Originality Not an Impossibility

random babble by aspiring comedian @JohnnyTroubleLC

[johnnytroublelc]

Felicia O'Dell's "sweet treats for the kids" and no nigga they're not doughnuts... or prison food.

Side Note: Auntie Fee could've been Martha Stewart's cellmate in '04.

[johnnytroublelc]

For years Ronald McDonald shilled a mix of greasy, salty, and sugary. Looks like he's finally getting a taste of his own medicine.

Side Note: Ronald's lap is going to smell like Filet-O-Fish until it rains.

[johnnytroublelc]

When Florida State freshmen defenders Lorenzo Featherston DE, Jacob Pugh LB, Derrick Nnadi DT, and Demarcus Christmas DT assemble they become the New Seminoles.

Not since Pretty Ricky has an R&B quartet moistened cunt lips with such syrupy ease. Watch your collective backs 5 Seconds of Summer, there are new kids on the block and these back-street boys are in-sync with whats hot.

Side Note: 50 Tyson, IceJJFish, and the New Seminoles should collab on a song called "Eardrums In My Asshole."

[johnnytroublelc]

If rubbin' one out is an art this dog would be Jackson Pollock.

Side Note: All that dog needs is two turntables and a mic. I see house DJ potential.

[johnnytroublelc]

"A boob made of cardboard is a boob nonetheless." I learned that from the best plastic surgeon in Iowa.

Side Note: That market has had more semen related slip & falls than a GILF barthroom bukkake scene.

[johnnytroublelc]

Noisey released an unofficial music video for “Beautiful Girl,” by incarcerated reggae singer Vybz Kartel. Noisey found a socially progressive way to blend widely popular dancehall with footage from "The Gully Queens of New Kingston," an upcoming documentary that focuses on the growing underground community of gay & transgendered people living in Jamaica’s storm drain system. What should have been a time of growth for a musical culture shadowed by male chauvinism and blatant homophobia is just another example of why progress is oft a slow process.

Side Note: With every arduous step taken on the road less traveled we ease the journey for those who seek to follow.

[johnnytroublelc]

I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the heart's affections, and the truth of imagination. - John Keats

[johnnytroublelc]

Join Action Bronson on a culinary journey throughout merrie olde England as he samples delectables from a vast array of multicultural cuisines.

Side Note: Who needs groupies when you have cha siu bao?

[johnnytroublelc]

The last time I saw cosplay this erotically confusing I was punched for mistakenly stroking a Na'vi "tail."

Side Note: ZZ Top would have mixed feelings about this pic.

[johnnytroublelc]

Ruby Rose's semi-autobiographical short-film, Break Free. It loosely documents the inner turmoil suffered by those who cope with gender identity issues.

Side Note: The walls of conformity are crumbling faster than Robin Thicke's marriage.

[johnnytroublelc]

The (SIMPSONS) World As We Know It

The digital pyromaniac has a new reason to burn through data. I'll tell you more, just make sure you thank FXX.

FXX announced the launch of "Simpsons World," a groundbreaking new app already being touted as the future of TV.

The Simpsons World app will grant users full digital access to all 552 episodes (so far) of The Simpsons in a searchable, cross-referenced online database. To celebrate the launch FXX is set to air a 12 day Simpsons marathon (movie included, in chronological order).

Side Note: "Everything in moderation, including moderation." Eat my shorts, Oscar Wilde.

[johnnytroublelc]

Amateur filmmaker captures bike theft in Los Angeles' notorious Skid Row district. I wonder if this robbery was a clever way to get that L.A. County sheriff back in shape. 

Side Note: Most bike-cops are laughable... UNTIL YOU NEED ONE.

[johnnytroublelc]

Who needs Just For Men when you have Jynx Maze? Take notes, Walt 'Clyde' Frazier. That's how you dye a beard!

Side Note: "You are what you eat." I think that man is trying to become dried semen.

[johnnytroublelc]

NIKE, KD7 advert featuring Dick Gregory.

Side Note: If NIKE ad-execs were cult recruiters most of America would be living on a compound in Beaverton, Oregon.

[johnnytroublelc]

One is never over-dressed or under-dressed with a little black dress - Karl Lagerfeld

[johnnytroublelc]

Doc Johnson takes us behind the scenes of Lexi Belle's pocket-pussy molding. Oh yes, it's as sexy as it sounds.

Side Note: After watching this I'm convinced Clayface would be a cunnilingus master.

[johnnytroublelc]

Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you. - Marsha Norman