Once you learn that you’re autistic, it can feel like you’re becoming more autistic than you were. This often contributes to imposter syndrome, and feeling like you’re faking having autism. That you’re only acting autistic because you think you have autism, when really you’re just putting on some act.
The truth, however, is that you’re most likely just autistic. You’ve learned more about autism, so now you’re noticing all these “new” autistic behaviors that have been happening subconsciously. And if those behaviors are actually new? You’re still just autistic. A lot of times when people learn about autism, they give themselves more leeway to be autistic. They let themselves stim more, they let themselves act in ways that feel more natural. A lot of times this leads to discovering a whole new set of behaviors that you haven’t had before because they had been suppressed for so long.
It’s important to not gaslight yourself during this process. Sometimes you have to take a step back and see if this is you just noticing more because you know what to look for, or if this is maybe you noticing more because you’re not suppressing everything anymore. Imposter syndrome isn’t fun to deal with, so it’s important to try and be gentle, kind, patient, and open-minded with yourself while it’s happening.