this video is so full of life
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@jslcs
this video is so full of life
like 10 people have told me since i started taking seroquel for sleep that i shouldn't because of a study linking it to increased risk of cardiovascular issues which is good to be aware of 100% but usually i ask them if they've looked into what chronic insomnia does to your heart. bc it's not good also
I think it is really interesting the way that the doormat is treated as a more virtuous cultural object than the snarling hissing rage monster, when in my experience both of these things are contextual faces of the same thing. My father would roll over for any of his bosses and play at being without any opinions or preferences at us some of the time, only to turn around and bark his head off when we did not correctly intuit what it was he wanted or cross one of his invisible lines that we had to memorise.
And that in turn is different-but-mostly-similar to exes I've had where they didn't uphold their ends of communication and feedback and who ended up ghosting or appeasing me rather than risk upsetting me, regardless of anything I said or did.
It's dehumanising for everyone involved honestly. If you aren't willing to be angry you'll shunt it onto the other person and then make them into the rage monster you're afraid of being. Its like what Betty Martin was talking about in the Wheel of Consent about deferring vulnerability and wants onto the other person
well said!
"if you forgot then it obviously wasn't important to you" is an ableist thing to say and i'm tired of pretending it's not
I've forgotten *my own birthday* before. There are several years of my life just straight up missing. In the past I've forgotten silly little frivolous things like NAMES OF LOVED ONES or WHERE MY HOUSE IS. But obviously none of that was important. Fucking awful, ableist thing to say.
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humans should be able to do a special Ultra Sleep after major life accomplishments where you're just out for like 32 hours or something and then you wake up fully refreshed in every way
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I know a lot of ppl hate this idea but I would absolutely love to have separate rooms w my spouse if I was married. like we can sleep in each others beds and probably would a lot of the time but also having your own space exclusively for your things which you can decorate however you want and don’t have to compromise on someone elses wants or worry about their mess and also can decompress there if u do want alone time would be amazing
Hey it’s the most normal thing in the world to want this with your partner(s).
If anyone ever tells you it’s unhealthy for a marriage - or any kind of partnership - they are extending a generalization to your relationship and making a personal judgement about your situation. You can feel free to ignore them. If your partner is uncomfortable with the idea, that’s something you need to iron out with them early and definitively, so that no bad feelings fester. If you need Your Space, they need to accept that; if their preconceptions about what marriage “should” look like make them feel like this is a reflection on them or the relationship, that’s something to nip in the bud.
I often remind people that, at the end of the day, you are a very large mammal. You are, depending on the classification scale being used, megafauna. There’s a very good chance that you, reading this, weigh as much as, or significantly more than, the average puma. If you need your own space - whether to sleep comfortably without someone snoring, tossing, overheating, or stealing the covers next to you, or even just to vibe - then you should have your own space. If your partner(s) need their own space, they should have their own space. Hell, if that means separate apartments that you split your time between, then more power to you.
Let yourself be comfortable. The only people who are involved in deciding how your relationship looks are the people in it, together.
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