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if i look back, i am lost

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@jojobear77
hey guys
what happens if the
*lil wayne voice* call that
this entire post should not be a thing
Hey guys I just wanted to pop in and say that you’re all a bunch of disgusting demons from hell
A true successor of Thomas Edison
surprise surprise
finally some good fucking salt over thomas eddison on this site
By the end of the sentence I had forgotten the Where’s Waldo reference and had to rack my brain to try and understand why a fictional robot was going to come for me if I didn’t find him.
To all the girls who “Love adventures”
A trip to 7-11 at 12:am is most definitely an adventure
If y’all don’t know how to treat mundane life experiences with awe and wonder at the world then maybe it’s *you* that’s probably boring that’s all I’m sayin
One day I wanna be rich enough that I can just like. Give away hundreds of thousands of dollars every year in like scholarships or grants or whatever. That when I see someone make a post like “hey can I get $50 for groceries” I can just donate $1000. Or tip my server their rent money. Like that’s the dream
i actually think about this all the time
oh man or call the hospital and pay off all the delinquent accounts. Or buy a bunch of contracts from a collections agency and pay them off then call the people and be like, ‘yeah no worries.’ Or go to a used car dealership and pay for five or six cars and just be like, “Yeah the next person who comes in and needs a car, this one’s theirs for free.” Or like spend all day on go-fund-me and fill them up.
Money is wasted on the rich.
Not as big and flashy but there are charities such as RIP Medical Debt. They buy up medical debt at discount debt-collector prices but instead of trying to collect, they just forgive it. Donate $10 and you can wipe out $1,000 of someone’s medical debt. This is the only one I know of, but I believe there are others.
Sharing to keep the URL close by
Sacha Baron Cohen’s Keynote Address at ADL’s 2019 Never Is Now Summit on Anti-Semitism and Hate
“I’ve searched my conscience, and I can’t for the life of me find any justification for this, and I simply cannot accept that there are on every story two equal and logical sides to an argument”
I… have to admit i was kind of gobsmacked to realize that’s the borat guy, but his point is eloquent and good so keep kicking ass, dude.
Despite being known best for his comedy characters, Sacha Baron Cohen is a graduate of Cambridge University, where he earned a history degree after writing his undergraduate thesis on the American civil rights movement. His mother’s family were German Jews and his father’s family were Ashkenazi Jews; he is also the grandson of a Holocaust survivor. He understands this issue all too well.
I'm out picking my own raspberries and...
Everyone please look at this I am fucking crying alone in a field of raspberries
Our Aloe Vera plant got pruned, so guess what that means!!!!!
IT’S ALOE VERA JUICE TIME
Step one: get the spikes off.
This is a pile of ooh, ahh:
And this is a pile of caution:
Uhhhhhhhhhh ok so never mind, I am not making aleo vera juice after all.
Because, uh. This is the first time I’ve made it??? So I was like “oh I’ll just Google it and see if I have to cut the dark green bit off or if I can just chuck the whole thing through the machine,” and. Thank goodness I checked. Cause a) yeah you do have to cut the dark green bit off, cause it’s HECKING TOXIC, but uh. More importantly??
Turns out there’s two primary sub species of aloe. One is greenish-grey and has no spots and is good for digestive health.
And the other has pale spots on it and is fantastic for treating sunburn and is, uh. Very toxic and shouldn’t be eaten.
That…. uh. That was a close call.
Here’s the two types, for anyone interested. The kind I have is the one on the left. Aka, the non-edible one.
Me, had I drunk my homemade toxic cactus-juice:
Delectable tea, or deadly poison…
@chemicalmagecraft I need you to know that I nearly broke a rib laughing at your addition. Also, your input deserved a fully fledged meme
In a land of gods and monsters, I was an angel.
I bet Jar Jar is fucking hung like a whale. God he can raw me anyday.
I spent like two? Three? Entire weeks with this sitting in my askbox and I just. I got nothing. What could I possibly answer? I tried all the “nope” gifs in this god forsaken website, I tried to draw what my face looks like every time I read this, I tried to find fanart of jar jar with his wang out and the universe was kind enough to me so that I couldn’t find any. I got nothing. Nada. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. What am I gonna say? What in god’s name am I gonna say to that?!
You see, I wanna fuck general grievous. I do. I want him use all his four arms to simultaneously pull both my arms back and touch my tits as he fucks me with his mecha-schlong. I do. I wanna fuck darth Maul, pre-legs cut off or post metal legs+metal dick enhancement. I wanna lick those horns. Okay? I wanna fuck darth vader. Boy, oh, boy, I do. I wanna hear that hard breathing and wrap my legs over that dramatic cape while he force-chokes me and we do the do. Am I a weird robot-fucker? You bet your ass I am! Am I a tad too much on the horny side? Probably. Did I extrapolate my right to be horny on main? Fucking sue me. But this. THIS.
How do you want me to face my family and all the three (3) friends I have irl? How do you want me to walk into an elevator with a bunch of strangers and when an old lady says “the weather has been a little hot lately, isn’t it weird?” just to do small talk like every fucking old people I don’t know do, how do you expect me not to answer her with “y’know what’s weirder, someone at this very moment is thinking about Jar Jar Binks going balls-deep in them and I cannot talk about this to anyone and the knowledge of this? it’s eating me alive. ALIVE, ma’am, and I don’t mean this as some sick vore reference. Someone’s dreaming of those popped-up eyes, of that weird high-pitched voice screaming MEESA COMING while they’re filled up by Jar Jar Bink’s thick seed, and I’m just standing here while this very notion rots me to the core, taking all life away from me. It’s a nightmare. My entire life, a nightmare, because of an anon message from a horny jar jar fucker on tumblr. This is my floor now, ma’am, have a good day”
I leave the elevator. I probably have an appointment, but I can’t remember where, or what for. I sit down on the floor by the elevator doors. I sob for a full minute. I take the elevator back downstairs, I walk home, I collapse in bed and rub one out thinking of darth vader. I feel better.
Five minutes later, I think about this ask again, and my whole world collapses again. It’s only Tuesday. I sigh heavily and sit down to write this reply.-
Edit: a lot of this is exaggeration. Some of it is true. You get to pick what exactly.
The simple thought that the jar jar anon exists in the same world as we do gives me shivers. I bet that if I look upon them, whoever they are, I will die instantly.
Replies hall of fame
+ bonus (someone that should be feared):
What a fucking whirlwind.
Moses: Behold, the power of God. *turns a stick into a live snake in front of everyone*
Rameses:
love this post
No but forrealll
Oof
Artist >>> iambrandon747