi's nipples the other day? Hmm?"
She facepalmed. "I mean like an essence, not like something you can buy at the dollar tree. Pure perfume oil is really strong, so it gets diluted. Perfume has the most amount of pure perfume oil, while cologne has the least."
"You could've just told me that earlier instead of making it so complicated." He grumbled, hiding his face in her chest again.
"I'm sorry baby, I didn't know you wanted to know so badly. It's okay to have a perfume kink, I promise." She tugged on his hair slightly so he could see her hold up her pinky. "I won't tell anyone."
Mattsun looked shocked, his mouth wide open. "Uh- now look who's making things up on the spot to seem smart."
Y/n smiled triumphantly. "You just admitted to lying." She started singing. "Issei is a real big dummy-"
He put a finger to her lips. "Shush, Mr, Snuggles can't know that or he'll" -he leaned into her ear, whispering in a deeper voice- "he'll give me a toe fetish."
"A toe feti- what is wrong with that stupid elephant anyways? He's always trying to give you all these weird kinks."
Issei gawked. "You just tried to diagnose me with a perfume kink!"
"I didn't diagnose you, you were just... cómo se dice... showing symptoms."
"So being uneducated about fragrances is a symptom of having a perfume kink?" Mattsukawa sighed. "Doc, that brain of yours must be malfunctioning or something because that doesn't make any sense."
She smiled, rubbing his back. "You should call me Doc more often,"
"Wowwww, look at this bozo bean." He said, to no one in particular. "You're really trying to turn "Doctor" into a pet name?"
She shrugged. "I mean yeah, it's cute."
He furrowed his eyebrows, stroking his chin. "I can only think of using it as an insult though."
"You're only saying that because you love your perfume more than you love me!" She feigned offense and buried her head in his shoulder.
He put an arm around her. "Baby, if you're going to accuse me of something, at least be right. The only scent I use is my AXE body sp-"
She stifled a laugh. "Issei I swear-"
"What? I know you love my scent, omega." He bit his lip and howled at the same time, making Y/n laugh at the sight.
"Mattsukawa-"
"You mean Alpha?"
Her smile was evident on her face as she tried not to laugh. "Issei Mattsukawa, do not call me your omega."
"Or?"
"There's no 'or' this time, just stop doing it."
"Well I'm not going to do that, so I suggest you sleep so you don't have to hear me cooking our prey raw." He laughed when she hid her face with her hands.
"Fine, I'm going to go to bed. Good night."
"G'night, baby." He kissed her forehead, and then her cheek(face), and then her other cheek(face), and then the tip of her nose, and then on her eyelids, and then-
She held him by his chin, opening an eye. "I don't need your slobber all over my face while I'm trying to sleep."
"Sorry, my wolfess." He rubbed her back, watching as she cuddled closer to him. "I love you."
"Mmm, I love you too sweetheart." She kissed his chest. “And don’t think I didn’t notice you call me your ‘wolfess.’”
“What? If you want to have Doc as a pet name, then I want to have alpha and omega and wolfess as petnames.”
“Issei you better be joking.” She leaned back to look up at him.
With his lips thinned, he spoke out an “I'm not”, his voice muffled from trying not to smile.
She giggled. “I guess my perfume must've transferred to you.”
fluff, f!reader, aged-up because they are married, Kuroo admits to looking at your butt, nudity
~1719 words~
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"Hey Y/n, I'm back." Testurou walked into their house, calling out to his wife. "Where are you?"
"Hey Testu." She yelled back. "I'm in the shower right now."
"Can I join?" He asked as he made his way over to the bathroom.
"Um, sure! I was just going to go and do something, but you can join if you want." She tried to hide the cup of icy water behind her.
"Why do you have a drinking cup in the bathroom? Just drink from the hose." He pointed to the shower head.
"What? I'm not using this to drink water... I just forgot I was holding it." She sheepishly tried to leave the bathroom to go put it back, half-naked.
He grabbed her by her hips and hugged her, taking the cup. "Someone's pants are on fire. A-and they're not mine, so don't try that."
She laughed. "Tetsurou, just give it to me, I'm going to go and put it back."
"No, you had a reason for bringing it here. I just want to know why," He pouted. "What is this cup doing that I can't?"
"Tetsu!" She tried to take the hand that was still on her off, but his grip was too strong.
"No, I want to know what is so good about this cup!"
"It's just something I heard earlier and I wanted to try it. Not that big of a deal."
He gave her back the cup and kissed her neck. "Really? What are you trying babe,"
"It's just this thing to help my boobs, apparently."
"Oh really now?" She nodded. "Can I help?"
"Only if you go and get me some new ice." Y/n handed him back the cup full of melted ice.
Testurou kissed her forehead. "Okay, go hop in the shower for me kitten."
"I was planning on doing that 3 minutes ago," She mumbled as she finished taking off her clothes.
—
"K, I brought you a cup of ice wat- why'd you turn on the water?" He set the cup down and started undressing himself.
"Well, I mean it would be awkward to just do it with it off, so-"
"No, it's awkward to do it with it on." He corrected.
"Debatable."
"You only say things are debatable when you know you're wrong." He smirked as he brought the cups in. "You know what, I'll stay under the water and you can just stand in front of me."
"You are such a hypocrite, Tetsu." She stepped forward so he could stand behind her.
"Mmm, not really." He kissed her cheek and pushed her flush against his chest. "Wait, what am I supposed to do with the ice again?"
"Okay, so just wrap this cloth over the ice cube and go around in circles." She demonstrated.
He nodded, moving his head off of her to go and get the ice cube. "For how long?"
"Like a minute or two."
He furrowed his eyebrows as he wrapped it around the cloth. "If this only takes a minute, why are you making such a big deal out of it?"
"Uh- you were the one who wanted to help me!"
"I know, but I thought this was going to take a while." He pulled her closer to him, hooking his leg on top of hers. "Stop moving."
"I'm not moving at all, you are, green bean."
"I swear if I hear you call me that one more time-"
She laughed, kissing his cheek. "The ice is melting from how much you're putting this off."
"Um, that's not quite how it works Y/n-"
"And you’re still putting it off." She giggled, taking his free hand and placing it under her left breast. "Come on sweetheart, you can do it."
He paused right before he was about to put the cloth on her. "Don't you need to massage them or something?"
"Yeah, I did that while you were getting the ice."
"Well I think that you should do it again, they probably went back to normal by now." Kuroo casually put the ice away and went to go hold her tits.
"I don't think that's how it works-" He started playing around with her breasts. "Oh, I like that actually, do more."
He smirked, kissing her neck as his cold hands massaged her chest. "Maybe I should quit my job to be a professional massager."
"I'm pretty sure it's masseuse." She corrected as she rubbed his thigh.
"Too bad, now it's massager." He put his forearm underneath both of them so he could go get the ice.
"Here, I can hold this one while you do that one." She gently pushed his right arm away as she held the corresponding breast.
"Thanks kitten." He held the position with her nipple as he moved the ice cube in circles. "Am I doing it right, baby? You like this?" Testurou checked his skills by looking from right next to her ear, his voice quiet from having to deal with idiotic people all day.
She nodded. "Yeah, but stop pinching my boobs, you're hurting them."
"Oh, sorry about that." He moved to hold her by the base of her bust, letting the ice cube roam around the whole breast. "I can put them on your nipples, right?"
"Yeah, when I was reading about it it didn't say anything about it-" She gasped while her husband rubbed it directly on her nipple. "Tetsu, not so hard!"
"Oh, sorry-"
She laughed as she held her chest. "I told you not to!"
"In my defense, I heard a 'yeah', so I did it." He rubbed her sides. "Does it really hurt?"
"Yes it does, you just pushed an ice cube on my nipple!" She leaned back on his chest as she recovered. "I'll be fine in a second though, don't worry."
"Oh, okay." He kissed the areas he could reach while he waited.
"...Okay, I think I'm fine now." She said a couple seconds later. "Next time, let me finish what I'm saying before you decide to go all crazy, please."
He nodded, replacing the ice cube. "Do you want me to try your nipples aga-"
"No."
"Okay." He moved over to her right breast, moving in circles around it. "You know, I could get used to this."
"I don't want you to."
"Why not?" He looked offended as he continued to rub the cloth around her. "It's great, I get to spend time with my beautiful wife while she relaxes in my arms. What more could a guy like me want?" Tetsurou kissed her cheek.
She smiled, pressing her body even closer to him. "I guess that is a good point."
"I know they are, I was the one who said them."
"Tetsu let's not get ahead of ourselves. You say a lot of stupid things."
He gaped at her. "Kitten-"
"I'm sorry for being honest🙄"
"You're such a little brat, you know that right?" He put the cloth back. "Wait, what do you do after?"
"I have to lay down or something like that, I didn't finish reading it." She held her boobs as she stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around herself. "Here, give me the stuff, I'll put it away."
"No, go rest baby." He turned off the water and dried himself off quickly before leading her to the bed.
"But I'm wet-"
"So? I'll get you some towels to put under you." He laid one down on the pillow and two for her body.
"Thank you Tetsu, come here." She pulled him down for a kiss, holding him by his cheeks as he unwrapped her towel and patted her down.
"Hey, what are you doing," She said, her voice muffled as she continued to kiss him.
He pulled away so he could grab something. "Putting lotion on you." He squeezed the bottle and started rubbing it all over her body, paying attention to her breasts. "Once it dries you'll need to turn over so I can get the other side."
"Stop smirking Testurou." She grinned as she lifted her head so he could get her neck.
"Or?" He went over to their closet to get some clothes for the both of them.
"There wasn't an 'or,' I just told you to stop thinking about that."
"And how do you know my thoughts, huh?" He questioned as he kissed her again, turning her around so he could rub her back.
"I just do." She said plainly.
"Sure..."
"Like how I know you're looking at my butt right now,"
He paused, thinning his lips and looking over to the back of her head. "No I wasn't."
"Sure..."
Kuroo gave himself in. "So what if I was looking at your butt! I was just about to moisturize there anyways," He rolled his eyes while he squeezed out more lotion.
"Now look who's pants are on fire."
"Whatever." He laughed as he finished lotioning her body. "You're getting cuddles after this, hmm kitten?"
"I'm fine with that." She smiled. "Am I getting clothes after this or no-"
"No."
"I'm fine with that, too." She laid on her back as her husband kissed the top of her head.
"Do your boobies feel better now?" He whispered, patting her stomach.
"B-boobies?" She stifled a laugh.
"There can be different names for things, okay Y/n?" He responded, acting as mature as he could.
"I know that, but really? Boobies?" She started cackling, putting a hand on his chest.
"Hey, stop bullying me!" He blushed.
"I'm sorry, it's just really funny," She kept on laughing while he started playing with her tits again. She hummed, closing her eyes and pushing up her chest. "Tetsu, thank you for helping me out though, I know you're probably tired from work."
"It's okay, kitten, I had fun." He pushed one of her breasts up. "I'm a bit hungry though."
"Testurou Kuroo, I will punch you if you try that."
"Huh? I was thinking of ordering something."
"Oh, nevermind then. 'Thought you were talking about something else."
He put the pieces together. "Wowwww, I can't believe you think that I'm a child."
She rose an eyebrow. "Did you think I was calling you baby without a reason?"
fluff, f!reader, aged-up because they’re married and I tried to make it as non-suggestive as possible
~1531 words~
A/n: I do not know how to use the word deadpan correctly yet I still use it in almost every post also the title is really embarrassing but I couldn’t think of anything else to call it
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Y/n whimpered for the seventh time that night, fixing her position while holding her chest.
"Y/n baby, what happened?" Kei cooed as he rubbed her side.
"It just..." She squished her boobs, trying to find relief. "It just hurts." Tears pricked her eyes while little needles pricked around her nipples with no mercy.
"What does?" He knew that she had been in a lot of pain recently, but the darkness of their room provided him no clue as to which body part she was talking about.
She hissed in pain after pushing them a bit too hard. "My- my boobs."
"Oh." He laid his head on top of hers, looking down at his wife trying to massage herself. "Do you need any help with that, doll?"
Y/n looked up at him. "I mean, if you want to-"
"It's fine, it's not like I have anything important to do right now or anything." She scoffed. "Now scoot up a bit."
A couple seconds passed by before Y/n tapped his chest. "Well, are you going to help or not?"
"Oh, I thought you were going to tell me what to do."
"I am, but I need your hands to be over here." She rolled her eyes. He moved her hands near her chest, deciding to rest them on her shoulders while he rubbed her on top of the fabric. Y/n closed her eyes as she rolled up her night shirt and placed a hand on each boob, sculpting it to her liking.
"Your breasts are warm." He stated.
Ignoring him, she started explaining how to start. "Okay, so you want to put your thumb on the front part while the rest of your fingers squeeze the back part." She helped his hands get into the proper position. "Okay, now push and let go really fast so you're kind of jiggling them."
He did as he was told, the sound of her shirt rubbing against his arms the only sound present.
"The next thing is basically the same, but you want to take your non-thumb fingers and place them at the back and just push them up and down."
"Mmm, okay." Kei bounced her breasts for a bit, enjoying the comfort in knowing that his dumbass pretty girl was starting to feel better.
After a bit of that, she sighed and brought her hand up to his cheek. "Thank you sweetheart, you're helping a lot more than you realize."
He blushed a bit at the compliment. "Mmm, what's next?"
"Okay so you start with your hand almost at my back and then pull the skin (gently) towards the right breast and then push it inward." She put his hand in the starting position. He pushed his hand across her right side to the center of her chest until she told him that that step was done.
Kei moved his hands to her waist and groaned. "How much longer of this do we have to do? I thought this would've been quicker."
"Kei, this is literally the third step and you're already tired." She laughed, putting her hands on top of his. "Don't worry, I promise I'll hold you after this."
"How many steps are there?"
"I don't know, like 6 or 7?"
"Wha-"
Y/n brought her hand up to his face and patted his cheek. "They're really easy and won't take too long, I promise."
"Are you sure?" She nodded. "As long as you're happy." He checked his words before they left his mouth, careful not to hurt her while she was in pain.
"Um, so you do the same thing to the left one now." He took his other hand and massaged her left boob. "That's it, good boy," She praised as she closed her eyes and rose her chest up.
He pushed it back down with his other hand. "Calm down." Kei played with them both while he waited for further instruction.
She gasped as her eyes shut, mouth slightly. "K-keep doing that, please."
He smirked."See, this is why these stupid massages are stupid. Anyone can just make them up." His cold hands pushed her breasts up before squeezing them and pulling them inwards.
"Well, the woman in the article I read said that doctors thought her massages were great." She said before closing her eyes as he squeezed a particular spot that had been hurting.
He kept on massaging the area that had clearly been aching. "Is she a masseuse?"
"Well, no-"
"Then my point still stands." He smiled, happy that he won the small argument.
Y/n then brought up another point. "So what if she isn't a masseuse? Her methods work for me."
"That doesn't mean that they work for everyone though,"
"It's hard to do things that appeal to everyone, Kei. If her massages work for me, I'm going to use them. Got it?" He nodded, knowing that if he kept on arguing with her, she would just prove that she's right even more. "Thank you, baby, for helping me." Y/n yawned. "Here, do you want me to do the rest?"
That didn't stop him from acting petty. "You already forced me to do this, Y/n. Why couldn't you have felt bad 3 steps ago?”
"I did not force you to do this, you did it because you love me." She looked up at him.
"Well of course I'm going to want to help my wife if she's in pain, but that doesn't mean that I'm willingly doing it."
"Technically you did it willingly because if you really were forced you wouldn't still be squeezing my tits right now-" His hands flew off of her chest, going up to his head to run them through his hair. "Oh please, stop being such a baby." She took his hands and placed them back on her breasts.
He laughed as she fell for his plan. "See? You're literally forcing me to do this right now."
"Well you accused me of forcing you before I forced you, so it doesn't count."
"Yeah it does, you still did it." He leaned closer to her ear, blowing softly on it.
She flinched. "Kei, if I hear one more stupid word come from your mouth I swear-"
"Shut up Y/n, what's the next step."
"Okay so basically what you want to do now-" They both laughed. "-now you want to start from around my collarbone area and push down on them both."
He fumbled with her shirt as he tried to get up to her collarbone.
"Here, do you need me to take it off?" She started to sit on her elbows before Kei pushed her down again, this time gripping her breasts as he did it.
"No, because then you'll be cold and act even more like a brat."
"What is this shirt that's only covering my neck doing for me? I'll be fine, honey, don't worry." She took off her shirt, putting it next to them. "Now try."
He pushed down from her collarbone to her nipple on each side while he closed his eyes.
"Okay, we're almost done. Now-"
He opened his eyes, lifting his head up. "Are you serious?"
"Yeah... unless you want me to add more steps."
Kei scoffed. "There can't be very many ways to massage your breasts."
"Well we could do it with some oil that I bought the other day-"
"Um, no thank you." He checked the time. "Tell me the last thing, I'm tired."
She thought for a moment. "Wait, I think I forgot a step-"
He groaned. "What is it."
"You just have to push them towards my arm a couple times. I can do it, it's fine-"
He flattened his hand and pushed her boobs towards her arms. "Now the last thing?"
"Oh, just push them up."
"Like this?" Kei brought her breasts close to her face. She nodded. "Mmm, okay princess." He was fighting sleep at this point, the reward of Y/n cuddling him the only thing keeping him going.
"Are we done now?"
"Yeah, let me put my shirt back on really quickly and then I'll-" Kei hugged her tightly. "I'm not going anywhere honey, I'm just putting on clothes-"
"No one has time for clothes, hold me."
"I mean, if you say so" She turned on her side, letting him rest his head in between her boobs as she played with his hair.
"Thank you for helping me out, sweetheart." He grunted in response. She smiled, hooking a leg over him to get closer. "You know, this probably isn't the best position for me to be in right now, especially since I just massaged my tits-"
"Are you kidding me." His voice was mumbled as he deadpanned.
"It's okay, you can just help me again. Maybe this time we can get some oil- or maybe some ice, that sounds good too."
"You can go do that massaging stuff on your own time. I don't need to be there as well."
"Mmm, I'll find a way to drag you into it~"
"You better not even try to think about doing that."
I SAW THIS IN YOUR WIP AND I GOT SO EXCITED ANDND THEN I SAW IT IN LEESL LIFE TNST NLJY OU I LOFE THIVS COS MYCH ITS TBE CUTEST TJING AECER also I just realized that a lot of the characters I like are middle blockers BUT THIS JS THE BEST TNJ G EVERRR I REALLY AM HAPPY THST J STAYED UO NUST A BIT KOGNER BECAUSE WOW TJIS JS JUST X3 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯OWWWW
a/n: : I don't know if you can tell or not but there is no actual waffle achine also I wrote this when I was very tired
masterlist
Y/n walked back into Kei's room, sitting down on his bed and getting a cup of water.
He grimaced, scooting away from her. "What's wrong with you?"
"What?" She furrowed her eyebrows.
"You just brushed your teeth and now you’re drinking cold water." He stated as if it were obvious.
She laughed, putting it to the side and getting under the covers. "Why, is it suddenly illegal to drink water after cleaning your teeth?"
"No, it's just weird. It should be illegal though." Kei put his arm around her neck while she brought her knees closer to them.
"I don't think it's such a big deal, especially coming from someone who likes the smell of sharpies."
His eyes widened, lifting his hand up to defend himself. "Okay, I literally said that three months ago as a joke-"
Y/n looked up at him before closing her eyes. "I don't think you were joking, Kei."
"And how would you know if I was joking or not? Hmm?"
"Please, the way you were going on and on about how the metallic ones smelled like a new house was not something that someone would do as a joke." She buried herself deeper into his body, sighing. "Anyways, good ni-"
"My hands are cold." He blurted out, looking up at his ceiling. They honestly didn't feel too bad at the moment, he just wanted to be able to waste time with her for just a little bit longer.
"Here, come put them in my homemade waffle machine." She lifted one thigh up in the air.
He laughed quietly, patting the outer part of her leg. "How old is this thing?"
"Well, you know Kei, you should never judge a book by its cover."
He rolled his eyes, talking to the top of her head. "You literally do that all the time."
"Well I'm not talking about literal books, I'm using the expression." Y/n wrapped her arm around his stomach, stealing some of his body to put in her waffle machine.
"Ow, your stupid machine is burning me." Kei tried to scoot away from her.
"Well obviously its not going to be very nice to you if you insult it!" She laughed, taking one of his hands and resting them in between her thighs as she clenched and unclenched them. "Our waffle machine is a bit old, but it'll do the job."
Kei laughed at the sensation. "Wait, does this mean that my hands are the waffle?"
"...Was that not obvious before?"
"No!"
"That's just because the sharpie smell that you sniff way too much is infiltrating your brain functionality." She lifted her thighs, taking his left hand and bringing it up to her face. "Okay, one is done."
"That quick? Hmm, maybe I should come to your waffle shop more often." He tried to put his hand back down to his side, but she stopped him.
"Wait! I have to prepare it before I give it to you." She took his hand back and kissed each finger while she hummed. "Kei's waffle is almost done, but it still needs to get burned by the sun-"
"That doesn't make any sense." He said as he rolled his eyes.
"I can't come up with words on the spot, butthole. Who do you think I am?"
"You don't have even have a motto for your shop?” He laughed. “You know what, maybe I should just go and get my waffles done at the IHOP next door-"
"Wait wait wait wait!" She grabbed his hands and put them back under her thighs, squeezing them harder. "We're a small business who works very hard, and we give you jolly ranchers as a freebie!"
"I don't like jolly ranchers." He stated, trying to free his hands from her evil machine.
"W-well then we give away a handwritten note!"
"What are you going to write on it? 'Thanks for coming to our smelly shop, hope you liked your burnt hand!'?"
"Your hand is not burnt, we always keep a close eye on our machine."
"Then why has my right hand been under there for the past 5 minutes?" He questioned. "Also, I don't think that your machine is very sanitary, I can feel the last one’s stickiness all over my hands."
"That's on you, not us." She said as she took his right hand out and kissed it.
"I know it's on me, that's why I'm telling you about it." He took both of his hands away from her lips, placing them around her waist. "So now that I'm done, how much do I have to pay?"
"Well, that depends. How much do you want to pay?"
"Nothing. You were a horrible server and an even worse chef."
"No, you have to pay something."
"Fine." He looked around the room. "Oh, Akiteru made me this bookmark when he was 5-"
"No, I want something else." She smiled as she thought about it, reaching up to go kiss his neck.
"Yeah? And what is it?"
"Your loyalty.” She started speaking in a joyful manner. “You can sign up for our rewards program so that every time you warm up a certain amount of waff-"
"I can't with you anymore." He leaned down and kissed her gently, playing with her hands as she changed positions to get closer to his lips.
When he pulled away, she exhaled, feeling content as she laid her head back down on his chest. "Good night sweetheart, I hope you enjoy your freshly made waffles."
Wait I’m confused... does DNI mean to not interact with their posts or to not interact with the creator themself? Because sometimes I’ll see stuff that’s like “if you’re under __ then you can follow, but don’t interact.” But isn’t following interacting?
OKG THEREA A CAT LOKR. SR RHE FER DHO ECURE IT OSAW W KEDO JEEWRT I WANT TO MEV THERE TOO DO I CAN BLER THE PFLUFFFY CAT WAIT DOES ARAN HAVE A CARWOW WAIT IPNOW I WANT TO MARRY ARAN SO WE CAN HAVE A CAT DANCTUSRY TOGETHER ITSLL BE SO CURN
if they ever make a haikyuu beach episode i will cry so in the meantime please enjoy some haikyuu beach headcanons for karasuno
ALSO PLS SEND REQUESTS IM SO BORED
more kiyoko and yachi bonding 🥺
PLS SAND CASTLE WARS my bets on asahi and yachi those guys have mad art skills
hinata realizing that he wants to play beach volleyball
WHY IS TSUKKI GETTING SUNBURNED SO FUNNY TO ME LIKE MF JUST RED AND EVERYONE IS TRYING SO HARD NOT TO LAUGH
nishinoya catches a shark and everyone is concerned
asahi accidentally knocks down a kids sandcastle and both him and the kid start crying
YAMAGUCHI HAS MORE FRECKLES LIKE ON HIS BACK AND STUFF BUT HES TOO NERVOUS TO SHOW ANYONE BUT TODAY HE THINKS “these guys won't make fun of me” SO HE TAKES HIS SHIRT OFF AND HINATA IS JUST LIKE “WHOA THEY LOOK LIKE CONSTELLATIONS” AND YAMAGUCHI ALMOST CRIES CUZ HES ALWAYS BEEN MADE FUN OF FOR THEM
in the official art kiyoko and kageyama are on one team and yachi and hinata are on the other so cAN YOU IMAGINE THE UNTAPPED POTENTIAL KIYOKO AND YACHI HAVE LIKE YALL ARE LUCKY THEYRE NOT ON THE SAME TEAM CUZ ALL OF YALL WOULD HAVE BEEN DESTROYED
hinata and kageyama have a competition to see who can drink the most ocean water, long story short: kageyama swallowed a crab, hinata almost drowned and daichi was not impressed
tanaka and noya are each other's first kisses after a plan to get kiyoko to do mouth to mouth on noya failed causing tanaka to do mouth to mouth on noya
narita got swept into the ocean by a wave and no one noticed for a good 20 hours (he's ok now don't worry)
suga sang under the sea and everyone was holding in tears for two different reasons: suga's angelic singing and “under daichi~”
What the Haikyuu characters smell like(in my opinion)
fluff, I kinda made it their high school age
~426 words~
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Tsukishima- something minty, he probably chews gum obnoxiously to get on people’s nerves. He reminds me of Orbit gum
Tanaka- an old spice deodorant that he found in the locker room. Swears by it
Yachi- a summery bath and body works perfume. She watched too many of those videos talking about how “you need a signature scent” so she went out and bought something like Beautiful Day. Also she sprays a bit too much that sometimes it’s genuinely painful to be around her.
Bokuto- the hand sanitizer that’s in the bathrooms. He always uses it in the morning, but always gets way too much that he ends up smelling like it for the rest of the day. Once, Akaashi replaced it with a different smell because he just got so repulsed by it. Ko talked about the change all day, eventually making the boy change it back.
Lev- he also watched those “signature scent” videos but he got banana scented things. Like, you know those banana candies that come in a dispenser at dollar tree? Idk how to explain it but it’s just a very artificial banana scent.
Sugawara- fire but only because I’m scared of fire and I’m a little bit scared of suga BUT it’s only because- actually I don’t have a reason, he’s just scary
Fukunaga- waffles with whipped cream and maple syrup. Occasionally cheetos as well.
Asahi- head and shoulders shampoo, but it fits him really well. You can always tell when he washes his hair (also he washes at night because he’s scared of not having enough time in the morning to wash himself properly.)
Kuroo- books. Plastic books. You know the kind of smelly books? Yeah he smells like those books. The smelly library books. Please don’t get mad at me for that
Yaku- hear me out when I say lemon. I think he would be terrified of spiders and found out that spiders hate lemon (via a percabeth meme) and now it’s all he uses.
Daichi- old spice. It was his that Tanaka found in the locker. His sus(🙄)piscions were confirmed when he saw his pit hairs on the stick as Ryu waved it around.
Noya- sweat. pure sweat. He thinks it smells good, but it really doesn’t. When he doesn’t smell like sweat he smells like a tree.
Kiyoko- flowers. Don’t tell anyone but ever since she was young she would rub flowers on her wrists and it kind of just stuck with her. Tanaka once saw her doing it and now he does it with his hairy deodorant (couple goals)
kaledo-art
andulkaphoto
areudirty
pixelskylines
tangentwithtanner
vaporwave
yousharknotpass
