For jirai-specific things!

[jiraimelda]

Haiii! ✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧

The common trigger warning tags I use: suicide/tw:sui,suicidal thoughts,suicidal ideation (both tagged tw:sui talk) tw self-harm (tw:sh),self-harm talk (tw:sh talk) and possibly pics (tw:sh picture)

I'm melda, any pronouns, and this is my side blog for either things that are related to jirai stuff or things that I relate to but are too depressing to be put on main. I'm a lifestyle jirai,I am heavily flip-flopping between getting better and getting worse at the moment and I'm always switching between wanting to die and wanting to live. This will partially serve as a vent blog as well! Life is a joke to me!

[probuccalfat]

they should invent a father you can forgive

[cael-angel]

all of my problems would disappear if i were 10cm taller and 10kg lighter actually

[yumebwun]

ueueugh i'm treating my body so bad i need to exercise and eat better i feel terrible aa

[jessebloom]

first day of pride month

[jiraimelda]

I am so tired of my brain being so mean to me... Why do you feel the need to diminish everything? Why are you so insistent on insulting yourself whenever we make a small accomplishment? Why can't you just shut up?

[feastofsnakes]

hey sorry I snapped at you, I've just had a really hard day and [remembers focusing on myself is selfish] maybe it's your fault for provoking me?

[bpddeath]

being self-aware but still unable to change your own reactions is such a uniquely miserable experience

[strawberryfairyflower]

And now kids this is what we call a waste of air!!! Also known as Fae!!!!!!!!

[babybluemischief]

ive always thouht i would die from suicide

[commonzinnia]

i think im getting better! :) [another event occurs]

[melda0m3]

Hey guys!! I think I'll take some time off Tumblr. I'll be back in about a week or so, maybe more.

[cloak-of-stars-and-flowers]

I FINALLY FINISHED IT, OH STARS!!!

TPTM bingo kinlist for you all. I tried to be as close to canon as possible, but I put some headcanons because… why not?~

Please… I hope it is accurate… It is my first time creating a bingo, don’t judge me too harshly (nor my handwriting.)

And just now I realize many would have fit Tahira more… Oh, well.

Jordyn-Mae Thomas.

(changed “emotionally repressed” to “doggirl irl (therian or otherwise.)”

Kairi Herring.

Tahira Rashid.

(changed “collects anime figures” to “neglect survivor.” Freyja’s toys and trinkets could be seen as collecting anime figures.)

Freyja Maria Mendoza.

Nora Qu.

(changed from “emotionally repressed” to “all-or-nothing.”)

Morgan Moretti.

Mayra Tikuna.

Joy Sinclair.

Nataana Nchoko.

Xiomara Huapaya.

[jiraimelda]

Putting this here cause I feel like it's mote fitting. It seems I relate more to Freyja than I thought

[jiraimelda]

Disclaimer: I am not encouraging others to do what I am doing. I acknowledge that this is a bad thing I am choosing to do for myself and I am sharing my experience with it. Please do not attempt to do the same or at the very least, if you do, do it in a safe and controlled environment

Day 3 of carving hearts and stars on my thighs, more under the cut (⁠◠⁠‿⁠・⁠)⁠—⁠☆

It was raining today when I came back from work and I had no umbrella, so I took my shower right when I got back home. That made today's session a bit quicker than I would have liked cause I didn't want to take too long and be found out. I did both sides today tho!! I tried doing a heart on the right and a star on the left. I think I got the hang of that good enough now, and tomorrow, even tho I have to go to bed pretty early, I think if I give myself like, five minutes before showering to do it, I could carve at least one full shape. I like feeling the pain in my thighs like that tho. It feels nice to have a pain that's not affecting my energy. It's like a controlled area of pain. Plus, I have to eat a regular amount if I sh. That's the deal, I'm replacing one pain by another baby!! If I can get a full form carved tomorrow, I might share some pics on Friday morning!

[bannock-and-biopolitics-deactiv]

A lot of adulthood is shouting “AUGH MY LAUNDRY” hours after you put it in the washer/dryer and running to go fetch it

[curlicuecal]

oh shit my laundry

[mishafletcher]

reblog to save someone’s laundry

[ri5k]

i’m giving up personhood to become a full-time abstract concept

[asksloyxp]

Maybe if I just work harder, this empty cup will pour again

[shinyrock6498]

Maybe the cup needs a bit of time to rest and refill?

[asksloyxp]

Maybe the cup needs to lock the fuck in???