HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAMI !! 🍊
Monterey Bay Aquarium

JVL
Today's Document
DEAR READER

shark vs the universe
Peter Solarz
sheepfilms

titsay

Love Begins
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

Janaina Medeiros
Cosmic Funnies
almost home
Cosimo Galluzzi

#extradirty
Jules of Nature
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
will byers stan first human second
RMH
Show & Tell

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@jujunju
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAMI !! 🍊
I see we’ve reached the “blame your failures on communist subterfuge” phase of the AI business plan
The AI business plan, for reference:
1. Promise everything.
2. Piss off everyone.
3. Deliver nothing.
4. Blame asians?
me.
To give more context: The reviewer was Jean Lorrain, who also was gay. Both showed up to the duel and both missed on purpose.
gay people can never just ask each other out
in our copy of hana-bi the subtitles never leave the screen until something else is said
dude’s fucking TORN about whether or not to buy a beret
It appears that all parties with the exception of Restore are not going to entertain Farage’s media circus.
Count Binface - it is your time. People of Clacton, please do the funniest fucking thing that’s happened in UK politics for a while.
Shitposting at its finest.
what the hell is going on
i believe in you Binface. you can do it. this could be your moment.
Please god it would be so funny
there is no downside to voting for Count Binface. its not taking away from other candidates bcos they aren't any and the more votes he gets the stupider Farage looks.
for people out of the loop:
Nigel Farage is the leader of Reform UK, a far right party who are currently in the process of a serious bid to become the UK government. they are just straight up evil.
Count Binface is an intergalactic space warrior with a bin on his head. he likes to run as a novelty candidate in general and mayoral elections. a big thing he likes to do is run as a candidate against the incumbent prime minister:
(Also pictured: Boris Johnson, Elmo)
Anyway, in brief:
Nigel Farage is currently in the midst of a big scandal about his finances
He has decided to deal with this by 1) making a show of nobly resigning from parliament and then 2) immediately running in the resulting by-election
He has stated that he is letting 'the people' judge his actions and implied that if he wins that will prove that he has been exonerated in the court of public opinion
His goal was presumably to get a big resounding win over the other parties, proving that The People still love him.
the other parties have thus far decided that this is a 'vanity election' and, well, there is one very easy way to ensure that he will not beat any of them, and that is simply not to play.
and as a result the only person who has so far confirmed they are running against him is Count Binface. no matter the outcome this makes Nigel Farage look like, u know, a fucking clown.
its important to note the "clever" politics behind all of the decisions around this; NF cannot be investigated if he isn't an MP (stupid ruling, yes, but hang on) so his plan was to cause a stir by trying to get someone to take his seat; other politicians see through the plan and don't participate which would fuck NF massively as it means he never stopped being an MP and therefore can still be investigated and imprisoned. Binface shows up because of course he does this is an excellent time to embarrass a tosser. NF is now in a lose-lose.
If NF wins, he won against a joke candidate and thus it only makes him look an idiot (homer beating 8 year olds style) with no legitimacy, AND he will still go through the investigation that most of the HoP wants to put him through.
If Binface wins, NF lost to a joke candidate, and good heavens that's gonna screw him over permanently innit.
if count binface wins it will be the funniest thing thats ever happened in Clacton. i have mates in clacton and i'm buying a pint for everyone who votes binface.
I really like this website because somebody will be like “there’s nothing wrong with darting out from behind a parked car into traffic, bootlicker” and you can be like okay this clearly evolved from a valid point about how the US is too car-centric. But something happened to it.
there’s nothing wrong with darting out from behind a parked car into traffic
potato seeking behavior
PERFORMANCE RELIABILITY: 60%
wow subtitles in a film or videogame, awesome!
nevermind it
has no background, thus not being fully readable.
says [speaking foreign language] when not English.
is too small.
is one word at a time, thus hurting our eyes like flashing lights.
is in an awful font.
is in a colour that hurts or is hard to see.
is delayed.
C*nsors sw*ar w*rds because people who need subtitles are precious beans who can't conceive of the word fuck and must be infantilised
it's almost summer do you guys want my stupid hyperoptimized lemonade recipe that takes half a day to make and whips absolute ass
Fruited Lemonade That Makes You Reconsider It All
ingredience:
lemons/limes (this needs to make up the bulk of the fruit being used, like at least 80%)
whatever other fruits or fruit scraps you want, plus any herbs/other flavorings you want to try. by fruit scraps I mean things like cherry pits, apple peels, pineapple cores, strawberry ends, things like that.
granulated white sugar, the coarser the better, 50% by weight of total citrus rinds + 100% by weight of any additional fruit. you'll measure this after you prep the fruit.
water as needed
equipment:
a few nonmetallic mixing bowls
a mesh strainer
a chinoise, ricer or some cheesecloth
a kitchen scale
a citrus juicer or reamer (manual or electric)
a potato masher
juice the citrus through a strainer - saving all rinds - and refrigerate the juice for the time being. dice the rinds and other fruits if any, keeping the rinds separate. make note of weights, and measure your sugar.
Place sugar in a large nonmetallic bowl. If using non-citrus fruits and/or any other flavorings, mix them in with the sugar and mash with potato masher. add diced citrus rinds, mix thoroughly, and mash again. cover and let stand at room temperature for at least 4 hours. this allows the sugar to draw out flavors that would otherwise get discarded with the rinds, and the rinds' acids should be enough to dissolve the sugar into a syrup.
Afterward, mash one last time, then collect the syrup by pressing the macerated mixture through a strainer/chinoise or ricer, or squeeze it through cheesecloth. if you want, this can be saved as a standalone syrup at this point, for use in cocktails or desserts. if not, slowly pour the reserved juice through the solids to to help get the remaining syrup out, and squeeze/press again. do the same thing one more time with warm water (roughly the same amount of water as juice). discard solids (or try making sangria with them!).
taste the mixture and add more water if necessary. a stronger mix is totally fine if you anticipate serving over ice on a hot day, or adding booze, or if there was a lot of non-sour fruit. keep in mind that it will taste a bit less sweet once it's chilled. pour into a pitcher and refrigerate.
citrus oils will float to the top, so stir/shake before serving. love you. enjoy.
some tried and true flavor combos:
straight lemon or lime, or any combination of the two, is of course an untouchable classic
lemon & strawberries (that's pussy babe!)
lemon & orange with a hint of vanilla (creamsiclemonade...?)
lemon & apples or apple peels with cinnamon/ginger/allspice (for late summer)
some cocktail type combos, booze optional:
lemon or lime & berries with basil + gin
lime & mint + white rum
lime & ginger + dark rum
lime & cucumber + gin
lime & orange (berries optional) + tequila
lemon, orange & cherry + brandy, bourbon, or rye whiskey
holy gods
recommendation: honeydew melon and jalapenos. tried it before with lime juice, cucumber vodka, and some club soda for a really nice cocktail perfect for a hot summer day
I feel like ODD being an official disorder in the DSM should be the thing that makes everyone go “hm” about how psychology is practiced
[looking a child directly in the eye] i diagnose you with Shitty Bitch Syndrome. this makes it legal to do medieval german tortures to you by the way
cmon man
also you would be surprised at which group gets disproportionately diagnosed with this disorder. did you guess black people. because its black people
hysteria, child edition
in grade 12 we were reading romeo and juliet and we were at the romantic-ass balcony scene and this hot girl in the class volunteered to read juliet’s parts and i put up my hand to volunteer for another part and the teacher goes ‘oh do you want to be the nurse, amanda?’ and i was like ‘no i wanna be romeo’ and the hot girl swiveled around in her seat to give me a Look™
she and i later ended up making out at a bunch of parties in university lmfao
in retrospect this moment was absolutely pivotal to my butch awakening but it was also just a lesbian power move
I too got a girlfriend over this play. In grade 10, I was reading the balcony scene to study with two other people (one guy and one beautiful girl) and I insisted point blank I had to read as romeo, because he had the most lines and I’m a dramatic little shit.
So the other two in my group are used to my antics by now. We’re all friends, so the pair of them decide that the one guy in our group gets to be the nurse. Now, my Juliet and I have been friends for a couple months by this point, so I decide to be a little more dramatic.
We put Juliet on a spinny chair, and pump it up as tall as it goes, and my baby, closeted lesbian ass crouches on the floor, ready to be as melodramatic as possible. Like, I’m about to do a rendition that makes William himself walk into the class and tell me to take it back a notch or twelve.
And then I look up.
And holy shit.
There she is, Juliet, haloed in the worst fluorescent light known to mortals across the globe. Light just streaming down around her, that weird off-green colour that it always is. And she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. My little gay soul is barely holding on as the words barely leave my lips, breathlessly. “But soft… what light from yonder window breaks?”
And Juliet was the sun. Romeo was not exaggerating that line at all.
Juliet and I have also been together for more than 4 years now. She’s every bit as spectacular as she was when I was a lovestruck teenage Romeo, kneeling on the yellowed linoleum floor of second block english.
napping on their way to sabaody