OR... In Which Lee Heeseung comes home after months on tour only to find his girlfriend decorating (practically) their apartment instead of going to his dorms for Christmas in his oversized hoodie โ and suddenly, the world doesnโt feel so heavy anymore.
PAIRING : Idol! Lee Heeseung x Fem! reader (OC)
GENRE : Fluff, comfort, domestic romance, established relationship.
WARNINGS : Kisses, cuddles, sleepy makeout session, clingy heeseung, down horrendous lover boy behavior, matching hoodies, domesticity so soft it might kill you.
Briefly mentioned: TXT Boemgyu (OC's older twin)
AUTHORโS NOTE :
Itโs literally nowhere near Christmas but i have been wanting to write this for SO long and i could not wait anymore ๐ญ
This is just pure comfort. no drama. no angst. only sleepy heeseung needing his girlfriend to recharge after exhausting idol schedules. Very domestic. very โyou are my homeโ coded.
Also yes this drabble exists in the same universe as my book because I miss them BAD โน๏ธ๐ค
The rhythmic bass of ENHYPEN's track vibrated softly through my apartment, the sound familiar enough to feel like home and yet painfully insufficient in filling the emptiness lingering in my chest.
I rolled over dramatically on the couch, burying my face into one of the cushions as if I could physically smother the longing clawing at me.
God.
I miss Heeseung so much.
I wish he would come back soon.
The apartment looked warm and cozy around me despite the loneliness. Golden fairy lights wrapped around the christmas tree in the corner of the living room while snow slowly drifted outside the balcony windows. Half-open ornament boxes littered the floor beside me along with ribbons, wrapping paper and the ridiculous reindeer headband Sunoo had forced me to buy โfor festive spirit.โ
The soft smell of cinnamon candles filled the apartment. It should have felt comforting. Instead, it only made me miss him more.
My pen scratched across the pages of my journal absentmindedly while ENHYPENโs playlist continued in the background. Writing had become my only proper outlet lately. Our daily calls were nothing more than fragmented moments squeezed between schedules and rehearsals.
Stolen conversations. Half-finished thoughts. Me listening carefully for exhaustion hidden beneath his laughter while pretending not to notice it for his sake.
Is he eating properly?
Sleeping properly?
Actually resting?
Or is he surviving on iced americanos and pure willpower again?
I sighed heavily before staring toward the christmas tree. Heeseung would definitely complain about how crooked it looked. And then secretly fix it himself while mumbling. The thought made me smile faintly. My eyes drifted toward the television playing muted clips from ENHYPENโs recent Fate+ tour performances. As expected, there he was in every clip absolutely glowing under stage lights like he had been born for it.
Because honestly? He had. That stage belonged to him. I still remembered watching their Coachella performance live after rushing home late from work, still in my office clothes while trying not to scream at three in the morning because of how insane they all looked on stage. Especially him. My red-haired guy. God. The way locals online had been losing their minds over him afterwards. Honestly? Valid. I understood them completely.
The whole group did unbelievably well and I couldnโt even explain the amount of pride swelling inside me every single time I watched them perform. Especially when I knew how much they sacrificed behind the scenes. How hard they pushed themselves. How much pain they endured quietly. And Heeseungโฆ He was the worst when it came to that. So selfless it genuinely worried me sometimes. Even while exhausted, he always found time for me somehow. Late night calls. Tiny voice notes. Random selfies at ungodly hours.
Sometimes I knew he sacrificed sleep just to talk to me for ten minutes before passing out again. And he never once complained about it. What did I even do to deserve someone like him? A sharp cramp suddenly twisted low in my stomach, pulling me from my thoughts. โAhโฆ shit.โ
I grimaced immediately, curling slightly on the couch while clutching my abdomen. Monthly pain. Exactly what I needed on top of emotional yearning. I groaned into the cushion dramatically. Meanwhile my boyfriend was probably performing somewhere halfway across the world while I was fighting for survival on my couch. Life was unfair. Still, despite everything, my lips softened into another smile when my thoughts drifted back toward him. He had been talking nonstop lately about his solo album. About melodies. Lyrics. Producing. His eyes would light up during calls whenever he accidentally started rambling about music without realizing it.
And donโt even get me started on the ringtone project he mentioned wanting to make for ENGENEs. Because apparently this man physically could not stop loving people. It was ridiculous. I remembered hearing the draft version of โHighway 1009โ during his En-Note and genuinely sitting there stunned in silence afterwards. That song carried so much of him inside it. So much rawness. So much sincerity. Like he was peeling himself open and presenting his heart to the world without filters. He was precious. Dangerously precious.
As if summoned by my thoughts alone, my phone suddenly buzzed loudly on the coffee table. My heart immediately jumped. Heeseung? I reached over quickly only for my expression to flatten immediately.
Boemtori ๐ป : Hey brat !
I stared at the notification. Then deliberately ignored it. No. Today was my day off and I refused to let my annoying older brother ruin my peace. I tossed the phone back onto the table before continuing to decorate the christmas tree instead. Soon enough I found myself swaying along to the music playing through the speakers, humming softly while hanging ornaments carefully onto branches.
The oversized grey hoodie hanging off my body smelled faintly like him. Because obviously it did (cuz it's his that I had stolen from him). The thing had practically become mine at this point. My body moved lazily to the rhythm while snow continued falling peacefully outside. And because I was so lost in thoughtโ I completely missed the first few rings of my doorbell. It wasnโt until the ringing became persistent and borderline frantic that I paused mid-decoration. I frowned slightly. Who the hellโ Probably Beomgyu. That man treated my apartment like his secondary residence.
I shuffled toward the door in my pajama shorts and fluffy socks, mildly annoyed while lowering the music volume slightly. โComing!โ
I pulled it open, ready to scold my brother, but the words died in my throat. My tracks of thought stopped right there, deadass. My eyes widened and my jaw dropped in real time. Before me stood... Lee Heeseung!?
He was disheveled, like he had run a marathon to get here. His beanie was almost coming off his head, his now cherry red hair peeking out from beneath it. His mask was shrinking and puffing with his heavy breaths as he panted, his hands resting on his knees, half-crouched. But his eyes... his bambi eyes were up at me, sparkling with an intensity that stole the air from my lungs.
What was he doing here? Wasn't he in another country just until yesterday? Did my manifestation actually come true?
I snapped out of my trance when he cleared his throat and stood up properly. The reality of the situation crashed down on me-he was out there, in the open, where anyone could recognize him. I grabbed his hand and pulled him inside, slamming the door shut behind us with a decisive click.
The moment he was past the threshold, I launched myself at him. His duffle bag dropped beside his leg as I engulfed him in a bear hug, burying my face in his neck. God, I missed him so much. It had been months.
I heard his soft chuckle as one hand came up to support me, sliding under my bottom to hold me effortlessly. I nuzzled deeper into his neck, inhaling his familiar scent-clean laundry, something faintly citrusy, and underneath it all, just him. My arms tightened around him. I knew I would be embarrassed as hell after this was over, but that could wait. I felt him remove his mask, and then came his soft voice, warm against my ear.
"Seems like my girlfriend missed me more~" I felt him turn his face and plant a sweet kiss on my cheek. Blood rushed to my face, heating my skin.
"Y-yeah... I did," my voice was muffled and thick with shyness.
He giggled, rubbing our cheeks together. "Well, I missed you too. So much that I came straight from the airport."
That made me pull back from his neck to look at him, perplexed. "You what?"
He chuckled at my dumbfounded expression before giving me a quick, firm kiss and walking us further into the living space. That was when I realized what I had just done-I had practically launched myself at him, and he was currently holding me like I weighed nothing. My heart was beating so loud, I was afraid he would hear it. I wanted to die from embarrassment.
"Put me down! Put me down!" I questioned him frantically, trying to wiggle free. But as I moved, a sharp pain shot through me straight from my core. Aah, cramp. I went limp against him, resting my head on his chest and listening to his equally fast heartbeat.
I thought it was only me, but guess not. He was just better at controlling his expressions.
"Hey, are you okay? What happened? Flailing like a dying fish?" he teased, though there was concern in his voice.
He carried me to the couch, settling himself among the cushions with me still on his lap. He adjusted me gently, his hands caressing my lower back in soothing circles. I sighed in relief and relaxed against him, the pain slowly subsiding under his touch.
I pulled back and looked into his eyes properly for the first time that day. I inhaled before asking the question that had just appeared in my mind. "Nothing, just period cramps. You tell me," I poked his bread cheeks.
"How do you know my address? I don't remember mentioning it to you. It's the first time you're here. And why would you come straight here? What about your manager?"
"Baby, are you forgetting that I'm best friends with your brother?" The realization hit me like a truck as my mouth formed an 'O' before I hummed. Beomgyu probably told him. Wait... Did Heeseung tell Beomgyu that we're together now? It must be, because why would Beomgyu give him the address for no reason. That also implies that Boemgyu approve of our relationship, not that we need his approval or anything but you know the big brother gist.
As if reading my thoughts, Heeseung nodded with a shit-eating grin, his cheeks crinkling in that way that made me want to nibble on them. Wtf, Choi Seeun, get a grip.
"And to answer your second question," he continued, his voice softening, "I told you, I missed you. And my manager is cool with it as long as I'm discreet. We finally got a little break after Coachella and the tour finally ended." He paused, his gaze dropping for a second.
"Though I almost thought I was dying. It was really painful to even move a limb. I had to get IV drops along with some other members."
I looked at him with what must have been a mixture of horror and overwhelming pride. The thought of him in pain, of him pushing himself to the point of needing IVs, made my chest ache. But the fact that he had endured it, that he had still gone out there and given his all for the fans... it filled me with a fierce, protective love. I softly hugged him again, this time with more reverence than desperation. I cradled his face in my hands, my thumbs stroking his cheekbones. "I'm so proud of you, Heeseung. You withstood the pain and put out an outstanding performance each time. Even though I wasn't able to see you in real life, I watched through clips, and I'm... I'm so, so proud of you." I took a shaky breath, my voice thick with emotion. "And I want to tell you that I love you."
I smiled genuinely, and he mirrored my expression with such softness, it almost broke my heart. He looked like he needed to hear it, like he was grateful for me stating what should be the bare minimum. I leaned closer, planting a sweet kiss on his forehead, then his left cheek, then the tip of his nose, then his right cheek. Before I could stop myself, I trailed kisses down his jaw, further down to his Adam's apple-my favorite feature of his after his bambi eyes-and then came back up to finally kiss his lips. He was reeling in the feeling of my touch all this while before eagerly meeting my lips halfway through. Our lips pressed together in a sweet, deep kiss, the longing and yearning of months apart present in every press and slide. I felt his hand going inside my pajama top, his warm palm rubbing circles on the skin of my lower back as he pressed us closer. My pajama shorts slightly rode up as I straddled him properly, the thin fabric doing little to separate us.
"God... How much I missed this feeling and you," he murmured against my lips. "Gosh... you. I missed you so much, Seeun." He locked our lips again, this time more needy, more demanding. My hands went up into his hair, knocking his beanie off from his head in the process. My fingers tangled in his soft locks as the sound of our kisses echoed in the living space along with the faint music still coming from the speaker. He pulled back slightly, his breathing heavy, his eyes dark with desire. "I've been dreaming about this," he admitted, his voice husky. "About you. About being here with you like this."
My heart hammered against my ribs. "Me too," I confessed, my voice barely above a whisper. "Every night." He leaned in, capturing my lips again in a kiss that was slower, deeper, more exploratory. His tongue swept against mine, tasting, claiming, marking me as his in a way that felt both possessive and tender. His hands roamed my body, tracing the curve of my hips, the dip of my waist, memorizing every inch of me as if he were afraid I might disappear. When we finally broke apart, we were both breathing heavily, our foreheads resting against each other. The air around us crackled with unspoken words and unresolved passion.
"We should probably slow down," I said, though my body was screaming for more. "I know," he murmured, his lips brushing against mine with each word. "But I've been waiting for this for months. For a moment where it's just us, no schedules, no managers, no cameras."
I sighed, my resolve crumbling completely. "Just a little longer," I conceded, pulling him back down for another kiss. This one was different-less frantic, more deliberate, a savoring of the moment rather than a desperate grab for it. His hands framed my face, his thumbs stroking my cheeks as he poured all his feelings into the kiss-all his fears about the tour, all his joy at being back with me, all his hope for our future despite the obstacles. When we finally pulled apart, the reality of our situation came crashing back. He was exhausted, I was in pain, and we had so much to catch up on. "I should let you rest," I said reluctantly, my fingers gently tracing his jawline. "I am resting," he countered, his eyes softening as he looked at me. "This is the most rested I've felt in months."
My heart swelled at his words, at the sincerity in his eyes. "Hee," I started, but he cut me off with another soft kiss. "Later," he said, pulling me into a hug. "Let's just be like this for a while. No talking, just... this." I nodded, resting my head against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart. For a while, we just sat there, wrapped in each other's arms, the faint music from the speaker providing a soundtrack to our reunion. It was comfortable, familiar, like coming home after a long journey.
"Hey," he said after a while, his voice breaking the silence. "I have something for you." I pulled back, curious. "Yeah?" He reached for his duffle bag, rummaging through it for a moment before pulling out a small, wrapped package. "I saw this and thought of you." I took it, my fingers carefully unwrapping the paper to reveal a delicate silver necklace with a small charm-a tiny, intricately designed music note. "It's beautiful," I breathed, my eyes welling up with tears. "It's to remind you of me," he said softly. "Of my music, of... us."
I looked up at him, my vision slightly blurred by tears. "I don't need a reminder, Hee. I could never forget you." He smiled, a gentle, genuine smile that reached his eyes. "Humor me." I nodded, turning around so he could help me put it on. His fingers brushed against my neck as he fastened the clasp, sending shivers down my spine. I touched the charm, feeling its cool metal against my skin. "Thank you," I said, turning back to face him. "I love it."
"I love you," he replied, his eyes full of emotion. And as I leaned in to kiss him again, I knew that this was just the beginning of our story-a story that would be complicated, challenging, and at times, painful. But as long as we had each other, I knew we could face anything that came our way. And as I leaned in to kiss him again, I knew that this was just the beginning of our story-a story that would be complicated, challenging, and at times, painful. But as long as we had each other, I knew we could face anything that came our way.
For a few moments more, we stayed tangled together on the couch, kissing lazily between soft giggles and breathless murmurs. The kind of kisses that didnโt rush anywhere. Slow. Warm. Comforting. Like both of us were trying to make up for the lost months in the gentlest way possible. His hands never left me. Not even for a second. One stayed settled on my waist beneath the hoodie while the other absentmindedly played with the hem of my shorts, fingertips tracing soothing patterns into my skin. Meanwhile, I stayed comfortably sprawled on his lap, my fingers continuously brushing through his cherry red hair, still slightly messy from the flight and my constant touching. God. I missed him so much.
Heeseung suddenly pulled back from another kiss, blinking slowly around the apartment as if seeing it properly for the first time since arriving. Then his brows furrowed. โโฆWait.โ I tilted my head innocently. โHm?โ His eyes slowly wandered toward the glowing christmas tree in the corner of the living room. Then the fairy lights hanging along the walls. The stockings above the television. The cinnamon candles. The scattered ornaments. The wrapped gifts near the tree. And finallyโ his gaze landed back on me. Wearing his oversized hoodie. Matching christmas pajama shorts. Hair messy from decorating. Cheeks flushed from kissing him. He stared. Actually stared.
โโฆBaby,โ he said slowly, voice full of disbelief. โDid you decorate all this by yourself?โ I blinked. โโฆMaybe? Did you only notice your surroundings just now ? Got that distracted by me, huh~โ I teased. His mouth physically fell open a little before he looked around again like he had just entered another dimension. โWhen were you even planning to tell me about this?โ โI wasnโt?โ I laughed sheepishly. โI wanted it to be a surprise when you came back from tour.โ His expression softened so much it nearly hurt to look at.
He looked around the apartment once again, taking everything in carefully this time. The warm lights reflecting in his eyes. The tiny snowman plushie sitting near the TV. The christmas playlist still quietly playing from the speakers. And thenโhis eyes landed on the tree topper. A tiny deer ornament. His lips twitched immediately. โSeriously?โ he laughed softly. I crossed my arms defensively. โIt reminded me of you!โ
โYouโre obsessed with calling me a deer.โ โYou literally have bambi eyes.โ โYouโre never beating the whipped allegations either.โ I gasped dramatically. โYOU are the clingy one here.โ Heeseung suddenly grinned before tightening his hold around my waist and burying his face into my neck again. โAnd proud.โ Hopeless. Actually hopeless. I melted instantly when he pressed tiny kisses beneath my jaw, nuzzling against me like an oversized affectionate cat finally reunited with its owner after years.
โYou smell nice,โ he mumbled sleepily. โItโs vanilla body lotion.โ โYou smell like home.โ Oh. Oh that one almost took me out. I physically hid my face in his shoulder while he giggled softly against my skin.โYouโre shy now?โ he teased quietly. โShut up.โ
โNo.โ I smacked his chest weakly while he laughed, the sound low and genuine. God, I missed hearing him laugh in real life. Not through a screen. Not through broken calls between schedules. Like this. Warm against me. Real. After a while, I finally forced him to get up from the couch before he fully merged into me forever.
โCome on,โ I huffed while trying to push him up. โGo change properly. Your clothes still smell like airport.โ He groaned loudly. โBut Iโm comfortable.โ โHeeseung.โ โBabyyy.โ โYou can cuddle me after showering.โ That got his attention immediately. His head lifted from my shoulder so fast I almost laughed. โโฆPromise?โ I stared at him in disbelief.
โYou flew across countries and survived world tours just to act like this?โ โYes.โ Then this man actually stood up, grabbed his duffle bag, and pointed at me accusingly. โDonโt disappear.โ I burst out laughing. โWhere would I even go?โ โYou never know.โ โGo shower before I spray sanitizer on you.โ โCruel.โ Still mumbling dramatically under his breath, he finally disappeared toward the bathroom while I shook my head fondly. A few minutes later, he came out wearing fresh clothes. Well. Fresh clothes meaningโ another one of the exact same oversized hoodies I was wearing. I stared. Then looked at him. Then back at the hoodie. โโฆYou changed into matching clothes on purpose.โ Heeseung froze mid-step. โNo.โ โLee Heeseung.โ โItโs coincidence.โ โYou own hundreds of hoodies.โ โThis one called to me spiritually.โ
I genuinely started laughing so hard my stomach hurt while he tried failing miserably to hide his grin. โYouโre insane.โ โAnd yet you love me deeply.โ Unfortunately. Very deeply. The rest of the evening passed softly after that. Comfortably. Like the world outside their apartment simply stopped existing for a while. Heeseung eventually curled himself beside me on the couch again while we watched a christmas movie neither of us were actually paying attention to. Wellโ I tried to watch it. But itโs hard focusing when your boyfriend is practically attached to your side like velcro. His head rested on my lap while one arm stayed wrapped around my waist possessively even from that angle. Meanwhile, I absentmindedly combed through his hair, pushing soft strands away from his forehead while he slowly started melting into sleep. His face looked softer like this. Peaceful. No stage makeup. No cameras. No pressure. Just him. My Heeseung. I looked down when his grip around my waist tightened slightly.
โYou falling asleep?โ I whispered softly. โMhm.โ
โYou should sleep properly in bed then.โ โNo.โ I snorted quietly. โYouโre so stubborn.โ Another sleepy hum left him before he shifted even closer somehow, burying his face deeper into my stomach. And thenโ silence. I looked down properly. Oh. He was completely knocked out. My expression softened instantly. Poor thing. He must have been running on fumes for weeks. I gently brushed my fingers across his cheek before sighing quietly and lowering the volume of the movie. Outside the apartment windows, snow had finally started falling.
Soft. Slow. Pretty. The first snow of the year. I smiled faintly before carefully leaning down and kissing the crown of his head. โI missed you too,โ I whispered. Maybe an hour passed before I gently shook him awake again. โHee.โ A sleepy groan. โHeeseung.โ
โNo schedules.โ I laughed softly. โNo schedules.โ โThen let me sleep.โ โThe first snow is falling.โ One eye slowly opened. โโฆReally?โ I nodded excitedly. โCome outside with me.โ His brows furrowed immediately before he pulled the blanket higher around himself dramatically. โNo.โ I blinked. โWhat?โ โItโs cold.โ โItโs snow.โ โI already have warmth.โ He tightened his arms around my waist as emphasis.
I physically covered my face with my hands. โYou cannot say things like that casually.โ โBut itโs true.โ โHEE.โ He just laughed sleepily before peeking up at me through messy red hair. โFive more minutes.โ โYou said that twenty minutes ago.โ โTime is a social construct.โ Eventuallyโwith a lot of whining, several kisses, and bribery involving freshly baked cookiesโI managed to drag him outside anyway. And honestly? It was worth it.
Snowflakes landed softly in his hair while we stood outside bundled in oversized hoodies and coats, our breaths visible in the freezing air. Heeseung looked ridiculously pretty beneath snowfall. Like unfairly pretty. And of courseโ the moment I got distracted staring at himโ this menace threw snow directly at me. I gasped loudly. โLEE HEESEUNG.โ His eyes widened instantly before he burst into laughter and started running. โBABY WAITโโ
โYOUโRE DEAD.โ The neighbors definitely heard me threatening a world famous idol while chasing him through snow. But honestly? Worth it. By the time we stumbled back into the apartment, both of us were freezing, laughing breathlessly, and covered in snowflakes. I immediately pulled out the christmas cookies I had baked earlier and the look on Heeseungโs face alone deserved an award. โYou made these?โ he asked softly. โThe way you like them.โ That man looked at me like he was seconds away from proposing marriage on the spot. We spent the rest of the night beside the christmas tree exchanging gifts while soft music played quietly in the background.
And unsurprisinglyโ Heeseung kept every single thing I gave him. Every note. Every ribbon. Every tiny detail. โYou still have that receipt from our aquarium date?โ I stared at him in horror. โItโs sentimental.โ โYouโre actually insane.โ โYouโre literally dating me willingly.โ Fair point.
Later that night, when the apartment grew quieter and the christmas lights became the only thing illuminating the room, Heeseung suddenly stood up before holding his hand toward me. โDance with me.โ I looked at him softly. Then placed my hand in his. Slow dancing with Lee Heeseung felt dangerously intimate. His arms rested around my waist while mine looped around his neck, our bodies swaying slowly together in the middle of the living room. No cameras. No noise. No expectations. Just us. His forehead rested against mine as his eyes slowly fluttered shut. And quietlyโ so quietly it almost got lost beneath the musicโhe whispered:
โCan we stay like this forever?โ My heart ached. Not painfully. Justโฆfull. I smiled before leaning forward and kissing him softly. โYeah,โ I whispered against his lips. โForever sounds nice,โ he murmured quietly against my skin, his voice drowsy from exhaustion and warmth alike. The words settled somewhere dangerously deep inside my chest. Forever. Such a terrifyingly big word. Yet when it came from Lee Heeseung, spoken softly while his arms were wrapped around me like I was the only thing keeping him together, it didnโt feel scary at all. It felt comforting. Warm. Like home.
I smiled faintly, my fingers threading through the soft strands of his red hair as he rested his head against my shoulder, practically melting into me inch by inch. โBtw...โ his voice came out muffled against my neck. โHm?โ He tilted his head just enough to look at me, his cheek still squished against my shoulder while his tired eyes blinked up at me lazily. God, he looked so unfairly adorable like this. Fresh from tour, exhausted beyond belief, clingy to the point of shamelessness and yet somehow still looking like the prettiest person I have ever laid my eyes on.
His fingers tightened around my waist beneath the oversized hoodie I was wearing โ his hoodie. โCan I come over whenever I get lost?โ he asked quietly. โEven if itโs late. Or ugly hours. Or when Iโm too tired to think properly.โ His lips curved into the faintest smile. โLike... can I just come to you?โ My heart actually hurt. Not in a bad way. In that overwhelming kind of way where love becomes too much for one body to hold properly. I stared at him for a few seconds before lightly flicking his forehead.
โOw.โ He frowned immediately, offended. โYouโre so annoying,โ I muttered softly, trying to hide how emotional that made me feel. โWhy are you asking permission for that?โ He blinked at me quietly. I cupped his face gently this time, brushing my thumb beneath his eyes where exhaustion still lingered no matter how much he tried to hide it. โYou can come over whenever you want, idiot,โ I whispered. โYou donโt need permission for that.โ Something shifted in his expression then. It softened. Completely. Like those words alone removed some invisible weight off his shoulders. He leaned into my palm instinctively, eyes fluttering shut for a second before opening again. โReally?โ
I stared at him in disbelief. โLee Heeseung, if you ask me that one more time, Iโm kicking you out into the snow.โ He burst into sleepy giggles immediately, the sound warm and airy as he buried his face into my neck again. โOkay, okay. I got it.โ โGood.โ โBut...โ he mumbled. โOh my god, thereโs more?โ โI just...โ he tightened his arms around me even more somehow, practically gluing himself to me now. โI think this is the first time in a long while where I donโt feel tired.โ My teasing expression faded instantly. He continued quietly.
โWhen Iโm with you, everything becomes quiet here.โ He tapped lightly against his chest. โAnd here too.โ Then against his head. โIt doesnโt feel loud anymore.โ I swallowed hard. Outside the windows, snowflakes continued falling softly from the night sky, coating the city in white little by little while Christmas lights reflected against the glass beautifully. The tree lights twinkled beside us warmly, filling the apartment with gold and red glows while the scent of freshly baked cookies still lingered in the air. And in the middle of all that warmth sat Lee Heeseung โ tangled with me on the couch in matching hoodies, sleepy eyes barely open, hair messy from my fingers, holding me like I was something precious. Something worth coming home to. I donโt think he understood what he did to me. How deeply he was loved. I pressed a lingering kiss against his forehead, feeling him melt further into me instantly.
โWe should really go wash up before sleeping,โ I reminded softly. โOr youโll complain tomorrow morning that your skin feels weird.โ He groaned dramatically. โNooo...โ โYes.โ โBut we just got you back.โ โYouโre being clingy.โ โAnd?โ He looked up at me shamelessly. โYou say that like itโs supposed to stop me.โ I snorted. He grinned proudly before suddenly kissing my jaw once. Then again. Then another near my cheek.
โHeeseung.โ โHm?โ kiss. โLet's go wash up.โ โFive more minutes.โ kiss. โYou said that twenty minutes ago.โ โThen twenty-five.โ I rolled my eyes while he giggled against my skin, completely unbothered. God. This man really did recharge through physical affection. And honestly? I let him.
YOUR TURN โ 1. A phrase used in a gangbang to tell the next person waiting that itโs time for them to step in and get involved.
2. A slutโs opportunityโthe moment when it is finally her chance to act, indulge, and surrender herself after others have already taken theirs. The phrase emphasizes delayed gratification, where the receiver eagerly awaits her turn to be used or to participate after hearing others go before her.
content tags/warnings: hyung line x reader, reader is horny and desperate, men are assholes, inspired by the show series euphoria. explicit content (smut): porn with no plot at all, gangbang, face fucking, facials, nipple play, fingering, oral fixation, unprotected sex, degrading language, pet names (baby, sweetheart, darling etc), double penetration, protected anal sex, slapping, hentai like expressions, handjob, overstimulation, tits fucking, squirting, lack of verbal consent in some scenes, choking, pain play, creampie, this is straight up porn but have a potential romance at the end. lmk if i missed something. WC: 17.2K
It wasn't like you were some kind of slut, right?
Who were you kidding? Any girl with a working pussy would drool if she stood close enough to those four men. Not just because of their looks, not just because of the sharp edges of their jawlines or the way their eyes seemed to strip people down without touching them, but because how they confidently carried themselves. Their scent. That mix of cologne and sweat that made your throat dry the second they passed by. It wasn't normal, not the way your body reacted. Not the way your thighs pressed together when you thought of them. But you kept telling yourself it was.ย It had to be.
Lee Heeseung, Park Jongseong, Sim Jaeyun, and Park Sunghoon.ย
Four names that rang louder than any lecture in your university halls. Four names whispered in bathrooms, shouted across freedom walls, written down in anonymous confessions like some fucking campus legends. Everyone knew them. Everyone wanted them. And everyone, at least once, wondered what it would be like to be touched by them.
People pretended to sneer at their lives, at the rumors tied around them, but the truth always leaked throughโenvy, hunger, the kind of desperate need nobody wanted to admit out loud. Because deep down, every damn rumor about them only made them more untouchable, more godlike.
And then there was that one rumor. The one that tore through the university like wildfire.
Theย gangbangย story.
The most scandalous, dirtiest thing anyone had ever whispered, and yet nobody could stop talking about it.
Nobody could prove it. Nobody knew if it was just a story made up by someone bored, but fuck, if it had been real... if it had been real, then you weren't sure what was worse. The fact that people called it disgusting or the fact that it made your whole body clench with jealousy.
How fucking scandalous. How fucking disgusting.
And how fucking pathetic that every time you thought about it, your chest got tight, your mouth went dry, and all you could think was: if that rumor had ever been true, if those four had ever taken a girl like that, then why the fuck wasn't itย you?
"Someone caught Jake making out with a girl from Tourism!"
"Someone said Sunghoon's been fucking that sophomore from another building!"
"Have you heard that Jay is smoking at the back of the building while the TA sucks him off? Geez, what a lucky girl."
"And that cheerleader said Heeseung likes girls who can spread their legs wide!"
Your hands gripped your pen tighter, knuckles turning pale, jaw clenched as the chatter bled into your ears. Every fucking sentence was the sameโdifferent girls, different places, different dirty detailsโbut the same four names, always the same four names. It was exhausting, it was maddening, and it was starting to chew holes into your focus.
"Stop it," you hissed finally, snapping your head up to face the group of girls clustered near the corner. "There are people here who are trying to study. Maybe try doing that instead of running your mouths about men and their sex lives. Do you have no shame?"
The table went quiet, their smirks twitching as they shared quick glances between themselves. One girl rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath, but none of them pushed back. They just leaned back into their seats, whispering low but not low enough, as if they wanted you to hear every giggle, every stifled laugh.
You tried to turn back to your notes, but your pulse wouldn't settle. You're not annoyed that they were gossipping.
You were jealous.
Jealous that every rumor had someone else's name attached to it. Jealous that every filthy story, every detail, every moan that lived in their words belonged to another girl andย notย to you.
Fuck!ย It'sย unfair! It'sย soย unfair! Why was it always someone else? Why did it have to be another girl they kissed, another girl they bent over, another girl who got to hear their voices from fucking?
You exhaled sharply through your nose, trying to drown it out, trying to stay steady. But every word of theirs came back to the same thing. Their dicks. Their moans. Their fucking. And all it did was remind you that you hadn't had a single taste of any of it, not even once.
Fuck it. When was it supposed to beย your turn?
You tried. God, you fucking tried. You started dragging yourself to every fraternity party you caught wind of, even ones you had no business going to, all in hopes of catching just one of their eyes. You would push through sweaty bodies and strobe lights, pretending to dance, pretending to laugh, only to learn that Jay had already gotten bored and left long before you even stepped in. The disappointment would choke you, but you still kept showing up.ย
Like some desperate puppy waiting for scraps.
You started waxing everything, every inch of your body, until your skin burned. You bought bottles of expensive perfume you couldn't even afford, ones that clung to your clothes and hair until it made you dizzy. You thought maybe, they liked girls who smelled clean, who looked like they had their shit together, but deep down you knew it didn't matter. Because how would they ever notice when you didn't even have the guts to open your mouth?
"Uh... do you know, like, how to talk to Heeseung?" you asked, trying to keep your voice casual while your eyes betrayed you, glued to the tall figure across the library.
He was sliding books off a shelf, completely unaware of the way your whole body went tense, your throat dry, your palms slick with sweat. Even from a distance you swore you could smell him, that same maddening warmth that clung to him whenever he walked past.
Your friend blinked, eyebrows raised as though she couldn't believe the words had actually come out of your mouth. "About what? You know damn well he doesn't talk to girls in public. People only talk about how he fucks them hard and then disappears. No contact. Nothing.ย Ever." She scoffed, dismissing it with a wave of her hand, before her gaze sharpened on you. A smirk tugged at her lips and she let out a loud laugh that made your ears burn. "Wait. Don't tell me you're actually planning something. You think you're gonna get him to fuck you?"
Her laughter made your eye twitch. You felt her gaze scan over you, up and down, picking apart everything you were, everything you weren't. She reached over, patting your shoulder in a way that only made you feel smaller.
"It's okay to dream big," she said, lips curving into a cruel little smile, "but let me shatter that for you. He would never, okay? Hmm?"
Something in your chest snapped at her words. Anger rose, clinging to your ribs until you thought you'd choke on it. How fucking dare she? How dare she look at you like that, laugh at you like you weren't even worth a second glance? How high did she think of herself, how low did she think of you?
But you swallowed it, burying the sharpness down where no one could see. You curved your lips into a laugh that sounded almost real, almost lighthearted, even though your nails dug into your palm under the table. "Silly you," you said sweetly, tilting your head like it didn't sting, "I was just trying to interview him for sports journalism. Don't get too talkative about fucking, though. It sounds like you're reflecting your own frustrations."
You smiled brighter, watching her expression falter for just a second before she scoffed again and turned back to her notes.
You needed to think. You needed to dig deeper into yourself, to find a way, any way, because you refused to lose. You refused to accept being invisible.
Every single morning became a routine.
You would drag yourself out of bed before the sun even touched the sky, forcing your heavy eyes open as you stood in front of the mirror. You styled your hair until not a single strand was out of place, you layered makeup carefully until your reflection looked like someone worth noticing, and you scrubbed your skin until it stung, until it shone smooth under your fingertips. Your closet was picked apart daily, clothes scattered across your floor, until you found the outfit that made you feel like you could walk down the hall with your head high, like you were worth a second glance.
And every time, when the clock struck the hour you knew they would be walking down the hallway, you stood ready. Shoulders straight, steps measured, chest tight with nerves as you waited for them to pass. You tried to look effortless, confident, perfect. But it shattered you every single time when none of them looked your way. Their eyes stayed forward, their voices low between themselves, their expressions unchanged as if you were nothing more than air. Your hands would grow limp at your sides, your confidence bleeding out of you as you glanced behind your shoulder, mouth parted slightly, helplessly staring at their broad shoulders moving further and further away from you.
The frustration followed you. At night, you laid in bed with their faces behind your eyelids, your thighs pressed together until you couldn't stand it anymore.
You touched yourself with the thought of them, not just one but all four, surrounding you, using you, making you theirs in every filthy way you had imagined. You came undone to fantasies of their hands pulling your hair, their voices groaning against your ear, your body stretched thin for them, and the pleasure left you gasping, sweating, shaking in the dark. Yet as soon as it ended, as soon as your heartbeat slowed, you already hated yourself. Because no matter how hard you wanted it, morning would come again, and the cycle would repeat. You'd wake up early, fix yourself to perfection, pass them in the hallway, and watch them ignore you.
The days blurred into each other, but the whispers always found you. Another rumor spread like fire, another story about them with another girl, and it burned you alive from the inside.
You wanted to scream at how unfair it was, how humiliating it felt that you couldn't stop aching for something you might never get. Sometimes you almost laughed at yourself, at how pathetic you must have looked, stuck between jealousy and desperation, unable to let go.
"Wow, what perfume do you use? You smell so good!" Your classmate's voice cut through your thoughts one day, her hand brushing casually across your arm. "And your lotion too? Your skin feels amazing."
The touch startled you, and the question almost made you snap. "It's just Victoria's Secret," you hissed automatically, jerking your hand slightly to free yourself. But the moment you saw her surprised face, you realized what you had done, and quickly masked it with a sweet smile. "Sorry, I'm in a bad mood, forgive me? It's Velvet Petals. But I exfoliate with Dove first. That's probably why."
Her lips curved into a bright smile, her eyes scanning you with something almost admiring. "It's okay! You look really, really, really pretty, you know? And you're so sweet. I just hope you don't fall into the wrong hands."
The way she said it made your stomach twist. You knew exactly who she was talking about, and the mocking tone in her voice when she mentioned "wrong hands" made it worse. Those fuckboys. That's what they all called them, as if the four of them weren't the most wanted men on campus, as if everyone's mouths didn't water at the thought of being ruined by them.
You held your smile, but inside, the anger returned, pulsing hotter than before. They all thought they were above you. They all thought they could talk about them like that and laugh at you for wanting something they secretly wanted too. They were liars, hypocrites, hiding their hunger under judgment while you carried yours openly in your chest.
You pressed your lips together, leaning closer to her so your words came out soft, almost playful. "Maybe falling into the wrong hands isn't always such a bad thing."
Her eyes widened slightly, confusion flickering across her face as you sat back again, smiling politely like nothing had happened.
But in your head, the thought echoed, louder, heavier, filthier.
If those hands were theirs, you would fall gladly.
The party was dragging, the music pounding but lifeless, the people are drunk butย boring. You wondered for the tenth time why you even bothered showing up.
The whole campus had been buzzing about this night, everyone whispering about how it would be wild because they would be here. But the most boring part of it all was exactly thatโthey weren't.
No sign of the four men everyone was expecting. And for that, you hated yourself a little. You hated that you had wasted another expensive outfit, another spritz of your favorite perfume, another hour in front of the mirror just to sit there and look pretty for nothing.
Your cheek rested lazily against your hand as you swirled the watered-down alcohol in your glass. Your eyes lingered on the girl across the room, perched on the couch, laughing with a group of guys who had crowded her like she was the crown jewel of the night. She looked so damn proud of herself, flipping her hair and soaking up their attention like it was worth something.
You almost felt bad for herโbecause those men? God, they were fuckingย ugly. The kind of guys who had nothing going for them except being loud and drunk enough to fill her space. And she was pretty, too pretty for the trash sitting beside her, too wasted to notice she could do better.
You sighed, your eyes dropping back down to your glass, watching the last pieces of ice melt into nothing. Maybe you should leave. Maybe you should give up, call it another wasted night, drag yourself back to bed where you could rot under the covers and imagine what it would feel like if the four men ever actually noticed you.
"Hi."
The single word pierced through the noise around you. Your breath caught, and you nearly threw your glass across the table. Your back went ramrod straight as you turned, your heart slamming against your ribs so hard it hurt. When your eyes landed on the figures behind you, everything inside of you went still before spiraling into chaos.
Jake. Sunghoon.
Two of them. Standing there. Talking. To you.
Your throat closed, your tongue heavy, your thoughts shattering into broken pieces as if the universe had finally played its sick joke on you. What the fuck was happening? Jake and Sunghoonโout of everyone in this crowded roomโwere standing in front of you, looking at you, waiting for you.
"H-Hi?" The word slipped out, so small, so shaky you almost cringed at yourself.
Jake's smile spread, his gaze running over you like he was unwrapping you with his eyes. He didn't hide the way he lingered on the pink silk dress clinging to your body or the way his eyes glinted when he caught the gems glittering delicately across your skin. The weight of his stare made your thighs press together without you even thinking about it.
"Where's your friends?" He shifted his hands casually into his pockets, flashing a smile. "I organized this party, you know. I almost felt bad seeing you sitting here alone."
You swallowed hard, the words tangling on your tongue. This was the moment you'd been waiting for, the one you had begged for, dreamed of, touched yourself over. And yet, your body betrayed you, trembling as you almost flinched under the weight of their presence.
"M-My friends a-are... uh... there." Your shaky hand lifted, pointing weakly toward the dance floor, and the second you did it you wanted to melt into the floor and disappear.
Sunghoon's low laugh broke the air. He leaned forward slightly, his dark eyes fixed on you as if he could see straight through every flimsy layer of composure you were trying to hold together. "And they exclude you? What bad friends you have."
The closeness of him made your brain dissolve. His perfume, his cologne, the sharp tang of alcohol still lingering on his lipsโGod, you wanted to taste it, to drown in it. He didn't even touch you, but his nearness was enough to make your body tense, your lips parting before you realized it.
"Want to join us?"ย Sunghoon asked smoothly.
"W-Where?" you squeaked.
"Well, we can drink outsideโ" Sunghoon started, but Jake cut him off with a voice that left no room for argument.
"At Heeseung's private room." His tone was steady, certain, his stare locked on you, waiting for your reaction.
For a split second, Sunghoon's eyes widened at Jake's bluntness. You caught the quick glance he shot him, an unspoken message passing between them, before his smirk slid back into place. He didn't need to argue. He didn't need to say a thing. Because the moment the words "Heeseung's private room" left Jake's mouth, your body had already betrayed you.
Your lips trembled, your voice breaking into a whisper.ย "Yes."
And there it wasโthe one word that sealed everything.
Jake's smirk deepened, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction as he tilted his head ever so slightly, studying you like you had just handed yourself over. Sunghoon's grin widened, his teeth flashing as he straightened up, amusement flickering in his gaze.
"Good girl," Jake murmured under his breath.
Your chest tightened, your breath caught, and every ounce of you screamed that this was it. The moment you had been waiting for, the moment you had dreamed of, the moment you could never come back from.
And you didn't fucking care.
The door creaked open and Heeseung froze at the threshold, his tall frame stiffening instantly as his eyes landed on the scene.
Jake had one hand tangled in your hair, his cock buried between your lips, his head thrown back as he groaned through clenched teeth. Sunghoon was draped across your back, his chest pressing heavily against you, his hand pinching and rolling your nipples mercilessly while his lips brushed your skin, leaving icy trails that made you shiver.
Your body was positioned like some offeringโhands and knees spread like a cat, ass swaying slightly with every thrust of Jake's hips.
"Seriously?" Heeseung's voice was carrying irritation. He shut the door, though he didn't walk away.
The noise made you whimper, muffled around Jake's cock, the vibration of your moan sending shudders up his spine. Jake gritted his teeth and hissed through a laugh, thrusting harder until the blunt head of his dick slammed against the back of your throat. He held you there with one firm grip in your hair, pushing until your nose bumped against the hard plane of his stomach. Your eyes watered, your chest heaved, but the desperation inside you drowned out every thought of resistance.
It hadn't started like this. At first, it was only drinks, games, laughter and teasing, until Jake leaned forward and suggested body shots. You hadn't even hesitated; the heat of their attention had already melted through you, and Jake had almost laughed at how quickly you had fallen into their hands.
And now, here you were, drooling and choking on his cock while Sunghoon twisted your nipples until your whole body jerked with every pinch.
"Your favorite member is here," Jake taunted, his gaze dropping down to you, then flicking toward the figure standing silently by the door. His smirk widened as he forced another thrust into your mouth. "Bro, she's been asking where the fuck you were. You took so long, she already came in her panties just from Sunghoon teasing her tits."
Heat shot through your face as the humiliation wrapped around you. Tears streamed freely down your cheeks, staining the gems near your eyes, but none of it stopped you from flattening your tongue against the base of his cock, licking every inch you could reach while your throat spasmed around him. The shame twisted into aย darker, sharper, more intoxicating feeling than you ever imagined.
This was it.ย This was the dream. The one you'd fucked yourself to in silence night after night, the one you had burned for. And now you were living it, choking, moaning, tears streaking your face, every filthy detail of it everything you had ever wanted.
You couldn't see Heeseung clearly from where you knelt, but you felt him. His gaze was heavy, dragging over you, making your pussy clench at nothing. You knew he was watching the way your lips stretched around Jake's cock, the way your chest heaved as Sunghoon tortured your nipples, the way you looked so fucked out and desperate already.
"The rumors about us are already spreading, and you have the guts to do this?" Heeseung's voice finally cut through with restrained anger. He stepped closer, his shoes quiet against the floor until his shadow stretched across you. You could feel his eyes on your crying, messy face, and it only made your cunt throb harder, soaking your panties.
Jake laughed through a groan, his hips grinding against your lips as his cock slid deeper. Sunghoon joined him with a low chuckle, his cold mouth pressing into your nape as his fingers tugged the straps of your dress down your shoulders. The silk slipped easily, baring your chest fully to Heeseung's view, your nipples stiff and swollen as Sunghoon's thumb and finger rolled them until you moaned around Jake's length.
"Come on,"ย Sunghoon murmured against your ear, his voice is taunting. "You know we always loveย sharing." His lips traced your skin as his hand pushed your dress lower, exposing more, leaving nothing for modesty.
Heeseung's jaw tensed, but his eyes betrayed him. He couldn't look away. His cock stirred against his pants, hardening slowly with every sound that left you, with every pathetic little whimper muffled by Jake's cock. He watched the tears streak down your face, the way your hand lifted shakily from the floor, reaching for him.
Your fingers trembled as they hovered against his thigh, then slid higher until they brushed over the hard bulge in his pants. Your eyes lifted toward him, glassy, half-lidded, drowning in tears and lust, staring directly into his.
Heeseung exhaled sharply, his composure cracking.
And when your palm pressed firmer against him, stroking lightly through the fabric, his cock throbbed in response.
Your back arched off when Heeseung's hands moved to his belt. The sight alone was enough to make your chest tighten and your pussy throb, your body reacting with a hunger you couldn't disguise. Sunghoon caught it immediately, his laugh was low against your ear, mocking the way you looked so desperate without shame. He shifted off you, giving Heeseung room.
"Does Jay know about this?" Heeseung asked, his eyes shifting toward Jake and Sunghoon as if demanding an explanation even while his hands were already pulling at his clothes.
Jake's grin widened, still slick with your spit as he slid his cock from your mouth. "It's a surprise," he answered simply, as if that explained everything. His hand squeezed the back of your neck one last time before releasing you, and your body slumped against the mattress, chest heaving, throat raw. But before you could even recover, Heeseung's hands pressed against you, guiding your body flat onto your back, his touch so commanding you followed without question.
The world tilted when the fabric of your dress slipped from your shoulders, your body fully bared under their stares. Sunghoon leaned close again, his nose brushing your cheek as his voice dipped. "Look at thoseย prettyย eyes." His words curled into your skin, and you whimpered before turning toward him, your lips crashing into his. The kiss was messy, desperate, your mouth opening wide for him, your tongue tangling with his like you could pull the heat out of him and swallow it whole.
Jake's fingers hooked your panties and dragged them down your legs, his eyes glued to the slick mess between your thighs. The moment he saw your pussy clenching and unclenching around nothing, a growl broke from his throat.
Heeseung's response was just as guttural, his eyes narrowing as he dropped down onto his knees beside Jake, their shoulders brushing as if they were competing for the same prize. Without hesitation, they lifted your legs, spreading you shamelessly open, one of your thighs resting on each of their broad shoulders.
Sunghoon didn't let you breathe. His mouth consumed yours, his tongue pressing harder, his teeth tugging your bottom lip as his hand cradled your jaw, keeping you locked against him. You barely managed a moan into his mouth when the first hot lick dragged across your clit, the sudden sensation shooting up your spine that you tore yourself away from Sunghoon's kiss. Your eyes flew down, wide and dazed, only to meet Heeseung's sharp gaze staring up at you while his lips wrapped around your clit, sucking with deliberate, teasing pulls.
Your mouth fell open, your chest rising and falling rapidly, but you didn't dare blink. You couldn't miss theย sightย of his face buried between your legs, his tongue flattening against your sensitive bud and flicking so slowly it bordered on torture. Your thighs shook, trying to close, but his grip on your hips was unyielding.
"Hey," Sunghoon muttered, his fingers squeezing your chin until your eyes snapped back to him. His gaze was dark, narrowed, a flicker of jealousy twisting in it. "I was the one who found you. Give me some attention."
Your whimpers came small, but you still obeyed, your hand trembling as he guided it down between his legs. The hard ridge of his cock was burning against the fabric of his pants. The moment your palm pressed against him, your body shivered from the weight of him.
They wereย massive. You had heard the whispers from other girls, but no rumor had prepared you for the truth. Your fingers wrapped around him, squeezing gently through the fabric, and Sunghoon's lips parted, his breath catching as his hips rocked into your touch.
"Fuck," he groaned, head dropping to your shoulder, his teeth grazing your skin as if your touch alone was enough to push him toward the edge.
And then Jake bit down on your inner thigh, hard enough to make you cry out, his tongue following the sting with a wet, sucking kiss that left your skin marked. Heeseung's lips abandoned your clit, only to press lower, his tongue flattening against your dripping entrance before slurping noisily at the wetness pooling there. The sound was obscene, messy, and you moaned louder than you ever had, the combination of Jake's teeth marking your thighs and Heeseung's mouth devouring you unraveling every last thread of composure you had.
"Shh."ย Sunghoon's voice was ragged as his hand pressed against your jaw again, his hips grinding into your palm while his other hand fumbled with his belt. His pants dropped down his thighs, and when he freed himself, your eyes widened, your mouth watering instantly at the sight. His cock was flushed and heavy, the tip glistening with pre-cum, so thick it almost made your stomach flutter with fear.
Your legs were trembling uncontrollably, but you couldn't close them, not when Jake and Heeseung had you pinned wide open, their mouths swapping positions greedily between your clit and your entrance.
Jake was hungrier, reckless with the way his tongue plunged into you, his lips sucking against your folds so loudly it drowned out even the bass from the music downstairs. You could feel him moan against you, his hands gripping your thighs tighter, his whole face buried as if he wanted to drown in your pussy.
"Sayย ah," Sunghoon knelt in front of you, his cock gripped tightly in his hand. You obeyed instantly, your lips falling open, your eyes wide and locked on his face.
The expression he wore was enough to make your stomach twistโhis brows drawn tight, his lips parted as if he were biting back a curse, his gaze focused entirely on your mouth as though nothing else in the world existed.
"So eager," he whispered hoarsely, his cock brushing against your lips as pre-cum smeared across them.ย "Fuck."
Heeseung rose slowly from between your thighs, his lips and chin slick with your wetness, his chest lifting heavily with each breath. His gaze drifted down over your trembling body, then to Sunghoon's cock hovering dangerously close to your lips, before his large hands moved to your chest. The weight of his touch was deliberate, kneading the softness of your breasts, his thumbs dragging over your nipples until they tightened again under his attention.
The combination was unbearable, your body jerking at every angle, twitching against their hands and mouths as if you no longer had control over it. Sunghoon's sudden pace had your cheeks hollowing, his cock stretching your lips as he thrust with low, restrained groans.
At the same time, Heeseung's fingers twisted your nipples mercilessly, sharp flicks that sent heat rushing to your core, and Jake's tongue was buried inside you, fucking your entrance with wet, eager strokes. Each movement pulled you in a different direction, your body caught in the middle of all three of them until you felt yourself unraveling at the seams.
Your head was spinning, dizzy from the sensation. The world tilted and blurred, your muffled moans spilling out against Sunghoon's cock, your tears streaking down your cheeks. It was overwhelming, but in theย best way, better than anything you had ever experienced, better than every fumbling encounter that left you aching and unsatisfied.
This was hunger given form, this was desire being fed by three men who knew exactly how to break you. Every flick of Heeseung's fingers, every thrust of Jake's tongue, every push of Sunghoon's cock made your stomach coil tighter and tighter, until the knot inside you threatened to snap.
And then it did.
You came so hard it tore a strangled cry out of your throat, your body convulsing with the force of it. The orgasm crashed into you violently, your back arching off the bed, your legs trembling as Jake's hands clamped down on your thighs to keep you open.
You almost bit down on Sunghoon from the shock of it, your mouth clenching, your throat spasming, and he pulled back with a sharp hiss, his hand replacing himself on your lips to keep you from choking. But Jake didn't stop; he didn't even pause. His tongue twisted deep inside you, lapping greedily at everything you gave him, his head moving side to side as if he wanted to drink you dry. He held you down through every wave, prolonging the orgasm until you thought your body might tear apart from how hard you were shaking.
"Fuck, ahโfuck, shit," Sunghoon cursed above you, his voice breaking into a groan. His grip tightened on your jaw as his release hit suddenly, hot ropes of cum splattering across your face in quick, forceful bursts. Some streaked down your lips, some across your cheeks, and one stray spurt landed in your eye, stinging faintly but drowned out by the overwhelming tide of pleasure still wrecking your body.
You barely processed it, too lost in the pulsing aftershocks of your orgasm and the relentless flicks of Heeseung's thumbs still torturing your nipples. The sensation was too much, every nerve in your body stretched taut as Jake's mouth sealed back over your clit, his tongue circling lazily as he wanted to drag every last drop of climax from you.
Your sobs broke into gasps, your chest rising sharply, your face sticky with Sunghoon's cum, your throat raw from the moans you couldn't stop. And still, Heeseung's eyes stayed locked on you, darkly watching you writhe.
"I need to fuck her already," Heeseung finally muttered, already standing.
Jake stopped what he was doing and glared at him, his jaw clenched. "Who the fuck said you were gonna be first? I was the one who talked to her. I was the one who had her on her knees until now." His hands went to his shirt, ripping it over his head before shoving his pants down impatiently, his irritation burning through every motion.
Sunghoon sighed, throwing his head back, eyes half-lidded as he grabbed your shaky hand and wrapped it around his cock. "You two are always fighting about this shit," he muttered, ignoring the tension and letting you stroke him, his hips lifting slightly into your fist. His lashes fluttered shut as a low groan escaped him. "Fuck, that's it.ย Don't stop, baby. Just keep going. That's all I need."
"Fuck off,"ย Heeseung snapped as he took a step closer. "You've both had enough time playing with her. I've been waiting, and I'm not standing here any longer."
Your eyes darted between them, your chest rising in short, desperate pulls of breath, before landing on Sunghoon again. He was still focused only on you, his hand over yours, guiding you up and down his thick cock. "Feels so fucking good," he groaned, his voice breaking, his neck exposed as his head fell back.
"That's why I get to be the first to fuck her," Jake shot back, standing tall now, his cock hard and throbbing against his stomach. His smirk was sharp, challenging. "You were late. I've been making her drip for me."
Sunghoon leaned closer to you, his breath hot against your ear, his lips brushing the corner of your jaw. "Ignore them, baby. Just focus on me." His other hand slid around your waist, tugging you closer until his lips pressed firmly against your neck. He kissed you hard, then nipped at your skin, his teeth dragging up to your jaw before biting again. You gasped at the sting, your hand stroking him faster, your wrist straining with the effort.
"Such aย good girl," he moaned, his lips vibrating against your throat. His fingers slipped down your belly until they found your soaked pussy again, circling lazily around your entrance. The teasing pressure made you jolt, your moans tumbling out helplessly as he finally pushed one finger inside. Your walls clenched instantly, wrapping tight around him, and his sharp groan against your ear told you exactly how much he liked it. "So tight," he whispered, almost to himself, before sinking another finger inside.
"Sunghoonโ" your voice broke, whimpering, the heat spreading too fast through your core as his hand worked inside you.
"Keep those pretty legs open for me, baby," he murmured, his lips dragging down to your shoulder, his teeth grazing the delicate skin. "Need to stretch this pussy for all of us. You want that, don't you? Want to take us all?"
Your only answer was a frantic nod, your lips trembling as your hand gripped his cock tighter, pumping him faster even as your own body shuddered from his fingers curling deep inside.
"You seem to be enjoying yourself too much, Sunghoon," Jake hissed, stepping forward. His hand shot out, pulling you roughly away from Sunghoon's grip.
You whined at the sudden loss, your body immediately protesting the absence of his fingers inside you.
"Shhh, darling," Jake cooed mockingly, wiping at your cum-stained face with his thumb before pressing his lips against yours in a hungry kiss. His mouth was demanding, tasting, his teeth nipping at your lower lip before pulling back with a smirk. "Me and Heeseung will make you feel so fucking good. You want that, don't you?"
"Yes," you whimpered without hesitation, nodding quickly, your desperation spilling through. You turned on your hands and knees before they could even tell you, body moving on instantly because you knew. You'd heard the whispers. You knew this was how Jake liked to fuckโrough, from behind, with no mercy. "Please."
Jake's laugh was low, almost breathless as he stared at your ass. "Fuck, you don't even need to be told. So hot like this." His palm cracked against your cheek, the sting making you moan as he spread you open with his hands.
Your eyes flicked up, catching Sunghoon againโhe was watching with his lip caught between his teeth, his hand wrapped tight around his cock, stroking lazily as his gaze devoured you.
And then your eyes trailed higher, locking with Heeseung, who was standing in front of you, holding the base of his thick cock as if offering it to you. You opened your mouth instantly, ready to take him, but instead he grabbed your chin, tilting your head until you were forced to look up at him.
You sucked in a sharp breath when Jake's tip pressed against your soaked pussy, your entire body stiffening at the stretch before he even entered. His grip on your waist was bruising, anchoring you in place.
"Shit," Jake groaned under his breath, his voice breaking into a growl as he pushed in deeper. "How long has it been since you've been fucked like this? You're tight as fuck."
Your whimpers filled the air, your eyes locked on Heeseung's as he squished your cheeks between his large hand.
"Talk," Heeseung demanded, his eyes burning down into you. "Don't just sit there like a pretty little toy. Tell us what you want. Say it."
The moment he said it, Jake shoved his cock all the way inside you, the sudden fullness making your head drop forward with a cry.
"Moan louder. Scream our names. Tell us what to do to you," Heeseung ordered, pushing you to the edge as Jake's thrusts started to slam into you from behind.
"Iโ" you stammered through gasps, your body buckling under the rhythm. "I've been dreaming of this since first year." The confession tumbled out without filter, every word dripping with desperation.
Your honesty ripped a sound from both Jake and Sunghoon, low groans that mixed with the slick sound of your body being fucked. Heeseung's gaze hardened, his nostrils flaring as his jaw clenched. Jake's thrusts grew harsher, his hips snapping against you with punishing speed.
"W-want all of you to use meโfuck me,ย please!" you squealed, your voice cracking as Jake's cock found that spot inside you and hit it mercilessly.
Jake's laugh was cruel, his words spilling out between moans. "Yeah? That's why you gave in so fucking easy? Thought we'd have to drag it out of you, but you just spread those legs like the slut you are." His hand clamped down on your arms, dragging you back onto his cock as he fucked you harder, each thrust shaking your body forward.
Tears pooled again in your eyes as you shook your head weakly, your voice breaking between cries. "N-not a slut! D-don't call me thatโah, f-fuck!ย Jake!"
But he only thrust faster, slamming into you, groaning at how you clenched so tightly around him the harder he degraded you.
"Yeah?" Jake's voice dropped to a whisper, his lips brushing against your ear, his breath hot and ragged. "Then why the fuck are you here like this? Why are you dripping on me if you're not exactly what I called you?" His thrusts grew erratic, pounding straight into the softest spot inside you, making your knees tremble, making your nails dig into the sheets until your knuckles turned white.
You couldn't even answer him at first, because the way he was fucking you made your thoughts scatter, your mouth falling open as broken sounds spilled out. But then Heeseung was on you again, his hand fisting in your hair, pulling your head back so you had no choice but to meet his eyes.
"Come on," Heeseung murmured. His thumb brushed over your trembling bottom lip before tightening his grip on your hair, forcing your mouth open slightly. "Ignore him. Tell us what you need. Use that pretty voice."
Your chest heaved, your lashes fluttering, every nerve in your body screaming for more. "Want youโ" your voice cracked, "want you all toย fillย m-my pussy up." The words came out broken, but loud enough for all of them to hear. Your body arched as another wave of Jake's thrusts sent shocks of heat through you, and you sobbed through your moan. "G-give me your biggest load, make me your toy for tonightโahhh!"
Your scream broke off when Jake's hand slipped down, his fingers pinching your clit hard before slapping it over and over, sharp little bursts of pain crashing into the overwhelming pleasure. The mix had your eyes rolling back into your skull, your mouth falling open as drool slipped from the corner of your lips.
"Yes! Fuck, yes!"ย you squealed, your voice hoarse, your body jerking helplessly as the coil in your stomach twisted tight, tighter than before. Your thighs shook violently, your legs threatening to give out beneath you if it weren't for Jake's grip anchoring you in place. Every nerve screamed release, but he didn't stop, his cock drilling into you, his fingers punishing your clit until you were certain you'd break.
"Where do you want it?" Jake grunted against your neck, his thrusts almost brutal now, each one stealing the air from your lungs. "Where do you want me to cum, huh? Say it."
Heeseung tugged your hair harder, forcing your eyes to meet his again, his dark gaze pinning you as if daring you to answer wrong. Sunghoon's low groans filled the room behind them, the sound of his fist gliding over his cock only making the moment heavier.
Your lips trembled as you tried to form the words, every part of you shaking, drowning in pleasure, drowning in them.
"Anywhere," you gasped. "In my mouth, in my face, in my body, in my pussyโjust fucking cum anywhere in me!"
"Fuck!" Jake groaned. His palm came down on your clit with a sharp slap that had your legs trembling so violently, your pussy clenching down on him with merciless tightness. The shock sent your body into another wave, your scream cutting through the air as you came hard around his cock, your walls fluttering, soaking him with everything you had.
The way you pulsed around him dragged him over the edge, his hips snapping forward with reckless speed until his cock throbbed and spilled, his hot cum spilling deep inside you in thick spurts that made your stomach twist with satisfaction. The moment you felt him paint your walls, you let out a long, broken moan, almost sobbing at how good it felt, how badly you'd needed it.
Heeseung finally let go of your hair, stepping back just far enough to watch you crumble under Jake. His eyes were locked on the mess between your legs, on the sight of Jake's cock still buried in you while his cum leaked out in slow, obscene drips.
His hand slid down his abdomen until he was stroking himself openly, his jaw tight, his breathing heavy. The look in his eyes told you he was seconds away from joining, and that thought made your clit twitch with aftershocks.
Sunghoon's chest rose and fell sharply as he leaned back, still stroking his cock at a steady rhythm, his gaze locked on you. His lips parted, his breathing uneven.
Jake's body eventually stilled, his forehead damp with sweat, his chest heaving with each breath as he looked down at your trembling frame. He pulled back slowly, letting his cock slide free from your swollen pussy. The moment he did, his cum began to spill out in a steady stream, dripping down your thighs and pooling between them.
He had never finishedย that hardย beforeโhe knew it, and from the stunned silence, so did the others. Even Heeseung's brows had furrowed at the sight, as if he couldn't believe how much you were leaking.
Your eyes fluttered half-lidded, your lashes wet with tears and sweat, your breaths shallow and uneven. Your body was heavy, limp from the storm that had wracked you, but somewhere deep inside, you found the strength to move your fingers, twitching weakly against the sheets. You weren't done. You couldn't be.ย You wanted moreโyou neededย more. Your body begged for it, trembling but eager, your pussy clenching around nothing as if calling for another cock to fill you.
You forced your eyes open again, vision blurred with sweat and tears. And thenโ
"You're into this shit again?"
That voice. Deep, familiar voice, it cut through everythingโthe ringing in your ears, the haze in your mind, the pounding of your own heart.
Your pussy clenched instantly, as if your body recognized him before your brain could, a sharp rush of need flooding through you at just the sound.
"Took you long enough, Jay," Sunghoon muttered with a crooked smile, though his hand didn't stop stroking himself.
Jake looked up too, his chest still heaving, his hand dragging across his sweaty forehead, annoyance flickering across his features. Heeseung paused mid-stroke, his gaze narrowing, his jaw flexing as his attention shifted from you to the man at the door.
And youโyour throat went dry, your lips parted, your heart slamming painfully against your ribs. Jay was here.ย Finally!
A soft, broken whine left your lips as your body shifted toward him. Jay's eyes sharpened, his expression was unreadable as he stepped fully inside, closing the door behind him. His gaze swept over the room, over Jake still breathless, Sunghoon stroking himself lazily, Heeseung looming above you, and finally, it landed on youโsweaty, trembling, your face flushed and messy, your eyes wide and glassy as they reached for him.
He didn't move immediately. He just stood there, silent, his jaw tight, demanding the others explain without him saying a word.
But Heeseung didn't give him the chance. He gripped your legs firmly, dragging you down the bed until you were flush beneath him, your body spread and waiting. Jay's eyes narrowed as he caught the sight of your hand twitching toward him, so close yet so far, the longing in your movement almost pathetic in its honesty.
Before you could call out, Heeseung pinned your arms above your head, his fingers curling around your wrists with unrelenting strength. His mouth brushed the shell of your ear, his voice low and taunting. "No more waiting. I've already held back long enough."
And then without warning, he pushed his cockย all the wayย into you in one brutal thrust.
Your scream ripped through the air, your body arching violently as he bottomed out, stretching you so suddenly you could hardly think. The slick of Jake's cum inside you made it easier, made it wetter, but it didn't stop the sharp, overwhelming sting of being filled again so completely, so roughly.
"Fuckโyes," Heeseung groaned, his forehead pressing briefly to your temple as he steadied himself, though his hips didn't slow. "Need to bury my dick inside this pussy before anyone else tries to stop me. If I wait another second, I'll lose my goddamn mind."
He began to pound into you without mercy, each thrust shaking your body, pushing you deeper into the mattress. The sound of it mixed with his growls and your cries until it was all one desperate rhythm. His pace was punishing, desperate, as if he needed to erase the traces Jake left behind, like he needed to make sure you remembered him the most.
Your eyes flickered open through the haze, and there's Jay.
He was still standing where he'd closed the door, but now his chest rose heavily. He was watching you, not Heeseung, not Jake or Sunghoon, butย youโhis gaze locked on your face, on the way your lips trembled around moans, on the way your eyes begged for him even while another man fucked you senseless.
The sight of him like thatโstoic, his stare pinning you harder than Heeseung's grip ever couldโmade your walls spasm tight around Heeseung's cock. You couldn't move forward, couldn't reach Jay the way you wanted, Heeseung's weight pinning you down just as Jake had before. It was maddening, being fucked this hard while Jay stood so close yet untouchable.
"Look at you," Heeseung groaned, his pace ruthless, his cock battering your soaked cunt. "You're dripping, squeezing me like you never want me to leave. You love itโyou fucking love it."
And he wasn't wrong.
Your mind was spiraling, torn between the brutal pleasure flooding your body and the heat of Jay's eyes locked on you.
Heeseung's hand slid up the side of your face, his fingers pressing into your cheek as he tilted your head toward him. The moment your lips brushed against his, you melted, kissing him back feverishly, moaning into his mouth as he swallowed every sound. His thrusts didn't falter, his cock dragging mercilessly against that spot inside you that had you unraveling so quickly, another orgasm barreling through your overstimulated body before you could even brace yourself. Your legs shook violently, your cries muffled by his mouth as you shattered around him again.
Jake, still hard and needy, didn't wait any longer. He stepped closer, ignoring Jay's looming silence, his cock already heavy and dripping. Sunghoon followed, stroking himself lazily, his smirk curling as he looked down at your messy face and trembling body. Heeseung adjusted his body and hold, his hand locking tightly around your waist as he slowed just enough to grind into you deliberately, rolling his hips in a way that pressed cruelly against your swollen clit and that spongy spot inside, teasing you, forcing more whimpers from your lips even as your body tried to recover.
When Jake and Sunghoon moved to either side of your head, you reacted instantly. Both your hands reached out to wrap around them, your fingers straining around their girth. A muffled moan escaped you, your eyes fluttering, as Sunghoon leaned lower, his hand sliding to your breast, kneading it roughly.
The sensation made you gasp, your lips parting, and Jake took the opportunity to rub his cock against your tongue. You sighed in bliss, your throat vibrating as you licked the tip, your saliva mixing with the sticky fluid still clinging to him from earlier. You sucked eagerly, slurping him down before switching, letting Sunghoon feel your tongue glide along the underside of his length, licking from his base to his leaking tip. All the while, Heeseung's thrusts grew sharper, pounding harder, each one jarring your body as he lost the battle with his own restraint.
"Fuck, you really wanted this, huh?" Sunghoon groaned, watching your lips wrap around him before sliding free. His hand tangled in your hair, guiding you lower, feeding himself into your mouth as his hips rolled slowly, deliberately. "Moaning with three cocks on you, and enjoying every second of it."
Your eyes watered as you let him push deeper, your throat tightening, but the messy desperation in your moans proved his words right. You pulled off with a wet gasp, kissing the head of his cock, smearing saliva across it before whispering against him.
"Love your cock... so much,"ย you breathed, your lips brushing the tip, your eyes flicking immediately past himโtoward Jay. That gnawing ache inside you swelled, and before you could stop yourself, your whine tumbled out. "Is Jay not gonna join?"
The room stilled at your words.
Jake chuckled dryly, tugging your wrist tighter around his shaft before thrusting into your hand with rough, impatient strokes. "You've got three cocks already and still not enough for you?" His voice dropped lower, his pace quickening as he fucked into your fist. "Can't even handle us together, but you're begging for more. God, you're insatiable."
Heeseung growled low in his throat, his thrusts growing faster, harsher, punishing you for even speaking Jay's name. Sunghoon hissed through his teeth as your grip on him tightened, his thumb brushing your spit-slicked lips.
"S-sorry!" you squeaked, your back arching violently as the three of them claimed every inch of your body with greedy, unrelenting hands. The sensations collided into each other, overwhelming, making it impossible to tell where one touch ended and another began.
Your skin burned under their palms, every squeeze, every slap, every tug forcing your body to twitch and your chest to heave with broken sobs of pleasure.
"Focus on us, you fucking bitch," Heeseung growled, dangerous enough to make your cunt clench so tight around him that his hips stuttered. He cursed, gripping your waist harder, his cock slamming into you with renewed force, each thrust demanding your full attention, demanding that you forget everything but him, but them.
Your eyes rolled back, your lips trembling, but you couldn't stop glancing toward Jay, couldn't stop feeling that magnetic pull toward his stare.
Jake grunted, his hand tangling roughly in your hair, yanking your head toward him as his cock brushed against your lips again. "Ignore him. You hear me? He's not the one inside you right nowโwe are. So open your fucking mouth and focus," his cockhead smearing across your tongue before pushing in, forcing your throat to stretch around him again. The taste of him mixed with the mess already dripping down your chin, and you moaned around his length, gagging slightly when he pushed deeper, his hips jerking at the sound.
Sunghoon, never content to let the others take more than him, pressed closer, his fingers pinching your nipple until you whined. "That's right. You're ours tonight, baby. All ours."
His hand slid lower, spreading you wider for Heeseung's relentless thrusts, his fingers brushing your clit in circles that made you sob.
Your words came out slurred. "Y-yours!ย All yours!ย F-fuckโI can'tโahh, I can't take itโ"
Heeseung cut you off with a growl, thrusting deeper, harder, the bed frame slamming into the wall with each movement. "Yes, you can, slut. You'll take everything I give you." Your walls clenched even tighter around him, milking his cock.
"I'm not a fucking slut!" The protest tore from your throat just as another orgasm ripped through you, your body spasming violently.
Your legs tried to slam shut against the unbearable pleasure, but Jake and Sunghoon caught them instantly,ย spreading you wider,ย keeping you open, holding you there as Heeseung continued pounding into you mercilessly. Your moan stretched high, long, broken in its desperation as tears streamed down your face.
Heeseung pulled out abruptly, your cunt fluttering around nothing, before plunging three of his fingers inside you. The sudden stretch made your entire body jolt upward, your scream breaking into sobs as he fucked his fingers into you with a brutal pace. His palm pressed hard against your clit with every thrust, his thumb flicking over the swollen bud, making your vision blur and your mind scatter.
Your body shook violently, your head thrashing from side to side, your voice rising in hysterical sobs that filled the room. "Stop! S-stop! I'm gonnaโI'm go-going to pee!ย Stop, wait!ย Please, waitโ!"
Your arms tried to push them off, tried to squirm free, but Jake and Sunghoon pinned you tighter, one hand on each wrist, one grip on each thigh, keeping you spread open for Heeseung's relentless assault.
Heeseung's eyes darkened, his jaw clenched as he kept driving into your pussy with his fingers, your slick coating his hand, dripping down his wrist, the sound of it loud and wet. His cock twitched angrily in his other hand as he stroked himself in slow pulls, groaning low in his chest. "Come on, sweetheart. Don't fight it. Let it out for us. Show us how much you need us."
Jake leaned closer, his lip caught between his teeth, his eyes fixed on the mess between your thighs. The obscene squelching filled his ears, making his cock ache again. "Fuckโlisten to her pussy. She's about toโ" His words cut off with a groan as his own hips rutted helplessly into the air.
Your high-pitched scream tore through the room as the dam inside you finally snapped.ย
A gush of hot liquid burst from your pussy, splattering over your stomach, your thighs, the sheets beneath you, drenching Heeseung's hand and face as he ducked lower,ย moaningย against the spray. The force of it made your ears ring, your vision blur, your body convulse helplessly.
It was humiliating, overwhelming, devastatinglyย good. You sobbed openly, your face slick with tears and spit, Sunghoon's cum already drying against your skin, and now your own release coating everything around you. Your body trembled uncontrollably, your legs twitching and kicking weakly until Jake and Sunghoon finally let them fall open to the side.
You curled inward, your arms wrapping protectively over your chest, your body folding small as though you could hide. But the sheets were soaked beneath you, the air heavy with the scent of sex, the room echoing with your broken cries.
"So good," Heeseung's lips parted against your soaked skin and licked at the mess you left on his face. His eyes fluttered shut, his strokes on his cock tightening, his hand gliding through the mixture of your slick and squirt.
"Get the fuck to the side. I'm going to taste it." Jake's hand already twitched toward you, greedy and impatient.
Sunghoon's laugh came rough and breathless, his chest rising and falling as he lazily stroked himself, his eyes locked on the wet ruin between your thighs. "Bro, shut the fuck up. You already had your turn. It's my turn now."
Sunghoon leaned forward, dragging his tongue over your cheek, licking at the tears that stained your skin before pressing a sloppy kiss to the corner of your mouth.
"Step aside. I'm not done yet." Heeseung shoved Sunghoon out of his way, his hand already on your thigh, forcing your legs apart with a strength that made your body jolt.
"W-waitโ" your voice broke, a weak sniffle escaping as you tried to catch your breath, your chest heaving rapidly, overstimulation already threatening to unravel you further.
The stretch of your thighs, the way Heeseung's fingers pressed into your skin, it all made you flinch with both anticipation and fear. You weren't sure if you could take more, but your body betrayed you, your cunt twitching at the thought of him filling you again.
"Dude, no fun," Sunghoon muttered, irritation coloring his tone as he wiped the back of his hand across his mouth, still tasting you there. His cock twitched in his fist, but he leaned back with a scowl.
"Three of you step back. You can't even take care of her." Jay's voice cut through the air, commanding, silencing all of them in an instant.
Your head turned instinctively toward him. The sound of his voice sent a violent shiver down your spine, your pussy clenching around nothing as though it had been waiting only for him. Your chest hitched, your lips parting on a desperate little whimper that you couldn't hold back. "J-Jay..."
Jake scoffed from the other side of the bed, wiping sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand, but the flash of annoyance in his expression didn't hide the way his chest rose faster, as if even he knew Jay's presence shifted everything. "She's fine. Don't act like you're the savior now."
Jay's gaze flicked toward him, before returning to you. He moved closer until he stood at the edge of the bed, looking down at your trembling body. "She's more than fine. She's a mess. Look at her." His jaw tightened as his eyes roamed over youโyour soaked thighs, your trembling legs, your chest that still rose and fell unevenly. His voice softened. "She's mine to take care of."
Heeseung growled low in his throat, clearly unwilling to back off, his body still hovering over you. "We've already broken her in. Don't come here acting like you own her now." His fingers dug into your thigh harder, spreading you wider as if to make his point.
Jay's expression didn't shift, though his eyes burned darker. "Then move. Or I'll make you."
You breathe heavily, looking at the both of them. And youโyour body trembled violently, torn apart by the clash of their voices, but deep down you knew what you wanted. Your lips quivered, the words slipping out before you could stop yourself. "I... I want Jay..."
The silence that followed was deafening.
Heeseung froze above you, his eyes narrowing dangerously, while Jake let out a low laugh, though the jealousy in it was sharp. Sunghoon raised an eyebrow, biting his lip as though amused but also curious to see what Jay would do.
Jay leaned closer, his hand reaching out to brush your messy hair away from your face, his touch surprisingly gentle after all the roughness you'd endured. His thumb stroked over your damp cheek, wiping at the dried tears. His gaze softened as he looked at you.
"Here I thought I was your favorite," Heeseung muttered, finally releasing the tight grip he had on your leg. Beneath the teasing, a mix of bitterness and disappointment that made your chest ache even in your haze.
Jake snorted, throwing a smirk in Heeseung's direction. "Don't flatter yourself. She probably still thinks you're her number one. She just wants another cock inside her because that's what sluts do." His words were cruel, but his retreat was obvious, stepping back from you, his chest still heaving.
Heeseung only shrugged at that, but his eyes flicked to you once more before he turned his head away.
Your lips trembled, guilt and shame mixing with the raw need still burning inside you. You tilted your head toward Jay, your voice coming out as the weakest of whispers. "D-do you want me to clean up first?" The moment the words left your mouth, your chest tightenedโafraid he might flinch, afraid he might see you the same way Jake just called you.
But Jay only smiled softly, shaking his head as though the thought was absurd. "It's alright, angel."
The simple reassurance broke something in you. Your eyes stung all over again, but before the tears could spill, his mouth was already moving lower, pressing a trail of unhurried kisses along your inner thigh. Each press of his lips lingered. By the time his lips hovered just above your swollen core, his pointed nose brushing lightly over your sensitive clit, your back had already arched off the sheets in anticipation.
You gasped softly, when his tongue finally slid against you. Hot, steady, and so focused, his tongue swirled around your folds before slipping inside you, teasing your oversensitive walls with a precision that made your breath catch in your throat. The contrast to the brutal pace you'd been enduring was staggeringโhe wasn't just eating you out,ย he was savoring you.
Your hands flew instinctively to his hair, trembling fingers tangling into his dark strands as you moaned helplessly, your chest rising and falling with every wave of sensation he drew from you. "J-Jay..." His name slipped from your lips brokenly.
He hummed against your cunt at the sound, the vibration making you twitch as his tongue moved deeper, stroking places inside you that made your toes curl. His grip on your hips tightened, holding you still when your thighs tried to clamp shut around his head from the overwhelming pleasure.
Behind him, you could feel the others watchingโHeeseung's silence heavy, Jake's low scoff, Sunghoon's quiet hum of approvalโbut all of it blurred into the background when Jay moaned against you, drinking you down.
You whimpered, tugging at his hair as your hips bucked weakly into his mouth. "S-so good... I can't, I c-can't hold itโ"
Jay pulled back just enough to glance up at you, his lips glistening with your slick, his eyes dark but soft. "Then don't. Let go for me, angel. Just me."
And with that, he dipped his head again, his tongue flicking against your clit with quick, precise strokes while his fingers slid inside you, curling expertly until you were screaming, until your body was trembling so hard you thought it might break apart.
Jay let go of your trembling body, his lips brushing once more against your temple before he finally shifted back. The bed dipped under his weight as he knelt at the edge, the leather of his belt creaking faintly as his fingers tugged at the buckle.
You knew the night had only just begun, but here in this room it already felt like you had been devoured whole, like there was no way out.
"Have you ever been fucked in the ass?" Jay's voice broke through, deceptively calm, his palm gliding down the curve of your thigh, rubbing in a slow rhythm as if coaxing you into trust.
Your lashes fluttered, your chest seizing as though his words had cut the air straight out of your lungs. "H-Huh?" Your voice cracked, eyes wide, searching his expression for some sign of softness that might match the way he'd just held you.
From your left, Jake let out a muffled laugh, the sound harsh against the fragile silence that followed your confusion.
Jay's hand didn't falter. He pressed a little higher on your thigh, the pads of his fingers stroking, teasing, until finally one circled lower, grazing a place that had never been touched this way before.
His tone was as gentle as before, almost sickeningly so. "I asked," he repeated slowly, "have you ever been fucked in your ass, angel?"
The tip of his finger brushed against your rim and you gasped, the breath caught sharp in your throat as heat and panic flared all at once. Your body jolted, betraying you. You couldn't even find the words, your head turning automatically toward the other three. Heeseung, Jake, and Sunghoonโall three watching you intently, not a single one offering you an escape.
You shook your head quickly, shame coloring your cheeks as your voice finally stumbled out. "N-No..."
Jay's lips curved into a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "On your arms and knees, then. I'll be gentle with you."
The smile was soft, but you could already feel the deception in it. You should've known by nowโJay only looked gentle when he wanted you to obey.
Your tears hadn't even dried when you felt his finger pressing more firmly at your rim, the tight, foreign intrusion making your body stiffen. The burn was immediate, sharp, a sensation your body didn't know how to handle. He twisted his finger slowly, deliberately, and the stretch made you whimper, your hands clawing desperately at the sheets.
"C-can't take it," you cried, shaking your head, your vision blurring again. Your body writhed under him, desperate for someoneโanyoneโto stop him.
"Hurts, Sunghoon. It hurts!" Your arm reached blindly for him, searching for comfort.
And Sunghoon leaned in instantly, catching your reaching hand, his lips brushing your temple in mock sympathy. "Shh," he cooed, the sound almost tender if not for the wicked edge beneath it. "I thought you were a good girl? You've been dreaming about us for so long, haven't you? This is what you wanted."
Your sobs shook your chest, but your body betrayed you againโclenching around Jay's finger, trembling from every deliberate twist.
On your other side, Heeseung moved closer, crouching low until his chest brushed against your arm. He caught your free hand and guided it toward him, pressing your palm around his cock.ย "Come on, baby. Use those hands. Don't just cry. Make yourself useful while Jay breaks you in."
Jay's finger pushed deeper, the slow stretch pulling another ragged sob from your throat. He watched you closely, his jaw tight, his cock already heavy in his hand as he stroked it lazily. His lips curved again, "relax, angel. Breathe. I'll make it hurt less if you beg me properly."
When Jay finally pulled his finger free, your body sagged in reliefโbut it was short-lived. The sharp tear of foil reached your ears, and your stomach flipped as the sound registered. You forced your head to lift, desperate to see him, but Sunghoon's hand kept you locked in place, his grip so firm on your hair that you couldn't move. He angled you down toward Heeseung's cock again, your mouth spreading open around him until you gagged.
You heard the faint snap of latex as Jay rolled the condom down his thick length, the squirt of lube slicking the air before his fist wrapped around himself, stroking with slow pumps. You tried to tilt your head to catch a glimpse, but Sunghoon tugged hard, forcing you to choke around Heeseung's cock. Your throat tightened painfully as you coughed against the intrusion.
"Hmpโ!"ย Your cry was muffled, spilling against Heeseung's cock as Jay pressed forward. The blunt head of his cock nudged against your rim, stretching you in ways you weren't prepared for.
Jay's groan vibrated through the room, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as he pushed deeper, inch by inch. His hands gripped your ass, spreading you wider, making you tremble as the burn ignited again.
Your throat was stuffed with Heeseung's cock, and every shallow thrust into your mouth came with another humiliating gulp, gulp, gulp. Each noise mingled with Jay's ragged breathing as he sank himself slowly into your ass.
By the time his cock buried itself halfway, your hands had flown to Heeseung's thighs in desperation, nails scratching down his skin as your throat tried to adjust. Heeseung hissed sharply at the sting, then abruptly pulled out, your mouth gasping for air as you coughed and sobbed.
"Bitch,"ย he spat, slapping your cheek with enough force to sting. Your head tilted from the impact, tears spilling harder as you whimpered against the mattress, your body trembling uncontrollably.
The sound of the slap cracked through the roomโand the shift in the air was instant. Jay froze, his dark eyes snapping up, his jaw tight. Slowly, he leaned over you, his chest pressing against your back, his cock still halfway inside your ass as he fixed his glare on Heeseung.
"The fuck do you think you're doing?"
"She fucking scratched meโ" Heeseung started.
Jay's glare sharpened, cutting him off. His hand curled around your hip, steadying you as he leaned closer until his lips brushed your ear, his words meant for both you and Heeseung. "Apologize. To her. Now."
Heeseung's jaw flexed, annoyance flashing in his eyes, but under Jay's burning stare, he finally muttered, "...Sorry."
You sniffled, your face pressed to the sheets, too shaken to respond. Jay's grip on your hip softened just enough for his thumb to caress you. "You okay, hmm?"
You swallowed hard, unable to find your voice, and forced yourself to nod against the sheets. Your chest rose and fell in shuddering waves, but you needed him to believe you could take it.
Jay hummed softly, almost like praise. "That's it. Breathe for me, angel. Let me in. Don't hold back." His hips pressed forward again. The intrusion stretched you open slowly, your body fighting to keep up with his size. The burn sharpened into an unbearable sting, and you screamed into the mattress, toes curling tight against the sheets as you struggled not to collapse.
Sunghoon's hand smoothed over your hair, patting your head with a tenderness, so comforting that make you whimper. "Good girl," he whispered, as though you needed his approval just to keep breathing.
Then Heeseung moved closer, his hand sliding between your thighs to press against your soaked pussy.
"Sorry, baby." His palm cupped you carefully, you flinched at first, but when he leaned in, his lips closing over your nipple, sucking hard, the sharp edge of pain dulled under a rush of pleasure. The shift made your back arch violently, the cry that tore from you high and desperate.
"Ahh!ย F-fuck!" you screamed, voice cracking, torn between pain and bliss.
Jay grunted at the way your body squeezed around him, his hand wrapping tightly around your arm to pull it back behind you like a lever. His other hand gripped your shoulder firmly, anchoring you while his hips snapped forward with force. Each thrust sent a wet smack echoing through the room, skin colliding with a punishing rhythm.
Heeseung groaned against your chest, his tongue flicking over your nipple as his fingers pressed harder into your clit, rubbing circles that sent shocks of sensation racing through your trembling body. The mixture of Jay's brutal thrusts and Heeseung's eager mouth had you thrashing.
You never thought being filled that way could drag such a storm out of you. The sting that had first made you sob now twisted into something overwhelming, a blend of fire and honey that made your body betray you with every clench. Each thrust blurred the line between pain and euphoria until you couldn't separate one from the other, only the dizzy rush that kept forcing cries from your throat.
At some point, you lost track of who was where.
You were aย dollย passed between them, shifted and handled, your body too pliant to resist, too consumed by sensation to understand the movement until it was already happening.
When Jay lifted you with an arm hooked under your ribs, carrying your trembling weight as though you were light as air, your limbs hung loose, hair falling forward like a curtain, your head lolling against his chest. The world was hazy, sound muffled except for their voices and the unrelenting rhythm of flesh against flesh.
You moaned uncontrollably, the sound spilling out of you even before Sunghoon pushed inside your swollen pussy. He didn't wait, he didn't teaseโhe slid in deep, and the stretch dragged another cry out of your throat.
Jake positioned himself over you, his hands squeezing your tits roughly, pressing them together around the length of his cock. He thrusted between them with a feral need, groaning at the slick heat as he forced you to keep your trembling arms raised so you couldn't rest, so none of them were ignored.
Your muscles screamed, the burn in your shoulders mixing with the fire between your legs. Yet the harder it became to hold on, the more your moans broke apart into helpless sobs.
"Shit!ย So fucking good!" Sunghoon moaned, usually he was silent, the one who held back while the others filled the air, but now his restraint had shattered. His moans came rough and guttural, pulled from his chest with every thrust, his expression twisting into something close to pureย bliss. Each time his hips met yours, the sound that tore from his throat was louder, rawer, until you realized he was trembling tooโlosing himself in you just as much as you were unraveling under him.
Your vision blurred at the edges, tears clinging to your lashes, the ringing in your ears drowning out everything but their voices and the wet sounds of bodies colliding. Orgasms tore through you one after another, piling so fast you couldn't separate them anymore. You were trapped in the spiral of it, begging without thought, "Y-yes, fuck,ย yesโI can't stopโI need itโplease,ย don't stop!"
Your body betrayed you completely, arching up even as you wanted to collapse. The adhesive gems clinging to your eyelids sparkled faintly under the light, miraculously still in place as your eyes rolled back, your tongue slipping free from your mouth with no strength left to hold it in. You were a mess, unrecognizable even to yourself, but they devoured every second of it.
Jake groaned low in his chest as his cock pulsed, spilling over your tits, hot ropes covering your skin until you were painted in him. He slapped your chest once more, watching it smear across your breasts before stumbling back, his body giving out as he dropped onto the mattress, panting heavily, drained but satisfied.
The moment you were freed from him, your lips were claimed again. Heeseung and Jay's mouths fought for space against yours, kissing you with different kinds of urgencyโJay deep and consuming, Heeseung sharp and demanding. Their lips pulled moans out of you you didn't even know you had left, your eyes shut tight as your mouth parted helplessly between them.
Meanwhile, Sunghoon's cock dragged deeper inside you, angling until it brushed that spot that made your whole body spasm. The rhythm of his thrusts grew steadier, more desperate, his hips slamming into you with a pace that made your chest heave and your breath hitch against the mouths kissing yours. He was unrelenting, he couldn't stop himself, your body had unlocked something in him he never wanted to let go of.
Sunghoon's control shattered first. His jaw clenched, veins standing out along his neck as he pushed deeper, his movements rough and unsteady, every thrust dragging a desperate sound from him. His eyes squeezed shut and his head tilted back, a moan ripping from his throat as his stomach tightened, the pleasure consuming him faster than he could handle. He bit down on his lip, but it wasn't enough to stifle the way his body shook while his cock throbbed violently inside you.
You felt the hot flood of his release filling you inย long,ย uncontrollableย spurts. It spread thick through your core, making your walls clench tighter as though your body wanted to keep him there, to hold every drop.
The sensation was so overwhelming that your back arched high into Jay's chest. He caught you easily, his large hand spreading over your breast and kneading. His lips swallowed your broken moans, his tongue sliding deep until you whimpered against him, unable to keep up.
Your hips jerked when Sunghoon finally spilled the last of his release, the force of it pushing some of his cum to seep out around his cock. He slumped forward, chest heaving, but his grip on your waist betrayed his reluctance to leave you. He wanted to stay buried, to keep claiming youโbut his body gave out, and with a low groan he pulled free, his length glistening as it slid from your swollen cunt.
The loss of him left you trembling, and before you could even breathe, Heeseung was already there. His hand slid between your thighs, fingers parting your slick folds without hesitation. He rubbed over your swollen clit in tight circles, faster, sharper, and your lips tore away from Jay's kiss to scream, your cry echoing through the room as a new wave of sensation tore through you.
Sunghoon's cum was still dripping from your pussy when Heeseung's fingers slapped against your sensitive clit. The sharp sting made your hips spasm, jerking upward uncontrollably, the sound of the wet slap filling the room. Your thighs shook, but Jay's hand on your chest kept you pressed firmly against him, forcing you to take it all.
"So fucking hot," Jay groaned against your skin, his teeth grazing your neck before biting down just enough to leave a mark. He soothed the bite with his tongue before sucking at the spot, leaving his claim branded into your skin while you cried softly beneath him.
"Come on," Heeseung coaxed. He gave your clit another sharp slap that made you gasp, your entire body twitching. "Breathe. Deep. You've still got two cocks waiting for you."
Your body was trembling, the exhaustion in your muscles fighting against the need clawing through your veins. Every part of you screamed for a pause, a moment of stillness, but your lips betrayed you, spilling soft, broken words into the heated air.
"...cock... want more..." you whispered, not even sure if you meant to say it out loud, but the second it left your mouth, they moved.
They shifted you onto Heeseung first, his broad chest rising under your palms as he positioned himself at your entrance. Your thighs burned as you straddled him, but you couldn't stop yourself from lowering down, grinding until his thick tip slid past your folds, the friction making your entire body quiver.
Heeseung's eyes darkened immediately, his hands gripping your waist as he guided you, feeling the way your heat stretched around him.
Jay stood behind you, his movements methodical as he tore open another condom with his teeth. He rolled the latex down over his length with one hand, the other already spreading over your lower back, holding you steady. His touch was careful, deceptively gentle, even as you felt the blunt press of his cock teasing your other entrance.
The stretch made you scream, your head snapping back to his shoulder as his cock slowly pushed inside your ass. Your tits arched forward, bouncing in Heeseung's face, and he groaned like he was seeing heaven itself, his mouth immediately latching onto one nipple. His tongue flicked hard before he began sucking greedily, moaning against your skin, drowning himself in the taste of you might keep him from unraveling completely.
He told himself not to get attached, not to think beyond the raw act of it but as he looked up, catching the sight of your face twisted with both pain and euphoria, your lashes damp with tears, your lips parted, your flushed cheeks glowing, he was gone.ย So fucking pretty,ย too pretty for this. His chest tightened, his teeth sinking into his lip, half-lidded eyes watching you lose yourself while he thrust up into you.
"Ahhโfuck! S-so good!ย Feels so good!"ย you sobbed, your voice breaking as both of them found their rhythm inside you.
Jay's arm slid tighter around your middle, pulling you back against him, while his other hand anchored hard on your shoulder.
Each drive of his hips made your body lurch forward, and every time he withdrew, Heeseung thrust upward to meet you, their cocks colliding through the thin barrier inside you. The pressure was relentless, unbearable yetย addicting. You felt soย full, so completely wrecked, yet you didn't want them to stop.
Your head fell back against Jay's shoulder, your throat exposed, your lips trembling as the sounds poured out of you unrestrained. His gaze locked onto you, never wavering, watching every twitch of your brows, every flutter of your lashes, every blissful break in your voice.
His stomach coiled tight when he saw you smile through your moans, blissful grin that said you were floating in a haze beyond reason.
And thenโwhen you let out aย delirious laugh, drunk on cock and pleasureโboth he and Heeseung nearly lost control.
"Shit... fuck, look at her," Heeseung moaned against your chest, thrusts erratic as your pussy clenched harder, milking him. His thumb found your clit again, circling with ruthless precision, making your hips twitch violently in their hold.
"Fuckingย cockdrunk," Jake muttered from the side, his voice strained, his hand already wrapped tight around his cock as he stroked himself, eyes devouring the sight of you stuffed full between Jay and Heeseung.
"Unbelievable..." Sunghoon hissed, though his body betrayed his words as his cock hardened again at the sight. His chest rose sharply, his jaw tightening as his eyes burned into you, unable to look away.
And youโyou wereย flying. Your entire body trembled, sweat dripping down your back, every nerve set alight as two cocks pounded into you in perfect rhythm, stretching you in ways you never thought you could handle. You weren't just moaning anymoreโyou were laughing, delirious, euphoric, becauseย nothingย hadย ever felt this good. The world outside didn't exist. There was only this. Only them. Only the way your body sang under their hands, under their cocks.
You were living your best fucking life, and in that moment, you knew you never wanted it to end.
"ShitโI'm gonna cum," Heeseung groaned, his head falling back against the pillow as his thrusts grew uneven. You couldn't help yourself, couldn't stop your body from pushing back onto his cock, greedy for every last inch.
"Need itโplease, I need you to cum inside meโdon't hold back," you moaned.
Jay tightened his bicep around your throat, dragging you flush against him as his lips pressed against your temple. "Take it, angel. Take all of him."
The heat in your chest exploded when Heeseung moaned loud and emptied inside you. The sound of his voice made your heart lurch even as your own orgasm tore through you again. Your walls clenched so violently that his cock twitched helplessly, spilling thicker and thicker ropes of cum until you could feel the weight of it stretching your stomach. The mess spilled from the corners of your folds, warm streams dripping down your thighs.
But before the haze could settle, Jay's voice cut through. "Pull out, Heeseung. It's my turnโI want to cum in her too." His arm around your throat tightened, pulling you higher onto him, your back arching as his cock slid free from your ass, still painfully hard.
Heeseung hesitated, his chest heaving, his eyes narrowing like he didn't want to let go of the heat he'd buried himself in. He gave a sharp exhale of frustration but finally withdrew, his cock wet and shining as he let you slip from him.
Jay didn't waste a second. He yanked off the condom, tossing it carelessly aside, then pushed his length inside your pussy still dripping with Heeseung's load. The stretch burned, but the mix of fluids made him slide in effortlessly, and the sensation had your toes curling instantly.
"Fuckโfuck, she's so wet," Jay groaned, his forehead pressing against the side of your head. His pace was punishing, his hips snapping against your ass as his hand gripped your hip to anchor himself.
"Can't hold itโgonna fill youโ"
The moment he buried himself deep, his body stiffened, and he spilled hot inside you. His growl vibrated against your ear, the sound of his release mixing with your own helpless moans. You could feel it, the pulse of his cock as he filled you so completely that the mix of him and Heeseung spilled back out, dripping into a sticky mess beneath you.
It took a long moment before they both released you, your body sagging limp between them. You barely had the strength to move when Jake stepped forward, his hand already pumping his length with urgency, his eyes locked on your face. Sunghoon moved with him, their cocks standing tall, both of them crowding your view as you were laid down on your back.
"Open up, baby," Jake ordered.
Your lips parted, tongue falling out on instinct, the salty taste of precum already smearing across it as they fisted themselves harder. Their groans overlapped as thick spurts painted your cheeks, your forehead, your lips, dripping down your neck and into your hair. You swallowed what you could, eyes rolling back at the sheer dirtiness of it, your chest rising and falling rapidly with each ragged breath.
You stared blankly at the ceiling, vision hazy, ears ringing so loud it felt like you were underwater. Your head was spinning, the room tilting, but your body was already being turned again.
Your limbs flopped uselessly as Jake forced his cock back to hardness, guiding himself to your ass, while Heeseung gripped your legs wide, holding you open as though your exhaustion didn't matter.
One by one, they took their turns again, each of them sliding into your abused body, spilling more inside until it felt like there wasn't any part of you left untouched. Your mind was gone, floating somewhere else, your mouth hanging open without sound, and still, they didn't stop.
The last thing you remembered was Sunghoon's icy hands spreading your folds, his voice low with awe as he stared at the mess dripping from your swollen used pussyโthick white streams still spurting.
And then you passed out, swallowed by the overwhelming haze of pleasure and exhaustion, your body twitching even in unconsciousness, your mind lost in the aftershocks of everything they had done.
You woke with a body that felt heavier than stone, every inch aching. The room was quiet except for the soft snores surrounding you.
You shivered, realizing the air was cold against your damp hair and clammy skin, only to notice the weight of arms draped over youโtwo different hands anchoring you in place. One was around your waist, pulling you back into a solid chest, the other rested lazily on your hip.
You blinked hard, trying to gather yourself, and only then did you notice you were clothed, though barely. Someone had slipped a shirt over you, but it was hiked up high, baring most of your thighs. Heart pounding, you tilted your head, your breath catching when you saw Jay's face so close to yours. His features were peaceful, his brows relaxed, lips parted just slightly as a soft groan escaped him. Even in sleep, he pulled you tighter into his chest.
"What the fuck..." you whispered under your breath, pulse racing as heat rushed to your cheeks.
Your gaze dropped lower and froze. Sunghoon's head rested against your chest, lips slack and still attached to your nipple. His hand was curled around your waist too, fingers twitching. The memory of his face twisted in pleasure, his voice breaking with moans, hit you so hard that your thighs clenched instinctively.
You stifled a sound, your whole face burning.
Carefully, with your fingers trembling, you began to pry their hands off one by one, moving Jay's arm and slipping Sunghoon's hand back over his own body. It felt like sneaking out of something you weren't supposed to survive. But before you could breathe in relief, your eyes darted downwardโand you almost screamed.
At the foot of the bed, sprawled across like he owned the space, was Jake. His cheek was pressed into the mattress, lips parted as he breathed heavily, his bare chest rising and falling. He looked so soft like this, so far from the rough, taunting voice that had wrecked you just hours ago.
Your stomach flipped.
"What the hell..." you whispered again, a little louder this time, biting your lip as panic swirled in your chest. You couldn't stay here. Not with the memories flashing in your head.
Ignoring the deep ache in your thighs and the heaviness weighing down your limbs, you tiptoed around them, snatching your heels and dress from the table. The sound of the zipper sliding into place echoed too loudly in your ears as you tried to dress as quietly as possible.
When you finally slipped out and pulled the door shut behind you, you pressed your back against it, exhaling sharply. Relief barely lasted a second before you froze again.
Someone was sitting in the living room.
Heeseung was perched on the couch, phone in hand, his tall frame hunched slightly forward. The glow of the screen lit his sharp features, but the second the door clicked shut, his head snapped up. His eyes widened as if he hadn't expected you to actually walk out. In a blur, he was standing, pocketing his phone.
"Hey," his voice came out softer than you remembered.
Your whole body stiffened, eyes wide, your pulse hammering in your throat. The room was quiet but the weight of his presence filled it, and you could feel your heart fluttering in panicโor maybe dangerously close to longing.
"It's just five-thirty," he said, glancing briefly at the window where the faintest gray of dawn was creeping in. "We finished at four. Are you... already leaving?"
Your throat was dry.ย Fuck. He was talking toย you. Just standing there, bare-faced and raw from the night before, his voice carrying none of the arrogance it once did. You wanted to respond, but your mouth betrayed you, stuck in silence. You could only stare at him, your gaze trembling before you forced it away, too shy, too ashamed, too overwhelmed.
Heeseung shifted his weight, his Adam's apple bobbing as though he was working up the nerve. Then, in a tone that was almost uncertain, he asked, "Were we too rough?"
You blinked up at him, startled.
"I..." you started, but the words stuck.
His jaw tightened, eyes flickering before he let out a low sigh. He rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous gesture that didn't fit the man who had held you down hours earlier. His voice dropped lower, rough with regret. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to slap you like that. I just... I got carried away."
The sincerity in his tone, the way his eyes searched yours like he needed you to believe him, made your chest ache. You didn't trust yourself to speak, your throat felt raw, so you simply nodded, awkward and small, hoping it was enough.
He was fumbling, caught off guard by the weight of his own thoughts. For the first time, he seemed unsure.
Heeseung had always respected the girls they brought into this kind of mess, but responsibility was something he usually left to Jay, who carried gentleness. Yet with you, the urge was different. It was tugging at him in a way he couldn't ignore, and it unsettled him more than he'd ever admit.
His tongue darted over his lips, his brows knitting together as he shifted closer, still cautious of your fragile state. "Do you... want to leave? IโuhโI can get my car, or call someone, orโwait." He cut himself off, unsure what offer would make sense, what you even needed from him right now.
You shook your head quickly, your hands clinging to your heels. Your voice came out almost too small to hear, but you forced the words past your lips. "T-thank you. I-I can manage myself. Th-thank you... so much."
It was rushed, shaky, like you needed to get it out before your voice betrayed the truth of how fragile you felt. Without waiting for his response, you turned away, your bare feet carrying you in tiny, stumbling steps toward the door. Each step hurt, your body reminding you of everything from last night, but you pressed forward anyway, desperate to escape the heaviness in the room.
"Waitโwhat's yourโ" Heeseung started, his hand twitching forward as if he could reach you. But the words fell flat, caught in his throat, and he stopped himself before finishing. His lips pressed together in frustration, a quiet curse slipping under his breath. His eyes followed the curve of your back, the fragile sway of your shoulders, the sound of your unsteady footsteps echoing.
"...number."
The word left him softer than a whisper, too late, almost swallowed by the empty space you left behind.
He stood there for a long moment, staring at the door you'd just disappeared through, torn between running after you and letting you go. His jaw clenched, his hand raking through his hair as he sank back down onto the couch.
He couldn't shake the image of youโthe way your eyes had rolled back in bliss, the way you had laughed in the middle of it all, the way you looked at him now as if you wanted to disappear.
And Heeseung felt a kind of defeat that left his chest heavy. First, he was pissed that Jay, of all people, had managed to pull your attention more than once that night. Second, he hadn't even gotten the chance to really enjoy you the way he wanted, not fully, not the way that would have been enough. And thirdโworst of allโhe didn't even know your full name, or what department you were in, or anything beyond that single night where you'd let yourself unravel in his arms and under his hands.
"Fuck..." he muttered under his breath, dragging a hand over his face, frustrated at the gnawing ache in his chest. You were too pretty, too delicate, tooย intoxicating, and it infuriated him that Sunghoon and Jake had gotten their way with you first, splitting you open before he ever had the chance to claim you for himself. The thought of them having your "first" and sharing you so easily left a bitter taste in his mouth. He wanted you whole, wanted you alone, wanted more than the scraps of a night shared with three others.
Heeseung realized this wasn't just another nameless, faceless memory to throw away. He didn't want this to be the last time. He wanted more of youโyour laugh, your trembling voice, your warmth pressed against him. The only thing he had left was the trace of your scent, still lingering faintly on his skin and in the air, that floral sweetness that he couldn't shake no matter how many showers he took.ย It drove him mad.
"Hey, I tried your perfume and it doesn't smell nearly as nice on me as it does on you."ย
Your classmate pouted, watching you rub lotion into your arms after swim class. Her tone was playful, but her eyes lingered longer than usual, narrowing slightly at the fading bruises that scattered along your thighs.
"โWait, are you okay? What's with all these marks?" she asked, her voice shifting, curious but edged with concern as her gaze dropped to your legs, then caught on your wrist where faint discoloration still traced your skin.
You forced a small smile, your hands moving carefully as though the weight of her stare could dig deeper into your body. "Anemia," you said lightly. "You know how it gets sometimes."
She frowned, unconvinced, but didn't press further. You focused on squeezing another bit of lotion into your palm, your thoughts drifting elsewhere. The bottle was nearly empty, and you hesitated for a moment, wondering if you should buy another or try something different.
It had been two weeks. Two weeks since your body had been pushed to its limit, since you had let yourself fall apart in the arms, mouths, and cocks of four men who you never should have gotten tangled with.
As much as it thrilled you to remember, you knew it wasn't something you could ever share. Not with your classmates, not with anyone. This was yoursย alone.
And so, you smiled at your friend, pretending everything was normal, while inside, you cherished the memory of a night you swore you'd never tell.
You tied your damp hair back, the strands clinging to your neck as you tugged on a sweatshirt and shorts. A light mist of perfume lingered as you sprayed your wrists, your throat, the curve of your shoulder, even down your spine as though you could drown yourself in that sweet comfort.
"God, you smell so good again," your friend whined, fanning herself dramatically. You only chuckled and brushed her off, slipping your bag onto your shoulder before following the group.
The conversation turned quickly, as it always seemed to these days.
"How come those fuckboys keep throwing parties and we never hear a word after? It's like magic," one girl scoffed, and the others broke into agreement, voices overlapping with laughter.
"Right? I swear they must be fucking someone every time," another chimed in, clapping her hands for emphasis. "No way they're just drinking. But no one ever talks. Likeโever."
Their voices carried ahead of you while you trailed behind, smiling faintly, shaking your head as if their words were just another baseless rumor. Inside, though, your chest tightened. If only they knew. If only they could imagine half of what had happened that night. But you weren't about to let them. You had no intention of ever telling a single soul.
That night was a secret carved into you, and the four of them had reputations built on silenceโno communication, no strings, no trace.
You sighed, crouching down to fix your shoelace, the chatter of your classmates fading as they moved further down the hall. One of them called your name over their shoulder, urging you to hurry, but before you could respond, the sound of measured steps came closer. A shadow cut across the floor in front of you.
You froze.
Slowly, your gaze lifted from the shoes planted right in front of you. And your heart stopped.
"Found you,"ย a low voice drawled, threaded with satisfaction, almost a taunt.
Gasps erupted behind you, your classmates halting in their tracks.
Your eyes widened.ย Heeseungย was really there, standing over you in broad daylight, surrounded by people, breaking his own rules without hesitation. You couldn't move, couldn't breathe.
Then, without warning, he crouched down in front of you. The tall, untouchable Heeseungโthe one who ignored every girl who chased after him, who made it clear he wanted nothing to do with messy attentionโwas kneeling, his long fingers brushing over your loose shoelace.
"I had a hard time finding you," he muttered, not loud enough for anyone but you to hear. His tone was casual, but his jaw was tight, his movements sharp with frustration as he tied the knot in one clean motion. "It really pissed me off, you know?"
Your throat went dry. Heat crawled up your neck, spreading across your face until you felt the tips of your ears burn.
Why?ย Why was he here? Why was he talking toย you? This wasn't the Heeseung everyone else knew. He never lowered himself like thisโnot in front of everyone, not where people could see. He shut girls down without a glance, his cold indifference the very thing that made them chase harder. Yet here he was, focused on you with an intensity that made your stomach twist.
Around you, your classmates whispered furiously, unable to hide their shock. Some covered their mouths, others exchanged wide-eyed looks, but no one dared step closer.
"Can we talk?" His voice was steady, but softer than you expected, almost coaxing.
When you finally dared to look at him, his eyes caught yours. They weren't the eyes of the cold, untouchable Heeseung everyone claimed to know. No, they were gentle, wide, almost disarming, like he was looking through you and not just at you. He smiledโsmall, sweet, almost shyโand your lips trembled against the sudden wave of nerves.
"H-Huh?" Your voice cracked embarrassingly.
Before you could gather yourself, he reached forward and plucked your bag from your shoulder. His hand found yours in the same motion, his long fingers curling around your palm. The contact made your knees weaken, a sharp rush of heat flooding your chest.
Heeseung was holding your hand. Heeseung, who never even let girls close enough to breathe the same air without brushing them off, was lacing his fingers with yours in front of everyone!
"Let's get out of here first, hmm?" His tone carried a teasing lilt, but his grip on your hand was firm.
You could hardly process as he tugged you gently in the opposite direction, away from your frozen classmates whose whispers grew louder. Each step with him felt surreal, like walking straight into a dream you weren't ready for but couldn't pull away from.
Then, as if to seal the knot of heaviness swirling in your chest, his head tilted close, his breath warm against your ear.
This was something entirely out of world experience for me ngl. I felt so many emotions, mostly second hand embarrassment/shyness (for myself). I had to pause every two paragraphs to let the words sink in like....dayummmm miss author what are you ? How does your brain work that way ? I'm genuinely so amazed. Umm how do I explain it.. it's like when I read this, I didn't feel disgusted even once or any negative feelings. I was just perplexed and the morning after scene and then the following scenes until last, it made up for every thought I had. (I hope, my words are getting through you.
I liked how Heeseung apologised, Heeseung became what he was supposed to be (in my mind, in this fic.) And then at last when he came to find her, tying her shoelace, taking her bag, being so soft spoken. I was on cloud nine โจ๐๐๐ซถ๐ป.
Well.. I just wanted to say, I really enjoyed this. I liked that it was Hee who went after her.. (though I expected it to be either Heeseung or Sunghoon).
And I have read almost all your work and I LOVE IT !! โกโ (โ >โ ย โ เจโ ย โ <โ )โ โก You are very talented and your way of writing is immaculate.
Money, sex, and a lifetime of feeling like luck was never really on your sideโuntil the universe decided to fuck with you in the most inconvenient way possible. What started as simple coexisting turned into something more when you paid a little too much attention to your quiet, awkward, painfully responsible roommateโwho, on paper, is a complete fucking loser. But, hey, heโs not that bad!
In which Sim Jaeyun becomes the only genuinely good, unfairly lucky thing thatโs ever happened to youโฆ and just like everything else in your life, good things have a way of slipping right through your fingers. So now you have to figure it out, fix it, or risk losing the only thing that ever felt right before you run Out of Luck.
2: FORTUNE'S FAVOR
content tags and warnings: roommate au! romantic comedy, jake is an engineering student x volleyball varsity player reader, light angst, angst and fluff and fluff and a happy ending! complicated feelings, mentions of SUPERTITIOUS BELIEFS, tarot reading, luck, fate etc! 10k wc of reader avoiding jake and the rest will be jake 's pov (he yap and yap), mentions of social anxiety and self harm, jake is such an awkward introverted baby he needs a hug i swear, jake is yearning :(, embarassment, 2nd hand embarassment, public confession, awkward erm moments, jake is secretly a simp and he's pathetic, slice of life, kissing hehe. ft. heeseung as jake's best supportive friend, 02z as jake's hs friend, kazuha as jake's ex gf, karina, ryujin, other kpop idol as reader's volleyball team, robots and fish as side characters. mild smut: masturbation, still MDNI! (WC:34.6K)
Fateย is a power believed to predetermine events, some unavoidable bullshit that people love to hold onto when things go wrong. A little explanation so they don't have to admit that sometimes things just fall apart because people make stupid choices, or because shit just happens for no good reason at all.
And right now? You think fate is complete fucking nonsense.
If fate was real, then maybe you wouldn't have been dumb enough to let things spiral the way they did. Maybe you would've stopped yourself before crossing the line.
Maybe ifย people weren't idiots,ย if they just paid attention for one goddamn second, things wouldn't end up worse than they needed to be. Like,ย for exampleโif someone didn't decide to throw a basketball straight to your fucking face like they had zero brain cells to work with.
Geez. Fate. Luck. Doom. What kind of bullshit logic even ties those things together? The more you think about it, the more it just pisses you off. People are so fucking dumb sometimes, acting like everything is written in the stars when half of it is just bad decisions stacked on top of each other.
"Hehe... I'm so sorry."
You glance at Karina from where you're sitting on the bench, an ice pack pressed against your already bruised nose, your face still sore from everything that's happened over the past few days. Her hand hovers mid-air, like she wants to check on you but isn't sure if you'll snap at her or brush her off.
She just got back from Japan and of course, Ryujin had already filled her in. Not just about how, three days into recovery of your accident, some dumbass from the basketball team managed to add another bruise to your already fucked-up nose during practice like it was some kind of sick joke.
But also that you got your heart broken.ย Well. You didn't want to tell her. You didn't want to tell anyone, if you were being honest. Saying it out loud makes it real in a way that just thinking about it doesn't. It turns it into something people can react to, something they can pity, something they can talk about. And you're not in the mood for that shit.
So you just exhale slowly, leaning back a bit, eyes drifting away from her. "It's fine," you mutter. Karina doesn't look convinced. She's not stupid. But for once, she doesn't push immediately. Thankfully.
She lowers her hand slowly, sitting down beside you, her shoulder brushing lightly against yours and you know exactly what she's trying to doโcomfort, soften the edges, make it easier for you to crack open and talk. But you don't. You just let out a quiet sigh, leaning back slightly as if nothing about this is affecting you. You let her stay there because it's easier than pushing her away and dealing with the questions that would follow. You've always been good at this anywayโpretending. Acting like you're fine.
And weeks pass like that. Quietly. You make it a pointโno, a fucking missionโthat you and thatย man-who-shouldn't-be-namedย never cross paths.
You adjust your schedule, leaving earlier, coming home later, avoiding the living room at certain hours, listening for any sign that he's around before stepping out of your room. It's exhausting, honestly, but you do it anyway because the alternativeโseeing him, talking to him, pretending like nothing happened or worse, acknowledging itโfeels ten times worse.
You even considered moving out at one point, scrolling through listings late at night, checking dorm prices, calculating your budget over and over again like maybe the numbers would magically change.
They didn't.
Becauseย you're broke.ย Like, actually fucking broke. Rent is insane, dorms are worse, and on top of that, your training for regionals has been eating up your time and energy like crazy. Your appetite has doubledโno,ย tripledโand now you can't go a day without stuffing yourself full or you start feeling like shit. And all your money?ย Gone. Straight into food. Food, food, and more fuckingย food.
You click your tongue in annoyance just thinking about it, dragging a hand down your face.ย Fuck this.ย Why did that man even cook for you so much before? Why did he set that stupid standard? Now your body's used to actual meals, and you can't even go back to your old habits without feeling like you're dying. It's irritating. It's inconvenient.ย It'sโย NO. You cut the thought off before it goes somewhere else.
You swore you wouldn't like anyone anymore. That shit is done. Over!ย Finished!
And honestly? All those stupid things people made you believe in? Complete bullshit. The grapes you ate during New Year's for luck? Fucking scam. The bracelet they made you wear in February because it's supposed to bring love or whatever the hell? Garbage. You should've thrown it away the moment you got it. And that horoscope reading? "2026 will be your year"โyeah, right. Biggest scam of them all!
"I miss you, please don't be angry at me!"
Karina wraps herself around you from behind, her arms locking tight around your shoulders. The impact makes you jolt forward slightly, your whole body stiffening as irritation immediately flashes across your face. You try to pry her off, fingers digging into her forearms.
"What's with you? I'm not angry, the hell?" you scoff, twisting your shoulder and swatting at her arm, but it does nothing. If anything, she tightens her hold, pressing her cheek against yours.
"I know you would say that," she whines, dragging every word out dramatically, completely unfazed by your resistance. Her voice softens just a little as she nuzzles closer. "But there's some kind of tension you have with me. I can feel it. I promise I'm not gonna push you with some other guy again, just talk to meeee."
"Karina!" you snap. You twist harder this time, trying to break free, your voice rising with both annoyance and disbelief. "I amย notย angry, what theโ?!"
But she doesn't let go. "Really?" she shoots back immediately, her tone shifting to show she's not buying your shit. Her arms stay locked around you as she leans her chin on your shoulder, peeking at your face. "Then why won't you talk to me?"
"I'm not talking to anyone because I'm broken-hearted!" you fire back with sarcasm. You stop struggling for a second, your hands dropping uselessly to her arms as you huff out a breath. "Of course it's normal to be this way! You're the one who pushed me, remember?"
"Huhuhu, I'm so sorry!" Karina immediately wails, completely switching gears as she stomps her foot against the ground while still hugging you. The movement jostles both of you, but she doesn't loosen her grip. "Promise, I'll help you get over him. God, I hate him!" Her voice sharpens, her real irritation slipping through. "Do you want me to sabotage his project?! I heard his club is organizing some event with Architecture. Just say it. I'll definitely do it!"
You finally manage to grab her wrists and yank her arms off you, turning around to face her fully with a look that screamsย what the fuck is wrong with you. "Noโwhat the fuck?" you snap, staring at her like she just suggested arson instead of whatever the hell that was. You roll your eyes, dragging a hand through your hair as you try to calm yourself again. "I just want to focus on Regionals. Just... don't mention him anymore." Your voice drops a little. "It's better to move on when I don't have updates or news."
Karina watches you for a second, her expression softening as she processes that, then she nods slowly. "Soooo... are we good?" she asks, immediately looping her arm around yours again.
You click your tongue, glancing at her from the corner of your eye. "Of course we are always good. What's with you?"
"You sure?" she presses, squinting at you like she's trying to catch you slipping.
"Yes."
"Then I have a gift for ya!" Her mood flips instantly again, energy shooting back up as she lets go and starts digging through one of her paper bags.
You watch her with mild suspicion, arms crossing over your chest as you waitโand then your expression completely breaks when she pulls out a clear plastic bag filled with water... and a tiny fish swimming inside.
"What theโ"
"My guppy gave birth and I don't have a tanks anymore!" she beams proudly, holding it up like it's the best gift in the world. The fish wiggles inside the bag. "Take this as a gift for ya. It will help you clear your mind!"
"No. What the fuck?!" you hiss immediately, recoiling slightly. Your brows knit together in pure disbelief, staring at the tiny creature. "Karina, I'm not taking responsibility for a living thing right nowโare you insane?!"
But she just grins wider, already trying to shove the bag toward you anyway.
And that was how you ended up bringing a fish
You are absolutely, undeniably,ย one hundred percentย going to fucking kill Karina.
You stand in the middle of the kitchen, one hand gripping the plastic bag with a tiny fish inside, while your phone is awkwardly wedged between your shoulder and your ear. You open cabinets with your free hand, shoving things aside in search ofย anythingย that could pass as a container. It's 3:00 in the fucking afternoon, the heat pressing down on you like you are in hell, sweat already forming at the back of your neck. The aircon hums uselessly somewhere behind you, doing absolutely nothing. Why the hell is it not cooling? Is it broken? Did someone mess with it? Didย heโ NO.
"The fuck?!" you snap out loud when the call suddenly drops, the silence hitting immediately after Karina's last wordsโcalm down, guppy don't need oxygenโโbefore cutting off completely. You pull the phone away, glaring at the screen. No signal nor an Internet.
Of course! Jake is the one assigned to the internet payment. You remember clearlyโyou left the damn money on the center table days ago where he couldn't miss it. And now this? No connection, no help, no fucking instructions on how to keep this tiny living thing alive.
"God! The worst roommate ever!" you mutter under your breath, shoving your phone onto the counter with more force than necessary. Worst roommate! Worst fucking roommage! Not paying that damn internet, overheating the air conditioner since he was the one who is staying so damn long in the living room, rejecting your feelingsโ Hold on. Stop.ย Moving on remember?
You exhale sharply, like you're physically pushing the thought out of your system, and look back down at the plastic bag in your hands. The tiny fish wiggles inside, completely unbothered by your internal crisis, its small body flicking through the water.
"How am I supposed to know how to build your environment?!" you hiss at it. You let out a long breath, shoulders dropping slightly. "Okay... okay..." you mutter to yourself, trying to calm the fuck down.ย It's just a fish.ย A tiny, stupid fish. People take care of these things all the time. You can't beย thatย incompetent.
You finally grab a glass jar from the cabinet, a clean one, at least, and set it down on the counter. It's not ideal, probably, but it's better than leaving it in a plastic bag forever like some kind of moving takeout.
Your eyes wander, and they land on that stupid little robot sitting lifelessly on the edge of the table. An idea sparks,ย ask Bumble for help!ย Of course! Jake's little tech toy could totallyโwell, theoreticallyโmake this easier. You lean down, plastic bag in one hand, glass jar in the other, carefully lowering the fish into the water. The liquid sloshes around, tiny ripples forming, and the fish flicks its tail nervously.
Your fingers hover over the robot, hesitating a moment because the thing looks impossibly flat and dumb, and yet... Jake had somehow made it work before.ย How?ย How the fuck did he do that?
"Bumble, open," you command. The robot doesn't move. Not a single servo whir, not even a twitch. You frown, crouching lower to get a better look at it, poking at the flat surface with your fingertip.ย Nothing. You blink at it, confusion mixing with irritation as the anger starts to simmer back up again, fueled by the memory of that stupid, infuriating boy who made it work so effortlessly. His stupid braces flashing whenever he smiled, that crooked, perfect grin, his stupid, clueless, nerdy self who somehow made everything look so easy.ย Stupid boy.
You can't help it. You shake the robot lightly, as if your rage can transfer through it, make it activate, make it do something other than sit there mocking you.
"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" you hiss under your breath, frustration bubbling past the point of reason.
You can almost feel the heat of your blood rising in your cheeks, your heart hammering faster than it should over a stupid fish and a stupid robot. And yet, beneath all that โwhy are you this bitter?ย NoOOo! It's valid! He's a fucking idiot. That robot is a fucking idiot. And yetโand yetโyou can't stop thinking about him, about the way he made you laugh, the way he made you feel, the way he lingered in your thoughts like a permanent ghost.
"Stupid, useless robot," you mutter under your breath, your grip tightening around Bumble. You shake it again. "Why the fuck won't you open? What, are you trying to act like your owner too? Just shut down and ignore people?"
The sudden creak of the door makes your whole body jolt. You stiffen instantly, your heart jumping straight to your throat as your head snaps toward the entrance. Jake was frozen in place, just a few steps inside, like he didn't expect to see you either. His hand is still on the doorknob, the other clutching his bag loosely. His eyes flickerโfirst to Bumble in your hands, then to the jar on the counter with the fish awkwardly floating inside, then finally to you. And when his gaze settles on your face, itย stays.
You see it happen in real timeโtheย shift. His eyes widen, and it pisses you off. He takes in the fading bruises along your cheek, the slight discoloration near your nose, the healing cut on your chin with its visible stitch. His brows knit together, concern flashing across his face so quickly it almost looks painful, like he doesn't know what to do with it. "W-What happened?" he asks, voice stumbling over itself as his hand lifts halfway, like reaching toward your face before stopping mid-air.
Thatโthat right thereโmakes your chest twist wrong.
You straighten up immediately, forcing your expression to do it's own neutral controlled thing, dropping Bumble back. You avoid his eyes like they burn, turning your attention back to the fish. Geez.ย Twoย fuckingย weeks. Two weeks of silence, of avoidance, of pretending he didn't existโand now he wants to ask questions like he still has the right? Like nothing happened?
"When are you planning to pay for the Wi-Fi?" you cut in flatly. You keep your back partially turned to him, fiddling with the jar, adjusting the plastic inside even though it's already fine. "I already left the payment."
There's a pause behind you. You can even feel it without even looking โ the hesitation, the shift in his breathing, the way he probably opens his mouth and then closes it again like he always fucking does.
"Uh... I was actually busy... that's why..." he answers as he steps further inside and lets his bag drop to the floor.
You let out a small, humorless scoff under your breath, still not looking at him.ย Busy. Of course he was busy.ย Betย he was also busy avoiding you.
"Right," you mumble, eyes fixed on the water in the jar, watching the fish move in slow, careless circles.
"Are you... okay?โ"
Your head turns sharply, eyes locking onto him with a glare. "Why the fuck do you even care if I'm not?" you shoot back. But just as quickly, you feel that ugly edge, that bitterness creeping. Shit you hate it. You hate how it makes you sound. You hate how it makes you feel like the one who's losing control.
So you pull back. You look away first, breaking eye contact and reach for your bag, slinging it over your shoulder. The jar with the fish inside the plastic crinkles softly as you pull it close to your chest. "Just..." you click your tongue, your jaw tightening as you force your tone back. "Pay that damn Wi-Fi."
You walk past him without waiting for a response, your shoulder brushing the air near him but never quite touching. Your hand grips the doorknob of your room, pausing for just a second before you push it open.
You inhale deeply, and without turning back, you add, "and fix the AC." Then you step inside and shut the door behind you.
Silence follows immediately. You lean back against the door, eyes squeezing shut. "Stupid boy," you mutter under your breath, your voice cracking just slightly despite your effort to keep it together. You drag a hand down your face, exhaling sharply, trying to shake off the weight pressing down on you. You really wish you could rewind everything. Back to when things were simple. When you were just minding your own damn business, not expecting anything, not hoping for anything.ย No stupid feelings.
Because what the hell were you even thinking? A fairytale?ย Really?ย You let out a dry, almost bitter laugh, shaking your head as you push yourself off the door and move further into your room. "What could possibly go right with a man disguised as a loving prince?" you mutter. "They're all the same. Fucking villains." You huff, running a hand through your hair. "Witches, even. Pretending to be kind, then dragging you down, poisoning youโ"
You stop mid-step, blinking at yourself like you just caught your own bullshit. "...Why the fuck are you thinking about fairytales again?" you mutter, almost annoyed.
And you need to place this fucking fish outside your room!
You threw yourself into training as though it was the only thing keeping you from completely losing your shit.
Regionals wasn't just some school-level game anymore, you carried your city's name on your back whether you liked it or not. The drills were stricter, harsher, less forgiving. Coaches didn't care if your legs were shaking or your lungs felt like they were about to collapse; they pushed anyway, barked orders like you were machines instead of people. It was exhausting, and so brutal, kind of relentlessโand somehow, you welcomed it. Because every second your body ached, every moment your mind focused on the game, it left less room for him.
Unluckilyโluckilyโyou weren't stuck in one place either. The team moved from city to city, different courts, different environments, different faces. New people, new opponents, new distractions. You met players who were just as aggressive, just as desperate to win, some even worse. It forced you to stay sharp, forced you to adapt.
At night, when your body finally gave out and you collapsed into unfamiliar beds, there was barely enough energy left in you to think. Barely enough energy to remember anything, and yet...ย somehow, in those quiet moments right before sleep took you, your mind still slipped.ย Back to him.
One night while packing your things for another early call time, your hands moving automatically as you zipped your bag. Your thoughts drifted.ย What is Jake even doing right now?
You frowned, shoving your clothes harder into your bag like that would shove the thought away too. Before you left the apartment earlier that week, the fridge was nearly empty. Barely anything inside except leftovers that didn't look touched and random shit that didn't make sense together. It's not like you were cooking. Hell, you barely ate at home anymore. You never even did heathy groceries in the first place. That was alwaysโ
You stopped.
Is he eating properly now? Is he still organizing everything like some obsessive little nerd? Or did he just... stop?
Oh, dude. What the actual fuck! You shake your head, physically rejecting the thought. Why the hell do you even care? Why does it matter if he's eating or starving or turning into a complete mess? He made his choice.
"...Yeah, right," you mutter under your breath.
Because the truth is simple, and it pisses you off more than anythingโyouย stillย like him.
Despite everything. Despite how he looked you in the eye and said he didn't feel the same. Despite how fucking humiliating that moment was. The feeling didn't just disappear. It didn't magically shut off like a switch. It stayed, always clinging to you no matter how much you tried to drown it out with training, exhaustion,ย orย distance.ย It's normal.ย Feelings don't just go away overnight. You're not broken for still thinking about him.
...Are you crazy?
Not really.ย You've always been like thisโyour mind drifting back to things you once liked, replaying moments like they meant more than they probably did. You remember those stupid, simple days when it was just a harmless crush. When you'd catch yourself staring at him across the room, noticing the way his braces flashed when he smiled, how his eyes would light up behind his glasses whenever he talked about something he liked. It was easy back then. It was safe... nothing is complicated
And yeahโfuck itโyou're not blind. He's not ugly. Not even close.
But the momentย thatย thought settles, your expression twists, your own bitterness creeping back in like a bad habit you can't shake. Your mood shifts so fast it almost gives you whiplash. One second you're remembering something soft, the next you're clenching your jaw, your hands curling into fists. "God, how I hate nerds..." you mutter. "Stupid, fucking... face." You let out a sharp breath, dragging a hand through your hair as you lean back, staring at the ceiling.
Because no matter how good he looked, no matter how nice he seemedโYou still kind of want to punch him. Hard.
"This card represents the burning love that you have right now. The two of you will communicate well, and maybe in the near future, both of you will not take the same pathโbut it will not be a reason for any separation. Either way, the fire around you will ignite and make your relationship stronger."
"Awww."
A chorus of coos makes your eye twitch. Rei actually sniffs, her hand hovering over her chest as her eyes glued to the three cards laid out in front of her. You stand there, arms loosely crossed, staring at the whole thing with a thinly veiledย cringe, your lips pressing into a line as you take in the scene. The setup is just a small booth with a cloth-covered table, a deck of worn-out cards. It's part of the open house happening around Decelis, booths were scattered everywhere โย whatever. You only ended up here because your coaches had some sudden emergency meeting, leaving you all with a free hour to waste. And somehow,ย thisย is where your team decided to spend it.
"Is that legit-legit?" Winter asks, wiggling her eyebrows as she leans closer to the table. The rest of your teammates crowd around too, forming a semi-circle, their attention completely hooked. You can already tell this is about to go south for you. They look too entertained.
"Take what resonates, leave what doesn't," the tarot reader replies calmly. You bet she said that line a hundred times already today. "I am just reading the cards and interpreting what it says."
"Well then," Winter grins, clearly already plotting something, "I'll pay three dollars and read my friend's love life!" Before you can even react, she drops the money into the jar and without hesitation, shoves you forward into the seat right in front of the table.
"Huhโ?"
You barely get the chance to protest before hands are suddenly everywhere. Winter, Giselle, Ningning, and Karina are all close in, clapping their hands over your mouth, pushing you down into the chair as they giggle. "Don't ruin it!" "Just sit!" "We're curious!" they whisper loudly over each other, completely ignoring your muffled protests.
You glare at them, trying to pry their hands off, but they're annoyingly persistent. The tarot reader raises an eyebrow at the display but doesn't comment. Instead, she calmly begins shuffling the deck, her eyes flicking toward you for a brief momentโlike she's assessing you, reading more than just your face. The cards slide smoothly between her fingers. Eventually, your teammates let go, though they stay close, practically leaning over your shoulders, their eyes glued to the table like.
Three cards are drawn and placed carefully in front of you. Two upright. One reversed.
You finally manage to sit properly, rubbing your jaw where they had covered your mouth, shooting them one last annoyed look before your attention driftsโdespite yourselfโback to the cards. You don't even believe in this shit.
"I see..." the girl starts, she leans slightly forward, studying the spread. Her brows knit together just a little, like something caught her attention. "Your partner is a very loving person... with genuine feelings."
Your nostrils flare almost immediately, your lips parting as your face twists into disbelief and annoyance. You don't even bother hiding it, and the way you can already feel the shift around you tooโthe girls who were leaning in with excitement just seconds ago are now deflating, their interest dropping as fast as it came. There's a collective sigh, obvious with disappointment. Of course. Becauseย what partner?ย You don't have one. Everyone here knows that. This is exactly why you don't believe in this shit. It's all vague, allย bullshit.
"The images around the cards represent someone who pays close attention to you... someone who puts in a lot of effort," the girl continues, unfazed by the obvious shift in energy. Your teammates exchange looks but no one interrupts her. Not yet. Well, there's still that tiny thread of curiosity keeping them quiet.
And then, unexpectedly, she pulls another card.
"Is your partner a Scorpio?"
"Hm." You respond flatly, barely even thinking about it, your attention already drifting as you inspect your nails.
"Right..." she murmurs anyway. "You'reย lucky. He is intensely passionate and deeply loyal to youโincredibly loyal and devoted. The kind of person who gives everything, but expects the same level of commitment in return."
You let out a short, dry snort at that, the wordย luckyย hitting your ears wrong.ย Lucky?ย Yeah, fucking right. Every person who reads zodiac signs, tarot cards, whatever the hell this isโthey always say the same shit.
"As expected with this reversed card," she continues, tapping the last one lightly, "it also reflects your partner's nature. Hesitant to open up. Someone who tests potential partners before fully letting them in... That's all!"
"God, I can't believe I wasted my three dollars," Winter mutters under her breath, already turning away with an annoyed huff. "She doesn't even have a boyfriend."
There's a ripple of agreement, the group starting to lose interest completely now, the moment clearly not living up to their expectations. One by one, they begin to shift away from the table, their attention already drifting to the next booth.
You don't move right away. Your eyes stay on the cards, before snorting. You push yourself up to the chair, breaking whatever stupid spell you almost fell into.
"Hope you had a long, healthy, happy relationship. Both of you deserve it. Thank you!" the girl chirps, already reaching for her jar. You watch her fingers flick through the bills. You huff under your breath, shaking your head as you step away.
Loving? Effort? Loyal? Hesitant? And what the fuck was thatโScorpio?ย You roll your eyes hard enough it almost hurts. You don't even know someone who's a Scorpio. Not a single one. The whole thing was a scam, and somehow people were eating that shit up like it was gospel. Good for them. Couldn't be you.
Your attention shifts fastโthank fuck!โdragged away by something actually worth your time.ย Wagyu barbecue. Your eyes light up, stepping closer like you're being pulled in. "Holy shit," you mutter under your breath, staring at the display, the marbling on the meat, the way it sizzles on the grill. And then you squint slightly. "That's a black sausage?" you mumble, half-confused, half-intrigued.
Food.ย At least food makes sense. You shift your weight, already pulling out money, already thinking about how that three dollars should've gone here instead of that tarot bullshit. You take a bite of something you bought, chewing absentmindedly, letting the flavors comfort you.
"What's with ya booth?" you ask casually as you drift along with your team, your voice blending into the noise as you hop from one stall to another, not really caring about anything except eating and not thinking. You clutch your food, biting, chewing, swallowing, moving. The others are loud, curious, energetic, and you are actually keeping up with them, as long as you have your food.
"Oh! The Civil Engineering Booth! What's the catch?!" Winter suddenly calls out.
Your drink goes down the wrong pipe, your throat burning as you cough, eyes watering as you bend slightly forward, one hand clutching your chest. "Shitโ" you rasp, trying to breathe,ย but it's already too late. Because when you look up, he's there.
Jake was standing right there!
Your mouth falls open slightly, breath catching again but for a completely different reason this time. He looks... different. Not drastically, not in a way that anyone else would probably point out, but you see it. Of course you fucking do,ย duh. His hair's a bit longer now, falling just slightly differently around his face, softening him in a way that makes your chest tighten. He's wearing this gray long sleeve under a blue polo, something that looks weird, considering the hot weather... Of course it is weird! Butย it doesn't. On him, it justย works. Itย alwaysย fucking works. There's a camera slung over his nape too, resting against his chest.
Fuck. Your heart stutters. It actually fucking stutters. God, why is he so handsome, you wanna cry โ STOP!
"Uh... we now have some kind of, you know... furniture and displays around your house?" Jake says, voice a little shaky, and you can hear it even from where you're standing. You hate that you can still recognize every little change in his tone. His eyes flick around, scanning the group, pausing briefly on jerseys, on facesโgetting closer, closerโ
And when you realize he's about to look at youโ You turn your back, shoulders stiffening as you stare straight ahead. Your grip tightens around your food, knuckles whitening slightly as your heart starts pounding like it's trying to break out of your chest.
Stupid. Why the fuck did you turn your back? Your jersey has your surname printed on it! Dumb bitch!
You squeeze your eyes shut for half a second, internally cursing yourself out.ย Great. Fucking great. Out of all the booths, all the places, all the fucking timingโthis is where you end up. You can feel it crawling under your skin, that restless, suffocating awareness that he's right there, that if you just turn your head a little, you'd see him clearly.
"Do you want to get out of here?" Karina whispers beside you. Her eyes are on you and it pisses you off a little because it means you're not hiding it as well as you thought. You don't answer immediately. You just stare ahead, blinking and forcing your breathing to even out.
"โWow! A zodiac sign bracelet?! Where did you bought it?!" Winter suddenly blurts out, loud as hell. Just like that, the attention shifts, your teammates swarming forward like curious idiots, drawn to something shiny and new.
Jake attention is split. He's opening his lips to answer but his eyes keep dragging back to your turned back.
"I-It's fine. We had an agreement that we stick together so when we go back we don't have to message those who is missingโ" you whisper back to Karina quickly. It sounds reasonable. Itย isย reasonable.
"Uh... my friend from the Art Major booth, gave it to me..." Jake answers, still looking back and fourth to you.
"What sign is this again?" Giselle asks, reaching out to touch his wrist and raising it up to observe the bracelet.
"It's aโ uh... a Scorpio." Jake replies.
"It's so obvious, babe! God, you are such a dumb sometimes." Ningning snorts.
"Shut it, girls! Well, Mr.ย uhh..." Rei cuts in, she squints down at the tag clipped to his shirt, leaning just a little too close. "Jake! Mr. Jake," she repeats with a grin, clapping her hands. "Can you take a picture of us as a team? We're off to Regionals in the next few weeks! And we look so fresh. Maybe we could use it for the journalist page if they upload a good luck post!"
Jake's attention was being dragged away again, redirected, and forced into your teammatesย again.
"Uh... sure..." Jake answers, his voice hesitant, or maybe it's just you hearing it differently now.
You don't turn. You don't dare turn. But you can imagine him nodding slightly, adjusting that stupid camera strap on his shoulder, probably pushing his glasses up out of habit.
"Great! Are you gonna upload it on your page?" Rei continues without missing a beat, already hyped and already moving.
"...The creatives are..." he starts, clearly trying to explain.
"That's great!" Rei cuts him off anyway, not even caring about the details, and turning her attention back to the group.
When is this gonna fucking end?
You shift your weight, foot tapping against the ground in small, impatient movements to distract you from the other thingโthe bigger thingโyou're trying so hard not to face. God! You can feel your teammates moving, adjusting, forming some kind of formation.
"Hello?! Number 9?!" Rei suddenly calls out, her voice snapping directly at you.
Fuck you!ย You want to curse out loud.
You inhale slowly, forcing your neutral expression before turning to move, not fully facing him yet, not looking at him, just stepping into position.
You settle at the side, arms crossing loosely, trying to make yourself smaller, less noticeableโ
"Stopโ what are you doing?!" Winter hisses immediately, grabbing your arm and dragging you without hesitation. "You should be in the middle! You're a libero and you had a different color of your jersey!" She pushes you right into the center.
Your feet plant as your body going stiff for a split second. You're right in front now, visible and now exposed. You were absolutely going to kill your teammates.
You don't look at him. You keep your gaze forward, somewhere just above the lens.
Jake bites his lip awkwardly, adjusting his stance behind the camera, fingers fumbling just slightly as he brings it up.
"Okay... uhm..." he mutters, trying to gather everyone's attention. "Justโ stay still..."
Your chest tightens. You don't know why this feels harder than confronting him. You've faced him before. You've yelled at him. You've cried in front of him!
Standing here, pretending like nothing happened while he looks at you through a lensโ God, this feels worse!
"Smile," he says.
You let yourself look straight at the camera, at the lens, at him behind it. Your lips lift automatically, forming a smile you've practiced a thousand times for games and pictures.
One second. Two. Five.ย Ten.
There's this weird stretch ofย silenceย beneath the noise, like something's off, like the moment isn't ending when it should. You don't move at first, still holding the pose out of habit, but then your brows knit slightly, your smile starting to falter at the edges. He's not lowering the camera. He's just...ย there. Watching through the lens like he forgot what he was supposed to do next.
"Uh... is it finished?" Ryujin finally asks, confused, a little impatient as she shifts her weight beside you.
That's when Jake seems to snap out of it.
"Ohโ... sorry. Yes, we'll just upload it later," he says quickly, his voice stumbling over itself as he lowers the camera in a rush. He doesn't look at anyone because he turns his back almost immediately.
Your smile drops the second the camera is no longer pointed at you.
"Thank you!" your teammates chorus, already moving on, already distracted, their attention bouncing to the next booth.
"He looks so familiar, right? Had he participated or watched on VIP?" one of them asks absentmindedly as they walk.
You glance at Karina, and she's already looking at you. There's a split second where neither of you say anything. Her lips press together, holding it in, not saying shit for once, and you mirror it, your own mouth tightening as you look away first.
You bury it.
You buryย himย under the loud whistle of your coach that keeps ripping through the air and it's trying to split your skull open. Training hits harder than usual, or maybe it just feels that way because you're forcing yourself not to think about anything else. Your body moves onโrun, receive, dive, stand, repeat. You're tired.
The coaches don't give a shit.
"Again!" the whistle blows, and you barely have time to straighten your back before another ball comes flying at you. Your arms sting from the impact, your knees burn from the constant drops, and your breathing is uneven, chest heaving as you try to keep up. They said you already had your break. One whole hour earlier, like that was supposed to be enough to carry you through the rest of this hell. Fucking hell.
You try to sneak a second to grab your water because your throat dry as shit, your hand already reaching for the bottle. You tilt it, barely getting a sipโ
The coach slowly called out your name. You freeze mid-action, glancing up slowly. He was staring at you with his arm crossed, an obvious disappointment carried in his eyes.
You lower the bottle immediately, swallowing hard, your shoulders straightening as you put it down. "Sorry," you mutter under your breath, even if he didn't ask for it, even if he didn't say shit. You already know.
You're fucked.
"Oh my God! I can't imagine what will be the training if we actually win that and proceed to National. I'm gonna die," Ningning whines later as she collapses onto the bench like her soul just left her body.
You barely respond. You're sitting there, hunched slightly, pressing an ice pack against your bruised arm, then your thigh, then somewhere near your ribs where it hurts the most. The punishment was stupid.ย Straight up stupid. The coach made the team aim at you like you were some kind of target practice, all because you slipped up.
Dull throbs spreading under your skin, your body overly aware of every ache, every sting. It's not unbearable. Butย it's a lot.
"I'm so sorry," Karina says. She wraps her arms around you carefully, her hand hovering before gently touching one of your bruises.
You huff quietly, shifting a little but not pulling away. "It's okay," you mumble with your tired voice. You adjust the ice again, pressing it harder this time. "I just want to go home."
God, your body feels like absolute shit. Every step on the way home feels heavier than the last, like your muscles are dragging behind you instead of actually working with you. Your shoulders ache, your thighs burn, your arms feel like they've been beaten rawโandย honestly, they kind of have.ย All you can think about is food. Then sleepโeight hours minimum, ten if the universe suddenly decides to stop screwing you over with morning classes. Maybe even a massage, yeah, that sounds fucking perfect, you'll drag Karina and Ryujin to a spa, waste money you probably shouldn't, just to feel human again.
By the time you get back to the apartment, your brain is running on fumes. You don't even bother turning on all the lights, just enough to see where you're going before you drop your bag onto the sofa with a dull thud. It's already 7:45 PM, you don't make it any further than the living room before you just... collapse. Your body gives in immediately, sinking into the couch, your head tilting back as you stare blankly ahead.
That's when you see it the jar. It was sitting there on the table like it's been waiting for you this whole time.
"...Oh, shit," you mutter under your breath, pushing yourself up just enough to look at it properly. The guppy swims lazily inside, existing in its own tiny world while you've been out getting your ass handed to you for days straight. You slide down from the couch to the floor, dragging yourself closer until you're sitting there, elbows on the table, your head almost resting against it as you stare at the fish.
"You're getting fat," you mumble, eyes half-lidded as you watch it move in slow circles. Your finger taps lightly against the glass. "Are you eating well?" you ask again, like it's actually going to answer you. You let out a quiet, tired laugh, shaking your head slightly. "Who's feeding you? That nerd is feeding you?"
You keep staring, your gaze softening despite yourself. "You better not have some kind of attachment issues," you add, "or you'll end up swimming in the river." Another quiet huff of laughter leaves you, but it's weak, fading quickly as exhaustion starts to take over again.
Your eyes slowly close. You don't even notice the small movement behind you. Bumble moves slowly, navigating its way toward you. It bumps lightly against your leg.
Bump.ย You don't react. It pauses, tilting slightly, then nudges you again, a little firmer this time, its rounded head pressing against your calf like it's trying to get your attention.
Bump. Still nothing. Your breathing has already evened out, your body too tired to respond, your mind slipping somewhere between awake and asleep.
"Hi?"ย it chirps. It waits patiently its little frame angled toward you like it expects something back. But you don't move. Not even a twitch.
After a few seconds of nothing, Bumble shifts, turning its body slowly toward the hallway, toward that doorโthe one thatย isn'tย yours, then it starts bumping into it. Soft, repetitive taps against the wood. The sound blends into your half-conscious state, like it's happening underwater.
The door creaks open.
And everything after that feels... wrong. Or maybe not wrong... just unreal. Your body feels too heavy, like it's sinking or like gravity suddenly decided to double its pull on you. Your thoughts drift in fragments, slipping away before they can form properly.ย Did you pass out?
It feels like a fever dream. Like you're floating, butย also not. Like your body is there, but your mind is somewhere else entirely.
Cold. It's cold. There's something cold against you. It presses gently, carefully, and your body reacts before your brain does, leaning into it without hesitation. Your eyes try to open but they can't. Your limbs are now unresponsive, but the sensation continues, there was something so smooth brushing against your skin. It moves along your hair first,ย fingers...no, something like fingersโthreading lightly through it, pushing it away from your face. Then your temple. Then your cheekbone.
Good. It feels good. You let out the faintest breath, your body instinctively leaning closer, chasing that touch without even realizing it. Your head tilts slightly, giving in, surrendering to the sensation.ย You need more.
When you wake up the next morning, the first thing that hits you isn't confusionโit's just this dull, heavy awareness that your body still fuckingย hurts. Your eyes crack open slowly, light slipping in through the curtains, and you blink at the ceiling like you're trying to remember something important... but nothing comes. There's no clear memory of how you got here, no moment of climbing into bed, no dragging yourself under the covers. You just... woke up here. Lying flat on your back, blanket half-thrown over your legs like you'd been placed there instead of settling in yourself.
You stare at it for a second. Then you shrug it off.
God, you don't even have the energy to question it.
What matters isโyou actually slept. Your muscles still ache, your bruises still sting when you stretch, but it's manageable. "Fuck... I could've slept more," you mumble under your breath, dragging a hand over your face as you sit up slowly, joints protesting but not as violently as yesterday. You swing your legs off the bed, feet hitting the floor, and just sit there for a moment, letting yourself exist before the day starts kicking your ass again.
Routine pulls you out of your room without much thought.
You end up in the living room, eyes automatically landing on the jar sitting on the table. The guppy swims lazily inside, completely fine. You crouch down, tapping the glass lightly before feeding it, watching it dart toward the food.
"Geez, you're greedy," you mutter, a small huff leaving your nose.
Your gaze shifts slightlyโto the side, and there you saw Bumble.ย Sitting there quietly beside the jar, completely still.
You stare at it for a second. "...Weird," you mumble under your breath, brows pulling together slightly. Your shoulders lift in a small shrug, brushing it off. "Whatever."
You stand up, grabbing your things, pushing the thought aside as quickly as it came. There's no point overthinking stupid shit this early in the morning.
"Morning!" Rei greets the second you step into the court, her voice bright despite the early hour as she stretches her arms above her head.
"Morning... what's for breakfast?" you ask lazily, dropping your bag onto the bench before stretching your arms out.
"Hm?" Rei glances at you, thinking for a second before her face lights up. "I think 7/11 just restocked their Spam Kimchi Fried Rice, want to get some?"
You pause mid-stretch, considering it for half a second. "Okay... that's tolerable," you say with a small nod. "Let's grab some after stretching."
More of your teammates trickle in, chatter overlapping, energy building as you all go through warm-ups. By the time you finish, the decision is already madeโfood first.
The convenience store is crowded as usual, cold air hitting your skin the second you step inside, a welcome contrast to the heat outside. You grab a slurpee almost immediately, sipping from it as your teammates scatter around, grabbing whatever they want, talking over each other like always.
"Oh!" Karina suddenly exclaims, pointing toward a standee near the entrance. "They got Park Jongseong standee!"
You glance over briefly, unimpressed, sipping your drink. "Who the fuck is Park Jongseong?" you mutter, already looking away.
Karina gasps. "God, are you that outdated?! Park Jongseong is a rising actor! He's studying in Decelis and about to graduate!"
"Good for him," you mumble, clearly not giving a shit, taking another sip.
"Ohโlook, the Engineering posted our photos!" Rei suddenly says, grabbing your attention as she waves her phone around.
All of you crowd around her immediately, squeezing in, shoulders bumping as you lean closer to see. The group photo pops up first. When Winter swipes to the next photo, her thumb dragging across the cracked screen with zero care, Karina gasps. Your brows knit together immediately.
"What?" you mutter, stepping closer, leaning in just enough to see the phone without fully committing to caring. But then you do see itโand...ย the fuck?
Ningning whined, completely missing the shift in your expression. "It's so unfair! How come you're always the favorite of photographers and sport journalists?!" she complains, nudging your shoulder.
You didn't even answer at all. Your eyes stay glued to the screen, locked onto that photo. It's you.ย Just you. Not the team, not the formation, not even a candid group momentโit's fucking you. Zoomed in. Cropped so tightly that Karina's arm is barely visible at the edge, Ryujin completely gone. You're smiling in it, relaxed, unaware. It's not a stolen blurry shot eitherโit's clear, it was focused... Intentional.
"What the fuck..." you breathe out.
Karina leans closer, squinting. "The man who took our photo isn't even a photographer or a sports journalist," she mutters, more to herself now, her voice dropping as her brain starts connecting dots you don't even want to acknowledge. "Oh God..." Her head slowly turns toward you, eyes widening.
"Don't start," you cut in immediately, your glare snapping to her before she can even open her mouth properly. You already know. You fucking know what she's about to say, and you're not in the mood for it.
But of course, Karina being Karina, she doesn't stop. "He likes you!" she blurts out anyway, her finger practically stabbing toward the screen.
Your jaw clenches so tight it almost hurts. "Are you fucking serious right now?" you snap, heat rising up your neck, not even sure if it's anger or something else. "I told you. He literally said he doesn't feel the same. Did you forget that part orโ"
"Who likes who?" Giselle suddenly cuts in, sliding into the conversation, eyes bouncing between you and Karina with interest.
"Wait... so you had a talking stage but it failed? Tell us more!" Winter jumps in right after, leaning forward with way too much excitement, completely missingโor ignoringโthe way your expression tightens.
Your mouth falls open, but nothing comes out at first. It's like the questions start stacking too fast, overlapping, tangling together until you can't even grab one to respond to. The noise builds againโvoices piling on top of each other, reactions, assumptions, teasingโand suddenly it feels too loud for something that should've stayed quiet.
"So that guy who took our photo was the one you said that won't talk to you?" Ryujin adds, her brows lifting as she studies your face more carefully, like she's trying to confirm something she already suspects.
"...Wait," another voice cuts through. "You know Jake?" Yunjin asks with confusion as she looks at Ryujin first, then shifts her gaze to you. There's a pause, a beat where her expression sharpens slightly. "You know Jake?" she repeats.
Your mouth goes dry instantly. That name, coming from someone else, hits different. Your thoughts trip over each other, questions forming faster than you can process.ย How does she know him? Why does she sound like that? Why does it suddenly feel like you're missing a part of the story?
"Who's Jake?" Giselle tries to jump back in, but Ningning immediately slaps a hand over her mouth, eyes wide like she just realized this isn't just casual gossip anymore.
"J-Just... my roommate," you manage to say, the words coming out more stiff than you intend, your grip tightening around your drink again.
"So you know the guy that took our photo and didn't say anything about him?" Karina presses, throwing her hands up in disbelief.
Before you can even respond, Yunjin lets out a short, disbelieving scoff, stepping in. She raises her brows, one hand lifting slightly as she gestures midair. "It's so random to bring him up, duh?" she says in a mocking tone. "And he's boring as hell. What do you want me to say? How he dated one of my best friends in high school and completely turned into a distant asshole with zero emotional intelligence?"
"Ohhhh,"ย the girls around you gasp almost in sync at the gossip.
Your stomach twists, you remember that conversation the way he mentioned he dated someone before, how it "didn't work out." He didn't elaborate. You didn't push. It felt unnecessary back then.
"Oh my," Yunjin continues, shaking her head like she's already over the topic, even though she's the one who dropped the bomb. "I didn't know you'd fall for that whole nerdy, quiet, introverted charm thing too." Her lips press. "He's a good guy, sure. I'll give him that. But he's not a good partner."
Your fingers loosen slightly around your cup. You find yourself staring at nothingโsome random spot past Rei's shoulder, past the glass doors, past everythingโbecause your mind is already somewhere else. Back to the quiet moments, the stupid small things, it pisses you off, because it shouldn't matter this much. It wasn't even anything official.ย It wasn't even real, right?
"It was just like a one-time thing," you say, forcing your voice to come out normal. You shrug one shoulder, like it's nothing. "He's just my roommate." Your lips stretch into something that resembles a smile. "I didn't like him that much. Don't worry, girls."
The silence that follows lasts barely a second before it gets filled again. "Well, you better not like him!" Ningning cuts in quickly, narrowing her eyes at you. She nudges your shoulder, then slaps your back lightly, the others chiming in with similar reactions. "With Yunjin's side story background, he's not a perfect match for you!"
"Yeah, seriously," Winter adds, shaking her head like she's already made up her mind about him. "We don't support bad decisions."
You nod along anyway, letting them have it, letting them believe it. It's easier that way.
But Karina doesn't let it go. "Waitโno, that doesn't make sense," she hisses, leaning closer to you. "It was obvious that he likes you!" Her finger taps against Rei's phone again, like she needs to remind you of the evidence sitting right there. "I mean, look at that picture alone! That's not normal!"
You roll your eyes. "It's just a picture, Karina. Stop overthinkingโ"
"And what if he does?" Ryujin suddenly cuts in. She flicks Karina's forehead lightly, making her hiss in protest. "Stop pushing her again if it's just going to hurt her more."
Karina frowns, rubbing her forehead, but she doesn't argue back immediately. Ryujin's gaze shifts to you. "It doesn't matter if he likes her or not," she continues. "He already caused enough damage." She pauses for a second, like she's choosing her words carefully, but the bluntness is still there. "He'sย notย man enough to stand by whatever the hell he's feeling right now."
You let out a small breath through your nose, shaking your head like you're brushing it all off, even if it doesn't actually go away. Whatever. They're right. All of them, in their own loud, messy wayโthey're right.ย You shouldn't be this stressed over something that was never even labeled, never even defined. It wasn't a relationship. It wasn't anything serious. It was just... something that happened. Something that ended.ย That should be it.
He made his point right there, standing in front of you. It shouldn't matter anymore after that. It should've killed whatever stupid hope was growing inside you before it even had the chance to become something real.
So why the fuck does it still hurt like this?ย You're just lonely.ย That's it,ย right?ย That's the easiest explanation. You got used to him being thereโhis presence, his voice, the small routines you didn't even notice forming until they were gone. You got used to someone paying attention, even in his awkward, quiet way. Of course it's going to feel empty now. Of course it's going to sting.
It doesn't mean it was love. You're just lonely.
Feed the fish, eat a lot of protein, train until your legs feel like they're about to give out, drag yourself to class, pretend you're listening, go home, sleep like you're dead.ย Avoid Jake.
Feed the fish, eat a lot of protein, train harder, push through the soreness, ignore the bruises blooming under your skin, keep your head down, don't think too much.ย Avoid Jake.
Feed the fish, eat a lot of protein, train, study, sleep,ย avoid Jake.
"I know you're busy but the... uh... water bill payment is due..."
Oh.ย Right.
Bills.ย Responsibilities. Actual life shit that doesn't revolve around your messy, unresolved feelings. Not everything is about you spiraling over some guy who couldn't even look you in the eye after fucking you.
You click your tongue softly under your breath and bend down to tie your shoelaces, using the motion as an excuse to avoid looking at him. Your fingers move quickly,ย even if your chest feels tight again just from his presence being this close. Without thinking too much about it, you reach into your wallet and pull out crumpled bills, extending your hand toward him without lifting your gaze.
"Here," you mutter, handing him the fifteen dollars.
There's a split second where your hand lingers midair, and you mentally curse yourself for even noticing it. You pull back immediately, wiping your palm against your shorts. Your eyes drop back to your wallet, flipping it open again out of habitโand that's when it hits you.ย It's fucking empty.ย Well, not completely empty, but close enough. You stare at it longer than you should, your brows knitting together slightly. All that extra food, all the random shit you've been buying just to distract yourselfโit adds up.
You don't even realize Jake's looking at it too. When you finally glance up and catch him staring, your expression shifts instantly. You snap the wallet shut and clear your throat like you've been caught doing something embarrassing.
"That would be enough, right?" you say nonchalantly, like you didn't just expose how broke you are. You sling your training bag over your shoulder, adjusting the strap. "I mean, I'm mostly at the city meet anyway. I didn't even use water for, like, almost two weeks."
Jake blinks behind his glasses. His gaze flickers from your face to your bag, then back again. "Y-Yeah... sure," he answers.
You're the one who looks away first. "Okay," you say quickly, already stepping back. "I'll get going." You turn slightly, ready to leave.
"Actuallyโ"
His voice stops you mid-step. You pause, slowly, you turn your head, glancing back at him over your shoulder, one brow lifting just slightly, your expression already guarded like you're expecting something you won't like.
"N-N-Nothing," he stutters, the word tripping over itself the second your eyes meet his.
He folds into himself again. His shoulders draw inward, his posture shrinking like a snail going back to it's shell. His gaze drops almost as quickly as it met yours.
You purse your lips, holding back whatever reaction tries to surface, and give him a small, absent nod instead. For a brief moment, his eyes linger on your face, like he's searching for something in your expression that isn't there anymore. That's the part that hits him the hardestโthat look you used to give him when things were still normal, when you were still figuring each other.
Are you... okay now?
The door shuts behind you. Jake doesn't move right away. He just stands there, staring at the empty space where you were a second ago.
Then suddenly, like something inside him snaps, he steps back and lets his head hit the wall. His breath comes out uneven, his fingers curling into fists before loosening again, like he doesn't even know what to do with his own body. Then he does it again. And again. Andย again. Each impact a little harder.ย Why can't he talk?ย Why the fuck can't he just say something when it matters?
His jaw tightens, teeth grinding as frustration builds in his chest. He pulls back once more and this time hits the wall harder than before, the sting shooting through his skullโand that's when it hits him. A flash of memory flodded into his mind.
Suddenly, he's not here anymore. Suddenly, he's back at high school.
"I know I'm not like the best partner either,"ย Kazuha says. Jake's mouth goes dry as he stares at her, his brain lagging behind the moment like it's refusing to process what's happening.
It's a random Tuesday. And yet here she is, standing in front of him, ending something he didn't even realize was breaking.
"You're a good guy, Jake," she continues, her hands clasped together in front of her. "I appreciate and love every moment we spent with each other. Thank you for that..." She pauses.ย "But it's better if we part ways."
Her words just... float there, Jake goes completely still. His shoulders draw in, shrinking instinctively, an action he always do if he's trying to make himself smaller. His eyes flicker away from her for a second, scanning the space around themโthe hallway, the passing students, the distant chatter.ย What if they were listening?
His fingers start fidgeting again, restless, rubbing against each other over and over. His heart is beating too fast. His head is too loud. There are too many thoughts forming all at once, piling up, overlapping, choking each other out before they can even become words.
"Are you..." Kazuha starts, her brows pulling together slightly as she looks at him. "...not gonna say anything?"
Jake looks at her then. Her eyes are glossyโnot crying, not yet, but close enough. Waiting. Expecting something.ย Anything.
And fuck,ย he wants to say something.ย He wants to ask why. Wants to understand what he did wrong. Wants to tell her he triedโthat he followed everything right, didn't he? He carried her bag, walked her home, remembered dates, bought flowers during monthsaries, gave her chocolates even when he didn't know if she liked them. He paid attention. He listened. He stayed.ย He liked her.ย Wasn't that...ย enough?
The words pile up in his throat, pressing, pushing, demanding to be let outโbut when he opens his mouth, nothing comes. His mind goes blank.
Completely, fucking blank. Jake swallows, his hands starting to sweat, his fingers twitching uselessly at his sides. Panic creeps in, tightening around his chest as the silence stretches too long. He knows he should speak. He knows this is the moment. He knows if he says nothing, it's going to end like this.
And still,ย he can't.ย His lips part slightly, but instead of words, all that comes out is a shallow breath. His gaze drops, unable to hold hers any longer, and slowly, almost helplessly,ย he shakes his head.
Not because he doesn't care. But because he doesn't know how to say that he does.
"Bro, you fumbled a baddie so bad. Tsk, tsk, tsk."
Sunghoon's leaning back on the bench. The ice rink behind them glows under harsh white lights. It's normal. Everything is normal.
Exceptย Jake. He's sitting there, hunched forward, elbows on his knees, staring at the ground. Jay walks in not long after, still dressed from whatever commercial shoot he just wrapped up, dropping his bag beside them. He takes one look at Jake and already knows something's off, his brows pulling together slightly before he exhales.
"You don't even try to chase her?" Jay asks. He leans forward a bit. "You know girls like that. If you show any effort, she might come back."
Jake doesn't respond. His gaze stays locked on the floor. His fingers twitch again, restless, picking at nothing, repeating the same useless motion over and over.
"Actually..." Sunghoon cuts in, shifting his posture as he glances between them. "You know ballet and figure skates train together, right? I overheard something..."
Jake's fingers pause for a second.
"...like uh..." Sunghoon continues, scratching the back of his neck, "she said you don't initiate anything. Likeโholding hands, saying stuff... you're just too quiet." He glances at Jake briefly before looking away again. "She said she doesn't feel the 'love'." He even does the air quotes, emphasizing the word.
Jake's chest tightens, but he still doesn't move.
"I mean, I can see you putting in effort," Sunghoon adds quickly, like he's trying to balance it out. He leans over and throws an arm around Jake's shoulder, giving him a brief squeeze. "You do shit. You're there. That counts." He exhales, shaking his head. "Social media standards are ruining relationships, I swear."
"No, don't say that," Jay glares at Sunghoon. "Of course women are sensitive. Sometimes they just... misunderstand actions if we don't say anything. That's normal."
"Yeah, but that's what they call 'words of affirmation', right?" Sunghoon scoffs, pulling his arm back. "What if our Jekjek here just sucks at that? Not everyone's built like that." He shrugs, leaning back again. "They should accept that too. We're not all gonna be talking sweet 24/7. That shit's exhausting."
"Yes, we can," Jay replies without missing a beat, "If we love our girl, we can." His eyes flicker to Sunghoon briefly. "You're just saying that because you're not in a relationship."
"Heyโ"
Ever since he was a child, Jake already knew there was something off about the way he spokeโor more like, the wayย he couldn't. It wasn't that he didn't have thoughts. Fuck, his head was always loud, always full of things he wanted to say, things he wanted to ask, things he wanted to explain. But the moment it had to pass through his mouth, it got stuck somewhere in his throat, tangled, choked out before it could even become words.
He remembers it too clearly, standing in front of the class, small hands clenched at his sides, his teacher smiling patiently while the rest of the room just... waited.ย Five minutes.ย A full five minutes of silence just because he couldn't say his own name. He could feel their eyes on him, hear the faint shifting of chairs, the quiet whispers starting to build. His mouth opened, closed, opened againโbut nothing came out except shaky breaths. It felt like drowning without water.
And yet... he wasn't bullied.
That's the part he always comes back to.ย He was lucky.ย Somehow, he was lucky. The kids didn't tear him apart for it, didn't laugh in his face the way he feared they would. Some of them even waited for him, awkwardly, patiently, like they didn't mind the silence as much as he did. He carried that with him growing upโthat quiet kind of relief. By the time he reached high school, he even managed to find people who stayed. Friends who filled in the gaps when he couldn't speak fast enough, who didn't push him too hard when he shut down. He had Sunghoon. He had Jay. He had... something close to normal.
And somehow, somehow, he even got lucky enough to have a pretty girlfriend. Pretty, warm, expressiveโeverything he wasn't. Someone who chose him despite the way his words always came out broken, incomplete, late. It felt unreal. Like he had somehow skipped steps, like life handed him something he didn't fully know how to hold. But he tried, he really did. In the ways he knew how.
He remembers the Art Therapy sessions clearly too. The therapist had a soft voice that didn't rush him, didn't pressure him into speaking when he couldn't.ย If you can't say it,ย they told him once,ย show it. There are other ways to communicate.ย And Jake held onto that.
Now it feels like a fucking lie. Because if that was enough... thenย whyย does it keep ending like this?
Maybe out of all things, love was the mostย unluckyย thing he'd ever stumble into. Everything else in his life had eventually fallen into placeโhis academics were solid, his routines were structured, his small circle of friends stayed consistent. He knew what to expect, knew how to function, knew how to exist without fucking things up too badly. It wasn't perfect, but it was stable. He was content with that kind of life, the kind where nothing felt too overwhelming, where nothing demanded more from him than what he could actually give.
And somewhere along the way, after high school, after that quiet, unresolved breakup that still lingered in the back of his head, Jake made a decision without really announcing it to anyone.
He wasn't going to fall in love again.
Not because he didn't believe in it but because he clearly didn't know how toย doย it right.
"And with that, Number 9 saves the day with her vampire speed! Decelis Academy earns another point!"
Jake remember he was 18, on his 12th Grade. The gym was loud that day, packed with students, and huge energy that Jake wasn't used to being around. He didn't even plan on being there. Jay practically dragged him along, insisting it would be "good exposure" or whatever reason he came up with as the school ambassador. Jake didn't argue. He just followed, sitting stiffly on the bleachers, hands resting awkwardly on his knees as he tried to ignore how overwhelming everything felt.
Until he saw you.
It was sudden. Like his brain just locked onto you without asking for permission. A beautifulย youย in a white jersey and short shorts.
You were already in motion when his eyes found you, your body low to the ground as you received the ball. Your movements were sharp but fluid, fast in a way that made it hard to follow. One second you were on one side of the court, the next you were divingโliterally throwing yourself onto the floor without hesitation, arms stretched out, saving a ball that should've been impossible to reach.
Jake blinked. Then leaned forward slightly without realizing it.
You got back up like it didn't hurt. And then it kept happening. You ran. You slid. Youย splitย just to receive the ball with your foot, and the crowdย lost it. Your teammates shouted your name, your energy feeding into theirs, your presence pulling the entire court together likeย youย were theย centerย of it all. There was nothing hesitant about you. Every move you made had purpose, had confidence, had this raw, fearless intensity that Jake couldn't even begin to understand.
You looked... unreal. Not just pretty. Not just attractive. You lookedย aliveย in a way he had never seen before.
Your hair stuck slightly to your face from sweat, your jersey clinging just enough to show the strain of your movements, your legs marked with faint bruises like proof of how hard you playedโand still, you kept going. You jumped, arms raised, eyes locked on the ball like nothing else in the world mattered in that moment.
Jake couldn't look away. It's just admiration. Nothing more. The kind of thing people feel when they see someone good at something, someone...ย brightย in a way that makes the rest of the room feel dimmer. That's all it is.
Jake had no plans to actually talk to you. No plans to get closer.
Because it was funny, almost ridiculous, to even imagine it.ย Youโthis gorgeous varsity player everyone seemed to orbit aroundโtalking to him?ย Someone who usually blended into the background unless someone actively looked at him.
When the game finally ended, the noise of the crowd didn't immediately fade. Jake followed Jay down from the bleachers toward the court level. People were already gathering around, phones out.
And thereย youย were. Right in the middle of it.
Jake remembers that part clearlyโnot just seeing you, butย watching you.ย The way your eyes moved around like you were trying to process the sudden attention instead of expecting it. You looked slightly confused, as if you didn't fully understand why everyone was crowding you. There was a faint awkwardness in the way you smiled, rubbing the back of your neck as people kept approaching.
"Can we take a picture?"
"Just one more!"
"Hey, great game!"
And you didn't refuse any of it. You just... accepted it. Laughing awkwardly here and there, nodding too quickly sometimes, shifting your weight from one foot to the other as your teammates got pulled into other groups of students. You weren't dismissive. You weren't annoyed. You didn't act like it was a burden. You just went along with it, like it hadn't fully registered yet that this level of attention was normal for you.
Little kids tugging at your sleeve. Students from other schools calling your name. Boysโmore boys than Jake expectedโhovering nearby, waiting for their turn like it was something they had to earn.
Jay nudged him. "Want to take a picture with her?" he asks casually. Jake's eyes almost widen immediately. His entire body stiffens for a second. Heat creeps up his neck as he quickly shakes his head.
"H-Huh?" he stutters, voice cracking slightly, before he shakes his head more firmly this time. "N-No."
Jay just grins at him like he already knows. "Come on," Jay says, tapping his back lightly, dragging him forward with easy confidence. "Let's take a picture. She might get famous internationally one day. Did you see her skills?"
Jake doesn't answer. But his feet still move. His eyesโno matter how many times he tries to pull them awayโkeep drifting back toward you. It's frustrating in a quiet way, like his focus is being stolen without permission. Every time he looks away, he ends up looking right back again.
"Hey, my name is Jay. Nice game, by the way."
Jay steps forward first as he approaches you, holding out a hand. Jake lingers half a step behind him, suddenly aware of everythingโhis posture, his breathing, the fact that he probably looks like he doesn't belong anywhere near this interaction. You turn toward them, still slightly flushed from the match. Even like this, even when you're clearly tired, there's something about you that doesn't soften.ย Beautiful. God, you were do damn beautiful.
"Hi, Jay. Thank you? I guess?" You give a small smile, polite but slightly awkward.
Oh God. Up close, it's worse. Not in a bad wayโno, not even close. You're intimidating,ย so fucking pretty!ย Jake can feel himself shrinking without moving. It doesn't make sense logicallyโhe's taller than you, standing right there, physically closer than most people in the crowdโbut mentally, he feels small, your presence fills the space too easily. Like there's no room left for him to exist normally inside it.
"Mind if we take a picture?" Jay asks again, gesturing lightly between the three of you.
"Sure."
Jay immediately shifts closer, guiding the position. And then it happens, you lift your arm and swing it around Jake's back as you settle into place for the photo.
Jake freezes for half a second. Your hand is warm through the fabric of his shirt, you're completely unbothered. But to him, it feels like something entirely differentโlike a switch being flipped inside his brain. His posture stiffens immediately, shoulders locking up, breath catching slightly as he tries very hard not to react in a way that would make this weird.
But you don't seem to notice. You're just standing there, in the middle of them, smiling naturally now as the camera is raised. Jay is talking about angles or something, adjusting positions, but Jake can barely process it. His mind is too focused on the fact thatย youย are there.ย Closeย enough to touch. Close enough to hear breathe. Close enough that if he turned his head slightly, he would be looking directly at you instead of trying not to.
And somehowโcompletely out of character for himโJake finds himself smiling.
The camera clicks.
And for a fraction of a second, everything feels suspendedโlike the world pauses just long enough for him to exist in that moment without overthinking it.
Afterward, Jay steps back, already shifting into casual conversation again, but Jake stays still for a beat longer. His eyes flick briefly toward you again, then away, then back again like a broken reflex he can't fix.
This is nothing. He will eventually forget you. He is sure of that. This feelingโwhatever it isโtemporary.
Years passed, and Jake ended up exactly where everyone expected him to beโEngineering, decent grades, still had a stable routine. He had a scholarship that eased the financial pressure on his parents. His life, for the most part, had become structured in a way he could actually manage: classes, assignments, study sessions. His parents were still supportive, calling every now and then, reminding him to take care of himself.
Sunghoon was still skating, still grinding through competitions under Decelis. Jay, on the other hand, had started shifting into modeling, acting, random opportunities that slowly turned into actual industry attention. It was strange watching them all move forward in different directions while still somehow staying within reach. Jake stayed in touch with them.
The only thing that didn't quite fit into place was the dorm situation inside Decelis.
It was strict. Too strict in some ways, and ironically not strict enough in others. There were rulesโcurfews, schedules, restrictionsโbut somehow the environment still felt messy. People breaking curfew, doors opening and closing late at night, voices echoing down hallways when he was trying to study. His sleep schedule was constantly getting disrupted, his focus breaking at the worst possible times. He couldn't properly revise after a certain hour, couldn't rest when he needed to, couldn't even sit in silence without someone disturbing it in some way.
The only dormmate he had ever managed to properly communicate with was Heeseung.
They weren't close in a dramatic sense, but they understood each other in a way that made living together tolerable. Same academic field, similar mindsetโa little detached from the noise around them. Heeseung was the kind of person who could spend hours building something without feeling the need to fill the silence with unnecessary conversation.
"Apartment complex on the streets of the Avenue," Heeseung said one afternoon, barely looking up from the small robot he was dismantling on his desk. "There's a lot of listings for people looking for roommates.ย Prosโtwo to three rooms, so you can have your own space."
Jake listened quietly from his bed, one hand resting on his notes, the other scrolling lazily on his phone without really absorbing anything. He tilted his head slightly at the explanation, already interested at the idea.
"Cons," Heeseung continued, pausing to adjust a tiny wire, "it's expensive. And there's like aย ninety percentย chance you end up with a girl roommate."
Jake blinked. Then looked up properly. "What's wrong with having a girl roommate?" he asked, genuinely confused, like he had missed a very important piece of information somewhere in the logic.
Heeseung finally glanced at him, expression flat, like this was obvious information that didn't need elaboration. "Tension will be too high," he said simply, shrugging one shoulder as he went back to his work. "You might fuck and then everything gets complicated emotionally."
Jake stared at him for a second."...What?"
Heeseung didn't even react much, just continued tightening a screw. "It happens."
Jake leaned back slightly, processing that in the most literal, disconnected way possible. His brain tried to compute it like a formulaโinput, output, consequenceโbut it didn't really connect to anything in his actual life experience. He had never thought about roommates in that way. Never even considered that possibility as something that could happen just because two people shared a space.
All he wanted was simple.
A place where he could breathe. A place where no one slammed doors at midnight, where he could actually study before eight without interruptions, where silence wasn't something he had to fight for. The gender of the roommate didn't matter to him.
"Isn't it better than five guys in a dorm anyway?" Jake muttered after a moment, more to himself than to Heeseung. "At least it's quieter."
Heeseung gave a short hum in response, still focused on the robot in his hands. "Probably."
Oh boyโJake should've listened to Heeseung's cons.
Because the moment he signed the roommate application, everything somehow spiraled into somethingย wayyyyyย more complicated. Peace was all he wanted. That was all it was supposed to be. But then reality hit in a way he didn't calculate for, because he didn't knowโhe genuinely didn't knowโthat the roommate he'd been assigned wasย you, until the interview.
And the worst part was how his eyes kept betraying him. He'd look away too late, glance too long, get caught in places he shouldn't be looking at all.ย Your body,ย it was like how visible everything felt to him. Andย yeahโyour ass included.
God, you looked different. It was accumulation. Your armsโstronger, more defined, muscle sitting tight under your skin. Your back was broader, posture solid, like you were always mid-motion even when you were just standing there reaching for something in the kitchen. It made sense. You were an athlete. This was normal. Of course, you train, you look like that. That's just how bodies works.
Every interaction made it worse, not better. There was no adjustment period, no gradual easing into comfort, he was stuck being watched even when you weren't looking at him.
The day you walked into the living room and caught him sitting cross-legged on the floor, surrounded by scattered Lego pieces, he felt the spike of embarrassment that didn't fade. You didn't even say anything weird, just paused, looked, maybe a little curious. But to Jake, it meant too much.
Same with the time your eyes drifted over hisย Hot Wheelsย lined up on the shelf. It wasn't judgment, not really, but his brain filled in the gaps anyway.
And then the conversationsโif they could even be called that.ย Something as stupid as the water bill turned into a full-body experience for him. Words sticking, fingers twitching, shifting his weight like he couldn't find a stable position to stand in. He'd rehearse sentences in his head and still mess them up the second they came out. And every time, without fail, there was that lingering thought afterward:ย You thinks he's weird. Or worseโyou knows he's a loser.
No. People could think whatever they wanted; it didn't change anything... But this didn't sit the same way. Not when it came to you. Because for some reason, he didn't want you filing him away like that, reducing him to the guy sitting on the floor snapping LEGO pieces together or lining up Hot Wheels.ย There was more.
If he could just say it properly, without his words tripping over themselves, he could explain it. He could tell you about his grades, how he ranked near the top without making noise about it, how he could cook actual meals. He could show you something real.
But instead, all of that stayed stuck in his head, piling up into this silent, useless argument that never reached his mouth. And โwhy did it even matter enough for him to sit there mentally listing reasons like he had something to prove to you?!
"Wow,ย luckyย you."
Heeseung's mouth literally dropping open as Jake pointed toward the massive tarpulin hanging across campus with your face printed on it.
"She's my roommate."
Heeseung looked back at him, then at the tarpulin again. But Jake... Jake didn't react the same way. His posture straightened just a little. His expression shifted without him realizing it, mouth pulling into something that edged too close to prideโalmostย arrogant, like he had some kind of claim. He didn't even notice it happening. Didn't catch the way the idea of being linked to youโeven in something as basic as living in the same apartmentโmake him feelย good.
"So, did you two fuck?" a question that exactly the kind of thing Heeseung would throw out without thinking twice. And just like that, whatever expression Jake had dropped instantly.
"N-No, what theโ?!" Jake voice cracking slightly as his face heated up in seconds. The flush spread across his cheeks, down his neck, his brain short-circuiting in the worst way possible because his thoughts betrayed him, flashing something he didn't ask for. He physically flinched, hand coming up to smack the side of his own head like he could knock it out. "What the hell are you even saying?"
"I embarrassed myself because she caught me messing with Whitey," he added quickly as he shot Heeseung a glare, redirecting the conversation to something else. The robot sat unfinished in his mind.
Heeseung didn't miss a beat. "Okay," he snorted, shaking his head with a grin, "good to know you are never gonna get fucked by that girl."
Of course not.
You were intimidatingโstill intimidating in the exact same way you were the last time he saw you a year ago, except now it felt worse because you were closer. It wasn't just that you were attractive. It was the way it came with presence that made it hard to relax around you. Your eyes didn't help eitherโ too easy to get lost in if he looked too long. And that was the problem. He wanted to look, to hold it for more than a second, to prove to himself he could act normalโbut every time he tried, something in him pulled back too fast.
"Do you have a girlfriend?" You ask him too blunt as he just handle you the advance payment.
"H-huh?" His face went red almost instantly, color blooming across his cheeks as he fumbled with the fabric of his pajama pants, wiping his hands over and over. "IโI don't have..." he said quietly, trailing off as if the sentence itself embarrassed him.
Waitโwhy would you even ask that?ย Followed by another question.ย Are you... interested? Or just curious?ย That didn't make sense. There was no reason for you to be interested. He barely talked to you, barely functioned normally around you. So why ask? Unless it didn't mean anything. Unless he was reading into it again. It was random. You weren't even that close, barely past basic conversations....
Jake tried not to think about it, tried to force his attention onto anything else, but you cut straight through that fragile effort by suddenly starting another conversation, casually asking what you both should order for dinner while he adjusted Whitey. You were so fucking close. It is overwhelming, scrambling his thoughts.ย Oh fuck.ย You were too closeโit was going to make him lose his goddamn mind, and all he could think, over and over, was how you smelledโsweet, distracting,ย pretty, pretty, pretty.
He was barely breathing, eyes fixed somewhere over your shoulder like looking at you directly might short-circuit him. "Uh... I already ate," he repeated, voice dropping smaller.
"Oh."
Before you could say something, he stood abruptly, movement jerky, still refusing to meet your eyes as he pointed vaguely toward his room. "IโI need to, uh... I have something to do," he said, bowing slightly out of pure habit before retreating.
The moment the door shut behind him, Jake nearly let out a broken whine, his hands went straight to his hair, fingers gripping hard. He exhaled shakily, trying to calm himself, but it wasn't working. His dick was fucking hardโย it got fucking hard!
And the third time you initiated something, Jake swore he was probably seconds away from going completely brain dead. He'd been crouched over another half-disassembled robot that Heeseung had dropped off earlier. You appeared again, stepping into his space. Jake would never forget the way you set the ramen down beside him with those pretty smile, and how easily you started talking about your life like none of the tension from before had ever existed.
"Sometimes I wish I was smart instead of just... sport-inclined," you admitted with a half-laugh, slumping your shoulders for emphasis. "Like, what the hell am I supposed to do after I decide I'm done with volleyball?"
Jake wanted to respond. He wanted to tell you that being sport-inclined wasn't something lesser, that there was nothing wrong with it, nothing lacking or incomplete about who you were. He wanted to say he envied you, in a wayโyour strength, the way you moved through things without hesitating, how you seemed fearless and independent in ways he couldn't quite reach. He wanted to tell you that if you ever got tired of volleyball, there were still so many things waiting for you, paths you could take without losing yourselfโbut when he opened his mouth, nothing came out.
"I'm done for now," you said abruptly, when you notice he isn't talking, you clacked your chopsticks against the plastic before snapping the lid shut, forcing a smile that felt stiff on your face. You stood, shoved the ramen into the fridge with more force and retreated to your room, closing the door behind you.
Jake stayed exactly where he was, staring at nothing, andย again, he let out a frustrated exhale, dragging a hand down his face.
When you stopped talking to him, Jake felt it like something collapsing inward. The last time you asked him anything beyond the bare minimum was when he'd come out of the shower early, and you'd only glanced his way long enough to ask if he was done. And after that...ย nothing. You slipped back into your usual colder distant selfโonly asking about rent, keeping your eyes anywhere but on him, cutting off any chance for conversation before it could no even start.
"Well, what do you expect?" Heeseung scoffed from across the room, not even bothering to look up at first as he leaned back in his chair, one leg stretched out while he worked on programming the robot in front of himโBumble, Jake's old Grade 12 project that he'd decided to mess with again. "She's basically just talking to a wall, you want her to keep trying? You think you're that special?" He finally glanced over then, eyebrow raised, unimpressed.
"No! IโI understand her," Jake shot back quickly, his shoulders slumping almost immediately after as if the effort alone drained him. His hands fidgeted uselessly in his lap, fingers curling and uncurling as he struggled to keep his thoughts from tangling. "I just... I wish I could talk about things too... you know... like, actually say stuff... share..." His voice trailed off toward the end, shrinking.
"Booo,"ย Heeseung dragged out mockingly, not missing a beat as he tilted his head back with exaggerated disappointment. "Stop wishing and actually try for once. Jesus, it's not that deep." He flicked a small tool across the desk toward Jake, though it stopped short, clattering uselessly against the surface. "You're just making excuses at this point."
"Why would I?" Jake asked, stubborn in a way that felt more defensive than confident, his gaze dropping to the floor. "It's better this way."
Heeseung's eyebrow lifted slightly at that. And the truth was, Jake had alreadyย acceptedย itโaccepted that talking, is...ย super hardย . His social anxiety had settled into him so deeply that the people around him had just adapted, learned to expect less, learned not to wait for him to say anything. Sometimes he wished it wasn't like that, wished he could just... function normally, speak without overthinking every wordโbut wishing didn't change anything, and he knew it.
So who the hell was he kidding?ย Himself, apparently.
Because the moment he started working on improving Bumbleโadding a small camera, linking it directly to his phone so he could control what it saw and how it movedโhe found himself doing something he couldn't even justify. Sitting on his bed, phone in hand, staring at the screen like an idiot while waiting for the front door to open. It was 7:30 PM. You usually got home around that time. The second he heard the faint click of the lock, he straightened up instantly, heart kicking a little harder as his eyes locked onto the live feed.
The door opened, and there you wereโstepping inside, unaware and Jake immediately triggered the robot.
"Hi,"ย he said softly into his phone, knowing the word would come out through Bumble in that slightly distorted.
He stayed hidden where he was, safely out of sight, using the robot as a shield between him and you. On the screen, you paused, your expression shifting into confusion as you looked down at Bumble, clearly not suspecting anything, because why the hell would you? To you, it was just a small, harmless robotโnot him.
Jake let out a quiet, breathy giggle, biting down on his fist to keep himself from smiling too wide as he watched you respond. Sometimes you greeted it back, and other times you crouched down, kneeling in front of Bumble as your fingers gently brushed over its surface. And every time you did, you ended up looking straight into the camera without realizing itโyour eyes filling his screen so suddenly it made his chest tighten.ย God, your eyes were so fucking beautiful.ย You were so beautiful.ย He kicked his feet lightly against the edge of his bed, barely containing the energy buzzing through him, his grin hidden behind his hand as he watched you a little longer than he probably should have.
One time, Jake watched you through his screen as you stepped into your room and quietly closed the door behind you. He lingered there for a moment, thumb hovering over the controls before he slowly guided Bumble away, sending it rolling through the hallway in slow, absent circles.
He kept moving, turning corners, drifting past furniture with no real direction. But then your door creaked open again, and Jake reacted instantly, fingers tightening as he jerked the controls, turning Bumble around so fast it almost tipped before he steadied it and followed you.
The movement was too uncoordinatedโhe wasn't paying attention to anything except youโand his phone slipped right out of his hand, dropping straight onto his face with a sharp, painful smack.
"Nghhโ!" he choked out, the impact rattling his teeth as one of the brackets on his braces snapped loose, sending a jolt of pain through his jaw. But he barely had time to even react, because the screen was still on,ย angledย just enoughย for himย to see.
You were in the kitchen now, dressed in short shorts and a loose crop top that rode up just enough when you moved, exposing more than he'd ever seen before.
You bent slightly over the counter, focused on your phone while absentmindedly eating snacks, completely unaware of the tiny camera pointed in your direction. From that angleโheย could see the curve of your body so clearly it made his head spin, the fabric of your shorts riding up just enough to reveal the soft outline of your ass.
"No..." he breathed, his chest tightening as his eyes stayed glued to the screen.
His gaze flickered downward for a second, and that only made it worse, because his body had already reacted before he could stop it. His dick was hard.ย Fucking hard.
"Noโno, no..." he muttered under his breath, squeezing his eyes shut for a second like it might erase the image that was already stuck in his mind. His face throbbed where the phone had hit him, his teeth aching from the loose bracket he knew would cost a shit ton to fix, but none of that compared to the way his body refused to calm down.
"I'm sorry," he whined under his breath, almost desperate as he grabbed his phone again with shaky hands. He didn't even look properly this timeโjust caught a brief, blurry glimpse of you still there on the screen before he fumbled with the controls and shut Bumble off completely. The feed cut to black instantly, leaving him staring at his own reflection instead, wide-eyed and flushed, breathing unevenly.
Jake's hands moved quickly, tugging his pajama pants down in a rush. He hadn't even bothered with boxers, and the cool air hitting his skin only made everything feel more intense than it already was. His toes curled against the sheets as his hand wrapped around himself, eyes squeezing shut like that might dull the image burned into his headโbut it didn't, not even a little.
If anything, it made it worse, the memory replaying in fragments, the way you bent slightly, the way your body looked so fuckingย sexy.
His breathing turned uneven until it was harder to control as his grip tightened on his cock. The thought of grabbing his phone again, to open Bumble,ย tempting. But it feels morally wrong, of course he has a conscience!
A quiet whine slipping out as the image of you catching himโactually realizing what he'd been doing with Bumbleโflashed through his head.
"Oh God," he breathed, the words breaking unevenly as his stomach clenched hard at the thought. Why is he getting off at the thought of being caught?! Now he really felt like a fucking weirdo.
His hand stilled for a second before he reached blindly for his phone, unlocking it with clumsy fingers as he opened his messages with Heeseung. His friend had always had this habitโsending pictures of you from games, from practice, from random moments on the court. Jake used to ignore them, but now, he was actually looking, thumb dragging slowly across the screen as he took them in one by one, most of them taken by sports journalists and reposted on the university page.
He kept scrolling faster now, a restless feeling building under his skin as his patience thinned, his hands are getting faster until his eyes landed on one that made him stop completely.
A selfie.ย He didn't know where the hell Heeseung got it, but there you were, up close, biting lightly onto your medal with a small, tired smile, sweaty and hair slightly messy like it had been taken right after a game. Jake stared at it longer than he should have, his chest rising and falling unevenly, his fingers working through the tip, spreading the precum. God. He wish you could also bite him, everywhere, his neck, his lips, his nipplโย biteย WHAT?!
His head tipped back slightly, eyes fluttering for a second as he exhaled through his teeth. "Haaa..." he whispered again, his gaze locked onto the screen as everything else faded out around him.
After a few uneven breaths and one last helpless glance at your photo, his body finally gave in to the overwhelming tension he'd been holding onto for too long, his dick keep twitching as it spurts continous cum on his stomach.
He was slumped there in silence, staring at the screen like he didn't know what to do with himself anymore.
heeseung | lol why'd youย โค๏ธย react now to the picture i've sent 2 months ago????
heeseung | that sweaty picture haha nice taste๐
heeseung | you're welcome
Jake's entire face flushed instantly, the heat crawling up from his neck to his ears. It felt wrong, no it's actually wrong! You and him barely even talked, what the fuck is he thinking?! Jake let out a frustrated groan before tossing his phone across the room without even looking, the device hitting the floor near his desk.
It's just attraction.ย You were prettyโthat wasn't something he could deny, not even if he triedโand his body reacting like that... it wasn't unusual, not really. He knew that. He knew it was a normal response!
Jake grew restless as the days dragged on, a quiet agitation settling into him that he couldn't shake no matter how hard he tried to distract himself. He kept checking the time without realizing it, his focus slipped whenever he tried to work on anything else. But also,
it didn't still change the fact that he is looking forward to oneย specificย moment every night.
Well, greeting you through Bumble had turned into a routine.
But one day, that routine cracked without warning. The second Bumble rolled into the living room and the camera adjusted, Jake's small, anticipatory smile faded instantly, his entire expression dropping. You were sitting there, not moving the way you usually did, not reacting the way he expected.
You were crying.ย His hands lifted slightly toward the screen without thinking, fingers hovering uselessly in the air,ย as ifย he could do anything at all from where he was.
You leaned back against the sofa, your body sliding down slowly until you were sitting on the floor, shoulders slumped, exhaustion written all over you. "Everyone has someone," you whispered. "Why... am I such a fucking loser?" you let out a short laugh after that.
Jake just sat there on his bed, staring at his phone.ย He watched you like this without knowing how to respond.
He wanted to tell youย it was okay, that you weren't whatever you thought you were in that moment, that you didn't have to sit there alone like that. He wanted to apologize tooโfor all the times you tried to talk to him and he shut down, for how absent he must've seemed, how useless he felt now thinking back on it.
Most of all, he wanted to tell you thatย you had him.
Action speaks louder than words, right? If you thought you were lonely, then he'd prove you wrongโnot by saying it, because he clearly couldn't, but byย doingย something, anything that might reach you in a way his words never could. So he started small, practical, something he could control. If you were hungry, then he'd cook.
"IโI always... uh... cook food f-for dinner..." he managed to say when you walked in. His heart was pounding so loudly it made it hard to hear himself think. He saw the way you paused mid-step before turning your head just slightly, not fully facing him. Jake's gaze dropped instantly, locking somewhere near the floor, his fingers twitching uselessly at his side.
"I-If you want to eat," he added quickly, the words stumbling over each other in his rush to get them out before he lost the nerve entirely, "uh... it's on the table..." His voice faded at the end. He didn't wait for your response and before you had the chance to say anything, he turned and walked off quickly.
By the time he reached his room, he was practically speed-walking, shutting the door behind him a little too fast before leaning back against it with an exhale. "No..." he muttered under his breath, running a hand through his hair as he tried to calm himself down, his pulse still racing from something as simple as speaking to you. He paced once, twice, restless energy buzzing under his skin, before grabbing his phone. The familiar motion steadied him a little as he connected to Bumble again, pulling up the camera feed with shaky anticipation.
The moment the screen lit up and he saw you sitting at the table, actually eating eagerly, without hesitationโsomething in his chest loosened all at once. A wide smile spread across his face. He leaned forward slightly, eyes fixed on the screen. He had spent hours researching what athletes usually ate, scrolling through articles and videos, and seeing you enjoying it without knowing any of that, made it feelย worth itย in a way he hadn't expected.
Jake kept cooking for you after that. Sometimes you came home later than usual, the house already dark and settled, and he'd just leave the food covered on the table without saying anything. And every morning, when he stepped into the kitchen and saw the empty tupperware neatly rinsed and the dishes cleaned and set aside, something in him eased just enough to carry him through the day.
"Sooo, you're not actually talking? That's lame," Heeseung said one afternoon, watching Jake from across the scattered parts on the floor. "You're seriously not even gonna try talking to her?" he added, tilting his head slightly, like he was waiting for Jake to say something less disappointing.
Jake paused mid-motion, the screwdriver hovering awkwardly in his hand as he stared down at the loose panel he'd been working on. "Uh..." he started, hesitating as his eyes flicked up briefly toward Heeseung before dropping back down just as quickly. He shifted his shoulders in a small shrug. "I think it's okay...? People don't need conversations all the time," he said.
Heeseung made a face immediately before he pushed himself forward and sat down next to Jake on the floor. "Are you even hearing yourself?" he asked, brows raised as he nudged one of the scattered tools aside with his foot. "You'd rather just... what, keep cooking for her like some silent fucking ghost? That's it?" He leaned back on his hands, glancing at Jake from the side. "Why don't you try something normal for once? Like eating together at the table?"
"I-It's not needed," Jake replied quickly, a bit too defensive as his grip tightened slightly around the screwdriver. "What are you even pointing at?"
"I swear that girl likes you," Heeseung said, sitting up straighter now. "You literally told me she asked if you had a girlfriend, right? People don't just ask that shit for no reason. She wouldn't even bring it up if she wasn't interested."
Jake just stared at him, his mind spinning in slow, uneven circles as he tried to process what Heeseung was saying. It didn't line up cleanly in his head. His lips parted slightly like he was about to respond, but nothing came out, instead, he reached for the water bottle beside him, unscrewing the cap just to have something to do.
"For you to even sit at the same table, you need to ask her to eat dinner with you," Heeseung continued. "And to do that without fucking it up, you need courageโandย a script. Yeah, a script," he added, nodding to himself. His fingers tapped lightly against his knee as he spoke, already thinking steps ahead while Jake was still stuck at the starting point.
Jake paused mid-sip, the bottle hovering awkwardly in the air as he slowly turned his head to look at him, eyes narrowing just slightly in confusion. Heeseung, meanwhile, looked completely serious.
"Let's practice some, okay?" he said, already shifting closer. "But when you say it, don't mumble like thatโsay it straight, no stuttering, andย looook..." he dragged the word out, lifting a finger for emphasis, "at theย person's eyesย when you're talking. That part is important."
Jake swallowed slowly, nodding once. He lifted the bottle again, taking another quick drink but then Heeseung reached out suddenly, grabbing Jake by the shoulder and pulling him just enough to face him directly. "Practice it with me," he said, eyes locking onto Jake's with zero hesitation.
Jake barely lasted a second.
The moment their eyes met, something in him short-circuited completely. The water he'd just taken in stayed in his mouth for a split second too long before it came spilling out in the worst possible wayโright onto Heeseung's face.
"You fucker," Heeseung hissed, he wiped his face with the back of his hand, water dripping down his jaw and onto his shirt. He lunged forward, grabbing Jake by the collar and immediately hooking an arm around his neck, choking him.
The next day, Jake decided he should've just ignored everything Heeseung said. All of it. The advice, the assumptions, the stupid "script"โit all felt ridiculous now that he was actually thinking about it on his own. It wasn't necessary. He didn't need to prove anything, didn't need to suddenly change how things were going between you and him. Things were... working, in their own quiet way. He had his routine, you had yours, and there was no risk of him messing it up as long as he didn't push it any further.
He exhaled slowly, dragging a hand down his face as he tried to settle into that thought again.
Sigh.
You were so fuckingย pretty.
He clicked his tongue softly in frustration, shifting his weight where he stood in the kitchen. Maybe...ย maybeย inviting you to eat togetherย wouldn'tย be that bad. He swallowed, his chest tightening slightly as he stared down at the food he'd already prepared, his fingers flexing at his side like he was trying to gather whatever courage Heeseung kept talking about.
"H-Hey."
The word came out before he could stop it. You had just gotten back from practice, heading straight toward your room without really looking around. Jake set the plate down carefully on the table.ย Eye contact, he remembered. Right. His shoulders tensed slightly as he forced himself to look up when you paused.
And for a moment, he actually held your gaze.ย Reallyย held it.
The way your eyes locked onto his without hesitation, clear and focused in a way that made his chest tighten instantly. You were even prettier up close! And just like that, it became too much. His gaze broke, darting off to the side as his composure slipped, the brief confidence he had collapsing under the weight of it.
"Let'sโI-I cooked dinner," he said quickly, the words tumbling over each other as he gestured vaguely toward the table, his hand a little stiff. "There's a-a lot, so l-let's share."
The moment you sat down and really talk. All of Jake nervousness and loud mind begun to be quiet.
Ohโand it really... feltย nice.
Talking to you about random thingsโmusic, mostlyโlike Cigarettes After Sex, of all things, wasn't something he ever pictured himself doing out loud, but it just... happened. And then the next day, you came back holding a bottle of chocolate almond milk, setting it down in front of him, and he just stared at it for a second, genuinely thrown off. For him?! You bought it...ย for him?ย there was no wayโyou knew his favorite drink without him ever saying it!
And fuck, you were cute too. In the little things he kept catching himself noticing more and more. The way you reacted to food, especially the ones he cooked, wasn't something you tried to hide or tone down, and he liked that more than he expected. You weren't picky, didn't hesitate, didn't pretendโyou just ate, genuinely, like you enjoyed it without overthinking it. Andย thatย smile you always had while eating.ย Damnnn. You were cute. You were really fucking pretty.
And somehow, without either of you pointing it out, things started to settle into something new. You and him eating together when your schedules lined up, sitting across from each other at the table. Conversations came easier now, sometimes you'd watch movies after, sometimes you'd just sit there, talking about nothing in particular. But most of the time, it circled back to the same thingโeating. You ate, and he cooked. Over and over again. He cooked, cooked, and kept cooking.
Well... of course, with everything he'd been doing lately, someone was bound to question it eventuallyโeven if he hadn't properly questioned it himself yet. From the outside, the things he was doing maybe it didn't look that simple.
"And you're doing all of that because...?" Heeseung asked.
"Because... I'm a... good roommate?" Jake replied almost immediately, the words coming out before he had time to think them through.
"You mean you're doing all of that because... you want to be a good roommate?" Heeseung repeated, his eyebrow lifting even higher as he stared at him. Jake glanced at him briefly, then looked away, his gaze drifting upward like he might find a better answer somewhere above them.
"...Yes?" he said again.
"Dude?" Heeseung's voice jumped, he straightened up, staring at Jake like he'd just said something completely insane. "What do you mean you cook for her all the time, talk with her, watch movies with herโjust because you want to be a good roommate? You're literally leading her on."
"Leading her on... on what?" Jake asked, his brows pulling together slightly, the confusion in his voice genuine as he turned back to look at him.
"Leading her on into thinking you like her," Heeseung shot back immediately, his hands coming up as he gestured. "Do you not like her at all?"
...
Jake didn't answer right away. His thoughts slowed, circling around the word. It felt too big, too defined. He knew you were attractive, that wasn't even a question. You were cool, confident in ways he couldn't replicate, and there was a part of him that looked up to you without fully realizing it at first.ย Butย stepping past that, into something moreย specificโit didn't come easily to him.
Was he actually leading you on?
Suddenly he remember his last relationship back in high school. The awkwardness, the pressure, the way everything had fallen apart in a way that left him feeling small, like he'd completely mishandled something he wasn't ready for in the first place. He remembered the expectations he couldn't meet, the quiet disappointment that followedโand how it all ended with him promising himself heย wouldn'tย put himself, or anyone else, through that again.
Maybe that's why he rejected your invite to watch your finals game.
At the time, it felt like the right decision. It was better this way, it would stop you from expecting anything from him, stop things from becoming something more complicated than he could handle. If you didn't hope for anything, you wouldn't be disappointed.
Later that day, after class, when he stopped by to grab food for what he half-considered a small, quiet way to celebrate for you anyway, he saw theย ticket. Crumpled in the trashcan . Jake paused mid-step, the takeout bag hanging loosely in his hand as he stared at it.
And just like that, the certainty he'd been holding onto didn't feel so...solid anymore.
What the hell was he even doing? Building you stupid little lego flowers, cooking for you almost every day, sitting across from you and actually talkingโeven if it took everything in him just to keep the words coming. What was the point of all that? What was he trying to get out of it? Good roommate? That sounds ridiculous!
A good roommate remembers details.
Because Jake remembered thingsโtoo many things. He hadn't cared much about sports before, never bothered to look into it beyond surface-level noise, but you... you were something else.
You were everywhere.
Articles, photos, interviewsโyour name kept showing up in places he didn't expect. A second-year student from Basic Education, sureโbut that wasn't the part that stuck. It wasย everythingย else. The way sports journalists talked about you like you were somethingย unpredictable, something hard to pin down. The libero who didn't just receive but shut down plays,ย youย who managed to block one of the most well-known spikers from another university! And your high school team? Representing the region at nationals!
Because you never talked about it.
Not once. You never bragged and yet there it was, laid out in front of him in article after article. MVP awards, recognition, comments about your presence on the courtโhow your looks alone distracted opponents, how your movements were unpredictable enough to throw off entire plays, how you stayed focused on keeping the ball alive no matter what. With the school reputation, you were often called as aย Decelis Vampireย with your great speed and agility. It didn't sound like the same person who sat across from him eating quietly, smiling over the food he made!
Sports were complicated but you?
You were so fucking cool.
That's why he felt so fucking dumbโso unbelievably dumb for letting things get this far without stopping himself sooner. Every small thing he did stacked up until it stopped being simple and started turning into this mess he didn't know how to handle. Heeseung had warned him and Jake brushed it off as if it didn't apply to himโbut now it all circled back.
Living with you, being around you like this, letting things blurโit created tension he wasn't equipped to deal with. Because if he let himself go any further, if he actually gave in to those impulsesโto the urge of wanting more, to get closer, to touch, to kiss, to do things he knew he wouldn't be able to take backโhe'dย regretย it. He knew he would.
So avoiding you felt like the only right decision left after having sex. He knows it wasn't fair but Jake has been good at avoiding things, especially confrontation, because he knew how those situations ended for him.
But he underestimated you.
Because of course you weren't just going to let it sit like that. Of course you were going to push, to corner him when he thought he could quietly slip away from it. And that was exactly the kind of situation he wasn't ready to faceโthe kind where there was no escape, no easy way out.
"Talk to me, fuck it!" you snapped suddenly, your voice breaking as it rose. Jake flinched hard, his shoulders tensing as the sound hit him that made his thoughts scatter even more. Why would you do that? Why would you push him into something he clearly couldn't handle?
Because the truth wasโhe didn't even fullyย understandย what he felt.
"Sorry... Jake... please," you said again, your voice dropping, almost pleading in a way that made something twist in his chest. Your hands were still there to hold onto him but he moved them gently, guided them off him.
"I like you too much, is that wrong?" you asked.
Yeah.
It is wrong.
Youย shouldn'tย feel that way about someone like him, not when he knew he couldn't give you what you deserved. Jake didn't deserve you.
"S-sorry..." he said, shaking his head slightly, his gaze fixed somewhere else, anywhere but your face. "IโI... I don't think I feel the same way, that's why IโI feel guilty... about what happened... sorry."
That's what he felt.
That's what he told himself he felt.
The sound of plastic hitting the floor suddenly made him cut through his thoughts. You got those forย him.
And before he could even reactโbefore he could say anythingโyou were already moving, already turning away and walking out, leaving everything behind.
Jake stood there, frozen, staring at the scattered toys on the floor. His chest felt tight, his thoughts loud and empty at the same time, a heavy stone settling deep in his gut as though he wants to vomit.
Because it felt like his world just... crashed. And the worst part? It felt like he had justย liedย straight through his teeth...Even though he knew, somewhere deep down, he had tried to be honest.
"You're an asshole." Heeseung didn't even hesitate when he said it. Jake clenched his teeth immediately, his jaw tightening as his eyes shut, trying to ignore everything around him. But it didn't help. All he could see was your tear-streaked face and it kept replaying, over and over again.
Yeah. He knew.
He'd known the moment the words left his mouth, the moment you dropped those stupid fucking toys and walked out without looking back. Guilt stayed in his chest, making it hard to think straight without it twisting everything. What the hell was he supposed to do now? He told himself he was avoiding problems, preventing something worse from happeningโbut it felt like he just created something worse instead.
Maybe he should just switch buildings again. He was ashamed. He hurt you, badly, and he didn't even mean toโbut intent didn't change shit.
But thenโ
If he left... who the hell would be there for you?
Who would take care of you in the small ways he'd gotten used to? Who would cook, who would notice the little things, who would sit across from you at the table? Would you just find another roommate? Probably. Someone better. Someone who could actually talk without shutting down, someone who wouldn't say the wrong thing at the worst possible moment... What the fuck is he thinking right now?
Did he... actually like you?
Jake frowned slightly, his brows pulling together. Did he like you because you remembered something as small as his favorite milk without him ever saying it out loud? Because you talked a lot, filling spaces he usually left empty, and somehow that didn't annoy him the way it should've? Was it because you were pretty and because people looked at you like you were something hard to reach? Or was it the way you balanced thatโhow you could be intimidating on the court, but still soft in these quiet, unguarded moments he got to see?
None of it felt... enough.
Or maybe it felt too scattered, too shallow when he tried to list it out like that. Because liking someone was supposed to beย deeperย than this,ย wasn't it?
"Hi! We are from Decelis Sport Management! We're handing out flyers to support the Women's Volleyball teamโthey're leaving the city next month!" A small group stood near the cafeteria entrance, passing out glossy flyers one by one. "If you want to be part of the VIP section with the Decelis Band, feel free to stop by our office!" one of them added, extending a flyer toward a passing student who barely hesitated before taking it.
Jake paused mid-motion, his hand hovering over his notebook as his attention shifted without him meaning to. His eyes locked onto the flyer in someone else's handโthe bold colors, the team name printed across it. Across from him, Heeseung noticed immediately, his brows lifting as he followed Jake's line of sight, then slowly leaned back in his chair, expression flattening.
"What?" Heeseung said, lips twitching just slightly as he tilted his head. "Interested in watching?"
"H-Huh?" Jake snapped out of it quickly, his head turning toward Heeseung as if he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't. He looked back down at his blueprint right after. "No..." he muttered.
"So are we watching Decelis vs. Isabella again?" a nearby student chimed in, leaning over slightly to look at the flyer with interest. "You gonna buy for Day 3?"
"Of course Decelis is making it to Day 3, have youย seenย their defense?" his friend shot back immediately, already slinging his bag over his shoulder as he stood up. "Come on, let's just grab tickets for all three days now before they sell out." He didn't even hesitate, already walking off with the flyer in hand.
Jake stayed quiet. His eyes flickered up again, catching another glimpse of the flyers being passed around. He doesn't care. He doesn't care.
He found himself standing in front of the Sports Management office later that day, stuck in the middle of a long, slow-moving line. Jake kept his head slightly lowered, shoulders tense, eyes avoiding anyone who might recognize him. Because if Heeseung found out about this he'd never hear the end of it. Probably get smacked in the head too.
"What am I doing..." he muttered under his breath, shifting his weight awkwardly as the line moved forward inch by inch.
To distract himself, Jake glanced toward the bulletin board nearby, his eyes scanning over the countless posters and printed articles pinned up in messy layers. Interviews, game highlights, team featuresโit was all there. Huh Yunjinโthe captain. Aeri Uchinaga. Ning Yizhuo โ middle blockers. Faces he'd seen in passing, names mentioned in articles he skimmed through,ย most of itโ
Most of it was you.
Photos of you mid-play, interviews where your expression looked calmer, more composed than he'd ever seen in person. It filled the space in a way that made it impossible to ignore, impossible to pretend you were just... normal, just his roommate. Jake stared longer, his chest tightening with every second he didn't look away.
Oh God.
Jake likes you.
The thoughts slammed into him, soย hardย and disorienting, like someone had cracked him across the head without warningโ No... something did actuallyย hitย his head.
"โOh! S-sorry!" a guy with glasses and messy brown hair blurted out, his voice pitching up in panic as his bag swung awkwardly and smacked straight into Jake's head, his hand coming up instinctively to rub the spot as he blinked a few times. The guy looked mortified, clutching his strap.
Every weak explanation he used to convince himself otherwiseโit all crumbled in that moment. Because no matter how much he tried to deny it, no matter how many times he told himself it wasn't that deep.
Itย allย fell apart the second he showed up here, standing in line like an idiot, pretending this was just curiosity.
It all fell apart the second he decided to go to your game, even though he didn't understand shit about volleyball, even though he had no real reason to be thereโexcept you.
And it completely shattered the moment he saw you cry.
It fucking hurt.
"Y-You're bleeding?! H-How is that possible?!" the guy suddenly stammered, his voice jumping in panic as he pointed straight at Jake's face. Jake blinked, confused for a second before lifting his hand again, only now noticing the faint smear of red against his fingers. His brows pulled together slightly, still slow to react, while the guy behind him gasped loudly, grabbing onto his friend's shoulder.
"W-What the hell?! Did you put this in my bag, Keonho?!" the guy who hit him earlier yelped, frantically unzipping his bag and pulling out a chunk of stone that definitely didn't belong there. The guy turned to the other boy beside him, who immediately started denying it just as loudly. The two of them spiraled into a messy argument right there in line, drawing attention from a few others.
His focus had already drifted.
His eyes moved past them, scanning the rest of the line, taking in the small details he hadn't noticed before. People were talking excitedly aboutย youโyour last game, your plays, your reputation. The way they spoke about you wasn't just any casual conversation. It was admiration.
There were so many people here for you.
People who weren't awkward. People who didn't hesitate. People who would actually step forward instead of pulling back.
Jake's gaze drifted back to the boy in front of him, still panicking over the situation, completely unaware of the way Jake was staring right through him. Because even then, his attention wasn't fully thereโ
There were people better than him.
And wasn't that what you deserved?
Someone who would take care of you properly, not just in small, quiet ways but openly, confidently. Someone who would love you without second-guessing every word, someone who would cherish you without needing to hide behind half-efforts.
If you found someone like that... he'd step back.
He'd admire you from a distance, the way everyone else here probably already did, without expecting anything in return. And yeah, if that person hurt you, it would fucking hurt him too. But if that person treated you rightโif they gave you everything... That would destroy him.
Because deep down, he knewโ
He could've been that person too.
Noโfuck that. He wasn't going to just stand there and accept that kind of ending! That felt worseโway worseโthan anything else he'd been afraid of. Now that Jake knew, now that the feeling had a name, there was no way he could pretend it didn't exist anymore. Oh my Godโhe liked you.
Jake let out a sudden laugh, sound like a little unhinged as he stepped forward without thinking. The boy in front of him barely had time to react before Jake grabbed his shoulder, gripping it, his eyes a little too bright. "Thank you," he said, smiling wide in a way that didn't quite match the situation, ignoring the faint line of blood still trailing down the side of his face. "Fuckโthank you!"
The two guys stared at him like he'd lost itโandย maybe he had,ย a littleย โ Before they could even process what was happening, he reached out, snatched the ticket straight from the boy's hand who he saw at the ID was named as Juhoon, and stepped back.
He pushed through the line without looking back, ignoring the confused voices behind him.
Jake wasn't suddenly different.
He still struggled to talk. Still froze at the wrong moments. Still didn't know how to say things the way he meant them.
And even if he didn't know how to say it yet, even if the words never came out rightโhe wasn't going to just disappear and let things end like that. He'd have to face you again, one way or another, and deal with whatever came with it.
Not perfectly.
Butย honestlyโthis time,ย for real.
"Why is there always some kind of event in Decelis? And why the hell are we attending another seminar?" you muttered under your breath with clear irritation as you shifted your weight in line. The hallway outside the Audio Visual Room felt suffocating, packed too tight with bodies and noise, the air barely moving as heat clung stubbornly to your skin. You closed your eyes for a second, exhaling sharply through your nose, trying to ignore the way your shirt stuck to your back and how every inch of space felt invaded. Students around you fanned themselves with whatever they hadโfolders, papers, even their handsโbut it barely helped. "For what?" you added under your breath, more to yourself than anyone else, your patience already running thin.
"Hey! Hey!"
You cracked one eye open at the familiar voice, already knowing who it was before you even turned your head. Karina stood a few feet away in the opposite line, somehow managing to look energized despite the heat, waving at you like she hadn't just walked into a human oven. Your lines moved in opposite directions, slowly dragging both of you closer until you met halfway. You gave her a lookโhalf disbelief, half annoyanceโbecause honestly, how the hell was she still that cheerful in this kind of weather?
"Did you see Ningning at the end of the line?" she asked immediately.
You blinked at her, unimpressed. "What kind of question is that? It sounds like we're not seeing each other later for training or something," you shot back with sarcasm as you wiped at the sweat gathering near your temple. Your mood had already dipped, and she wasn't helping.
Karina just laughed, completely unfazed, pointing at your face before pulling out her small turbo fan and aiming it straight at you. The sudden blast of air hit your skin instantly. "Come on, smile!" she teased, her grin widening as she watched your expression soften just a bit. "We're heading to Santiago next week! Aren't you excited?!"
You made a face at that, forcing a weak smile that didn't quite reach your eyes, mostly because the heat was still unbearable and your patience was already gone. Before you could say anything else, your lines started moving again, pulling you apart just as quickly as you'd met. The cool air from her fan disappeared instantly, leaving you with nothing but the same suffocating warmth. You huffed again, this time breathing through your mouth as you tilted your head back slightly, trying to catch whatever little air you could.
"Oh myโhi! Heyโ! That's the legendary vampire of Decelis!"
You groaned quietly, dragging a hand down your face as you already knew exactly who that was before even looking. Turning your head slightly, you spotted Ningning, Giselle, and Winter near the edge of the other line, all of them way too loud, way too energetic for this kind of environment. They waved like they hadn't seen you in years, calling out just enough to grab attention from people nearby.
"What the fuck did you all take to have that kind of energy?" you muttered under your breath as you stepped closer when your lines aligned again. Ningning immediately reached out, offering you a pack of gummy bears.
"The weather's so nice, what do you mean?!" Ningning said, completely serious, which only made you stare at her harder. "We saw the band earlierโI'm excited to see Karina do her serve with them!"
"D-E-C-E-L-I-S! GO! GO! GO! GO!" Winter and Giselle suddenly broke into the university chant, and completely unbothered by the stares they were getting. You looked at all three of them with a flat, unimpressed expression, not even trying to match their energy.
"Come on, have a little life! Fix your face!" Winter said, pointing directly at you before reaching over to wipe the sweat from your forehead. "What if someone confesses to you and you look like that? They'll remember that face forever."
You scoffed lightly, brushing her hand away as your line started moving again, pulling you forward inch by inch with the rest of the crowd. "Then they should've picked a better time," you muttered, rolling your eyes as the heat continued to cling to you. By the time you finally reached the doors of the AVR, your patience was hanging by a thread. But the second you stepped inside, the cool air hit you all at once and you almost groaned from relief. You and your classmates didn't waste time, quickly settling at the back near the AC unit, claiming the best spot before anyone else could. It took a few long, dragging minutes before the seminar actually started.
You leaned your face into your palm, elbow pressed against the armrest as you stared blankly toward the front of the room. The spokesperson clicked through slides that looked painfully dull, filled with text that didn't even try to be engaging. Around you, the quiet wasn't peaceful, broken occasionally by soft whispers or the very obvious sound of someone snoring a few seats away. Your eyelids started to droop slightly, blinking slower as your attention slipped further away from whatever was being said. Your thoughts drifted elsewhereโlike food. What would they even have after training later? Something decent, hopefully. Or maybe not. Then your mind jumped again, landing on what Karina said earlierโSantiago.ย Meals. You wondered what they'd serve there, silently hoping it wouldn't be bland, dry, or just straight-up disappointing. You missed good food. Real food. You exhaled quietly. God, you were so fucking bored.
"I guess all of us believe in horoscopes and luck, aren't we?" the spokesperson's voice cut through your thoughts. There was a scattered response from the audienceโsome murmurs, a few half-hearted repliesโand she let out a small chuckle like she expected it. "I see some of us don't..."
You didn't move, your expression unchanged as you stared forward, barely processing the question.
"I guess we can say that fortune happens for a reason," she went on, gesturing lightly with her hands as she paced a little across the front. "It doesn't necessarily mean it's bad, right? Some people believe that fortune favors good people, or that you have to do certain things to gain luck..." She paused briefly, her smile softening just a bit. "But sometimes, what we call bad luck or misfortuneโit's just a way of letting us make mistakes."
She let out a small breath, her expression calm as she looked over the room. "Because what is a person," she added, "without flaws or mistakes?"
God, this is so fucking boring. You shifted in your seat, jaw tightening slightly as you stared at the front, not even pretending to listen anymore. Your stomach twisted faintlyโnot even out of hunger at this point, but just the need to do something else. So you stood up, already preparing a half-assed excuse about needing to pee, not even caring if it sounded convincing. But instead of just letting you slip out quietly, one of the organizers immediately stepped in, lowering their voice as they gestured toward the side. "You can use the bathroom backstage," they said politely. You blinked at them, unimpressed.ย What the fuck?ย Why was everything so damn controlled here?
You let out a quiet huff, resisting the urge to argue as you turned and made your way toward the indicated path. The walk felt longer than it should've, your footsteps muted against the flooring as you passed behind the curtains, the noise from the seminar dulling slightly the further you went. You scratched your head absentmindedly, shoulders a little tense as you caught one of the organizers briefly watching you pass. You met their gaze for a second, giving them a look that saidย yeah, I'm actually going to the bathroom, relax,ย before looking away again. It felt stupid, the whole thingโlike even stepping out for a second needed supervision.
The moment you pushed past the curtain into the backstage area, the atmosphere shifted. It was quieter here, less suffocating, the hum of equipment replacing the droning voice from the seminar. You immediately reached for your phone, already opening your messages and texting Karina without hesitationโhow many fucking hours is this seminar again?ย Your thumbs moved quickly. You leaned against the wall, exhaling sharply as your thoughts spiraled again. Luck. Fortune. Fate. Why were people so obsessed with that shit?It just felt repetitive. Empty. You'd been unlucky most of your lifeโso what, was that the universe teaching you something? Letting you "grow"? You almost scoffed at your own thoughts.
"O-Oh."
The voice came out of nowhere that make you freeze mid-thought. Your body stiffened instantly, your head turning slightly to the side as your heart picked up faster than you wanted it to.
Jake was sitting near the technical setup, half-hidden behind equipment, like he'd been there the whole time and you just didn't notice.
"H-Hi," you said quickly, forcing your tone to sound casual, like your chest wasn't suddenly tight for no reason. What the fuck was wrong with you? You already knew how this went. You liked himโfine. But he didn't like you back. He made that clear. So why the hell was your heart still reacting like this? It was annoying! You looked at him for a second too long before forcing your gaze away, but it didn't stop your brain from noticing everything anywayโhis messy brown hair, the way his glasses sat slightly crooked, those wide eyes that never seemed to know where to settle, his lips pressed together. Even the way his oversized white shirt sat under that black jacketโit all just... fit in a way that pissed you off.
You huffed quietly, trying to steady yourself as you pointed vaguely toward the other side. "I was about to use the bathroom," you said. "You part of the organizers?"ย Why the fuck were you even talking?ย You should've just walked!
"Uh... yeah..." Jake replied, eyes flickering toward you before immediately darting away again. "The whole Engineering department... we're volunteering." His words came out uneven, like he wasn't fully confident in them, and for a brief second, both of you glanced at each otherโ
โand looked away at the same time.
"Ah..." you responded, as you dropped your gaze back to your phone, your thumb moving aimlessly across the screen just to have something to do. You weren't even reading anythingโjust scrolling, unlocking, locking it againโanything to avoid looking at him for too long. The silence stretched awkwardly between you, uncomfortable in a way that made your shoulders tense slightly. You could still feel his presence there, just a few steps away, like it was pressing in on you even without him saying anything.
"D-Do you need a-anything more?" he asked, his voice hesitant, uneven, like he wasn't even sure if he should be speaking at all.
You let out a quiet sigh, shaking your head quickly without looking up. "No," you replied shortly, already done with whatever this interaction was supposed to be. There wasn't anything left to sayโat least, not anything you were willing to entertain right now. So you slipped your phone into your pocket, turning slightly toward the curtain again, reaching for the fabric as you prepared to head back into the AVR. Walking away was always easier.
"W-Wait, please."
You paused, your fingers tightened slightly around the curtain as you stopped, your back still facing him, your body going still even as your thoughts immediately tensed. Shocked by the sudden call.
"I-Iโ..." he started, his voice catching on itself, like the words refused to come out properly. You heard the faint rustling of paper behind you, something unfolding, shifting in his hands. Slowly, you turned your head, then your body, just enough to look back.
Jake stood there, holding a folded piece of paper that he was now struggling to keep steady. His hands were shakingโactually shakingโas he tried to open it properly, his other hand repeatedly wiping against his pants like they wouldn't stop sweating. He looked... off. Nervous in a way that felt more intense than usual, like he'd been building up to this moment for a while and was now barely holding it together.
"I know I have treated you t-this badly and t-there's no such an e-excuse for that action..." he read, his voice stumbling over the words, each one forced out.
What... the hell was he doing?
Your expression didn't change. Not immediately. You just stood there, staring at him, your face flat, unreadable despite the quiet shock settling in your chest. It didn't match the situationโdidn't match the way he looked, the way his hands gripped the paper tighter when he finally glanced up at you.
And when his eyes met your completely unimpressed expressionโhis fingers tightened even more around the paper, the edges crinkling under the pressure like he might just tear it apart without meaning to. For a second, it looked like he was going to keep reading, like he'd force himself through whatever he had written no matter how bad it got. But then something shifted. His jaw clenched, his grip snappedโand the paper crumpled in his hands. Your lips parted slightly, not quite a reaction, not quite indifference eitherโjust caught somewhere in between as you watched him abandon whatever script he thought would save him.
"I'm sorry," he said. It came out raw this time, stripped of the careful structure he was trying to follow earlier. "I'm so sorry for pushing you away after...that," he continued, the words coming faster now, like he didn't trust himself to stop. "I'm so sorry for hurting you... and I'm so sorry for being a coward." His eyes stayed on yours this time, not darting away, not avoiding like he always didโand that alone felt off, enough to make you stay still without realizing it. But his hands betrayed everything else, wiping over his sides again and again, like he couldn't get rid of the sweat.
"I'm so... sorry for taking too long to realize my feelings for you."
You didn't move. Didn't speak. You just stared at him, your mind lagging a second behind everything he just said. It didn't settle right awayโit couldn't. Not when it sounded like something you weren't expecting to hear again, not from him.
"IโI really don't know how to talk without fumbling," Jake continued. He dragged a hand up to his hair, scratching at it in frustration, his shoulders tense in a way that made it obvious how hard this was for him. "My thoughts..." he trailed off, almost whining under his breath, like he didn't even know how to explain what was going on in his head. And that's when you noticed his eyes were glassy now, the faint shine of tears building up faster than he could control.
"It's a lot," he admitted. "IโI wish... whatever my mind says every time you talk, every time you share something..." He sniffed, his nose scrunching slightly as he tried to steady himself, but it didn't really work. "I wish you could hear that instead." His fingers curled slightly at his sides, restless. "I wish you could see yourself the way I see you."
"Because..." he swallowed, his voice dipping just slightly as his eyes stayed locked on yours, refusing to look away now. "I really like you."
Your breath caught immediately, the shift so sudden it almost hurt, your lungs stuttering as if they didn't know how to adjust. Your mouth opened on, ready to respondโready to question, toย say somethingโbut he didn't give you the chance.
"I know it's sudden," Jake rushed out, panic bleeding into his voice as he stepped forward. "I know I hurt youโyes, I hurt you, I-I-I..." His voice faltered, catching on itself as his thoughts tangled, his mouth parting again before nothing came out for a second. He swallowed hard, forcing it through. "I like you a lot,ย please," he added, more desperate now. "I like you in a way that doesn't... shut up." And then he moved closer again.
"Jakeโ"
"I want to be your boyfriend!"ย he blurted out, louder this time, cutting straight through you before you could even finish his name. It was like he didn't even think before saying them. "I want to be the man for you!" he continued, his voice shaking but determined. "I know you're probably thinking I'm not in the right mind for wanting this after everything I did, after all of thatโbut those things, they just made me realize how much I actually... wanted to be there." His breath came uneven, his chest rising as he tried to keep going. "With you. Around you. Talkingโeven if I suck at it."
"Waitโ"
"You're so pretty it hurts!" he cut in again. "I realized it even before all thisโI like cooking for you, I want to be the only one cooking for you. I also like feeding your fish, Iโ" He paused for half a second, just enough for something worse to slip out. "I love staring at you through Bumbleโ"
"You're Bumbleโ?"
"โI love everything about you!" he rushed over you again, not even realizing what he just admitted, completely overriding your question. His face flushed deeper, his hands clenching as he stepped closer again without thinking. "I can be someone you need," he said as though he was trying to convince both you and himself at the same time. "I can take care of you properly, not just... small things, not just hiding behind stuff like cooking or fixing things. I can actually be there, I swear."
His voice cracked slightly, but he didn't stop. "I know I'm late. I know I already fucked this up once," he said, his breathing stayed uneven. "I-I don't have any experience in relationships. I don't even know what I'm doing half the time," he admitted. "But I know I can be someone who shows up to your every tournamentโ"
Your eyes widened immediately at that, the words hitting you harder than expected. Youย neverย told him that. "Jake, I think you need to shut upโ"
"I can be someone who listens," he pushed on, cutting over you again, his voice desperate but weirdly hopeful at the same time. "Someone who wouldn't freak out when you're exhausted or pissed or quiet. Someone who'd talk to you through the hard days," he added, a shaky smile forming despite the tears still slipping down his cheeks, his hand coming up to wipe them away messily. "I can learn what you like, what you needโI canโ" he stumbled again, words spilling faster again than his brain could filter them. "I'm not experienced at sex at all though, but IโI can learn! I can fuck you hard to knock those stressโ I can do that!โ"
You moved faster than him this time. Your hand shot up, covering his mouth firmly before he could finish whatever the hell he was about to say next. "Jake..." you said, your eyes locking onto his immediately.
He froze. Completely. His body went still under your touch, his wide eyes staring at you like you just put him in place, a soft and almost stupidly affectionate shining in his stare. And for a second, neither of you movedโyour hand still pressed over his mouth, his breath warm against your palm.
"You accidentally pressed the speaker for the backstage, you idiot," you hissed. Your hand was still half-frozen in front of his face, your embarrassment crawling up your neck as the realization fully sank in. From the other side of the curtain, the sudden silence from the spokesperson had already been replaced by laughter, whistles, loud cheering echoing from the AVR like the entire room had just turned into a stadium. Your stomach dropped even further at the thought of everyone hearing whatever Jake had just been saying.
God, you were so embarrassed.ย Worse than embarrassedโthis was catastrophic. You could still hear fragments of reactions outside, like people replaying the moment for entertainment, and it only made your face burn hotter. Jake, meanwhile, had gone completely still for a split second before abruptly pulling your hand away from his mouth like he'd finally rebooted.
"I like you," he said again, suddenly firm, like the embarrassment outside didn't even register anymore. "Let me? Let me prove my feelings to you?" He stepped closer again, not in a rush, but with intent. "Let me prove that I deserve a second chance?"
"Jake, aren't you embarrassed?" you whispered urgently, leaning in just enough to keep your voice from carrying, your eyes darting toward the curtain where the noise was still going. "Press that button and we'll talk laterโjust stop the audio firstโ" You were trying to salvage whatever dignity was left in this situation, your tone a mix of panic and disbelief. "It's a yes but press those buttonsโ"
"I like you!" Jake repeated suddenly, cutting through your sentence againโbut this time he laughed right after, like the chaos outside somehow made everything lighter instead of worse. Your eyes shut for a brief second, overwhelmed by the sheer absurdity of it all, but you couldn't ignore the way your chest tightened at the sound. "I like you so much!" he added, louder than before, like he couldn't contain it anymore.
That was when the door to the backstage swung open.
"Sim Jaeyun." The voice was strict that instantly enough to kill whatever remaining chaos was left in the room. The dean stood there, eyes locking onto Jake like a warning shot. "Office. Now."
You covered your face with both hands, mortified all over again as the reality of everything hit at once. Jake, however, didn't look away from youโnot even for a second. He stood there, biting his lip slightly, eyes still fixed on you like the dean wasn't even the main concern. You peeked through your fingers just in time to see itโhim still looking at you like that, like nothing else mattered.
And somehow, against all, you smiled. Just aย little.
Jake saw it immediately. His expression softened, a small, breathless laugh slipping out of him like he couldn't help it. But then the dean cleared their throat again, sharper this time, and Jake straightened instantly, forcing himself to move. Still, even as he turned to leave, his eyes lingered on you one last time before he finally followed after the dean.
The controversy of what happened spread faster than you expected, like someone had lit a match and thrown it straight into dry grass.
Your group chat blew up almost instantly, messages stacking, names tagging you repeatedly. Even Karina's name popped up more than once, her messages sitting there unanswered alongside everyone else's, but you didn't feel like responding to any of it. When you showed up for training later, you acted normal enoughโsmiling faintly, shrugging when people nudged you for answers, letting them complain when you stayed quiet. But it was obvious, even to them, that something had shifted in you. You weren't irritated anymore. If anything, you felt...ย lighter.
By the time you got back home, you slowly pushed the apartment door open, not expecting anything unusual, and paused the moment your eyes landed on him. Jake was in the kitchen, moving carefully between the stove and counter. Soft music played in the backgroundโCigarettes After Sex.ย For a second, it felt likeย dรฉjร vu,ย like your life had looped back. But this time, it's more real.
"So you give him a second chance and it's all good?"ย Karina's words echoed in your head.ย Of course not.ย It wasn't that simple. It couldn't be that simple after everything that happened. You stayed still near the doorway for a moment longer, just watching him move around the kitchen like he wasn't even aware of how much your world had tilted in the past day. He didn't look up right away. He just kept cooking, focused.
But it wasn't "all good." Not yet.
You were still figuring him out again, piece by piece, like retracing steps you once ran through too fast. There was hesitation in it, still uncertainty. But now there was something else too. Anย understanding. He likes you. You like him. That much was no longer buried under confusion or denial.
Maybe it wouldn't fall apart the way you once feared. Maybe it wouldn't be as complicated as it looked from the outside. Or maybe it would be exactly thatโand you'd still choose to stay in it anyway. The thought of horoscopes, luck, fate drifted back into your mind again.ย Fine. Maybe they didn't control anythingโbut they nudged things in directions you weren't always ready for. The universe didn't have to be loud about it. Sometimes it just placed people in your path and let everything else unravel from there.
Without needing certainty yet, you stepped inside anyway.
"Me Gustas Tu."
Jake always like the stars.
He found himself thinking about how they didn't need to be closer to matterโthey just existed, shining anyway, without asking for anything back. It reminded him of how some things in life just... stayed.
He likes fire too.
Not the kind that destroyed things carelessly, but the kind that spread slowly, beautifully, like it had intention behind every movement. The kind that didn't just burnโit transformed, left traces, changed the space it touched. He thought about how it looked when it moved, unpredictable but alive, impossible to ignore once you noticed it.
He likes the sea. The rain. Things that never really stop moving.
And if he had to turn all of that into somethingโif he had to explain what it felt like when you were aroundโit wouldn't come out neatly. It would probably sound messy, like him. Maybe he'd say you were like the brightest star he couldn't stop looking at. Or maybe he'd say you were like fireโsomething that made himย burn. Or maybe he'd compare you to the sea, endless and overwhelming in the best way, pulling him in even when he should stay back.
Silly Jakeโhe really couldn't stop thinking about you, could he?
It was almost annoying how constant it had become, like your presence didn't need you physically there anymore to take up space in his head. Every small pause in his day somehow circled back to you, as if his thoughts had quietly rearranged themselves. Realizing that even silence now felt different when you weren't part of it.
The Volleyball Team had already made their way to Santiago City for the Regional Tournament, and Jake found himself trailing behind the group with a distracted mind. He stared down at his phone more than once, rereading your message that said you had arrived safely at your destination. It was just a normal updateโbut he kept looking at it anyway. You two weren't anything official yet, not even close enough for anything sweet, still stuck in that uncertain thing of figuring each other out. And before you left, things had been awkward again, the kind of awkward that made conversations shorter than they needed to be. Still, despite all of that, he missed you.
And that was the part that frustrated him the most.
Did everything that happened recently make him more desperate, or just more aware? He didn't even know anymore. It was like the absence of you had made everything louderโhis thoughts, his habits, even the smallest pauses in his routine. He found himself wanting things he didn't used to think about before, like hearing your voice without a reason, or seeing you just standing there. God, he sounded pathetic in his own head. A total loser, really, the kind he would've rolled his eyes at if it was someone else.
Jake was almost restless for the entire three days, like his body had forgotten how to sit still without thinking about you. At one point, he ended up just staring at your fish tank for nearly an hour, watching the small movements. It was ridiculous, honestly, the way his attention kept drifting back to anything even remotely connected to you. You were busy the whole timeโtraining, interviews, constant schedulesโonly messaging him late at night right before you slept, and even then it was brief, tired updates. Your phone had even been grounded by your coach at one point, and Jake nearly dropped his own phone in the bathroom when it suddenly rang with your notification tone. Jake was pathetic, and he knew it.
By the time the university bus was heading to Santiago, Jake had already made himself theย firstย one there, sitting far too early with a bag that he kept checking unnecessarily. He dragged Heeseung along too, who looked half-dead already, yawning nonstop while leaning against his neck pillow. The rest of the group was still boarding, but Jake didn't care much about that partโhis mind was already elsewhere, looping back to you even as the city started fading behind the bus windows. The road stretched out ahead, scenery shifting in slow motion, but all he could think about was seeing you again in person. It made him sit straighter without realizing it.
Jake is a loser andย Jake is pathetically in love with you.
"I-I heard there's a lot of strong offense on the other team," Jake suddenly said as he leaned closer to the window, watching the scenery blur past. "I'm actually worried about her... what if they hit too hard and she gets bruises again?" he added, already picturing things he had no control over.
Heeseung beside him just let out another long, tired yawn, slouching deeper into his seat. "It's part of the competition, Jake," Heeseung replied flatly, voice dry and uninterested, like he'd answered this kind of concern too many times already. (He actually did)
Jake didn't seem reassured.
"Do you think I can talk to her after one of the matches?" he continued anyway, ignoring the lack of enthusiasm beside him. "Do you think they'll let them eat properly? What if the food is bad? I packed extra food too, and a first aid kitโjust in case, so I can help if her hands get worse." He said it all in one breath.
Heeseung only yawned again, louder this time, barely even looking at him. "The sports management already said we're not allowed to talk to the team, Jake," he said lazily. "Not even pictures unless they don't make it to Day Threeโwhich, honestly, I doubt."
Jake's lips pressed together slightly, his shoulders sinking just a little at that. By the time the bus finally arrived at the hotel, Jake was already holding his phone again, thumbs hovering over the screen before he typed out a quick message telling you that the university cheering squad had arrived safely and would be ready for the match. The hotel itself was only walking distance from the stadiumโclose enough that just knowing you were somewhere nearby made his chest tighten stupidly all over again. But your reply never came. Jake stared at the unread message for a few seconds longer than necessary before locking his phone with a quiet sigh. Of course you were busy. It was your first match, your focus should be there. Still, it didn't stop the anxious feeling crawling around in him anyway.
"Stop fidgeting," Heeseung muttered later as they handed over their tickets to the organizers, watching Jake bounce his leg nonstop while they waited to be stamped in. The entire stadium already felt loud before they even reached their seats, filled with students, chants, instruments, and that made Jake's ears ring almost immediately. They ended up seated near the front together with the band and the cheering squad, surrounded by noise that felt overwhelming enough to swallow him whole. Jake rubbed at his ear absentmindedly, trying to adjust to the volume, but the second his eyes landed on the courtโon youโeverything else faded anyway.
"Dude, sit down! She's not going anywhere," Heeseung hissed under his breath after Jake practically stood up the second he spotted you. He grabbed Jake's sleeve and forced him back into his seat before he embarrassed himself further. Jake awkwardly fixed his posture, shoulders stiff as he looked toward the court againโand then your head turned in his direction.
For one terrifying second, your eyes met his. Jake smiled immediately, awkward, his braces flashing while his entire face heated up from the attention. You only gave him a small smile in return before going right back to stretching like nothing happened. That tiny interaction alone was enough to make his chest feel full.
Heeseung was right about one thing thoughโthe university wasn't exaggerating when they invested so much into Decelis' Women's Volleyball Team. Jake barely understood the game itself, but even he could tell the difference in level almost immediately. The coordination, the defense, the sheer pressure your team put onto the other side. The match didn't even last an hour before it was over, the crowd exploding into cheers while Jake sat there stunned, staring at the scoreboard like he couldn't believe how quickly everything ended.
And then, just as fast as it endedโ you were gone again.
The sports organizers immediately started ushering the cheering squads and students toward the exits before anyone could crowd around the athletes. Jake instinctively stood again, craning his neck over people's shoulders, tiptoeing just to catch one more glimpse of you. He spotted you briefly near the sidelines, shaking hands and getting congratulated by the opposing team before staff quickly surrounded your group again, escorting all of you away toward the restricted areas.
Jake's shoulders dropped immediately after. Jake is pathetic. And right now, Jake felt fucking miserable.
That was exactly what happened on Day Two. Jake barely even noticed Santiago City despite everyone else talking about how beautiful it was, how lively the streets were at night, how there were places they should visit before heading home. None of it stayed in his attention for more than a second because his eyes kept falling back to his phone every few minutes. You would appear at the court for a couple of intense hours, completely alive, and then disappear again. Jake wasn't even allowed to properly approach you. Not a greeting. Not a quick conversation. Nothing. He was expected to just sit there like a normal supporter and wait for Day Three like everyone else. But Jake already knew what would happen tomorrow tooโmaybe you'd win, the crowd would swarm, organizers would rush your team away again, and he'd end up watching your back disappear for another fucking day. The thought alone was enough to make him restless.
By the time they got back to the hotel that night, Jake looked like he was losing his mind slowly. He kept rolling around on the bed, flipping his pillow over, grabbing his phone every two minutes only to stare at the same screen with no new notifications. His leg bounced nonstop, fingers fidgeting against his stomach while his thoughts kept circling back to you again and again. Heeseung eventually got fed up with the constant movement and straight-up kicked Jake's ass from the other bed.
"For fuck's sake, stop moving!" Heeseung groaned, half-asleep and irritated as hell. "You're making the entire bed shake."
Jake only huffed under his breath, glaring briefly before grabbing his bag and quietly leaving the room instead. Staying still clearly wasn't happening tonight.
Jake was determined now. Tomorrow was the finals, and it was already 10:17 PM. There was no way your team was still doing heavy training this late, right? Maybe you were already asleep. Maybe not. Maybe you were still stuck in some team meeting or recovery session. Jake didn't know, and the not knowing was making him itch. So against all common sense, he made his way toward the other venue building where the sports organizers and volleyball teams were staying. He walked carefully, shoulders tense, sneaking around like he was committing an actual crime before crouching near the grassy area outside when he heard voices nearby. He stayed there awkwardly for almost ten whole minutes, slapping mosquitoes and insects away from his arms while trying not to make any noise.
"Did that bitch literally threaten you?" a voice snapped somewhere ahead. "Just because they won last year doesn't mean we can't beat their ass tomorrow!"
"Giselle," another voice sighed immediately after. "Be the bigger person."
Jake instantly lowered himself further into the grass, nearly flattening his face into the ground before carefully peeking upward.ย Your team!
His eyes immediately found you among them without even trying.
You walked quietly beside the others, wearing oversized training clothes while lazily eating from a cup of ice cream, your expression tired. You scooped another spoonful slowly before lowering it again, staring into the cup like your mind was somewhere else entirely. Even looking exhausted, even standing half-awakeโ Jake still thought you looked so so so pretty.
"No, because why the hell would they threaten Yunjin and then giveย youย a dirty look too?" Winter complained loudly, pointing at you with disbelief still written all over her face.
You only shrugged one shoulder lazily, taking another bite of ice cream like it genuinely didn't bother you. "Probably because I stared back," you muttered flatly.
"That's not helping your intimidation allegations," Ningning snorted from the side.
Jake had to physically press his lips together to stop himself from smiling too hard into the grass like a complete fucking idiot.
"I can't wait to beat their ass tomorrow!" Rei shouted dramatically, pumping her fist into the air. Jake stayed crouched awkwardly near the bushes, trying to remain hidden while still watching you from afar like a complete creep. His knees were starting to hurt from squatting too long, insects still attacking him from every direction, but he ignored all of it because you were right there. Then, in the middle of shifting his weight slightlyโ
Crack. Jake accidentally stepped on a dry branch.
Your entire team immediately went quiet. Jake froze so hard he almost stopped breathing, eyes widening as every single head turned toward the dark garden area where he was hiding.
"D-Did you guys hear that?!" Karina squeaked instantly, grabbing onto Winter's arm dramatically while looking around in panic.
The girls started screaming over each other almost immediately, some backing away while others started speed-walking toward the entrance. Jake slapped both hands over his mouth to stop himself from making another sound, shoulders tense while he watched the group scatter in pure confusion.
"T-there's a bear!"
"Shut up, why would a bear be here?!"
"Then what the fuck was that?!"
Jake stayed completely still for what felt like forever after they disappeared inside, barely even blinking as he listened carefully to make sure nobody was coming back with security.
Then suddenly he heard a one pair of footsteps approaching slowly. Jake squeezed his eyes shut briefly, already preparing himself mentally for getting caught by some staff member or organizer.
"Jake,"ย your voice called quietly through the dark. "Did you know that if you get caught, the sports organizers would probably ban you from joining tournament cheering teams forever?"
Jake's eyes immediately opened again. He slowly peeked his head upward from behind the bushes and found you standing there alone now, arms crossed loosely while staring down at him. He stood up quickly, brushing grass and dirt off his pajama pants awkwardly before giving you the most painfully guilty smile possible.
"H-Hi."
"Hi," you replied, a small half-smile tugging at your lips despite yourself.
Jake scratched the back of his head immediately, avoiding your eyes for a second before forcing himself to look again. "U-Uh... I couldn't sleep," he explained quickly, stumbling over the excuse. "T-That's why I went for a walk... you know..."
You stared at him flatly for a second, eyes slowly moving over his messy hair, oversized hoodie, his bag, and pajama pants that still had grass stuck to them. "How did you even get inside?" you asked finally, brows raising slightly in disbelief.
Jake let out an awkward little laugh under his breath. "Heh..." He rubbed his neck sheepishly. "I... climbed the back gate."
Your lips twitched immediately before you burst out laughing. It caught Jake completely off guard. He stood there frozen, staring at you while your shoulders shook lightly. His chest tightened stupidly at the sight. God, you looked so good laughing at him. Honestly, if this was what it took, Jake felt like he'd climb ten more fucking gates just to hear you laugh like that again.
"Why?" you asked between laughs.
Jake bit the inside of his cheek, his face already turning red under the dim lights. "I..." He hesitated for half a second before forcing himself through it anyway. "I wanted to see you," he admitted quietly.
You blinked at him. "Eh?" Your laughter faded as you tilted your head slightly. "You saw me during the tournament though. Besides, tomorrow's literally the last day. What's the catch?"
Jake immediately started fidgeting again, rubbing his palms repeatedly against his pajama pants like he didn't know where to place his nervous energy. "I miss you," he blurted out quickly before he could overthink it. The second the words left his mouth, his entire face heated up even more. God, that sounded corny as hell. Jake felt like some pathetic high schooler confessing to his crush behind the gym after class.
You stared at him quietly for a moment after that. At the way he kept fumbling with his hands. At the way he couldn't stay still. At the way he looked so genuinely nervous despite already confessing to you in front of an entire auditorium days ago.ย Cute. So fucking cute.
Your gaze slowly lifted away from him afterward, drifting upward toward the sky above the hotel grounds. The night had settled calmly over Santiago, the stars faint but visible around the huge glowing moon hanging overhead. The breeze was cooler now compared to the daytime heat, soft enough to make the leaves around the garden rustle quietly.
"The moon is beautiful, right?" you asked suddenly, softer in a way that made Jake immediately straighten.
"Huh?" He blinked before quickly following your gaze upward. "Ahโyeah. Right." He nodded awkwardly, staring at the moon, trying very hard to process what was happening.
But while he looked upward, you looked at him instead. At the way the moonlight softened his features, the way his messy hair moved slightly with the wind, the nervousness still written all over his face despite trying to hide it. A small smile slowly formed onto your lips before you finally called his name again.
"Jake."
Jake turned toward you immediately, almost too quickly, eyes wide and attentive as if he'd been waiting for you to say something else.
"I miss you too."
Jake stiffened instantly before the biggest smile slowly spread across his face, so wide it almost looked ridiculous. He looked down for a second, biting his lip like he was trying to stop himself from grinning too hard, but it clearly wasn't working. Even the tips of his ears were red now. God, he looked so stupidly happy over four words.
Somehow, the two of you ended up sitting together on one of the benches in the garden afterward. The awkwardness was still there, but it no longer felt painful. You found yourself telling him random things about your day without even realizing itโcomplaining about the freezing showers in the athlete dorms, the way Giselle almost started a fight earlier, how your coach yelled at the team because someone forgot their jersey during practice.
Jake listened to every single word carefully.
And somewhere in the middle of your rambling, he suddenly started pulling snacks out of his bag one after another.
"W-What?" he mumbled shyly when you stared at the pile forming beside him. "I thought... maybe the food here sucks."
"You packed this much?" you snorted, staring at the ridiculous amount of food. Chips, bread, bottled drinks, chocolate bars, even packed containers wrapped carefully inside towels to keep warm.
Jake only shrugged awkwardly. "I thought you might get hungry."
Now your legs were comfortably stretched across his lap while the both of you shared snacks. Jake sat there quietly rubbing mint oil carefully onto the bruises forming around your calves and hands after today's match, his touch gentle despite how concentrated he looked. His brows furrowed slightly every time his fingers passed over darker bruises.
"Does this hurt?" he asked softly at one point, thumbs carefully pressing against your calf.
"A little," you admitted honestly before shoving another chip into your mouth.
Jake immediately eased the pressure after that. The silence afterward felt comfortable enough that your thoughts wandered again, eyes lifting toward the dark sky while the cold minty feeling spread across your sore skin. "Do you think people lose because they don't train enough?" you asked suddenly. "Or just because that's their fate?"
Jake's hands paused briefly on your leg before continuing slower this time. You huffed softly, tossing another chip into your mouth while staring at the stars. "If we lose tomorrow... does that mean we didn't work hard enough?" you continued. "Or maybe fortune just doesn't favor us."
Jake hummed quietly under his breath, clearly thinking carefully before answering. His eyes lifted toward the sky for a second too before he looked back down at your legs again. "I..." He hesitated slightly. "I guess that's what life is?"
You turned your head toward him while he continued massaging your calf slowly. "Life is unfair," he murmured quietly. "But that's just... how it works sometimes. We don't always hold the fortune. We don't always hold our own fate either." His fingers slowed absentmindedly against your skin. "Some people work hard and still lose. Some people barely try and somehow still win."
The breeze shifted softly around the two of you, carrying the distant sounds of traffic somewhere outside the hotel grounds. You looked at him carefully for a moment before asking quietlyโ "Do you believe in luck?"
Jake paused for a moment. His hand slowed slightly on your skin before he gave a small shrug of his shoulder. "I don't know?" he admitted honestly. "Sometimes it makes sense, sometimes it doesn't." He glanced down at your leg again while continuing to massage it gently. "But I got my horoscope read once... they said luck favors me," he added with a faint, awkward smile. "Dunno if it's true though."
That familiar half-smile formed on his face again after he said it. You stared at him quietly while he focused back on your bruises, fingers pressing lightly in slow, careful circles. In that moment, something in your chest tightened again. It felt stupid and obvious all at once, like your thoughts had already made up their mind. Anย unluckyย you sitting here beside someone who casually talked about luck like it followed him around. What were the odds of that, really?
Ooooh, you're foolishly in love with this boy.
You exhaled softly. "I guess I just need to stick with you," you muttered with a small, almost teasing smile
The stadium was completely packed, like the entire city had decided to squeeze itself into one arena just to watch this match. The energy felt heavier too, everyone already knew this wasn't going to be an easy game. Jake could feel his ears ringing nonstop from the overlapping chants, drums, and screams echoing from every direction. Compared to Day One and Day Two, today felt sharper somehow. Heeseung, sitting beside him, kept laughing at the absurdity of it allโespecially how the Decelis band and Isabella's band had basically turned into competing sound systems, blasting music louder and louder just to outdo each other while waiting for the teams to arrive.
"Today we are here to witness another rough battle in the Region!" the commenator announced through the speakers.
The crowd immediately exploded into noise again, shaking the entire structure. Jake flinched slightly at the volume, but he didn't look away from the court even for a second. The introductions began, one team after another stepping into the court under flashing lights and roaring applause. When Isabella's team was introduced, something about the atmosphere shifted.
"It's them! It's them! Oh my God, it's going to start!" the cheering squad beside them squealed loudly, practically jumping in their seats.
Your team walked out. The moment you appeared with the rest of the players, the crowd somehow got even louder, people waving banners, shouting names, and snapping photos like crazy. You moved confidently across the court, waving casually at the audience.
The moment your eyes landed on his direction, Jake reacted instantly without even thinking. He yanked off his hoodie in one quick motion, revealing the shirt underneath that had your faceย printedย on it. For a split second, the entire section near him went quiet in shock. Your mouth literally fell open on the court, frozen mid-step, while even Heeseung slowly turned his head toward him with disbelief.
Jake caught sight of your lips curling into a bright smile as you stretched on the court, rolling your shoulders and loosening your arms. Without even realizing it, Jake found himself smiling too.
The game started almost immediately after introductions. Isabella's team was exactly what everyone warned about, a way that made every rally feel like a fight for survival. The difference between the two teams was small on the scoreboard, but on the court it felt massive, like every point was being ripped out instead of earned easily. Jake could feel himself tensing up more and more with each exchange, leaning forward in his seat without realizing it, breath catching every time the ball flew too close to your side. And every single time you doveโactually threw yourself across the floor to save a pointโJake reacted like he was the one getting hit.ย Ouch!
He grabbed Heeseung's arm at one point without thinking, squeezing too hard as he watched you slide across the court to receive a brutal spike. "Oh my Godโshe's gonna break something!" Jake muttered under his breath. You just got up like it was nothing, brushing your hands off and getting right back into position like your body didn't even register pain the same way normal people did.
"D-E-C-E-L-I-S! GO! GO! GO! GO!" Jake and Heeseung shouted together every time your team scored. He barely even noticed his voice getting hoarse, or the way his hands kept clenching the balloon tighter every time you made a play. All he knew was that you were out there, and everything else in the world felt like it was moving too fast to matter except that.
In the middle of the match break, Jake stayed frozen in his seat, eyes locked on your back as you stood near the sidelines. The number nine on your jersey stood out clearly. Your coach was talking to you at a steady pace, gesturing toward the court while you drank water from your bottle, nodding along with full focus even though your attention still seemed half on the ongoing match. Jake noticed everythingโthe way your shoulders rose and fell with controlled breathing, the way your grip tightened slightly around the bottle, and especially the way your eyes kept drifting back toward his direction every few seconds.
Something about it made his entire body feel strange.
The atmosphere in the stadium was still heavy, but inside Jake's chest everything suddenly felt... lighter. He didn't fully understand it, just that his thoughts slowed down in the middle of all the noise, like someone had briefly turned the volume of the world down just enough for him to breathe properly. Even his grip on the balloon loosened slightly without him noticing. And then, just as you turned away from your coach and started walking back toward the court, you gave him a soft smile.
Outside of this moment, people might've laughed at him for it, told him he was just being stupidly emotional, maybe just too deep in whatever this feeling was. They'd probably say it was just excitement, or he was just being corny in love. But Jake knew it wasn't that simple. It didn't feel chaotic the way nerves usually did.
It felt like the universe was saying something without using words.
He watched you step back onto the court, adjusting your position, rolling your shoulders once like you were resetting yourself completely. The light caught your face again, the sweat, the focus, the calm intensity in your eyes that made you look even more unreal than before. Pretty wasn't even enough of a word for it anymore in his headโit didn't feel big enough. Jake swallowed slightly, and his chest still felt oddly calm despite everything happening around him.
If passing down luck was possible, he'd give it all to you without hesitation.
But then again... you didn't look like someone who needed it.
Jake leaned forward slightly again, eyes tracking your movement as the whistle signaled the return of play.
Because deep down, he already knew it.ย One hundred percent.ย You were going to win.
"Oh ho ho ho! The Decelis Vampire is everywhere!"
The commentator's dramatic voice echoed through the stadium the moment you made another impossible receive, earning an explosion of screams from the audience. Jake breathed out shakily from his seat, fingers tightening around the edge of the banner resting on his lap as he stared at the scoreboard again. The difference between the two teams was still small enough to keep everyone tense, but something had clearly shifted after the last timeout. The second the whistle cut through the court again, Decelis moved like a completely different beastโevery point started stacking one after another until even Isabella's side looked rattled trying to keep up.
You barely even felt your body anymore at this point.
The ball flew toward your side again and your feet moved before your thoughts could catch up, reacting after nearly two hours of nonstop rallies. Your hips still throbbed from the brutal spike you received earlier. Your knees burned too. Your shoulders felt heavy. One hour and forty minutes of constant passing, diving, receiving, runningโit was exhausting enough to make your vision blur briefly every time the whistle paused.
You wanted to lie down. Just for a little while.
You turned your head for during the rotation shift and your eyes immediately found Jake again in the crowd. He wasn't screaming now like the others. He was sitting there quietly, staring at you with that same soft expression that always made your chest feel strangely warm no matter how exhausted you were. His hoodie was gone, exposing that ridiculous shirt with your face on it while his glasses reflected the lights.
And suddenly, more than restingโ you wanted to go home.ย Home with him.
God knew what Jake probably sacrificed just to be here. You knew how sensitive he was with noise, how he usually avoided crowds because they overwhelmed him too quickly. He probably already missed his strict eight o'clock sleep schedule too, and judging from the dark circles faintly visible under his eyes even from the court, he was definitely running on pure determination alone right now.
Your chest tightened briefly at the thought.
Then the ball came flying toward your side again.
You inhaled sharply through your nose and threw yourself forward immediately, diving hard against the court floor to receive it cleanly before it could touch down. The impact stung violently against your body, but the sharp whistle blowing right after mixed instantly with the deafening screams erupting around the stadium.
"With the score of 58 and 61!" the announcer shouted over the roaring crowd. "Decelis advances their way to Nationals!"
Your teammates screamed immediately, some collapsing onto the floor while others tackled each other into hugs near the net. But while everyone else got swept into the excitement, you pushed yourself upright almost immediately, one hand clutching your hip as the pain shot through your side. Your entire body ached violently now that the adrenaline was wearing off, but you barely paid attention to it. Your eyes were already searching through the crowd.
Searching for one person.
Jake froze in his seat the second he realized you were walking directly toward his section.
At first, he genuinely thought maybe you were heading somewhere else. Maybe toward the cheering squad. Maybe toward your managers. But then you kept coming closer, eyes locked onto him so directly that his stomach immediately flipped hard enough to make him dizzy. Jake stood up hesitantly, nearly fumbling the balloon in his hands in panic.
"H-Heyโwhat are youโ"
One of the sports organizers instantly moved when they noticed you approaching the spectator bounds, clearly about to stop Jake from stepping forward too far. But before they could say anything else, Heeseung grabbed the organizer by the shoulder with a grin already forming on his face.
"About fucking time." Heeseung snorted.
Jake barely even processed any of it, because the next thing he knewโ you grabbed the front of his shirt and kissed him.
Hard.
The entire stadium around him exploded louder somehow, a mixture of screaming, cheering, and scandalized reactions crashing together while cameras immediately started flashing toward your direction. Jake's brain completely short-circuited on the spot. His eyes widened for half a second in pure shock before he melted into it almost instantly, hands shakily grabbing your waist despite how badly they trembled.
He kissed you back immediately. Like he'd been wanting to do it forever.
The kiss wasn't neat either. It was breathless and messy. Jake could barely think properly through the pounding in his chest, through the warmth of your lips against his, through the realization that this was actually happening in front of thousands of people. Somewhere behind him, Heeseung was screaming like a maniac while the Decelis cheering squad lost their minds completely.
The moment the kiss broke, reality crashed back into your body all at once. The sharp pain shot through your hips agin, forcing a quiet wince out of you as your hand immediately clutched at your waist. Jake noticed instantly. His entire expression changed from happiness to panic in less than a second, hands carefully moving to steady you before you could lose your balance.
"What's wrong?" he asked immediately as he held you closer against him.
"I want to go home," you muttered quietly instead, your forehead falling against the side of his neck as your body sagged closer to him.
Jake's breath caught instantly. The simple weight of you leaning into him like that nearly made his heart stop despite the worry crawling all over him. He adjusted his hold carefully around your waist, supporting more of your weight without even thinking about it.
"Let's get your hips checked by the medic first," he said softly, already glancing around for staff. "Y-You landed hard earlier..."
But before he could keep rambling nervously, you whisper tiredly against his neck. "I didn't expect to feel this much for you, Jake."
Everything inside him went warm, so suddenly that he physically felt it in his chest, that overwhelming fluttering sensation exploding all over again until his stomach twisted painfully with it. Jake swallowed hard, blinking rapidly behind his glasses while trying to process the words properly. God, you were going to kill him like this.
Carefully, almost shyly now despite the public eyes around you, Jake leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against your forehead. "Me too...me too." His hand rubbed gently against your side afterward, thumb moving in slow comforting strokes while he silently lifted his other hand to signal one of the medics nearby for assistance.
EPILOGUE
It took you a long time to actually sit down and reflect on everything that had happened.
For years, you kept convincing yourself that luck was randomโthat some people were simply born under better stars while others just had to survive whatever scraps the universe threw at them.
Unlucky with money, unlucky in your love life, unlucky in your sex life.
Things never came easily for you. Even when people admired youโyour skills, your looks, your confidence on the courtโthey never really saw the exhausting parts underneath it. Theย loneliness. The constant feeling that you always had to fight twice as hard just to keep your head above water while pretending you were doing perfectly fine. Maybe that was why you became so cynical about all those stupid talks about fate, fortune, and luck. Maybe it was easier to roll your eyes and call everything bullshit rather than admit that deep down, you were terrified the universe simply wasn't built in your favor.
But maybe luck wasn't random at all.
When you really thought about it, you had spent so much time expecting disappointment that you stopped recognizing the good things while they were happening. You focused too hard on what was missing instead of what stayed. Sure, being broke sucked. It absolutely fucking sucked. And no amount of positive thinking magically fixed empty wallets, bruised feelings, or difficult lives. But somewhere along the way, you realized you had also started carrying your own unhappiness like proof that life owed you something cruel.
Maybe you lacked optimism. Maybe you lacked faith in anything getting better because the universe kept throwing the same shit at you over and over again until you got tired of trying to hope differently. That feeling was valid too. You had every reason to become guarded after everything. Every reason to distrust happiness when it rarely stayed long enough before. But lucky people... they weren't always lucky because life was easier for them. Sometimes they were lucky because they allowed themselves to reach for things anyway. To risk failure. To risk doing something. Even when they are afraid.ย
"Open! Open! Daily cleaning at 9:00 AM!"
A long groan dragged out of your throat as the tiny robotic voice echoed outside the bedroom for what felt like the tenth time already. The curtains were still completely shut, the blackout fabric drowning the room in soft darkness despite the late morning sun outside, and you had been enjoying every second of sleeping. The apartment was comfortable and so warm, and honestly, you would rather die than get out of bed right now. But the damn robot kept knocking itself repeatedly against the door with persistence, its tiny speaker chirping louder every few seconds.
"Jake," you mumbled sleepily, eyes still closed as you reached behind you to tap the arm wrapped tightly around your waist, his legs tangled carelessly with yours beneath the blanket. You felt him stir a little, burying his face deeper into the back of your neck while muttering something under his breath, but the knocking outside only continued. "Jake, make Mo stop," you complained softly, but instead of moving, he only tightened his hold around you and pulled you closer against his chest with a sleepy little sigh.
"Open! Open! Daily cleaning at 9:00 AM!"
"Jake, baby," you called again, dragging the word out this time while lightly smacking his wrist. He groaned lowly against your shoulder, clearly refusing to leave the bed, and his hand slowly slipped underneath your shirt just to lazily trace circles against your stomach. The touch made you exhale softly despite yourself.
Outside, the robot continued its relentless banging, but Jake ignored it completely, pressing slow kisses against the side of your neck instead. His morning voice came out quieter than usual, rough and soft all at once as he whispered, "Can I touch?"
You groaned again but gave him a small nod anyway. The second he got permission, his hand slid higher, squeezing gently at your chest while his lips continued wandering across your skin with lazy affection. You tilted your head back slightly, giving him more room, and he took full advantage of it immediately, kissing along your jaw before lifting his sleepy eyes toward you. His glasses were missing somewhere on the nightstand, his brown hair sticking out everywhere. "Kiss, please," he whispered lazily, already leaning closer before you could even answer.
You kissed him just to shut him up.
Jake immediately melted into it with a soft whine. His lips moved slowly against yours, still half-asleep, but it quickly deepened when his hand tightened around your waist and pulled you on top of him. The blanket shifted around your tangled bodies while the robot outside continued yelling about cleaning schedules. Jake kissed like he was addicted to it now, messy and affectionate and greedy all at once. Even after years together, he still kissed you with the same overwhelming softness that made your chest ache.
And honestly, both of you already knew one thing for sure. Jakeย absolutelyย loved kissing you.
"Open! Open! Daily cleaning at 9:00 AM!"
You groaned softly against Jake's lips before finally pulling away from the kiss, your forehead still resting briefly against his while you tried to gather enough energy to function properly. "Open the door for Mo," you muttered lazily as you pushed lightly at Jake's chest to make him move. Jake only huffed in protest, clearly offended at being forced out of bed, scratching messily at his hair before reaching around blindly for his glasses on the nightstand.
You stayed sprawled across the bed while watching him stand up with slow sleepy movements. His oversized white shirt hung loosely over his frame, exposing his legs beneath the thin black shorts he had thrown on before sleeping, and you couldn't help staring for a second as he shuffled toward the door. The moment he opened the bedroom door, Mo immediately rolled inside without hesitation, spinning once before beginning its programmed cleaning route across the floor.
"You seriously need to stop adopting Heeseung's robots," you complained while sitting up properly, stretching your arms above your head until your back cracked pleasantly. "We can literally clean by ourselves."
Jake yawned loudly while adjusting his glasses up the bridge of his nose, already turning around to drag himself back toward the bed with clear intentions of trapping you there again. Before he could grab your waist, you quickly stood up and reached for your shorts from the floor. "Jake, it's already nine," you reminded him while pulling them on. "Training starts at one. I still need to fix my stuff and prepare."
A long miserable whine immediately left his throat at that.
Jake had become even clingier than before. Not that you were complaining. Things had changed between the two of you. Jake no longer slept exactly at eight in the evening because most nights ended with both of you curled together on the couch watching movies until late, stealing kisses during slow scenes, or getting distracted halfway through and stumbling into the bedroom instead (sex). You did feel a little guilty sometimes since he used to be so strict with his routines, but Jake always brushed it off immediately whenever you brought it up.
Honestly, the man acted like a giant koala now.
The second you moved too far away from him, he would cling right back onto your side without shame. While you were fixing your hair in front of the mirror, Jake wrapped both arms around your waist from behind again, pressing his face against your shoulder while Mo continued cleaning nearby. "Stay in bed," he mumbled weakly against your skin, still sounding sleepy. You snorted softly at the feeling of him practically hanging his whole weight onto you, but your hand still reached up automatically to fix the messy strands of his hair away from his glasses.
"You say that every morning," you muttered.
"Because every morning you leave me," Jake replied dramatically, tightening his hold around your waist while you laughed quietly under your breath.
Your eyes drifted past Jake's shoulder toward the wall, landing on the collection of medals, framed certificates, and trophies lined neatly across the shelves. Some were old awards from high school, others were from university tournaments, and a few still had ribbons tangled together because you had been too lazy to organize them properly after Nationals. Jake had insisted on displaying every single one of them anyway, even the participation plaques you thought looked ugly. You smiled quietly to yourself before looking back at your boyfriend standing in front of you,. Sometimes it still hit you unexpectedlyโhow impossible this whole thing used to feel.
Who could thought? You had your six months of sharing an apartment with someone who barely looked you in the eyes.
Back then, you genuinely thought Jake would remain nothing more than the quiet engineering student that have an addiction to legos and hot wheels. And now? Now he stood in your apartment kitchen every morning half-asleep while cooking your meals, whining whenever you left the bed too early, kissing your forehead.
Jake became your person.
You stepped closer and pressed a quick kiss against his lips before walking past him toward the living room. Jake immediately followed after you without hesitation, dragging his feet lazily across the floor while scratching the back of his neck. You crouched beside the fish tank to feed your fish while listening to the familiar sounds of him moving around the kitchen behind you. Jake had developed this habit of cooking both your breakfast and lunch every single training day no matter how many times you told him he didn't have to. He always answered the same way too.
"I want to."
After feeding the fish, you returned to your bedroom to finish packing your things for training, tossing extra clothes and towels into your duffel bag while mentally checking your schedule for the day. You were halfway through folding your jersey when something bumped gently against your ankle. Looking down, you immediately recognized the small robot staring up at you with glowing blue eyes.
Bumble tilted slightly like it was waiting for attention, the tiny camera blinking while its mechanical voice chirped softly.ย "Hi!"
"Jake, the food," you called out immediately while staring directly at the robot's camera.
You heard his laugh from the kitchen almost instantly.
A few seconds later, Jake appeared in your doorway with that stupid soft smile on his face, walking straight toward you just to lean down and steal another kiss. He adjusted the whistle hanging around your neck afterward, fingers brushing gently against your skin before stepping back. "Ay yay, captain," he teased quietly, earning an immediate scoff from you despite the smile pulling at your lips.
Nationals still sat heavily in your chest sometimes.
Third place. Not first. Not the championship everyone had dreamed about during those exhausting practices and sleepless nights. It had hurt watching the seniors cry after the final match, hurt even more realizing that people like Karina, Winter, Ryujin, Yeji, and Yunjin were really leaving now that graduation had finally caught up to them. Every practice lately carried this strange emptiness that you still hadn't fully adjusted to. You missed them badly if you were being honest. No future teammates, no future victories, no future season would ever replace the bond all of you built together.
But endings did not always mean loss. That was something life had slowly forced you to understand.
After finishing your packing, you wandered out of your room and toward Jake's almost absent one out of pure habit. The door was slightly open already. It had honestly been a while since Jake actually slept here properly considering he spent nearly every night tangled in your bed instead. Still, the room looked painfully like himโorganized in his own way and filled with little traces of the things he loved.
Your eyes drifted toward the transparent shelves mounted carefully against the wall. Hot Wheels lined up in neat rows beside completed Lego builds he had spent hours working on during stressful nights, some of them gifts from you, others things he proudly bought himself after passing difficult projects or exams. Mo sat charging quietly near his desk now beside scattered engineering blueprints, and one of your old volleyball wristbands was looped carelessly around its antenna. You smiled softly at the sight before dropping yourself onto his bed with a tired sigh, sinking into the familiar mattress while staring up at the ceiling.
It only took a few seconds before the bed dipped beside you.
Jake crawled in next to you without a word, immediately wrapping his arms around your waist. His chin rested against your shoulder while his legs tangled with yours. "It's honestly useless renting a separate room when you basically live in my bed now," you muttered with amusement while turning slightly toward him. Jake only hummed quietly in agreement, tightening his hold around you instead of denying it. "And both of us are graduating soon too... oh my God."
No more university tournaments. No more scrambling through deadlines and practices and late-night study sessions with Jake. Life was shifting again, slowly moving forward whether you were ready or not. For a moment the room fell quiet and when you looked back at Jake, you noticed him staring at you strangely.
You frowned slightly under the weight of his gaze. "Is there a problem?"
"I love you," he said immediately, without hesitation, like breathing.
The words came out so naturally now compared to before. No stuttering. No panic. No fumbling over syllables while avoiding eye contact. Jake said it softly but confidently, eyes fixed completely on yours. Your expression softened almost instantly, and you moved closer to wrap your arms around him properly. "I love you too, silly," you murmured while caressing his cheek gently with your thumb.
Jake leaned into your touch immediately.
"Remember when you told me before..." he started quietly. "About not knowing what to do after volleyball?" Your brows lifted slightly at the sudden topic change, but you nodded anyway while continuing to stroke his hair back from his forehead. Jake swallowed before continuing. "I wanted to say a lot back then. I just couldn't." He laughed weakly at himself before looking back at you again. "But you can literally do anything. You could teach, or coach, or maybe start some weird fish businessโ"
You snorted softly.
"Jake," you interrupted with a smile. "I already told you. I'm planning to continue volleyball professionally. I'm aiming for the league now. I'm not stopping."
"โOr maybe..." Jake suddenly cut in quietly.
His arms loosened around you.
"Live with me."
Your smile faltered slightly in confusion as you slowly pushed yourself upright on the bed. Jake followed your movement immediately, but instead of sitting beside you again, he slid off the mattress completely. Your eyes widened the second you realized what he was doing.
Jake was kneeling on the floor.
"Jake," you said slowly, staring at him in complete disbelief while your heartbeat immediately started climbing into your throat. He looked nervous all over again for the first time in years, hands visibly shaking while he pushed his glasses higher up his nose. His cheeks were already bright red, his breathing uneven, but he still kept looking directly at you despite how terrified he obviously was.
Then he reached into his pocket.
"Oh my God," you whispered instantly.
"I have a proposition to make," Jake breathed out nervously. His fingers shook so badly while opening the small velvet box that you were half afraid he was going to drop it onto the floor entirely. But the second the lid flipped open, your breath caught hard in your throat. A ring rested inside, and the sight of it hit you so suddenly that your eyes immediately started burning with tears.
Jake noticed instantly and panicked a little.
"I-I will support you through everything," he rushed out quickly, voice trembling while he looked up at you from the floor. "Your league, internationals, all of it. I swear I will. I-I'll keep loving you, deeply, openly..." His throat bobbed as he swallowed hard, his own eyes glossy now behind his glasses. "I know you'll probably think this is too earlyโ"
"Jake, no," you interrupted immediately, shaking your head so fast your vision blurred slightly. The tears were already slipping down your cheeks now, but he misunderstood the reaction immediately because of course he did. Jake's face fell for a split second, panic flashing all over his expression before he hurriedly continued speaking again.
"But it doesn't mean we have to do everything immediately," he said quickly, almost pleading now as he shifted closer on his knees toward the bed. "I just... I want a future with you...ย Live with me?ย Not as roommates anymore, but really with me. As my lover. My person." His voice softened shakily near the end, his eyes refusing to leave yours despite how emotional he looked now. "And someday... asย myย wife."
The room suddenly felt too small for your heartbeat. For a second, all you could do was stare at him kneeling there beside the bedโthe same quiet boy who once could barely survive a single conversation with you now looking at you like you were the center of every future he wanted. Jake's hands were still trembling around the ring box while he waited, breathing unevenly, clearly trying not to completely spiral if you stayed silent too long.
A wet laugh escaped your mouth suddenly as you wiped your tears with the back of your hand. "You're so fucking unfair," you whispered shakily, which immediately made Jake look even more nervous. His lips parted like he was about to apologize again, but before he could spiral into another overthinking breakdown, you grabbed his face with both hands.
"Jake," you said softly.
He froze completely beneath your touch.
"You are already my home."
Jake's eyes widened so much it almost made you laugh again through your tears. His mouth opened, closed, then opened again uselessly while staring at you like he couldn't process what he was hearing. You smiled weakly before leaning down until your forehead rested against his.
"Yes," you whispered.
Jake blinked once. "...Yes?" he repeated weakly, sounding completely stunned.
"Yes, idiot," you laughed through your tears, and the second the words fully registered in his brain, Jake let out the most broken, overwhelmed noise you had ever heard from him before immediately grabbing your waist and pulling you into him. The ring box nearly fell from his hands from how hard he hugged you, his face burying against your stomach while his entire body shook with relieved laughter.
"Oh my God," he kept mumbling breathlessly against you. "Oh my God, oh my God..."
You buried your fingers into his messy hair while laughing softly yourself, overwhelmed and emotional and ridiculously happy all at once. Jake pulled back just enough to shakily slide the ring onto your finger, his hands still trembling the entire time. The moment it settled perfectly in place, he stared at it like he genuinely couldn't believe it was real.
Then his eyes slowly lifted back toward you again.ย "My fiancรฉe,"ย he whispered, sounding completely in awe of the words alone.
Unlucky with money, unlucky in your love life, unlucky in your sex life. The same "bad luck" that used to follow you around had somehow led you here anyway, step by step, mistake by mistake, person by person.
Those were bad luck. And bad luck is temporary.
You smile and leaned forward to press a gentle kiss against Jake's forehead. Ha, you'reย notย out of luck either, aren't you?
You have Jake. Your good bestest luck.
And a good bestest luck lasted aย lifetime.
NOTE: you reached the end, yay! thank you for loving the lucky family! (reader, jake, whitey, pinky, bumble, guppy and mo hehe) :) this is not really my best story but i definitely enjoy writing nerd jekjek and building their world! i hope you enjoy reading this as much as i enjoy writing. love lots!!! - shi
Money, sex, and a lifetime of feeling like luck was never really on your sideโuntil the universe decided to fuck with you in the most inconvenient way possible. What started as simple coexisting turned into something more when you paid a little too much attention to your quiet, awkward, painfully responsible roommateโwho, on paper, is a complete fucking loser. But, hey, heโs not that bad!
In which Sim Jaeyun becomes the only genuinely good, unfairly lucky thing thatโs ever happened to youโฆ and just like everything else in your life, good things have a way of slipping right through your fingers. So now you have to figure it out, fix it, or risk losing the only thing that ever felt right before you run Out of Luck.
1: AGAINST THE ODDS
content tags and warnings: roommate au! romantic comedy, jake is an engineering student x volleyball varsity player reader, ANGST for this chapter! profanities, jake has braces! hopeless romantic reader (she almost get off), internal conflict, jake is such an awkward introverted baby (he likes lego and collects hot-wheels), burning slowburn (slow pacing i swear), superstitious beliefs, lots of awkward erm moments, jake is secretly a simp, reader is pathetic, ft. karina, other kpop idols and robots as side characters. explicit content (smut): sub! jake, virginity loss, handjob, lots of kissing, grinding, unprotected sex. (WC: 35.2K)
Unlucky with money, unlucky in your love life, unlucky in your sex life too, which felt like a cruel fucking trifecta to kick off 2026.
As if the universe had taken one look at you and decided to stack the odds just to see how much you could take before cracking. You rang in the new year under the table eating grapes, promising yourself things would get better even though you didn't really believe it, because every year started the same wayโbroke, tired, horny, and stuck pretending you had your shit together when you absolutely didn't.
Well... this year, your varsity scholarship barely did more than keep you enrolled, covering tuition and some little allowance, nothing else, which meant every other expense came straight out of your pocket, and college was already draining you dry without rent, utilities, groceries, and all the other bullshit that came with trying to survive in the city.
You worked your ass off, trained until your muscles screamed, counted every dollar like it might disappear if you didn't watch it closely enough, and still it never felt like enough, the numbers never quite lining up no matter how careful you were. Living alone had been a nice idea, but it died fast once you actually looked at the prices, reality slapping you hard enough that you didn't bother pretending anymore.
That was how you ended up scanning roommate listings with a pit in your stomach, sitting through awkward interviews, nodding politely while doing mental math in your head, telling yourself you could deal with almost anyone if it meant splitting the bills and not drowning.
That was how you ended up with a roommate. Andddd your roommate was a boy named Sim Jaeyun.
"Is he like so handsome and hot?" Karina yelled as she spiked the ball straight at you, and you dropped to your knees on the covered court to receive it. "Most people fall in love with their roommates! Take it as a chanceโremember when Coach made you eat grapes under the table during New Year's? They said you'd meet your true love within the year. It's a sign!"
No. What the fuck.
Because Sim Jaeyun was... different, and that was putting it nicely. Geeky was the first word that always popped into your head whenever you thought about him, followed closely by awkward as hell, because the first time you met him during that short, painfully quiet interview, he stuttered through half his sentences and wouldn't stop fidgeting with his hands like they had a mind of their own, tapping, twisting, pulling at his sleeves until you wondered if he was going to vibrate right out of the chair.
Still, annoyingly enough, he was better than most of the people who appliedโclean record, stable background, no weird red flags on paperโwhich was how he made the cut despite the whole mess of nerves.
The first week really sealed it for you, though, because when you came back from training one night, you found him sprawled on the living room floor for hours, surrounded by Lego pieces, carefully snapping them together with this intense focus, and you just stood there for a moment, eyebrow twitching, face twisting before you could stop yourself. You weren't trying to be judgmentalโat least that's what you told yourselfโbut watching a grown man play with Legos like that weirded you the fuck out, and the word loser lodged itself in your brain whether you liked it or not.
Sometimes you'd pass by his room and sneak a glance inside, catching sight of his tiny model cars lined up neatly on a shelf, perfectly arranged, and every time it made your stomach tighten with secondhand embarrassment, because this was the guy you were stuck sharing a space with, the supposed "true love" the universe was trying to shove into your life, and you already knew there was no fucking way.
"Come on, tell me more about this roommate of yours, why are you so quiet about it? It's been like five months," Karina laughed, and you couldn't help yourself as you spiked the ball straight toward her face, irritation snapping through your arm, only for her to catch it effortlessly and fling it right back at you like it was nothing.
You scoffed as you received it, rolling your shoulders, already annoyed at how easily she brushed you off.
"It's nothing special like you're trying to romanticize, okay?" you shot back. "All I know is he's an engineering major with this weird-ass Lego and tiny car obsession, and whenever he actually talksโwhich is rare as hellโit's always about practical shit like the rent, the electricity bill, or some absentminded 'hi' if we happen to cross paths at the exact right second."
"Oooh, a nerdy type?" Karina teased, eyes lighting up as she bounced on her feet, clearly enjoying this way too much. "So he's not that talkative? Why don't you try asking him more?"
"Why would I?" you shot back, eyebrow lifting just as the shrill sound of the coach's whistle cut through the air, making both of you snap your heads toward the court as he signaled for a break.
You grabbed your towel and water bottle, walking alongside Karina toward the bench, sweat clinging to your skin while she kept running her mouth like she always did.ย "Because it's for the thrill," she continued, lowering her voice only slightly, hands hovering in the air as if she were pitching some grand idea. "I mean, you literally told us you want to get laid but you don't do hookups, so hello? The opportunity is right there in your fucking apartment. Grab it. So you don't have to masturbate all the time."
"Jesus, no," you muttered, unscrewing your bottle and taking a long drink, water spilling down your chin as you scoffed. "I bet that man is a fucking virgin," you added without hesitation, already pushing off the bench and heading back toward the court as the break ended, trying to leave the whole conversation behind with your towel tossed over your shoulder.
"And what if he was?" Karina shouted after you. "Are you not curious at all? You're not even talking about it, and it's a man. It's a big deal!"
You clenched your jaw as you took your position, telling yourself to shut it out, to focus on the ball, the court, the rhythm of your body moving the way it always had, but her words slipped under your skin anyway.
It wasn't like Sim JaeyunโJake, as he awkwardly introduced himselfโwas unattractive, and that realization annoyed you even more, because technically, objectively, he had the kind of face people trusted without thinking twice. Innocent-looking, pale skin that never seemed to tan no matter how much time passed, a pointed nose, plump lips that curved into an almost shy smile, and those stupid braces flashing whenever he talked about something painfully mundane like daily water consumption, as if that was the most important thing in the world.
And fuck, speaking of masturbation, that thought made you shift uncomfortably because you did itโa lotโat least you used to, but somewhere along the line it had stopped, and you couldn't even pinpoint when or why. Maybe it was the brutal training schedule, the constant exhaustion, your body collapsing into bed every night without energy for anything else, or maybe it was the fact that you were now living with a boy, his quiet presence seeping into your routines in ways you didn't want to think about too closely... wait NO, you were not going to let Karina's words worm their way into your head, not when you had bigger priorities, like finally getting some long-overdue "me time" with your own body. You'd barely had the space to breathe, let alone touch yourself properly, and now there was the added complication of sharing an apartment with a guy.
Thin walls, shared spaces, the constant awareness that someone else existed just a few steps away made everything feel awkward and exposed, like privacy had become this fragile thing you had to tiptoe around. But then... why the fuck were you letting his weird shy-boy aura control what you did with your own body in your own apartment? Get a grip. It was 2026, for fuck's sake, and women didn't have to shrink themselves or pretend they didn't have needs, didn't want pleasure, didn't get horny. It wasn't embarrassing to want it, to crave it, to take care of yourself, and you refused to feel guilty about it. You decided right then that you were masturbating tonight, no excuses, no letting some awkward roommate situation dictate your life.
When you got home, you dumped your bag by the door and locked yourself in your room, kicking off your shoes and collapsing onto the bed, trying to force your muscles to relax and your mind to shut the hell up.
Jake was just some innocent presence in your thoughts, nothing more, but... maybe he really was some timid little virgin. He was so damn quiet, so careful, that doing something dirty under the same roof almost felt wrong, like you were corrupting the space just by wanting it. And of course, the more you tried not to think about him, the more firmly he lodged himself in your head, sooo stubborn and intrusive.
"Shit," you breathed, shifting on the bed as your fingers slid between your thighs, touching yourself slowly. "Stop thinking, stop thinking, fuck," you whispered, eyes squeezing shut, but the moment you did, your brain betrayed you, flashing an image of him sitting in the living room, hunched over his stupid Lego sets, completely absorbed and unaware.
Your eyes flew open when you felt how wet you were getting, heat pooling low in your belly, because suddenly the idea of getting off in the same space where he always sat, that couch where he spent hours building his little towers, started to turn you on. You imagined yourself sprawled there instead, hand buried between your thighs, touching yourself openly while he sat just a few feet away, quiet and focused, oblivious or maybe not, and the image sent a dirty thrill through you that made your breath hitch. What the fuck?!
"Weirdo," you thought, jaw tightening as your fingers moved faster. You're a fucking weirdo, and yet you didn't stop, didn't pull your hand away, because your body didn't give a shit about shame.
You let out a soft, broken sound as your hand finally slid where the tension had been coiling all night, nudging your underwear aside, your pulse spiking when your brain betrayed you again with the idea of him noticing, of him catching you in the act, the possibility alone pouring gasoline on an already reckless fire. You couldn't stop imagining his reaction if he walked in and saw you sprawled on the couch, touching yourself without shameโeyes blown wide, jaw slack, stuttering over some useless apology while his ears burned redโor worse, the thought that he wouldn't even realize what you were doing, that he'd sit there beside you completely oblivious while your body unraveled, sent an uneasy shiver down your spine that had nothing to do with pleasure.
Dude? You barely even talked to him. You shared a space, not a life, and your brain choosing this to fixate on made you feel unhinged in the most irritating way.
"Shit," you muttered out loud, dragging yourself back into reality when a sudden noise broke through your haze. Some kind of rummaging echoing from outside your room.
Your eyebrows knitted together in irritation as you shoved yourself off the bed, fixing your clothes, wiping your hands and padded across the floor. When you opened the door and stepped into the living room, the sight waiting for you, Jake was face down on the floor, his arms spread out. And circling nearby, bumping into his side, was a little round vacuum robot, whirring around.
This was it. This was the image your brain had been spiraling over all night. You stared at him for a long second, annoyance with disbelief, and the tension draining out of you in one sharp exhale. What a fucking loser.
"Uhh, hey," you said. You walked a little closer, looking down at him with your arms crossed. "Are you okay?" Your eyes flicked toward the robot, then back to him. "Where the hell did that come from?"
Jake pushed himself up on his elbows, his hair messy and sticking to his forehead, his glasses tilted crooked on his face. His cheeks were redโwhether from embarrassment or just hitting the floor, you couldn't tell. "Ah... uh... my friend gave it to me," he muttered quickly. He didn't look up at you once, his eyes glued to the floor as if meeting your gaze would make him combust. "I-It's, uh... I fixed it. There's still an error but... uhhh, it would help us clean... you know."
You narrowed your eyes at the little robot, watching it bump clumsily against the leg of the table, circle around for a second, and then slam itself into the same spot again.
"Uh... I thought these things were supposed to, like, go the other way when they hit something?" You raised your eyebrow, arms folded as you leaned against the wall, still focused on the thing rolling around.
"It's still not fixed," Jake admitted under his breath, his tone shrinking down even more. He sat himself upright, knees bent, scratching at the back of his head. "W-Wait, I... I'll just turn it off."
You watched him scramble toward the robot, his movements frantic, It almost made you laugh, how hard he tried not to fuck up while he was clearly already fucking up. His shoulders were tense, his breath a little quick, and you could practically feel how badly he wanted this scene to end and you thought he was some kind of idiot.
The thing was, after that day, your eyes didn't really stop following him.
Okaaay, it was nothing, just the result of sharing the same damn space with another person, bound to notice shit when you lived under the same roof, and if anyone was to blame, it was Karina and her big mouth planting stupid ideas in your head. Still, it felt like some traitorous part of your brain had started recording him without permission, filing away details you had no reason to care about, noticing patterns you definitely didn't ask for.
In the mornings, when you dragged yourself out of bed half-dead and sore, there he was in the kitchen, quiet as always, pouring chocolate almond milk into a mug and sipping it like some kind of kid who never grew out of comfort drinks. No coffee, no energy drink, no caffeine-fueled desperation like a normal college student, just fucking chocolate almond milk, and it made you wrinkle your nose every time because who the hell does that and survives?
When you mentioned it to Karina one day during warm-ups, she didn't even hesitate. "Okay, I bet his cum tastes good," she said casually, and you stopped midโjumping jack, staring at her like she'd lost her goddamn mind, heat crawling up your neck despite yourself.
That was also when you started noticing his schedule, because it was painfully predictable in a way that almost felt unsettling. Out of the apartment by eight, back by five, every single day, like his life ran on rails and deviation wasn't an option, and when you realized he actually went to bed at eight in the fucking evening, you nearly laughed out loud. Nobody did that. Nobody except him, apparently, which finally explained why the apartment was always dark and dead silent when you stumbled home late, and why that stupid little sign taped to the wallโPlease don't turn the lights onโexisted at all. He actually lived by that shit!
"Isn't he so cute and healthy?!" Karina cooed the second you mentioned it, pinching your cheeks between her fingers like you were some kind of toy, and you immediately scoffed, swatting her hand away with a slap. She laughed, completely unfazed, while you rolled your eyes so hard it almost hurt, already regretting ever opening your mouth in the first place.
You were absolutely going to blame her for all of this, because if she hadn't started running her mouth about your roommate like he was some kind of rare fucking specimen, none of these thoughts would've taken root. What was so malicious about having a boy roommate anyway? It wasn't a love story, it wasn't fate, it wasn't some goddamn porn plot waiting to happenโ and you were getting real tired of your own brain trying to spin it into something bigger than it was, especially when you were flat on your back staring at the ceiling, hands resting on your stomach, forcing yourself to breathe like everything was normal.
"Uh... h-hello..." Three soft knocks landed on your door, followed by another quiet, hesitant "hi," and your chest tightened instantly, irritation floating with the fact that of course it had to be him, the very devil that had been squatting in your thoughts nonstop.
You sighed, staring up at the ceiling for a beat longer like maybe ignoring him would make him disappear, but then another knock came, a little firmer this time, and your eyebrow twitched as annoyance finally won out. You sat up with a sharp movement, clicked your tongue, and stood, swinging the door open hard, only to be met with Jake standing there with his shoulders hunched in that familiar way, back slightly scrunched, an awkward smile tugging at his lips.
"Hi..." he mumble as he scratched at the back of his neck, and your eyes dropped immediately, not out of kindness but because you didn't feel like dealing with his face yet, landing instead on his feet.
Dinosaur slippers. Bright, stupid dinosaur slippers, tapping softly against the floor as he shifted his weight.
"I-I wanted to give you the advance payment... u-uh..." he trailed off, fumbling with something in his hands, and you just stood there, watching him struggle.
He finally managed to hold it out to you, bills slightly wrinkled, that same awkward smile glued to his lips, and your eyes betrayed you by drifting up instead of staying where they should've been. Pointed nose, plump lips, the shine of his braces catching the light when he swallowed nervouslyโfuck, this was absolutely Karina's fault, because somehow, without warning, he looked more attractive than he ever had before.
"Jake," you said, scratching at your ear and straightening your posture, refusing to look directly at him as you took the money from his hand, your fingers brushing his for half a second too long, your heartbeat kicking stupidly hard at the contact.
"Hm?" he responded softly, and you bit your lip, finally lifting your gaze to him, your brain screaming at you to shut up while your mouth had other plans. Ask him something normal... just a questionโ casual, harmless questionโ because you were only... a little interested, and that didn't mean shit.
"Do you have a girlfriend?" The words slipped out before you could stop them, blunt and way too direct, and you mentally slapped yourself immediately, because great, now you sounded like the weird one.
"H-huh?" His face went red almost instantly, color blooming across his cheeks as he fumbled with the fabric of his pajama pants, wiping his hands over and over. "IโI don't have..." he said quietly, trailing off as if the sentence itself embarrassed him.
You pressed your lips together and looked away, nodding like that was nothing to react to, crossing your arms and staring down at the floor before glancing back up at him again. "You haven't had anyone?" Fuck, stupid, dumb decision! You cursed yourself again, because apparently you'd lost all sense tonight.
"Uh... I had one b-back in high school," he admitted, eyes still avoiding yours. "But it didn't work."
"Ah," you nodded, forcing a neutral tone you didn't entirely feel, shifting your weight as you stood there in the doorway with money in your hand, suddenly aware that what started as an annoying, harmless question had cracked something open, and now neither of you seemed quite sure how to close it again.
You weren't even sure how you managed to fall asleep that night, because the embarrassment clung to you heavier than exhaustion ever did, replaying the scene over and over until your head hurt. When morning came, you stayed in your room longer than usual, listening for movement outside, making damn sure he wasn't in the living room or the kitchen or anywhere you might accidentally run into him, because the thought of seeing his face after that made your stomach knot. You slipped out only when the apartment was quiet, grabbing your things and leaving like a coward.
Stupid. Idiot. So fucking dumb. You and him barely talked, and suddenly you were asking personal questions like you had any right to them. What the hell would he think? That you were weird? Desperate? Bored? You groaned to yourself, dragging a hand down your face as you walked, already hating how much space the whole thing was taking up in your head.
"This is all your fault," you snapped later, shoving Karina's shoulder as you told her what happened, only for her to burst out laughing.
"Admit it," she said, grinning wide. "You're interested. I mean, something pushed you to talk to him and even ask personal shit."
"It wouldn't be like that if you weren't planting ideas in my head," you hissed back, glaring at her, pointing at your head.
"Oh, dear, dear," she mocked, shaking her head as she leaned in and traced stupid little hearts over your chest with her finger. "You wouldn't be affected at all if it wasn't already there. Stop denying it and just accept it fully."
"Let's think about progress," she continued, clearly enjoying this way too much. "Next time, talk to him more. Ask what songs he listens to, what food he likesโ"
"Shut up," you cut in immediately, heat crawling up your neck as you folded your arms tighter. "It's embarrassing."
"No. Listen to me," Karina said, grabbing your shoulder and physically turning you back toward her like she wasn't about to let you escape this. "He's single. And I swear I don't even know him, but from everything you've told me, he's perfect for you. When you see him, don't act all awkward and twitchy. Be confident. Stand straight. Shoulders back. Don't cross your arms like you're about to fight someone." She started counting on her fingers. "Maintain eye contactโeven though he won't, that's your advantage. Smile a little. Ask him something normal, like what he's working on, or why he drinks chocolate almond milk, or anything. And if he stutters? Don't jump in. Let him finish. Let him drown a little."
You stared at her with your lips pursed, face twisted in pure secondhand embarrassment. "And why exactly should I listen to you?"
"Because I'm right," she said instantly. Then she tilted her head, eyes narrowing. "Is he your type or not?"
You swallowed. "No. What the fuck."
She didn't miss a beat. "But would you fuck him?"
Silence, your brain running in useless circles while Karina just watched you like she already knew the answer. You exhaled slowly, shoulders sagging. "...Why... not," you muttered.
You hated how much her words stuck with you, hated how they pushed at something you'd been trying to ignore, because when you got home from practice later that evening, there he was in the living room.
Jake was sitting on the floor, legs folded awkwardly as he unscrewed the little vacuum robot, fiddling with its insides before setting it down and watching it.
The moment it rolled in your direction, you saw him stiffen, shoulders tightening before he forced that same awkward smile onto his face.
You paused, heart thudding harder than necessary, Karina's voice echoing in your head, and forced yourself to do exactly what she'd said. You lifted your chin, met his eyes even when he almost looked away, and spoke first.
"Hi," you said, steadying your voice as you held the eye contact.
"Hi," he replied softly, and you watched his throat bob as he swallowed, hands hovering uselessly near the robot.
Your gaze drifted to the little vacuum circling around aimlessly, bumping once against the wall before correcting itself. "...So it's fixed now?" you asked casually, even as you swallowed the lump forming in your throat.
"Y-Yeah," he nodded quickly. "D-Don't worry, it's just a battery issue. It w-won't affect the electric bill."
Of course that was his first concern. You huffed internally, dropped your bag onto the table, and before you could overthink it, you walked straight over and sat down next to him on the floor. Close. He stiffened instantly, shoulders locking up as he subtly scooted a few inches away, tryingโand failingโto make it look natural.
"Have you had dinner?" you asked, keeping your tone light, like Karina's voice wasn't screaming instructions in your head. "I was thinking of ordering something. You wanna check?"
Normal. This was normal. Roommates did this shit all the time. It wasn't weird unless someone made it weird.
"UhโI already a-ateโ"
"What about chicken?" you cut, sitting up straighter as you scrolled through your phone and angled it toward him, a poor excuse to lean closer. "Or burgers? Waitโshit, I'm actually on a diet right now. Are you okay with veggies?"
You waited, and... nothing. When you finally looked at him, you realized he was barely breathing, blinking like he'd forgotten how, eyes fixed somewhere over your shoulder like looking at you directly might short-circuit him. "Uh... I already ate," he repeated, voice dropping smaller.
"Oh."
Before you could recover, he stood abruptly, movement jerky, still refusing to meet your eyes as he pointed vaguely toward his room. "IโI need to, uh... I have something to do," he said, bowing slightly out of pure habit before retreating, the door opening and closing with a soft final click.
You stared at the door for a long second before letting your phone drop onto the table, sinking back with a long sigh. Fuck. That went great.
"Maybe he just got overwhelmed?" Karina said the next day, eyebrows raised as she watched you slump forward, elbows on your knees, retelling the disaster. "You did tell me you kind of talk a lot. Or he's just shy as hell."
"What if he thinks I'm weird?" you muttered, rubbing a hand over your face, trying to replay everything from his side.
"No," she said immediately. "Absolutely not. We will try again. Casual questions only. Like... ask about the weather. It's raining today, right?"
And you did. You actually tried. You walked fast all the way home, phone clutched in your hand as you kept checking the time, timing it just right for when Jake was usually in the living room. 6:39 p.m. You fumbled with your keys, nearly tripping over your own feet as you pushed the door open, breath a little too rushed, and thank fuckโthere he was, sitting on the couch, eyes glued to the TV.
You pretended to stretch your shoulders as you stepped inside, rolling your neck like you were just another exhausted student coming home, your jersey lifting slightly and revealing more of your black shorts than necessary.
"It's so rainy, fuck," you complained aloud. "I didn't bring an umbrella, so I ran all the way from the university. God, my body hurts," you added, letting out a small groan with your eyes closed, even though it was a lieโyou ran because training went overtime and because you didn't want to miss another chance to talk to him.
Silence.
When he didn't respond, you cracked one eye open, then the other, glancing toward him only to find him still completely fixated on the TV, posture relaxed, attention fully absorbed. Your mouth fell open slightly, irritation bubbling up, and when you drifted a little closer to your room under the excuse of passing by. That was when you finally caught what he was watchingโsome kind of documentary, planets and stars filling the screen, a calm narrator talking about galaxies, gravity, and shit you barely remembered from high school.
You paused, blinking. Seriously? This was his way of relaxing? Sitting there quietly, absorbing new information like it was entertainment? You scoffed under your breath, suddenly feeling stupid, because now talking about the weather felt painfully dumb in comparison, like small talk he wouldn't even care about. Without another word, you turned and went into your room, shutting the door a little harder and dropping onto your bed before forcing yourself to open your notes and study for quizzes you barely cared about.
"Don't give up," Karina said firmly, gripping your shoulders when you sagged forward on the bench, this rare break finally giving you room to breathe after weeks of nonstop training with the city-wide university tournament looming over your head.
"He can barely look at me," you snapped, pointing at yourself, teeth gritted in frustration.
"Because you're too hot and beautiful," she shot back without missing a beat. "He's overwhelmed. He's probably thinking you're so so hot that his brain is literally short-circuiting every time you talk to him. Think about itโit's been a long time since his last relationship." She smoothed your hair like she was calming a feral animal, tone softening.
You both went quiet after that, and you stared off to the side, chewing on the thought despite yourself. Right. Maybe he really was just awkward because it'd been a long time. Maybe you were coming on too strong without realizing it. You needed to be subtle, calmer, casual, like you didn't give a shit even if part of you very clearly did. Play it cool.
That night, you came home with two cups of ramen swinging lightly from your hand, your chest rose and fell from the walk up the stairs, shoulders finally dropping in relief when you stepped inside and saw Jake in the living room. He was crouched on the floor again, tools scattered around him as he fiddled with another robot you'd never seen before, while the stupid circular vacuum from before rolled lazily around the room.
"Hi," you said, still catching your breath.
He looked up at you, eyes wide and innocent for half a second before that familiar awkward smile kicked in, forced and shy all at once, and fuck, the sight of it irritated you because he was unfairly cute in a way that made no sense. "Hi," he replied softly.
You lifted the two ramen cups and walked toward the table, setting your bag down as casually as you could manage. "I bought two," you said, shrugging like it was no big deal. "Got my daily sports allowance and wanted to treat myself... then I thought of you." You shuffled the plastic lids, pretending to be more focused on that than the way his attention locked onto you. "You're probably hungry, right?"
You didn't wait for his answer. You slid one of the ramen cups toward him and finally met his eyes, holding his gaze just long enough to make your point clear without saying it outright, your mouth curling into a small smile. "...Right?"
"U-Uh... t-thank you," he whispered as he shrank in on himself, shoulders curling forward while he opened the container. He flashed you that same awkward, almost childish smile again, and fuck, he's really really so cute.
You sat across from him at the table, the two of you eating in silence, the only sounds the soft slurp of noodles and the faint hum of the appliances around you. You poked at your ramen with your chopsticks more than you actually ate, stealing glances at him while he chewed, trying to find an opening that didn't feel forced, something that wouldn't send him running again. "Soo..." you started, dragging the word out like a test. "You're a scholar too?"
Jake nodded before he even spoke, eyes lifting briefly before darting away again. "Yes," he said.
You nodded back like you were genuinely interested, leaning your elbow on the table. "How much allowance do they give you?" you asked. "Or is it the same as mine? I heard academic scholars can apply outside the university too, like government stuff."
He nodded again, eyes flicking up to you for half a second before he went back to biting his noodles, slurping softly like that was easier than talking. You kept going anyway, because silence made your skin crawl. "Sometimes I wish I was smart instead of just... sport-inclined," you admitted with a half-laugh, slumping your shoulders for emphasis. "Like, what the hell am I supposed to do after I decide I'm done with volleyball?"
You looked at him, waiting, hoping, and the silence stretched out so long it felt loud, ringing in your ears until you swore you could hear imaginary crickets chirping in your head. Embarrassment crept up your neck, heat blooming as you realized this was it againโyou talking, oversharing, filling space while he stayed quiet.
"I'm done for now," you said abruptly, clacking your chopsticks against the plastic before snapping the lid shut, forcing a smile that felt stiff on your face. You stood, shoved the ramen into the fridge with more force and retreated to your room, closing the door behind you.
Bitch, you thought, dropping onto your bed and staring at the ceiling. All you ever do is embarrass yourself!
The next morning, Sunday dragged itself, and the only thing on your schedule was volleyball training, which somehow made it worse. Your body ached in that familiar, dull way, muscles stiff and protesting as you forced yourself out of bed and into the living room to pack your bag, movements sluggish. You were halfway through shoving your gear inside when you realized the bathroom door was open, steam drifting lazily into the hallway, and you froze mid-motion when he stepped out.
Jake stood there with a towel slung over his shoulder, hair still damp and sticking up in odd places, dressed in his usual comfortable home clothes like it was any other morning, and for a split second your brain short-circuited. What the hell? It was Sunday. He never woke up early on Sundays!
The sight of him caught you so off guard that your mouth moved before your thoughts caught up. "A-Are you done?" you asked, forcing a stiff smile and immediately wanting to slap yourself for stuttering like an idiot.
He nodded, eyes sliding away from yours almost instantly, stepping past you with that small, polite bow he always did. The air felt weirdly tight after he passed, and you stood there for a moment longer than necessary, staring at the bathroom door.
By the time you were on the court with Karina, dropping your bag down beside hers and joining her for stretches. "I swear he's not interested," you muttered, brow scrunched as you stretched out your legs. "I might just give up."
"Wow," Karina replied dryly, glancing at you. "Good morning to you too."
You rolled your eyes and pushed into a half split, focusing on your breathing. "Everything is your fault," you went on, shifting your weight, arching your back to stretch deeper. "And yeah, okay, I admit he's cute and attractive and whatever, butโugh." You abandoned the stretch altogether, dropping onto the floor and flailing your hands in frustration. "He won't even talk to me, no matter what I try or what you tell me to do."
"Maybe becauseโ" Karina started.
"No," you cut her off immediately, rubbing your face. "I'm done. Why am I even doing this?" You weren't sure if the question was meant for her or yourself, and that uncertainty only made it worse.
You didn't even know what you wantedโmaybe you wanted him in your bed, maybe you were just bored, lonely, horny, maybe you wanted a boyfriend, or maybe you just wanted something to break the monotony of your days.
Fuck, you honestly didn't know.You pushed yourself up to your feet with a sharp exhale, forcing your shoulders back as training began, telling yourself this was it, that you were un-crushing him, that whatever weird hold he'd had on your thoughts was gone. You just needed to focus, sweat it out, forget the way he'd looked that morning, forget the way your chest had tightened for no good reason, and move the hell on!
And so you went back to not caring about himโor at least you tried to. You kept things strictly transactional, clipped conversations that revolved around rent, water bills, electrical bills, and nothing else, the kind of exchanges that didn't require eye contact or emotion or the risk of awkward pauses. You timed your routines carefully, stayed in your room more, wore your headphones even when nothing was playing.
Somehow, though, the apartment got weirder instead of quieter.
At some point, there were suddenly two circular vacuum robots roaming the place, one pink and one white, bumping lazily into furniture like bored pets, and then there was a third one that made you pause the first time you saw it. This one had a small screen instead of a blank surface, animated eyes blinking as it rolled around the house, looping endlessly in wide, slow circles like it was patrolling its territory. It was unsettling in a way you couldn't quite explain, especially the way it behaved whenever you came home.
The first time it happened, you stepped through the front door, already halfway to your room when the robot rolled toward you, stopping just short of your feet. Its eyes widened slightly on the screen, focusing on you, and then a soft, robotic voice chimed, "Hi."
You stopped, stared at it, and after a second of confused silence, answered back without thinking. "Hi," you muttered, eyebrows knitting together as you watched it blink like it was pleased with the response. You shook your head and went to your room.
But it kept happening. Every time you came home after training at 7:30, without fail, the robot would find you, roll closer, look up at you with those stupid animated eyes, and greet you. "Hi." Over and over again, like some kind of programmed acknowledgment that you existed, and it annoyed you! Part of you wondered why a machine noticed you more consistently than the person who built it?
Whatever.
When tournament month finally hit, it felt less like a schedule and more like a slow, grinding punishment that refused to end. Hell week stretched into hell weeks, days bleeding into each other until your body stopped distinguishing between soreness and exhaustion, and your mind lived in a constant fog of drills, scrimmages, ice packs, and shouted instructions. Your team kept winningโsomehowโdefeating other universities one after another, which meant you qualified for the next rounds, which also meant more training, longer hours, heavier pressure. Victory didn't feel like relief anymore; it felt like another door slamming shut behind you.
After one match, you stood on the edge of the court, hands on your hips, chest heaving as you watched people filter out of the bleachers. Couples laughed, friends clapped each other on the back, families waved and called out names, and you wondered, not for the first time, what it would be like to just be normalโto be a regular college student who watched sports for fun instead of bleeding for it, who cheered and went home without their knees screaming or shoulders burning. Would life be easier that way? Would you have more space in your head for things that weren't survival and performance and pushing yourself past your limits?
And then your thoughts drifted further. Would you have found a lover by now? If your life wasn't so wrapped up in training? Someone you met in a theory class, bonding over shared misery and late-night study sessions, or someone introduced through friends, a clean, easy connection that didn't feel so fucking complicated.
The idea made your chest tighten, and you frowned at yourself, annoyed. Why were you suddenly like this? Why so emotional, so restless? Were you really that lonely? What the hell was wrong with being single anyway? You'd been fine before. You had friends. You had people to talk to. You weren't isolated!
Except you knew it wasn't the same. You watched your teammates get swallowed into hugs after the match, hands squeezing shoulders, foreheads pressed together, quiet comfort exchanged even without words, and you felt it thenโa sharp, stupid ache. While they leaned into someone else's warmth, you retreated to the back room alone, wiping sweat off your face, peeling off your jersey, changing in silence. Maybe this was just who you wereโsomeone who got jealous not because you lacked people, but because everyone else seemed to have that person, someone to lean on when their body gave out, when the day finally caught up with them.
By the time you dragged yourself home, your limbs felt heavy, movements are sluggish as you kicked off your shoes and let the door shut behind you. The familiar hums filling the space as the robots whirled around the floor, doing their endless loops. One of themโthe one with the animated eyesโrolled toward you like it always did, eyes blinking up at you before that same neutral voice chimed.
"Hi."
"Hi," you replied automatically. Normally you would've gone straight to your room, but lately Jake had been staying holed up behind his door, and the living room felt strangely empty without him.
You dropped your bag, pulled a beer from it, popped it open, and took a long drink before letting yourself sink down onto the floor. The robot lingered nearby, hovering like it was waiting for something.
You stared at it for a second, exhaled slowly, and shook your head. "Do you know how to say anything besides hi?" you asked it quietly.
The robot blinked, its animated eyes widening and shrinking in a way that almost felt intentional, and you huffed out a weak smile despite yourself. Your fingers hovered over its smooth, round surface, stopping just short of touching it. "I don't really know shit about these things," you muttered, gesturing vaguely at it, "but aren't you supposed to be, like... a comfort robot or something? The kind people put on their desks so they don't feel so damn alone." You tilted your head, squinting at it. "But you're round. And you roll. You're like... a vacuum with feelings."
The robot blinked again.
You took another sip of your beer, the bitterness sitting heavy on your tongue. "I think I'm so lonely I might cry," you admitted, voice cracking just a little as a hiccup slipped out of you. You set the beer aside and started peeling off your protective gear, fingers clumsy, dropping the pads onto the floor one by one. Bruises bloomed across your skinโdark, ugly marks layered over older ones.
"I don't want to be a libero anymore," you said flatly, staring down at your legs. "God, why am I not rich? Or smart? Or just... lucky for once."
You looked back at the robot, its eyes fixed on you like it was actually listening. "I wish I had someone," you continued. "Someone who'd hug me after games. Someone I could talk to when training's over and my body feels like it's about to give out." You scoffed and lifted a finger, pointing at it like you were lecturing. "You know my teammates? Let me introduce you, since apparently you're the only thing paying attention right now."
"So there's Karina," you said, holding up one finger. "She's our setter, loud as hell, always running her mouth, and yeahโshe's dating the basketball captain." Another finger. "Rei's the youngest, dating some art dancer who comes to all her games and cries like a baby." Another. "Giselle's gay, she's in a relationship, and Ningning's with her. I swear they fight all the time, but it's kinda cute because they're both middle blockers and stubborn as shit." You kept going, listing names, relationships, connections, until your hand dropped back into your lap. "Winterโwell, that's not even her real name. And Yunjin, Yuna, Yeji, Ryujin... all in relationships."
You leaned back against the sofa, sliding down slightly as you sat on the floor, staring up at the ceiling like it might have answers. "Everyone has someone," you whispered.
"Why... am I such a fucking loser?" you laughed, the sound is too loud in the quiet apartment, echoing for a second before it died out. The laugh collapsed in on itself, and you buried your face in your hands, shoulders shaking as tears burned behind your eyes. You didn't bother wiping them away when they spilled over, there was no one around to see you breakโjust a robot blinking back at you, silently witnessing everything you'd been holding in for far too long.
"I want someone," you choked out into your palm, the words are so ugly and bare, pathetic in a way that hurt to admit out loud. You dragged your hands down your face and looked at the robot again, eyes wet, vision blurry. "God, that sounded so fucking sad," you laughed weakly.
"Maybe you should ask your owner to build me one of those realistic human robots." You sniffed, wiping your nose with the back of your hand. "Ask him to make one for me, yeah? Since apparently I can't even talk to him like a normal person."
Your laugh came again, tears still sliding down your cheeks as you shook your head. You leaned back against the couch, staring up at the ceiling, words spilling out now that you'd opened the floodgates. "I want him to make me a boyfriend with high emotional intelligence," you said bitterly, counting it off in your head like a stupid wish list. "Someone who'd cook me healthy meals that actually fit my training, because finding decent food is a nightmare. Someone who'd show up to every tournament, even the shitty ones, and cheer for me."
Your voice dropped. "Someone who'd listen. Someone who wouldn't freak out when I'm exhausted or pissed or quiet. Someone who'd talk to me through the hard days instead of making me feel like I'm too much." You swallowed, chest tight, then let out a shaky breath. "And yeah," you added, snorting through your tears, "someone who'd fuck me hard enough to knock the stress out of my body and make me forget everything else for a while. How does that sound, huh?"
For a second, there was only the low hum of the apartment. Then the robot's screen shifted, animated eyes changing as a little emoticon popped upโround, pink, unmistakably blushing.
Your eyes widened. Then you burst out laughing, real laughter this time. "No fucking way," you said between laughs, wiping at your face. "Did you just blush at that?" You leaned closer, still grinning like an idiot through tear-streaked cheeks. "Are you programmed with PG-13 only or what?"
The robot blinked once, then shook its round body side to side like it was offended. You gasped dramatically, pointing at it. "Oh my god. You are judging me." You sniffed, then tilted your head. "Okay, smartass. What does the fox say?"
The screen flickered. Suddenly the robot's eyes morphed into exaggerated fox eyes, whiskers popping up on either side as its little screen started wobbling in place.
"Tingining-ngining-ngining."
You choked on your own laughter, hands slapping against the floor as you doubled over. "Noโno wayโstop," you wheezed, laughing harder as the robot kept dancing, completely unbothered. Tears streamed down your face again, but this time they were from laughing so hard your chest hurt.
You stayed there for hours after that, talking absolute nonsense to it, asking stupid questions, daring it to do random shit, reacting like it was some kind of miracle instead of a rolling piece of metal with a screen. At some point your words slowed, your body sagged, and without even realizing it, you slid down where you sat, head resting against the sofa, eyes finally drifting shut.
Morning came and you woke up confused, the first thing you registered being how soft everything felt. You were lying on the sofa, not the floor like you remembered, a blanket pulled up around you, tucked snugly enough. You blinked, staring at the ceiling, then shifted slightly and froze. Your skin felt... warm. Not sore in the usual way. When you pushed the blanket aside, you saw neat bandages wrapped around your bruises, carefully placed, clean, and faintly scented with something herbal that made your muscles relax just breathing it in.
"What the fuck..." you murmured, sitting up slowly. Your head wasn't pounding. You weren't dizzy. You definitely weren't drunk enough to forget doing this. You glanced around the living room, heart starting to thump harder as pieces didn't line up. The robot sat docked in its corner, screen dark. The apartment was quietโtoo quiet.
You dragged the blanket tighter around yourself, staring at your own hands. Did you do this? No. You would've remembered bandaging yourself. And the smell, so warm, so clean, so comfortingโit wasn't yours. Your chest fluttered uncomfortably. Of course you weren't stupid. You weren't that fucking oblivious. Someone had moved you. Someone had carefully lifted your dead weight off the floor, arranged you on the sofa, wrapped a blanket around you like you were fragile instead of a grown woman who could bench half the team. Someone had cleaned you up, bandaged your bruises, and let you sleep it off instead of waking you or leaving you there like a mess. And there was really only one person in that apartment who would've done it.
Jake.
Jake.
Heat start crawling up your neck as your brain started filling in the blanks you didn't want answers to. Why the fuck would he do that? You stared down at the bandages again, fingers hovering over them. You didn't remember waking up. You didn't remember him touching you. It was only a beer, sure, but you'd been emotional, rambling, spilling your guts to a robot like a lunatic.
God. What if you'd talked in your sleep? What if you'd laughed too loud, cried harder, said something you shouldn't have? Worseโwhat if you'd drunkenly confessed how fucking lonely you were, how badly you wanted someone, how much you'd been thinking about him without ever meaning to? The thought made your face burn. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
You couldn't look at him after that. You didn't even try.
For the next few days, you turned into a ghost in your own apartment, timing everything around him without even meaning to. Training ended at 6:30, but you didn't go home until eleven, sometimes closer to midnight, killing time wherever you couldโlate dinners, extra stretching or workouts, pointless walksโuntil you finally started crashing at Ryujin's place in the next building over. Her couch became familiar, her fridge raided, her complaints ignored. Anything to avoid running into him in the living room, anything to avoid seeing that awkward smile and wondering what the fuck he knew about you now.
Your head wasn't in the game either, and it showed.
"You seriously need to stop pulling faces on court," Ryujin said one afternoon, shoving her phone in your face while you were still catching your breath. Sweat dripped down your temples as you squinted at the screen, instantly recognizing the photoโyour body low in a squat, eyes sharp, eyebrow raised, jaw set like you were ready to kill someone. The sports journalist had caught you mid-focus, mid-intimidation, and it was already blowing up on the university page.
"What do you want me to do?" you snapped, irritated, pushing the phone away. "Smile at the other team?"
"At least look... approachable?" she said, shrugging. "I mean, that's your default face, yeah, but you know when I first met you, I thought you hated me."
You glanced at her, pausing.
"You didn't talk to me for weeks when I joined," she continued, stretching her calves casually. "I legit thought I pissed you off somehow. Then one day you just asked me to grab lunch with you like nothing happened, and that's when I realized you were actually nice. Just... intense."
You scoffed, rubbing the back of your neck. "That's just how I am."
Unfortunately for you, that day lined up perfectly with everyone else having a life. Ryujin had a date with her girlfriend, Karina was off doing couple shit with hers, and you were left with too much energy and nowhere to dump it. You went to the gym even though training had ended early, pushing yourself through another pointless workout just to avoid going home, until your muscles finally protested enough to force you to stop. By the time you dragged yourself back to the apartment, it was already 7:04 PM.
You unlocked the door and stepped inside, pretending to be deeply invested in your phone as you kicked off your shoes and slid them into the rack beside your roommate's. The apartment was calm in that familiar way, and right on cue, there he wasโ Jake was fresh out of the bathroom, towel slung loosely over his shoulder, wearing those ridiculous dinosaur slippers. Seven o'clock. Of course. You could already tell he was winding down, getting ready for his absurdly early bedtime.
Your eyes met for half a second. You looked away immediately, pulse kicking hard against your ribs. You walked past him like you didn't care, thumb scrolling mindlessly through takeout apps you weren't even reading, already reaching for your bedroom doorknob when his voice stopped you.
"IโI always... uh... cook food f-for dinner..."
You froze, fingers tightening around the knob as your brain scrambled to process what you'd just heard. You turned your head slightly, not fully facing him, afraid that if you did your face would give you away. He was standing a few steps behind you, shoulders tense, eyes glued somewhere near the floor.
"I-If you want to eat," he added quickly, words tripping over each other, "uh... it's on the table..."
Before you could say anythingโbefore you could even decide what the hell you wanted to sayโhe retreated, practically speed-walking into his room and shutting the door.
You stood there in the hallway, hand still on the doorknob, staring at nothing. What the fuck was that?
You could order takeout. Obviously. That had been the plan. But this was the first time he'd actually initiated anything. Was this his way of talking to you? Of trying? Why were you even overthinking this? It was just food. Fucking food. "Get a grip," you muttered, yanking off your varsity jacket and tossing it over the chair. Curiosity won anyway. You walked toward the table and lifted the food cover, already telling yourself it was just about saving money, nothing else.
Your mouth watered instantly. In front of you was a Chicken breast that are perfectly cooked. Sweet potato, roasted just enough. Steamed broccoli, still bright green, not soggy, not sad. This is kind of meal athletes killed themselves. The kind of meal you'd complained about not having time or money to prep a hundred times. "You've gotta be fucking kidding me," you whispered. This was exactly what your body needed. You might've laughed if you weren't so close to crying. After weeks of exhaustion, shitty schedules, loneliness you pretended didn't exist, here was this quiet, nerdy, awkward roommate who barely looked you in the eyeโcoincedently cooking the perfect post-training dinner.
You didn't even bother pretending to be civilized about it. You dropped into the chair and dug in like you hadn't eaten in days, shoveling food into your mouth with zero shame, chewing fast, shoulders finally loosening as real fuel hit your system. The chicken was tender, the sweet potato was so soft, the broccoli exactly how you liked it, and you were too busy inhaling everything to notice the soft whirring near your feet.
"Hi," the robot chirped, rolling up beside your chair like it always did.
You waved it off vaguely, mouth full, head down, focused on the plate. It didn't even cross your mind then that the robot hadn't been greeting you lately when you came home past midnight, that it used to roll toward you every time. You were too hungry, too focused, too busy scraping the plate clean to notice anything beyond the food in front of you.
The next day, you came home a little earlier than usual, around eight. Training had been brutal, your legs shaking by the time you unlocked the door, and you were already mentally preparing yourself for instant noodles or whatever garbage you could throw together without collapsing. Instead, you stopped short.
Another meal sat on the table.
This time it was tofu stir-fry with rice, still covered, steam faintly trapped beneath the lid. The robot sat docked beside the table like it was guarding the food, screen dark, finally resting. You glanced toward the sink and noticed a single plate already washed and set asideโproof that Jake had eaten earlier. Your stomach growled embarrassingly loud.
You didn't overthink it. You just sat down and ate, quietly this time. God's perfect, it was convenience. Timing. Coincidence. That he probably cooked in bulk and didn't want leftovers to go bad. You definitely didn't think about how the portions were always just right for you, or how the meals lined up perfectly with your training load.
And then it kept happening.
The next day. And the day after that. And the day after that. Sometimes you came home early and ate while he was already locked in his room. Sometimes you came home late and the food was still there, waiting. You rarely saw him. You rarely spoke. But you ate. Every night.
Every night, no matter what time you came home, there was food waiting. Always balanced. Always exactly what your body needed, like someone had been paying attentionโreally paying attentionโto what an exhausted athlete needed to survive. You stopped ordering takeout without even realizing it. Your fridge stayed full longer. Your energy during training didn't crash as hard. Your muscles recovered faster.
"You're gaining weight," your coach said one afternoon, flipping through his clipboard as he read off numbers.
Your heart jumped. "Huh? Is that a bad thing?" you asked, nerves creeping up your spine.
He raised an eyebrow, then snorted. "No. It's a good thing." He looked up at you, "I've been telling you to eat more for months. Looks like you're finally listening." He closed the clipboard and stepped closer, ruffling your hair roughly. "Finals are coming up. You need more muscle if you want to keep up your defense."
You laughed awkwardly, nodding along.ย Don't think about it too much. Don't think about it too much. Don't think about it too much. It's healthy, right? That's all that matters. Your body feels better, stronger, steadier during drills. You don't feel like you're about to collapse halfway through practice anymore. Whatever you're eating is exactly what your body needs. Exactly what it's been begging for. And yeahโfuckโit's also exactly what your heart didn't know it was starving for, but you're not touching that thought. Not with a ten-foot pole.
"What if he's purposely cooking too much so you'll eat?" Karina had said earlier, lips curled into that wicked smile she always wore when she knew she was poking at something sensitive.
No. Absolutely not. You refused to let that sink in. You wouldn't let her words crawl under your skin and set everything on fire again. Roommates do this shit. People share food. People are nice without ulterior motives. It's normal. It's fucking normal. Just because you're a hopeless romantic doesn't mean you get to project that onto someone who's clearly just... kind. Assuming otherwise would make things awkward again, and you were done with awkward.
With training dismissed early that day, you stopped by the grocery store on your way home, wandering the aisles without much thought until something familiar caught your eye. Chocolate almond milk. The same brand. The one he always drank in the mornings. You stared at it for a second longer before grabbing and tossing it into your basket.
You got home at 5:30 PM sharp.
The smell of savory cooking hit you the moment you stepped inside. Jake stood in the kitchen wearing an apron, moving carefully between the counter and the stove. Soft music played in the background, Cigarettes After Sex, of all things.
When he noticed you, he startled like he'd been caught. His eyes widened, body jerking awkwardly as he took a step back, then forward, clearly unsure what to do with himself. "Y-You're h-hereโ waitโ"
"Groceries," you said quietly, cutting him off before he could spiral, offering a small smile as you set the plastic bag on the table. You pulled out the carton of almond milk and held it up slightly. "I bought you this."
He stared at it, his mouth fell open just a little, eyes flicking from the carton to your face and back again, cheeks already starting to color.
"I've been eating your food for a week," you added, shrugging lightly, forcing your voice to stay steady. "Consider it a thank you."
"T-Thank you," he whispered, eyes flicking up to yours for half a second before he turned his back, shoulders hunching slightly as he went back to stirring whatever was on the stove.
You busied yourself with the groceries, unloading them one by one. Yogurts into the fridge. Vegetables in the crisper. Almond milk placed carefully on the shelf where you'd seen his before. When you were done, you grabbed your bag, already planning to retreat to your room and give both of you space, because that was safer.
"H-Hey." His voice stopped you mid-step.
You turned around slowly, heart doing that stupid stutter again, and found him standing by the table with two plates in his hands. He set them down carefully, and for a moment he actually held your gaze. Really held it. The eye contact made something like an electric flicker through you that you almost looked away firstโbut then he broke it, eyes darting off to the side like he'd just realized what he was doing.
"Let'sโ I-I cooked dinner," he said, words tumbling over each other. "There's a-a lot, so l-let's share."
Fuck. You swallowed, nodded, and quietly took a seat across from him before your mouth could betray you by saying something stupid. You both served yourselves rice in silence, the clink of utensils and the low hum of the music filling the space between you. The food was good and for a few minutes you just ate, letting the tension settle instead of fighting it.
"You listen to CAS?" you asked eventually, nodding toward the speaker.
He froze for a split second, shoulders tensing. "Y-Yeah," he said softly. "I... uh... it helps me focus. And... relax." He glanced up at you, then away again, fingers tightening around his chopsticks. "Y-You?"
"Casual listener," you replied, reaching for the rice bowl again without thinking, scooping out another generous serving and plopping it onto your plate. "I prefer loud music. Like, really loud." You shrugged, already chewing as you talked, words slightly muffled because that was just how you ate. "It helps me focus during workouts, especially during hard training days. Phonk music, mostly. Some of my teammates are into it, so I kinda adopted it." You rambled on, barely realizing how much food you'd shoved into your mouth, cheeks full, posture relaxed in a way you hadn't been around him before.
There was a brief pause, you were still chewing when Jake quietly leaned forward and placed the last slice of meat onto your plate. The movement made you stop mid-bite. Your eyes dropped to the food, then lifted slowly to him, finding him watching you with that same awkward concentration, lips pressed together before they curved into a small, uncertain smile.
"I-I listen to music similar to CAS," he continued, voice gaining a bit of momentum like he was warming up. "A-And wave to earth too, b-because it helps me calm my mind. Makes it easier to sleep early." He scratched the back of his neck, clearly rambling now, which somehow made it worse in the best way.
Your brain short-circuited. Fully. You stared at him for a second too long, then forced yourself to finish chewing, swallowing slowly as you tried to get your thoughts back in order.
"Iโ" you started, then stopped, laughing awkwardly under your breath. "Yeah. That... checks out." You gestured vaguely with your chopsticks. "I mean, I noticed you go to bed at eight." You let out another small laugh, embarrassment creeping in fast. "That stupid sign on the wall finally made sense."
His ears turned red almost instantly. "S-Sorry," he blurted out. "I didn't mean to be... annoying."
"It's not annoying," you said immediately, a little too fast, shaking your head like your life depended on clearing that up. The last thing you wanted was for him to retreat back into himself again. "It's just... different." You hesitated, then added more softly, "Kinda impressive, actually. Most college students have completely fucked body clocks and awful habits." You snorted lightly. "Speaking from experience."
He nodded, relief loosening his shoulders just a bit. "Uh... yeah. I-I try not to pick up bad habits," he said. "I-I value time a lot. What we do and what we eat affects how our body p-performs." He gestured vaguely at the table, at the food. "If I get sick, a-a lot of time gets w-wasted."
You stared at him, chopsticks paused halfway to your mouth.
Okay. What the fuck. This guy went to bed at eight, didn't drink caffeine, cooked balanced meals, and talked wisely about time and health. Made you want to smack yourself for ever writing him off as just some awkward nerd with Lego sets and robots. You could feel it now, that pull in your chest, that annoying curiosity digging deeper, urging you to peel back more layers you hadn't even known were there.
And God help you, he was talking. Actually talking. To you.
"Yeah," you said, finally swallowing your bite. "You're right." You leaned back slightly in your chair, lips twitching as you tried to play it off. "Teach me your ways, then. I clearly need your level of dedication." What the fuck are you saying?
He blinked, then let out a small, surprised sound that might've been a laugh. "I-I'm not that dedicated," he said quickly, waving a hand like he was swatting the idea away. "Just... organized."
"Sure," you replied, smirking faintly. "That's what all disciplined people say."
He ducked his head, embarrassed again, but this time it was lighter in the air. Less tension.
And it made it really fucking hard to pretend you didn't care.
The next day proved that. You didn't even linger after training like you usually did. No extra laps, no pointless cooldowns, no killing time just to avoid going home. You showered, changed, and headed straight back, heart thudding with a stupid mix of anticipation and denial. When you opened the apartment door, the familiar sounds of the soft whirr of the robot vacuums roaming the floor and the muted clatter of pans from the kitchen greeted you immediately. He was cooking again!
"I bought apples," you said, setting the bag down on the table.
Jake glanced over his shoulder, offered you a quiet, "Hi," paired with that same awkward smile that somehow felt less awkward every time you saw it. He turned back to the stove, setting down platesโrice, and vegetable soup. And yeah, his dinners were always exactly what you were supposed to be eating after training. Jackpot was an understatement.
"Is it okay if I eat with you?" you asked, already pulling out a chair and sitting down like you'd made the decision before finishing the sentence. "I mean, you cook for yourself."
"Of course... I-It's okay," he said quickly, nodding.
You watched him a little too closely, waiting, hoping he'd say more instead of retreating into silence. He hesitated, eyes flicking toward you, then away, lips parting as if he was debating with himself. "I-I've been cooking more these days," he admitted. "B-Because... uh... I was thinking of gaining weight myself, b-but I think my appetite c-can't really keep up."
"Ohhh," you said, snapping your fingers. "Yeah, that makes sense." You leaned forward, already getting animated without realizing it. "You're gonna need a loooot of protein for that. My coach never shuts up about it, especially for me. Defense needs muscle, apparently." You laughed lightly, rambling now, turning toward him with an easy smile as you scooped soup straight into your rice. "My budget's always shit though, so I rely on protein powders and gym meals."
He nodded slowly, listening, before going quiet again and digging into his food. Somehow, that quiet didn't feel awkward. It felt comfortable.
You didn't notice how relaxed you looked, how your shoulders dropped, how your expression softened as you ate. You didn't notice how naturally you mirrored his pace, slowing down, breathing easier. You definitely didn't notice the way your heart jumped when he picked up one of the apples you'd bought, peeled it carefully, and slid it onto your plate without a word.
Your pulse spiked, so stupid and fast. "Thanks," you murmured, suddenly very aware of him sitting across from you, of how close this all felt without crossing any lines.
God, don't read into it too much. You told yourself that firmly. He's just nice. He's your roommate. He cooks. He shares. He listens.
But fuckโhow were you not supposed to like him when he made space for you so quietly, when being around him started to feel like rest?
"It felt nice," you sighed, sprawled flat on the court with your arms stretched above your head. Sweat cooled against your skin as the basketball players ran laps around you. Karina sat beside you, legs crossed, phone in hand, thumbs flying across the screen. She glanced down at you, eyebrows lifting slowly, curiosity sharpening her expression as she clocked how distant you looked.
"What exactly feels nice?" she asked, frowning. "Because it sure as hell isn't sharing the court with these fuckers. Our training schedule's been cut all week." She tilted her chin toward the far end of the court, where her boyfriend was jogging past, shirt clinging to him. She grimaced. "Look at him. I bet he smells like an ass."
You huffed out a weak laugh but didn't move, eyes fixed on the ceiling lights glowing overhead. "It just... feels nice," you repeated. Your voice dipped as the thought finally slipped out. "Am I really that lonely that I start liking someone just because they pay a little attention to me?" You swallowed, jaw tightening. "I mean, I already knew I was fucked the moment I caught myself thinking about him while touching myself, and we hadn't even had a proper conversation. Just you, planting bullshit ideas in my head like a menace."
"Oh my God," Karina gasped, dropping her phone instantly. She rolled onto the floor beside you, mirroring your position but turning onto her side to face you, eyes wide and way too excited for your liking. "Is this about your cute nerd roommate again?"
You didn't answer. You kept staring at the lights, blinking slowly, letting the words tumble out because once they started, it felt impossible to stop. "He cooks extra food without making it a thing," you said. "Like it's nothing. And I eat it. And sometimes I talk. Just starting dumb shit about my day. And that night I passed out on the floor, he carried me to the couch and wrapped my bruises, and I woke up with bandages that actually helped." Your throat tightened. "So what, Karina? Am I really that pathetic for feeling like this?"
Karina stared at you for a long moment, her teasing expression finally softening. She reached out and poked your forehead. "First of all, shut up," she said gently. "Second of all, you're not pathetic. You're human." She sighed and lay back, hands folded on her stomach. "You're exhausted. You train like a beast, you carry your team, and you come home to an empty room most nights. Of course small kindness feels huge right now."
You turned your head slightly, finally looking at her. "But what if I'm just projecting?" you asked. "What if I'm clinging to scraps because I don't want to feel alone anymore?"
"That's called being aware," she replied. "Not desperate." She nudged your shoulder. "And listen to me. You're not imagining things out of nowhere. He didn't have to cook extra. He didn't have to move you. He didn't have to take care of your bruises. Those are choices." She paused, then added carefully, "Does that mean he's in love with you? No. But it means you're not crazy for feeling something."
You exhaled slowly, chest easing just a little. "I don't even know what I want," you admitted. "I just know it feels... safe. And that scares the shit out of me."
Karina smiled softly. "Good. It should scare you a little. That means it matters. Lmao." She squeezed your hand. "Just don't rush it. Let it breathe. You're allowed to want someone. You're allowed to be taken care of sometimes."
You smiled faintly to yourself. Right. Don't rush. Go with the flow. Let it breathe. Jake probably had no idea what was spiraling around in your head anyway. You could keep this normal, no stupid fantasies. There was nothing to lose if you kept it like that... right?
"You can call them Whitey, Pinky, and Bumble," Jake said casually, gesturing toward the living room.
You followed his hand. The two vacuum robots were roaming around like usual, bumping gently into chair legs and correcting themselves. The pink one spun lazily near the couch, the white one hovered closer to the dining table, and Bumbleโthe one with the animated eyesโwas docked near the TV, screen dimmed as she recharged.
You almost snorted. It was stupid how endearing it felt. Any other time, with any other guy, you'd probably be weirded the fuck out. But with Jake? It just slid into place too easily, like another quiet, odd piece of him you were already getting used to. White robot: Whitey. Pink robot: Pinky. And Bumble... because apparently it's soft blue glow reminded him of a bumblebee.
"That's... very on the nose," you said, lips twitching as Whitey rolled dangerously close to your foot. You shifted your leg, and the robot obediently veered away. "Does your course actually teach you this stuff, or are you just secretly a scientist?"
Jake let out a small, embarrassed laugh. "Uh... I'm a civil engineer," he said, rubbing the back of his ear. "B-But I have a friend. He's... uh... computer and electrical engineering." He hesitated, words tangling like they always did when he tried to explain himself. "We... sometimes make things."
You leaned back against the chair, listening.
"Bumble was... uh..." He paused, glancing toward the robot like he was checking if she could hear him. "She was supposed to be a vacuum robot for desks. It was for our Grade 12 STEM research. But our teacher said vacuum robots were too common, and we... didn't know enough about coding back then." He shrugged awkwardly. "So we just... continued it anyway. Changed her design. That's why she's small."
Oh.
You blinked. Of course he had friends like that. Smart, curious, building things just because they could. Of course he carried projects from years ago instead of throwing them away. And of course he called the robot she, like she was a person, or a pet, or something he cared about.
"That's actually kind of impressive," you said honestly, eyes flicking back to Bumble. "You kept working on her even after the project ended."
Jake's shoulders lifted slightly, then dropped. "I... didn't want to waste it," he said quietly. "Time, I mean."
And there it was again, that quiet, infuriatingly gentle way he treated time and effort, like both were fragile things you weren't supposed to waste or throw around carelessly. God, he was cute.
You hated how easily it slipped past your defenses, how your brain kept screaming don't read into it while your body already had its own stupid opinions. Still, you couldn't deny it anymore, not even to yourself. Something had shifted. Maybe a door cracked open, maybe you'd just stopped bracing so hard, but suddenly there was space between you that didn't feel awkward or tense. It felt... safe. Comfortable. Like you didn't have to perform or fill the silence for once. And the fucked up part was, what you'd said earlier was true.
It really did feel nice.
"I... cook for breakfast," he said one morning while you were tying your shoes, backpack already slung over your shoulder, half-awake and mentally preparing yourself to survive another long day. "D-do you want to eat before you go?"
You should've said no. You almost always grabbed coffee and whatever sad snack you could find on campus, ate standing up, rushed through everything like your life. But you just nodded, sitting at the table in the early morning light, eating something warm and balanced while he moved quietly around the kitchen, you realized your shoulders weren't tight for once. You weren't rushing. You weren't thinking about the next thing you had to do.
It felt nice. Way too nice.
Later that week, after a practice match wrapped up earlier than expected, you found yourself standing outside his door, heart beating faster than it should've over something so stupid. You knocked anyway. When he opened the door a minute later, one earphone dangling loose, hair slightly messy, that familiar awkward smile creeping onto his face, you almost chickened out.
"Am I... disturbing you or something?" you asked, forcing a casual tone that didn't quite hide the nerves twisting in your gut. He shook his head, and you felt the tension in your shoulders finally ease.
"Uh... I was just fixing my books," he said. "Why?"
You took a breath, then another. "I bought snacks. Chips and stuff," you said, holding up the bag. "I was just wondering if you... wanted to watch a movie with me."
Immediately your brain started spiraling, tearing you apart for how you phrased it. Too direct. Too demanding. You should've softened it, given him an out, made it sound like an optional, no-pressure thing. God, what if this was crossing some invisible roommate line? You braced yourself for rejection, already rehearsing how you'd laugh it off, how you'd pretend you weren't embarrassed if he said no. You told yourself it was fine. You hoped he'd be gentle about it if he did.
"Uh, sure," he said after a beat, smiling that shy, crooked smile. "Let me fix my things quick."
You ended up on the couch together, a polite distance between you, snacks spread across the table. 50 First Dates played on the screen, and even though some scenes were objectively funny, you found yourself holding back, afraid of laughing too loud. You were hyperaware of everythingโyour posture, the way you chewed, the way your knee bounced slightly with leftover adrenaline.
Then Jake laughed, mouth full of chips, a soft, unguarded sound that slipped out before he could stop it. You froze, turning to look at him, watching the way his shoulders hunched as he laughed, how genuine it was, how unfiltered. And fuck. Something loosened in you. You smiled before you could stop yourself, then laughed too.
It felt nice, and you weren't used to nice things sticking around without demanding something in return.
Jake wasn't some mystery anymore, not really, at least not on paper. Third-year Civil Engineering student, double scholar, university-funded and government-backed, the kind of rรฉsumรฉ that made professors nod approvingly and parents brag to relatives. President's Lister every damn semester, GWA floating between 1.27 and 1.46. You learned these things not because he braggedโhe never didโbut because papers were left on the table, emails popped up on his phone screen when it lit up, certificates tucked neatly into folders he handled with care. He was impressive in a way that didn't shove itself in your face.
As a roommate, Jake was... steady. Organized without being controlling, balanced in a way that made you painfully aware of how messy your own routines were. He slept at eight, woke up early, moved through the apartment. You noticed small things you shouldn't have been paying attention to, like how he liked sour candy and kept a stash hidden in one drawer, how his fingers fidgeted when he was nervous or thinking too hard, how he couldn't leave broken things alone. A loose screw, a cracked hinge โhe'd insist it was still usable, still salvageable, like throwing something away felt wrong to him on a fundamental level. Sometimes you wondered if that applied to people too, if he believed everything and everyone could be fixed if you just gave it enough patience.
You noticed more than you meant to. Jake liked stars, documentaries about space that played quietly in the background while he worked, liked the ocean even though he rarely talked about it, liked anything that revolved around science or math or systems that made sense. It was almost funny how predictable he was once you paid attention, how comforting that predictability became without you realizing it. You caught yourself syncing your schedule around his without meaning to, coming home earlier, lingering longer, listening for his footsteps like it mattered whether he was there or not.
It felt nice going home to someone, where the apartment didn't feel empty when you unlocked the door. Having someone to talk to, even if the conversations were simple and sometimes awkward, felt like relief after days filled with noise and expectations. Having someone prepare meals that actually made your body feel better instead of worse, someone who noticed when you were too tired to cook and never made you feel guilty for it, felt dangerously close to being taken care of. And doing nothing togetherโsitting on opposite ends of the couch, eating in silence, watching something stupid, sharing space without pressure.
"There's a typhoon coming up, and God help me with this heavy rainfall," Ryujin groaned dramatically, flopping onto the gym bleachers with her hands pressed against her temples. You could hear the rain hammering against the roof above. "My body is so fucking sore, finals are coming, and you're telling me I still have to endure a goddamn storm outside?" Her voice cracked at the end.
"You all act as if we're not aiming for nationals," Giselle said, bouncing the ball with an almost lazy precision, her eyes flicking sideways at the group of basketball players lounging at the edge of the court. They were obnoxiously loud, laughing and showing off, and Giselle's glare could've frozen them mid-air if that were even possible. She tossed the ball in your direction,ย and you tightened your grip, flexing your fingers around the ball, feeling the familiar pressure in your palms that meant focusโcontrol. You set yourself, crouched low, and spiked it with everything you had.
"They are already giving out tickets for the finals," Rei whined from the sidelines, dragging her towel across her shoulders as she leaned against the wall. "My boyfriend won't shut up because everyone is hyped about it. It's gonna sell out in like, five minutes." You snorted because, as usual, she was dramatic about everything, and as usual, you were the only one sitting there without someone to care or argue or plan with.
"Coach gave us tickets for our friends, right? Only two each! I need three for my boyfriend and his friends. Can some of you spare an extra?" Winter demanded, arms flailing slightly as she leaned toward Ningning and Giselle. "Giselle, give me yours! Ningning, come on, you're on our team!"
"No. We're giving them to our other friends," Ningning said sharply, slapping Winter's hands away.
"Not fair! I'll treat you to Taco Bell if you just give me one!" Winter snapped back. The rest of the team was clustered around, debating, negotiating, trading possibilities.
"Winter," you muttered, rolling your eyes even as you adjusted your feet and tossed the ball into the air, "just take my tickets. I don't have friends to give them to anyway." You tossed the volleyball up and down in your hands, practicing your set.
You could feel her gaze burning on you, even though you weren't looking directly. "Really?! Like, both of your tickets?" she pressed, a note of disbelief in her voice.
You barely had time to nod before the ball smacked you straight in the face, ricocheting sideways, and suddenly your brain betrayed you. Out of nowhere, an image of Jake popped into your headโhis stupid braces smile, the one that twisted your stomach every time you saw it, the one that made you stupidly aware of your own heartbeat and that little thrill you always swore wasn't there. You blinked, flustered, and hit the ball again, flinching slightly as the team waited.
"Actually... just one," you said quickly, fumbling for a way to sound casual. Karina let out a sharp whistle behind you, and Winter's lips pouted in mock outrage. "I was... planning to give it to my... friend," you added, stumbling over the lie.
"Wow, suddenly you have a friend!" Winter exclaimed with mock indignation, "but fine, that's cool! You promise that one is mine, no taking it back, ha!"
If you asked him to watch your game... would that be too personal? It wasn't like you were asking him to cheer for you, or scream your name from the stands, or wait for you after with flowers and sweaty hugs like your teammates' partners did. It was just a game. An outdoor thing... Still, it felt like crossing some invisible line, like letting him see a part of your life that didn't exist inside shared rent. Letting him see you as more than just his roommate who ate his food and sat beside him on the couch.
You told yourself not to overthink it, even though overthinking was already happening at full speed. It was normal. He was your roommate. You talked now. You shared meals. Of course you'd invite him. That's what normal people did, right? That's what people who weren't emotionally fucked did.
The thunder cracked overhead and rain poured down by the time you got home, your clothes damp, your muscles aching, your head buzzing with too many thoughts, the familiar hum of the TV filling the space. Jake was on the couch, exactly where you half-expected him to be, watching one of his documentaries, posture straightening the second he noticed you. You dropped your bag onto the table and rolled your shoulders.
"Hi," he said softly, eyes flicking up to meet yours before darting away again.
"Hi," you replied, sitting down beside him with that same respectful distance you'd both somehow agreed on without ever discussing it. Your eyes drifted to the screen, absorbing nothing of whatever science-heavy topic was playing.
The silence stretched, like both of you were waiting for permission to speak.
"I made salad earlierโ"
"Are you interested in sportsโ"
You both stopped at the exact same time, voices colliding awkwardly in the air. You turned toward him, mouth slightly open, blinking in surprise, and he mirrored you perfectly, eyes wide behind his glasses.
"You first," you said, exhaling a short laugh to break the tension.
He cleared his throat, nodding toward the dining table. "I made salad earlier. If you want to... I didn't expect you to be here early, so I didn't get to cook dinner right away..." His words tumbled out unevenly.
"Ah," you leaned back, glancing down at your feet. "It's okay. Coach said we should go home early to relax anyway. I'll eat it later. Thank you." Your voice softened without you meaning it to.
Another pause settled in. The documentary kept playing, some distant narration about oceans or planets or whatever, but neither of you were listening anymore. "So..." he started, breath hitching slightly as he stared at the floor. "What were you saying?"
This was it. Your chest tightened as you inhaled deeply, bracing yourself, forcing the words out before you could chicken out. "Are you interested in watching the tournament finals on the 24th?" you asked, eyes flicking toward him before darting away again. "I have a ticket, and I figured I could give it to you... if you want to."
The seconds that followed felt cruelly loud. You could hear the clock ticking, your heartbeat pounding in your ears, the rain still hammering outside. You stared at the floor, then at him, then anywhere but his face, mentally preparing yourself for whatever came next.
"I'mโ" he began, and you looked at him despite yourself. His mouth opened and closed like he was searching for the right words, hands fidgeting in his lap. Another beat passed, then another. "T-thank you," he said finally, voice quiet, apologetic. "But I'm not really into that... especially with big crowds. S-sorry." He squeezed his eyes shut afterward, like he was bracing for impact.
Oh.
Of course. It made sense. Crowds, noises, peopleโit was everything he avoided. You'd known that before you even asked. The game would start at six-thirty, probably end close to eight if it dragged on, loud and packed and overwhelming. Saying yes would've been completely out of character for him.
You forced a small nod, a smile you hoped looked convincing. "It's okay," you said quickly. "I figured. Just thought I'd ask."
And that should've been the end of it. You'd tried. You'd done the brave thing. That was enough. So why did disappointment settle in your chest anyway. Why did it sting more than you expected, like you'd been quietly hoping for something you had no right to hope for?
ย ย ย ย ย You were considered lucky, at least according to every bullshit horoscope Karina ever forced you to listen to during some booth event you never even wanted to attend. Apparently, the stars loved you. Apparently, fate had a soft spot for you. She once read aloud that you were supposed to fall down a flight of stairs when you were four years old, crack your head open, ruin everything before it even began, but some divine intervention stepped in and said no, not today. You survived childhood without dramatic tragedy, without scars that people could point at and say, see, that's where it all went wrong.
Back in elementary school, during tryouts, you didn't even know what defense really meant. You just knew you were fast, stubborn, and didn't like backing down when something came flying at you. Everyone else flinched, screamed, covered their faces, cried when the ball hit too hard. When the coach spiked it straight toward you, you reacted without thinking, arms locking, wrists steady. The ball bounced back clean, and just like that, you were a libero. Just like that, people said you were lucky, like it wasn't your reflexes, your pain tolerance, your refusal to be scared that made it happen.
Because luck, real luck, was supposed to feel good, and most of the time it didn't. On the court, when you spiked and the middle blockers mistimed their jump and sent the ball out of bounds, earning your team the point, you didn't feel joy. You just reset your stance and waited for the next play.
When allowance day came and you counted your money and realized you had just enough left to afford ramen for the week, people called you lucky, joked about your budgeting skills. You weren't happy then either. You were relieved, maybe, but relief tasted nothing like happiness.
And when your teammates whispered about how lucky you were for hooking up with that handsome men's volleyball player, the one everyone drooled over, they didn't know he was gay and spiraling through an identity crisis, and they sure as hell didn't know how awkward and hollow the sex was. They envied you. You lay there afterward staring at the ceiling, feeling nothing but discomfort and regret, wondering how something everyone hyped up could feel so fucking empty.
You were unlucky in the kind of life you wanted but couldn't seem to reach, no matter how many points you saved, how many games you won, how many scholarships you earned. You worked hard, you pushed your body past exhaustion, you sacrificed sleep and weekends and normal college shit, and yet when it came to the softer parts of living, the parts people took for granted, you always seemed to come up short. Love didn't land where it was supposed to. Comfort felt temporary, like something borrowed that could be taken back at any moment.
"God, aren't they being misogynistic?" Karina's voice exploded through your phone, echoing slightly because someone else in the group call was yelling at the same time. It was already past 10:36 in the evening and the Viber group call lit up your screen, faces popping in and out, voices overlapping, screenshots being spammed into the chat. One of them showed the Men's Volleyball Team's group chat from your university, their messages dripping with mockery, acting like your qualification to the finals was some kind of joke. Saying you wouldn't survive Men's Volleyball, telling you to stop being egoistic, laughing about how you "wouldn't even win against them" if you played on their side.
You turned the volume down as you started packing your things for tomorrow. Your mind was tired, body sore, and halfway through, you remembered your other bag was still in the living room. You scratched behind your ear and stood, phone still pressed between your shoulder and cheek, listening to the call as you padded out of your room. You didn't turn on the main lights, already knowing Jake would be asleep by now.
"I mean, it's completely different when it comes to force, agility, speed," you said calmly. "But skills? That's not gendered. The best response is no response. Their egos are just bruised because they didn't qualify. With that attitude, I doubt they ever will." You sighed softly, ducking into the living room and kneeling by your bag. "God help those boys."
"Like?!" Giselle yelled through the phone, her face practically vibrating with rage on your screen. "They're being fucking misogynistic! Did you see their group chat? They're mocking you specifically for being fierce during matches! Look at this shitโ'I can't wait for them to lose tomorrow, let's see if her fierce face stays then.' Bitch, I'm about to throw hands. Tell me to do something and I will."
You lowered the volume again, a small laugh slipping out despite yourself. Honestly, if you were being real, you didn't care that much. Not because it wasn't wrong, but because you were too damn tired to give their words any big deal. You started pulling unnecessary things out of your gym bag, tossing wrappers and old tape into the bin. Men talking shit was practically background noise at this point.
Then your hand froze. The ticket slipped into view between your fingers. You held it there, two fingers pinching the corner, staring at it like it might say something back. The girls were still yelling in the background, voices overlapping, insults flying freely now.
"They're giving small dick energy," Yunjin chimed in loudly. "I mean, it's obvious. There's literally no imprint when they wear gray shorts."
You barely reacted. Your eyes stayed on the ticket, chest tight, thoughts drifting somewhere else entirely. Jake's awkward smile. His quiet apologies. The way he'd shut his eyes when he said no, like he hated disappointing you even when he hadn't done anything wrong. Sighs, he is so cute.
Without letting yourself think any further, you opened the bin and dropped the ticket inside. You grabbed your bag, stood up, and walked back into your room, shutting the door behind you with careful quiet.
When finals finally rolled around, you found yourself moving in circles, literally and figuratively, as the coach herded you into a tight formation at center court. Everyone's hands were linked, fingers brushing, gripping just enough to feel grounded. The coach, in his usual way, told you all to close your eyes and "ask the universe for guidance."
You closed your eyes, not because you believed in any divine intervention, not really. You were too much of a realist for that. Still, it felt nice, comforting even, to pretend. To hope. To imagine the universe leaned in and whispered, Yeah, you can do this. You will win, but not because of luckโbecause you earned it. Your shoulders loosened slightly, the tension in your jaw softening as you let yourself breathe into the ritual, even as every fiber of your body screamed with exhaustion from training.
Around you, the girls were buzzing with energy, eyes closed but faces alight, humming a silent rhythm of anticipation. Their drive from yesterday had carried overโKarina's fist clenched in quiet determination, Giselle bouncing slightly on her heels, Winter rocking back on the balls of her feet like she was about to launch herself forward. You felt a twinge of envyโhow easy it seemed for them to throw themselves into hope, to lean on belief, even if it was in some hokey pre-game ritual. You, meanwhile, were caught in this weird limbo between wanting to believe in the magic of it and knowing, deep down, that you relied on nothing but your own hands and legs to make anything happen.
Hm.
What else could tonight bring? Maybe a good meal after? You glanced at your teammates, at the VIP section with its flowers and loud supporters, thinking about how nice it would be if someone threw a bouquet your way too. Not that you deserved oneโhell, your muscles were probably going to scream at you tomorrow regardless. You almost snorted at yourself. Ridiculous. Wanting someone to soothe your sore body, to run a hand over a knot in your shoulder, to be there after everything, like it was some kind of reward for existing.
You could picture the universe rolling its eyes if it were a person. Slapping you upside the head. Really? You want that too? Just for surviving a volleyball match?
The corners of your lips twitched into a small, ironic smile as you closed your eyes again. You tried not to think about Jakeโthe way he cooked extra portions, the way he smiled awkwardly when he handed them to you. Not that it had anything to do with the universe or magic or divine intervention. Not really. And yet, as your fingers brushed against the hands of your teammates, as your legs trembled in anticipation of the first whistle, a tiny, secret part of you hoped he was somewhere out there, watching or thinking of you, maybe even wishing for you in his quiet, careful way. Geez, so out of reach.
The whistle blew.
Finals was hell in the most honest way possible, finals dragged on longer than your lungs wanted and demanded more than your body should reasonably give. It was the most intense match of the season, not just because of the score, but because of what was hanging over everyone's heads. Regionals. You didn't just want it, you needed it. You had refused to back down this far. You were not about to stop now, not when nationals were just one brutal step closer.
The crowd roared every time you sprinted out of bounds, every time you threw your body after that fucking ball like it owed you money. You barely felt the sting when your chest slammed against the floor after a dive, only thinking it as something to deal with later. Adrenaline was pumping so hard your heartbeat felt louder than the whistles, louder than the screams. You pushed yourself up, sweat blurring your vision as you glanced at the other team, then back at your own. Everyone looked wrecked. Knees bent, hands on thighs, jerseys soaked through. You were all running on fumes and stubbornness at this point.
Your chest heaved as you sucked in air, the scoreboard flashing in the corner of your vision. Big mistake. Numbers swam in your head. Forty. Thirty-nine. Too close. Way too close. The noise pressed in on you from every direction, cheers crashing over your thoughts until it felt like your skull might split open. Fuck. Don't look. Don't think. You needed to make it into regionals. Regionals. You needed to make itโ
Huh?
Your eyes flicked to the VIP section without meaning to, drawn by something that didn't belong. Someone stiff. Someone painfully familiar. For half a second, your brain refused to process it, like it was some fucked-up hallucination brought on by exhaustion. But no. He was real. Sitting there in a Type D university uniform, shoulders tense, posture straight like he didn't know what to do with himself in a place this loud, this crowded. Jake. Your nerdy, early-sleeping, crowd-hating roommate. And in his left hand, of all things, he was holding a blue balloon.
What the fuck was Jake doing here?
Your heart stuttered, not from the game this time, but from the sheer wrongness of it. It was past eight!
When his gaze finally met yours, it was like the rest of the gym dropped out of existence. He gave you that same awkward, painfully familiar smile, the one that always looked like it was halfway between nervous and sincere. Then, slowly, he lifted his hand and waved. The crowd was deafening, chants and stomping and whistles crashing over each other, but somehow you still caught it. His lips moved, barely forming the words, but you read them clear as day.
Bring it home.
Your throat closed. Championship. He meant championship. And fuck, you didn't know how something so simple could rearrange you from the inside out. People always said liking someone made you stupid, made you corny, made you weak. Maybe it did. Because suddenly your chest felt too full, like someone had plugged you straight into a charger you didn't even know you were running on empty from. You dragged your eyes back to the court, licked your dry lips, tried to flatten your expressionโbut it was useless. The smile crept up anyway. You were smiling. Inside the fucking court. In the middle of finals. Like an idiot.
The whistle blew again, and instead of dread, something hot surged through you. You felt full. Fueled. Like the last hours of exhaustion had been replaced with pure, reckless purpose. Your legs moved before you thought, sprinting, cutting, diving. You hit the floor hard, again and again, arms burning as you popped the ball up just in time. The pain was there, sure, but it didn't slow you down.
You got up grinning, clapping for your teammates, shouting encouragement you never fucking shouted before.
They stared at you like you'd lost your mind. Probably because you had. You never did this shit. You were the quiet one, the focused one, the one who saved the ball and moved on. But now you were smiling at them, slapping hands, nodding like yeah, we've fucking got this. And weirdly, it worked.
You planted your feet again, wiping your sweaty palms against your shorts, lungs burning as you bent into position.
For regionals. For your team. For the boy in the VIP section holding a blue balloon like an idiot, who had no fucking idea he'd just become your lucky charm.
The serve came flying toward you.
And you didn't miss.
Your arms burned as the ball ricocheted cleanly upward, exactly where it needed to goโand then the whistle screamed through the gym. For half a second, everything froze. Your lungs forgot how to work. Your legs locked like they'd finally decided they were done carrying you.
"And just like that, with the score of 50โ43, Decelis Academy earns the champion title!"
The roar hit you like a fucking wave. It crashed into your chest, into your ears, into your bones. Your knees buckled, and if your teammates hadn't swarmed you immediately, you would've kissed the floor right there. Arms wrapped around you, lifting you up, spinning you, screaming into your hair. You screamed too hands flying to your face as tears spilled without permission. Your body shook, adrenaline still screaming even though the fight was over.
You did it. You fucking did it! The students from your university went feral in the stands, chants echoing, banners waving. Someone shoved a towel over your shoulders, someone else slapped your back hard enough to knock the air out of you. When they finally set you down, your legs wobbled like jelly, barely holding your weight. The trophy hadn't even been handed out yet, the awards still being organized, but your chest was already too full. Too loud. Too alive.
And then your eyes went to the bleachers.
He was standing. Not sitting stiff anymore, not hiding behind his shouldersโstanding, gripping the rail. Your nerdy little roommate. Your heart did that stupid thing again, skipping like it always did around him. Without thinking, without waiting, your feet moved on their own, carrying you toward him.
"Hi," you said when you reached him, breathless, sweaty, grinning like a fucking idiot.
"Hi," he replied, and his eyesโGod, his eyesโwere shining. Bright. Wide. Almost overwhelmed. "Y-You looked so cool," he said, words tumbling out faster than usual. "With all the defense, and the jumps, and the spikes, and the servesโ" His hands moved as he spoke, clumsy little gestures like he was trying to reenact the whole game at once.
Your heart softened so hard it almost hurt. You laughed. "It's already nine," you said, teasing, tilting your head. "You're supposed to be asleep."
He smiled and looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. "I couldn't miss something s-so cool," he admitted. "I don't know what other words to use, but... losing an hour or two of sleep is worth it." Then his brows pulled together, concern slipping in. "You dived really hard though. Does it hurt?" He pressed a hand to his own chest like he felt it too.
You laughed again, shaking your head. Thisโthis was the longest he'd ever talked to you without tripping over himself, and fuck, it was endearing as hell. "It's no big deal," you said lightly, tapping your foot against the ground. "I'm trained for that." Then, quieter, more honest, "Thanks for watching. It... feels nice. Knowing someone out there was actually watching me."
You glanced away, embarrassed by your own sincerity, then looked back just as he reached down and pulled something up from behind his chair.
Your heart fucking stopped.
The universe had jokes, apparently. Personal ones.
"Uh... f-for you," he said, holding it out with both hands. "For bringing pride to the Academy. And for... being the coolest roommate ever." He let out a nervous laugh. It was a LEGO bouquet. Big colorful bouquet, wrapped in pink. Painfully thoughtful. Flowers that wouldn't die. Flowers that fit him perfectly.
Your vision blurred before you even realized what was happening. You didn't think and didn't hesitate. You just movedโvaulting forward, ignoring the metal barrier between the court and the bleachers, throwing yourself straight into him. Your face buried against his neck. You clutched the bouquet awkwardly as your other arm wrapped around him like you were afraid he'd disappear.
He froze at first, breath hitching, body stiff with surprise.
Thenโslowly, carefullyโhis free arm came around your waist. It was hesitant in that painfully sincere way, like he was asking permission without words. His hand pressed flat against your back, warm through the thin fabric of your jersey, and after a second it began to moveโsmall, slow circles that comforted you, that reached somewhere deep inside your chest and eased something you didn't even realize had been clenched for years.
"Thank you," you whispered, voice breaking despite your effort to hold it together.
The tears still came anyway. It felt niceโno, it felt right. You trained your body to take hits, to throw yourself into floors, to stand tall and hard and unshakable. But here you were, soft as hell for a boy who held you like you might shatter if he squeezed too hard.
You slowly pulled back from the hug, and the distance between you was barely anything. Too close. Intimate in a way that made your breath hitch. You noticed everything at onceโhow sharp his nose was up close, how full his lips were when he wasn't biting them, how his skin smelled clean and familiar. Your arms were still looped around him, your fingers resting against his back and you were staring at his face like your brain had short-circuited.
His cheeks were flushed red, eyes wide, frozen.
"S-sorry," you blurted, snapping back to reality and pulling away.
Before the silence could swallow you whole, your teammates shouted your name, waving you over, yelling about awards and photos and medals. You swallowed hard, nodding as you stepped back, heart still beating stupidly fast.
You hesitated, then handed him the LEGO bouquet. "Hold this for me?" you said, already half-turning away before he could answer.
As you walked back toward the court, you bit down on your lip so hard it almost hurt, trying to stop the grin that threatened to split your face open. You swung your arms back and forth like that might shake the feeling out of your system. It didn't help. Not even a little. You could already imagine Karina's smug, knowing smile from a mile away.
Sure enoughโ
"Care to introduce us to your companion?" Karina teased, nudging you with her shoulder as medals were placed around your neck.
You rolled your eyes, cheeks burning.
The celebration dragged onโphotos, cheers, teammates getting swallowed by their partners, hugs turning into kisses, laughter spilling everywhere. When it finally became too much, you slipped away from the crowd.
And Jake was still there. Sitting on the bench. Waiting. Like he hadn't even considered leaving without you.
"Let's go home?" you asked softly, adjusting the strap of your bag on your shoulder, suddenly very aware of how tired your body was now that the adrenaline was fading.
He nodded immediately and stood up, a little too fast. His gaze dropped to your bag, then back up to you, then away again. He gestured vaguely toward it, fingers twitching at his side.
You frowned slightly. "Hm?" you asked, lifting your head to look at him, confused.
"Uh..." He scratched the back of his head, lips pressing together like he was debating something internally. His ears were already red. Without waiting for your response, he stepped closer and carefully took the bag from your shoulder, sliding the strap off you and onto himself instead. He left you holding only the LEGO bouquet.
"Oh," you said, letting out a small, awkward laugh.
You glanced around at the lingering crowd, then back at him, then anywhere but directly at his face.ย You swung your upper half just to bleed off the urge to scream, or laugh, or do something completely unhinged like grab his hand or kiss his stupid, careful mouth. Your heart was still racing, your muscles still buzzing, and now thisโthis quiet, domestic kind of careโwas hitting you harder.
The silence between you stretched as you walked back to the apartment. It wasn't awkward, not really, but it was loud in its own way. You could feel every unsaid thing vibrating in the air. You wanted to say somethingโanythingโbut every possible sentence felt like a trap you'd fall into and embarrass yourself with. So you stayed quiet. Let your footsteps match his. Let the city noise do the talking for you.
When you finally stepped inside the apartment, you froze.
The table was covered in foil and containersโdifferent shapes, different sizes, way more food than two people needed. And there, lined up neatly in the living room like little soldiers, were Whitey, Pinky, and Bumble, powered down, silent for once, which means only one thing. Jake had been here before the finals. Long before.
Your brain immediately went to war with itself.
Did he cook all of this before going to your game? Where the hell did he even get the ticket? How did he manage his timeโhis precious, carefully scheduled timeโto cook this much? Did he order it instead? Was this planned? Was this normal?
Why did he watch your game?
You watched him set your bag down gently on the couch. He moved toward the table, fumbling with the food covers, suddenly clumsy again.
"Uh... y'know, IโI wasn't supposed to watch," he started, almost rushed. "I ordered a bunch of meals for you to eat after, but... Iโ" He stopped himself, staring at the food like it might give him the right words. He scratched at his ear, shoulders curling inward. "Uh... I..."
"Thank you," you said, cutting him off gently before he could spiral any further.
He looked at you with wide eyes, you smiled at him and nodded as you sat down in the living room, the tension easing just enough to breathe again.
As usual, you ate in silence. And as usual, you ate comfortably around him. Shoving food into your mouth, muttering little "mm" sounds between bites, nodding at how good everything tasted, even closing your eyes like you were savoring.
And God, Jake really was the best roommate you'd ever accidentally asked the universe for.
If you thought about it too long, he felt like the only lucky thing that had ever landed in your life without strings attached. How being around him made you happy. How you didn't have to plan your words or armor yourself up. How you could be tired, bruised, vulnerable, and still be met with care instead of judgment.
When you finally finished eating, you leaned back with a satisfied sigh. "Thank you for the meal!" you said brightly, reaching out and slapping his back in a burst of affection.
Jake arched forward slightly and let out a soft whine, clearly not expecting it.
"Shitโsorry!" you laughed immediately, panic and amusement colliding as you rubbed the spot you'd hit. "I forget you're not built like one of my teammates."
He huffed out a shy laugh, shaking his head, ears red again.
By the time everything was packed up and wiped down, it was already past eleven. There were no leftoversโof course there weren't. Your body had burned through everything like fuel dumped straight into a fire. You stretched your arms over your head and volunteered to wash the dishes, half-joking that it was the least you could do after eating like a starved animal. Jake protested at first,ย shaking his head and mumbling something about it being fine, but after a bit of back and forth he gave in, hovering awkwardly nearby like he wasn't sure whether to help or get out of your way.
You worked side by side in silence, the comfortable kind this time. Plates clinking, water running. It felt domestic in a way that made you uneasy.
When you finished and wiped your hands dry, you crouched near Bumble, who was shut down and charging by the wall. It felt weird that it didn't greet you tonight. You had half a mind to flick it on just to hear that familiar robotic "Hi." You wanted to tell it everythingโthat you won, that you were heading to regionals, that you earned a title you'd bled for. That somehowโagainst all oddsโyou were developing feelings for its awkward, gentle owner without even meaning to. You snorted softly at yourself and patted Bumble's rounded top "I'll tell you tomorrow," you whispered, like it could hear you.
You grabbed a towel and headed to the bathroom. The hot water hit your skin and you hissed, muscles screaming in protest, bruises blooming darker under the steam. You leaned your forehead against the tile and let yourself breathe, replaying flashes of the nightโJake in the crowd, the balloon, the Lego bouquet, his arms around you. Fuck. You shook your head hard, rinsed off, and wrapped the towel around yourself before your thoughts went somewhere dangerous.
When you stepped back into the living room, hair damp and towel slung over your shoulder, you expected the lights to be dimmed and Jake to be long asleep like usual.
Instead, you froze.
He was still there, crouched near the wall, focused on powering down the vacuum robots one by one. Whitey and Pinky blinked to life, then began their slow, looping rounds across the floor, humming softly.
"Oh," you said before you could stop yourself. "You're... still not asleep."
Jake glanced up, startled, then pushed himself to his feet. "Y-Yeah," he replied, rubbing the back of his neck. "I... uh... I needed to shut them down properly. They, um... run better if I don't leave it for the morning."
You nodded and sat down on the couch, absently rubbing your hair with the towel, watching Whitey bump gently into the leg of the coffee table before redirecting itself. Your body sank into the cushions, heavy and spent, but your mind was still buzzing.
"Thanks," you added quietly, not looking at him. "For... everything. Tonight."
It suddenly sounded too intimate, too loaded, and you immediately regretted not cushioning it with a joke or some careless shrug. You could almost predict what would happen nextโhis shoulders stiffening, that polite little cough, the retreat.
Sure enough, you heard him clear his throat, footsteps padding toward his room, and you exhaled slowly. Do not be stupid about it.
The door clicked shut. You were already settling deeper into the couch, telling your heart to calm the fuck down, when the door opened again. You frowned, lifting your head just in time to see Jake step back into the living room with a small cloth in his hand. He didn't look at you right away. Instead, he moved to the refrigerator, rummaging around. You watched him with a crease between your brows, confused.
When he turned back around, your breath caught. He crossed the space between you without rushing, then knelt down in front of the couch. Your eyes widened as he gently took hold of your foot, so careful, his gaze fixed on the angry bruises blooming along your shin and ankle. Up close, they looked worseโswollen, and darkening.
"Waitโyou don't have to," you blurted, heat rushing up your neck. You reached for him instinctively, fingers closing around his wrist as if to stop him, suddenly hyper-aware of how close he was.
He shook his head before you could pull away. "J-Just... let me," he said quietly, his voice steadier than you'd ever heard it. "Please."
The word please was was sincere. Caring. Like this was something he wanted to do, not something he felt obligated to offer. Your grip loosened without you even realizing it, fingers slipping from his wrist as you gave a small nod, surrendering.
The cloth was cool when it touched your skin, and you hissed softly before the ache eased just enough to make you sag back against the couch. Jake worked carefully, dabbing, not pressing too hard, his movements slow like he was afraid of hurting you. You watched him from above, the way his brows knitted in concentration, the way his thumb hovered before every touch as if silently asking permission.
In that moment, with your legs aching and your heart doing stupid, hopeful things, you felt it clearlyโlike the universe had finally thrown you a bone. You swallowed, blinking back the sudden sting behind your eyes, and let yourself wishโjust a littleโthat this wasn't the end of it. That maybe, if you were brave enough, it could become something more.
The rain was relentless, hammering down on the campus like it wanted to wash everything away. You weren't supposed to be hereโtechnically, the university might announce a suspension for this one-day anniversary celebration, and yet, here you were, dragged into anywhere by your batchmates. Booths sprawled across the open field, tents flapping violently in the wind, people shouting over the rainfall, trying to make their sales, their events, their little festivals matter despite the downpour. Your mind was flying, your focus already zeroed in on the smell of food wafting through the air.
Your batchmates were bouncing around like hyperactive ping-pong balls, dragging you to every booth, explaining every club, organization, or activity. You smiled, nodded, occasionally talking back, but your attention was already elsewhere. You made a beeline for the food tents, because at least there you could indulge without pretending to care too much about the rest of. You handed over your allowance, little coins and bills disappearing faster than you could count, but it didn't matter. You were eating! You were alive!
"This is Caramelized Banana! It's a banana with melted sugar on top. We also have banana wrapped, no sugar, or with sugar, and you can dip it in our chocolate syrup! It's a recipe popular in the Philippinesโ" You nodded, intrigued despite yourself, and bought one, your teeth sinking into the warm sweetness. You didn't even mind the vendor's continued spiel, too busy savoring the sticky sugar sliding down your fingers.
"Nachos with a lot of melted cheese! Would you like that? Buy here, come!" Oh, cheese. You couldn't say no. You grabbed it, scarfed down the gooey chips, and licked your fingers. The crowd barely mattered, the wet grass barely matteredโyou had your food and that was enough.
"Nasi Goreng, originated from Malaysia, and we also have Murtabak with curry dipping sauceโ" One you hadn't tried before, hm, promising. You bought it anyway, letting the unfamiliar spice surprise you.
You wandered, hands overloaded with plates, cups, skewers, dripping food and drink. You smiled at familiar faces, waved at acquaintances, all without really stopping, just enjoying the simple pleasure of eating. But then, of course, you saw Karina, by the Engineering booth. And just like some magnetic pull, she was staring right at you, that big, wide, infuriatingly cheerful grin on her face.
Your first instinct was to turn on your heel and walk fast, hoping she wouldn't catch up. Ha. Of course, she did, slinging an arm around your shoulder and tugging you in the direction she wanted.
"Come on," she sing-songed, leaning heavily into you. "You're really not interested in the Engineering booths? That's wild." She grinned, nuzzling her nose against your cheek in that infuriatingly intimate way she had. "I saw your cute little roommate earlier, you know. Passing papers to the Grade 12 students. He looked all serious and responsible. Wanna say hi? Let's go say hi."
You huffed through the banana cue still in your mouth, your cheeks hollowing as you chewed. Three days had passed since the finals, three days of rest and light training, but your mind was still a battlefield. Thoughts of him kept creeping in, and the more you tried to ignore them, the louder they became. You wanted to avoid himโyes, goddamn yesโbut at the same time, every fiber of you ached to see him, to be near him, to steal a moment that wasn't really yours.
Karina jabbed your side playfully again, practically dragging you forward, and you let yourself be led, cheeks flaming hotter with each step. Your stomach was twisting like a knot of nerves and excitement as she maneuvered you through the rain-slicked paths, past other tents, right to the Engineering booth where Jake was standing. Flyers were scattered across the table, little models of buildings precariously balanced on top, and he was carefully carrying one in his hands.
"O-Oh, hi," he stammered when his gaze landed on you. You forced a small, awkward smile and waved, trying to look casual, though your knees threatened to buckle under the intensity of your own heartbeat. His eyes flicked to Karina, who was grinning and waving energetically at him, and you could feel her elbows nudging you forward with impatience.
"Hi! I'm Karina, her friend!" she chirped, pointing at you. She looped her arms around yours in a sort of gesture, pressing her hip gently against yours, signaling you to do somethingโanythingโso you wouldn't freeze completely.
"Hi, I'm Jake..." he said, his words catching slightly as he placed the tiny building models on the table with deliberate care, his gaze snapping back to you immediately. Karina squealed again, poking your side for emphasis, and you could barely focus on anything except the way his eyes met yours.
The past three days, he had been almost invisible in the apartment, buried in whatever work the booth had demanded. You had tried to cook dinner once, thinking maybe it would be a way to reach out, but you burned the rice, cursing yourself under your breath. After that, you'd stuck to ordering takeout, leaving it neatly on the table for him, only to be met with his quiet thanks and a promise to sleep early because of his busy schedule. Talking to him directly had always been this impossible thing, a wall of nerves and hesitation that you could never figure out how to scale.
"Uh..." you said finally. "What's around your booth?" You felt Karina pinch your back sharply, a mischievous jab reminding you to ask more, not less.
"M-Mostly, just models and blueprints of b-buildings. N-nothing special, sorryโour plan was to encourage the Grade 12 students to enroll in our c-courses... that's why..."
You nodded, staring at the mini-building he had just placed down, but your gaze inevitably wandered to his hands. White, slender, pale hands, veiny in the softest, most perfect way. Hands that looked like they could build worlds or crush them, delicate and capable at the same time. You swallowed hard, blinking, your mind wandering to impossible thoughtsโholding those hands, wrapping yours around them. It was infuriating how unfairly perfect he was in every little way, how nothing about him seemed flawed, nothing you could grasp onto to stop yourself from melting quietly inside.
"The fuck are you doing? Ask him more!" Karina hissed into your ear, breaking through your daze and making you jump slightly.
"Uh... you want some food?" you blurted, holding up the banana cue you still had, dipping it in chocolate sauce with trembling hands. Your fingers shook as you offered it to him, locking eyes with his as if your courage depended on it. You could see the sudden widening of his eyes behind his glasses, a tiny flare of surprise that made your stomach twist. "It's a banana with sugar... I roamed around the area and ate all of their food. Haha..." You tried to laugh lightly, hoping it sounded casual instead of awkward.
Jake's hands were still slightly dusty from handling the models, and he rubbed them awkwardly on his pants. "Uh... D-Do you have alcohol wipes orโ"
"It's okay, just take a bite. I'll hold it for you," you said quickly, forcing your voice calm even though your heart was hammering. Your feet tapped nervously against the ground as you leaned slightly forward, the tiniest tremor of excitement running up your spine.
Then he leaned forward, slowly, cautiously, and took a bite. Your fingers tightened around the stick as you watched him, the small tunnel of the booth around you fading until all you could see was him. Karina's muffled clap from the side snapped you briefly back, and you caught her giving you a sly thumbs-up, eyes closed in encouragement as if saying, Finally, you're doing it.
God, Jake is so handsome it knocks the air clean out of you. Your brain short-circuits in the dumbest way possible, every thought evaporating until there's nothing left but himโstanding there, biting into your food. You watch his lips close around the banana, the faint shine of chocolate at the corner of his mouth, the way his jaw moves when he chews. He nods softly, murmuring a quiet thanks, his palm hovering over his mouth as if he's embarrassed to be seen enjoying it too much.
You don't move. You barely breathe. It's humiliating how sensitive you suddenly feel to everythingโhow close he is, how warm the air feels between you, how one small movement from him makes your stomach flip. Seconds pass, maybe minutes, you're not sure. Then Jake looks up and catches you staring, really staring, and your chest tightens painfully because fuck, you didn't even try to hide it.
Karina, bless her soul, steps in before you can combust on the spot. "Jake? Right?" she says brightly, already reaching out to clap a hand on his shoulder. He jumps a little at the contact, stiff as a board. "Actually, my friend Sangwonโyou know Sangwon? Yeah? He's an engineer. He's gonna take over the booth with Leo in a bit." She gestures wildly behind her, where Sangwon and Leo are walking past with drinks in their hands. "What if you two just roam around the area? My friend here is a loner," she adds, squeezing your arm hard, "and it might be nice for you to walk instead of being stuck here all day, hmm?"
Jake freezes completely, eyes darting between Karina and you. Sangwon and Leo stop mid-step, staring at Karina. "Are you fucking with me?" Sangwon mutters, incredulous. Leo just blinks, mouth open.
"Shut up," Karina snaps without looking at them.
"Actuallyโ" you finally manage to speak, like you just woke up from a dream. You clear your throat and glance at Jake, trying not to melt under the way his attention snaps back to you instantly. "I saw at the other booth... the sponsored one... they were selling Hot Wheels."
"Really?!" Jake's eyes widen so much they practically light up behind his glasses. The shift is immediate and endearing as hell, all his stiffness melting into pure, unfiltered excitement. "Like... the die-cast ones? Or the limited editionโ" He cuts himself off, realizing he's rambling.
You smile before you can stop yourself. You don't even know what are the die cast or the limited editions butโ "I think I saw some limited ones," you say. "Near the food stalls."
Karina grins, "see?" she declares. "Go. Walk. Talk. I'll handle the booth." She physically pushes Jake a step away from the table, then nudges you forward too.
Jake hesitates, fingers twitching at his sides, then looks at you like he's asking permission without saying it. "I-If... if you don't mind," he says quietly.
You shrug, pretending your heart isn't slamming against your ribs. "Yeah. I don't mind."
And just like that, you're walking side by side, away from the booth. Your shoulders almost brush, close enough that you're hyper-aware of it, but neither of you moves away.
"How do you know I like Hot Wheels?" Jake asks after a moment.
You shrug, like it's nothing, like it didn't take weeks of quiet observation to notice. "Dunno," you say casually. "Every time I talk about rent or bills and you open your door, I just... notice the tiny cars." You glance at him, then gesture vaguely behind you. "They're lined up. Organized. Very... you."
He lets out a small, embarrassed laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. You continue before you can second-guess yourself. "But you kinda like everything, right? Stars. Oceans. Dinosaurs. All that science stuff." You pause, then add, "There's a lot of booths here that reminded me of you." The moment the words leave your mouth, you bite your lip.
"Really?" he says, stopping for half a second just to look at you properly. Not a quick glanceโan actual look. His eyes search your face like he's checking if you're joking, if this is some kind of tease. When he realizes you're not, his ears turn red almost instantly. "Let's take a look then," he adds, a little brighter.
You nod, grateful for the excuse to look away, and guide him toward the booth you spotted earlier. The Hot Wheels stand is crowded with students leaning over glass cases, bright lights reflecting off tiny polished cars. Rows and rows of themโlimited editions, old-school designs, racing models, cartoonish ones.
"Oh my God," Jake breathes. The words slip out before he can stop them, and you swear you've never seen him look so openly excited. He leans closer to the glass, hands clasped behind his back like a kid trying not to press his face against a window. "Th-This isโ I've never seen this many in one place."
You watch him instead of the cars. The way his eyes light up, the way he rocks slightly on his heels, trying to contain himself. It hits you thenโthis is what it looks like when someone feels safe enough to be fully themselves.
"These ones are rare," you say, pointing at a row near the back, pretending you know more than you do. "I heard people were lining up early for them."
Jake leans in closer, his arm brushing yours accidentally. "Y-Yeah," he says, "I've only seen pictures of these online."
You're not even really looking at the cars anymore. You're watching himโhow his focus sharpens, how his shoulders loosen, how this small joy pulls him out of his shell. Then, without thinking too much about it, he reaches out and lightly wraps his fingers around your forearm. "C-Come here," he murmurs, already tugging you a step to the side. "Take a look at this."
He points at a single car nestled among the others. "That one," he says, "It's a Super Treasure Hunt. See the 'TH' logo?" He leans closer to the glass, his grip on you tightening just a fraction. "They don't make a lot of them. People s-search for years sometimes."
"And... what about it?" you ask, heat creeps up your neck. Your cheeks flush, not just from the closeness, but from the way he's still holding youโthumb resting against your skin. You don't pull away. You don't want to.
Jake finally realizes what he's doing and stiffens slightly, his fingers twitching like he's about to let go. "S-Sorry," he starts, panicking, "I didn't mean toโ"
"It's okay," you cut in quickly, turning your arm just enough that his hand stays where it is. You meet his eyes. "You're excited. I get it."
His mouth opens, then closes, then he lets out a small, breathy laugh. "I, uh... I justโ" He swallows. "I think it's c-cool. When something small means that much."
You smile without thinking, slow and soft, nodding along. Yeah. Totally relatable. Your life has been built on small things that meant everything.
You and him end up roaming around the booths despite the shit weather, rain misting the air and soaking the edges of banners and tents. For once, you don't care. For once, you're not rushing, not counting time, not worrying about training schedules or what comes next. And reallyโthis is the first time you see him like this. Not just Jake-the-roommate, or Jake-the-awkward-genius, but Jake letting himself exist out loud.
"It's my first time roaming around this much," he says, eyes wide as he takes everything in. His hand is still loosely wrapped around your arm. "Wow... I think there's a lot more compared to last year." His other hand is full of paper bags from the Hot Wheels booth.
You hum, letting him talk, letting him lead, and he really does. He points things out with this quiet excitement that sneaks up on you. The biology booth makes him stop dead in his tracks. "And that oneโ" he says, tugging you closer, voice lifting despite himself. "They're doing dissections. Look, that's a scorpionโsee how detailed it is? And they patched it up themselves. That's so cool." His words tumble over each other, hands moving.
Then he's already dragging you again, apologizing under his breath but smiling all the same, pulling you toward a booth filled with wires, blinking LEDs, half-built machines. You figure it's IT or roboticsโsomething adjacent to his world. His eyes light up immediately, pupils blown wide.
"This oneโ" he says, pointing at a small rectangular robot with tiny arms and legs. "It's an emo robot. Originally meant to sit on desks." He wiggles his finger in front of it, and the robot mirrors the motion, its digital eyes shifting expressions. Jake laughs under his breath, soft and fond. "I wanted one before, but it was expensive. So maybe Bumble can be an improvisation." He glances at you. "Someday... what do you think?"
You look at the robot, then back at him, then shake your head lightly. "I think I like Bumble more," you say honestly. "She greets me. Judges me silently."
He snorts before he can stop himself, clapping a hand over his mouth. And Godโthere it is again. That sound. That real laugh. It makes something warm bloom in your chest.
"Y-Yeah," he says, smiling openly now. "She does that."
And somehow, after that, everything loosens. The tension you didn't even realize you were carrying melts into the background as the two of you keep walking, drifting from booth to booth, laughing more than you expect to. It's awkward, yeahโthere are pauses, stutters, moments where you both talk at once and then stopโbut it's the good kind. He points at everything like a kid seeing the world for the first time, rambling about random facts, half-formed theories, things he read once and never forgot. And you listen. Really listen. Not because you feel like you have to, but because hearing him talk like this feels... comforting.
You catch yourself smiling for no damn reason, nodding along while he explains why certain materials work better in buildings or why he likes models more than finished structures. He talks with his hands, fingers fidgeting when he gets excited, eyes lighting up in a way that makes your chest ache a little.
"They said after this," you say eventually, glancing up at the sky, "judging by the weather, the government might suspend classes." The clouds above are heavy and gray, the wind sharp enough to bite through your clothes.
You're halfway through the walk back when the sky finally gives up pretending. Rain pours down all at once, soaking you in seconds. You both stop, startled, then look at each other like idiots before breaking into a run. Jake hugs the paper bags to his chest, tryingโand failingโto shield them with his body.
"Oh noโ!" he yelps, slipping slightly, and you grab his arm without thinking, dragging him forward.
You fumble with your keys at the door, hands slick and shaking, rain blurring your vision as you finally get it open. The two of you stumble inside, slamming the door shut behind you, breathing hard. For a second there's just the sound of rain pounding against the walls and your own uneven breaths.
Then you look at each other.
And you both lose it.
Laughter bursts out of you, echoing through the apartment. Water drips from your hair, down your face, soaking your clothes. Jake's curls are plastered to his forehead, his glasses fogged, his braces flashing as he grins and pushes his wet hair back with his palm.
God. He looks ridiculous. And beautiful.
Your chest feels warm, too full, as you watch him walk over and carefully set the bags on the couch like he's still worried about them, even now. He glances back at you, cheeks flushed, eyes bright, still smiling like this moment.
"We should immediately shower and change our clothes," he said, voice still a little breathless from laughing.
By the time you wrapped yourself in a towel and crawled into bed, your body finally gave in. The government suspension announcement came not long after. Continuous heavy rainfall. Classes canceled. City on standby. You stared at the window instead, watching water race down the glass in uneven lines, your mind is finally quiet. Just an unfamiliar sense of peace.
You didn't even realize how long you'd been lying there until a soft knock pulled you out of it.
It was too early for you to feel human again, too early to leave the bedโbut of course, it was Jake. Standing at your door, holding a bowl with both hands. "Uh... I made b-breakfast," he said. "Porridge. With egg." He hesitated, then added, "If you're hungry."
God. You could live like this forever.
After washing the dishes togetherโyour hands bumping once, both of you apologizing at the same timeโyou leaned against the counter, watching him wipe the table with careful strokes.
"Do you think it'll take weeks?" you asked, glancing at your phone. "Another typhoon's coming, right? Friday, I think."
He shrugged, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Dunno. Our profs already sent some online activities." He paused, then added, almost apologetic, "I still have to study."
"Sucks to be you," you said, grinning. "I just wanna be lazy all day. But also... being lazy gets boring fast."
He lifted his head then, eyes flicking up to meet yours. There was a brief pause, like he was debating with himself, fingers fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. "Wanna b-build a Lego with me?"
Oh fuck. Your heart did that stupid thing againโjumping, twisting. You nodded anyway, too fast, too eager. "Yeah," you said. "Sure. Why not."
That was how you ended up on the living room floor, legs folded awkwardly, backs against the couch, Lego pieces scattered everywhere. Jake sat closeโbut not too closeโcareful in the way he always was, knees tucked in, sleeves pushed up as his fingers worked with quiet focus. He explained things as he went, apologizing every time he thought he was talking too much, which only made you want to hear more. You kept stealing glances at him, the way his brow furrowed when a piece didn't fit, the little hum he made under his breath when he figured it out.
And it didn't stop there.
The next morning, the rain was still relentless, hammering against the windows with no mercy, wind howling. You were half-awake, wrapped in a blanket, when Jake hovered near the couch, shifting his weight from foot to foot. "Uh... do you wanna watch a series?" he asked, holding his tablet. "IโI started it last week. It's... kinda long."
You agreed before your brain could catch up, again.
That's how you ended up watching a chess series together, bodies sunk into the couch, knees occasionally brushing. You didn't understand half of it, but you liked the way he watchedโleaning forward, eyes sharp, fully absorbed. You pointed at the screen when the female lead pulled off some insane move, eyebrows raised. "I don't get how it works," you said honestly, "but she's cool as hell."
He smiled at that, a real one, eyes lighting up. "Y-Yeah. She is." He hesitated, then added, softer, "She's really smart."
Hours slipped by without either of you noticing. Episodes blurred together. You asked questions, most of them are dumb ones, sometimes ones that made him pause and think. When the character lost a crucial match, you frowned at the screen. "Why did she lose?"
Jake straightened a bit. "B-Because she got checkmated," he said gently. "There's... rules. A lot of patterns. Math, too." He leaned forward, pointing at the paused screen. "Her queen is trapped here. If she moves it, her king's exposed. No safe squares left."
You nodded slowly, pretending you understood more than you did, eyes flicking between the screen and him. He kept explaining anyway, hands moving as he talked, sketching invisible boards in the air.
Night fell without ceremony. The rain didn't let up. At some point, you realized your head had tipped onto his shoulder, your body was warm and heavy against his side. He stiffened for half a second, then relaxed, breathing evening. Neither of you said anything. The show kept playing. Your eyes drifted shut.
Another morning arrived with rain slamming against the windows like it was angry at the city itself. The wind howled, rattling the glass hard enough that it felt alive. Your phone buzzed with the announcement before you even checked the time: University Suspension โ Classes Cancelled Until Further Notice. You stared at the screen for a second, then let yourself fall back against the couch with a breathy laugh. Trapped. Stuck. Whatever word people wanted to use. You didn't mind it. Not when being stuck meant him.
What surprised you most was him. Jake, who used to barely look at you without stuttering himself into knots, was the one filling the space now. He suggested things quietly but confidentlyโmovies, games, stupid little activities that somehow filled the hours without feeling forced. He brought out board games you didn't even know he owned, set up playlists that hummed softly in the background. It was like once the outside world paused, he stepped forward like this was where he belonged.
"Wow," you said, staring down at the chessboard. "I can't believe we were just watching a chess series, and now we're actually playing." You picked up a random pieceโno idea what it wasโand shoved it forward. "This is unfair. I couldn't even comprehend a single rule."
You glanced up at Jake, expecting a laugh or at least a smug look, but he was focusedโelbows on his knees, chin tilted down, eyes fixed on the board and cute as hell.
"You can't place it there," he said calmly, reaching out before you could protest. His fingers brushed yours as he lifted the piece you'd just moved, the contact brief but electric, like your skin had suddenly woken up. He shifted it to another square, "I can eat you."
You froze. He froze too. Then his eyes widened, panic flashing across his face as he realized what he'd just said. "YโYour piece," he corrected quickly, voice dropping, ears turning red. "I mean. The piece. I'll take it."
You stared at him for a second. And then you laughed, leaning back on your hands as the sound spilled out of you. "Holy shit," you said, grinning. "Buy me dinner first, nerd."
He let out a strangled sound somewhere between a cough and a laugh, covering his mouth with his hand as his shoulders shook. "IโI didn't mean it like that," he muttered, mortified.
"I know," you said, still smiling. You leaned forward again, elbows resting on your knees, eyes dropping to the board like you were suddenly very invested in this stupid little war of wooden pieces. Your fingers traced the edge of a pawn absentmindedly. "But I don't mind..."
"Mind... what?" he asked, tentative, eyes flicking up to you and then away again like he was afraid of what he might see on your face.
You didn't even give yourself time to overthink it, you were just done pretending you didn't feel this pull. "You eating me." โand your mouth moved before your brain could chicken out. Fuck. You were flirting. You were actually, openly flirting.
Jake froze like you'd hit a pause button on him. His hand hovered over one of his pieces, then he snapped back to life and shoved it forward a little too fast, the wood clacking loudly against the board. You leaned forward too, mirroring him, reaching for one of your pieces and sliding it closer to his side of the board, deliberately slow, deliberately close. You lifted your eyes to his face, watching the way his blush deepened, spreading from his ears down his neck.
"My piece," you added quickly, lips twitching. "I mean." You pulled it back with a grin that told him you absolutely did not mean just that.
He swallowed hard as he moved again, taking your piece this time, fingers trembling just slightly. You caught the way his Adam's apple bobbed when he gulped, the way his jaw tightened like he was trying very hard to keep it together. God, he was cute like thisโunraveled but trying, flustered but still playing, still sitting there with you instead of running for his room.
"IโI..." he started, then stopped, exhaling through his nose. "I know," he said finally, like he was bracing himself. "Your turn."
You didn't move right away. You just looked at the board, then at him, heart thudding harder than it had any right to over a chess game and a few words loaded with way too much meaning. Slowly, you picked up a piece and nudged it forward, smiling faintly to yourself as if you were enjoying how this felt far more than you should.
"Okie," you said lightly, thenโjust to be an assholeโyou shoved another random chess piece forward. Jake scratched his head, blinking at the board.
"You can't move it from the back to the front, it's the Queen. You're exposing it," he said, a hint of impatience creeping into his voice. You almost laughed at how serious he was, brows furrowed, already reaching out to fix your mistake.
The next few hours blurred into him lecturing you about chess pieces, strategies, positioning, endgames, openingsโthings you half-listened to while watching the way his hands moved.
It didn't shock you at all that most of your pieces were eaten, one by one, until the board looked pitiful on your side. He leaned back slightly, studying it, then glanced up at you. "You're cornered," he said, almost apologetic.
"Sucks," you muttered, staring at your lonely queen. You tilted your head, eyes flicking up to his. "But I'm facing your queen. Is it not a checkmate?"
Jake blinked. Once. Twice. Then he leaned forward again, squinting at the board, lips parted in concentration. You watched him closely, the way his shoulders tensed, the way he bit his lower lip without realizing it. After a long moment, he froze, realization dawning on his face. "...Shit," he breathed.
You grinned, resting your chin on your palm. "Guess I win."
"Y-You didn't even know what you were doing!" he said.
"Nah!" You clapped your hands loudly, then you pointed straight at him like you'd just defeated a final boss. "You lose, loser!" You stuck your tongue out without shame, leaning into the childish victory.ย
You pushed yourself up from the floor and climbed onto the couch, ignoring the scattered chess pieces. You did a slow spin, arms swaying dramatically, hips moving just enough to be obnoxious. "Bow to your champion!" you declared, laughing at your own stupidity as you were trying to annoy him. But you stopped mid-twirl.ย
Jake wasn't annoyed, he wasn't scrambling to defend himself. He was just staring at you. A wide smile stretched across his face, braces flashing. His eyes were bright, crinkled at the corners, completely unguarded. He looked at you like you were something entertaining and precious at the same time.
Your stomach flipped. The teasing energy drained out of you in an instant. You stepped down from the couch and sat back on the floor across from him, suddenly more aware of the space between you. The chessboard sat abandoned, pieces knocked over like the game didn't matter anymore.ย
"So," you said, clearing your throat as you folded your legs under you. You tilted your head slightly, trying to keep the playful tone even though your pulse had started racing. "Do winners have a prize?"
Jake's smile softened immediately. He looked down at his hands, then rubbed the back of his ear, and right on cue, the tips turned red. He pressed his lips together, then bit the lower one gently like he was thinking too hard. His feet shuffled against the floor, restless, nervous energy buzzing off him.
At first, you weren't sure what he was thinking. Maybe he thought you meant snacks. Maybe he was calculating some logical reward system in his head. But the longer he stayed quiet, the more your mind spiraled. Is he thinking what you're thinking? Or are you just being delusional? Your heart pounded louder, drowning out the rain for a second. He kept biting his lip, glancing up at you and then away again. His fingers curled into the fabric of his sweatpants.
"Iโ" he started, then stopped. He inhaled slowly, steadying himself. "What kind of prize?" he asked.
You leaned forward just slightly, enough that your knees were only inches away from his. "I don't know," you said, watching his face carefully. "You're the one who lost."
His eyes lifted to yours, and this time, he didn't look away. The storm outside continued raging, wind howling, rain pounding relentlessly, but inside, everything was suspended in this quiet, dangerous pause. You could see the conflict in his expressionโthe nervousness, the want, the restraint. He swallowed again. "I can... cook?" he offered, almost shyly. "Or... d-do the dishes for a week?"
You stared at him for a second. And then you laughed softly, shaking your head. Of course he would offer something practical. Of course he'd default to taking care of you in the safest way possible. "You're such a nerd," you murmured.
He smiled again, uncertain. "Is that... not okay?"
You looked up at the ceiling, pretending to think about it. Your teeth caught your lower lip as your mind spiraled. If you say this, you're crossing the line. If you say this, you're not just flirting anymoreโyou're stepping over that invisible boundary that kept things safe. If you say this, you might lose the easy mornings, the quiet dinners โ But then again... what the hell were you so scared of?
"What about a kiss?" you asked, finally looking back at him, forcing your voice to stay steady. You watched it happen in real timeโthe shift in his face. His eyes widened just slightly, then softened, then panicked. Color bloomed across his cheeks, spreading down his neck in a slow, undeniable flush. His lips parted like he was about to speak, but no sound came out. For a second, you regretted it.
"Forget it," you said quickly, nerves snapping at you. You moved to stand, heart racing, ready to laugh it off, ready to run before you saw rejection in his eyes. But you didn't get far when a firm hand wrapped around your wrist. It wasn't rough, but it wasn't hesitant either. It caught you mid-motion and pulled you back down with enough strength to surprise you. A small yelp escaped your throat, cut short when you felt his lips against yours.
Your eyes flew open. Jake's were closed, brows slightly furrowed like he was concentrating too hard. His lips were softโwarmer than you expected. He kissed you like he did everything else: carefully at first, uncertain. You could feel the inexperience in the way he tilted his head a little too abruptly, the way his mouth moved like he wasn't sure what rhythm to follow.
Your shock melted fast. You closed your eyes and leaned in properly this time, pushing the chessboard out of the way with a clatter of wooden pieces hitting the floor. Your hands slid up to his shoulders, gripping them, feeling the solid warmth beneath his shirt. He let out the smallest, breathy sound against your mouth, half a whine, half a gasp.
The cold wind outside rattled the windows, but the room felt like it was closing in, warm with the sound of your breathing mixing together. You moved your lips more deliberately, guiding the kiss, pressing closer. When you brushed your tongue lightly against his bottom lipโslow, askingโhe froze for a split second before he opened up. A quiet, shaky moan slipped from him as you deepened it, tasting him, feeling the way his hands tightened around your waist. His fingers dug in just enough to make you aware of them.
Still kissing him, you shifted your weight and swung a leg over, settling onto his lap without breaking contact. He inhaled sharply into your mouth at the movement, his grip adjusting to keep you steady. You could feel how tense he was beneath you, how his whole body seemed lit up by every point of contact. Your hands slid from his shoulders to the back of his neck, fingers threading lightly into his hair. You pulled him closer, and this time, he responded without pauseโkissing you back with more confidence. A sharp gasp escaped you when his grip on your waist tightened suddenly, pulling your body flush against his. The pressure of him beneath the thin fabric of his pajama pants was obvious. Your head spun so fast you didn't even think about pulling away for air. It felt like your bodies had turned into magnets, stuck together with a force neither of you had the will to fight.
Fuck. Fuck, fuck.
Your hips shifted slowly, a roll meant to test him. You refused to break the kiss, and when the heat between your legs pressed directly against the tense outline beneath you, a quiet moan slipped from your throat before you could stop it. The sound vibrated between your mouths. That was when Jake broke the kiss.
Your lips chased his, catching his bottom lip between your teeth before he could pull too far away. The separation was reluctant, both of you breathing hard like you'd just sprinted a mile. Your chest rose and fell rapidly while you stayed seated on his lap, fingers still tangled in his hair like you might drag him back if he dared move too far.
"Whatโ why?" you asked, your voice still shaky and breathless.
Jake's face was flushed a deep red, spreading from his cheeks all the way to the tips of his ears. His glasses had fogged slightly from the heat between you. For a second he just stared at you, then he shook his head once, almost frustrated, and pulled his glasses off. Without much care he tossed them somewhere toward the floor beside the couch where they landed with a faint clatter. Before you could even react, his hands returned to you and he leaned forward again, capturing your mouth in another kiss.
This one was different. There was nothing hesitant about it anymore. His grip on your waist was firmer, fingers digging into the fabric of your shirt. A small squeal escaped you when he suddenly stood, lifting you effortlessly like you weighed nothing. The sudden movement made your arms tighten around his neck while your legs wrapped around his waist, locking you against him. The new position pressed your bodies together even closer, heat building fast between you as he carried you across the room without breaking the kiss for more than a second.
Your mind tried to catch up, tried to ask what the hell was about to happen next, but the thought dissolved the moment his mouth found yours again. Overthinking felt impossible now. The only thing that mattered was the feeling of his lips, the warmth of his hands, the way your pulse pounded in your ears. You had spent too long ignoring the tension between you, pretending it wasn't there.
Right now you didn't care about tomorrow, or consequences, or whatever awkwardness might follow.
Right now you just wanted him.
Jake's breathing had turned uneven by the time your mouth drifted away from his lips. Your kisses trailed along the corner of his mouth, brushing his cheek before moving down to his jaw. You nipped lightly at the warm skin there, feeling the way his body tensed beneath your hold. One of his hands slid up your back while the other steadied you against him, fingers flexing slightly like he wasn't entirely sure where to touch first. "Where?" he whispered.
The word barely made it out before your teeth grazed his skin again. You could feel his pulse under your lips. You didn't answer, instead, you dragged your mouth slowly along his jaw toward his ear, letting the silence stretch while his grip on you tightened almost unconsciously. Your fingers brushed through the hair at the back of his neck again, tugging making him inhale sharply.
Then you finally murmured your answer against his ear. "Your room"
Your cunt fluttered at the sound of your own words, heat pooling wet as a low, long whine escaped him. You barely had time to register the sensation before you were being carried again, the familiar weightless surge of being lifted making your stomach knot with anticipation and arousal. The world blurred around you, furniture and light flashing past as he moved. You tried to hold onto something, but there was nothing to hold onto except him. Every nerve ending in your body was awake, every touch of his hand, every movement of his body against yours, sending sparks you didn't even know you could feel.
When he finally lowered you onto the bed, it was gentle despite the desperation in his hold. His hands guided you, careful, cradling your head like you were made of something fragile he didn't want to break. The bed beneath you was soft, yielding under your weight, but somehow it didn't lessen the intimacy of the momentโthe way he leaned over you, holding you steady, letting you both pause before the next wave hit. You froze for a heartbeat, just staring at him.
Seeing Jake without his glasses was like seeing him stripped bare in a way you hadn't noticed before. His eyes were glossy and brilliant, gleaming with something almost otherworldly. There was a kind of intensity in them, like the stars he loved to watch in those documentaries he'd obsess over, but alive, raw, and focused entirely on you. You could see a storm of desire and confusion, clarity and hesitation all tangled up behind those shining orbs, and even though you didn't understand all of it, it made something coil tight in your chest.ย
You just leaned in, pressing your lips against him, trailing soft, hungry kisses across his nose, the tip of his chin, the curve of his cheeks, letting your hands wander freely over the hard lines of his triceps, feeling the muscle tense and flex under your touch.
"Still with me?" you whispered, your teeth grazing his jaw as you tugged lightly, testing him, teasing him, feeling the shiver roll down his spine. Your hands drifted to his, guiding them up your body, threading his fingers through the fabric of your shirt, pressing them to your chest. "Is this okay?" you asked, your eyes locked on his, searching, and needing him to answer without words.
Jake gasped sharply, chest rising and falling, his eyes wide, pupils blown, and the flush spreading across his face so deep it looked almost painful. His cock twitched insistently beneath his pajama pants. Every nerve in his body screamed for more, as if your hands on him had awakened something he had been holding back. You moved slowly, coaxing him, rubbing him through the fabric, kneading the hard length of him in small, teasing motions while letting your fingers drift over the edges of his hips and down the side of his thighs. At first, his hands hovered uncertainly, until he finally mirrored you, sliding over your chest, kneading your breasts softly, fingers gentle yet unsteady.
A shared whine broke through your lips almost without thought. You couldn't bear the waiting any longer. Your hands fumbled at your top, ripping it free along with the bra in one shameless movement. The sudden freedom of your bare skin against the cool air made you shiver, and you felt him lean closer immediately, drawing in your scent as if it intoxicated him. He found the confidence to follow your earlier movements, pressing his mouth to your jaw, nibbling in small, sharp bites that made you wince, pulling a low moan from your chest despite the sting.
"Pretty," he whispered in a way that made you question if you'd imagined it. "So... so, pretty." He repeated it, a breathless chant, before diving back into your lips with renewed hunger.
You lost track of time, swallowed whole by the rhythm of his mouth and the press of his body against yours. His arms wrapped tighter around you, fingers pressing against your back and shoulders. Your bare breasts brushed against the fabric of his shirt, and the friction made your stomach coil tight with heat. You wanted moreโyou wanted all of itโbut you were afraid to ask, afraid that if you broke the kiss to say so, he would retreat into awkwardness and the fragile tension you'd built would shatter. So instead, you cut the kiss abruptly, pressing the back of his head against your chest, guiding him where you wanted without speaking.
"Nghh," you moaned, tilting your head back, arching your back, letting him explore freely. His lips closed around your nipple, sucking with the inexperience of someone trying to mimic what they thought they should do. It was awkward but it sent shocks through your body. You felt him adapt, he swirled his tongue over your areola, teasing, learning, feeling. You guided one of his hands into your other breast, holding the back of his palm against your skin as he kneaded gently, and your eyes closed, lost in sensation.
He seemed to catch every nuance in your reactions, every small gasp that slipped out of your mouth, every tremor that ran through your body when he touched the right spot. His tongue flicked slowly between your nipples while his thumbs moved in steady circles around them, rough pads grazing the sensitive skin again and again. The sensation made your breath hitch sharply, another helpless gasp leaving your throat as your fingers curled into his hair. Jake stayed there for a long moment, almost stubborn about it, alternating between sucking, licking, and pressing soft kisses against your chest.
Eventually he pulled away, his lips lingering for a second before he leaned back up to capture your mouth again.
Oh boy, Jake must really love kissing.
You dragged him closer, one hand gripping the back of his neck while your body shifted beneath him. Your hips rolled upward without thinking, pressing into him, searching for friction. The kiss quickly turned messy as both of you started moving at the same time, your bodies grinding together clumsily on the bed. Each time your hips pushed up you felt the hard pressure of him through the fabric between you, and the contact made a low sound rumble from his chest.
"Re... move," you muttered between kisses, the word breaking apart as your lips kept bumping into his. Your fingers tugged impatiently at his shirt, pulling at the fabric.
Jake let out another strained whine before pulling away. He fumbled with his clothes quickly, clearly not thinking about grace or neatness. His shirt disappeared first, tossed somewhere beside the bed, and then his hands went straight for the waistband of his pajama pants. In his rush he dragged them down together with his boxers, pushing the fabric down his hips in one impatient motion.
"Oh..." you whispered before you could stop yourself, your body shifting backward slightly against the mattress.
Jake stood there for a second, breathing heavily, chest rising and falling while he looked at you, trying to read your reaction. But your attention had already dropped lower. Your gaze locked on him, on the obvious heat and color of his cock, the flushed pink that leaned almost red under the soft light in the room. You could see the veins along the base, the damp shine at the tip where precum had already gathered. It looked almost angry, twitching slightly with each breath he took.
How the hell had Jakeโyour awkward, nerdy, always-overthinking roommateโbeen hiding something like that?
Jake noticed where you were looking. His shoulders shifted awkwardly and his hand moved as if he wanted to cover himself, the embarrassment creeping back onto his face. But before he could actually hide anything, you moved. You pushed yourself up onto your knees on the mattress and reached forward, catching his wrist and pulling it aside. Your other hand slid forward immediately after, your palm wrapping around his cock.
"Noโ ahhโ" Jake's head tipped back the moment your hand closed around him.
You felt the warmth of it against your palm, and your fingers tightened slightly without thinking. His reaction made you reach up with your free hand, grabbing lightly at the back of his neck and pulling him down toward you again. Your lips crashed back into his before he could say anything else. The angle was awkward now, with him half leaning over you and most of his weight pressing down onto the mattress while your hand stayed wrapped around him. His hips kept shifting forward, brushing against your palm. You deepened the kiss, your mouth moving slowly against his while your hand finally started to move. Your grip circled him carefully at first, sliding upward and then back down in a slow motion as you tested the rhythm.
Jake's moan burst straight into your mouth. His entire body jerked in response, hips twitching sharply against your hand. His legs tensed, muscles tightening as if he'd been hit with a sudden wave of sensation he wasn't prepared for. The sound he made this time was even more desperate, muffled by the kiss.
And then you felt the sudden spurt against your hand, the unmistakable wetness as his body reacted faster than either of you expected. Your movement slowed automatically, your mind catching up with what had just happened.
Oh... Oh.
Jake pulled away from your mouth so suddenly, his breath ragged and uneven as he immediately buried his face into the crook of your neck. The movement was clumsy like he was trying to disappear somewhere inside you. His entire body collapsed forward, and you swore the air left your lungs for a second under the full weight of him. He wasn't holding himself up anymoreโhe was just draped over you, chest pressed to yours, arms braced awkwardly on either side of your shoulders. You could feel how hot his skin was, how fast his heart was pounding against you. One of his hands quickly grabbed your wrist and gently pulled your hand away from him. He didn't say anything. He just breathed hard against your neck, warm bursts of air brushing your skin while his body stayed tense.
A small patch of warmth spreading slowly against your neck. At first you thought it was just his breath, or sweat from how heated everything had gotten but โ "Are you..." you paused, confused, one hand coming up to touch his back carefully, fingers brushing along his spine. "Crying?"
"Sorry I cum too fast," he whimpered into your neck, his voice muffled and shaking as he buried his face deeper against your skin. His head shook slightly as he said it, the motion rubbing his cheek against you.
Your eyes widened immediately. "Heyโno, it's okay, shhh, stopโ" You started patting his back quickly, almost awkwardly, because the sudden shift in mood caught you completely off guard. His shoulders trembled under your hands as his quiet crying turned louder, broken breaths hitching against your skin. You didn't even understand what exactly had upset him so much โ like, he was still hard, twitching against your thigh.
"Shhh, stop crying," you said again, your palm moving slowly up and down his back in an attempt to calm him. Your fingers traced small circles between his shoulder blades, trying to soothe him.
"Soโsorry," he hiccupped, the word breaking apart in his throat. His arms slid fully around your back now, hugging you tightly.
"I told you, it's fine," you murmured, your voice gentler now. You kept rubbing his back while staring up at the ceiling, trying to piece together what the hell had just happened in the last few minutes. "It's really fine. You don't have to freak out about it." After a moment you hesitated before asking carefully, "Do you want to stopโ"
"No."
The answer came out as a strained whine before you could even finish the question. His voice cracked around the word, his hips shifted again against yours, the movement dragging his still-hard cock against your thigh through the mess he'd already made. The mattress creaked softly beneath both of you as his weight shifted forward, his body clinging to yours. He held onto you tighter, arms wrapped around your back, face still buried deep in your neck like he couldn't bear the embarrassment of looking at you.
You stared at the ceiling for a second, processing the situation, then exhaled sharply and shoved at his shoulders. "Okayโ move."
With more strength than he expected, you pushed him back, forcing him to roll off you so you could sit up. The sudden shift made him blink in confusion, his hair messy and his face still flushed as he stared at you. You tossed your hair back over your shoulder, chest rising and falling as you quickly reached down and tugged your bottoms off your hips. The fabric peeled away easily, damp where your arousal had soaked through, and you didn't even bother hiding it. Jake watched the entire thing, his chest still heaving as his eyes dragged over your body.
Swinging your leg over him, you straddled his hips and settled directly over his shaft. The moment your weight pressed down, he sucked in a sharp breath and shut his eyes tight, his head tipping back against the pillow. Your panties were still clinging to you, the wet patch obvious against the thin fabric as you slowly started grinding your hips down against him. The friction made your stomach tighten immediately, your clit dragging over his cock with every slow roll of your hips.
"First time?" you asked, like you weren't currently rubbing your soaked panties all over his cock. Your hands braced on the mattress on either side of his shoulders as you leaned forward slightly, adjusting your rhythm. You rolled your hips in small circles, testing different angles, letting the pressure build while watching his reactions closely.
Jake nodded quickly, eyes still shut. His hands moved to your hips automatically, gripping them tight.
Your movements sped up a little and the change in pace made him whine louder, the sound escaping his throat in a helpless, high note that made your stomach flutter. His fingers dug into your skin, nails pressing hard into the soft flesh of your hips, and you actually winced at the pressure. His entire body tensed beneath you, thighs tightening, his breathing breaking into uneven gasps.
And then it happened again. His hips jerked sharply upward with another loud whine, the movement uncontrolled as he came.
"Ahhโ sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Please, please, pleaseโ" he panicked immediately, his eyes snapping open wide. Fresh tears were already shining in them again as his body trembled beneath you. His cock twitched visibly between your thighs, another small spurt of cum leaking from the flushed tip as he tried to catch his breath. The poor guy looked like he was having a full crisis.
Meanwhile, you just moaned. The friction hadn't stopped for you. Your hips had kept moving through his entire meltdown, chasing the pressure building between your legs.ย
Your hands moved to push his hand away from your hips so you could pull back, assuming his frantic "please" meant he was getting overwhelmed.
But his hands didn't let go. Not even a little. Instead, his grip tightened. You blinked in confusion as he actively tried to guide your hips again, pulling you forward so your soaked panties slid against his cock once more. The thing was still hardโstill angry and flushed and twitching despite the fact that he had already finished twice in less than a few minutes.
What the hell? How can this man cum so fast yet still not go soft?
"Please, please, please," he whined again, his voice breaking as he suddenly sat up. His arms wrapped tightly around you, pulling your body flush against his chest as he started guiding your hips with both hands. The motion forced your grinding to continue, your soaked panties dragging over the sensitive head of his cock again and again. Each pass made him shudder violently. His breath kept catching in his throat, little helpless sounds escaping him every time your hips rolled forward. The mattress creaked beneath you with every movement, the room filled with the mix of his shaky whining and your heavier breathing.
Still wrapped in his arms, you shifted slightly in his lap. One hand slid down between your bodies and hooked into the side of your panties, dragging the damp fabric aside.
The moment your bare cunt brushed against his cock, Jake's reaction was loud, a broken moan tearing out of him, you leaned forward quickly and kissed him hard to shut him up, swallowing the noise before it could get any louder.
If he kept whining like thatโface flushed, voice tremblingโyou were pretty sure you'd lose control just from hearing him. Fuck. His mouth was warm and messy against yours, his breathing still shaking as your hips kept moving slowly against him.
Your hand slipped down to his cock, fingers wrapping around it again. He wasn't fully soft, not even close, but there was still a slight give to him under your palm. You pulled back from the kiss just enough for both of you to breathe, your foreheads almost touching while your breaths mixed together. Your eyes stayed locked on his as you guided him between your legs.
Slowly, deliberately, you started rubbing the length of him against your cunt, dragging the tip along your slick folds. Your hand moved with controlled rhythm, sliding him up and down, occasionally letting the head bump against your entrance before pulling him away again.
"Lay down for me," you murmured. You guided him backward onto the mattress, one hand pressing lightly against his chest until he sank into the pillows. Your own body hovered above him as you stayed straddled over his hips. You were painfully wet by now, your stomach tight with the need for friction that grinding alone hadn't been able to satisfy. Even so, you stayed patient with him. Your fingers brushed over his face, pushing some messy strands of hair away from his forehead before trailing down his cheek. You kept eye contact the whole time, your hand gliding over his chest.
Slowly, you lowered yourself. The first contact made your mouth fall open slightly. The tip of him pressed against you, and you paused there for a moment just to breathe. Your legs trembled faintly as you started easing yourself down inch by inch. Jake's whining came back louder than before, almost helpless as his hands shot up to grip your hips. His head spun with the sensation, ears ringing as the tight heat of your pussy slowly took him in. Meanwhile your breathing grew heavier the further you sank down, your body adjusting to the stretch.
By the time you were fully seated on him, he was hard again, completely, filling you while your thighs trembled on either side of his hips.
"Fโfuck," you muttered under your breath, biting down on your lower lip as you braced your hands against his chest. You lifted your hips slightly, letting a little of him slide out before lowering yourself again in a slow, controlled motion. The stretch made your face tighten, your brows pulling together as you focused more on the building pleasure than the sharp edge of discomfort from his size. "Fuck... fuck, fuck!"
Jake looked like he was barely holding himself together beneath you. A faint vein stood out along his forehead, his teeth pressing into his lip as he tried to keep quiet. He was clearly trying to control himself, trying not to lose it too fast again. But your hips told a different story. The way you moved, the sight of your body rising and lowering on top of him, the expression on your face as you adjusted to the feelingโit all dragged him closer to the edge again.
"Waitโ wait... ahh," he groaned suddenly. Your hands slid from his chest down toward his knees as you shifted your weight, adjusting your position slightly. The new angle changed the way he felt inside you, and Jake let out another broken sound the moment you started moving again. You rolled your hips carefully at first, searching for the spot that felt right, letting your body experiment with the motion until the pressure finally lined up the way you needed.
A loud moan tore out of you as your hips sped up without thinking, your body chasing the sensation as you kept hitting the same spot again and again. Jake reacted just as quickly, sitting up to distract himself, his mouth finding your chest as he pressed against you. His arms wrapped around your back while his tongue dragged over your nipples, the contact making your whining grow louder with every movement.
Your vision blurred slightly as the sensation kept building, the pressure inside your body tightening in slow, relentless waves that refused to ease up. It felt like sparks were going off behind your eyes, tiny bursts of light flickering every time your hips dropped back down onto him. You were riding him harder now without even realizing it. The bed creaked beneath both of you with every movement, your thighs burning as they worked to keep you balanced while your body chased the pressure building deep in your stomach. Each roll of your hips dragged another broken breath from your lungs, your fingers tightening against his shoulders as the heat between your legs kept climbing higher.
Jake suddenly bit down on your breast. The sharp sting hit at the same moment his body jerked beneath you. His cock throbbed hard inside you as he came again, another hot pulse spilling deep while his hips twitched helplessly under your weight.
"Shit!" you cried out, the sudden jolt of sensation ripping straight through your body.
Jake only answered with a muffled whine against your chest, his mouth still pressed to your skin, hot bursts of air hitting your breast while his teeth loosened and his lips dragged weakly over the spot he'd bitten. His shoulders trembled under your hands, and you could feel the way his body struggled to handle the sensation as it moved through him.
Your hips didn't stop moving even with his body shaking under you, you kept rocking against him, your body chasing the last stretch of the high that hadn't quite broken yet. The movement forced more small sounds out of him, soft whines and broken breaths that vibrated directly into your chest where his face stayed buried. The heat between you felt overwhelming, your bodies still pressed close together while the tension inside you continued to wind tighter and tighter.
"Little more... little moreโ please," you breathed out as the pressure finally climbed to the edge.
Your legs trembled where they were wrapped around his hips, muscles tightening as the feeling crested higher. Your arms slid up around his shoulders, pulling him closer into you while your body reacted, tightening around him as the sensation finally tipped over. Your hips stuttered slightly but didn't stop, still rocking against him as the wave rolled through your body.
For a moment everything felt hot and heavy and loud in your head. What almost made you laugh, though, was the fact that Jake still hadn't stopped. His cock was still twitching inside you while your body clenched around him, another weak pulse followed the last. It felt like you were still milking him dry while your body finished riding out the tail end of your own high.
"Hah..." you breathed out shakily, your hips slowed, your body still moving slightly while you tried to steady yourself. Your chest rose and fell unevenly, lungs dragging in deep breaths as the tension slowly drained from your muscles. The moment stretched out quietly around you, the room filled only with the sound of both of you breathing and the faint rustle of sheets under your shifting weight.
Eventually your strength gave out. Your body leaned forward, pressing closer to him as the last of the tension faded from your limbs. You tilted your head down and brushed a soft kiss against his lips. It lingered there for a second, both of you still catching your breath as his mouth responded weakly beneath yours.
As your body finally relaxed, you let yourself slump forward and collapse gently against his shoulder, your cheek resting against his skin while your chest rose and fell heavily. Jake stayed still beneath you, arms loose around your back as you feel the world around you collapsed.
Sometimes, the universe had a sick sense of humor. It let you taste something so perfect just long enough for you to believe in it, only to remind you the next morning that happiness wasn't something you were allowed to hold on to without consequences. Maybe that was the lesson life kept trying to shove down your throat. Not every good moment turns into a good life.
Luck was temporary, a fleeting thing people grabbed with desperate hands. It felt real when it happenedโbright and full and intoxicatingโbut it never stayed long. Because every time the universe handed you something good, there was always that lurking feeling in the back of your head that a disaster was waiting right around the corner, ready to collect the price.
You woke up to the sound of wind slamming violently against the windows. The glass rattled in its frame, branches scraping somewhere outside like fingers clawing at the walls. You groaned under your breath and rolled onto your back, one hand dragging lazily across your face before scratching the back of your head. Your body felt heavy, muscles loose from sleep, your brain foggy as hell. For a moment everything felt blurryโyour surroundings, your thoughts, the slow realization creeping in that something wasn't quite right. Then you stretched your arms above your head, arching your back slightly, and your eyes opened fully.
You weren't in your room. The ceiling looked different. Your stomach flipped when the memory from last night flickered somewhere in the back of your mind... And Jake wasn't beside you.
"Huh?" you muttered to yourself, the confusion hitting you all at once. You sat up quickly, the blanket sliding down to your lap as you scanned the room. His desk lamp was off, the room dim except for the gray light leaking through the curtains from the storm outside. That was when you noticed the small pill sitting neatly on the bedside table beside a glass of water.
You reached for it slowly, fingers curling around the foil packet as your eyes squinted to read the label. Plan B. You stared at it for a long moment, turning it between your fingers. You were still dressed in your own clothesโsame shirt, same shorts from yesterday. The apartment was quiet except for the storm raging outside, and when you glanced toward the corner of the room, you noticed the power strip lights were dead.
No electricity. Ah...right. The storm. You rubbed your face with one hand and slid out of the bed, walking over to the window to push it shut more firmly. The wind was forcing cold air through the cracks, when you finished, you stepped into the hallway and padded slowly toward the living room.
"Hey," you sighed in relief the moment you saw him.
Jake stood near the kitchen counter, quietly cleaning up the snack wrappers and empty cups left behind from earlier.
Your shoulders relaxed instantly at the sight of him. You walked closer. "Just clean it in the morning. It's really dark in here. You could trip on something." Your hand reached out automatically, fingers brushing his shoulder in a familiar, comfortable gesture. "I mean it's likeโwhatโ11:45 PM? Let's just go back to bedโ"
"Uh." He cut you off. Your smile faded immediately when he gently removed your hand from his shoulder without even looking at you. He tossed the trash bag into the bin, his back stiff as he turned slightly away. It felt like someone had flipped a switch.
No, worse. It felt like everything had reset back to the beginning.
"Jake?" you said carefully. You stepped toward him, but before you could say anything else, he brushed past you and walked straight down the hallway. The door to his room shut with a quiet click, and you were left standing there in the middle of the living room. Confused. Frozen.
"Jake?" you called again, your voice smaller now as you walked toward his door. Your chest tightened, questions crashing into your head all at once.
What did you do? Everything had felt fine. More than fine. You were laughing, he looked happy. You were happy. So what the hell changed?
Maybe he was just overwhelmed. Maybe this was new to him. Jake wasn't the type of guy who would just shut someone out after something that intimate... right? Right?
You rested your hand lightly against the door, staring at the wood like you could see through it. "I'll give you time," you said quietly through the door. "Just... talk to me, okay?"
But he never did. The next morning came, then the day after that, and then the days kept piling on top of each other. Every time you knocked on his door, there was no answer. Sometimes you tried the doorknob just in case, hoping maybe it had been left unlocked by accident, but it never was. Always locked. Always shut. You would linger in the living room longer than usual, pretending to scroll through your phone or watch something, just waiting for the sound of his door opening. It never happened.
When classes started again, the pattern became obvious. Jake would leave ridiculously early, long before you even woke up. His shoes would be gone from the rack by the door, his bag missing from the chair. Sometimes the only proof he'd even been home was the faint smell of his almond milk lingering in the kitchen or the clean plate drying on the rack. And SundaysโGod, Sundays were the worst. That used to be the one day he was always around, fixing something in the apartment, tinkering with his stupid robots or cooking meals. Now you would wake up, step into the living room, and the place would feel hollow.
You never found him there anymore. And every night before eight, the same thing happened. His room stayed dark and empty. Is he avoiding you? Dumbass. Of course he is. How naive could you be to pretend you hadn't noticed already? The signs were right there! He wasn't busy. He wasn't overwhelmed. He was avoiding you.
You didn't fucking understand. That was the worst part. If he had said somethingโanythingโyou could've dealt with it. You could've argued with him, yelled at him, laughed it off if it turned out to be something stupid. But this silence? This cowardly disappearing act? It drove you insane.
You wanted to talk to him.
Hell, you wanted to curse him out.
After you had sex, that's it? That's fucking it? What the hell was going on inside his head? You kept replaying that night over and over in your mind, trying to find the moment where everything went wrong. The chess game. The teasing. The kiss. The way he had looked at you like he wanted you just as much as you wanted him.
You're n0t dumb, you refuse to be dumb. You are fucking sure he felt that pull too. You are not delusional, right? You felt it! You fucking felt it in your hands, in your body, in your soul.
"I had sex," you said flatly, staring into nothing.
Ryujin barely reacted at first, just giving you a quick side glance as she continued bouncing theย against the wall. It was the start of regional training, but your head was somewhere else entirely. Karina was off in Japan, living her best life, leaving you here dealing with whatever the hell this was. Figures. Of course she'd disappear right when you actually needed someone to scream at.
"Congrats?" Ryujin finally said, catching the ball and tossing it lightly in her hands. "What's with the long face?"
You watched the ball leave her hand again, hit the wall, bounce back in the same rhythm. You shrugged, forcing your shoulders to move like it didn't matter. "I don't know. He's not talking to me."
Ryujin's lips pressed into a thin line as she caught the ball again, this time pausing for a second before throwing it harder. "He?" she repeated, tone already shifting into something judgmental. "As usual. Men are usually like that. Don't expect anything from them, reallyโ"
"Heโ" you cut her off. You exhaled hard, running your hand through your hair as your irritation flared up. "He is not like those other men." And the way you said it was defensive. You weren't letting her lump him into that category. Not him.
"I'm his first," you added, like you were trying to convince both her and yourself at the same time. "It must've been... awkward for him. I don't know. Maybe he didn't like it, maybe that's why he's avoiding me. I'm sureโ"
Your hand pressed against your chest, fingers gripping your shirt like you could physically hold onto the feeling buried there. You turned to look at her fully now, your expression tighter, more serious than before.
"I'm sure he likes me," you said, voice lower, more vulnerable than you wanted it to be. "But... why won't he talk to me?"
Ryujin stared at you for a long second, like she was trying to figure out how deep you were already in before deciding how hard she needed to hit you with reality. Then she let out a sharp sigh. She crouched down in front of you, dropping the ball to the floor where it rolled a little before settling between her feet, forgotten.
"Look," she started, hands lifting and gesturing in the air like she was trying to physically piece her thoughts together. "IโI'm not good at this shit, okay? I don't do... whatever the hell this is." She paused, sucking in a breath before pointing straight at you. "I like girls. I don't deal with men and their bullshit. But youโ" her finger jabbed lightly toward your chest again. "Did you seriously just let your guard down with a man because you think he's not like the rest of those fuckers?"
"You don't get itโ" you tried to cut in, frustration rising immediately, your brows pulling together as your hands clenched at your sides, you had to defend Jake.
"I do not," she shot back just as fast, her voice is sharp as her words, it was cutting right through you. She straightened slightly but stayed crouched in front of you, her eyes locked onto yours. "I'm not the one who got fucked and then ghosted. That's you."
For a second you couldn't even respond. Your jaw tightened, your throat going dry, but she didn't stop.
"You're the one who knows him," she continued. "You're the one who keeps telling me all this shit about how he's different, how he's nice or whag." She exhaled through her nose, shaking her head slightly. "So yeah, I'm gonna say whatever the hell I want because you're the one feeding me all of that, and now you're sitting here confused like this came out of nowhere."
You swallowed hard, your chest tightening as her words started sinking in deeper than you wanted them to. Because she wasn't entirely wrong. Even Karina would say that to your face even though she started this all. Because,look at you. What the hell happen to you?
"But he's not like that," you insisted again, though your voice wasn't as strong this time. "He wouldn't just... use me and leave. That's not him."
Ryujin tilted her head slightly, studying your face like she was trying to decide if you actually believed that or if you were just desperately clinging to it.
"Then what is it?" she asked. "Because from where I'm standing, it looks exactly like that."
You opened your mouth, ready to argue, ready to defend him againโbut nothing came out. Because you didn't know.
Your mind scrambled for an explanation, something that made sense, something that fit the version of Jake you had built in your head. The quiet guy who cooked for you, who stayed up to watch your games, who held you gently like you mattered.
That Jake wouldn't just disappear. Right?
"He's not... confident," you said finally, grasping at something, anything. "He overthinks. He gets overwhelmed. Maybe he just doesn't know what to do after... after everything."
Ryujin didn't immediately respond. She just watched you. "Okay," she said after a moment, nodding slowly. "Let's say you're right. Let's say he's just overwhelmed or confused or whatever the hell excuse you want to give him." She leaned forward a little, her gaze narrowing. "Then why isn't he talking to you?"
Right...
"Because if he actually liked you the way you think he does," she continued, "he wouldn't just leave you hanging like this. He'd at least try. Even if he's awkward. Even if he's bad at it. He'd try."
Your chest tightened again, your fingers curling into your shirt as you looked away from her, your thoughts spiraling.
You hated how that made sense.
"I'm not saying he doesn't like you," Ryujin added, exhaling as she picked the ball back up and held it loosely in her hands. "But liking someone and actually doing something about it? Two very different things."
Then she tossed the ball lightly toward you, snapping you out of your thoughts.
"Talk to him," she said simply.
You blinked, catching it automatically.
"He's avoiding me," you muttered, the frustration creeping back in.
"Then corner him," she shot back without hesitation. "You're telling me you can chase down a ball flying out of bounds but you can't corner that one?"
Ryujin stood up fully now, rolling her shoulders before glancing down at you one last time.
"Stop overthinking what he feels," she added,"You're already doing enough of that for the both of you. Just get your answer straight from him."
She paused, then addedโ "And if he still runs? Then you'll know exactly what kind of guy he is."
Your steps were sharp and fast as you made your way back to the apartment. The towel hung loosely over your shoulder, damp from training, your hair still slightly wet from sweat, as your mind was too busy running in circles, replaying his silence, replaying that night over and over until it made your chest feel tight.
You weren't going to let this drag on anymore.
Your grip tightened around the plastic bag in your hand, the thin material crinkling loudly as your fingers dug into it. You inhaled deeply like you were preparing yourself for something bigger than just a conversation. Maybe this was itโthe point where everything either made sense or completely fell apart.
You weren't even sure which one you were more afraid of.
You exhaled sharply and stopped in front of your door, staring at it for a second longer. You didn't believe in fate. But right now, you found yourself hopingโjust a littleโthat whatever the hell this was would finally lead somewhere. That all this confusion, all this frustration, wouldn't just end in nothing.
You pushed the door open with another exhale and there he was.
Jake stood in the living room, slightly hunched over as he turned on the robots one by one. Whitey buzzed to life first, then Pinky, while Bumble sat near the TV, its faint light flickering on. The scene looked so normal, so painfully familiar, like nothing had changed.
Except everything had.
He froze the second he saw you. His eyes widened behind his glasses, his whole body going stiff. Your jaw tightened. Of course he looked shocked. You weren't supposed to be here this early. You were supposed to be at training, sweating it out, you had just ran away from your training when it was supposed to be a short fucking break.
Your gaze didn't leave him, watching every small movement as he scrambled slightly. His hand hovered awkwardly near the table, his body already shifting like he was about to moveโprobably toward his room, probably to shut the door again, probably to run.
Not this time. Before he could even take a full step, you moved.
Your feet carried you across the room in seconds, your hand shooting out to grab his shoulder and shove him back before he could react. His back hit the wall, the impact making him wince, a strained sound slipping past his lips as his body tensed. "H-Hurts..." he muttered, teeth clenching as his eyes squeezed shut for a second.
And yeah, for a split second, you felt itโthat flicker of guilt in your chest. But it didn't last. Your hands pressed harder against his shoulders, keeping him there, pinning him in place before he could even think about slipping away again. You could feel the tension in his body, the way he stiffened under your touch, but he didn't push you off. He didn't try to fight back.
"Let's talk, Jake." Your voice came out firm, leaving no room for excuses this time.
His eyes opened slowly, meeting yours, and you saw it again. That same look. Conflicted. Overwhelmed.
"Iโ" he started, his voice catching immediately, like the words got stuck somewhere in his throat. His hands twitched at his sides, unsure, restless, like he didn't know where to put them or what to do with them.
You leaned in just slightly. "No," you cut him off, shaking your head. "You don't get to 'Iโ' your way out of this again."Your grip on his shoulders tightened just a bit. "You've been avoiding me for days," you continued. "Locked doors, leaving early, disappearing on weekendsโwhat the hell is that, Jake?"
He swallowed hard, his gaze flickering away from yours for a second before snapping back, like he couldn't decide where to look. "I wasn'tโ" he tried again, weaker this time.
"You were," you cut in immediately, your expression is pained. "Don't lie to me. Not now."
Silence fell between you for a moment, filled only by the faint whirring of the robots moving around the floor like nothing was happening.
Your chest rose and fell with a deep breath before you forced the words out. "Was it a mistake?" you asked, eyes locked on him, searching for anythingโany reaction, any sign that this wasn't all in your head.
The silence stretched for a second too long, and you pushed again, your voice tightening despite yourself. "Because if it was," you continued, "then just say it. Don't do this shit where you pretend I don't exist."
Jake didn't answer. He didn't even look at you.
His head stayed slightly turned away, his gaze fixed somewhere past your shoulder like you weren't even there. You watched his lips press together, then part slightly as he bit down on the inside of it, nervous and restless. His fingers twitched at his sides, fidgeting in that familiar way you used to find endearingโtapping against his thigh, curling and uncurling like he didn't know what to do with them.
Now it just pissed you off.
"Jake," you whispered, your voice dropping. Your hand moved without thinking, fingers brushing against his cheek, turning his face toward you despite the resistance. His skin was warm under your touch, his jaw tense, and when his eyes finally met yours, it only made your chest ache more. "Those things we did... was it just a mistake?" you asked again. "Talk to me. Iโ I thought we... we were going somewhere." Your voice faltered, breaking in the middle of your sentence. "Is it... just me?"
You hated how the quetion made you sound so small.
You didn't even realize you were crying until a tear slipped down your cheek, warm against your skin.
"I like you too much," you admitted, your voice trembling now, barely holding together. "Is that wrong?" You sniffed, your lips shaking as you tried to keep yourself from completely falling apart in front of him. But Jakeโhe still wasn't saying anything. He wasn't moving. He wasn't even looking at you properly anymore, his gaze dropping again like he couldn't handle it.
Like he couldn't handle you.
"Talk to me, please," you said again, more desperate this time. Your fingers tapped lightly against his cheek, not harsh, just enough to get his attention, to pull him back to you. You leaned forward until your forehead pressed against his, your eyes closing as your tears kept falling, your grip on his face tightening just a little like you were afraid he'd slip away if you let go. "Just... say something," you whispered, your breath uneven, your whole body tense with the wait.
Maybe he just needed time.
Maybe he wasn't good with words.
Maybe he just needed a push.
But how long were you supposed to wait?
"Talk to me, fuck it!" you suddenly snapped, your voice breaking as it rose, the frustration and hurt finally spilling over. Your hands dropped from his face back to his shoulders, gripping him again, harder this time. You felt him flinch under your touch, his body trembling slightly as he shook his head.
"Sorry... Jake... please," you muttered again, your voice dropping back down, almost pleading now. Your grip loosened without you realizing it, your fingers slipping from his shoulders as something cold settled in your chest. The moment his hands gently moved yours awayโcareful, hesitant, but firm enough to create distanceโit felt like everything just... stopped.
Like the world paused right there.
"I like you too much, is that wrong?" you repeated, but this time it came out emptier. Your arms fell to your sides, your gaze dropping to the floor because you couldn't keep looking at him anymore. "It's pathetic," you let out a weak, humorless breath. "And I'm still here, choosing to be open about it, getting fucking desperate over you." Your fingers curled into fists at your sides as you forced yourself to look up again, your eyes glassy but steady. "Tell me... do I really not mean anything to you?"
You lifted your hand slightly, pointing at his chest, right over his heart.Your throat felt tight, dry, like every word you were about to say had to claw its way out, and still, you forced it. You needed to hear it. Needed him to say it straight instead of hiding behind silence. Needed something solid, even if it fucking hurt.
"S-sorry." He shook his head, not even meeting your eyes, and that alone felt worse than anything he could've said. "IโI... I don't think I feel the same way, that's why I-I feel guilty... on what happen... Sorry." The words stumbled out of him, broken and unsure, but they landed heavy, each one hitting you like a punch you didn't even try to dodge.
You were the one who dropped your head this time, your gaze falling to the floor as your mouth parted slightly, like you were about to say somethingโbut nothing came out. Your ears started ringing loud, drowning out everything else. Everything blurred into this distant, muted noise while your mind tried to catch up, tried to process what the fuck he just said. It didn't make sense. It didn't line up with anything you felt, anything you thought you saw in him. Your chest tightened, breath coming in shallow, uneven pulls like your body forgot how to do something as basic as breathing.
"Sorry..." he said again, softer this time, like repeating it would somehow make it better, like it would fix anything. It didn't. It just made your vision blur more, tears spilling out faster than you could stop them, your face heating up with it as you stood there, stuck, unable to move forward or back.
"T-The things you d-did? T-The things w-we did?" Your voice cracked, stuttering over itself as you tried to piece together something that would make this make sense. But it didn't. None of it fucking did. Bullshit. This was bullshit. You were still denying it even as it was being shoved right in your face, because accepting it felt worse than anything else. What was he even saying? That it meant nothing? That you meant nothing? That all of thatโevery look, every touchโwas just... what? A mistake?
"I-I just want to be a g-good roommate b-because I-I can't b-be vocal like a normal person... Uh... I'm sorryโ" He kept going, stumbling through his explanation, but it only made your head spin more, your frustration bubbling up underneath the hurt. His words felt disconnected, like excuses that didn't match what actually happened between you.
"We had sex." You cut through it, your voice barely above a whisper, but it hit harder than anything else you said. Your eyes darted anywhere but at himโwalls, floor, the stupid edge of the tableโlike maybe one of them would give you an answer, something to hold onto. But there was nothing. Just that same suffocating silence pressing in around you.
"I-I'm s-sorry, really. P-Please." His foot tapped nervously against the floor, the sound sharp and repetitive, grating against your already fraying nerves.
You shook your head slowly, the motion weak, almost disbelieving, as the plastic bag slipped from your hand without you even noticing. It hit the floor with a soft crumple before spilling open, the Hot Wheels cars tumbling out and scattering across the tiles.
Jake's eyes dropped immediately, widening as he stared at the mess, his chest tightening visibly. But you didn't follow his gaze. You couldn't. Your focus stayed unfixed, your steps already moving backward as your fists clenched and unclenched at your sides, your body didn't know what to do with all the shit building up inside you.
"Sorry." The word left your mouth, not even sounding like it belonged to you. It wasn't clear what you were apologizing for anymoreโyour feelings, your assumptions, yourselfโbut it was the only thing you could manage before turning away.
You walked out, leaving everything behind. The hallway felt narrow, too suffocating, like the walls were closing in the longer you stayed there, so you kept moving, one step after another, not even caring where the hell you were going as long as it was away. Your breathing was uneven, chest rising too fast, like you couldn't get enough air no matter how hard you tried.
You sniffled harshly, dragging the back of your hand across your face, smearing tears you couldn't seem to fucking stop. It was frustratingโannoying as hellโbecause you hated crying like this.
"Stop," you muttered under your breath. "Just fucking stop." But it didn't listen. The tears kept coming, blurring your vision until everything in front of you looked warped and unstable.
By the time you reached the stairwell, your steps had already turned sloppy, careless. You barely held onto the railing, your grip loose, your focus shot. Your eyes stung, your nose clogged, your head pounding with everything you were tryingโand failingโto process. You took a step down, then another, too fast, too unsteadyโ
โand your foot slipped.
"Shit!" The curse tore out of you as your body lurched forward, your balance completely gone. You didn't even have time to catch yourself before you went down hard, your back hitting first, then your shoulder, then your face grazing against the edge of a step. The impact knocked the air out of you, an ugly sound leaving your throat as pain shot through your body.
For a moment, you just stayed there, sprawled awkwardly on the cold concrete, your body stunned. The pain registered slowlyโyour back aching, your limbs sore, your face throbbingโbut none of it hit as hard as what was already twisting inside your chest. It was dull compared to that. Almost nothing.
You pushed yourself up slowly, wincing as your body protested, your hand pressing against the floor for support. Warm liquid dripped down over your lips, and when you touched your nose, your fingers came away stained red. Blood. Of course. You let out a weak, humorless breath, almost a laugh but not quite, your shoulders shaking for all the wrong reasons.
You just... gave up.
You dragged yourself to the side, leaning heavily against the wall, your body curling in on itself like you were trying to make yourself smaller, less visible, less there. Your palm covered your face, but it didn't do shit to muffle the sound that came out of youโa broken, shaky whine that turned into full-on crying before you could stop it. Your chest hurt, your throat burned, your head spun, and everythingโeverythingโfelt like too much.
It fucking hurt.
Not just your body, not just the sting on your face or the soreness creeping into your muscles.
You were that lonely, weren't you? A pathetic loser crying in a stairwell because she got rejected. Because she let herself believe something that wasn't even real to begin with.
You let out a shaky breath, your hand tightening against your face as if you could press the thought away. "I told you so," you muttered to yourself. You sounded fucking ridiculous. Delusional, even. Thinking it meant something. Thinking he meant something.
Of course you were the one who initiated it. Of course you were the one who crossed the line first. Sex in college was normalโcasual, meaningless, easy to walk away from. People did it all the time!
You fucking hated it. Because you weren't built for that.
In the end, it all lined up, didn't it?
Unlucky with money. Unlucky with sex. Unlucky with love.
You let out a weak, broken laugh that dissolved immediately into another sob, your body curling tighter against the wall as if that would hold you together.
So... My glorious gorgeous pretty talented author, just wanted to ask you when the second part of this equally glorious FIC is coming cuz my ass can't wait no moree.
ORโฆ in which jesus absolutely did not die for your sins just for you to go and corrupt your local priest. but hey, at least youโre kneeling!
PAIRING priest park sunghoon x siren reader. ๐ฟ playlist teaser wc 2.4k โ est. wc 30kish โโโ taglist is open! ๐ โฆ this story will contain heavy smut โ mdni teaser containsโฆ just plot for now. modern supernatural world, supernaturals live in secret (inspired by tvd), strangers to friends to lovers, angst, fluff, a grumpy hopeless romantic reader, sheโs also #suicidal, corruption duh, shit ton of religious guilt, ft. sunoo as the token sarcastic human bestie, full fic will contain more tags!
๐ข big fat thank you to my undead girl gang because this wouldnโt exist w/o you @intromortal @soulofsim <3 #romancemortalworld
THERE ARE MANY REASONS one goes to church.
Faith. Salvation. Spiritual guidance. The hope of feeling less alone in the world. Or, as Hozier once so wisely put it, to worship like a dog.
Or in your case, because you had a dream.
If that does not sound ominous and odd enough, then factor in your madness fueled research spiral of Reddit theorists flying much too close to the sun with supernatural theories that ought to make their little mortal brains burst if they knew any of it was real and precisely what you were desperately hoping would work.
Because so far in all your existence, not a single man in this loathsome world had ever been immune to your charm, or your song.
And you were biblically determined to find one.
โฑโ โฑโ โฑโ
You walk along the nave in Saint Evanโs, your pointy red Louboutins clicking on the stone. As you glance around, you note that the pews are fairly full, but what seems to stand out is how there is a very specific demographic of women. Blowouts. Shiny lip gloss. Standout outfits and midi skirts in the name of plausible deniability.ย
How peculiar! Out of sheer nosiness, you peek into a few of their minds.ย
God, is this top too much? Itโs definitely too much, worries one woman in a bold red lip. (it is too much.) I need to get it together. He could be my sonโs age, Anyway, can this church afford air conditioningโฆ thinks another. I canโt believe he used to boxโฆ I would let him beat my pโ Wait, isnโt that Y/N? Jesus Christ, the shape of that ass! Oh, Lord forgive meโฆ
The more minds you intrude upon, the more you realize there is a common denominator among them.
Father Sunghoon, this. Father Sunghoon, that. Who the hell is this Father Sunghoon?
You stare at the congregation with faint disdain. Is this mass hysteria? Haha. Mass Hysteria. But, seriously, have these women truly come to Holy Grounds just to ogle the priest? How blasphemous! you think. That someoneโs faith would be so shallow as to indulge in such repulsive behavior here.
As if any man is worth such theatrics.
Then again, who are you to scrutinize anyoneโs faith when your own is so dismal? But at least unlike the divorcee three pews over with the scandalous neckline, you possess shameโ
โI was wondering when youโd find your way over here.โ
The silvery voice comes from just behind you and interrupts your train of thought, and when you turn, a priest stands there.
God.
He might be the most beautiful man you have ever seen.
The young priest is illuminatingly pale, which only made the dark sweep of his black hair and his thick brows stand out all the more in contrast. There is something almost glacial in the sheer excess of this mortal's beauty. Tall, sharp jawline, broad shoulders, and overall athletic.ย
Many thoughts run through your head abruptly. Is he new in town? You have never seen him before, which is odd because you know just about everyone. He looks rather young for a priest. Oh, how infuriating it is not to be able to read his mind due to his vows!ย
This, you assume and quickly receive confirmation from nearby women pretending not to stare, must be the Father Sunghoon.
Oh. Wait. You've been staring at him for far too long.ย
You clear your throat, pretending you have not just been gawking at a priest in the middle of a church. โInteresting choice of words there. What, are you like a psychic or something?โ
The handsome priest laughs lightly, the rosary at his neck glinting. โPsychic? Not at all. I simply try to greet every newcomer as though they were always meant to find their way here. Iโm Father Sunghoon, by the way.โ
So heโs just charming and beautiful and utterly welcoming? No wonder everybody is feeling rather sacrilegious.ย
Eh. You are not moved.
Beauty is hardly everything. You of all people would know that, considering youโre you and had eaten a man not very long before arriving. So for all you know, he could be a latent weirdo and slash or homicidalโฆ Besides, you are not in the habit of warming easily to men anyway. Or ever.
โฑโ โฑโ โฑโ
OUTSIDE, THE EVENING SUMMER air burns nearly as fiercely as the hunger still pulsing through you to bleed that boy dry.
Gluttony. One of your more recurring sins.ย
So now you stand in the shadow behind Saint Evanโs, trying to calm down by lighting a fickle thing mortals use for comfort, that has absolutely no effect on you save for making you look sultrier than you already are.
Unfortunately, your stupid goddamn lighter refuses to cooperate.ย
On top of that, all of a sudden you hear footsteps and this agitating, grating voiceโฆ
โAre you alright?โ
It might just be the overstimulation talking (it is), but right now you loathe this priest and you want him to die.
You turn with the cigarette tucked between your lips and find Father Sunghoon standing a few respectful feet away with a look of concern etched into his face, light kissing his pale skin as if the sun itself exists to serve him. โWhy are you here?โ
The priest raises an eyebrow. โItโs not everyday a woman runs out of churchโฆ like that. Iโm confused. Have I done something to offend you?โ
You sigh. You could probably take it easy on him, you know? โNo. No, you know what actually? Iโm not alright,โ you mumble through your cigarette. โMy fucking lighter isnโt working, and Iโm starting to feel that God has fucking abandoned me.โ
The young priest clicks his tongue, faintly reproving at your taking the Lordโs name in vain. โBad girl. Donโt take the Lordโs name in vain,โ he laughs boyishly. โLet me help.โ
Did he justโฆ?ย
Before you can react, he steps close enough that the air between you alters as you catch a whiff of him. Oh, he smellsโฆ maddening.ย
Control yourself.ย
You hold your breath as he reaches into the pocket of his cassock and pulls out a lighter. Sunghoonโs cups the flame from the light breeze, and you inhale once it is lit, thanking him before you exhale a tad bit of smoke.ย
This feels far too intimate a moment to share with a goddamn priest you have only just met.
โArenโt you supposed to be discouraging me from death, Father?โ
Sunghoonโs mouth curves upwards. He reaches into the same pocket again, draws out a cigarette of his own, and lights it. โMaybe,โ he shrugs coolly, smoke curling from his lips. โBut I have a feeling Iโm in no position to be lecturing you.โ
You eye the cigarette between his fingers and let out a small laugh out of disbelief. โWow. Is following a woman you just met out of church and smoking with her also part of your priest training or something?โ
The priest handsomely smirks. โThink of this as a special service.โ
You blush like a flustered mortal woman. What is happening to you right now? How stupid! โAmazing,โ you quip, trying to brush it off with a joke. โI feel like the chosen one. I feel so honored to be singled out for your care.โ
The priest shrugs. โYou do seem to need a terrible amount of it.โ
You narrow your eyes at the smoking (hot) priest. โAre you literally judging me in church, Father?โย
โWeโre outside,โ he says flatly.ย
You roll your eyes, blowing a puff of smoke out. โI donโt like you.โ
Sunghoon traces a mocking tear down his cheek. โIโll live.โ
You just look at him, wholly unimpressed. You do hate to admit that he is so sincere and funny, though (and annoyingly charming.) The last priest you remember here had felt less like a man and more like a vessel trying to impersonate Christ himself. Somehow this one annoys you more, because a man simply cannot be sexy, brooding, charismatic, beautiful, sarcastic and kind altogether. This is the greed they spoke of in the bible.
โSo,โ the young priest goes on, glancing at you through the drift of smoke in the air, โwhat brings you to Mass today? Surely youโre not here just to run away to smoke and make yourโฆ dislike towards me so wonderfully obvious.โ
โYouโre awfully conversational for a man I just told I donโt like. Also, what, did you expect me to likeโฆ swoon or something?โ you retort curtly, biting back the urge to say like the rest of those women.
He laughs again, and you decide that sound irritates you too. โForgive me for having hope and expecting basic politeness.โย
You mimic how heโd done a fake tear. โYouโll live. And please donโt get all priestly on me. Iโm being polite, thank you very much. I just donโt know you. For all I know, you could beโฆ like a psychotic murderer or something.โ
Father Sunghoon faintly laughs, clearly finding you amusing. โIโm enjoying this progression. Psychic. Psychotic murdererโฆ The theme seems to be the letter P. Have you considered priest?โ
You narrow your eyes, biting back a smile when he lazily smirks. Ugh! โI fear your vows do not exempt you from the possibilities under review. As every woman knows upon meeting a man. I simply happen to conduct my evaluations out loud.โ
โReally? I couldnโt tell,โ he replies stoically.ย
โDonโt get sarcastic with me, Father.โ
โSunghoon.โ
โWhat?โ
โIf youโre going to share a cigarette and argue with me,โ he says, his eyes dropping briefly to your mouth around the filter, โI think we can manage Sunghoon.โ
And suddenly you remember why you are here.
What is wrong with you? God, youโre pricklier today, even more so than usual. Why are you bantering and smoking with a priest? Priorities, please?ย
Itโs so ridiculous of you to have been distracted for your reason of being here by a beautiful face. You are no better than the men you bait.
Letโs test the stupid holy-man myth.
With focus, you velvetly and quietly sing to him, soundless to anyone else but him. โKiss me.โ
Just then, Sunghoon moves, and your unyielding immortal heart faintly squeezes in your chestโ
Only for him to flick ash off his cigarette and look at you as though nothing at all has happened.
Holy shit.ย
The holy-man myth is real.
A delighted satisfied smile curls over your mouth. โSo. Sunghoon, what would you do if I said I came here today for reasons that are not especially holy?โ
โIโd sayโฆ Iโm pretty sure I gathered that,โ Sunghoon stubs out his cigarette beneath the heel of his shoe, then he tugs on his collar. โBut above it all Iโd say God is less concerned with why you came than with the fact that you came at all. Heโll love you as you are...โ
You barely even register what he is saying.ย
Because with his head turned at an angle of this sort as he takes his cigarette out, you spot a tattoo at the edge of his black collar, right at the nape of his neck.
It is one of a bleeding gothic cross with sharp edges, that has a gemstone set at its center and chains trailing from it. It seems wholly unique and personal, definitely not like the sort of tattoo a mortal picks at some random parlor on a drunken Saturday night. But you have still seen it before.ย
In your dreams.
โฑโ โฑโ โฑโ
A FEW DAYS LATER, Sunoo, naturally, conducts several investigative scrolls and somehow uncovers their Instagrams. Yes, plural. Their. There are not one, not two, but three newly transferred hot priests currently operating out of Saint Evanโs.
Suddenly, your friends felt the Holy Spirit moving through them and became ever so devoted children of God. Meaning, operation Hot Priest Summer was in motion for Nia and Stella. Your stance, however, was very much a firm no.
You pause the karaoke on the TV and turn to Sunoo. โSunoo, for the love of God, stop fantasizing about how many abs my goddamn priest has under his cassocks!โ
โFork found in kitchen. Me soon on that sexy taurus priests dick,โ Nia quips.ย
โItโs not my fault Father Sexy Priest is an ex boxer!โ Sunoo gasps and clutches his head as if that will somehow barricade his thoughts from you. โI am literally going to become a priest just to have some privacy. I cannot live like this anymore.โ
โฆ
After a while of back and forth persuasions from your friends, you reconsider your stance onโฆ operation corrupt a priest.
See, your friends werenโt surprised when you said no. They know perfectly well that you had never once been tempted to sleep with a man who was not your late fiancรฉe. A lifetime of religious guilt had done an efficient job on you! So would the fact that you just donโt want to have sex with men. Casually or not.ย
But.
There was just something about that damned priest that kept pulling you in.
Weird symbolic tattoo gate aside โ and yes, yes, heโs handsome and all that but it is not just thatโฆ (that doesnโt mean you are one of those gorgeous women who bafflingly date ugly men for their personalities.)
Ironically, he was tantalizing in a way men almost never were to you, as if he were the siren and you the fool drifting happily toward the song.
Plus, he was immune. Hello?ย
It would be nice to be wanted by a man who could see you and want you because he found you funny. Or nice. (though you were not making a particularly compelling case for that factor right now.) Rather than one who regards you as an object to acquire or pin beneath his own desire.ย
The concept of corrupting a priest by getting him into bed does possess a sumptuous appealโฆ
And if he falls in love with you and dies? That sounds very much like a him problem.
Oh, God.ย
You really are going out with a bang either way, arenโt you?
โI think Iโm in for the wholeโฆ Hot Priest Summer thing.โ
โOh my God? Sing it with me ladies!โ Sunoo presses play on the TV and pretends to hold a microphone once more. โI will be your father figureee, put your tiny hand in mineee, I will be your preacherrr, teacherโโ
synopsis : living next door to lee heeseung has always been a nightmare loud, cocky, and impossible to ignore until one reckless night at a party leaves you waking up in his bed and running before it can mean anything you try to forget it ever happened, until two lines change everything, and suddenly the one person you canโt stand is the one you canโt escape.
pairing : basketball captain heeseung x neighbourf!reader
trope : accidental pregnancy + forced proximity
word count : 19.6k
warnings : heeseung is a an absolute asshole, accidental pregnancy, alot panic and guilt, abortion / termination discussion, fear of the future, alcohol use, one night stand, dirty talking, cursing, foreplay, dry humping, oral, drunk sex ( consent is present ) , unprotected sex, mild degradation, hair pulling, creampie
๐ฏ๏ธ JOโs NOTES < ๐ปโโ๏ธ 3 ! : omggg finallyy juno part one is out, hope you have an absolute amazing time when reading. navi did the proofreading for me ilysmm <3333
The bass from the apartment next door was so loud it made your pencil roll off the desk for the third time tonight thump thump thump. Each beat vibrated through the thin wall like it was personally trying to ruin your life.
You stared at the half finished notes in front of you, frustration bubbling hot in your chest. Midterms were in two weeks. Two weeks and Lee Heeseung, the campus golden boy, basketball captain, and your personal nightmare of a neighbor was throwing another one of his legendary parties like tomorrow didnโt exist.
This was the nth time. The nth damn time since youโd moved in six months ago. With a sharp exhale, you shoved your chair back and stormed out of your apartment, not even bothering to change out of your oversized hoodie and sweatpants. The hallway reeked of spilled beer and expensive cologne.
You could already hear the chaos before you even reached his door. Laughter, glasses clinking, some girlโs high pitched giggle cutting through the music.
You banged on the door harder than necessary. It took a few seconds before someone inside yelled over the noise, โYoo Heeseung! Someoneโs banging at your front door!โThe door finally swung open.
Heeseung stood there in all his infuriating glory tall, broad shouldered, black hair slightly tousled like heโd been running his hands through it. His button up was half undone, revealing a silver chain that rested on his collarbones and a glimpse of toned chest. Behind him, the party pulsed with red solo cups, dim lights, and at least half the basketball team.
A pretty girl with long hair and a tight dress was pressed close to his side, her hand resting possessively on his arm. Heโd clearly been in the middle of charming her into his bed by the end of the night.
The second his dark eyes landed on you, that signature cocky smirk curved his lips.โHi, miss morals,โ he drawled, voice low and teasing, like heโd been waiting for this exact interruption.
You rolled your eyes so hard it was a miracle they didnโt get stuck. โCan you turn it down? The music is too loud.โ
Heeseung didnโt move. Instead, he leaned one shoulder against the doorframe, crossing his arms in a way that made his biceps strain against the fabric of his shirt. The girl behind him shifted, clearly annoyed at the sudden attention shift, but Heeseung didnโt spare her a glance now.
โMiss morals strikes again,โ he laughed, the sound rich and mocking. It sent an unwelcome spark of irritation down your spine. โWhatโs the problem this time, neighbor? Come to bless us with your righteous presence?โ
โIโm serious, Heeseung,โ you said, voice sharp as you folded your arms tightly across your chest. โNot everyone has the pleasure of partying all night. Others have to actually study to pass their exams whereas others can just have daddy pay for everything when they fuck up.โThe words hung in the air between you.
Heeseungโs smirk faltered instantly. His jaw tightened, and he sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth. For a split second, something raw annoyance, maybe even hurt flashed across his face before he quickly shoved it back into that indifferent mask. His eyes darkened, the playful glint gone.
โWhatever,โ he muttered, voice suddenly flat and cold. โIโll lower the volume.โHe said, โThank you,โ you replied curtly, refusing to let the small victory show on your face even though your heart was hammering.
Heeseung didnโt say anything else. He simply stepped back and shut the door right in your face with a firm click that echoed down the empty hallway.
You stood there for a moment, staring at the closed wooden door, fists clenched at your sides. The music inside dropped almost immediately, not completely off, but low enough that you could finally breathe. Muffled laughter and voices still filtered through, but at least your walls wouldnโt shake anymore.
โAsshole,โ you whispered under your breath, turning on your heel and heading back to your apartment.As you closed your own door behind you, you leaned against it for a second, eyes closed. Why did he always have to make everything so difficult? Why did one look from him always manage to crawl under your skin like this?
You shook your head, forcing the thoughts away. Back to studying. Back to pretending Lee Heeseung didnโt exist. But deep down, you already knew tonightโs silence between you two had just gotten a little louder.
You were halfway through rewriting your notes when your phone buzzed on the desk, the screen lighting up with a new message.
yunjin : you know sunghoon righttt? heโs throwing a massive party after midterms and he personally invited me. pleeease come with me?? i donโt wanna go alone ๐ฅบ
You stared at the text, already feeling the familiar dread settle in your stomach. Another party of course. You typed back quickly
you : No thanks im good have fun tho
The two dots appeared immediately.
yunjin : babe come onnnn
yunjin : itโs after midterms!! you deserve to relax
yunjin : sunghoonโs parties are actually fun i swear
yunjin : thereโll be good music, free drinks, and i heard the basketball team is coming too ๐
You groaned, rubbing your temples. The last thing you wanted was to be anywhere near the basketball team especially not after tonightโs lovely encounter with their captain.
you : exactly why Iโm not going pass
yunjin : please please please i really like sunghoon and this could be my chance
yunjin : iโll owe you big time iโll even help you study for the next round of exams iโll buy you that expensive matcha you like for a month!!
You leaned back in your chair, biting your lip. Yunjin was relentless when she wanted something. And honestly she had been there for you through every late night breakdown this semester. Saying no felt a little cruel the pleading texts kept coming
yunjin : i wonโt leave your side the whole night ( she is lying )
yunjin : we can leave early if you hate it , pretty please with cherries on top?? ๐ฅบ๐
You sighed deeply, already knowing you were about to lose this battle.
you : fine, ONE HOUR thatโs it if it sucks, weโre out.
yunjin : YESSSSS!!! youโre the best i love you so much
yunjin : we can dress up together at my place okay , see you tomorrow <33
You tossed your phone onto the desk and dropped your head into your hands. Great, just what you needed. Another night surrounded by loud music, drunk athletes, and the very real possibility of running into the Lee Heeseung again.
You glanced at the wall that separated your apartment from his. The music was still playing faintly, but at least it was bearable now. Just one party, you could survive one party right?
The next morning, the art history lecture hall was already filling up with the usual mix of sleepy students and last minute crammers when you slipped into your regular seat in the middle row.
The faint scent of fresh coffee and old books lingered in the air. Yunjin dropped dramatically into the chair on your right, her long hair still slightly damp from her morning shower, eyes bright with far too much excitement for a 9 am class.
On your left, Soobin settled in quietly, tall frame folding gracefully into the seat. He placed his neatly organized notebook on the desk and pulled out a perfectly sharpened pencil, offering you a soft, reassuring smile.
Soobin was always like this calm, steady, the kind of friend who showed up without making a fuss. He was the complete opposite of the loud, chaotic energy that seemed to follow Heeseung everywhere.
Yunjin, however, was already completely distracted. She was leaning forward, chin resting on her hand, openly staring toward the front rows where Sunghoon sat chatting with a couple of friends. Her gaze was soft and dreamy, a tiny smile tugging at her lips every time he laughed at something.
You nudged her arm with your elbow, voice low and teasing. โYouโre oogling him again itโs getting embarrassing at this point.โYunjin didnโt even pretend to deny it. โIโm not oogling, im appreciating art,โ she whispered back, still not tearing her eyes away. โLook at him heโs literally perfect.โ
Soobin let out a quiet chuckle beside you, shaking his head as he flipped open his notebook. โSure โappreciatingโ thatโs why half your notes from last week were just little hearts around his name.โ He teased her, to which she replied,
โTraitor,โ Yunjin hissed playfully, finally glancing at both of you as her cheeks flushed pink. โYou two are supposed to be on my side.โThe light banter continued until Soobin turned to you, lowering his voice a little. โHey, I heard there was a party at Heeseungโs last night, did you survive the noise?โ
You let out a long, dramatic groan and slumped back in your seat, the memory of last nightโs confrontation still fresh and irritating. โBarely. That idiot had the music blasting so loud my textbooks were literally vibrating on the desk. I had to march over there in my hoodie and sweatpants like some angry neighbor from a sitcom again.โ
Soobin listened attentively, his expression patient and sympathetic. He never interrupted your rants or told you to just ignore it. He just nodded along, dark eyes focused on you, making you feel genuinely heard.
It was one of the many reasons you treasured his friendship he was thoughtful, kind, and never loud or arrogant for the sake of it. The polar opposite of Heeseung.
โAnd of course he answered the door half dressed with some girl hanging off his arm like a trophy,โ you continued, voice dripping with annoyance. โCalled me โmiss moralsโ like itโs the funniest joke in the world.
Then when I pointed out that not everyone has a rich daddy to bail them out when they party instead of studying, he got all pissy, sucked in this dramatic breath, and slammed the door right in my face. Heโs such an entitled asshole.โ
Soobin hummed softly, a small frown creasing his brow. โThat sounds exhausting, you shouldโve texted me you know, i couldโve come over with snacks and we couldโve studied together instead of dealing with his nonsense alone.โ
You smiled faintly at the offer, warmth cutting through the irritation. โNext time, maybe at least someone in this building has basic human decency.โ
Yunjin finally tore her gaze away from Sunghoon long enough to grin at you. โHeeseungโs just bored and likes getting a rise out of you if you stopped reacting, heโd probably get bored and stop.โ
โEasy for you to say,โ you muttered, crossing your arms. โYou donโt have to live next door to the human equivalent of a walking migraine.โThe professor walked in moments later, cutting off any further complaints.
The next hour passed in a blur of projected slides on Renaissance techniques, quiet note taking, and the occasional whispered comment from Yunjin whenever Sunghoon shifted in his seat.
When class finally ended, the three of you packed up your things and joined the stream of students flowing out into the crowded hallway. The air was filled with chatter about upcoming midterms, weekend plans, and the usual campus gossip.
As you walked side by side, Yunjin suddenly looped her arm through yours, her excitement bubbling over again. โSo, about Sunghoonโs party after midterms youโre definitely coming, right? And Soobin you should come too! Itโll be so much more fun with all three of us there.โ
Soobin blinked, surprised, his eyebrows raising slightly. โWait youโre actually going?โ He looked at you, genuinely shocked. โI thought you hated parties, especially ones thrown by the popular crowd.โ
You shrugged, already regretting your decision a little. โYunjin begged a lot and guilt tripped me with matcha promises. One hour max, if it sucks, Iโm dragging her out.โ
Yunjin squealed happily and squeezed your arm. โSee? Sheโs coming! So you have to come too, Soobinn please?โBefore Soobin could respond, a familiar voice cut through the hallway noise from behind you.
โCanโt imagine miss morals at a party but Iโm looking forward to seeing you there.โ Your stomach dropped, you didnโt even have to turn around to know who it was.
Heeseung was leaning casually against a set of lockers a few feet away, arms crossed over his varsity jacket, that signature cocky smirk playing on his lips. He must have overheard the entire conversation.
His dark eyes locked onto yours with clear amusement, like he lived for these moments of catching you off guard.
You rolled your eyes so hard it almost hurt, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a verbal response. Heat crept up your neck partly from annoyance, partly from the embarrassment of him hearing your plans.
Yunjin stifled a laugh beside you while Soobin just shook his head quietly, a small, amused smile tugging at his mouth.
Heeseungโs low chuckle followed you as the three of you kept walking, but you kept your gaze fixed straight ahead, jaw tight. God, you really, really hated that guy.Midterms week stretched into a brutal two week marathon, and as an art curator major, you felt every single hour of it in your bones.
Your apartment had become a war zone of curated chaos towering stacks of books on museum exhibition design, printed slides from Art Conservation and Curatorial Practices, mood boards pinned to the wall for your upcoming gallery proposal project, and color coded flashcards scattered across every surface.
Late nights blurred into early mornings as you hunched over your laptop, drafting proposals for hypothetical exhibits while trying to memorize the intricate history of 19th century European collections. Sleep was a distant dream. Caffeine was your only reliable companion.
And then there was Heeseung.
He didnโt blast music or bring girls over every single night that would have been almost predictable. No, he was crueler than that. He chose random days, like he knew exactly how to keep you off balance, turning your already exhausting study schedule into a minefield of unwanted interruptions.
The first time hit on the second night of midterms. You were deep into analyzing a case study on museum ethics when the wall behind your desk started to vibrate faintly. At first it was just low music.
Then came the giggles two distinct female voices, breathy and flirtatious. Heeseungโs deep laugh cut through it all, followed by the unmistakable sound of bodies moving against furniture.
โFuck, Heeseung youโre so good at this,โ one of the girls moaned loudly, the words carrying crystal clear through the thin shared wall. The headboard started thumping a slow, steady rhythm against your wall rhythmic, insistent, growing faster.
You could hear the wet slap of skin, her exaggerated gasps turning into full throated cries every time he thrust.You yanked your noise canceling headphones on so hard the band dug into your temples, cranking the volume until classical music drowned most of it out.
But you could still feel it, the steady bang bang bang vibrating through your desk, through your chair, through your skull. Your cheeks burned with secondhand embarrassment and pure rage.
'Of course heโs fucking some random girl while Iโm trying to memorize the difference between Baroque and Rococo curation techniques.' You thought bitterly, stabbing your highlighter across the page. Must be nice to have zero responsibilities except basketball and dick appointments.
It stopped around 2 a.m., but the damage was done. You only managed three hours of sleep before your 8 a.m. lecture.
The next morning, you were running on pure spite and too much coffee when you caught Heeseung in the hallway just as he was stepping out of his apartment. He looked annoyingly fresh โ hair still damp from a shower, varsity jacket slung over one shoulder, that perpetual cocky smirk already in place.
You stopped right in front of him, arms crossed tightly. โKeep it down next time,โ you said flatly, voice low but sharp. โSome of us are actually trying to pass our midterms instead of auditioning for porn.โ
Heeseung raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. โAw, miss morals heard everything? Didnโt know you were such a light sleeper.โ You glared at him, heat rising to your cheeks. โJust tone it down, the headboard banging is ridiculous.โ
He chuckled lowly, the sound sending another spike of irritation through you. โNoted.โ Then he leaned in slightly, voice dropping. โThough from the sounds of it last night, she seemed to enjoy the banging.โ
You rolled your eyes and walked away without another word, his soft laugh following you down the hall.The next disruption came four days later. A random Thursday when you had a massive group project due on modern curatorial strategies.
Youโd just settled in with your laptop open to a half finished exhibition proposal when his door slammed open down the hall. One girl this time, but she was even louder.
The moment they got inside, the sounds started again her high pitched whimpers, Heeseungโs low, cocky murmurs โYeah? You like that? Tell me how much you want itโ followed by the unmistakable wet sounds of them going at it on what sounded like his couch first, then migrating to the bed.
The headboard slammed against the wall so hard your framed print of Van Goghโs Starry Night rattled. Her moans turned into broken sobs of pleasure, each one punctuated by Heeseungโs grunts and the filthy slap of bodies. โHarder fuck, right there, Heeseung donโt stopโโ
You ended up studying in your bed instead, laptop balanced on your knees, pillows stacked around you like a fortress. Headphones on full blast. Still, every thrust made the wall tremble.
Every moan crawled under your skin and made focusing on your notes feel impossible. By the time they finally finished (or at least quieted down) around midnight, your eyes were burning and your proposal was only half done.
You hated how your body reacted sometimes not with attraction, but with pure, simmering resentment that made your stomach twist.That same night, after the noises finally stopped, you grabbed your phone in a fit of exhausted anger and texted him.
you : keep the noise down, some people are trying to study for actual grades, not coast on basketball talent and daddyโs money
His reply came faster than you expected. A picture popped up first. A close up selfie of Heeseung lying in bed, shirtless, messy hair, lazy smirk on his face, with the caption
heeseung : sorry, miss morals hard to stay quiet when they scream my name like that
heeseung : next time iโll try to fuck quieter or maybe you can just join and tell me how to do it right?
You stared at the message, face flaming with a mix of rage and disbelief. You immediately blocked the image from your mind ( and definitely did not linger on the way his abs looked in the dim lighting ) before typing back a single furious reply
you : delete my number, asshole
The worst random night came during the final stretch, just three days before your last exams.
You were pulling an all nighter on your capstone project a full digital mock up of a contemporary art exhibit youโd spent weeks perfecting when the noises started again around 11 p.m. This time it was two girls.
Their laughter spilled into the hallway first, then straight through your wall. Heeseungโs voice was low and teasing, the kind of filthy charm that probably worked on every girl on campus.
Soon the bed was creaking loudly, headboard banging in a frantic rhythm while both girls moaned in tandem one breathy and high, the other deeper and more desperate.
โHeeseung oh god, yes fuck me like thatโโ mixed with wet, obscene sounds that left zero doubt about exactly what was happening next door. The wall vibrated so intensely your coffee mug slid an inch across the desk.
You sat there in your oversized hoodie and sweatpants, staring at your glowing screen, jaw clenched so tight it ached. Every moan, every dirty encouragement from Heeseung, every rhythmic thud felt like a personal attack on the one thing you actually cared about your future.
Your grades, your dream of curating real exhibitions someday. While Iโm over here trying not to fail out of the only thing Iโm good at, you thought, fingers flying angrily across the keyboard, heโs over there living his best life with a rotating cast of girls screaming his name.
You wore the headphones until your ears rang. You even tried white noise apps, earplugs underneath nothing fully blocked it. The sex noises went on for nearly two hours that night, loud and shameless, until they finally quieted around 1:30 a.m.
By the end of the two weeks, you were running on fumes dark circles under your eyes, caffeine shakes in your hands, and a permanent knot of irritation lodged in your chest whenever you passed his door.
The random nights had been spaced out just enough to feel like psychological warfare instead of constant chaos.Heeseung never once toned it down. Never once seemed to care that someone on the other side of the wall was actually trying to build a future that didnโt involve daddyโs money or NBA scouts.
When Friday morning finally arrived and your last exam was over, you dragged yourself back to the apartment building, shoulders heavy with exhaustion. The hallway was quiet for once. Heeseungโs door looked innocently closed.
You unlocked your own door, stepped inside, and immediately collapsed face first onto your bed, still in your clothes midterms were done.But the resentment toward the boy next door had only grown sharper and Sunghoonโs party was tonight. You groaned into your pillow one hour in and out. Just donโt kill Heeseung on sight.
You took the quickest shower of your life, and changed into the first comfortable outfit you could findโa simple black crop top that showed just a sliver of your midriff and your favorite pair of dark jeansโcomfortable, practical, safe.
You texted Yunjin that you were ready to head over to her place to โget ready together,โ secretly hoping she wouldnโt make a big deal out of your clothesโbig mistake. Yunjinโs apartment was only two blocks away, and the second you stepped inside, she took one look at you and gasped like you had personally offended her.
โNo no absolutely not,โ she declared, hands on her hips, eyes scanning you up and down with pure horror. โYou cannot go to Sunghoonโs party looking like that.โ
You glanced down at yourself, confused. โWhatโs wrong with this? Itโs cute itโs comfortable.โโCute? Comfortable?โ Yunjin repeated, already dragging you toward her bedroom like a woman on a mission.
โBabe, weโre going to a party, not the library. You just survived two weeks of hell tonight youโre supposed to look hot, not like youโre about to give a museum tour.โ
Before you could protest, she flung open her closet and started pulling out clothes with frightening speed. She held up a black mini skirt dangerously short, made of soft leather like material and a sheer black button up shirt that was practically see through.
โTry these,โ she ordered, shoving the hanger into your hands. You stared at the outfit like it might bite you. โYunjin, no way, that skirt is barely legal and the shirt is see through iโm not wearing that.โ
โYes way, you are,โ she sang, already pushing you toward the bathroom. โYou agreed to come to the party that means youโre under my styling jurisdiction for tonight go change nowโ
You argued the entire time you were changing. โThis is ridiculous! im going to freeze, people are going to stare i look like Iโm trying way too hardโโ
But Yunjin was relentless. The second you stepped out in the mini skirt and sheer shirt ( with a black bralette underneath so you werenโt completely exposed ), she clapped her hands and squealed.
โOh my god, yes! Look at you!โ She spun you around in front of her full length mirror. The skirt hugged your hips and ended high on your thighs, making your legs look longer.
The sheer shirt draped softly over your shoulders, the black bralette visible underneath in a way that was teasing but not outright scandalous. โYou look insane like, dangerously hot.โ
You tugged at the hem of the skirt, cheeks burning. โI feel naked. Can't I at least wear the jeans over this or something?โโNo,โ she said firmly, already sitting you down in front of her vanity. โWeโre doing makeup now sit still.โ
For the next twenty minutes, Yunjin worked her magic. Winged eyeliner sharp enough to cut glass, soft smoky eyes, a touch of highlighter on your cheekbones, and a bold red lip that made your mouth look fuller. She even styled your hair into loose, effortless waves that framed your face perfectly.
When she finally stepped back, she let out a satisfied sigh.โAnyone would worship the ground you walk on looking like this,โ she said, grinning proudly. โTrust me tonight, youโre not the stressed out art curator girl who yells at her neighbor. Youโre the girl who turns heads even Heeseung wonโt know what to do with himself when he sees you.โ
You rolled your eyes, but a small flutter of nerves mixed with reluctant confidence settled in your stomach as you looked at your reflection. The outfit was way bolder than anything youโd normally wear, but you had to admit it looked good.
โFine,โ you muttered, smoothing down the skirt one last time. โBut if I hate it, weโre leaving early and if Heeseung says one word about โmiss moralsโ in this outfit, Iโm pouring a drink on him.โYunjin laughed and linked her arm with yours. โDeal now letโs go make Sunghoonโs party unforgettable.โ
You and Yunjin barely made it out of her apartment before your phone buzzed with a text from Soobin saying he was already waiting downstairs. The three of you had agreed he would drive so none of you had to worry about getting home later.
The elevator ride down felt too short. Your heart was already beating a little faster than usual partly from the unfamiliar outfit, partly from the knowledge that you were actually going to a party after surviving two brutal weeks of midterms.
The black mini skirt kept riding up slightly with every step, and you kept tugging nervously at the hem while Yunjin wouldnโt stop complimenting how good you looked.
When you stepped out of the building into the cool evening air, Soobinโs car was parked right in front, engine idling. He was leaning casually against the driverโs side, scrolling through his phone, but the moment he looked up and saw the two of you approaching, his eyes widened noticeably.
Especially when they landed on you. Soobin froze for a second, his usual calm expression cracking into pure, genuine shock. His gaze traveled slowly from your loose waves and sharp winged eyeliner, down to the sheer black shirt that subtly revealed the black bralette underneath, then to the dangerously short leather like mini skirt that made your legs look endless.
He blinked once, twice, before quickly clearing his throat and straightening up, ears turning a light shade of pink.โWowโ he said, voice a little higher than his normal soft tone. โYou both look really nice like, really nice.โ
Yunjin grinned triumphantly, looping her arm through yours and squeezing. โSee? Told you! Even Soobin is shook, she looks hot, right?โ
You felt heat creep up your neck and quickly crossed your arms over your chest, suddenly hyper aware of how different you looked from your usual oversized hoodie and jeans self.
โItโs all Yunjinโs doing. She basically held me hostage in her room until I changed. I tried to wear my normal clothes and she acted like I committed a crime.โ
Soobin gave a small, shy laugh, rubbing the back of his neck as he opened the back door for both of you like the gentleman he was. โNo, it really suits you, you look great tonight.โ His compliment was sincere and gentle, making the awkwardness feel a little softer. โReady to go? Sunghoonโs place isnโt too far from here.โ
The car ride was filled with easy, light chatter that helped calm your nerves. Yunjin sat in the front passenger seat, already buzzing with excitement about seeing Sunghoon, while you sat in the back, occasionally tugging at your skirt and staring out the window at the passing streetlights.
Soobin kept the conversation flowing comfortably, light complaints about how brutal midterms had been, predictions about how wild the party might get, and Yunjinโs endless teasing about how
Sunghoon had โpersonally invitedโ her. Every now and then Soobin would glance at you through the rearview mirror, still looking a little flustered whenever your eyes met.
Before you knew it, Soobin was pulling up to a large off campus house that was already pulsing with loud music and flashing colored lights. Cars lined both sides of the street, and groups of people were laughing and chatting on the front lawn, red cups in hand.
The three of you climbed out of the car, and the heavy bass from inside immediately hit you like a wave. The night air smelled like a mix of cheap beer, sweet perfume, and fresh cut grass. Yunjin practically bounced on her heels with excitement as the three of you walked up the pathway toward the front door.
Sunghoon was standing right at the entrance, playing the perfect host in a simple black shirt and jeans. His sharp, handsome features broke into a warm, genuine smile the moment he spotted your group approaching.
โHey! You guys actually made it,โ he greeted cheerfully, voice carrying easily over the noise from inside. His eyes lingered on Yunjin for an extra beat, a soft grin tugging at his lips. โYunjin, glad you came and you brought friends, nice.โ
He gave Soobin a friendly nod and then turned his attention to you, eyebrows raising slightly in pleasant surprise as he took in your bold outfit. โHey! you clean up really well. Welcome to the party, hope you guys have fun tonight.โ
You managed a small, polite smile, still feeling slightly out of your element. โThanks for inviting us.โSunghoon handed each of you a red solo cup filled with something fruity and strong smelling a sweet cocktail that had a sharp kick of alcohol when you took your first cautious sip.
โDrinks are flowing inside help yourselves to whatever you want. Thereโs food in the kitchen, beer pong in the living room, and dancing. Pretty much everywhere enjoy!โ
Yunjin thanked him brightly, her cheeks already a little flushed with excitement, and steered you and Soobin further into the crowded house. The interior was packed wall to wall with people.
Students were laughing loudly, dancing in the middle of the living room, playing intense games of beer pong, and making out in dimly lit corners. The music was loud but not yet overwhelming, colorful lights flashing across the walls and bodies.
For the first few minutes, the three of you stuck close together, weaving through the crowd while sipping your drinks. Soobin stayed protectively near your side, occasionally leaning down to say something quiet and reassuring whenever he noticed you looking a bit overwhelmed by the chaos.
Then you felt it. That familiar, annoying prickle on the back of your neck, like someone was watching you. You turned your head slightly, and there he was.
Heeseung was leaning casually against the wall near the staircase, a red cup dangling from his fingers. He was surrounded by a small group of his closest friendsโBeomgyu laughing at something on his phone, Jake with his usual bright smile, and Jay nursing his own drink while scanning the room.
Heeseung looked effortlessly good tonight in a black button up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, exposing his toned forearms, and dark jeans that sat low on his hips. His hair was styled in that signature messy but perfect way.
The moment his dark eyes found you across the crowded room, his conversation with the guys stopped mid sentence.
His gaze dragged slowly and shamelessly down your body, taking in the short black mini skirt that hugged your hips and thighs, the sheer shirt that teased the black bralette underneath, the way the outfit accentuated your curves before snapping back up to your face.
For once, his usual cocky smirk didnโt appear instantly. Instead, there was a flash of genuine surprise, followed by something darker, more heated, and appreciative.
He pushed off the wall and started walking straight toward your group, completely ignoring whatever Beomgyu was saying behind him.
โWell, well, well,โ Heeseung drawled when he was close enough, his voice cutting smoothly through the music. His eyes were still shamelessly roaming over you. โLook who decided to show up. Miss morals in a mini skirt i almost didnโt recognize you damn.โ
You felt your stomach twist with that familiar mix of irritation and unwanted warmth. Before you could even open your mouth to snap back, Yunjin jumped in defensively, stepping slightly in front of you with a bright but sharp smile.
โExcuse me, Heeseung? She looks amazing, and she doesnโt need your backhanded compliments,โ Yunjin said, tilting her head with fake sweetness.
โUnlike some people who only know how to throw loud parties and bring random girls over during midterms, maybe focus on your own game instead of commenting on her outfit.โ
Heeseung chuckled lowly, clearly amused by Yunjinโs quick defense, but his eyes never left you. Jake, Beomgyu, and Jay were now watching the exchange from a few feet away, Beomgyu smirking like he was enjoying the show and Jake looking mildly entertained.
โRelax, Yunjin,โ Heeseung replied smoothly, taking a sip from his cup. โIโm just saying that she cleaned up dangerous tonight, didnโt think our neighbor owned anything shorter than ankle length. Beomgyu, Jake, Jay back me up here. She looks good, right?โ
Beomgyu grinned and raised his cup in a lazy toast. โYeah, she do be looking fire tonight.โJake nodded with a bright laugh. โFor real, new look suits you.โJay just shook his head with a small smile, staying quiet but clearly entertained.
You rolled your eyes, lifting your red solo cup to your lips to hide the flush creeping up your cheeks. โDonโt start with me tonight, Heeseung iโm only here for one hour, and Iโd rather not spend it dealing with your nonsense.โ
Heeseung tilted his head, that signature cocky smirk fully back in place now as he took another slow step closer. The way he was looking at you made the noisy room feel suddenly ten degrees warmer.
โGonna dance tonight, or are you just here to supervise everyone elseโs fun like usual, miss morals?โ
You didnโt even give Heeseung the satisfaction of a proper reply. Instead, you flipped him off with a sharp middle finger, turned on your heel, and grabbed Yunjinโs arm. โCome on, letโs go.โ
Yunjin laughed loudly, clearly proud of your reaction, and let you drag her deeper into the crowded house while Heeseungโs low chuckle followed behind you. Beomgyu, Jake, and Jay were already teasing him in the background, but you refused to look back.
For the first half hour, the party actually felt manageable. You stuck close to Yunjin and Soobin, sipping from your red solo cup and people watching from a quieter corner of the living room.
The music was loud, the lights flashed in rhythm with the bass, and the alcohol slowly started to loosen the tight knot of stress that midterms had left in your chest. Then Sunghoon appeared again.
He approached your group with that easy, charming smile, eyes mostly locked on Yunjin. โHey want to dance?โYunjinโs face lit up like heโd just offered her the moon. She turned to you quickly, squeezing your hand. โYouโll be okay for a bit, right? Iโll be right back!โ
Before you could even answer, she was gone, disappearing into the sea of bodies on the dance floor with Sunghoonโs hand on her waist, now it was just you and Soobin.
You tried to keep the conversation light, but the longer you stood there, the more the party energy started to pull at you. The drink in your cup was strong and sweet, and after two weeks of pure academic hell, the idea of letting loose felt dangerously tempting.
โFuck it,โ you muttered under your breath. You downed the rest of your drink in one go, the burn sliding warmly down your throat. Then you grabbed another cup from a passing tray and started sipping again. Why not? Midterms were over. You deserved this.
Soobin noticed and raised an eyebrow, but he didnโt judge. He stayed beside you, chatting quietly, making sure you werenโt completely alone. But after a while, you started feeling guilty. He was sweet, always listening, always there and here he was babysitting you instead of enjoying the party.
โGo talk to your friends,โ you told him, giving him a gentle push toward a group of guys waving at him from across the room. โSeriously, Soobin iโll be fine, i donโt want you wasting your night stuck with me. Go have fun iโll text you if I need anything.โ
He hesitated, looking concerned, but you begged him with your best pleading eyes until he finally nodded. โOkay but stay safe, text me if anything feels off.โ
Once Soobin walked away to join his friends, you let yourself drift toward the dance floor. The alcohol was hitting nicely now a warm, fuzzy buzz that made the music feel better and your body lighter.
You moved to the edge of the crowd first, swaying gently, then slowly worked your way deeper into the pulsing bodies.
You didnโt notice him at first. But Heeseung had been watching you the entire time. From the moment Yunjin disappeared with Sunghoon, his eyes had followed you. He watched you down your drinks. He watched you convince Soobin to leave.
And now he watched as you finally stepped fully onto the dance floor, hips moving to the heavy beat, the short black mini skirt riding up just enough to draw attention, the sheer shirt catching the flashing lights.
Heeseung set his cup down and started moving through the crowd toward you, slow and deliberate. When he was close enough, he didnโt just grab you like most guys would. Instead, he leaned in slightly, voice low and surprisingly respectful against the loud music.
โHey can I dance with you?โ
You turned your head, alcohol making you bold. Your eyes met his, and for once, you didnโt immediately snap at him. The buzz in your veins, the way he was looking at you like he couldnโt look awayโฆit made something reckless spark inside you.
You nodded โYeah okay.โ Only then did Heeseung step closer. The moment he did, the space between you disappeared. His body pressed lightly against yours at first, hands hovering respectfully before you started moving together.
The music was sensual, slow and heavy, and your bodies naturally fell into rhythm. It didnโt stay innocent for long. Heeseungโs hands gradually grew bolder one sliding to your waist, the other brushing up your side, fingers grazing the sheer fabric of your shirt.
You moved closer, hips rolling against his, the short skirt brushing against his thighs. His touch grew hotter, palms sliding down to grip your hips, then slowly roaming over the curve of your ass, pulling you flush against him.
The air between you thickened. Your breathing grew heavier. Every brush of his body sent sparks through your skin. Heeseung leaned in, lips brushing the shell of your ear as he spoke, voice low. โfuck, not being able to kiss you right now is actual torture.โ
The words hit you like a shot of pure heat. The alcohol, the weeks of built up tension, the way his hands felt all over your body everything crashed together in one reckless moment.
You didnโt think, you just acted. turning your head as you grabbed the front of his shirt, and crashed your lips against his.
The kiss was messy, desperate, and instantly wild. Heeseung groaned into your mouth the second your lips met, one hand flying up to cup the back of your neck while the other tightened possessively on your waist, pulling you even harder against him.
You kissed like you were angry at each otherโteeth clashing, tongues sliding hot and deep, lips moving with raw hunger.
Heeseung kissed like heโd been waiting for this exact moment. His mouth was demanding, devouring, tilting your head to kiss you deeper. You moaned softly against him, fingers threading into his hair and tugging, which only made him kiss you harder.
The dance floor disappeared around you. The music faded into background noise. There was only the heat of his body, the taste of alcohol on his tongue, and the way his hands roamed greedily over your curves sliding up your back under the sheer shirt, gripping your hips, pressing you so close you could feel exactly how much he wanted you.
The makeout was crazy sloppy, passionate, breathless. You bit his lower lip, and he responded with a low growl, sucking on your tongue before kissing you even harder.
Your bodies moved together to the beat, grinding slowly while your mouths stayed locked in a heated battle.
When you finally pulled back for air, both of you were panting, lips swollen and shiny. Heeseungโs eyes were dark, pupils blown wide as he stared down at you like he wanted to devour you right there on the dance floor.
โShitโ he breathed, forehead resting against yours. โYouโre going to kill me tonight.โThe kiss finally broke, both of you breathing hard, lips swollen and glistening under the flashing party lights.
Heeseungโs forehead rested against yours, his hands still gripping your hips like he was afraid youโd disappear if he let go.
His eyes were dark, pupils blown with want, and the way he looked at you sent another rush of heat straight through your body.
You didnโt think. The alcohol, the weeks of hating him, the way his hands had felt all over you everything made you reckless. You leaned in closer, voice low and breathless against his ear. โWanna go back to your apartment?โ
Heeseung pulled back just enough to look at you, a dangerous smirk tugging at his swollen lips. For a split second, surprise flashed across his face, but it quickly melted into pure hunger.
โFuck yesโ
He didnโt waste another second. His hand slid down to grab yours firmly, fingers lacing tight as he started pulling you through the crowded dance floor. People moved out of the way as Heeseung cut a path toward the front door, his grip on you possessive and urgent.
You barely had time to register anything else Yunjin and Soobin were somewhere in the house, but right now, none of that mattered.The cool night air hit your flushed skin the moment you stepped outside, but it did nothing to calm the fire burning in your veins.
Heeseungโs car was parked a little down the street. He didnโt let go of your hand the entire way, and the second you reached the passenger side, he opened the door for you with surprising speed before rounding the car and sliding into the driverโs seat.
The moment the doors closed, the tension exploded again. Heeseung started the engine, but you were already growing impatient. The short drive back to your apartment building felt too long. Every red light, every stop sign made the ache between your legs worse.
You kept stealing glances at him his jaw tight, hands gripping the steering wheel, the way his shirt was slightly undone from your earlier tugging. At the third red light, you couldnโt hold it in anymore.โFuck this,โ you muttered.
Before Heeseung could react, you unbuckled your seatbelt, climbed over the center console, and straddled his lap in one swift motion. The mini skirt rode up high on your thighs as you settled on top of him, your hands immediately cupping his face as you crashed your lips back onto his.
Heeseung groaned loudly into the kiss, his hands flying to your waist to steady you. The kiss was even wilder than on the dance floor desperate, messy, all tongue and teeth. You rocked your hips against him, grinding down slowly at first, then harder, feeling him harden beneath you through his jeans.
His hands roamed greedily, one sliding up under your sheer shirt to palm your breast over the bralette, the other gripping your ass and pulling you tighter against his growing bulge.
โShit youโre driving me crazy,โ he muttered against your mouth between kisses, voice rough and wrecked.
You moaned softly, grinding down harder, the friction sending sparks through your entire body. The car windows started to fog up as you moved together, lips never leaving each other for long.
Heeseungโs tongue slid against yours, deep and filthy, while his hips bucked up to meet your movements, the steering wheel pressing into your back.
You were completely lost in him hands in his hair, tugging, lips sucking on his bottom lip, hips rolling in desperate circles when the sharp sound of honking suddenly pierced through the haze.
Once, twice, then a chorus of angry car horns blaring behind you reality crashed back in.
You pulled away from the kiss with a gasp, lips shiny and swollen, breathing ragged. The light had turned green, and the cars lined up behind you were laying on their horns, some drivers shouting out their windows.
Heeseung let out a breathless laugh, his hands still gripping your thighs tightly. His eyes were dark, hair messy from your fingers, lips red and kiss bitten.โFuck,โ he rasped, voice hoarse. โWeโre gonna cause an accident if you keep this up.โ
You quickly scrambled back into the passenger seat, heart pounding, cheeks burning with a mix of embarrassment and lingering arousal.
Your skirt was hiked up dangerously high, and you tugged it down with shaky hands while Heeseung adjusted himself in his seat, clearly struggling to focus on the road.
He shot you a heated sideways glance, smirk returning as he pressed the gas pedal.โAlmost home,โ he said, voice low and promising. โTry not to jump me again until weโre inside or donโt. I'm not complaining.โ
The rest of the short drive was torturous. The air in the car was thick with tension, both of you stealing glances, the memory of your grinding still fresh and electric.
When Heeseung finally pulled into the parking spot outside your shared apartment building, he killed the engine and turned to you, eyes blazing.
The second you were both out of the car, he grabbed your hand again and practically dragged you toward the entrance, the promise of what was about to happen hanging heavy between you.
The second the door to Heeseungโs apartment slammed shut behind you, all restraint vanished.He had you pinned against the wood before you could even catch your breath, mouth crashing back onto yours in a filthy, open mouthed kiss.
His hands were everywhere one sliding up under your sheer shirt to palm your breast roughly, the other gripping your ass and yanking your hips flush against the hard line of his cock already straining in his jeans.
โBeen thinking about this since you walked in wearing that tiny fucking skirt,โ he growled against your lips, biting your bottom lip hard enough to make you moan. โLook at you acting like such a good girl all semester and now youโre begging to get fucked in my bed.โ
You didnโt deny it you couldnโt. The alcohol and weeks of pent up hatred had turned into pure, desperate need. You tugged at his shirt buttons, popping a few open in your haste, and Heeseung chuckled darkly before ripping the rest off himself.
The shirt hit the floor. Yours followed a second later, then your bralette, leaving your tits exposed to the cool air of his apartment.
Heeseungโs mouth was on your neck instantly, sucking a mark right below your jaw while his hands squeezed your breasts, thumbs flicking over your nipples until they were hard and aching. โSo fucking pretty when youโre needy like this,โ he muttered, voice low and rough. โBet youโre already soaked for me, huh?โ
You whimpered when he shoved the mini skirt up around your waist and cupped you over your panties. His fingers pressed against the soaked fabric, rubbing slow circles over your clit.
โShit you are dripping already.โ He smirked against your throat. โSuch a dirty little secret youโve been hiding, miss morals.โ
You didnโt have time to snap back. Heeseung dropped to his knees right there in the entryway, hooked your panties to the side, and buried his face between your thighs without warning. His tongue dragged a long, nasty stripe up your pussy, groaning at the taste of you.
โOh my godโโ Your head thunked back against the door as he licked and sucked like a man starved, two fingers sliding inside you easily because you were so wet.
He curled them perfectly, pumping fast while his tongue flicked mercilessly over your clit. The sounds were obscene wet, sloppy, loud and he didnโt care. He ate you like he wanted to ruin you.
You came hard on his tongue within minutes, thighs shaking, fingers yanking at his hair as you cried out his name. Heeseung didnโt stop until you were trembling and pushing at his head, then he stood up, lips shiny with your arousal, and kissed you deep so you could taste yourself.
โBedroom now,โ he ordered.
He didnโt wait for you to walk. He grabbed the back of your thighs and lifted you like you weighed nothing, carrying you down the short hallway while your legs wrapped around his waist.
Your skirt was still bunched around your hips, panties shoved to the side. You could feel his cock pressing against your soaked core with every step.
The second he kicked his bedroom door open, he dropped you onto the bed. You barely had time to bounce before he was stripping the rest of his clothes off. His jeans and boxers hit the floor and his cock sprang freeโthick, hard, and already leaking at the tip.
Your mouth watered at the sight. Heeseung climbed over you, caging you in with his arms. โYou want this?โ he asked, voice dark, one hand stroking his cock slowly as he looked down at you. โTell me you want it.โ
โI want it,โ you breathed, reaching down to wrap your hand around him. โFuck me, Heeseung.โThat was all it took.
He shoved your legs apart wider, lined himself up, and pushed in with one long, brutal thrust. You gasped at the stretch, nails digging into his shoulders as he bottomed out inside you, so deep you swore you could feel him in your stomach.
โFuck, so tight,โ he groaned, forehead dropping to yours. โTaking me so well already.โThen he started moving hard fast and filthy.
The headboard slammed against the wall with every thrust, the same wall that separated your apartments. The irony wasnโt lost on you, but you couldnโt bring yourself to care.
Heeseung fucked you like heโd been imagining this exact moment for months.Deep, punishing strokes that made your tits bounce and your breath hitch.
He grabbed one of your legs and hooked it over his shoulder, folding you in half so he could fuck you even deeper. The new angle made you cry out, the wet slap of skin on skin echoing through the room.
โLook at you,โ he rasped, eyes locked on where his cock was disappearing inside you. โTaking every inch like a good little slut, who wouldโve thought the girl next door gets this fucking nasty?โ
The degradation was light, just enough to make your pussy clench harder around him. You moaned louder, hips trying to meet his thrusts.
Heeseungโs hand slid between your bodies, thumb rubbing tight circles on your clit while he pounded into you.
โCome on, baby. Come on my cock again, wanna feel you squeezing me.โ You shattered for the second time, back arching, walls fluttering around his thick length as your orgasm crashed through you. Heeseung fucked you through it, hips never slowing, chasing his own release.
โFuckโ Iโm close,โ he growled, voice strained. โWhere do you want it?โ He asked, โInside,โ you gasped, still riding the high. โCome inside me.โ
Heeseung cursed loudly, thrusting a few more brutal times before he buried himself to the hilt and came hard. You felt every pulse, every hot spurt filling you up as he groaned your name against your neck, hips jerking through the aftershocks.
For a moment the only sounds were both of you breathing hard, bodies slick with sweat.
Heeseung stayed inside you for a long minute, forehead pressed to yours, before he finally pulled out slowly. A trickle of his cum leaked out of you onto the sheets, and he watched it with dark, satisfied eyes then collapsed beside you.
Instead of pulling away, Heeseung immediately reached for you. He wrapped one strong arm around your waist and tugged you against his chest, your back flush to his front in a tight, warm hug. His other hand gently pulled the duvet up over both of you, cocooning your naked bodies in soft warmth.
You were still sticky with sweat and cum, thighs trembling, but the way he held you possessive yet surprisingly gentle made something soft flutter in your chest despite everything.
Heeseung pressed a lazy kiss to the back of your shoulder, his breath warm against your skin.โStay,โ he murmured, voice already thick with sleep as he tightened his arm around you. โJust stay.โ
Exhausted, fucked out, and strangely comforted by his warmth, you let your eyes drift shut. His steady heartbeat against your back and the heavy duvet wrapped around you lulled you quickly into sleep, safe in Heeseungโs arms for the night.
๊ชเญง โโโ ใใฉใ. next morning !
The first thing you registered was the pounding in your head. Your eyes fluttered open slowly, the dim light filtering through unfamiliar curtains making everything feel hazy. The digital clock on the nightstand glowed red 4:28 a.m.
Your mouth was dry, throat scratchy, and a dull throb pulsed behind your temples the unmistakable aftermath of too many drinks and not nearly enough sleep. You shifted slightly under the heavy duvet, and thatโs when you felt it.
A warm, solid body pressed against your back. An arm draped heavily over your waist, holding you close skin against skin. The faint scent of cologne, sweat, and something distinctly masculine filled your senses.
Your heart slammed against your ribs. Memories from last night crashed over you like ice water.
The party, the red solo cup dancing. Heeseungโs hands all over your body on the dance floor. The reckless invitation. The car ride where youโd climbed into his lap like you had no shame.
The way heโd pinned you against his door, dropped to his knees in the entryway, fucked you hard on his bed until you were crying out his name. The filthy sounds. The way heโd filled you up. The way heโd pulled you against his chest afterward, hugging you tight under the duvet as you both drifted off.
You had fucked Lee Heeseung
You had fucked your loud, cocky, insufferable neighbor the basketball captain youโd spent months complaining about, the one who called you โMiss Moralsโ like it was the funniest joke in the world.
Mortification burned hot through your entire body. Your stomach twisted violently. What the hell had you been thinking? The alcohol had stripped away every ounce of common sense, and now you were lying naked in his bed, his cum still faintly sticky between your thighs, his arm wrapped around you like you belonged there.
Heeseung was still sound asleep behind you, breathing deep and even, his chest rising and falling steadily against your back. His face was relaxed in sleep no smirk, no cocky grin but you knew the second he woke up, everything would change.
He would never let you live this down. The teasing would be relentless. โMiss moralsโ would turn into something far worse. Heโd smirk every time he saw you in the hallway, make dirty little comments about how loud youโd been, how desperate youโd sounded begging for him.
The walls between your apartments were thin heโd probably bring it up every time you complained about his noise again. Your life next door would become a living hell.You couldnโt stay here.
Panic clawed up your throat. You had to leave before he woke up. Before this became real. Before he opened his eyes and looked at you with that knowing, satisfied smirk.
Carefully, so carefully, you lifted his arm from your waist. He stirred slightly but didnโt wake, murmuring something incoherent under his breath. Your heart hammered as you slowly slid out from under the duvet, the cool air hitting your naked skin and raising goosebumps.
You moved like a ghost around his room, gathering your scattered clothes as quietly as possible. Your sheer black shirt, the black bralette, the dangerously short mini skirt, your panties all crumpled on the floor where theyโd been tossed in the heat of the moment.
You dressed as fast as you could, fingers trembling as you buttoned the sheer shirt and tugged the mini skirt down your thighs. Your hair was a mess, makeup probably smudged, but you didnโt care. You just needed to get out.
Barefoot, shoes in hand, you tiptoed toward the bedroom door. Every creak of the floorboards felt deafening. You glanced back once at Heeseung still asleep, one arm now stretched across the empty space where youโd been, dark hair messy against the pillow.
A strange, unwelcome pang twisted in your chest, but you shoved it down hard. This never happened.
You slipped out of his bedroom, quietly closing the door behind you. The living room was dark and silent. You navigated through the unfamiliar space, heart racing, until you reached the front door. The lock clicked softly as you turned it.
The hallway was empty and dimly lit when you stepped outside. The cool air felt like freedom. You didnโt even bother putting your shoes on yet you just hurried the few steps to your own apartment door next door, fumbling with your keys until they finally slid into the lock.
The moment you were inside, you locked the door behind you, leaned against it, and slid down to the floor, breathing hard.
Your body still ached in the best and worst ways. Thighs sore, a faint bruise forming on your hip from his grip, the ghost of his touch lingering everywhere. You could still feel him inside you, still taste the heat of his mouth.
You buried your face in your hands, mortified beyond words. What had you done?You had slept with the one person you couldnโt stand and now you had to live right next door to him, pretending it never happened.
Because if Heeseung ever found out youโd run away like this, the teasing would only get worse much, much worse. You spent the rest of that early morning in a haze of denial.
Your phone vibrated then again. You reached for it with a heavy sigh, squinting at the bright screen.
yunjin ( 3 new messages )
yunjin : babe where did u go?? one second u were dancing and then u disappeared ๐ญ
yunjin : sunghoon said he saw u leave with someone?? pls tell me ur okay
yunjin : im worried call me when u wake up!!
soobin ( 4 new messages )
soobin : hey, you okay? you left pretty suddenly last night without telling both of us yunjinโs freaking out a bit
soobin : let me know if you got home safe
soobin : if you need anything or want to talk, iโm here no pressure
soobin : hope youโre resting well โค๏ธ
You stared at the messages, throat tightening. The kindness in Soobinโs texts and Yunjinโs worried energy made fresh tears prick at your eyes. They had no idea what you had done. No idea you had spent the night in Heeseungโs bed, letting him touch you, kiss you, fuck you like youโd lost all common sense.
You typed back with trembling fingers, keeping it short and vague
you : got home safe, just drank too much and needed to leave early sorry for worrying you guys iโm okay, just tired talk later โค๏ธ
You sent it and immediately turned your phone on silent, burying your face in your hands the memories wouldnโt stop replaying. Heeseungโs hands on your hips, his mouth on your neck. The way he had groaned your name when he came inside you.
How safe and warm his arms had felt when he pulled you under the duvet afterward. You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to push it all away this never happened.
After sliding down your front door and sitting on the cold floor for what felt like hours, you finally dragged yourself to the shower.
You scrubbed your skin until it was raw, trying to wash away every trace of Heeseung his scent, his touch, the sticky evidence of what youโd done between your thighs. The hot water did nothing to erase the soreness or the vivid flashbacks that kept playing on loop in your head.
By the time the sun came up, you had made a decision this never happened. You would bury it so deep that even you would start to believe it. No one needed to know. Not Yunjin, not Soobin, not even yourself on most days.
You would go back to normal go to classes, focus on your art curator projects, complain about the noise next door like always. And most importantly, you would avoid Lee Heeseung at all costs.
๊ชเญง โโโ ใใฉใ. flashback !
Heeseung stepped out of his apartment with a half empty water bottle in hand, planning to grab the last box from his car before the evening practice. The hallway was quiet until it wasnโt.
A girl came rushing around the corner, arms overloaded with a massive cardboard box that completely blocked her line of sight. She collided straight into his chest with a startled gasp.
The box flew out of her hands and crashed to the floor, spilling books, notebooks, and what looked like art supplies everywhere across the hallway carpet. Heeseung instinctively reached out and grabbed her arms to keep her from stumbling backward.
She looked up at him, flushed and clearly annoyed, strands of hair falling across her face from the chaotic move. She was pretty, sharp eyes, determined expression the kind of girl who didnโt seem impressed by campus status.
A smirk tugged at his lips before he could stop it.โEasy there, neighbor,โ he drawled, voice laced with amusement. โYou always run into people like youโre trying to tackle them, or am I just lucky?โ
She blinked, then quickly crouched down to gather her scattered belongings, avoiding his gaze.โSorry,โ she muttered, tone tight and clipped. โDidnโt see you.โ
Heeseung crouched down as well, picking up a thick book on museum curation that had slid toward his foot. He turned it over in his hands, raising an eyebrow.โArt stuff, huh?โ he asked casually. โYou moving in next door?โ
โYeah just today,โ she replied shortly, snatching the book back from him with a little more force than necessary.
He stood up first and leaned against the wall, arms crossing over his chest as he watched her struggle to reorganize everything into the box. Most girls would have smiled, maybe even recognized him as the basketball captain.
This one? She looked like she already wanted nothing to do with him.โIโm Heeseung,โ he said, flashing his most charming grin. โLee Heeseung, your new neighbor. Need help carrying that? Looks heavy.โ He offered,
โIโm good thanks,โ she answered without even looking up, standing quickly and slinging the tote over her shoulder.
Heeseung didnโt move out of the way. Instead, he tilted his head, studying her with open curiosity. There was something refreshing about her indifference that it made him want to push a little harder.
โJust so you know,โ he added, voice dropping into a teasing tone, โThe walls here are pretty thin, try not to be too loud when youโre studying or doing whatever it is, serious art curator girls do at night.โHer eyes finally snapped up to his, narrowing with clear irritation.
โIโll keep that in mind,โ she said flatly. โAnd maybe you can try keeping your parties down some people actually have to study to pass their classes.โ
Heeseung let out a low, genuine laugh that echoed down the empty hallway. She had bite and he liked that.
โWelcome to the building, miss morals,โ he called after her as she turned toward her door, the nickname slipping out naturally. She didnโt respond. She fumbled with her keys, unlocked her apartment, and slipped inside without another word, the door shutting with a firm click.
Heeseung stood there for a moment longer, still grinning to himself. The girl next door already hated him, and he hadnโt even thrown his first party yet. This was going to be interesting.
The gym echoed with the sharp squeak of sneakers and the rhythmic bounce of basketballs. Afternoon practice was in full swing, but during a water break, Heeseung leaned against the bleachers, towel draped over his shoulders, a cocky grin already plastered on his face.
Jay tossed him a bottle of water. โYou look way too happy for someone who just ran suicides.โHeeseung laughed, taking a long sip before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. โCanโt help it ran into the new neighbor again this morning.โ
Beomgyu perked up immediately, spinning the ball on his finger. โThe girl next door? The one who already hates your guts?โ
โmiss morals herself,โ Heeseung confirmed, his smirk widening. โI was just leaving for practice when she came out, i told her the walls are thin and she should try not to be too loud at night. You shouldโve seen her face, she looked like she wanted to throw her coffee at me.โ
Jake, who was stretching nearby, let out a loud laugh. โDude, youโre obsessed! thatโs like the third time this week youโve mentioned her.โ
โIโm not obsessed,โ Heeseung shot back, but his grin betrayed him. โItโs just too easy. She gets so worked up over the smallest things. Last week I had a couple of people over, nothing crazy and she banged on my door at midnight like the apartment was on fire, called me an entitled asshole who only passes because โdaddy pays for everything.โโ
The group burst into laughter. Sunghoon shook his head, amused. โSheโs got balls, most girls on campus would be throwing themselves at you the second they find out youโre the captain.โ
โExactly,โ Heeseung said, tossing the towel aside. โThatโs what makes it fun, she doesnโt give a single fuck who I am. No flirty smiles, no asking for tickets to games, nothing. She just glares at me like I personally ruined her life by existing next door itโs hilarious.โ
Beomgyu grinned mischievously. โSo whatโs your plan? Keep annoying her until she moves out?โ
โNah,โ Heeseung replied, bouncing the ball once. โIโm just getting started, next time the musicโs on, I might turn it up a little louder to see how long it takes before she comes marching over again. Bet sheโll have that cute little angry face on.โ
Jake, who had been quietly listening while stretching his hamstrings, suddenly straightened up with a knowing look.โDonโt you think youโre in love with her or something?โ he asked casually, but loud enough for the whole group to hear.
The gym went quiet for half a second before the guys exploded with laughter and teasing whistles. Heeseung nearly choked on his water. โWhat the fuck, Jake?โ
Jake shrugged, completely unfazed. โThink about it, sheโs literally the only girl who doesnโt give a shit about you no ego stroking, no chasing after the basketball star. She treats you like any other annoying neighbor and instead of leaving her alone, you keep poking at her like a kid with a new toy. That sounds like a crush to me.โ
โBullshit,โ Heeseung scoffed, but his ears turned slightly red. He dribbled the ball harder than necessary, trying to play it cool. โIโm not in love with her, sheโs just entertaining. It's fun watching her get all riled up, thatโs it.โ
Jay raised an eyebrow, smirking. โSure โEntertaining.โ thatโs why you bring her up every single practice.โ
โExactly,โ Jake added with a grin. โIf she suddenly started being nice to you, youโd probably be bored in a week but because she ignores you and calls you out, you canโt stop thinking about her.โ
Heeseung pointed the ball at Jake threateningly, though his smirk was fighting to stay hidden. โKeep talking and Iโll make you run extra laps, Sim.โ
The team laughed again, but Jake just held up his hands in surrender, still smiling. โIโm just saying, man. One day youโre gonna realize youโre not annoying her because itโs funny, youโre doing it because you like the way she fights back.โ
Heeseung rolled his eyes and turned away, dribbling the ball toward the court to end the conversation. But as practice resumed and he sank a clean three pointer, Jakeโs words lingered in the back of his mind longer than he wanted to admit.
Maybe there was a tiny bit of truth to it. Or maybe he just really, really enjoyed getting on your nerves.
The laughter from the team slowly died down as practice resumed. Heeseung shook off Jakeโs teasing comment, channeling the slight irritation into sharper shots. He sank another clean three pointer, the ball swishing through the net with satisfying precision.
For a few minutes, the court felt like the only place where everything made sense no annoying neighbors, no complicated feelings, just the game. Then the gym doors swung open with a loud bang.
Everyone turned as a tall, sharply dressed man in a tailored coat strode in, his presence immediately sucking the casual energy out of the room. Coach paused mid instruction, nodding respectfully.
Heeseungโs stomach dropped the moment he recognized the figure his father. Mr. Lee didnโt smile. He never did when he showed up unannounced like this. His eyes scanned the court with cold calculation, lingering on Heeseung with clear disapproval.
โTake five, boys,โ Coach called out, sensing the shift in atmosphere. Heeseung wiped the sweat from his brow and walked over, jaw already tight. โDad what are you doing here?โMr. Lee stopped a few feet away, arms folded behind his back. His voice was low but carried easily across the quiet gym.
โI came to see if my son is actually putting in the work thatโs supposed to get him into the NBA,โ he said flatly. โFrom what Iโve been hearing, it doesnโt look like it.โHeeseungโs friends lingered nearby, pretending to drink water but clearly listening.
โIโve been at every practice,โ Heeseung replied, keeping his tone even. โCoach said my shooting percentage is up this weekโโ
โDonโt make excuses,โ his father cut him off sharply. โYour brother Heedo was never this distracted at your age, he was laser focused top scorer captainfull ride to the best program in the country. And you? Youโre out here laughing with your little friends during water breaks, probably thinking about parties and girls instead of the game.โ
Heeseungโs grip tightened on the basketball until his knuckles turned white.โIโm not distracted,โ he said through gritted teeth. Mr.Lee stepped closer, voice dropping into that familiar, cutting tone that always found its mark.
โYouโre good for nothing if you canโt even focus on what matters. All that talent wasted because youโd rather play around and act like some campus king. You think the scouts care about your popularity? they donโt, you will never be enough if you keep this up and you will certainly never be better than your brother.โ
The words landed like punches. Heedo โ the golden child. The one who had already made it pro overseas. The one their father never stopped comparing him to.Heeseungโs jaw clenched so hard it ached. He wanted to snap back, to defend himself, but years of this had taught him it was useless. His father never listened.
Mr. Lee straightened his coat, expression unchanging. โFix it or donโt bother coming home for the holidays, i didnโt raise a failure.โWithout waiting for a reply, he turned and walked out of the gym, the heavy doors swinging shut behind him with a final, echoing thud. The silence that followed was uncomfortable.
Heeseung stood there for a moment, staring at the floor, chest tight with anger and something heavier he refused to name. The team slowly went back to practice, but the energy had shifted. Jake shot him a concerned look, but Heeseung ignored it, dribbling the ball harder than necessary as he moved back onto the court.
Inside, the familiar bitterness churned.His fatherโs words echoed louder than any cheering crowd ever could. You will never be enough. You will never be better than your brother. Heeseung sank another shot, but this time it didnโt feel satisfying.
All he could think about was how easy it was to annoy the girl next door because at least when she glared at him and called him an entitled asshole, he felt something other than this hollow, crushing weight.
The heavy gym doors swung shut behind Mr. Lee, leaving an awkward silence in his wake. The team tried to resume practice, but the atmosphere had soured.
Heeseung stood frozen for a few seconds, staring at the spot where his father had been. The familiar sting of those words good for nothing, never enough, never better than your brother settled heavy in his chest like lead.
Jake jogged over, clapping a hand on his shoulder. โHey, man donโt let him get to you, your dadโs always been like that youโre killing it out here.โ
โYeah,โ Beomgyu added, spinning the ball on his finger. โIgnore him, youโre the one whoโs gonna make it to the NBA, not Heedo.โ Jay nodded. โCome on, letโs run some more plays weโll crush the next game.โHeeseung forced a half smile, but it didnโt reach his eyes. โYeah sure.โ
He went through the motions for the rest of practice dribbling, shooting, defending but he was quiet. No cocky jokes no teasing his teammates no loud laughter. Every time someone tried to pull him into conversation or hype him up after a good play, he gave short, one word replies and kept his head down. The usual spark was gone.
Even Coach noticed, shooting him concerned glances but saying nothing.The moment practice officially ended, Heeseung grabbed his bag and left first, ignoring the calls from his friends asking if he wanted to grab food. He needed air. He needed to get away from the echoes of his fatherโs voice.
He walked aimlessly for a while, the cool evening air doing little to clear his head. Eventually, his feet carried him toward the small cafรฉ just off campus the one with decent coffee and quiet corners where he sometimes went to think.He pushed open the door, the bell jingling softly, and scanned the room out of habit and then he saw you.
You were sitting alone at a corner table near the window, surrounded by textbooks, notes, and your laptop. Your hair was tied up messily, a pen between your teeth as you frowned at something on the screen. You looked focused serious and annoyingly cute in that concentrated way of yours.
A small, familiar spark ignited in his chest the one that always appeared whenever he spotted you. Before he could think better of it, Heeseung walked straight over and slid into the seat across from you without asking.You looked up, startled at first, then your expression quickly shifted into pure annoyance.
โWhat the hell are you doing here?โ you asked, voice sharp but low enough not to disturb the other customers. You closed your laptop slightly, glaring at him. โThis is my table, go sit somewhere else.โ
Heeseung leaned back in the chair, crossing his arms, that signature smirk slowly returning despite the heavy weight still sitting in his stomach. Seeing your irritated face felt lighter somehow. Easier than dealing with everything else.
โRelax, miss morals,โ he said, voice teasing. โIโm not here to ruin your precious study time. Just saw you and thought Iโd say hi to my favorite neighbor.โ
You rolled your eyes so hard it was almost impressive. โFavorite? We barely tolerate each other and Iโm trying to work unlike some people who can afford to slack off because โdaddy can pay for everything.โโ
The jab shouldโve stung more, especially after his fatherโs visit, but instead it made Heeseungโs smirk widen. There, it was that fire. That complete lack of care for who he was or what people usually said to him. You didnโt tiptoe around him. You didnโt try to impress him. You just called him out.
It felt strangely nice. Not in a romantic way, just refreshing ( liar liar liar he is totally in love with her ) He leaned forward slightly, resting his elbows on the table. โOuch straight for the throat today. What are you working on thatโs got you so grumpy? Another museum thing? Planning to curate an exhibit called โWhy Heeseung Should Shut Upโ?โ
You gave him a flat look, clearly not amused. โItโs for my capstone project and yes, if it helps keep loud neighbors quiet, I might include a whole section on it.โ
Heeseung chuckled softly, the sound genuine even if it was quiet. For the first time since his dad had shown up, the tight knot in his chest loosened just a fraction. He realized something in that moment. Your company wasnโt bad.
In fact, sitting here watching you get all annoyed and snappy at him felt better than sitting alone with his fatherโs words ringing in his head. It was simple predictable in the best way. You gave him a reaction real, unfiltered and for a few minutes, it made everything else fade into the background.
He loved annoying you. Not because he wanted to hurt you but because when you pushed back, it reminded him he was still here. Still capable of feeling something other than pressure and disappointment.
โFine,โ he said, raising his hands in mock surrender, though he made no move to leave. โIโll behave for now but only if you tell me what that exhibit is actually about.โ You narrowed your eyes suspiciously, clearly debating whether to kick him out or just ignore him. Heeseung waited, smirk still in place, secretly hoping youโd keep arguing with him a little longer.
๊ชเญง โโโ ใใฉใ. heeseungโs pov !
Heeseung woke up to a heavy, unfamiliar silence.
His eyes opened slowly, the soft gray morning light filtering through the curtains. His body felt sore in places that reminded him immediately of last night a dull ache in his shoulders, the faint stickiness between the sheets, the faint scent of sex still hanging in the air.
He turned his head to the side the bed was empty. The spot where you had been lying was cold, the pillow slightly dented but untouched now. No clothes scattered on the floor no shoes by the door nothing.
Heeseung sat up slowly, rubbing his face with both hands. The memories came back in quiet, unflinching flashes the party you in that short black skirt.The heated dancing that turned into something reckless.The desperate makeout in his car while horns blared behind you.
How heโd carried you inside, how urgently you both had moved against each other against the door, then on this bed.The way you had moaned his name.The way he had finished inside you.
And how, afterward, he had pulled you close under the duvet, your back against his chest, both of you falling asleep in silence.
Now you were gone. He glanced at the clock. 7:23 a.m. You must have woken up in a panic sometime in the early hours and slipped out while he was still asleep. The realization settled in his stomach like a stone heavy, uncomfortable, and strangely final.
Heeseung let out a long, tired breath and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He sat there for a moment, elbows on his knees, staring at the floor. This was a mistake, a stupid, drunken mistake.
You had always made it clear how much you couldnโt stand him. The constant complaints about his noise, the glares in the hallway, the way you called him entitled behind his back.
Last night had been nothing more than too much alcohol and bad judgment on both sides. You waking up and running away only confirmed it.He didnโt blame you. If anything, he felt a quiet wave of regret wash over him. He should have known better.
He should have stopped things before they went that far. Now things between you two were already tense, this was going to be even more awkward.
Heeseung stood up and walked to the bathroom. While the shower heated up, he looked at himself in the mirror. There were faint scratch marks on his shoulders and a small bruise near his collarbone. Physical proof that last night had really happened.
He stepped under the hot water, letting it run over his face and shoulders. It never happened, he told himself. That was the only way forward.He would forget about it. Pretend the entire night was a blur he couldnโt quite remember.
No teasing no comments in the hallway no bringing it up ever again. You clearly wanted to erase it, and honestly so did he. The last thing he needed right now was more complications in his life especially with someone who lived right next door.
After the shower, he got dressed in a simple black t-shirt and sweatpants. He made coffee in the kitchen, moving on autopilot. The apartment felt too quiet now.
Heeseung leaned against the counter, sipping the bitter drink, and stared at the wall that separated his place from yours.From now on, things would go back to normal. You would keep avoiding him like you always did.
He would keep his music at a reasonable volume when he remembered. And neither of you would ever speak about what happened last night. It was better this way, cleaner and simpler.
He finished his coffee, rinsed the mug, and set it in the sink. Last night was a mistake and as far as Heeseung was concerned, it was already forgotten.
For the next two weeks, you turned your life into a carefully orchestrated mission of avoidance while your body slowly started betraying you in ways you couldnโt ignore. The mantra remained the same this never happened.
Every morning began the same way. Your alarm went off at 6:15 a.m., pulling you from restless sleep. The moment you sat up, a familiar wave of nausea rolled through your stomach, not violent, but persistent and queasy, making the room feel slightly off balance.
Youโd sit on the edge of the bed for a few minutes, breathing slowly through your nose, waiting for it to pass. Some mornings it did. Others, youโd rush to the bathroom and dry heave over the sink, nothing coming up except bitter bile and a metallic taste that lingered on your tongue.
Once the worst of it subsided, youโd quickly get ready, choosing simple, comfortable clothes that wouldnโt draw attention. Then came the listening part. Youโd press your ear to the front door, heart beating a little too fast, straining to hear any sound from Heeseungโs apartment next door.
If you caught even the faintest click of his lock or the low murmur of his voice on a phone call, youโd wait sometimes ten minutes, sometimes twenty pretending to reorganize your bag or check your notes until the hallway was silent again.
Leaving became a tactical exercise. You slipped out as quietly as possible, taking the side staircase instead of the main hallway whenever you spotted his car in the parking lot. The fatigue hit hardest during these moments.
Your legs felt heavier than usual, and by the time you reached campus, you were already drained, needing to sit down in the library for a few minutes just to catch your breath. Coming home was even more stressful.
You started timing your returns obsessively. If practice usually ended around 6 p.m., youโd stay late at the library or in an empty classroom, working on your capstone exhibition proposal until you were sure Heeseung was either out with friends or already inside. One evening, the dizziness caught you off guard.
You had just turned the corner into your hallway when the world tilted slightly. You had to lean against the wall, breathing shallowly, while a strong wave of nausea made your stomach churn.
The faint scent of someoneโs dinner cooking nearby sent you rushing the last few steps to your door. The moment you got inside, you barely made it to the toilet before vomiting actual, forceful vomiting that left you trembling on the cold tile floor.
You told yourself it was stress. The constant hyper vigilance. The lack of proper sleep. The emotional weight of pretending that night had never occurred. But the symptoms kept creeping in, growing harder to dismiss.
Smells became your enemy. The aroma of coffee from the cafรฉ near campus, which you used to love, now made your stomach revolt. You switched to plain crackers and ginger tea, keeping a secret stash in your bag.
Even the scent of your own shampoo sometimes triggered a gag reflex. Food tasted strange too salty, too sweet, or completely off. You lost interest in meals altogether, surviving on small portions that you could keep down.
The fatigue settled deep in your bones. Youโd come home from classes, collapse on the couch, and wake up hours later feeling like you hadnโt rested at all.
Your breasts felt tender and slightly swollen, brushing against your shirt making you wince. Mood swings hit at random. One minute you were focused on your work, the next you felt inexplicably teary or irritable. All of this made the avoidance even more draining.
One Thursday night, your timing failed you had stayed late at the library, hoping Heeseung would already be inside. When you finally dragged your tired body back to the building, the hallway lights felt blindingly bright.
Just as you reached your door, fumbling with your keys, you heard the unmistakable click of his lock opening.Panic surged through you. Your hands shook so badly that the keys nearly dropped. You managed to slip inside just as his door opened, pressing your back against the wood, heart hammering wildly.
You held your breath, listening to his footsteps pass by. The moment they faded, the nausea hit like a wave. You barely made it to the bathroom before throwing up again, knees weak, tears stinging your eyes from the force of it.
Afterward, you sat on the bathroom floor with your forehead resting on your knees, breathing shakily. This was getting worse.You were exhausted from the constant calculation when to leave, when to return, which route to take, how long to wait in the stairwell. The thin wall between your apartments felt like a constant threat.
Youโd hear him moving around sometimes. The low sound of his music ( mercifully quieter these days ), the murmur of his voice when he was on the phone, the occasional laugh. Every sound made your stomach twist with anxiety and unwelcome memories.
You became hyper aware of everything. You avoided cooking anything with strong smells. You did laundry at 2 a.m. when you were sure he was asleep. You even changed the time you took showers, worried the sound of running water might coincide with him coming home.
Yunjin and Soobin noticed the changes. โYouโve been canceling plans a lot,โ Yunjin said during one quick lunch. โAnd you look really tired, are you sure youโre okay?โ
โIโm fine,โ you lied, forcing a weak smile while fighting the nausea brought on by the smell of her food. โJust stressed about the capstone deadline itโs taking everything out of me.โ
Soobin watched you quietly, concern clear in his eyes, but he didnโt push. Inside your apartment, the symptoms continued to build.
Mornings were brutal. Youโd wake up with tender breasts and that persistent queasy feeling. Some days the vomiting was so bad you had to keep a small bucket discreetly by your bed.
The fatigue made it hard to focus during lectures. You'd find yourself zoning out, head heavy, fighting the urge to lay your head on the desk. Yet you refused to connect the dots .Itโs just stress, you told yourself repeatedly. The avoidance the guilt the lack of sleep.
You pushed through, continuing your careful dance of avoidance. You timed every exit and entry with military precision. You became an expert at predicting Heeseungโs schedule ( she should become a dispatch employee )
You kept your headphones on to drown out any sound from next door. You buried yourself in your art curator work, sketching exhibition layouts late into the night until your eyes burned.Two full weeks passed in this strange limbo.
You were pale, exhausted, and constantly on edge. The nausea came in unpredictable waves. The fatigue made simple tasks feel monumental. And the fear of accidentally seeing Heeseung in the hallway kept you trapped in this self imposed isolation.
Deep down, a small, terrified voice in the back of your mind whispered that something was very wrong. But you silenced it the same way you silenced every memory of that night this never happened.
You would keep avoiding him. You would keep pretending everything was normal.Even as your body screamed louder and louder that nothing was normal anymore.
One ordinary afternoon, everything shifted. You were sitting in the small campus cafรฉ with Yunjin and Soobin, the three of you squeezed around a corner table. Yunjin was dramatically slumped in her chair, one hand pressed to her lower stomach, complaining loudly.
โUgh, my period is literally killing me today,โ she groaned, stirring her iced latte with a pout. โCramps are so bad, I can barely sit straight why does it always hit the worst during the worst season? I swear my uterus hates me.โ
Soobin chuckled softly, offering her a sympathetic smile. โDo you want me to grab you some painkillers from the convenience store?โ You tried to smile and nod along, but the words barely registered.
Her period is killing herโฆ..
The sentence echoed in your head like a siren your own period. You mentally counted the days. It should have come a full week ago. Seven days late. Maybe more.
You had been so caught up in avoiding Heeseung, dealing with the constant nausea, fatigue, and vomiting that you hadnโt even noticed the date slipping by. Your heart started beating faster.
You pulled out your phone under the table and quietly opened your cycle tracking app. The screen glowed with the familiar calendar. A bright red notification stared back at you
period : 7 days late
You stared at the words until they blurred. No no, no, no. You tried to push the thought away immediately. It had to be stress. The irregular sleep, the constant anxiety of avoiding Heeseung, the vomiting all of it could easily throw your cycle off. That was normal right?
But then the symptoms started flashing through your mind like warning lights. The persistent nausea every morning. The vomiting that left you weak on the bathroom floor. The crushing fatigue that made it hard to stay awake in lectures.
The dizziness, sensitivity to smells, tender, swollen breasts. Your stomach dropped, could you be pregnant?
The word felt foreign and terrifying in your head. No. Absolutely not. You wouldnโt get pregnant from one night. One reckless, stupid night. People had unprotected sex all the time and nothing happened.
You were on the pillโฆwait, were you? You had been so stressed with midterms that you couldnโt even remember if you had taken it properly that week. The thought made bile rise in your throat again.
Across the table, Yunjin and Soobin were still talking something about upcoming assignments and a group project. Their voices sounded far away, like you were underwater.You couldnโt focus on a single word they were saying. Your mind was spinning, heart pounding so hard you were sure they could hear it.
Yunjin waved a hand in front of your face. โHello? Earth to you! youโve been spacing out the entire time are you okay?โYou blinked, forcing yourself back to the present. Your mouth felt dry.
โIโyeah, sorry just tired,โ you mumbled. โGuys, I think Iโm gonna head home early today my headโs killing me.โSoobin frowned, concern clear in his eyes. โDo you want me to walk you back?โโNo, itโs fine,โ you said quickly, already standing up and grabbing your bag. โIโll text you later promise.โ
You left the cafรฉ before they could protest, walking fast, then almost jogging once you were out of sight. The nausea was back, stronger now, mixing with pure terror. Your hands were shaking as you headed straight for the small convenience store two blocks away.
Inside the store, you felt like every camera was watching you. You moved quickly through the aisles, heart hammering, until you found the family planning section. There were several pregnancy test kits.
You grabbed the most reliable looking one with trembling fingers, not even reading the brand properly. The cashier gave you a neutral look as you paid, but you couldnโt meet her eyes.
Bag clutched tightly to your chest, you practically ran the entire way back to your apartment building. You took the side stairs again, praying Heeseung wasnโt around. The moment you were inside your own apartment, you locked the door twice and leaned against it, breathing hard.
You pulled the kit out of the bag with shaking hands. The box felt heavy dangerous. You read the instructions carefully, twice. Pee on the stick. Wait three minutes. One line = not pregnant. Two lines = pregnant simple but terrifying.
You went to the bathroom, heart pounding so loudly it echoed in your ears. You followed every step exactly, hands trembling so badly you almost dropped the test. When you were done, you placed the stick on the counter and set a timer on your phone three minutes.
You paced the small bathroom, arms wrapped tightly around yourself. Every second felt like an hour. The nausea was back, but this time it had nothing to do with morning sickness. It was pure fear.
What if it was positive?
What if you were actually pregnant with Heeseungโs baby?
The thought made your knees weak. You slid down the wall until you were sitting on the cold tile floor, staring at the test on the counter like it was a bomb about to go off.The timer was still counting down.
Two minutes left. You hugged your knees to your chest, eyes fixed on the small plastic stick that now, held your entire future in two little lines. You were so scared.
The timer on your phone hit zero with a soft chime that felt deafening in the small bathroom. You stayed frozen on the cold tile floor for several long seconds, knees drawn to your chest, staring at the pregnancy test lying face up on the counter like it was a live grenade.
Slowly, you pushed yourself up on shaky legs and stepped closer. One line was already dark and clear the control line. The second line was faint at first, but unmistakable. A pale pink line slowly darkening right beside the first one.
two lines = positive
You blinked hard, once, twice, as if the result would magically change if you stared long enough.โNoโฆโ you whispered, voice cracking. โNo, that canโt be right.โDenial crashed over you like a wave. You snatched the test off the counter and held it closer to the light, turning it at different angles. Maybe it was a faulty test.
Maybe the line was an evaporation line. Maybe you had read the instructions wrong. You grabbed the box again and reread the instructions three more times, your hands trembling so badly the paper shook.
But no matter how many times you checked, the two lines stared back at you, clear and undeniable. It was positive. You were pregnant. The reality slammed into you all at once.
Your knees buckled. You sank back down to the bathroom floor, the test still clutched tightly in your hand. A sob tore out of your throat before you could stop it. Hot tears spilled down your cheeks as the full weight of what this meant crashed over you.
You were pregnant with Heeseungโs baby. The boy you couldnโt stand. The neighbor you had spent months avoiding. The one person you had sworn to pretend never touched you.
A broken sound escaped you half sob, half laugh of pure disbelief. Your free hand moved instinctively to your stomach, pressing lightly against the still flat surface. There was a life growing inside you right now. A tiny, real consequence of one reckless, drunken night.
The crying came harder. You curled in on yourself, forehead resting on your knees as sobs wracked your body. All the symptoms you had tried to blame on stress the nausea, the vomiting, the fatigue, the dizziness suddenly made perfect, terrifying sense.
You were going to have a baby. And the father was the last person on earth you wanted to be tied to. After several long minutes, the tears slowed, leaving you drained and hollow. You wiped your face with the back of your hand, staring blankly at the two pink lines.
You made a decision right there on the bathroom floor. You were not telling Heeseung anything, not a single word.He didnโt need to know. He would never know. Telling him would only make everything worse the teasing, the drama, the forced proximity, the endless complications with someone you already couldnโt stand.
You could barely handle living next door to him as it was. Bringing a child into that mess was unthinkable. This was your problem. Your body, your choice. You would handle it quietly. You would get rid of it.The thought made fresh tears sting your eyes, but you forced them back. There was no other option.
You were still in school, chasing your dream of becoming an art curator. Your life was barely stable right now. A baby, especially one with Heeseung as the father would ruin everything.
You stayed on the floor for a long time, clutching the test, letting the weight of the decision settle over you.
Eventually, you stood up on unsteady legs. You wrapped the test in toilet paper and hid it deep in the trash can under some tissues. You washed your face with cold water until the redness in your eyes faded a little.
You looked at your reflection pale, exhausted, terrified and whispered to yourself โThis never happened.โ You would schedule an. appointment. You would end this quietly.You would move on with your life and never speak of that night again.
But as you turned off the bathroom light and stepped into your silent apartment, the weight in your chest felt heavier than ever. You were pregnant. And for the first time since that night, the wall between you and Heeseung felt like it was closing in.
The decision sat heavy in your chest like a stone. You werenโt going to tell Heeseung. You were going to end this quietly and move on with your life. The very next morning, you tried to make the appointment.
You sat on your bed with your laptop open, hands shaking as you searched for clinics near campus that offered termination services. Your stomach was already churning with nausea again, but you forced yourself to focus.
You found a few options a womenโs health clinic downtown and a Planned Parenthood branch about twenty minutes away. You clicked on the booking page for the first one. The form asked for your name, date of birth, contact number, and reason for visit.
Your fingers hovered over the keyboard for a long time. You couldnโt do it. Every time you tried to type your real information, panic surged through you. What if someone recognized your name? What if the clinic called or sent confirmation texts while you were near Heeseung?
What if the appointment somehow got back to campus gossip? The thought of walking into a clinic alone, explaining your situation to a stranger, and going through with it made your throat close up.
You closed the laptop without saving anything. You told yourself youโd try again tomorrow when you felt calmer. But tomorrow came and went. Then the next day. And the next. Meanwhile, the symptoms grew worse.
The nausea was no longer just morning sickness it hit you at random times throughout the day. The smell of food in the cafeteria made you gag. Even walking past the coffee shop near campus triggered violent waves that left you rushing to the nearest bathroom.
You started carrying saltine crackers and a small bottle of ginger ale everywhere, but they barely helped anymore.
Vomiting became more frequent. One afternoon during a lecture, you had to excuse yourself midway through and barely made it to the restroom before throwing up.
You returned to class pale and sweaty, mumbling something about food poisoning when Yunjin looked at you worriedly.
Fatigue wrapped around you like a heavy blanket. You fell asleep in the library twice that week, waking up with your cheek stuck to your notebook. Simple tasks like climbing the stairs to your apartment left you breathless and dizzy.
Your breasts were constantly tender, and your mood swung wildly one moment you were numb, the next you felt like crying over nothing. Yunjin and Soobin started noticing. During lunch on Thursday, Yunjin set her chopsticks down and stared at you.
โOkay, something is seriously wrong,โ she said, voice firm but concerned. โYouโve been looking like a ghost for days, you barely eat anything, you keep disappearing to the bathroom, and you look exhausted even when you say you slept are you sick? Is it stress? Talk to us.โ
Soobin nodded, his gentle eyes filled with worry. โYouโve been canceling plans and spacing out a lot. If somethingโs going on, you donโt have to deal with it alone. Weโre here.โYou forced a weak smile, pushing your untouched food around your plate. The smell of it was making you nauseous again.
โIโm okay, really,โ you lied, voice quieter than usual. โJustโฆ really behind on my capstone. The deadline is stressing me out more than I thought. Iโll be fine once I catch up.โ
They didnโt look convinced, but they let it drop for the moment. Still, you could feel their eyes on you for the rest of the meal. Even Heeseung started noticing something was off.
You had managed to avoid direct contact with him for weeks, but it was impossible to hide everything when you lived next door.
One evening, you were coming home later than usual after another failed attempt to book the appointment online. You felt dizzy and nauseous, moving slowly up the hallway with your keys already in hand. As you reached your door, Heeseungโs door opened.
He stepped out, wearing a simple black hoodie, hair slightly messy like heโd just come back from practice. His eyes landed on you immediately.
You froze for half a second, then quickly turned your face away and fumbled with your lock, trying to get inside before he could say anything. But Heeseung didnโt tease you this time.
Instead, he paused in his doorway, brow slightly furrowed as he watched you. You looked pale. Thinner. There were dark circles under your eyes, and the way you moved seemed off fragile.
He opened his mouth, then closed it again. For once, the usual cocky remark didnโt come.โYou good?โ he asked quietly, voice lacking its normal edge.
You didnโt answer. You finally got the door open and slipped inside without looking at him, shutting it quickly behind you
Heeseung stood there for a moment longer, staring at your closed door with a strange, unsettled feeling in his chest. Something wasnโt right with you. He could see it.But after everything after that night you both had silently agreed to forget he didnโt know if he had the right to ask.
Inside your apartment, you leaned against the door, breathing hard. Fresh tears stung your eyes as another wave of nausea hit you. You slid down to the floor, hugging your knees. You still hadnโt been able to book the appointment.
The symptoms were getting worse every day, your friends were worried and now even Heeseung had noticed something was wrong. You pressed your forehead to your knees, whispering to yourself again and again
โThis never happenedโฆ this never happenedโฆโ But the lie was starting to feel impossible to keep. Heeseung had noticed. For the past two weeks, it had become painfully obvious that you were avoiding him like the plague.
At first, he thought it was the usual the cold shoulder after that night you both had silently agreed to forget. But it quickly went beyond that. You timed your movements with military precision.
He would hear your door open and close at odd hours, always when he was either inside or already gone. You took the side stairs. You left earlier than usual in the mornings and came back much later at night.
Even at university, catching a glimpse of you had become nearly impossible. You seemed to disappear into the library or empty classrooms the moment practice ended.It was clear you were doing everything in your power to never cross paths with him.
Heeseung told himself it didnโt bother him. He had decided to forget that night too. No teasing. No bringing it up. Just normal or as normal as things could be when you lived right next door
But something was wrong. You looked terrible lately. He first noticed it in passing the dark circles under your eyes, the way your shoulders seemed to slump with exhaustion. Then it got worse you moved slower.
Your face was paler than usual. You barely left your apartment except for classes, and even then you looked like you were running on empty.
One evening, after a long basketball practice, Heeseung was walking back to the apartment building, gym bag slung over his shoulder. The sun had already set, and the streetlights cast long shadows on the path. Thatโs when he saw you.
You were a few meters ahead, heading toward the entrance. Your steps were unsteady, one hand pressed lightly against the wall for support.
Even from behind, he could tell something was very wrong. Your posture was slumped, your breathing looked shallow, and you looked like you were barely holding yourself upright.
Heeseungโs stomach tightened. He quickened his pace without thinking and caught up to you just as you reached the building door.โHey,โ he said, voice low and serious, no trace of his usual teasing tone. โAre you alright?โ
You turned your head slightly, eyes glassy and tired. The moment you recognized him, your expression hardened.โI donโt have time for your teasing right now, Heeseung,โ you muttered weakly, trying to push past him toward the elevator.
Heeseung felt a flash of annoyance, not because you were dismissing him, but because he was genuinely worried and you clearly didnโt believe it.โIโm not teasing,โ he said, more sharply than he intended. โYou look like youโre about to pass out.โ
You didnโt respond, just kept walking toward the elevator. Heeseung followed, stepping in right after you. The doors closed, trapping the two of you in the small space. The silence was thick and uncomfortable. He could hear your breathing too fast, too shallow.
When the elevator reached your floor, you stepped out first. But the moment your feet hit the hallway, your legs buckled. You swayed dangerously, one hand reaching out blindly for the wall as the world spun around you. Heeseung moved fast.
He dropped his gym bag and caught you before you could hit the floor, one arm wrapping around your waist, the other supporting your back. Your body went limp against him for a few terrifying seconds.
โShitโโ he muttered, heart pounding. โHey, stay with me.โ You were half conscious, mumbling something incoherent about being fine. Heeseung didnโt waste time arguing. He adjusted his grip and lifted you carefully into his arms in bridal style, your head lolling against his shoulder.
Your apartment was right next to his. He fumbled for a moment with your keys ( which had fallen from your hand ) until he managed to unlock the door. He carried you inside, kicking the door shut behind him, and headed straight for your bedroom.
The room was neat but clearly lived in textbooks stacked on the desk, a half finished sketch on the table, a small trash can near the bed. Heeseung gently laid you down on the bed, pulling the blanket over you. Your face was pale, forehead slightly damp with sweat.
He stood there for a moment, unsure what to do. You looked so small and fragile like this. Nothing like the fiery girl who used to bang on his door and call him an entitled asshole.
Heeseung grabbed a glass of water from the kitchen and placed it on your nightstand. Then he pulled up the chair from your desk and sat down beside the bed, watching you carefully.
Your breathing slowly evened out. The tension in your face relaxed as you slipped into a deeper sleep. Heeseung stayed there, elbows on his knees, running a hand through his hair. He didnโt know what was going on with you.
He didnโt know why you looked so sick. He didnโt even know if youโd want him here when you woke up. But right now, leaving you alone didnโt feel like an option. So he stayed quietly waiting.
Until your breathing became steady and deep, and he was sure you were fully asleep. Heeseung stayed. He told himself heโd only wait until you fell into a proper sleep, but the longer he sat there watching your pale face and shallow breathing, the harder it became to leave.
You looked exhausted, truly exhausted in a way that went beyond simple tiredness. Dark circles under your eyes, lips slightly chapped, skin lacking its usual color. Something was clearly wrong, and the protective instinct he didnโt know he had kept him rooted to the chair.
After almost an hour, when your breathing had deepened into steady, even inhales, Heeseung stood up quietly. He couldnโt just sit there doing nothing. He moved silently through your apartment, careful not to make noise.
Your kitchen was small and neat, but the fridge was nearly empty a few bottles of water, some crackers, and not much else. Heeseung frowned. No wonder you looked so drained. He opened the cupboards and found rice, a couple of eggs, and some ginger.
Simple gentle on the stomach. He decided to make congee something light that his mom used to make for him when he was sick.
He worked quietly, chopping what little he could find, boiling water, and stirring the pot on low heat. The smell of ginger and warm rice slowly filled the small apartment. He hoped it would help when you woke up. Maybe it would make you feel a little better.
He kept glancing toward the bedroom every few minutes, making sure you were still resting. Almost two hours later, you started stirring.
Heeseung was just turning off the stove when he heard movement from the bedroom. He poured some congee into a bowl, added a bit of water to make it lighter, and was about to bring it to you when
You bolted upright in bed, eyes wide with sudden panic. The smell of the food hit you like a wave. Your face went even paler, hand flying to your mouth as nausea surged violently. Heeseungโs eyes widened. โHeyโโ
You didnโt wait. You scrambled off the bed on shaky legs and ran straight to the bathroom, barely making it in time.
Heeseung followed right behind you, worry spiking through his chest. He reached the bathroom door just as you dropped to your knees in front of the toilet and started throwing up violently.
โShitโโ He moved quickly, kneeling beside you without hesitation. One hand gently gathered your hair, holding it back from your face. His other hand rubbed slow, soothing circles on your back. โItโs okay Iโve got you, just breathe.โ
You retched again, body trembling with the force of it. Heeseung stayed right there, murmuring quiet reassurances, his hand never stopping its gentle motion on your back.
When the worst of it seemed to pass, he reached over and flushed the toilet, then grabbed a clean towel from the rack and dampened it with cool water.โHere,โ he said softly, handing you the towel. โWipe your face.โ
You took it with trembling hands, still breathing hard. Heeseung stood up briefly to get a glass of water from the sink and brought it back to you.โSmall sips,โ he instructed, crouching down again. โDonโt drink too fast.โ
While you rinsed your mouth and took careful sips, Heeseungโs eyes wandered around the small bathroom, looking for anything that might help. His gaze landed on the trash can beside the sink. Something white and plastic was poking out from under some tissues.
Curious, he reached down and pulled it out, it was a pregnancy test. Two distinct red lines stared back at him clear, unmistakable, and positive. Heeseung froze.
His brain short circuited for a second. The test felt heavy in his hand as the reality sank in. Positive you were pregnant. He slowly turned his head toward you. You were already looking at him.
Your eyes were wide with pure terror, face drained of all color, lips parted in shock. You looked caught completely and utterly caught like the worst secret in the world had just been ripped open. The glass of water trembled in your hand.
Heeseungโs mouth opened, but no words came out at first. His gaze flicked between the test in his hand and your terrified expression.
The pieces clicked together horribly fast the avoidance, the exhaustion, the vomiting, the way you looked like you were barely holding yourself together for the past two weeks.
This wasnโt just stress this was because of that night because of him. Heeseung swallowed hard, his voice coming out quieter than he expected.
โโฆIs this yours?โ The bathroom fell into a heavy, suffocating silence. You were still staring at him, tears already gathering in your eyes again, looking like you wanted the floor to swallow you whole.
Heeseung didnโt know what to say. He only knew that everything had just changed. Heeseung stared at the two red lines on the pregnancy test for what felt like an eternity.
The bathroom was deathly quiet except for your shaky breathing. When he finally looked up at you, your face was pale, eyes wide with pure terror, tears already spilling down your cheeks. He swallowed hard, his throat tight.
โโฆAre you pregnant?โ he asked, voice low and rough. You didnโt speak at first. Your lips trembled as fresh tears rolled down your face. Then you gave a small, barely noticeable nod.
Heeseung felt something twist sharply in his chest. He looked back down at the test, then at you again. His next question came out quieter, almost hesitant.
โIs the baby mine?โ The moment the words left his mouth, your face crumpled completely. You broke into heavy, broken sobs, shoulders shaking as you tried to cover your mouth with one hand.
โIโm sorryโฆโ you choked out between cries. โIโm so sorryโฆ I didnโt want this to happen, i never meant for any of this, it was just one stupid night and Iโ Iโm planning on getting rid of it. I wonโt bother you with any of this, i wonโt get in your way. You donโt have to worry about anything, iโll handle it quietly.โ
Heeseungโs expression shifted the instant you said those words. Hurt flashed across his face raw, unguarded hurt. His brows drew together, jaw tightening as he processed what you were saying.
The idea that you were planning to terminate the pregnancy without even telling him felt like a punch to the gut. His hand holding the test lowered slowly to his side. You kept crying, words tumbling out faster now, desperate and apologetic.
โIโm really sorry. I know you didnโt ask for this. I didnโt ask for this either, iโll take care of everything. You can just forget about itโฆi promise I wonโt drag you into anything.โ
Heeseung stayed silent for a long moment, staring at you as you sat on the bathroom floor, looking small and devastated.
The hurt in his chest mixed with something heavier confusion, disbelief, and a strange ache he couldnโt quite name. Finally, his voice came out low and strained.
req vol 4 . โโโโ ๐๐ ๐นญ ํ์ดํ : you comforting them when they are ... insecure ใโน ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ originals ใ โ 1 4 0 9 2 5
notes and yaps : thank you for 400 follows (^โง^) I'm so sorry for being inactive omg but heyyy durga pujo is hereeee , I FINALLY WENT FOR SHOPPING ARGHHHHHH ... gonna post chatpata baddie pics on my insta soon :-P also DARK MOON getting anime adaption???? 2026 really is gonna be our year <3333
สฤญษ if you liked this don't forget to check out my other works in library
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It was late, the city outside had gone quiet. You found Heeseung hunched over his desk, his laptop glowing faintly in the dark room. He wasnโt practicing, not singing, not working on a new chord progression like he usually would at this hour. Instead, he was scrolling. At first, you thought it was just fan edits, maybe a few memes, but the tension in his shoulders told you otherwise.
โHee,โ you whispered gently, walking over. โWhat are you doing?โ
He jumped slightly, slamming the laptop shut with more force than necessary. โNothing.โ His voice was too quick, too sharp. You frowned, settling into the chair beside him. โThat didnโt look like nothing.โ
He avoided your gaze, rubbing the back of his neck. โItโs justโฆ comments.โ
โComments?โ
The sigh that came out from him was heavy, like the weight of the world had suddenly settled on his chest. โPeople always say the same thing. That Iโm perfect. The all-rounder. The one who can do everything. And I know itโs supposed to be a compliment butโฆโ His voice trailed off. When he looked at you finally, his eyes were raw, almost vulnerable in a way you didnโt see often. โWhat if thatโs the only reason people love me? What if itโs the only reason you love me?โ
Your chest tightened. โHeeseungโฆโ He shook his head, words spilling out now, too fast to stop. โThink about itโif I wasnโt an idol, if I wasnโt good at singing or dancing or performing, if I wasnโt this โperfect Heeseung โ everyone talks aboutโฆ would anyone care? Would you? Or would I just be some guy, not good enough, not special enoughโโ
โStop.โ You reached out, grabbing his hand firmly before he could spiral further. His eyes widened slightly, caught off guard by your sudden firmness. โLee Heeseung,โ you said, squeezing his hand tight, โyouโre not perfect. And thatโs exactly why I love you.โ
He blinked at you, confused. โWhat?โ
You shifted closer, your free hand brushing against his cheek. โPeople might love you for your voice, your talent, your stage presence. But me?โ You looked him straight in the eye, refusing to let him look away. โI love the way you laugh when you think nobodyโs watching. I love how you take forever to pick a meal because you secretly want to try everything on the menu" you paused "...and the people in comments certainly don't know how shy you get when I tease you, even though you act all confident on stage.โ
Heeseungโs lips parted, but no words came out.
โI love you when youโre tired, when you mess up, when youโre just sitting here in your hoodie and not looking anything like โperfect idol Heeseung.โ Because I donโt care about that title. I care about you.โ You pressed your forehead against his, letting him feel your words as much as hear them. โEven if you couldnโt sing another note, even if you couldnโt dance another step, youโd still be the person I want. Do you get that?โ
His breath hitched, his lashes fluttering as he tried to blink away the tears threatening to fall. โโฆYou mean that?โ His voice cracked. You smiled softly, brushing your thumb across his jaw. โEvery word.โ
Something in him broke then, not in a bad way, but in the way walls crumble when theyโve been held up too long. He leaned into you, arms wrapping around your waist so tightly it was almost desperate. You held him back just as fiercely, feeling the way his body finally relaxed against yours. For a long moment, neither of you spoke. He just held on, breathing you in like you were the only thing tethering him to the ground. When he finally pulled back, his eyes were glassy but his smile was small, genuine. โYou really donโt care if Iโm not perfect?โ
You leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth, then his cheek, then his forehead, each press of your lips deliberate. โI donโt want perfect. I want you. And lucky me, I get both.โ That earned you the softest laugh. Heeseung pulled you onto his lap then, hugging you so close you could feel his heartbeat against yours. โThank you,โ he whispered into your hair. And you knew, without question, that he believed you.
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
The pan hissed, garlic browning in the oil as Jay moved with practiced precision, shoulders squared like he was auditioning for a cooking show. You perched on the counter, chin in your hands, watching him. He looked good (he always does duh)
focused, sleeves rolled up, brows furrowed in concentration.
He tasted the sauce, frowned, and immediately cursed under his breath โToo salty.โ His jaw clenched. He yanked the pan off the stove a little too hard. โI shouldโve checked it twice.โ
โBabe, itโs fineโโ
โItโs not fine.โ He cut you off quickly, voice sharp. โItโs ruined. Iโve made this a hundred times, how did I mess up something this simple?โ He pressed his palms against the counter, breathing harshly through his nose. You slid down from your spot and moved closer. โJayโโ But he stepped back, raking a hand through his hair. His voice dropped lower, rough around the edges. โYou see? This is what I mean. I get angry over the dumbest things. I mess up, and then Iโฆ I snap. Who wants to deal with that?โ You froze, realizing this wasnโt about food anymore. He gave a short, bitter laugh and turned away, leaning against the sink. โItโs not just here. I know Iโm too much sometimes. Too loud, too blunt, tooโโ He gestured vaguely, frustration dripping from his movements. โI never shut up in public. I talk about the most random things, like Iโm trying to fill the air, and then I see people looking. I see you looking, and I just thinkโฆโ His voice cracked. โโฆI must be so embarrassing to be with.โ
Your chest tightened. You stepped forward, slowly.
โJay.โ You touched his arm gently, making him glance down at you with eyes that looked too glassy for how sharp he usually carried himself. โYou think I get embarrassed by you?โ He looked away quickly, jaw tight. โโฆDonโt you?โ
โNo.โ The word left you without hesitation. โNever. Not once.โ He shook his head. โYou donโt have to say that just toโโ
โIโm not saying it to make you feel better,โ you cut in firmly. โIโm saying it because itโs the truth.โ He blinked at you, caught off guard by how steady your voice was. You stepped closer until there was no space left between you, reaching up to cup his cheek. โI love when you talk too much. I love when you ramble about random facts or get heated over cooking shows or argue with me about which movie is better. You know why?โ
He swallowed hard. โโฆWhy?โ
โBecause it means youโre letting me see all of you. The real you. The passionate, loud, sometimes fiery, sometimes messy Jay. Not the one who stands still and polished in front of cameras. This one.โ His lips parted slightly, like he wanted to argue, but you didnโt let him. You brushed your thumb along his cheekbone, soft but firm. โAnd in public? I donโt care if youโre louder than everyone else in the room. Do you know what I think every time?โ
He tilted his head, silent.
โThat you make life less boring. That I get to stand next to the man who can light up any room, even if he doesnโt realize it. Thatโs not embarrassing, Jay. Thatโsโฆ something Iโm proud of.โ The tension in his shoulders faltered. He let out a shaky exhale, and suddenly his head dropped forward, resting against your shoulder. His hands found your waist, clutching tighter than usual. โYou really mean that?โ His voice was muffled against your shirt. You smiled, threading your fingers through his hair. โIโve never meant anything more.โ For a moment, all you heard was his breathing, uneven but slowly steadying. Then, softly, almost like a secret: โIโm scared sometimes. That Iโll push too hard, or talk too much, and youโllโฆ get tired.โ
You kissed the side of his head, whispering into his hair,
โThen Iโll just talk back louder, so you canโt feel alone in it.โ
That earned you a small giggle. He pulled back just enough to look at you, eyes glassy but softened. โYouโre ridiculous.โ
โMaybe,โ you teased, brushing your nose against his. โBut Iโm ridiculously in love with you. So youโre stuck.โ This time he kissed you, like he was trying to memorize the way your reassurance felt on his lips. And when he finally pulled away, his forehead rested against yours, his voice low and raw. โThank you. For not making me feel like too much.โ You smiled, whispering back, โYouโre not too much, Jay. Youโre exactly enough.โ
๐๐๐๐๐๐
The rain was steady, tapping against the car roof like a thousand tiny drumbeats. Streetlights blurred through the windshield, golden smears against the gray evening. Jakeโs hands rested on the steering wheel, knuckles pale from how tightly he gripped it. You sat in the passenger seat, sneaking glances at him. He was unusually quiet, no humming, no casual chatter about music or dogs or the latest movie he wanted you to watch.
Just silence, broken only by the rhythmic swish of the wipers.
Finally, you reached over, brushing your fingers lightly against the back of his hand. โYou okay?โ
His lips pressed together before he sighed, voice low. โCan I ask you something?โ
โOf course.โ He kept his eyes on the road, his tone hesitant. โDo you everโฆ wish you were with someone more serious?โ
Your brows furrowed. โWhat do you mean?โ His laugh was short, humorless. โI donโt know. Sometimes I feel like all I am is the goofy one. The lighthearted guy who makes dumb jokes and smiles too much. People see me as a puppy, you know? Itโs like Iโmโโ He stopped, jaw tightening. โItโs like Iโm not the one youโd lean on if things got heavy.โ Your chest ached. โJakeโฆโ
โI mean, look at me.โ He gave a shaky breath, finally glancing your way for half a second. His eyes glistened with the reflection of passing streetlights. โNext to everyone else, I feelโฆ average. Theyโre sharper, cooler, more impressive. And me? I just feel like background noise. Like youโre dating me because Iโm easy, not because Iโmโฆ enough.โ
The car filled with silence again, heavy and suffocating. You reached forward, turning the dial to lower the rain-smeared music until it was barely there, just a soft hum under the storm.
โPull over.โ
He blinked. โWhat?โ
โPull over, Jake.โ
He obeyed without question, guiding the car to the side of the road. The rain blurred the outside world into a watercolor mess, trapping the two of you in a cocoon of sound and dim light.You unbuckled your seatbelt and turned fully to face him. โLook at me.โ Slowly, he did. And the sight of his expressionโtired, raw, so unlike the sunshine you were used to made your heart clench.
โYouโre not background noise,โ you said, your voice trembling with how much you meant it. โYouโre the person who makes every room feel lighter. Who makes me laugh when I didnโt think I could. Who cares so much it shows in every little thing you do. Thatโs not less. Thatโs everything.โ He swallowed, eyes darting away, but you caught his face in your hands, making him meet your gaze again. โAnd donโt you dare think I donโt lean on you,โ you whispered. โI lean on you all the time. Youโre my safe place, Jake. My quiet when Iโm overwhelmed, my joy when Iโm down. You think thatโs easy? Thatโs rare. Thatโs irreplaceable.โ
His eyes softened, shining under the dim glow of the dashboard. โBut what if itโs not enough?โ
โItโs more than enough,โ you said fiercely. Then you leaned in, pressing a soft kisses on his cheek, letting the rainโs rhythm fill the space around your words. โYou donโt have to be serious to be strong. You donโt have to be loud to be important. Youโre enough just by being you. And thatโs who I love.โ
For a moment, he stayed still, breath hitching. Then he closed his eyes, letting out a shaky laugh as his hands came up to cradle yours against his cheeks. โYou always know how toโฆ make me believe it,โ he murmured.
โThatโs because itโs true.โ You kissed the tip of his nose gently. โAnd Iโll remind you as many times as it takes.โ Jake smiled finally soft, fragile, but real. Smile that reached his eyes, even through the storm outside. He leaned forward, kissing you with a tenderness that felt like gratitude, like relief, like love all at once. When he pulled back, he whispered against your lips, โThank you. For choosing me.โ
And you whispered back, โAlways.โThe rain kept falling, but inside that car, he felt a little less small.
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
A soft movie played on the TV, but neither of you were really watching. Sunghoon had his arm draped around you on the couch, your head resting against his chest. The rhythm of his heartbeat, steady and strong, lulled you into that safe space you only found with him. You shifted, nuzzling closer, your cheek brushing against his jaw. The faint rasp of stubble tickled your skin, and instead of pulling away, you let out a soft hum. Without thinking, you rubbed your face against him again, enjoying the warmth, the texture
him.
But Sunghoon stiffened. โYou shouldnโt do that,โ he muttered, pulling back slightly.
You blinked, confused. โDo what?โ
โThat,โ he said quickly, looking away. His hand lifted as if to touch his jaw but faltered halfway. โIt's rough...you donโt have to pretend you like it.โ
You frowned. โSunghoon, I wasnโt pretendingโโ
โItโs fine.โ He gave a small, tight smile, already moving to put a little distance between you. โIโll shave tomorrow.โ You reached for him, but heโd already stood up, muttering something about needing water. The spot beside you felt cold without him, and your heart twisted. You hadnโt been pretending at all,
you loved every unpolished part of him, stubble included. But he hadnโt let you say it.
The next morning, the sound of running water drifted from the bathroom. You padded over, knocking lightly before pushing the door open.
โHoon?โ
He was standing at the sink, razor in hand, his jawline already reddened from where heโd been dragging the blade too harshly. You caught the instant flicker of frustration when the razor slipped, leaving a thin cut near his chin.
โDamn itโโ he hissed under his breath.
You hurried forward. โHoon, stop! Youโre hurting yourself.โ
โIโm fine,โ he muttered, but you grabbed tissues, pressing them gently to the bleeding spot before he could protest again.
โThis is exactly what I meant last night,โ you scolded softly. โWhy are you pushing so hard? Your skinโs already raw.โ
His jaw clenched under your touch, the same way it had on the couch. โBecause it has to be,โ he said quietly.
โHas to be what?โ
โโฆPerfect โ The word slipped out like it had been waiting too long. Your hand stilled. โSunghoonโฆโ
He finally met your eyes, and the mask cracked. โThe stubble is going to ruin your skin and...everyone likes clean shaved Sunghoon anywayโ His voice was tight. He gestured at his reflection, jaw reddened, cut bleeding, stubble still shadowing the skin. "Not this..."
You shook your head, stunned. โIs that what you really think?โ
โI saw the way youโโ He faltered, swallowing. โLast night, you were rubbing against it. I thought it was bothering you. I thought you were pretending not to mind.โ Your chest ached. You tossed the tissue aside, cupping his face with both hands, not caring about the cut. โHoon, I wasnโt pretending. Do you know what I was thinking last night?โ
He blinked, wary. โโฆWhat?โ
โThat I love it. That itโs so you. The stubble, the warmth, the way it feels when I press closer. I wasnโt uncomfortableโI was happy. Because it was you.โ
His lips parted. But nothing came out. โAnd if you want the truth,โ you continued, softer now, โI hate that you keep hurting yourself because you think I want the polished version. I fell in love with the boy who forgets to shave sometimes and still looks beautiful. Thatโs the one I want. Every time.โ
His throat bobbed as he swallowed hard. โโฆBut your skin...โ You leaned up, pressing a kiss carefully against his jaw, right over the rough edge of stubble. Then another, just beside the cut. โUse your big boy money and buy me skincare or even better Iโll kiss you hard. Because the only thing Iโm tired of is watching you hurt yourself to be something you already are.โ For a moment, silence hung heavy between you. Then his shoulders sagged, the tension melting out of him like water slipping from stone. Slowly, hesitantly, his arms wrapped around you, pulling you into his chest.
โโฆI thought I had to be perfect for you,โ he whispered, his voice breaking just a little. โYou donโt,โ you whispered back. โYou just have to be you.โ And this time, when you rubbed your cheek against his jaw, he didnโt pull away. He let you stay, let you love him exactly as he was โraw, imperfect, and entirely Sunghoon.
๐๐๐๐๐
Your bedroom was a flurry of clothes, hairbrushes, and open makeup palettes. The group chat had been buzzing all morning about the cafรฉ reservation, and youโd been running around trying to decide what dress to wear. Sunoo was perched on the edge of your bed, scrolling lazily on his phone, watching you in that way he always did, half amused, half smitten.
When you finally settled on a red dress and did a quick twirl in front of the mirror, his gaze sharpened. The phone dropped onto the sheets. โYou lookโฆ damn babeโ he said, almost under his breath, then louder when you turned to him. โSeriously. You look so beautiful, your bodyโโ he caught himself, lips twitching as if embarrassed, โโitโs perfect.โ You smiled, warmth spreading in your chest. โThank you, baby. But you know what? Soโs yours.โ
The compliment left your lips easily, because you meant it. You loved the way he looked, the way his body carried him, the softness and strength interwoven in ways he couldnโt see. But instead of softening, his expression twisted.
โDonโt do that,โ he said quickly, almost sharply.
You frowned. Confused. โDo what?โ He snorted, but it didnโt sound playful. โYou donโt have to throw fake compliments back at me, you know. Just because I called you pretty doesnโt mean you have toโฆ pretend.โ The words landed like a slap, your smile faltering. โPretend?โ
He mustโve seen the way your shoulders stiffened, because regret flashed instantly across his face. โNo, waitโY/n, I didnโt mean it like thatโโ
But you were already turning back to the mirror, your chest tight. โItโs fine.โ He stood so fast the bed creaked. โNo, itโs not fine. God.โ His hand dragged down his face. He stepped closer, voice cracking. โI justโwhen you say things like that, I donโt know how to believe them.โ
You turned to him then, finally seeing the way his mask had cracked, the sassiness from a moment ago gone. His lips trembled as he spoke. โI hear you say Iโm handsome, or that I look good, and all I can think is โSheโs just saying it so I donโt feel bad.โ Because how could you actually look at me and think that?โ His voice grew smaller with each word. โWhen everyone else just sees someone fragile? When even I look in the mirror and wonder if Iโmโฆ enough?โ
Your throat ached, the sting from his earlier words dissolving into raw heartbreak. He was shaking slightly, his arms wrapped around himself like he was trying to hold everything in.
โSunooโฆโ
โIโm sorry,โ he whispered, his eyes glassy. โI shouldnโt have snapped at you. I justโI donโt know how to believe it when you say Iโmโฆ beautiful. Because I donโt feel it. Not even a little.โ The vulnerability in his voice shattered you. You stepped forward, cupping his face with both hands, forcing him to meet your gaze. His eyes were wet, his mouth trembling like he might break entirely if you looked too long.
โYou donโt get to tell me whatโs real for me,โ you said, your voice steady even though your heart pounded. โAnd whatโs real is this you are beautiful. Every version of you. Even the ones you donโt like. Even the ones you hide under sarcasm and sass.โ He let out a shaky laugh that dissolved into a sob, โYou actually mean it, donโt you?โ You kissed the corner of his lips, then the damp corner of his eye. โEvery word. I wish you could see yourself the way I do.โ
His arms wound around your waist then, desperate and tight, pulling you against him like he needed you to keep him from falling apart. You hugged him back just as fiercely, whispering against his hair. โYou never have to be perfect for me. Just be you, Sunoo. Thatโs all I want.โ For a long moment, the room was silent except for the sound of his uneven breathing, his tears soaking into your dress. And then, softer than a breath
โโฆIโll try.โ
And you knew he meant it.
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
The kitchen smelled faintly of soy sauce and garlic as you leaned over the counter, trying your best to follow Jungwonโs instructions. Heโd insisted on teaching you how to make his favorite dish โproperly,โ he had said, with that strict but playful tone you usually adored.
But somewhere between chopping vegetables and stirring the sauce, the playfulness had disappeared.
โNo, not like that,โ his sharp tone echoed through the kitchen, reaching over to adjust your grip on the spoon. โYouโre letting it clumpโstir evenly.โ You tried again, carefully, only for him to sigh. โToo slow. Itโll burn if you donโt keep up.โ
Your brows knit. โIโm tryingโโ
โThen try harder ,โ he muttered, his eyes darting between the pan and your trembling hands. โIf you canโt evenโโ He stopped short, but the words had already cut. You froze, the spoon heavy in your hand. Heat pricked at your eyes before you could stop it. You bit down hard on your lip, but when you blinked, a tear slid down anyway, catching the kitchen light. Jungwonโs stomach dropped. The sound of sizzling oil faded, replaced by the deafening rush of guilt in his ears.
โY/nโฆโ His voice cracked. He reached for you, but you stepped back, wiping at your face quickly. โIโm sorry,โ you whispered, forcing a laugh that didnโt land. โIโm just really bad at this.โ
โNo.โ Jungwonโs hand caught your wrist before you could turn away. His eyes were wide, horrified. โNo, donโt say that. Itโs not youโitโs me.โ You looked up at him, startled by the raw panic in his expression. His lips trembled as he searched your face, then he pulled you into his arms so suddenly the spoon clattered to the counter. โIโm sorry,โ he whispered again, burying his face in your shoulder. His body shook faintly against yours. โI didnโt mean to snap. I justโI donโt know how to turn it off sometimes.โ
Your hands hovered uncertainly before wrapping around him, holding him close. โTurn what off?โ you asked softly. His breath shuddered. โThe pressure. Theโฆ perfection. If one thing goes wrong, it feels like everything will collapse. Thatโs how it is when... when Iโm me. And I took it out on you. I didnโt even realize until I saw you cry, andโโ His voice broke entirely, a sob muffled against your neck. โI hate myself for it.โ
You tightened your hold on him, your own tears falling now but for a different reason. โJungwonโฆโ
โI donโt want to fail you,โ he whispered, the words spilling out in a rush. โI donโt want to fail anyone. I keep thinkingโif Iโm not perfect, if I mess up even a little, people will be disappointed. That theyโll leave. And it scares me so much that I try to control everything, but instead I just hurt the people I love most.โ Your chest clenched at how small his voice had become. He wasnโt the sharp leader everyone saw on stage. Right now, he was just a boy, trembling in your arms, terrified of not being enough.
โHey.โ You cupped the back of his head, pressing a kiss into his hair. โYou donโt have to be perfect with me. You can burn the food, you can scold me by accident, you can cry in my arms like this. Iโm not leaving.โ He squeezed you tighter, his tears dampening your shirt. โI donโt deserve you.โ
โYou deserve every good thing,โ you said firmly, pulling back just enough to look at him. His eyes were red and glassy, his face streaked. You brushed your thumbs over his cheeks. โDo you hear me? You donโt have to hold everything together all the time. Not for me. Not for anyone.โ
โBut what if I let go and everything falls apart?โ His question was so soft, so broken. โThen Iโll help you pick up the pieces.โ You leaned in, kissing his tear-stained mouth. โYouโre not alone, Jungwon. Not anymore.โ His shoulders sagged, the fight draining out of him. He leaned into your touch, โIโm sorry,โ he whispered again, but it sounded different now, less guilt, more surrender. You smiled through your tears. โApology accepted. But next time you scold me in the kitchen, youโre doing the dishes.โ
A shaky laugh bubbled out of him, surprising both of you. He nodded, clinging to you like heโd never let go.
๐๐-๐๐
His birthday had been a blur of balloons, laughter, and chaos courtesy of the other members. But later that night, when it was just the two of you, you finally handed him your gift. A neatly folded pastel lavender shirt tied with ribbon. The moment he pulled it out of the bag, his brows shot up. โPastel?โ he asked, voice teasing, the corner of his mouth tugging up into that cocky little smirk he always wore when he wanted to look unfazed.
โYeah,โ you said brightly, hands clasped in front of you. โI thought it would look so good on you. Soft colors suit your skin tone.โ He tilted his head, twirling the shirt between his fingers. โHmmโฆ I donโt know. Pastel? People will think Iโm losing my edge.โ
You rolled your eyes. โOh, come on. You canโt only wear black and oversized hoodies forever, Ni-ki. Live a little.โ
He chuckled, but there was something tight about it, something not entirely playful. โWhat if I look likeโฆ I donโt know, a soft toy? Everyone will tease me. Youโll tease me.โ Your smile faltered. โWhy would I tease you? I bought it because I want to see you in it. Because I thought youโd look beautiful.โ
That word, beautiful, hit him right in the chest. He blinked, the smirk wavering, before he quickly masked it with more teasing. He draped the shirt over his shoulder dramatically.
โI think Iโll just hang it on my wall. A nice piece of decoration, you know? Safer that way.โ
You laughed weakly, but it didnโt quite reach your eyes. โRight. So youโre never actually going to wear the gift I spent weeks picking out for you?โ
The hurt slipped out sharper than you intended. You saw the way his expression faltered he had been joking, sure, but he hadnโt expected you to soundโฆ wounded. He set the shirt down and turned to you quickly. โWaitโhey, no. Thatโs not what I meant.โ His voice softened, all the fake teasing gone. โItโs not that I donโt like it. I love it. Really. Itโs justโฆโ He trailed off, chewing his lip. His fingers tapped nervously against his thigh. For once, Ni-ki didnโt look like the towering, unshakable guy. He looked like a boy who was torn between wanting something and being scared of it.
You stayed quiet, waiting, giving him the space. He finally sighed, running a hand through his hair. โI know it sounds stupid, butโฆ Iโve worked so hard to look a certain way. To look cool. Tough. Like no one can mess with me. Itโs the only thing that makes me feelโฆ in control.โ His eyes flickered to the shirt. โAnd if I wear something like this, what if people laugh? What if I donโt look cool anymore? What if you donโtโฆ see me the same way?โ
Your chest tightened. All this time, he had been teasing, but it was just a mask. You stood up and stepped closer, gently tugging at his sleeve until he looked at you. โRiki. Do you seriously think I care about some fake โtough guyโ persona? Youโre already the coolest to me. Not because of your clothes or your height or your vibe, because youโre you.โ
His lips parted, like he wanted to argue, but then you cupped his face. โThe boy who stays up late gaming, who hides snacks under the bed, who secretly practices dances until heโs perfect. Thatโs you. And if you wear pastel or neon or glitter or anything, youโll still be my Riki.โ
He blinked rapidly, swallowing hard. โreally?โ Instead of answering, you grabbed the shirt and pressed it to his chest. โTry it on. For me.โ
He hesitated for a second before sighing and slipping it over his head. When he turned back to you, standing awkwardly in lavender with his hands shoved in his pockets, you lit up like the sun. โOh my god,โ you whispered, reaching out to smooth the fabric. โYou look so good. So handsome. Even better than I imagined.โ A flush crept up his neck. He looked down at you, lips twitching into the smallest, most vulnerable smile. โโฆI trust youโ
โand I love youโ You rose on your tiptoes, pressing a kiss to his jaw, then another to his cheek. โAnd for the record? The tough guy thing is cute, but thisโฆโ you rubbed your nose against his collarbone, making him laugh, โthis is even cuter.โ
Ni-ki finally let out a breath heโd been holding, wrapping his long arms around you and burying his face in your hair. โYouโre gonna ruin me, you know that?โ
โGood,โ you whispered. โNow keep the shirt on. Youโre mine like this.โ He chuckled softly, but his voice shook a little. โFine. But only because itโs you.โ
How would you describe the Sim twins? Jace Sim is your sweet, caring and nerdy best friend while his identical twin Jake is everything his brother isnโtโa hedonistic frat boy you want absolutely nothing to do with. Too bad it seems heโs decided to stop hiding just how much heโs in love with you.
pairing โโ jake sim x afab reader
content tags/warnings โโ angst, a lot of miscommunication and misunderstandings, smut, oral, sixty-nining, use of alcohol, intoxication, impersonation, mistaken impersonation, unprotected sex, angry sex, arguing.
fic word count โโ estimate โฅ 10k
teaser word count โโ 1.2k
release date โโ before may ends for sure! tag list now open
You feel irritation surge through your body all over again and by now you've reached Jace's door. Not even bothering to knock, you shove it open dramatically. "Jace, I swear to God I think it's finally time for me to try celibacy."
Jace is sat up in his bed in gray sweatpants and a compression shirt, glasses sliding down his nose as he looks up from his laptop to blink at you slowly. "Mmm? Why?"
You kick the door shut behind you, "Cause men are the worst and I'm tired of kissing so many frogs just because I want a prince!"
"Tell me more."
He says softly and sets his laptop aside as you dramatically throw yourself onto the end of his bed with a groan loud enough to let him know you're genuinely upset. You stare at the ceiling before you start ranting again. "First of all, he had the personality of a plastic spork and I'm not even joking, the conversation was so bad, like a solid three out of ten."
"This man," you continue, pointing accusingly at absolutely nothing, "had the audacity to insinuate that he would only pay for dinner if I was going home with him!"
Jace's eyebrows immediately pull together. "What? That's so messed up."
"Exactly." You sigh before sitting up abruptly again. "He said it like he thought it was charming and sexy too. Like I was supposed to giggle and throw my panties at him across the table."
You watch as Jace grimaces at your words, "Please tell me you didn't stay after he said that?"
Damn. How do you tell your best friend that not only did you stay you actually went home with this guy and had sex with him? If you could call that sex.ย "I was very horny, okay? I'm literally ovulating and I thought ugh maybe the sex could be good?" Yeah, that works.
"Oh come on, Y/n. You're better than that." He seems so disappointed in you that you have to try to ignore the fact that he even let the conversation get this far.
"And not to add to your disappointment but the sex absolutely sucked. Just added a body to my count and that brings me to a whoppingggg...two." You say and start giggling to yourself
Jace lets out the most disbelieving laugh imaginable. "Oh my God."
"It was so bad, Jace. Like genuinely horrible. I've had more chemistry with self checkout machines." That manages to get a startled laugh out of him. "He kept asking me if I liked that every three seconds."
If you'd just slow down to take a look at your best friend's face, you'd see a smirk you'd never seen before but of course you don't cause you're so mad at the whole situation, more at yourself too. "And then when I tried toโlikeโguide him a little?" You gesture wildly. "He got defensive."
"Hmm, defensive how?" He asks, eyeing you weirdly now. "Defensive like when I tried to guide his fingers to my actual clit heโ"
Your words are cut off by the door swinging open and your irritation immediately flares at the sight of who is standing in the doorway, shifting your gaze back to the twin on the bed, you let out a groan of annoyance. "Seriously, Jake? Can you give us five minutes of peace?" you mutter, rolling your eyes toward the doorway, expecting to see Jace's twin brother hovering there with his usual grating smirk.
But instead the room just goes dead silent and curiosity forces you to actually look at the person standing in the threshold. You rake your eyes over him, ready to snap some insult about him intruding on your conversation but the words die in your throat. Because why is he standing there so confused and wearing his brother's clothes and carrying his textbooks?
Why is the custom silver bag chain you had to hunt down for Jace's birthday hanging from Jake's bag?
Your stomach drops in a sickening free fall sensation. If that's Jace...then who the hell are you sitting next to?
"What are you even talking about?" the twin standing in the door asks, his voice threaded with a weary frustration. He looks between you and the bed, his brow furrowing deeper. "Jake, I told youโI don't know how many times I have to say thisโstay the hell out of my room when I'm not here. Why are you even here?"
You slowly turn your head to look at the person sitting on the bed and he's already watching you, his gaze no longer just amused, it's now sharp, and terrifyingly aware of the fact that you have just realized exactly who he is. He's also completely dropped the persona of his brother he'd been carrying, there's something in the way his eyes can go from earnest and sweet just like his brothers to predatory so quickly.
This isn't the first time, maybe thatโs why you feel the sting that makes your vision blur with heat so quickly. Jake has made a sport of this, a twisted game of shadows where he slips into his brother's life just to see how long it takes for you to figure it out. But your anger isn't just directed at him this time around, it's the way he makes you feel so stupid you canโt stand. You've known Jace for years, heโs your best friend and yet you just laid your entire sexual history bare to a predator in a compression shirt because he mirrored an earnest tilt of the head and a quiet "Tell me more."
Jace lets out a breath that sounds more like a groan, "Jake," he says in a frustrated but practiced tone. "Get off my bed. Now."
Jake doesn't move immediately, still lingering in the dip of the mattress and watching the way your chest pants with outraged breaths. Only when Jace takes a step further into the room does Jake finally rise, moving with an infuriating lack of urgency and stretching in the mirror. You watch as his muscles pull taut against that borrowed shirtโJace's shirt.
"Relax, professor. I'm leaving," Jake says, his voice losing the faux earnest quality he'd used to bait you just a moment ago. Now heโs just Jake, arrogant and loud Jake. "Mom called. She wanted me to tell you that if you don't call her back by six to confirm for Sunday dinner, she's going to stop by your lab and embarrass you in front of your recluse friends."
"That could have been a text, Jake. A five second text. You didn't need to come here."
Jake tilts his head, a lazy, jagged grin cutting across his face. "I know," he smiles wider, the amusement dancing in his tone. "But where's the fun in a text? I prefer the personal touch."
He begins to move toward the door, his shoulder intentionally brushing yours as he attempts to pass. But then he stops and leans in, letting the heat radiate off his skin in a way that makes you want to scramble backward but you're pinned by the stupid audacity of his proximity.
His lips hover inches from the shell of your ear, dropping his voice into a low volume that Jace couldn't possibly catch over the sound of his own frustrated rustling.
"For what it's worth, baby doll," he breathes, "I could definitely get you off. And I promise you wouldn't have to show me where anything was. I'd find it just fine on my own."
Heeseung as a tired boyfriend is upsetting you more than you realise.
Heeseung x gf!reader โ angstish with a lot of comfort because we need it
I got inspired from that one Spotify interview where they played desire or deny and when they were asked about โa stroll under the full moonโ Heeseung answered with deny, saying โgirlsโฆ I gotta go to sleep.โ He was so cheeky and cute ๐
Only his soft snores alongside the noise from the movie you had been watching together filled the room.
You slightly lifted your head from his chest, careful not to startle him. His hand which was previously buried in your hair and massaged your head had slipped off. โBaby?โ You called out for him softly.
His snores continued, chest rising and falling in a rhythmic pattern under your hand. Leaning forward, you placed a soft kiss on his jaw. No response. You tried again by kissing the corner of his jaw, right next to his ear where you knew he was sensitive. He grunted and buried his face in his hoodie, still completely knocked out. You bit your lip to suppress a chuckle, kissing along his neck and jaw. โBaby~โ you kissed his cheek, โwake up, my love. You canโt sleep here, baby.โ Now you were trailing your kisses to his chin and nose, purposefully missing out on his soft, kissable lips.
His eyes fluttered, he looked at you with a dazed vision. โHm?โ Heavy eyes met yours.
"Baby, you can't sleep here, my love." You rubbed your nose against his. He didn't respond right away. His hand buried in your hair again and pulled you closer to him. You gasped softly, the strenght in your arms giving out. You fell right on his body, now completely sprawled over him. His cheek rubbed on your forehead as he pressed your face into the crook of his neck which was covered by his hoodie.
"You woke me up." He complained with a rough voice, softness seeping through when he wrapped his other arm tighter around your waist.
"I'm sorry, bambi." You kissed his hamster like cheek, the nickname you gave him melted his heart everytime. "I wish I could carry you to bed, but you're too heavy for me." Heeseung chuckled under his breath, eyelids fighting against sleep. "That would be weird...", he murmured, exhaustion never vanishing from his voice.
"I don't like to be woken up," he started lazily, "but if it's you waking me up with kisses like this..." he pulled you further into his embrace, "then itโs okey."
You looked up, cheeks flushed due to warmth of candles and the fireplace breathing through your apartment. His heart fluttered at the sight. Softness bloomed through his veins, his eyes, though still heavy with drowsiness, now shimmered with fondness and affection.
You kissed his chin, "I'm glad you're giving your girlfriend this privilige," you giggled. His eyes softened even more. "Always,โ he whispered more to himself than to you.
"Let's go to-" you yelped when Heeseung pulled you back to him as you were about to lift yourself up from his body.
"Hee-" You were cut off by a kiss on your lips. You sighed softly, his hand tilting your head so he could aim your soft lips accurately. Your body melted into his all over again.
โYou forgot to kiss me here.โ He mumbled against your lips, eyes twinkling mischievously.
The warm glow across your cheeks deepened. โYouโre so annoying,โ you whispered back, ears getting hot and lips brushing his. โLetโs get ready for bed, silly.โ
In bed, your head rested on Heeseungโs chest, now clothed in pyjamas and not his hoodie and sweatpants anymore. The comfortable and warm weight of your body on his soothed him steadily to sleep.
And when it suddenly disappeared, he groggily stirred awake. โWhere you goinโ?โ His hand lazily reached out for you though you already had slipped away from his reach.
โIโm just getting a glass of water, baby,โ you whispered, leaning down to press a kiss on the arch of his eyebrow. โGo back to sleep.โ
He responded with a gibberish โhurry upโ before his consciousness slowly slipped away. Even though he looked dead to the world, his subconscious was still alert to every sound from you. The footsteps tapping down the stairs, the light switch clicking, the cabinet door closing.
But then there was absolute silence.
A frown appeared on Heeseungโs face. He was still way too gone to actually wake up, but his instincts couldnโt ignore your ongoing absence. Unconsciously, he purred into his pillow in distress, his face burying in it as his arm stretched towards your side of the bed.
Suddenly, hurried footsteps echoed through the house. You ripped the door open, but your boyfriend was now fast asleep.
โOh my god! Heeseung! Wake up! You gotta see this!โ You began as you crawled on the bed towards him. You shook him gently by his shoulders.
He grunted, face burying even further into his pillow.
โBaby, baby! Wake up!โ
โHm.โ
โBaby, please~โ You tried to lift him up, of course it was an unnecessary attempt โ he didnโt budge one bit.
โHeeseung! Youโre not gonna believe it! Itโs snowing outside!โ
โHm?โ
โItโs snowing!โ
โM-hm.โ He grunted in fake acknowledgment.
โBaby, please, you need to see it! It looks so beautiful!โ You laid on top of him as you nestled your head next to his. โPlease, please, please.โ
โMhmmmโฆโ he grunted again, almost inaudible this time.
โPlease~!โ Your hands cupped his face. โBaby, please, wake up.โ You pouted. Genuine hurt cracked through your voice. How could you enjoy the first snowfall of the year without your boyfriend? โYou have to watch it with meโฆโ
A quiet, frustrated whimper elicited from your throat. Defeated, you rested your head on his chest.
He was way too exhausted. He worked so much and so hard. There was no chance he would wake up after the back to back concerts he just had. For some reason, it brought tears to your eyes.
โStupid boyfriendโฆโ you pouted quietly, childishly, as you rubbed your face into his chest like a cat.
And somehow, his eyes fluttered open. โHm?โ
You were too lost in your tears, wetting his pyjama shirt and softly sniffling that you didnโt notice him stirring awake.
His hand flew up to your head in worry. โWhatโs wrong? Why are you crying, pretty?โ His voice was deep and rough.
You gasped, head shooting up, โyou woke up! Oh my god, Heeseung! You wonโt believe this! Itโs snowing outside!โ
He blinked for a moment. Then a low chuckle escaped him, clearly taken by surprise, โyeah? Thatโs why youโre crying?โ He gently pushed your hair behind your ear. His thumb swiped at the corner of your eye. You shook your head, but the stubborn tears managed to fill your eyes yet again.
โThen why is my big girl crying? Hm?โ
โI- I donโt know.โ You felt so silly. Heโd definitely laugh at you if you told him.
He didnโt say anything at first. Just continued to stroke your cheekbone as he gazed at you with the softest eyes.
โYou thought I died or something?โ
You gasped a wet laugh. โWhat? No!โ You slapped his chest.
A lazy smile spread across his face. Suddenly, he sat up and leaned against the headboard. He pulled you on his lap and cradled your head against his chest. His naked chest was peeking out of his unbuttoned shirt as he wrapped his arms around you trying to shield you from the cold world. Or anything that was making you cry. He pressed a kiss on your forehead and started rocking you slowly as if you were his baby.
โYou said itโs snowing?โ He asked after a while. He always talked to you very softly and cautiously, but whenever you were crying and vulnerable he became even more gentle. As if he was afraid you would break if he wasnโt careful enough.
You nodded frequently against his chest, doe and shimmery eyes glancing at him.
โYeah?โ He chuckled under his breath. He couldnโt help but find you so cute, so adorable at this moment. His heart squeezed in adoration. His hand cupped your soft cheek, stroking it gently.
For a while, he just gazed at you softly, taking his time to caress you and soak you in. He pressed a kiss on your forehead. Your eyes fluttered at his soft lips loving you, his kiss lingering on your skin even after he separated.
โYou wanna watch the snowfall?โ His voice was tender, as if he knew what and what not to say when youโre all vulnerable in his arms.
โOh, yes!! Please, please, please!!โ You nodded eagerly and quickly stood up. You took his hand to drag him towards the door and basically pulled him out of the sheets.
You were determined to share the most beautiful sight with the love of your life.
โWait-โ he halted, tugging you back, his hair messy in the cutest and sleepiest way, โwait. Where are you going? Baby-โ he was so amused by your antics, โwe have a window here, pretty.โ
โOh- No! We have to go downstairs, the view from the living room is a lot better!โ You pulled him with you without any hesitation. His big and firmer hand wrapped around your smaller, soft one. His heart swelled up. He didnโt dare to protest, you were just the cutest being so he let you lead him to wherever your heart desired.
You gasped dramatically once you stood in front of the window. โLook at the view, Seungie!โ You let go of his warm hand and pushed the curtains away to show him more of the view.
โIsnโt it so beautiful??โ You awed with bright, sparkling eyes, hands on the cool glass as you watched the snowflakes dancing in the air.
Heeseung leaned against the big window, arms crossed as he hummed. His sleepy, sluggish demeanour was a huge contrast to your excited, giddy one. He sighed heavily, his head resting on the glass as the coolness seeped into his skin.
You whipped your head at him, โitโs so beautiful, isnโt it??โ You tried again after he didnโt give an answer. He nodded lazily, barely managing to keep his eyes open. His eyes shifted to you, lingering on your bare arms and the way your body was trembling almost unnoticeably. But never unnoticed by him.
A disappointed, accusatory frown appeared on your face, โyouโre not even looking, baby.โ
A yawn escaped from his mouth as he lazily stretched his arms. He then pulled you into his embrace. His head rested comfortably on your shoulder as his arms wrapped around around your waist. Your hands automatically rested on his firm forearms. He pressed a soft kiss on your shoulder before rubbing his face against it, his movements were sluggish and lazy.
โ โm lookinโ he mumbled against the crook of your neck. He looked up and kissed your cheek, arms tightening around you. One hand rubbed your chilled, naked arm, โ โs prettyโ. He lingered a kiss on your neck. โSo pretty,โ he repeated before he rested his chin on your shoulder, his face half buried in your hair and neck.
You giggled excitedly, โI know!! The snow is soooo pretty.โ
Heeseung chuckled under his breath and pressed himself further against your back, wrapping you even tighter in his arms.
โReally pretty,โ he hummed.
He definitely wasnโt talking about the view. Matter of fact, when he had you in his arms like this, he couldnโt care less about some snow.
You let out an existed gasp, an idea striking you. You turned in his embrace. โBabe! Letโs go outside! The snow is still untouched, oh my god- this will be so fun!โ
His eyebrows raised in surprised, โhuh?โ
โPlease, please, please! A snowfall during the night is the best thing to experience!! You gotta trust me on this one!โ Suddenly, you unwrapped yourself from his arms. You already made up your mind that you were going out with your boyfriend. At midnight. In the cold.
โWait-โ his hand caught you before you were out of reach. โBaby-โ he chuckled softly, tired eyes flickering with amusement. โWe canโt go outside- itโs midnight, baby.โ His other hand wrapped around your waist.
โBut thatโs the point! You have to experience the first snowfall of the year outside. And during night itโs even more beautiful!โ
โBaby-โ he pulled you closer to his chest, his hand cupping your cheek. His thumb glided over your cheek as he shook his head subtly, โitโs very late-โ
โBut thatโs the fun part-! Look itโs even full moon-!โ
He shook his head yet again, โbabygirlโฆ I gotta go to sleepโฆโ
Your shoulders sagged visibly, โoh-โ
His tired eyes continued to look at you with the fondest expression. โWe gotta sleep, hm? Itโs late. I have work tomorrow.โ He kissed your forehead, โwe can do this another time. Letโs go to bed for now.โ
Your heart tightened at that. Another time.
Thatโs what he always told you.
Always โanother timeโ.
Always โI have no timeโ.
Always โIโm too tiredโ.
Your throat tightened painfully. You always have work. The words lingered on your tongue. But you held yourself back.
He is tired. Donโt be selfish. You reminded yourself.
You blinked your eyes repeatedly before he could notice. You merely nodded, feeling already hopeless and defeated.
When you were settled back in your bed, you somehow managed to lie furthest away from him. Usually, you would always have some kind of closeness when falling asleep โ hands intertwined, bodies spooning, legs tangled together, his hand on your waist, or your feet nestled between his legs โ whatever it was, your bodies were always touching.
At first, he didnโt think much of it โ sleep already fogging his mind as soon as his head hit the pillow.
โLove you, pretty. Gโnight.โ He murmured sleepily. Your back was facing him, and you couldnโt bring yourself to answer him because of the painful lump forming in your throat. You couldnโt shift closer to your boyfriend. Not because you were mad at him, of course not โ he never gave you a reason to be angry at him. But you couldnโt help but feel hurt. The pain in your heart was just hurting too much. And you knew that as soon as you get in his warm embrace you would start crying.
Suddenly, his strong arm wrapped around your waist and swiftly pulled you across the bed to his chest. He buried his face in your hair, โI said I Iove you, baby.โ He repeated in a low tone.
Your lips began to tremble. A single teardrop slid down your temple. He pressed a gentle kiss on your shoulder, โwhyโre you not answerinโ? My princess โs already sleepinโ?โ His hand splayed across your stomach, your back resting warmly against his chest. โHm?โ You shook your head.
โWhatโs the matter, baby? Are you mad at me?โ Your heart ached at his soft tone. It hurt you even more to hear that he thought you were mad at him.
You shook your head again, mumbling a wet, โโcourse not.โ
โThen tell me whatโs wrong. Whyโs my pretty princess not answering me?โ
And thatโs all that it took. You turned around in his embrace and just started sobbing. His warmth and gentle way with you were enough for you to break.
His doe eyes widened, โwhy, why, why??โ His arms tightened immediately in a protective manner as you buried your face in his chest, your shoulders shaking.
โWhat- baby, baby. Whatโs wrong?? Why are you crying??โ That made you cry even more. Causing his heart to ache even more. โWhatโs wrong??โ
โI- I hate your j-job.โ You choked on your tears, he couldnโt even understand it.
โWhat?โ The crease between his eyebrows intensified.
โI hate your job!โ You repeated louder, though it was muffled by his chest.
โWhat-?โ He laughed softly, his hand came up to caress your head as the other spread out on your back protectively. โYou hate my job? Why?โ
โCause- cause-โ you hesitated, โyouโre constantly tired and sleepy!โ
His heart melted in real time. โAwww~ babyโฆโ he laid his cheek on your head. โIs this why you were crying earlier too?โ
You nodded against his chest, pouting. โI saw the snow and came to tell you because I wanted to watch the snowfall with you, but- but you werenโt waking up no matter how much I tried. And it- it makes me so sad to see you so exhausted, and- and work so hard that- that youโre too tired to do stuff like that with me. We-we already spent so little time together and whenever weโre together youโre just too tired and just sleeping. I- I hate that job of y-yours. I- I hate seeing you so- so tired and exhausted.โ You hiccuped, your tears stained his shirt as you clutched onto it tightly.
He caressed your hair, trying to calm you down. He cooed, โIโm sorry, baby.โ He kissed your forehead. You snuggled further into him in response. โIโm sorry for not waking up. I didnโt know you loved the snow this much.โ You shook your head at that, โno, Heeseung. Itโs not about the snow- itโs- itโs about-โ you couldnโt explain any further, not finding the words as you sobbed loudly.
His arms tightened around, wanting to ground your trembling body. โBabyโฆโ he murmured worriedly.
โShhโฆโ he hushed in your ear, โitโs okey, itโs okey. Let it out, hm?โ He patted your back soothingly. His heart ached so painfully seeing you so upset. He had never seen you this distraught, he knew that there must another reason โ you were hiding something else from him.
โBabyโฆโ he kissed your temple, mumbling against it, โitโs okey, Iโm here. Hm? Iโm here.โ He didnโt understand why but somehow that made you cry even harder, your tears didnโt seem to have an end. He couldnโt bear to listen to it any longer, his heart was tearing at every sob.
He cupped your cheek to tilt your face to him. โHey, hey, hey, baby. Whatโs wrong? Why are you crying so muchโฆ? Youโre breaking my heart, babygirl.โ He kissed your swollen eyelids, one by one. Then your reddish nose, followed by a kiss on your forehead. โDonโt cryโฆ please.โ You sniffled softly, slowly calming down due to his gentle kisses and soft tone. He always spoke so gently with you.
โWhatโs wrong, princess? Did something else happen?โ He tried, his hand caressing your cheek as the other held you close to him. You hiccuped under your breath, trying to calm down. You shook your head in denial, but he saw right through you. He tilted his head softly, doe eyes waiting patiently for you. Your lower lip jutted out as the corners of your lips went down.
โCome on, princess. Tell me. You need to tell me whatโs making you upset.โ He pecked the corner of your sad lips.
You hesitated for a moment. โA few days agoโฆโ you started, he nodded immediately, his bambi eyes encouraging you, โI mean- a few nights ago, I had a dream-โ your eyes filled with tears, โI dreamed that you- that you left- left me.โ A sob left your mouth, the tears blurred your vision again. His eyebrows furrowed instantly.
โI dreamed that you left- left me. Out of nowhere. It was so sudden and unexpected. In my dream, I woke up to text messages from you where you said that you had other dreams and that being with me was getting in your way of achieving them.โ You hiccuped, the pain resurfaced saying it out loud like that. Your voice became timid: โYou told me that our relationship was holding you back from chasing your dreams.โ
โOh princessโฆโ he buried your wet face in his neck. But you continued: โAnd then you told me that youโre too tired to balance a career and a relationship and that- that you love your careerโฆ more than me-โ you sobbed louder towards the end.
He patted your trembling body, โheyโฆ it was just a dream. Hm? Just a dream, my princess. Iโm here. Iโm not going anywhere.โ His eyes became glassy, he couldnโt bear the imagination of leaving you. Hearing you talk about it ripped his heart apart into million pieces.
He kissed the top of your head as you wetted his neck, sobbing and sobbing. โIโm not leaving you, princess. Never.โ His hand smoothed over your trembling back, the other never leaving the back of your head, โit was just a dream...โ
โBut- but it felt so real.โ You sobbed.
โI know. I know.โ He murmured against your temple, lips lingering there to soothe you. โBut Iโm here. Youโre in my arms. Iโm never leaving you.โ He pulled away a little to look at your tear streaked face. โI hate seeing you cry like this.โ He spoke as he wiped the tears away. โThat Heeseung in your dream? He is stupid, okey? He is not me,โ he kissed your forehead, โnever will be me. He is just a foolish idiot who doesnโt know how precious you are.โ He kissed your flushed cheeks.
โYou mean it?โ Your small voice trembled. Doubt evident.
โOf course.โ He answered firmly. โYouโre my beautiful princess, alright? The most precious possession I own. I could never be so stupid and leave you behind, do you understand?โ You nodded against his neck. โI love you so much, my angel.โ He caressed your hair, โI will never leave you. I promise. You have no idea how much I depend on you. I canโt imagine a life without you. Never.โ
His throat tightened, โI know it gets exhausting to date me. I know itโs not easy. I donโt have an ordinary life. But if I tell you youโre all I have, then Iโm begging you to believe me. I promise it will get better. Our relationship will not stay like this forever. There are better days ahead. Days where I wonโt be as busy anymore. And Iโm truly, truly grateful that I have such a patient and understanding partner. I truly am.โ
He grasped your hand and kissed your knuckles one after another. He then rested your intertwined hands on his chest, right above his heart.
โAnd I want you to know one thing: There are many things I want to achieve in life. Many dreams that have yet to be fulfilled. But there is not a single dream of mine that doesnโt have you in it. Thereโs no future for me without you. A future without you simply doesnโt exist.โ
The lump in your throat appeared once again. Your eyes met his though your vision was blurry, yet again.
โPromise?โ Your voice was rough from crying so much.
โI promise, angel.โ He hook your pinky with his own and pressed a kiss on it. โPinky promise,โ he whispered.
You nodded, blinking your teary eyes as you settled on his chest again, seeking comfort.
โI love you so much, princess. More than you can ever imagine.โ
You nodded against his chest, tightening your own arms around his torso, afraid he might disappear.
โI love you too, Heeseungie.โ You rapsed, exhaustion now catching up to you.
Heeseungโs heartbeat underneath you lulled you steadily and quickly into sleep, your eyes fluttered shut.
His hand rested on your cheek, thumb drawing circles on it before he pressed a good night kiss on your forehead. After a while of caressing your cheek and patting your back, he spoke again:
โI promise, tomorrow, before I leave for work we will play in the snow, okey? We can build a snowman together.โ
Silence answered him.
When he glanced down, he realized that you were already knocked out on his chest. He chuckled under his breath.
โLook at you, princess. Knocked out in under a minute. You were fighting your sleep, hm? My tired babyโฆโ
He pulled the cover over your shoulders, making sure you were snuggled in so that no cold could reach you.
โSweet dreams, princess.โ
It didnโt take long for him to quickly follow you into the world of dreams.
Soooโฆ i started writing this in September last year after they finished the Walk the line tour. It somehow feels off to post this now becauseโฆ ykโฆ heโs not that busy anymore with touring/high demanding schedules so it feels kinda off and not suitable anymore. But Iโm cleaning up my drafts so I had to force myself to finish this. Tbh I donโt like the ending, it feels forced and unrealistic โ what do you guys think? I put some elements from our current situationโฆ ts hurt like hell, but I had this urge to put it in the fic for some reason. I was about to make a sad ending bc Iโm not feeling a happy ending with whatโs going on irl but idkโฆ I thought maybe this will comfort someone. Perhaps I donโt like this happy ending because irl we will be stuck in this nightmare forever and will never wake up from it and will never be told that this was all a dream, that he never left us, that heโs still in enhypen, and we are still engenes to himโฆ we will never have this kinda happy ending, yeah maybe thatโs the reason why I donโt like it ๐ซ dangโฆ
I would have gone in the snow alone and make a snowball and would have gone back to make him feel the cold snow when he would have been asleep... Nvm on second thought, I would feel too bad to do anything beside agreeing with him cuz he really works himself to the point beyond.
And thank you for making it a happy ending. It comforted me so much. A softness I needed. He may not be in Enhypen now but he still works the same. I miss him fuxk...
Hahaha but the point was that she didnโt want to enjoy it without him, just like he didnโt want to sleep alone.. i hope I was able to convey that ๐
Iโm glad you liked the ending. Miss him too ๐ always
Heeseung as a tired boyfriend is upsetting you more than you realise.
Heeseung x gf!reader โ angstish with a lot of comfort because we need it
I got inspired from that one Spotify interview where they played desire or deny and when they were asked about โa stroll under the full moonโ Heeseung answered with deny, saying โgirlsโฆ I gotta go to sleep.โ He was so cheeky and cute ๐
Only his soft snores alongside the noise from the movie you had been watching together filled the room.
You slightly lifted your head from his chest, careful not to startle him. His hand which was previously buried in your hair and massaged your head had slipped off. โBaby?โ You called out for him softly.
His snores continued, chest rising and falling in a rhythmic pattern under your hand. Leaning forward, you placed a soft kiss on his jaw. No response. You tried again by kissing the corner of his jaw, right next to his ear where you knew he was sensitive. He grunted and buried his face in his hoodie, still completely knocked out. You bit your lip to suppress a chuckle, kissing along his neck and jaw. โBaby~โ you kissed his cheek, โwake up, my love. You canโt sleep here, baby.โ Now you were trailing your kisses to his chin and nose, purposefully missing out on his soft, kissable lips.
His eyes fluttered, he looked at you with a dazed vision. โHm?โ Heavy eyes met yours.
"Baby, you can't sleep here, my love." You rubbed your nose against his. He didn't respond right away. His hand buried in your hair again and pulled you closer to him. You gasped softly, the strenght in your arms giving out. You fell right on his body, now completely sprawled over him. His cheek rubbed on your forehead as he pressed your face into the crook of his neck which was covered by his hoodie.
"You woke me up." He complained with a rough voice, softness seeping through when he wrapped his other arm tighter around your waist.
"I'm sorry, bambi." You kissed his hamster like cheek, the nickname you gave him melted his heart everytime. "I wish I could carry you to bed, but you're too heavy for me." Heeseung chuckled under his breath, eyelids fighting against sleep. "That would be weird...", he murmured, exhaustion never vanishing from his voice.
"I don't like to be woken up," he started lazily, "but if it's you waking me up with kisses like this..." he pulled you further into his embrace, "then itโs okey."
You looked up, cheeks flushed due to warmth of candles and the fireplace breathing through your apartment. His heart fluttered at the sight. Softness bloomed through his veins, his eyes, though still heavy with drowsiness, now shimmered with fondness and affection.
You kissed his chin, "I'm glad you're giving your girlfriend this privilige," you giggled. His eyes softened even more. "Always,โ he whispered more to himself than to you.
"Let's go to-" you yelped when Heeseung pulled you back to him as you were about to lift yourself up from his body.
"Hee-" You were cut off by a kiss on your lips. You sighed softly, his hand tilting your head so he could aim your soft lips accurately. Your body melted into his all over again.
โYou forgot to kiss me here.โ He mumbled against your lips, eyes twinkling mischievously.
The warm glow across your cheeks deepened. โYouโre so annoying,โ you whispered back, ears getting hot and lips brushing his. โLetโs get ready for bed, silly.โ
In bed, your head rested on Heeseungโs chest, now clothed in pyjamas and not his hoodie and sweatpants anymore. The comfortable and warm weight of your body on his soothed him steadily to sleep.
And when it suddenly disappeared, he groggily stirred awake. โWhere you goinโ?โ His hand lazily reached out for you though you already had slipped away from his reach.
โIโm just getting a glass of water, baby,โ you whispered, leaning down to press a kiss on the arch of his eyebrow. โGo back to sleep.โ
He responded with a gibberish โhurry upโ before his consciousness slowly slipped away. Even though he looked dead to the world, his subconscious was still alert to every sound from you. The footsteps tapping down the stairs, the light switch clicking, the cabinet door closing.
But then there was absolute silence.
A frown appeared on Heeseungโs face. He was still way too gone to actually wake up, but his instincts couldnโt ignore your ongoing absence. Unconsciously, he purred into his pillow in distress, his face burying in it as his arm stretched towards your side of the bed.
Suddenly, hurried footsteps echoed through the house. You ripped the door open, but your boyfriend was now fast asleep.
โOh my god! Heeseung! Wake up! You gotta see this!โ You began as you crawled on the bed towards him. You shook him gently by his shoulders.
He grunted, face burying even further into his pillow.
โBaby, baby! Wake up!โ
โHm.โ
โBaby, please~โ You tried to lift him up, of course it was an unnecessary attempt โ he didnโt budge one bit.
โHeeseung! Youโre not gonna believe it! Itโs snowing outside!โ
โHm?โ
โItโs snowing!โ
โM-hm.โ He grunted in fake acknowledgment.
โBaby, please, you need to see it! It looks so beautiful!โ You laid on top of him as you nestled your head next to his. โPlease, please, please.โ
โMhmmmโฆโ he grunted again, almost inaudible this time.
โPlease~!โ Your hands cupped his face. โBaby, please, wake up.โ You pouted. Genuine hurt cracked through your voice. How could you enjoy the first snowfall of the year without your boyfriend? โYou have to watch it with meโฆโ
A quiet, frustrated whimper elicited from your throat. Defeated, you rested your head on his chest.
He was way too exhausted. He worked so much and so hard. There was no chance he would wake up after the back to back concerts he just had. For some reason, it brought tears to your eyes.
โStupid boyfriendโฆโ you pouted quietly, childishly, as you rubbed your face into his chest like a cat.
And somehow, his eyes fluttered open. โHm?โ
You were too lost in your tears, wetting his pyjama shirt and softly sniffling that you didnโt notice him stirring awake.
His hand flew up to your head in worry. โWhatโs wrong? Why are you crying, pretty?โ His voice was deep and rough.
You gasped, head shooting up, โyou woke up! Oh my god, Heeseung! You wonโt believe this! Itโs snowing outside!โ
He blinked for a moment. Then a low chuckle escaped him, clearly taken by surprise, โyeah? Thatโs why youโre crying?โ He gently pushed your hair behind your ear. His thumb swiped at the corner of your eye. You shook your head, but the stubborn tears managed to fill your eyes yet again.
โThen why is my big girl crying? Hm?โ
โI- I donโt know.โ You felt so silly. Heโd definitely laugh at you if you told him.
He didnโt say anything at first. Just continued to stroke your cheekbone as he gazed at you with the softest eyes.
โYou thought I died or something?โ
You gasped a wet laugh. โWhat? No!โ You slapped his chest.
A lazy smile spread across his face. Suddenly, he sat up and leaned against the headboard. He pulled you on his lap and cradled your head against his chest. His naked chest was peeking out of his unbuttoned shirt as he wrapped his arms around you trying to shield you from the cold world. Or anything that was making you cry. He pressed a kiss on your forehead and started rocking you slowly as if you were his baby.
โYou said itโs snowing?โ He asked after a while. He always talked to you very softly and cautiously, but whenever you were crying and vulnerable he became even more gentle. As if he was afraid you would break if he wasnโt careful enough.
You nodded frequently against his chest, doe and shimmery eyes glancing at him.
โYeah?โ He chuckled under his breath. He couldnโt help but find you so cute, so adorable at this moment. His heart squeezed in adoration. His hand cupped your soft cheek, stroking it gently.
For a while, he just gazed at you softly, taking his time to caress you and soak you in. He pressed a kiss on your forehead. Your eyes fluttered at his soft lips loving you, his kiss lingering on your skin even after he separated.
โYou wanna watch the snowfall?โ His voice was tender, as if he knew what and what not to say when youโre all vulnerable in his arms.
โOh, yes!! Please, please, please!!โ You nodded eagerly and quickly stood up. You took his hand to drag him towards the door and basically pulled him out of the sheets.
You were determined to share the most beautiful sight with the love of your life.
โWait-โ he halted, tugging you back, his hair messy in the cutest and sleepiest way, โwait. Where are you going? Baby-โ he was so amused by your antics, โwe have a window here, pretty.โ
โOh- No! We have to go downstairs, the view from the living room is a lot better!โ You pulled him with you without any hesitation. His big and firmer hand wrapped around your smaller, soft one. His heart swelled up. He didnโt dare to protest, you were just the cutest being so he let you lead him to wherever your heart desired.
You gasped dramatically once you stood in front of the window. โLook at the view, Seungie!โ You let go of his warm hand and pushed the curtains away to show him more of the view.
โIsnโt it so beautiful??โ You awed with bright, sparkling eyes, hands on the cool glass as you watched the snowflakes dancing in the air.
Heeseung leaned against the big window, arms crossed as he hummed. His sleepy, sluggish demeanour was a huge contrast to your excited, giddy one. He sighed heavily, his head resting on the glass as the coolness seeped into his skin.
You whipped your head at him, โitโs so beautiful, isnโt it??โ You tried again after he didnโt give an answer. He nodded lazily, barely managing to keep his eyes open. His eyes shifted to you, lingering on your bare arms and the way your body was trembling almost unnoticeably. But never unnoticed by him.
A disappointed, accusatory frown appeared on your face, โyouโre not even looking, baby.โ
A yawn escaped from his mouth as he lazily stretched his arms. He then pulled you into his embrace. His head rested comfortably on your shoulder as his arms wrapped around around your waist. Your hands automatically rested on his firm forearms. He pressed a soft kiss on your shoulder before rubbing his face against it, his movements were sluggish and lazy.
โ โm lookinโ he mumbled against the crook of your neck. He looked up and kissed your cheek, arms tightening around you. One hand rubbed your chilled, naked arm, โ โs prettyโ. He lingered a kiss on your neck. โSo pretty,โ he repeated before he rested his chin on your shoulder, his face half buried in your hair and neck.
You giggled excitedly, โI know!! The snow is soooo pretty.โ
Heeseung chuckled under his breath and pressed himself further against your back, wrapping you even tighter in his arms.
โReally pretty,โ he hummed.
He definitely wasnโt talking about the view. Matter of fact, when he had you in his arms like this, he couldnโt care less about some snow.
You let out an existed gasp, an idea striking you. You turned in his embrace. โBabe! Letโs go outside! The snow is still untouched, oh my god- this will be so fun!โ
His eyebrows raised in surprised, โhuh?โ
โPlease, please, please! A snowfall during the night is the best thing to experience!! You gotta trust me on this one!โ Suddenly, you unwrapped yourself from his arms. You already made up your mind that you were going out with your boyfriend. At midnight. In the cold.
โWait-โ his hand caught you before you were out of reach. โBaby-โ he chuckled softly, tired eyes flickering with amusement. โWe canโt go outside- itโs midnight, baby.โ His other hand wrapped around your waist.
โBut thatโs the point! You have to experience the first snowfall of the year outside. And during night itโs even more beautiful!โ
โBaby-โ he pulled you closer to his chest, his hand cupping your cheek. His thumb glided over your cheek as he shook his head subtly, โitโs very late-โ
โBut thatโs the fun part-! Look itโs even full moon-!โ
He shook his head yet again, โbabygirlโฆ I gotta go to sleepโฆโ
Your shoulders sagged visibly, โoh-โ
His tired eyes continued to look at you with the fondest expression. โWe gotta sleep, hm? Itโs late. I have work tomorrow.โ He kissed your forehead, โwe can do this another time. Letโs go to bed for now.โ
Your heart tightened at that. Another time.
Thatโs what he always told you.
Always โanother timeโ.
Always โI have no timeโ.
Always โIโm too tiredโ.
Your throat tightened painfully. You always have work. The words lingered on your tongue. But you held yourself back.
He is tired. Donโt be selfish. You reminded yourself.
You blinked your eyes repeatedly before he could notice. You merely nodded, feeling already hopeless and defeated.
When you were settled back in your bed, you somehow managed to lie furthest away from him. Usually, you would always have some kind of closeness when falling asleep โ hands intertwined, bodies spooning, legs tangled together, his hand on your waist, or your feet nestled between his legs โ whatever it was, your bodies were always touching.
At first, he didnโt think much of it โ sleep already fogging his mind as soon as his head hit the pillow.
โLove you, pretty. Gโnight.โ He murmured sleepily. Your back was facing him, and you couldnโt bring yourself to answer him because of the painful lump forming in your throat. You couldnโt shift closer to your boyfriend. Not because you were mad at him, of course not โ he never gave you a reason to be angry at him. But you couldnโt help but feel hurt. The pain in your heart was just hurting too much. And you knew that as soon as you get in his warm embrace you would start crying.
Suddenly, his strong arm wrapped around your waist and swiftly pulled you across the bed to his chest. He buried his face in your hair, โI said I Iove you, baby.โ He repeated in a low tone.
Your lips began to tremble. A single teardrop slid down your temple. He pressed a gentle kiss on your shoulder, โwhyโre you not answerinโ? My princess โs already sleepinโ?โ His hand splayed across your stomach, your back resting warmly against his chest. โHm?โ You shook your head.
โWhatโs the matter, baby? Are you mad at me?โ Your heart ached at his soft tone. It hurt you even more to hear that he thought you were mad at him.
You shook your head again, mumbling a wet, โโcourse not.โ
โThen tell me whatโs wrong. Whyโs my pretty princess not answering me?โ
And thatโs all that it took. You turned around in his embrace and just started sobbing. His warmth and gentle way with you were enough for you to break.
His doe eyes widened, โwhy, why, why??โ His arms tightened immediately in a protective manner as you buried your face in his chest, your shoulders shaking.
โWhat- baby, baby. Whatโs wrong?? Why are you crying??โ That made you cry even more. Causing his heart to ache even more. โWhatโs wrong??โ
โI- I hate your j-job.โ You choked on your tears, he couldnโt even understand it.
โWhat?โ The crease between his eyebrows intensified.
โI hate your job!โ You repeated louder, though it was muffled by his chest.
โWhat-?โ He laughed softly, his hand came up to caress your head as the other spread out on your back protectively. โYou hate my job? Why?โ
โCause- cause-โ you hesitated, โyouโre constantly tired and sleepy!โ
His heart melted in real time. โAwww~ babyโฆโ he laid his cheek on your head. โIs this why you were crying earlier too?โ
You nodded against his chest, pouting. โI saw the snow and came to tell you because I wanted to watch the snowfall with you, but- but you werenโt waking up no matter how much I tried. And it- it makes me so sad to see you so exhausted, and- and work so hard that- that youโre too tired to do stuff like that with me. We-we already spent so little time together and whenever weโre together youโre just too tired and just sleeping. I- I hate that job of y-yours. I- I hate seeing you so- so tired and exhausted.โ You hiccuped, your tears stained his shirt as you clutched onto it tightly.
He caressed your hair, trying to calm you down. He cooed, โIโm sorry, baby.โ He kissed your forehead. You snuggled further into him in response. โIโm sorry for not waking up. I didnโt know you loved the snow this much.โ You shook your head at that, โno, Heeseung. Itโs not about the snow- itโs- itโs about-โ you couldnโt explain any further, not finding the words as you sobbed loudly.
His arms tightened around, wanting to ground your trembling body. โBabyโฆโ he murmured worriedly.
โShhโฆโ he hushed in your ear, โitโs okey, itโs okey. Let it out, hm?โ He patted your back soothingly. His heart ached so painfully seeing you so upset. He had never seen you this distraught, he knew that there must another reason โ you were hiding something else from him.
โBabyโฆโ he kissed your temple, mumbling against it, โitโs okey, Iโm here. Hm? Iโm here.โ He didnโt understand why but somehow that made you cry even harder, your tears didnโt seem to have an end. He couldnโt bear to listen to it any longer, his heart was tearing at every sob.
He cupped your cheek to tilt your face to him. โHey, hey, hey, baby. Whatโs wrong? Why are you crying so muchโฆ? Youโre breaking my heart, babygirl.โ He kissed your swollen eyelids, one by one. Then your reddish nose, followed by a kiss on your forehead. โDonโt cryโฆ please.โ You sniffled softly, slowly calming down due to his gentle kisses and soft tone. He always spoke so gently with you.
โWhatโs wrong, princess? Did something else happen?โ He tried, his hand caressing your cheek as the other held you close to him. You hiccuped under your breath, trying to calm down. You shook your head in denial, but he saw right through you. He tilted his head softly, doe eyes waiting patiently for you. Your lower lip jutted out as the corners of your lips went down.
โCome on, princess. Tell me. You need to tell me whatโs making you upset.โ He pecked the corner of your sad lips.
You hesitated for a moment. โA few days agoโฆโ you started, he nodded immediately, his bambi eyes encouraging you, โI mean- a few nights ago, I had a dream-โ your eyes filled with tears, โI dreamed that you- that you left- left me.โ A sob left your mouth, the tears blurred your vision again. His eyebrows furrowed instantly.
โI dreamed that you left- left me. Out of nowhere. It was so sudden and unexpected. In my dream, I woke up to text messages from you where you said that you had other dreams and that being with me was getting in your way of achieving them.โ You hiccuped, the pain resurfaced saying it out loud like that. Your voice became timid: โYou told me that our relationship was holding you back from chasing your dreams.โ
โOh princessโฆโ he buried your wet face in his neck. But you continued: โAnd then you told me that youโre too tired to balance a career and a relationship and that- that you love your careerโฆ more than me-โ you sobbed louder towards the end.
He patted your trembling body, โheyโฆ it was just a dream. Hm? Just a dream, my princess. Iโm here. Iโm not going anywhere.โ His eyes became glassy, he couldnโt bear the imagination of leaving you. Hearing you talk about it ripped his heart apart into million pieces.
He kissed the top of your head as you wetted his neck, sobbing and sobbing. โIโm not leaving you, princess. Never.โ His hand smoothed over your trembling back, the other never leaving the back of your head, โit was just a dream...โ
โBut- but it felt so real.โ You sobbed.
โI know. I know.โ He murmured against your temple, lips lingering there to soothe you. โBut Iโm here. Youโre in my arms. Iโm never leaving you.โ He pulled away a little to look at your tear streaked face. โI hate seeing you cry like this.โ He spoke as he wiped the tears away. โThat Heeseung in your dream? He is stupid, okey? He is not me,โ he kissed your forehead, โnever will be me. He is just a foolish idiot who doesnโt know how precious you are.โ He kissed your flushed cheeks.
โYou mean it?โ Your small voice trembled. Doubt evident.
โOf course.โ He answered firmly. โYouโre my beautiful princess, alright? The most precious possession I own. I could never be so stupid and leave you behind, do you understand?โ You nodded against his neck. โI love you so much, my angel.โ He caressed your hair, โI will never leave you. I promise. You have no idea how much I depend on you. I canโt imagine a life without you. Never.โ
His throat tightened, โI know it gets exhausting to date me. I know itโs not easy. I donโt have an ordinary life. But if I tell you youโre all I have, then Iโm begging you to believe me. I promise it will get better. Our relationship will not stay like this forever. There are better days ahead. Days where I wonโt be as busy anymore. And Iโm truly, truly grateful that I have such a patient and understanding partner. I truly am.โ
He grasped your hand and kissed your knuckles one after another. He then rested your intertwined hands on his chest, right above his heart.
โAnd I want you to know one thing: There are many things I want to achieve in life. Many dreams that have yet to be fulfilled. But there is not a single dream of mine that doesnโt have you in it. Thereโs no future for me without you. A future without you simply doesnโt exist.โ
The lump in your throat appeared once again. Your eyes met his though your vision was blurry, yet again.
โPromise?โ Your voice was rough from crying so much.
โI promise, angel.โ He hook your pinky with his own and pressed a kiss on it. โPinky promise,โ he whispered.
You nodded, blinking your teary eyes as you settled on his chest again, seeking comfort.
โI love you so much, princess. More than you can ever imagine.โ
You nodded against his chest, tightening your own arms around his torso, afraid he might disappear.
โI love you too, Heeseungie.โ You rapsed, exhaustion now catching up to you.
Heeseungโs heartbeat underneath you lulled you steadily and quickly into sleep, your eyes fluttered shut.
His hand rested on your cheek, thumb drawing circles on it before he pressed a good night kiss on your forehead. After a while of caressing your cheek and patting your back, he spoke again:
โI promise, tomorrow, before I leave for work we will play in the snow, okey? We can build a snowman together.โ
Silence answered him.
When he glanced down, he realized that you were already knocked out on his chest. He chuckled under his breath.
โLook at you, princess. Knocked out in under a minute. You were fighting your sleep, hm? My tired babyโฆโ
He pulled the cover over your shoulders, making sure you were snuggled in so that no cold could reach you.
โSweet dreams, princess.โ
It didnโt take long for him to quickly follow you into the world of dreams.
Soooโฆ i started writing this in September last year after they finished the Walk the line tour. It somehow feels off to post this now becauseโฆ ykโฆ heโs not that busy anymore with touring/high demanding schedules so it feels kinda off and not suitable anymore. But Iโm cleaning up my drafts so I had to force myself to finish this. Tbh I donโt like the ending, it feels forced and unrealistic โ what do you guys think? I put some elements from our current situationโฆ ts hurt like hell, but I had this urge to put it in the fic for some reason. I was about to make a sad ending bc Iโm not feeling a happy ending with whatโs going on irl but idkโฆ I thought maybe this will comfort someone. Perhaps I donโt like this happy ending because irl we will be stuck in this nightmare forever and will never wake up from it and will never be told that this was all a dream, that he never left us, that heโs still in enhypen, and we are still engenes to himโฆ we will never have this kinda happy ending, yeah maybe thatโs the reason why I donโt like it ๐ซ dangโฆ
I would have gone in the snow alone and make a snowball and would have gone back to make him feel the cold snow when he would have been asleep... Nvm on second thought, I would feel too bad to do anything beside agreeing with him cuz he really works himself to the point beyond.
And thank you for making it a happy ending. It comforted me so much. A softness I needed. He may not be in Enhypen now but he still works the same. I miss him fuxk...
โ when the deadline hit, your landlord gave you an option that made paying rent the least of your worries.
โน เฃช ห -> :Parings: (Landlord) Heeseung x reader.แ -
โน เฃช ห -> :Genres: ( MDNI ),paying rent with your body, , necktie pulling, smut, everything is consensual , Spit-Trail Kiss, grown Adult romance ,(m) receiving and (f) receiving; ,freaky heeseung mentioned ,switch heeseung included , big d heeseung included , protection used , Landlord heeseung included , small age-gap included (2-4 years apart ) , Deep and husky / raspy voice heeseung included , he talks you through it , older heeseung included , Hickie's included , Pet names included (examples like : Sir, and ect ) , heeseung likes being called DADA, heeseung has man Tataโs , Dirty Talk, Praise Kink, Deep Voice/Whispering, Encouragement,ย Financial Power Play, Broad shoulders heeseung , Paid In Kind, Contractual Relationship, Moral Ambiguity (Light), Evolving Power Dynamic, Overstimulated Submissive (M/F), Nipple Play (Male), Rough Kissing, Heavy Breathing, Collar Play, After care included, Internal Ejaculation, Visible Bulge Post-Ejaculation, , learning how to do your first blow job , riding the dih for the first time , experienced heeseung included , not fully experienced reader included , reader is (24 ) , heeseung / Evan is (28), creampie!, fingering and squirting included , if you squint closely size kink , pussy deprived eater included ,Both of them are consenting adults .
release date : March 15th or March 18th...
โน เฃช ห -> : sypnosis: The rent is late. Critically, impossibly late.You live in an apartment complex owned by the notorious Mr. Leeโor, as everyone knows him, Heeseung or Evanโand heโs finally come to collect. You expected an eviction notice. Instead, the older man with the deep, authoritative voice offers a different kind of payment plan: a strictly consensual, transactional arrangement where your body becomes the collateral for your debt. The deadline is past, the desperation is real, and the cost of keeping your home is becoming Heeseungโs most treasured tenant.
I'm so ready for this. Danggg my glorious author pls take your time and post this. I'm waiting patiently ๐โจ (and if the tag list is still open, can I also get added ?)
OR... In Which Your Accidental Husband finally broke free from his self-restraints and can't seem to keep his hands off you.
PAIRING : Park Jay x Fem! Reader (OC)
GENRE : Smut, Romance, Married Couple AU, Contract Marriage, Sexual Tension, Comedy, Domestic Intimacy, Mutual Pining
WARNINGS : 18+, explicit sexual content, heavy make out sessions, tension-filled intimacy, possessiveness, kissing, suggestive language, husband-wife dynamics, teasing, loss of self-restraint, emotional vulnerability, implied overstimulation, soft dom!Jay, affectionate banter, lots of touching and unresolved feelings finally exploding.
A/n : Hello Lovelies ~ This is just a Drabble and the orginal Book ver. is Posted on Wattpad. I will leave the link down Below. ๐๐ป๐
[My Accidental Husband - Jay Park | Read Here]
Sia was walking past by her and Jay's shared bedroom when she was yanked inside the dimly lit room and the door shut behind her and she was pinned against the bookshelf by none other than her husband Jay who had his hands gripping on each side of her bare waist. He took her in, she was clad in a beautiful Saree. He was standing close to her, barely any space between them. Sia was flustered. "W-what are you doing ?"
Jay smirked and nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck, nipping teasingly. "Nothing just was a tad bit needy for my wife's attention so I had to resort to this way."
"Jay! I was busy preparing for Diwali. What's with youโngh.." Jay gave a love bite to her, behind her ear and placed a kiss afterwords, smiling. There relationship wasn't even that of a normal loving married couple. An accidental marriage due to alcohol was all to it then what is these moments and feelings? It all feels so natural. Jay's nose traced up to her jaw to her cheeks before placing a sweet kiss on her cheek. Then he kissed her. The tension was palpable between them.
Sia's mind was a whirlwind of confusion and a dizzying, unwanted pleasure. The scent of Jay's cologne, something woody and dark, filled her senses, mingling with the faint, sweet smell of the marigolds she'd been stringing for the Diwali decorations. His body was a furnace against hers, the hard planes of his chest pressing into the soft curves of her breasts, which were barely contained by the silk blouse of her saree. The bookshelf dug into her back, a sharp reminder of the reality of the situation, but it was a reality that was quickly dissolving into a haze of sensation.
The question of why was a distant echo in her head. Why was he doing this? Why was her body responding with such traitorous heat, her core clenching with an ache she hadn't allowed herself to acknowledge? This man was her husband by a technicality, a mistake fueled by tequila and a Vegas chapel. They lived together, they tolerated each other, they navigated the awkwardness of their shared life. But this... this was something else entirely. This was raw and possessive, and it felt terrifyingly right.
His kiss deepened, no longer sweet and questioning but demanding and sure. His tongue swept against the seam of her lips, and she parted them on a gasp, giving him the access he so confidently took. He tasted of mint and something uniquely him. One of his hands left the bookshelf, sliding down the curve of her waist, his fingers tracing the delicate gold chain that sat on her hip, holding the pleats of her saree. He found the soft, exposed skin of her midriff, his thumb stroking circles there that made her stomach flutter and her knees weak.
Jay broke the kiss, his breathing ragged as he rested his forehead against hers. His eyes, usually so guarded and sarcastic, were now dark with a hunger that mirrored the one stirring deep within her. "You drive me insane, Sia," he growled, his voice a low rumble that vibrated through her entire body. "Walking around looking like this, smelling like this... pretending you don't see the way I look at you."
Before she could form a coherent thought, let alone a reply, his hands moved with a purpose that stole her breath. He found the pin securing her pallu, the draped end of her saree, and with a flick of his wrist, it was undone. The sheer, embroidered fabric cascaded down her body, pooling at her feet in a whisper of silk. The cool air of the room hit her exposed skin, pebbling her nipples beneath the thin, tight-fitting choli. Her instinct was to cover herself, to hide, but his gaze held her captive. He looked at her not with judgment, but with pure, unadulterated reverence and lust.
"Jay," she breathed, his name a plea and a prayer all at once.
He answered by hooking his fingers into the neckline of her blouse and pulling. The delicate hooks gave way easily, and he tugged the garment down her arms, freeing her breasts to his hungry eyes. He groaned, a low, guttural sound of approval, before his head descended. He took one peaked nipple into his mouth, his tongue swirling around the sensitive bud before he sucked hard, sending a jolt of electricity straight to her clit. Sia arched her back, a cry escaping her lips as she threaded her fingers through his hair, holding him to her.
His other hand wasn't idle. It slid down her stomach, deftly undoing the knot of her petticoat. The soft cotton joined her saree on the floor, leaving her completely bare before him. He lifted his head from her breast, his gaze intense as he took in the sight of her. "So fucking beautiful," he murmured, more to himself than to her.
He scooped her up effortlessly, her legs wrapping around his waist instinctively as he carried her the few feet to the bed. He laid her down on the mattress, his body covering hers immediately, his weight a welcome anchor in the storm of her emotions. He shed his own clothes with impatient haste, his shirt and pants discarded in a heap on the floor. When his naked skin pressed against hers, Sia felt like she was coming home. It was a feeling so profound it scared her.
He kissed her again, a deep, drugging kiss as his hands roamed her body, learning every curve and dip. He traced the line of her spine, the swell of her hips, the soft skin of her inner thighs. His touch was both a brand and a benediction. When his fingers finally slid between her legs, she was embarrassingly, gloriously wet. He found her clit, already swollen and sensitive, and began to circle it with a maddeningly slow rhythm.
"Please," she whimpered, bucking her hips against his hand, desperate for more friction, for more of him.
"Please what, Sia?" he asked, his voice a dark tease against her ear. "Tell me what you want."
"I want... I want you," she gasped, the admission tearing from her throat. "Inside me. Now."
That was all the encouragement he needed. He positioned himself at her entrance, the thick head of his cock teasing her slick folds. He looked down at her, his eyes searching hers for any sign of hesitation. He found none. With one smooth, powerful thrust, he buried himself inside her to the hilt.
They both cried out at the sudden, intense pleasure. He filled her completely, stretching her in a way that was both overwhelming and perfect. He stayed still for a moment, letting her adjust, his face buried in the crook of her neck. Then, he began to move.
His strokes were deep and deliberate, pulling out almost completely before slamming back into her. The bed creaked in rhythm with their movements, the only sound in the room besides their ragged breaths and the slap of skin against skin. Sia met him thrust for thrust, her nails digging into his broad shoulders as the coil of pleasure in her belly tightened to an almost painful degree.
"Look at me," he commanded, his voice rough with passion.
She forced her eyes open, meeting his gaze. The intensity she saw there was her undoing. He wasn't just fucking her; he was claiming her, possessing her, body and soul. He reached between them, his thumb finding her clit again, rubbing it in time with his thrusts.
That was it. The coil snapped. Her orgasm ripped through her with the force of a tidal wave, a blinding, all-consuming pleasure that had her screaming his name. Her inner walls clenched around him, milking his cock, and with a hoarse shout, he followed her over the edge, his hot release flooding her.
He collapsed on top of her, his body trembling with the force of his release. For a long time, they just lay there, their hearts pounding in a frantic, synchronized rhythm. The air was thick with the scent of sex and sweat and something new, something fragile.
Eventually, Jay rolled off her, pulling her into his arms and tucking her head under his chin. He stroked her hair, his touch now infinitely gentle. The man who had just fucked her with wild abandon was now holding her with a tenderness that brought tears to her eyes.
The accidental marriage, the awkwardness, the distanceโit all felt like a lifetime ago. In its place was this. This raw, undeniable connection that had just been explosively consummated. Sia didn't know what tomorrow would bring, if this would change anything or if they would just go back to their careful dance of avoidance. But lying there in his arms, sated and safe for the first time since she could remember, she found she didn't care. All that mattered was this moment, and the terrifying, thrilling possibility that maybe, just maybe, their mistake was actually their destiny.
Weeks had passed since that explosive afternoon in their bedroom. The unspoken tension between Sia and Jay had shifted, coalescing into a charged, fragile new normal. They weren't a couple in the traditional sense, but they were no longer just roommates. There were lingering touches in the hallway, heated glances across the dinner table, and nights where the space between them in bed seemed to shrink by inches until it disappeared altogether.
Tonight, they were at a rooftop gala for one of Jay's architectural firm's clients. The city of Mumbai glittered below them, a sea of lights stretching to the horizon. Sia felt the city's pulse, a rhythm that seemed to match the thrumming in her own blood. She'd chosen a deep emerald gown that clung to her curves, a stark contrast to the traditional sarees she usually wore. Jay had done a double-take when he'd seen her, his jaw tightening almost imperceptibly.
Now, they stood near the balcony's edge, a flute of champagne in each of their hands. The cool night air was a welcome relief against her heated skin.
"You're quiet," Jay murmured, his voice low enough to be a private conversation amidst the party's chatter. He stood just behind her, his hand resting possessively on the small of her back, a brand of heat through the thin silk of her dress.
"Just taking it all in," she replied, not turning around. "It's beautiful."
"It is," he said, but his gaze was on the side of her neck, not the cityscape. He leaned closer, his lips brushing against her ear. "But not as beautiful as you."
A shiver traced a path down her spine. She turned her head to give him a wry look. "Flattery, Mr. Park ? Is that your architectural secret?"
He chuckled, a dark, warm sound. "Only for you, Mrs. Park." The title, once a source of awkwardness, now sent a jolt of possessive pride through her.
He set his glass down on a nearby table and took hers from her hand, placing it beside his. "Come with me," he said, his voice leaving no room for argument. He took her hand, his fingers lacing with hers, and led her away from the crowd, past the string quartet, and towards a dark, secluded corner of the rooftop where the service elevator was located. It was an alcove, hidden from view by a large potted fern.
"Jay, what are we doing?" she asked, a thrill of danger and excitement coursing through her.
"Something I've wanted to do all night," he replied, backing her against the cool, textured wall. He caged her in with his body, placing one hand on the wall beside her head. The ambient light from the party caught the sharp line of his jaw, the dangerous glint in his eyes. "You have no idea what you do to me in that dress."
Before she could respond, his mouth was on hers. This wasn't a slow, gentle kiss. It was a hungry, desperate claiming. His lips were firm and demanding, his tongue sweeping into her mouth to tangle with hers in a dance of pure, unadulterated need. One of his hands slid from the wall to her waist, gripping her hip and pulling her flush against him. She could feel the hard, thick ridge of his erection pressing insistently against her belly through the fabric of their clothes, and a soft moan escaped her throat.
He swallowed the sound, his kiss deepening, growing more frantic. His other hand moved up, tangling in the hair at the nape of her neck, holding her captive as he devoured her. Sia's hands roamed over his back, feeling the taut muscles beneath the expensive fabric of his tuxedo jacket. She fisted the material, pulling him closer, needing more.
Jay's mouth left hers, trailing a path of fire down her jaw to the sensitive skin of her throat. He nipped and sucked at her pulse point, not hard enough to leave a mark that couldn't be hidden, but enough to make her head fall back against the wall with a thud. "Jay," she gasped, her voice breathy. "Someone could see..."
"Let them," he growled against her skin, his hand leaving her hip to slide around to her back. He found the zipper of her dress and, with agonizing slowness, pulled it down. The sound of the teeth parting was loud in the quiet alcove. The cool air hit her exposed back, and she shivered. His warm, calloused hand traced the line of her spine, his touch electric.
He kissed his way back up to her mouth, his hand moving around her ribcage, his thumb stroking the underside of her breast through the delicate lace of her bra. Her nipples pebbled into tight, aching points, desperate for his touch. He seemed to know, to understand her body's silent pleas. His thumb brushed over one straining peak, and she whimpered into his mouth, her hips bucking involuntarily against his.
"Fuck, Sia," he groaned, breaking the kiss to rest his forehead against hers. His breathing was heavy, his eyes black with lust. "I want to take you right here, against this wall."
His words were crude, but they were exactly what she needed to hear. The thought of it, of being taken by him in this semi-public place, with the sound of the party just feet away, was intoxicating. She reached down between them, her fingers brushing against the straining button of his trousers. She palmed his hard cock through the fabric, and he hissed, his hips jerking forward into her touch.
She was about to undo his belt, to give him the permission he was silently asking for, when a burst of laughter from a passing waiter broke the spell. They both froze, the reality of their location crashing down on them.
Jay cursed under his breath, a sound of pure frustration. He rested his forehead against the wall beside her head, his body still pressed tightly against hers. After a moment, he pushed himself away, running a hand through his already disheveled hair. He quickly zipped up her dress, his fingers fumbling slightly.
He straightened his own jacket, his eyes meeting hers in the dim light. The fire was still there, banked but not extinguished. "Later," he promised, his voice a low, husky rumble that was more of a threat than a promise. "When I get you home, I'm going to fuck you so hard you won't remember your own name."
He held out his hand to her, and Sia took it, her legs feeling like jelly. He led her back to the party, a perfect picture of a composed gentleman. But his grip on her hand was tight, a silent, possessive claim that told her the night was far from over. And as he brought her knuckles to his lips for a soft, almost innocent kiss, Sia knew with absolute certainty that the rooftop was just the appetizer. The main course was yet to come.
Synopsis : You were just trying to have a peaceful night. Snacks in hand, brain officially clocked out after a week of corporate slaveryโlife was good for once.
Until some guy literally runs into your life.
Not just any guy. A very attractive, very distressed, very clearly-being-chased guy.
And because you apparently canโt mind your own business, you end up dragging him into a dark alley, lying straight to a group of obsessive girls, and accidentally saving his life.
Cool. Great. Hero moment.
Yeah no.
Because the moment you turn back, heโs barely standing.
And before you can even process anything, he collapses on you.
Now youโre stuck there, holding an unconscious stranger whoโs literally burning up, wondering if you just saved someoneโฆ or accidentally got yourself into something way more complicated than a quiet night with snacks.
Genre : Idol!AU ; Strangers to Lovers ; Secret Relationship ; Hurt/Comfort ; Slow Burn ; Angst with Fluff ; Emotional Dependency / Clingy Love ; Slice of Life (lowkey chaotic).
This Is What Falling In Love Feels Like โ Heeseung (Cover)
Give Me Your Forever โ Zack Tabudlo
Line Without a Hook โ Ricky Montgomery
Until I Found You โ Stephen Sanchez
Falling โ Harry Styles
My Love Mine All Mine โ Mitski
Double Take โ dhruv
Best Part โ Daniel Caesar ft. H.E.R.
Love Me Low โ Ai Bendr
Slow Dancing in the Dark โ Joji
Golden Hour โ JVKE
Heaven โ Niall Horan
โชโช But I won't feel blue, Like I always do.
'Cause somewhere in the crowd there's you... โชโช
The song hums softly in your ears, familiar and comforting in that quiet, late-evening kind of way. The kind that makes everything feel a little slower, a little softerโlike the world isnโt actively trying to ruin your life for once.
You swing the plastic bag in your hand absentmindedly, the crinkle of it barely audible over the music. Chips, instant ramen, a chocolate bar you definitely didnโt need but bought anywayโyour survival kit for the night.
Honestly? You deserved this.
A whole week of corporate tortureโemails, fake smiles, โper my last emailโ energy, and pretending you actually cared about whatever meeting couldโve been a messageโand now you were finally free. No alarms. No deadlines. No people. Just you, your snacks, and absolutely zero responsibilities.
You take a small skip in your step, not even realizing youโre doing it, the cool evening air brushing against your skin. The streetlights flicker on one by one, casting that warm, golden glow over the pavement. Itโs quietโnot dead silent, but peaceful enough that your shoulders finally relax for the first time all day. One earbud shifts slightly as you adjust it, humming along under your breath, completely in your own little world.
This was the plan.
Get home. Change into your comfiest clothes. Flop onto your bed like youโve just survived a war. Eat everything in that bag like it personally offended you. Maybe put on something mindless in the background and justโฆ exist.
No chaos. No drama. No unexpected plot twists. Just a normal, peaceful night.
โฆyeah, that was the plan.
Youโre mid-hum, fully vibing, when something feelsโฆ off. Not dramatic. Justโoff. At first, itโs just noise. Footsteps. Fast ones. You barely notice it, still in your own world, until the sound gets louder. Closer. Messier. Like someoneโs not just walkingโbut running.
Your brows knit slightly as you pull one earbud out. Thatโs when you see him. A guyโdressed head to toe in blackโrunning like his life depends on it. Not jogging. Not late-for-something running. Noโthis is panic running.
His hair catches under the streetlight for a secondโcherry redโand his faceโฆ
Yeah. Not okay. He looks exhausted. Like heโs been running for way too long. Breathing uneven, steps slightly unsteady, like he could trip any second.
And thenโ
Voices. High-pitched. Loud. Too loud. You glance past him and your stomach twists. A group of girls, phones out, chasing him. Actually chasing him.
Not normal. Not excited-fan normal. Something about it feels wrong. Pushy. Aggressive. Your grip tightens around your snack bag.
Yeahโฆ no. Thatโs weird.
Your brain told you that it's not your problem. But your body was already moving.
โHeyโ!โ
You donโt even think it through. You just step forward and grab his wrist as he passes you. He stumbles, clearly not expecting it, and you donโt give him time to reactโjust pull him hard toward the narrow gap between two buildings.
โDonโt fight me, justโcome here,โ you mutter, more to yourself than him.
You shove him into the tight space, pushing him back into the shadows. He nearly collapses right there, one hand hitting the wall to steady himself.
Crap.
No time. You step out just as the girls catch up. Phones still up. Eyes scanning. One of them looks straight at you.
โDid you see someone pass by? Red hair? Black clothes?โ
You blink at her. Tilt your head slightly. Confused. Blank. Innocent.
โโฆNo?โ
A pause.
You even add a small frown, like theyโre mildly inconveniencing you.
โIโve just been walking. Thereโs no one here.โ
They groanโactual, loud frustrationโand one of them mutters something under her breath before they all rush past you, heading the other direction. You stand there for a second. Still. Listening. Footsteps fading. Voices disappearing. And only when youโre sureโcompletely sureโtheyโre goneโฆ
You let out a breath. Silence. You turn back toward the gap.
โโฆHey?โ
Heโs still there. Barely.
Pressed against the wall, shoulders slumped, breathing like heโs been holding himself together by pure willpower alone.
Up close, he looks worse. Way worse.
Hair messy, sticking slightly to his forehead. Clothes disheveled. His chest rising and falling too fast, too uneven.
You step closer, cautious now.
โAre you okay?โ
Stupid question. Obviously not.
He tries to straighten, like he wants to respond, but it doesnโt really work. His hand slips slightly against the wall.
โโฆYou shouldnโtโโ he starts, voice hoarse, barely audible.
And then he sways. Your eyes widen.
โWaitโโ
Too late. His entire weight drops forward. Right onto you.
โโoh my godโ!โ
You barely manage to catch him, arms wrapping around him on instinct as you stagger back a step.
Heโs heavy. Likeโreally heavy. And completely out.
โHeyโhey, hello??โ
You shift your grip, trying not to let both of you fall over. No response. Great.
โPlease donโt be dead, I literally just met you.โ
You adjust him again, struggling as his full weight leans into you. One of your hands presses against his neckโpulse.
Okay. Heโs alive. Barely cooperating, but alive. You let out a shaky breath, then pause.
Heโsโฆ warm. Noโnot warm. Burning.
โโฆWhy are you so hot?โ you mumble, pressing the back of your hand lightly against his forehead.
Yeah. Fever. Definitely fever.
You look around, suddenly hyper-aware of everything again. The empty street. The direction those girls ran. The fact that youโre standing here holding an unconscious stranger like this is completely normal.
Your brain starts firing off all at onceโ
You donโt know him. This is unsafe. You should leave. You canโt leave. What if they come back? What if he wakes up andโwhat? Kills you? Great. Nice plan.
โWow. Amazing. Love this situation for me,โ you mutter under your breath. You shift again, nearly losing balance.
โOkayโnopeโcanโt stay here.โ
You look down at him. Unconscious. Breathing heavy. Completely out of it.
โโฆYouโre actually so inconvenient right now.โ
A pause. A deep sigh escaped your lips. You just wanted a damn peaceful night to yourself. So much for having a great night.
โYeahโฆ no. Iโm not letting you die in an alley. Congrats.โ
You adjust your grip on him, already regretting every life decision that led you here.
โOkayโstand. Stand up. Help me out a little, yeah?โ you mumble, even though heโs very clearly unconscious and not helping at all.
Useless. You hook one of his arms over your shoulder, wrapping your arm around his waist to keep him upright. Orโฆ attempt to. The moment you try to move, his full weight drops into you again.
โโoh my god youโre HEAVYโโ
You stumble forward, nearly dragging both of you to the ground. Great. Perfect. This is how you die. Crushed under a random hot stranger in an alley. You pause, breathing hard already, adjusting your stance.
โDid you eat bricks or somethingโฆ?โ
No response. Obviously. You shift again, lifting him properly this time, forcing yourself to stand straight.
โOkay. We walk. Slowly. No dying. No collapsing. Weโre both surviving this.โ
One step. Then another. And wow. This is hell. Youโre half-dragging, half-carrying him down the street, your snack bag awkwardly hooked onto your wrist, hitting your leg with every step like itโs mocking you. Your pace is slow. Painfully slow. Every few seconds you have to stop and readjust because he keeps slipping.
โStay UPโpleaseโjust pretend you have bonesโโ
You huff, pushing his weight higher on your shoulder. Your arms are already starting to ache. Your back? Screaming.
โYeahโฆ I really need to start working out. This is embarrassing.โ
The walk to your apartment has never felt this long in your life. Itโs literally a few minutes away. A few. And yet here you are, fighting for your life like youโre climbing a mountain. You pause near the corner, slightly bent forward under his weight, trying to catch your breath.
โOkayโฆ okayโฆ weโre almost there. You better appreciate this when you wake up.โ
He does not, in fact, appreciate anything. Because he is still unconscious. Rude. You glance around quickly. Still clear. Good. You keep moving, steps uneven but determined, until your building finally comes into view.
โOh thank godโโ
You almost cry. At this point, you donโt even care if someone sees you. You just need to get inside. You fumble with your keys the moment you reach the door, your hands shaking slightly from exhaustion.
โWhy is this suddenly so hardโโ
The key slips. Of course it does. โGreat. Love that.โ
You adjust him again with a frustrated groan, pressing him against your side just enough so you can use both hands. Second try. The key slides in. You unlock the door, push it open with your foot, and basically drag both of you inside. The second the door shuts behind youโ
You stop. Still. Silent. Safe. You let out a long, shaky breath. โโฆOkay.โ
You donโt even make it far. You somehow get him to your roomโhonestly, you donโt even remember howโand the moment you reach your bed, you justโDrop him. Not aggressively. Justโฆ no more strength left. He lands on the mattress, body sinking into it as you immediately stumble back. You stand there for a second. Hands on your knees. Breathing like you just ran a marathon.
โโฆwhat the hell did I just do.โ
Your chest rises and falls rapidly as you try to process everything. You went out to buy snacks. Thatโs it. That was the plan. And now thereโs an unconscious man on your bed. A very attractive, very questionable-life-decision man.
โโฆI actually look like a kidnapper right now.โ You straighten slightly, running a hand through your hair, still trying to catch your breath.
โWow. If anyone walks in right now, Iโm done. Jail. Immediately.โ You glance at him again. Really look this time. Messy red hair. Sharp features. Even in this state, he looksโฆ unreal. Familiar too. But your brainโs too tired to connect anything right now.
โYeahโฆ no. Weโll deal with that later.โ You sigh, stepping closer to the bed. โOkayโฆ letโs see if youโre at least not dying.โ
You crouch beside him, hesitating for a second before reaching out. Your fingers hover near his foreheadโฆ then lightly touch. Still burning. โYeah, no, thatโs not normal.โ
You frown, standing up immediately and heading to the kitchen. Water. Cloth. Basic survival instincts kicking in. You come back quickly, sitting on the edge of the bed as you gently press the damp cloth against his forehead. He shifts slightly at the contact, brows furrowing faintly.
โYeah, yeah, I know. Not fun,โ you mumble softly. You adjust it carefully, your movements slower now. Gentler. His breathing is still uneven, but a little less harsh than before. You notice how tense he looks. Even unconscious. Like his body hasnโt realized itโs safe yet. Your hand moves without thinking, brushing a few strands of hair away from his face. You pause.
โโฆyouโre gonna owe me for this.โ Thereโs no response. Of course not. Stillโฆ you donโt pull your hand away immediately. The room is quiet. Too quiet compared to everything that just happened. You lean back slightly, sitting beside him, exhaustion finally catching up to you. Your body aches. Your head feels heavy. And yetโyou canโt really relax. Your eyes drift back to him again. Still unconscious. Still in your bed. Still a complete stranger.
โโฆyou better not wake up and be a serial killer,โ you mutter under your breath. A small pause. โโฆbecause I did not carry you all the way here for that.โ
You let out a quiet breath, resting your head against the wall behind you. For a moment, everything feels still. ThenโA slight movement. You glance back. His fingers twitch faintly. His breathing shifts. Like heโs on the edge of waking up. You straighten slightly without realizing it.
โโฆoh.โ And just like thatโYour peaceful night Officially over.
Heeseung's phone was going off like a time bomb beside his semi-conscious self and you were contemplating whether to check it or let it be. The incessant buzzing had been going on for what felt like hours, each notification making the poor guy beside you twitch in his sleep.
You had made the executive decision to not touch his phone. Obviously. You weren't some creep who went through people's shit while they were passed out. So you just sat there, on the floor of your tiny apartment, watching this stranger sleep on your bed, wondering what fresh hell you had stumbled into.
Heeseung slowly wakes up, registering his unfamiliar surroundings and also an unfamiliar figure sitting in front of him, watching him with curious eyes. His eyes fluttered open, heavy and confused. He squinted, trying to focus, and when he finally did, they widened in pure panic.
He panics, of course. Hostile because he doesn't know you. He sits up fast, in alarm, nearly giving himself whiplash. His eyes were wandering around the room, wild and frantic, trying to piece together where the hell he was. The wet cloth on his forehead drops in his lap with a soft plop. His head was throbbing, a dull, persistent ache that made his vision swim.
"Who are you? Where am I?" His voice was raspy, laced with suspicion.
You filling him in while slowly trying to calm him down. "Hey, hey, relax. You're safe. You're in my apartment. You... uh... you kind of collapsed on me a few hours ago?" You said it like a question, because this whole situation was still so surreal to you too.
Heeseung just stared, his breathing still a little too fast. He was running a hand through his hair, and that's when the memories came flooding back. The chase, the girls, the alley, and then... you. He let out a resigned sigh, his shoulders slumping in defeat. He looked up at you, his expression guarded.
"What do you want from me? Now that you 'saved' me from those saesangs." His tone had a bite to it, sharp and cynical, as if he couldn't trust you as far as he could throw you.
You got offended, not knowing he has a reason for being like this. Like his idol life isn't exactly rainbows and sunshines, not that you know that.
"Excuse me?" You say in disbelief, your own temper flaring up. "What do I want? How about a 'thank you' for not leaving your ass to get mauled by a pack of rabid fangirls?"
Then you start ranting to him on how you just wanted a lazy night with your snacks but ended up being a caretaker. "I was having a perfectly good night, okay? A sacred night. My one night off from corporate slavery. I had my ramen, I had my dumb reality shows lined up, and then you happened. Literally ran into me. And now I'm here, playing nurse to some ungrateful stranger who's probably going to get me sued or something. So yeah, excuse me for having basic human decency."
He also snapped that you didn't have to bother with him. He was just frustrated. No, not at you but at the whole situation. Poor man just wanted to get some fresh air, not have his privacy wrecked. Even at the HQ, he was in hot waters with his company. Not that you know any of that, again. You don't even know him.
"I didn't ask you to 'bother' with me!" He shot back, his voice rising. "You could have just walked away! I would have been fine!"
"Hello!?" You were on your feet now, hands on your hips. "You ungrateful human, I have basic humanity and I couldn't just leave you there to die!? You were literally burning up!"
He softened at that, the fight draining out of him. He looked away, his jaw tight. "Sorry," he mumbled, back to being his soft-spoken persona. "I... thank you. For helping me."
Then he went silent and remembering how he ended up like this in the first place.
The poor male was out to get some fresh air in the evening, after being stressed and not feeling quite fine. The air in the dorm had been thick with tension, the same old suffocating feeling that had been lingering for months. He and his members were at their breaking point, treated like fucking slaves by their own company. They were overworked, underappreciated, and Heeseung's solo debut? The one he'd poured his heart and soul into, the one he'd been promised for two years now? It was being shelved. Again. 'The timing isn't right,' they'd said. 'Focus on the group comeback.'
So he'd left. Just for a bit. To breathe. To feel like a person and not a product. But then he got mobbed by saesangs, their faces a twisted mask of obsession. He started running, his lungs burning, his head spinning, and then you saving him. Him falling unconscious, the last thing he remembered being the shock of your apartment's cool air and the softness of your couch as everything went black.
He reminds everything in his mind while you just admire his pretty eyes and face. God, he was even more attractive when he was all broody and vulnerable. His eyes, a deep, dark brown that seemed to hold a universe of sadness, were framed by long lashes. His jaw was sharp, his lips plush even when they were set in a firm line. It was unfair, really.
You broke out of your trance when he clears his throat, and you want the ground to open up and swallow you before you die from embarrassment. You whipped your face to the other side at the speed of lightning, your cheeks burning.
"Right," he said, a small, almost amused smile playing on his lips. "Water?"
"Yeah. Water. Good." You practically fled to the kitchen, your heart hammering against your ribs. This was fine. Everything was fine. You were just harboring a ridiculously handsome, possibly famous, definitely traumatized stranger in your home. No big deal.
you come back with water, medicine, and soup to take medicine. And sat it in front of him on a tray on the bed. The little tray looked ridiculously domestic sitting on your coffee table, a stark contrast to the chaos of the last few hours.
He clearly had not expected that hospitality and now he felt even more embarrassed for lashing out earlier. His eyes softened as he looked at the simple meal, a flush creeping up his neck. He quietly thanked you, his voice barely a whisper, and did what you told him, taking the pills with a grimace and then slowly sipping the soup.
After finishing taking medicine, you tell him that his phone was going off for a while now. "Your phone, by the way. It's been having a seizure. I think it's important."
He should check it and he did and cursed softly under his breath before quickly dialing someone and not even a sec the phone got picked and he heard a very exasperated yet worried loud voice asking him where the hell he is, it's close to midnight now. "Where the hell are you, Heeseung!? Do you have any idea what time it is? We've been calling you for hours! The manager is about to have an aneurysm!"
Heeseung briefly looked at you, a flicker of apology in his eyes, before turning away and filling the other person about what happened to him, who you got to know was someone named Jay. He kept it vague, just mentioned getting cornered and needing to hide, and that a stranger had helped him.
Then Heeseung asked you if it was fine to tell your address so that his friend can come and pick him up. He covered the receiver with his hand. "Is it... is it okay if I tell my friend where I am? He can come get me. He won't cause any trouble."
You nodded, rattling off your address before he went back to the call. After a few minutes of being reprimanded by someone younger than him, he cut the call with a weary sigh, looking like he'd just aged ten years.
There was an awkward moment of heavy silence between you before you broke it by asking him a question. "Who are you, if you don't mind telling me? Are you like an idol or something? Well if yes, that would explain why you were being chased by those people like rabid animals."
Heeseung laughed at that, a real, genuine laugh that made his eyes crinkle at the corners. "Rabid animals... that's one way to put it." He slowly confirmed your statement, introducing himself. "I'm Heeseung. From Enhypen." He looked at you, his expression suddenly serious, almost pleading. "But... you can't tell anyone. Please. You have to keep it a secret."
You felt bad for him. You felt like you needed to explain yourself that you are not that kind of person who ruins other people's lives for fun or whatever. "Oh my god, of course not! I would never! I'm not like that, I swear. I don't even follow celebrity news, I barely have time to follow my own life, let alone someone else's. I just work and come home and eat snacks and that's my whole personality. I promise I'm not some psycho fan who's going to sell your story to the highest bidder or post your location online. I value my peace and quiet too much for that kind of drama, you know? And I justโ"
You kept yapping, thinking you are doing a good job explaining yourself and Heeseung was listening to you in amusement. A small smile was playing on his lips, his head tilted slightly as he watched you gesture wildly. But when he realized you would talk his ear off, he didn't know what came over him.
He stopped you talking by clasping your lips shut by his index and thumb, a low sound escaping him akin to a laugh. Your eyes went wide, your words dying instantly against his warm fingers.
"You talk too much," he said, his voice soft but firm. "I get it. You're a good person. I trust you... for now." He let his hand fall away, his touch lingering for a second too long.
Your cheeks were on fire. You opened your mouth, then closed it, completely at a loss for words for the first time all night.
He chuckled again, a little shyly this time. "Sorry. It was the only way I could think of to stop you."
The doorbell rang, startling you both. It was a sharp, insistent buzz that cut through the weird, charged silence that had fallen between you.
"That'll be Jay," Heeseung said, already trying to get up. He swayed on his feet, and you rushed forward to steady him, your hands landing on his arm. His skin was still warm, and you could feel the lean muscle beneath his shirt.
"Easy there," you murmured. "You're not exactly ready for a marathon."
He leaned into you just a little, his head bowing. "Right. Thanks."
You helped him to the door, your heart doing a weird little fluttery thing every time your hands brushed against him. When you opened it, a guy with piercing eyes and a face full of worry was standing there, his relief so palpable it was almost comical.
"Heeseung!" he said, his eyes scanning him from head to toe. "You idiot. Are you okay?"
"Fine, Jay. Just... tired," Heeseung mumbled.
Jay's gaze then shifted to you, and he gave you a polite but wary nod. "Thank you. For helping him. I'm Jay, by the way. His... handler, I guess."
You just waved a hand, feeling awkward. "No problem. He was just... here."
There was another awkward silence as Jay helped Heeseung, who was still looking a bit unsteady. Heeseung turned back to you at the doorway, his expression unreadable.
"Hey," he said, his voice low. "I really don't know how to thank you. For... everything."
"You don't have to," you said, trying to sound casual. "Just... get some rest, yeah? And maybe don't go for late-night strolls in dark alleys anymore."
He smiled, a small, tired smile. "I'll try."
And then they were gone, swallowed by the dimly lit hallway, leaving you standing in your doorway, the silence of your apartment rushing back in. You closed the door, leaning against it for a second, your mind replaying the whole bizarre night.
Your eyes fell on the coffee table. The soup bowl, the empty water glass, the damp washcloth. It was all evidence of a night that was supposed to be lazy and uneventful, a night that had instead been hijacked by a beautiful, wounded stranger.
You sighed, a long, drawn-out sound. So much for your peaceful night. You had a feeling this was just the beginning of something way more complicated. And as much as you wanted to pretend otherwise, a tiny, reckless part of you was already looking forward to it.
The next few days were a strange, quiet blur. You went to work, came home, ate your snacks, and tried to forget the boy with the sad eyes who had invaded your life for a few chaotic hours. But you couldn't. You'd find yourself zoning out during meetings, his voice echoing in your head. 'I trust you... for now.' You'd catch yourself looking over your shoulder on the street, half-expecting to see a pack of rabid fangirls or maybe just him.
You even googled him. Just once. You typed "Enhypen Heeseung" into the search bar and immediately felt like a creep. The pictures that popped up were polished, professional, a world away from the exhausted, vulnerable guy who had collapsed on your bed. He looked like a different person, and it made your chest feel weirdly tight.
It was on the fourth night, a Friday, when your phone buzzed with an unknown number. You almost ignored it, assuming it was a spam call. But something, a stupid, hopeful little flutter in your stomach, made you pick up.
"Hello?"
"Uh... hi. Is this..." A familiar voice, hesitant and a little shaky. "Is this the girl with the ramen and the very strong opinions on basic humanity?"
Your breath hitched. "Heeseung?"
"Yeah," he let out a small, relieved sigh. "It's me. I hope it's okay that I... you know. Called. Jay got your number from the building's emergency contact list. I know that's probably weird and I'm sorry, I justโ"
"No, it's fine," you interrupted, sitting up straighter on your couch. "It's... fine. Are you okay? Did you get in trouble?"
"Define 'okay'," he said with a dry laugh. "I'm alive. The company freaked out, obviously. I'm on 'temporary leave' which is their nice way of saying they're locking me in the dorm until I stop being a 'liability'." He said the word with so much bitterness it made you wince. "But I'm... better. Thanks to you. And the soup."
You couldn't help but smile. "Glad my emergency ramen soup could be of service."
There was a pause, a comfortable sort of silence this time.
"Listen," he started, his voice lower. "I... I feel like I owe you. A proper thank you. And an apology for being a dick."
"You already apologized."
"Yeah, but that was the fever-induced, delirious apology. This is the... I've had time to reflect and realize I was an asshole to the one person who helped me apology."
"You're forgiven," you said softly. "Again."
"Good," he said, and you could hear the smile in his voice. "So... how do you feel about repaying my debt with coffee? Or... something that isn't in your apartment? My treat. Somewhere private. I know a place."
And that's how you found yourself, two days later, sitting in a ridiculously overpriced, yet strangely empty, cafe in a part of town you'd never been to. It was all velvet curtains and hushed lighting, the kind of place that screamed "celebrity hideout."
He showed up ten minutes late, looking nervous. He was wearing a mask and a beanie pulled low over his eyes, but you would have recognized him anywhere. It was the way he carried himself, the slight slump of his shoulders, the way his eyes scanned the room before they landed on you.
He slid into the booth across from you, pulling his mask down to his chin. "Hey."
"Hey," you replied, trying to act casual while your heart was doing a full-on drum solo against your ribs. "Nice digs. Very 'secret agent' of you."
He cracked a smile. "Perks of the job, I guess." He fidgeted with the sleeve of his hoodie. "Thanks for coming. I know this is weird."
"A little bit," you admitted. "But my life has been weirdly normal lately, so a little weird is probably good for me."
A barista came over, and Heeseung ordered for you both, his voice quiet and polite. When she left, he turned back to you, his expression serious.
"I really am sorry," he said, leaning forward. "For how I acted. I'm... not always like that. It's just... a lot. The company, the fans, the lack of privacy... sometimes it feels like I'm suffocating. And I took it out on you."
"I get it," you said, and you did. Even without knowing the full extent of it, you could see the weight he was carrying. "You were having a bad day. A really, really bad day."
"The worst," he agreed. "Until it wasn't."
You looked at him, really looked at him. In the soft light of the cafe, you could see the faint circles under his eyes, the tiredness that clung to him even now. But you also saw the way his eyes lit up when he smiled, the genuine warmth in his expression.
"So," you said, changing the subject. "What's it like? Being an idol? Is it all private jets and free clothes?"
He snorted. "It's all practice and diets and smiling when you feel like screaming. And the clothes aren't free, they just make you wear them. It's... not what it looks like from the outside."
You talked for hours. He told you about the relentless schedule, the pressure to be perfect, the way his solo debut kept getting pushed back. He didn't name names or spill any huge secrets, but he gave you a glimpse into the gilded cage he lived in. In return, you told him about your soul-crushing corporate job, your love of trashy reality TV, and your dream of one day opening a small, cozy bookstore where no one would bother you.
He listened to everything with an intensity that made you feel like you were the most interesting person in the world. He laughed at your jokes, asked follow-up questions, and didn't once check his phone.
When the cafe started to close, you both realized you'd been there for nearly five hours.
"Shit," he said, looking at his watch. "I should probably get back. Jay's probably having a panic attack."
"Right," you said, feeling a pang of disappointment. "Duty calls."
He walked you to the door, his hands shoved in his pockets. "I had a really good time," he said, sounding almost surprised. "I haven't... talked like that in a long time."
"Me neither," you admitted. "It was nice. Not being the caretaker for a change."
He laughed, that low, warm sound that you were quickly becoming addicted to. "Yeah. Sorry about that."
You were standing on the sidewalk now, the cool night air a stark contrast to the cozy warmth of the cafe.
"So..." he started, rocking back on his heels. "Can I... see you again?"
Your heart did a little flip. "I'd like that."
"Okay," he said, a genuine, hopeful smile spreading across his face. "Okay. I'll... I'll text you. From a different number. A secret one."
"A secret number," you repeated, grinning. "Very spy-like."
He laughed, pulling his mask back up. "It's the only way I know how to live." He hesitated for a second, then reached out and gently squeezed your arm. "Thank you. For today."
And then he was gone, melting back into the shadows of the city, leaving you standing on the sidewalk with a secret phone number and the feeling that your quiet, simple life had just been irrevocably, and thrillingly, complicated.
True to his word, a new number popped up on your phone two days later with a simple text: It's the spy.
Your life transformed into a series of stolen moments and secret conversations. Your days were still the same grind of spreadsheets and passive-aggressive emails, but your nights now belonged to him. He'd call you after he was done with practice, his voice thick with exhaustion, and you'd talk about nothing and everything until one of you fell asleep. You learned the names of his bandmates, his favorite brand of instant noodles, and his secret dream to compose music for a film. He learned about your annoying coworker, your childhood pet, and your irrational fear of butterflies.
It was a bubble, a secret world that existed only in the blue light of your phone screens. But bubbles, you were learning, were fragile.
It was three weeks into your secret friendship when your worlds collided. It happened in the most mundane, corporate-slavery way possible. Your company was hosting a small tech conference, and Enhypen, you learned with a jolt, was the surprise musical guest. The day of the event, you were assigned to help coordinate the AV setup for the main stage, which meant you were practically living backstage.
You were hunched over a laptop, trying to fix a connection issue with the projector, when a familiar voice cut through the chaos.
"I thought you said you worked in an office, not as a roadie."
You straightened up so fast you almost knocked over the laptop. There he was, in full idol mode. His hair was perfectly styled, his makeup was flawless, and he was wearing an outfit that probably cost more than your entire wardrobe. But behind the polished facade, you could see the same tired eyes you'd grown so fond of.
"Heeseung," you breathed, your eyes wide.
He just smirked, a little flip of his head to draw attention away from the two of you. "Fancy seeing you here. Having fun with all these... wires?"
"It's my cross to bear," you deadpan, trying to act cool while your heart was doing gymnastics. "You look... different."
"It's the makeup," he said, his voice low. "It hides the soul-crushing despair."
Just then, your colleague, Minho, appeared at your side, holding a clipboard. "Y/N, is the main feed connected to the aux? The sound guy is asking." He glanced at Heeseung, his eyes doing a quick, appreciative once-over before turning back to you, completely oblivious. "Who's this?"
"Uh, this is Heeseung. He's with the... talent," you stammered, feeling a weird pang of something you couldn't name.
"Oh, nice. Hey man, great set list," Minho said, clapping Heeseung on the shoulder in a friendly, bro-ish way. "Y/N's our tech guru. If anything blows up, she's your girl."
Heeseung's smile tightened almost imperceptibly. "Good to know. I'll keep that in mind."
Minho, bless his oblivious heart, just kept talking. "Seriously, Y/N, you're a lifesaver. I don't know what we'd do without you. Can you also check the monitors on stage two when you're done here? I'll buy you lunch for the next week."
You laughed, waving him off. "Yeah, yeah, I got it. Go away, I'm working."
As Minho walked away, you risked a glance at Heeseung. His jaw was set, his eyes fixed on the spot where Minho had been standing. There was a dark look in them that you hadn't seen before.
"What's up with you?" you asked, nudging him with your elbow.
"Nothing," he said, a little too quickly. "He just... seems very eager to buy you lunch."
"He's my colleague," you said, drawing out the word. "And he owes me. I saved his presentation from a digital black hole last month."
"Right," Heeseung mumbled, his gaze finally meeting yours. He looked away just as fast, his ears turning a faint shade of pink. "Colleague."
The rest of the day was a strange dance. You were busy, running around, making sure everything ran smoothly. But every time you looked up, you could feel his eyes on you. From the stage during soundcheck, from the corner of the green room as he sipped on a water bottle, from across the hall as he was being escorted by his manager. He was watching you.
And you were watching him back. You saw the way he interacted with his members, the easy camaraderie mixed with an undercurrent of exhaustion. You saw the way his smile never quite reached his eyes when he was talking to a sponsor. You saw the way he'd seek out a quiet corner, closing his eyes for just a second, like he was trying to recharge.
You were talking to Minho by the side of the stage, pointing something out on the set list, when you felt it again. That intense, unwavering gaze. You looked over and caught him staring. He didn't look away this time. He just held your gaze, his expression unreadable, before giving you a small, almost imperceptible nod.
A jolt went through you, hot and sharp. It felt like a secret, a silent conversation happening in the middle of all this noise and chaos.
Later, as you were packing up your gear, you felt a presence behind you. You didn't need to turn around.
"Rough day, spy?" you asked, not looking at him.
"You have no idea," he sighed, his voice close to your ear. "I think I smiled at three different people I hate."
"Welcome to my life," you said, finally turning to face him. He looked drained, the energy from the stage completely gone. "You were good up there, though. For what it's worth."
A small, genuine smile touched his lips. "Thanks."
There was a beat of silence, the sounds of the crew breaking down the stage filling the space between you.
"So," he started, his eyes flicking down to your lips for a second before meeting your gaze again. "That Minho guy..."
"Heeseung, don't," you warned, though you were secretly thrilled.
"I'm just saying," he said, holding his hands up in mock surrender. "He seems to really value your technical expertise."
"And you seem to be surprisingly possessive for someone I had to physically prop up four weeks ago," you shot back, raising an eyebrow.
He had the grace to look sheepish. "Right. Touchรฉ."
His manager called his name then, a sharp, urgent sound from across the room. The spell was broken.
"I have to go," he said, his expression falling.
"I know."
He hesitated, then leaned in close, his voice barely a whisper. "Can I see you tonight? After? I just... I need to not be Heeseung from Enhypen for a little while."
The vulnerability in his voice was your undoing. "Yeah," you said softly. "My place. The usual secret spy protocol."
He smiled, a real one this time, that reached his eyes. "I'll be there."
And as he walked away, you couldn't help but feel like you were in way over your head. But for the first time in a long time, you didn't mind the feeling of drowning. Not if it was with him.
The knock on your door came at nearly 2 AM. It wasn't a hesitant knock, or a secret spy knock. It was a tired, heavy thud, like the person on the other side had used their forehead to announce their arrival.
You opened it to find Heeseung slumped against your doorframe, still in his expensive idol clothes, but looking utterly deflated. The perfect hair was a mess, the liner around his eyes was smudged, and he was holding his shoes in one hand like they'd personally offended him.
He looked up, and when his eyes met yours, a slow, lazy smile spread across his face. It was the kind of smile that didn't perform, didn't pose. It was just... real. And it was so genuine it made your chest ache.
"Spy headquarters," he mumbled, his voice raspy. "I've arrived. Mission decompression is a go."
You just shook your head, grabbing his arm and pulling him inside. "You're an idiot."
"A tired idiot," he corrected, kicking his shoes off with a groan and immediately flopping face-down onto your couch like a starfish. "God, I love your couch. It's so... normal. It doesn't expect me to be charming."
You laughed, disappearing into the kitchen and coming back with two glasses of water and a box of the strawberry Pocky you kept hidden in the back of your pantry. You set them on the coffee table and nudged his shoulder.
"Up. You'll get a crick in your neck."
He groaned but obligingly rolled over, propping himself up on his elbows. He looked at the Pocky, then at you, his eyes wide with a childish sort of glee. "Is that what I think it is?"
"It's fuel for the decompression mission," you said, sitting down cross-legged on the floor opposite him. "Now, debrief. What was the worst part?"
He sat up, grabbing a stick and munching on it thoughtfully. "The sponsor's son. He tried to give me 'production notes' on my own stage presence. He suggested I 'work on my facial expressions.'"
You gasped in mock horror. "The audacity! Everyone knows your facial expressions are peak art."
"Right?!" he exclaimed, pointing the Pocky stick at you like it was a sword. "I almost told him my 'facial expression' was about to become 'bored to tears by a trust fund baby.' But my manager was giving me the look. You know, the one that says 'smile or we're all fired'."
You both dissolved into giggles, the kind of tired, slightly hysterical laughter that comes from being completely over everything. It was easy. It was so, so easy.
As the laughter died down, the atmosphere shifted. The crack energy subsided, replaced by a thick, charged silence. He was watching you, his head tilted, a soft smile still playing on his lips. He reached out, his fingers gently brushing a stray strand of hair away from your face. His touch was feather-light, but it sent a jolt straight through you.
"Thanks," he said, his voice low and soft. "For this. For... you."
Your breath caught. His eyes were so dark, so sincere, and you felt like you could drown in them. You wanted to say something witty, something to break the tension, but the words wouldn't come. All you could do was stare back at him, your heart hammering against your ribs.
He leaned in a little closer, his hand lingering on your cheek, his thumb stroking your skin slowly. The air between you was thick with unspoken feelings, a silent acknowledgment of everything that had been building between you for weeks.
"You know," he whispered, his gaze dropping to your lips. "I was really jealous today. Of your colleague."
"Minho?" you breathed, your voice barely audible. "He's justโ"
"I know," he interrupted gently. "But he got to stand next to you. He got to talk to you. And all I could do was watch from a stage."
Your heart was doing a full-on tap dance routine against your ribs. "Heeseung..."
"Shh," he murmured, leaning in even closer, until his lips were just a breath away from yours. "Let me have this."
And then he kissed you.
It wasn't a frantic, desperate kiss. It was slow and soft, impossibly gentle. It tasted of strawberry Pocky and exhaustion and relief. It was a kiss that said, 'I see you' and 'I need you' and 'Thank you for being my safe place.'
His other hand came up to cup the back of your neck, his fingers tangling in your hair, holding you close like he was afraid you might disappear. You kissed him back, your hands finding their way to his shoulders, clinging to him like he was the only solid thing in a world that was spinning too fast.
When you finally pulled apart, you were both breathless. He rested his forehead against yours, his eyes closed, a contented sigh escaping his lips.
"Wow," he whispered, a slow, happy grin spreading across his face. "That was... way better than Pocky."
You let out a watery laugh, swatting his arm playfully. "You're such a dork."
"Your dork," he corrected, opening his eyes and looking at you with so much warmth and affection it made your heart feel like it was going to explode. He leaned in and pecked your nose, then your cheek, then the corner of your mouth. Each touch was a little spark, a little promise.
You spent the rest of the night like that, tangled up on your couch, talking in whispers and sharing soft, sweet kisses. You told him about your ridiculous dream of opening a bookstore with a cat named Chairman Meow, and he told you about the song he was writing, a melody he'd been humming to himself for weeks but couldn't get right.
You fell asleep curled up against him, his heartbeat a steady, reassuring rhythm beneath your ear. And in the quiet darkness of your little apartment, with the world shut firmly outside, you both found something you hadn't even realized you were looking for.
A safe harbor. A home. A ridiculously, tooth-rottingly sweet beginning. Or that is what you thought.
He did not clarify what you guys were. It was vague. The morning after, he was gone before you woke up, leaving behind a half-empty box of Pocky and a note written on the back of a receipt that just said, Dear Miss Caretaker, I owe you. H. It was sweet, it was thrilling, but it wasn't a definition. And you, being the overthinker you were, were left to fill in the blanks yourself.
For a week, it felt like a dream. The stolen texts, the late-night calls that ended with him whispering "goodnight" until his voice was thick with sleep. It was your own private romance, a bubble of soft words and lingering touches that existed only for the two of you.
And then he had to leave.
It's been a month since he had to travel overseas for some music videos and album shootings. The bubble burst. At first, the texts were frequent, filled with exhaustion and excitement. "The scenery here is insane." "I think I've smiled for 12 hours straight. My face is frozen." "I miss your couch."
But as the days turned into weeks, the messages became shorter, more sporadic. A quick "good morning" sent while you were asleep, a single emoji in response to your long rant about your boss. You understood, you really did. You saw it all, whether you wanted to or not.
Your social media feeds, once a harmless escape, were now a constant, painful reminder of his world. You actually got to see how his life was, and it was dazzling. There were professionally shot photos of him in designer clothes, looking like a god against foreign landscapes. Fan-cams from airports showed him surrounded by a sea of screaming people, his smile perfectly in place even as he was being jostled and mobbed. There were clips of him on variety shows, laughing with his members, charming the hosts, being the Heeseung the world adored.
And you were getting all sorts of thoughts. You were just a girl in a small apartment with a dead-end job. He was living in a different universe, a universe of private jets and screaming stadiums. How could you ever fit into that? You'd be a liability, a loose end. A secret he'd have to manage.
You weren't sure if you were ready to step into his world yet. The thought of it was terrifying. You'd seen the saesangs, the obsessive fans. You'd heard the exhaustion in his voice when he talked about his company. To be with him would mean stepping into the line of fire, and you weren't sure you were brave enough for that.
What if he is just using you for taking a space outside of his hectic life? The thought crept in, insidious and cold. What if you were just his safe place, his normal-person pit stop? A place to decompress before he went back to his real life, his real world, where you had no place. What if when the novelty of your 'normalcy' wore off, he'd just... drift away?
The fall out happened on a Tuesday. You were having a particularly bad day at work, your boss had rejected your proposal for the third time, and all you wanted was to hear his voice. You sent him a text, a longer one than usual, pouring out your frustration. I just had the worst day. I really miss talking to you. Hope you're doing okay.
You stared at your phone for hours, waiting. And then, six hours later, a reply came. It was just a single, sad-faced emoji. ๐.
That was it.
Something inside you broke. It was the final confirmation of all your worst fears. You were an afterthought. A quick emoji sent between photoshoots and schedules.
Fall out.
That night, you turned off your phone. You didn't text him goodnight. You let the silence you had been dreading finally take over. For two days, you ignored his calls and texts, letting them pile up, unseen. You were giving yourself a trial run. What would it feel like when he was gone for good? It felt hollow. It felt quiet. It felt like you were already mourning a loss that hadn't even happened yet.
On the third day, he called again. And again. And then, a text came through that made your stomach drop. I'm worried. Please just tell me you're okay.
You couldn't do it. You couldn't leave him worrying. You picked up the phone on his next call, your heart heavy.
"Hello?"
"Y/N?" His voice was strained, frantic with relief. "God, are you okay? I've been going out of my mind here. I thought something happened."
"I'm fine," you said, your voice flat. "I was just busy."
There was a beat of silence on the other end. He knew you were lying.
"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice softer now. "Did I do something?"
You took a deep breath, the words tasting like ash in your mouth. "Heeseung... what are we doing?"
"What do you mean?"
"This," you said, gesturing uselessly even though he couldn't see you. "This... whatever this is. The secret texts, the late-night calls... what is it? Because I don't think I can do it anymore."
"What? Why? I thought... I thought we were good," he said, his voice laced with confusion and hurt.
"We were," you admitted, your voice cracking. "But I can't be your little escape, Heeseung. I can't be the person you come to when you're tired of being famous, and then just forget about me when you're back in your world. I see it, you know. On my phone. I see your life. And I... I don't fit in it. And I'm scared that I'm just... a convenience for you."
The silence on his end was deafening. You could hear the faint sound of traffic, of his world happening without you.
"Is that really what you think of me?" he finally said, his voice quiet, broken. "That I'm just using you?"
"I don't know what to think," you whispered, tears welling up in your eyes. "You never told me what I am to you."
Another long silence. You could hear him take a shaky breath.
"You're not a convenience," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "You're the only thing that feels real. When I'm with you, I'm not Heeseung from Enhypen. I'm just... me. I'm sorry if I made you feel otherwise. I'm just... I'm so tired all the time, and I'm not good at this. At any of this."
You wanted to believe him. God, you wanted to. But the doubt was a poison that had already spread through your veins.
"I need some time," you said, the words feeling final. "I need to think."
"Please don'tโ"
"I'm sorry," you cut him off, your voice trembling. "I have to go."
And before he could say anything else, you hung up the phone, leaving him alone in his dazzling world, and you alone in your quiet, empty one. The silence that followed was the loudest thing you had ever heard.
Your days passed in heavy silence and realizations as you realized what you did to him due to your insecurity and fear. You felt responsible for snatching the only thing that was an escape for him. But you didn't know how to approach him. You really missed him.
You heard he was coming back to Korea soon. The news, filtered through fan sites and social media, felt like a countdown timer to a disaster you had created. You still have not been able to confront him properly because you are a coward. Every time you picked up your phone to type an apology, your fingers would freeze, the words feeling inadequate, pathetic. "Sorry I ruined the one good thing you had going because I'm a neurotic mess"? Yeah, right.
What you had not expected was for him to storm straight from the airport to your house.
The frantic, insistent knocking was what jolted you from your miserable spiral on the couch. It wasn't the polite knock of a neighbor or the hesitant rap of a delivery person. It was desperate. Loud. Pounding.
When you opened the door, he was looking like he had ran a marathon to here. Panting and huffing.
He was disheveled, like he had run a marathon to get here. His beanie was almost coming off his head, his now cherry red hair peeking out from beneath it. His mask was shrinking and puffing with his heavy breaths as he panted, his hands resting on his knees, half-crouched. But his eyes... his bambi eyes were up at you, sparkling with an intensity that stole the air from your lungs.
What was he doing here? Wasn't he in another country just until yesterday? Did my manifestation actually come true?
You snapped out of your trance when he cleared his throat and stood up properly. The reality of the situation crashed down on youโhe was out there, in the open, where anyone could recognize him. You grabbed his hand and pulled him inside, slamming the door shut behind him with a decisive click.
The moment he was past the threshold, You launched yourself at him. His duffle bag dropped beside his leg as you engulfed him in a bear hug, burying your face in his neck. God, I missed him so much. It had been weeks.
You heard his soft chuckle as one hand came up to support you, sliding under your bottom to hold you effortlessly. You nuzzled deeper into his neck, inhaling his familiar scentโclean laundry, something faintly citrusy, and underneath it all, just him. Your arms tightened around him. You knew you would be embarrassed as hell after this was over, but that could wait. You felt him remove his mask, and then came his soft voice, warm against your ear.
"Hi," he breathed, the sound vibrating through his chest and into yours. "Missed you, too."
You pulled back just enough to look at him, your hands still wrapped tightly around his neck. His face was flushed from the run, his lips parted as he caught his breath, but his eyes... they were locked on yours, soft and unwavering.
"What are you doing here?" you whispered, your voice trembling. "You're insane. Someone could have seen you."
"I don't care," he said, his voice firm. He shifted, adjusting his hold on you so you were cradled properly in his arms. "I had to see you. After that call... I couldn't... I couldn't just land and go back to the dorms and pretend like everything was okay."
Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes. "Heeseung, I'm so sorry. I was an idiot. I was scared and I took it out on you andโ"
"Hey," he interrupted gently, using one hand to cup your cheek, his thumb wiping away a tear you hadn't realized had fallen. "It's okay. I get it. I do. It's a lot. I'm a lot. And I'm sorry for being a shitty communicator. I should have told you... everything."
He carefully set you down, his hands lingering on your waist as if he was afraid you might disappear. He took your hand and led you to the couch, sitting you down before plopping down beside you, letting out a long, weary sigh.
"You're not an escape," he said, turning to face you, his expression earnest, his eyes pleading with you to believe him. "You're not a convenience. You're the person I think about when I'm smiling for a camera I don't want to see. You're the voice I wish I could hear when my ears are ringing from the screaming. You're the quiet place I go to in my head when it all gets too loud."
Your heart hammered against your ribs, his words a balm to all the insecure wounds you had inflicted on yourself.
"I'm an idiot," he continued, running a hand through his messy red hair. "I thought you knew. I thought you could just... feel it. But I should have said it. So I'm saying it now. I need you. Not as a break from my life. You are my life. The only part that feels like mine anymore."
You couldn't speak. You just stared at him, tears now streaming freely down your face.
He leaned in, his forehead resting against yours. "So, please," he whispered, his voice cracking. "Don't push me away again. I don't think I can take it."
And then he was kissing you. It wasn't soft or gentle like the first time. It was desperate, hungry, a month of silence and longing poured into a single, breathless moment. It was a kiss that said, 'I'm here' and 'I'm not leaving' and 'Please, please, please want me back.'
You kissed him back with everything you had, your hands tangling in his hair, your body pressed against his, trying to close every inch of distance between you. You poured all your apologies, all your regret, all your desperate love into that kiss.
When you finally broke apart, you were both gasping for air, your foreheads still pressed together. He was looking at you with such raw, unguarded affection, it made your chest ache.
"I'm sorry," you whispered, your voice thick with emotion.
"Me too," he murmured, kissing the tip of your nose. "Now, about that 'coward' comment..."
You groaned, burying your face in his chest. "I take it back! I take it back!"
He laughed, a real, genuine, rumbling laugh that you could feel vibrating through his entire body. He held you tight, his chin resting on top of your head.
"Good," he said, his voice soft and content. "Because I have a feeling I'm going to need my brave girl around for a while."
You smiled against his shirt, feeling the last of your fears and insecurities melt away, replaced by the overwhelming, tooth-rottingly sweet certainty that you were exactly where you were supposed to be.
You looked up at him with such heart eyes, caressing his jaw tenderly before leaning towards him to place a gentle kiss on his neck, making him flustered and red before giggling and confessing. "I love you Lee Heeseung. Will you do me the honour of being your girlfriend?"
The air in the room seemed to shimmer, hanging suspended in the quiet afterglow of your confession. He stared at you, his eyes wide and shimmering with unshed tears, his hand coming up to cover yours where it rested on his jaw. He looked like he was going to cry, but then he smiled, and it was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen.
"I love you," he repeated softly, his voice barely a whisper. "And yes. A thousand times yes. I love you, my love."
You felt him pull you closer on his lap before placing sweet pecks on your, forehead, cheeks, eyes, nose, jaw and then lastly your lips. It was a worshipful kind of affection, a reassurance of his devotion. When he finally pulled back to look at you, his eyes were dark with something that made your breath hitch.
"Of course," he whispered, his voice husky and deep. "Though it should have been me asking you to do me the honour of being my boyfriend "
You giggled against him and hugged him, burying your face in his neck. "I love you, my patient turned boyfriend."
Heeseung mused, hugging you tighter. "Yeah. You really are my girlfriend now. My own personal, secret caretaker girlfriend."
The conversation shifted, moving to lighter topics, but the underlying current of love and relief was palpable. He told you about the flight back, how the scenery had been incredible, and you told him about your failed attempt at a romantic dinner that had been ruined by a power outage. He laughed, a low, rumbling sound that vibrated through your chest, and you felt a sense of peace settle over you.
And then, as if on cue, the atmosphere changed. The playful banter faded into a heavy, charged silence. Heeseung looked at you, his eyes dark and intense, and you knew what was coming. He didn't need words. He captured your lips in a searing kiss, his hands tangling in your hair, pulling you impossibly close.
The kiss was desperate, hungry, a culmination of weeks of longing and a month of distance. It quickly escalated. His hands roamed over your body, his touch electric and demanding. You moaned into the kiss, and he deepened it, his tongue sweeping against yours in a dance that left you dizzy. He broke the kiss only to trail hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck, his teeth grazing your sensitive skin. You arched your back, a soft gasp escaping your lips.
He lifted you effortlessly, carrying you to your bedroom. The world blurred as he set you down on the bed, his eyes never leaving yours. He hovered over you, his hands exploring your curves, his touch hungry and possessive. He leaned down, his lips meeting yours in a bruising kiss, his hands moving to your waist, pulling you up to meet him.
He was breathing a little harder now, the sight of you sprawled out against the pillows, looking so soft and inviting, driving him out of his mind. To him, you are like a dream. The prettiest girl he have ever seen.
He captured your lips, but this kiss was differentโsofter, slower, exploring the familiar yet thrilling new territory of being your boyfriend. His hands wandered, sliding up your sides with a reverent touch, his fingers tracing the line of your spine until he found the hem of your shirt. He didn't rush. He just lifted it, his eyes never leaving yours, drinking in the sight of you, the way your chest rose and fell with a shaky breath.
"God, you're beautiful," he whispered, his voice husky and thick with want. He kissed the valley between your breasts, his tongue tracing a path upward, making you gasp and arch your back. You tugged at his hoodie, desperate for skin, desperate to feel his touch everywhere. He pulled it over his head, tossing it to the floor, and his bare chest pressed against yours, skin to skin, the heat between you searing.
He pushed you back against the pillows, his body covering yours, his eyes hungry. "I need you," he breathed, his lips brushing against your ear. "I need to be inside you."
He slid your shorts and panties down, his hands on your hips, pulling you closer. He kissed his way down your neck, his teeth grazing your skin, sending shivers down your spine. You moaned softly, your hands tangling in his hair. He moved between your open legs, his hand sliding over you, finding you wet and ready for him. He positioned himself at your entrance after freeing his hard cock, his eyes locked on yours.
"Ready?" he asked, his voice trembling slightly.
You nodded, pulling him down for a deep, searing kiss. He pushed in slowly, inch by inch, stretching you, filling you completely. It was a slow, agonizing pleasure that made you gasp and cling to his shoulders. He began to move, his strokes deep and purposeful, hitting every sweet spot that made you cry out his name.
"You feel so good," he groaned, his forehead resting on yours. "So perfect."
You ran your fingers down his back, scratching lightly, urging him on. He picked up the pace, his breath coming in ragged gasps, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room. The pleasure built, coiling deep in your belly, until you were both gasping for air, overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment.
Heeseung reached down, his hand between your legs, his fingers rubbing against your sensitive bundle of nerves. You cried out, your body arching, your orgasm crashing over you. He followed moments later, burying his face in your neck, groaning your name as he spilled inside you.
You lay there, panting, his body covering yours, your heart hammering against his. The room smelled of sex and sweat, the air thick with the lingering tension of the act. He pulled out, cleaning you up gently with a warm cloth and tucking you in. You cuddled up close, his body heat radiating into yours. He pulled you close, holding you tight.
Afterwards, the silence in the room was heavy, the air thick with the scent of love and sweat. He pulled you close, holding you tight, your head resting on his chest. You traced the lines on his shoulder, feeling his heartbeat against your palm.
"You know," he whispered, his voice muffled against your hair. "This is going to be so much harder. You know that, right? I'm not going to be able to hide you forever."
"I know," you whispered back, your heart fluttering. "We'll figure it out. We'll be a team."
He tightened his hug, his eyes closing. "Yeah. We'll figure it out."
You looked up at him, and he looked down at you. He smiled, a soft, smile that reached his eyes.
"The world outside can wait," he said, his voice soft and earnest. "We'll navigate through life problems together, side by side."
And then he leaned down and kissed you, a sweet, gentle kiss that was full of promise. "But I won't feel blue, Like I always do. 'Cause somewhere in the crowd, there's you."
Pairing: Park Jongseong (Jay) ร Female Reader ร Park Sunghoon
Synopsis: You, the new bride of three months and the youngest daughter-in-law in the wicked Park clan, who enjoys wealth and power, burn with the ambition to make your husband the family successor and become the head wife.
Marrying into the Park family was never about love aloneโit was about survival.
As Jayโs wife, your role was simple: be perfect, be silent, be useful.
And you were.
Until you met him.
Sunghoon.
The twin no one speaks of. The one who abandoned the family name for the clothโfor God, for purity, for salvation.
Yet the way he looks at you feels anything but holy.
What begins as quiet tension inside sacred walls spirals into something far more dangerousโsomething neither devotion nor vows can contain.
And in a house where everything is owned, controlled, and watchedโฆ
You slowly realizeโ
You were never meant to belong to just one.
The day before the โShin Rye-ye,โ a gathering that forbids marital relations to keep the body pure, your husbandโs twin brother slips between your legs.
โNot from behind. Please, young master.โ
โItโs a hole that makes me want to stick anything in it. You look like youโll get pregnant easily; you have the qualities of a head wife.โ
The beginning of a fatal relationshipโintertwined with family, taboo, and honor.
If any of these topics make you uncomfortable, do not read.
Playlist:
โReligionโ โ Lana Del Rey
โTake Me To Churchโ โ Hozier
โDo I Wanna Know?โ โ Arctic Monkeys
โDaddy Issuesโ โ The Neighbourhood
โHouse of Balloons / Glass Table Girlsโ โ The Weeknd
โControlโ โ Halsey
โDark Redโ โ Steve Lacy
โI Wanna Be Yoursโ โ Arctic Monkeys
โWest Coastโ โ Lana Del Rey
โGod & Monstersโ - Lana Del Rey
Authorโs Note: This oneshot is heavily inspired by the Korean manhwa โThe Twinโs Toywife.โ
The storyline follows a similar dark and psychological narrative, exploring complex and morally grey relationships.
All characters and settings have been reimagined in this version. This work is purely fictional and created for entertainment purposes only.
Please read responsibly.
When you first met Jay three years ago on a business trip to Daegu, the old you wouldn't have believed that you would be married to that very man now. Because you didnโt know that he was way out of your leagueโbut guess fate works in some strange ways, because why would someone like him fall for someone like you?
If you look closely, there are so many differences between you two, but Jay, bless his heart, doesnโt care about those. He once told you he planned to marry someone who would be his first love, because he planned to make it his last. And he didโhe married you.
Itโs been three months since your marriage, and he has been nothing but the gentleman he always was, if not more. But weโll have to wait and see if your feelings are on the same par as his.
He is gentle, attentive, and a real man. Wellโฆ always needy too. But thatโs not quite a problem for you, as you yourself are just as down bad as him. You two are what other people would like to call a โperfect couple.โ
But right now, your husband is literally testing the fuck out of you, and you are tired from the shitload of work at your workplace.
โCome on, honey~ we made a bet that whoever comes home late will have to do whatever the other wants for the entire weekend. And I won, so you have to keep your word.โ
Jay was whining like a baby to get you to suck him off. Yeahโฆ why did you make that stupid bet again?
You groaned, sitting on your toes on your shared bed in your silk night dress, glaring at your husband, who had the audacity to pout while being butt naked in front of you. The bet was actually that if one of you managed to leave your workplace on time without delay for a whole week, they would get the other to do anything they wanted for the entire weekend.
And itโs obvious who won.
Your husband.
He managed to come home on time the entire week while also doing all the household work, waiting for you like the ideal husband he is. Well, actually because he wanted to fuck youโbut whatever.
โCome on, I already let you off the hook three fucking times this week. Please, baby~โ
Itโs not that you donโt want to have sex with him. Itโs just that he is a fucking monster in bedโhe fucks the energy out of you, and the next day youโre like a walking zombie, trying to survive another hellhole called your office, with soreness between your legs and wincing every time you as much as take a step.
You thought that if you won, you would ban him from having sex for the entire weekend and finish your last report in peace. But that unfortunately didnโt happen, because your husband was dead set on winning.
โOkay, fine! But I wonโt agree to do anything besides that, and we will do it only once, Park Jay.โ
You said with firm resolve in your tone, and your husband smirked as if he knew nothing like what you said was going to happen anyway. Because you two are just like animals in heat.
โYeah, sure, whatever you say, darlinโ.โ
With that, he pulled you by your arm toward him and leaned down to place a sweet kiss on your lips. You reciprocated, enveloping your arms around the back of his nape, fingers curling in his hair as he pressed his erection against your stomach, pulling you slightly up.
Now you both were on your knees on the bed. The sheet was damp beneath you, a testament to how quickly the heat had built between you both. When Jay finally pulled away from your mouth, he didn't give you a moment to catch your breath. Instead, he grabbed your hair, tilting your head back just enough to expose the vulnerable curve of your neck. "You're soaking wet just from my mouth," he murmured, his voice low and rough. He bit down gently on the sensitive skin at the base of your throat, right over your pulse. "Good girl," he teased, but his tone wasn't gentle. It was a dark, command that sent a fresh wave of arousal through you.
He didn't let you sit up. He kept you on your knees, your body pressed against his as his hand slipped between your thighs. He was relentless, his fingers finding the exact spot that made you gasp and arch your back, leaving you trembling and desperate. "Look at you," he whispered, his other hand squeezing your breast firmly, his thumb rubbing over your nipple until it stood hard and aching. "You can barely stand it, can you?" he taunted, leaning in to whisper in your ear. "You're falling apart just because I touched you."
He could see the glassy look in your eyes, the way your lips were red and swollen from his kisses. He loved the way you looked when you were undone, when he was the only thing that mattered. "Now," he commanded, his hand tightening in your hair again. "Show me how much you want it."
Jay grabbed you by the hair and forced you to take him all the way in, his cock hitting the back of your throat. He kept you there, making you gag and choke on his length while he watched your eyes water. "That's it," he growled, his hips snapping forward. "Take it all. You're so good at this. God, you look so fucking beautiful with my cock in your mouth."
He could feel your tongue swirling around him, her lips tight as you sucked him. He grabbed your head, forcing you to take more and more, his fingers tangling in your hair. "You want it, don't you? You want me to fill you up?" he teased, his voice dripping with dominance. "I'm gonna cum so hard for you." He started thrusting harder and faster, his balls slapping against your chin. "Swallow it all, you little menace. Swallow my fucking load." He groaned as he emptied himself into your mouth, his body shuddering with pleasure.
Jay pulled your head back, his cock still in your mouth for a second before he let it pop out with a wet sound. Jay pulled you up by wrapping an arm around your waist, compailing you to meet his gaze. You wiped your mouth, your lips glistening with him, and glared at him. "Did you like that?" he asked, a smirk playing on his lips. "I told you to swallow, and you did. Now I know you're a good little cocksucker."
He leaned in and bit your neck, not hard enough to hurt, but just enough to make you gasp. He nuzzled his way to your lips before giving you a firm kiss, tasting himself on your lips. "I love watching you take it all in," he whispered, his hand squeezing you breast. "You're so wet and ready for me. I'm going to make you scream."
When the loud ringing of the phone interrupted your shenanigans, Jay grimaced, letting out a groan, but he ignored the phone, continuing his exploration of you. But you didnโt follow the same scriptโyou pushed him away gently when the phone rang again and told him to pick it up.
He poutedโฆ again, but grabbed the phone from the nightstand anyway, handing it to you, then coming behind you to back-hug you as you told him it was his mother who had called. He didnโt give two fucks, resting his cheek on your shoulder from behind as you rolled your eyes at his clingy ass before picking up the phone and being met with the irritated voice of your mother-in-law.
โWhere are you guys? What are you doing to be that busy that Jay canโt even pick up his call? Where is he? Why isnโt he picking up his phone?โ
You winced at her high-pitched voice and looked beside you at her son, who was busy making designs on your neck. You visibly rolled your eyes again. You swore one day your eyes were going to get stuck from how many times you rolled them in annoyance on a daily basis.
Before answering her, exasperated, โHe is home, Mother. I wonder too why he isnโt picking up his phoneโฆโ
She sighed, visibly disappointed in her son, before continuing. โAnyway, that aside, come down next weekโฆ now that youโre a member of our family, you need to learn how to prepare for the clan meeting and New Yearโs ceremony.โ
You were getting annoyed now, having Jay still stuck to you, his hands confidently wandering all over you, and his mother spitting out orders without considering that you are a functional adult with a seriously fucked-up work schedule, and you canโt just take any random day off to go visit her again. Not when youโre busy with the upcoming promotion to team leaderโฆ You have worked your ass off to get this positionโyou canโt just fumble it. But maybe you can spare a dayโฆ?
โIโm busy because itโs the end of the year, butโฆ Iโll try to make time on the weekend, including Friday.โ
โWhat kind of great company is it that you canโt take a few days off?โ
โPardon?โ
โYou donโt even earn muchโdo you think preparing for the clan meeting is like a game of house that can be finished in a day or two?โ
You bit your lips hard to not say anything rebellious against her, but she was seriously pissing the fuck out of you. She didnโt have the right to belittle you like this. You swallowed a big lump in your throat before apologizing.
โMotherโฆ Iโm sorry, butโฆ that has to be arranged in advance. I canโt just take vacation like thatโฆโ
You bit your lips to stifle the sound escaping as Jay bit your sensitive spot on your neck. You whisper-shouted at him.
โWhat are you doing? Iโm on the phone!โ
โWhat do you think~โ
You were going to kick his cocky ass after you were done with his mother.
โBe quiet or weโll get caught,โ he continued to whisper.
โHello, are you listening to me?โ Mrs. Parkโs voice was heard, and you focused on her again.
โYesโฆ Iโm listeningโฆ!โ
โWhy are kids these days so thoughtless?โ
Your eyes followed Jayโs hand disappearing inside your panties while his hot tongue licked your ear, and his left hand freed your breast from the confines of your fragile night dress, playing with your nipple.
โWe didnโt let you have a double income just for that.โ
Jayโs right hand mercilessly teased your wet cunt.
โMotherโฆ even soโฆ a week is too muchโฆ!โ
You visibly flinched, stuttering as Jay plunged his fingers deep inside you.
โStop talking back and take a week off and come down! You have to organize the New Yearโs ceremony too, understood?!โ
โM-Mother!โ
โJust do as youโre told. Kids these daysโฆ reallyโฆ tsk.โ
Your mother-in-law hung up the call and turned to face back when someone called her from behind.
โMother. Is that Hyung?โ
On the other hand, you stared at the screen of your phone displaying your mother-in-lawโs contact and sighed tiredly. Your head was seriously pounding from stress.
โSo, what did Mother say?โ Jay asked, his hands acting as if they had a mind of their ownโand they probably did when he splayed one hand below your breast and slipped his other hand under your knees to lay you on the bed, hovering over you.
โI meanโฆ mother-in-law. She told me that we need to get ready for the clan gathering. She told us to come down there next week.โ
You explained while resting your arm over your head, tense, while your husband licked your arousal off his hand, still listening to you.
โShe wants me to use a whole week of vacationโฆ does that even make sense?โ
Jay curled his fist around one of your breasts and leaned down to swirl his tongue around the other, sending a jolt through you.
โAhโฆ! Jayโฆ say somethingโฆ hrk!โ
You closed your eyes, your cheeks red as you bit your thumb while he looked at you with love and devotion, leaving your nipple with a pop and going down slowly.
โTh-That placeโฆ aughโฆ!โ
You hadnโt realized when he had taken off your underwearโprobably earlier. But now he was eating your bare cunt out with a dazed look, his tongue in between your folds, going up and down, your legs lifting in the air, shaking.
โWhy is mother-in-law acting like this? Is it because sheโs still notโฆ satisfied with me?โ
Jay wetted his middle and index fingers before plunging them into your cunt roughly, making you shriek. Now eating you out and fingering you simultaneously.
โHaโฆ donโt you think that talking about someoneโs mom in bed is a little messed up? It feels sacrilegiousโฆโ
He started fingering you fast while wiping the side of his lips from your arousal, watching you with a smirk.
โYou are gorgeous, darling.โ
โShโฆ shut up.โ Your blush intensified.
โAlright, alright.โ
He pulled out a condom from the nightstand, tearing it with his mouth and rolling it down on his pre-cum leaking, hard, angry-looking length, rubbing it against your slicked pussy.
โI donโt want to go to your parentsโ placeโฆโ
โThen letโs not go.โ
Jay started kissing you. You were getting distracted by it, and that was starting to be a problemโyou were talking about something serious here, but his horny ass wasnโt listening.
โStop giving me lip service and actually do something about itโฆ!โ
โFine. I will talk to Mom. But, yโknow, babyโฆ youโre being particularly loud today, hm?โ
โI-Iโm notโฆ!โ
You were hissing like an angry kitten, hitting his back with your ankle (that did nothing to him) as he lined himself in front of your entrance, slowly pushing in, making you shudder from the sensation.
โIf you look between the lines, itโs not too hard to find your lewd sideโฆโ
You moaned hard as he started thrusting in fast and hard, all the way, while keeping one of your legs in the air and his left hand intertwined with yours.
โFuck, youโre so deliciousโฆ!โ He grunted your name. โYou are forever mine. I love you.โ
He let you feel his weight as he almost laid on top of you, thrusting deep, hitting your g-spot each time.
Aside from meeting Jay back in Daegu, you two met again through the publication of a report issued by a research institute, as if some power in the universe was out to play cupid for you two. And perhaps it worked, because then you two dated for three years before deciding to get married. You never once doubted your choice or regretted it for a single moment.
At leastโฆ that was until you learned that Jay was a descendant of the Park clan, Gyeonggi branch. They said the clan rules donโt apply to couples at the very bottom of the hierarchyโyes, meaning you and your husbandโbut that was entirely just Jayโs perspective as the youngest son of that family.
Furthermore, your first meeting with your mother-in-law after your marriage wasnโt all rainbows and sunshine either, as it was enough of a testimony on its own. You always dreaded meeting up with her after that. You still remembered her mocking words to you.
โListen, donโt forget your place. You need to bear a son before you get even a year older, so donโt bother with contraceptives like rude little brats do.โ
Like you were some rat from the sewerโyou felt insulted. Your pride bruised as she thought you were only important for bearing an heir for the clan to continue, and not even a daughter, but a son. Misogyny and gender discrimination were at their peak in this hell of a clan. You just hated it.
โThatโs the only reason you were permitted to become the youngest daughter-in-law.โ
As if her son hadnโt courted you to date first, then gone down on his knees to make you his wife. The only reason you were tolerating all this bullshit was because of your husband, Jay. Because the reason was simple: your love for him. And maybe it was some kind of defianceโฆ but it just made you cling to contraceptives harder.
You thought this as you stared at the small pouch of condom containing Jayโs semen in your hand, as he lay beside you, nuzzling into the crook of your neck.
โWhat even happens at these clan meetings?โ you asked your husband, nudging his chest.
โItโs just a bunch of old hags with too much money and time on their hands, gathering together with nothing better to do. Donโt worry about it,โ Jay answered as if he couldnโt care less.
โTch, when it comes to this family matters, nobody ever gives me a straight answer~โ You smacked his chest, feeling annoyedโbut not really.
Anyway, you were the youngest couple. Itโs not like you stood to gain anythingโฆ right?
Do I seriously need to participate in these events? Iโm so overwhelmed.
But of course, when did things ever go your way?
Just like that, the day of the clan meeting came, and you found yourself sitting on the last cushion of the traditional table, waiting for the other family members. You were really jittery with nerves right nowโyou felt like dying, seriously. It was suffocating.
You turned toward the entrance at the sound of footsteps coming in your direction.
Iโm sure theyโre all nice people, thoughโฆ
Three males and three females came in. They looked like couplesโyou assumed they were your relatives. You greeted them politely, but only one of the three ladies greeted you back. The other two just went on about their own business, something you had no idea about. The males really had no souls, standing outside.
Doesnโt seem like a very welcoming atmosphere, you thought, pursing your lips and sitting back in your place quietly.
Then one lady came, looking slightly older, saying your mother-in-law had not arrived yet, looking like she had run here to be on time. When she saw you, she greeted you enthusiastically, and you were seriously grateful, feeling less like an outcast now. But you two were not able to talk long when your mother-in-law entered with an air of authority and sat on the main seat.
Once you all were seated, she called for you to come beside her instead, as you were the new daughter-in-law. You got startled but managed not to trip and scurried to her side, hands in front of you, clasped together.
โThis is likely to be our first proper introduction. As the youngest daughter-in-law, there is much you donโt know about our familyโs laws and decorum, so I expect everyone to be mindful and guide her,โ Mrs. Park commanded, and the other daughters-in-law automatically responded, saying yes in chorus.
You bowed your head to them in appreciation. โI will look forward to your guidance from now on.โ
Mrs. Parkโs voice rang through just after that, giving you a side-eye.
โNow thenโฆ why is there still no news?โ
โPardonโฆ?โ You were beyond perplexed at her question, but she continued anyway like it was some casual discussion about what to make for dinner.
โAre your menses regular? It must be that the child canโt take root because youโre always out and about.โ
The others were snickering at you silently, some pitying you.
This is too much. To talk about this right in front of everyoneโฆ! you thought, feeling utterly humiliated as you turned to say something to her.
โMother-in-lawโฆโ
When a loud and angry voice cut you off from outside, snatching everyoneโs attention.
โWhat gives you the nerve to show your face here?!โ
Mrs. Park sighed, grabbing her head before storming out, and you looked at her retreating figure in confusion.
Who showed up?
Your thought was answered by one of your sisters-in-law.
โIt seems this yearโs New Yearโs gathering is starting with the appearance of the young master, โSunghoonโ!โ
But instead of answering your question, it pushed you into a deeper dilemma.
Young Master Sunghoon? I thought Jay was the youngest?!
You all went out to see the commotion while your sisters-in-law kept talking.
โFor him to come back every year for the memorial without fail, even though heโs treated like dirtโฆ he must have been very dear to his late grandfather.โ
โOf course, he was devoted. Why else would his late grandfather have tried to appoint the young master as heir?โ
You were looking back and forth between your sisters-in-law and the scene in front, where the supposed young master was almost getting beaten with a stick by your mother-in-lawโs brother-in-law, and she was, of course, stopping it, trying to reason with the old man.
The heirโฆ?
Your thoughts were interrupted by your sister-in-lawโs next words.
โNow the strongest candidate is the other twin.โ
Your eyes snapped to her in surprise.
Wait, did she say โtwinโ?
โEven now, Mother-in-law still hasnโt given up and looks after young master Sunghoon every year.โ
โIndeed~ if only heโd just marry someone the family approves of and take over a business. Itโd be better~โ
โHe is still a priest with that face and body? God must really be a greedy one.โ
You finally moved your attention to the unknown male in front of you, who looked sharp and madly attractive. His eyes met yours briefly, but you broke it off quickly.
His eyesโฆ
They held some kind of spell.
You felt like you were getting sucked into them.
And you couldnโt be distractedโyou had more things to dwell on than how motherfucking sexy your supposedly brother-in-law looked.
Later, you were sitting in the room again, this time surrounded by maids doing their work silently while you dwelled in your thoughts with your sisters-in-law scattered around.
To become the headwife of this Household...
But your thoughts were interrupted by the one who greeted you enthusiastically earlier. "The most likely candidate to become the family successor is Jongsoeng, the young master & husband of the youngest sister-in-law."
"Oh dear I'm so jealous" you let out a resigned sigh at her words. "Ha..."
"Huh? Why the sigh?" She asked curiously while resting her cheeks on her palm, and you flinched slightly in realization that you were not alone here. "Well... I don't think it's a good thing at all..." You said.
"Sister-in-law, don't you know what it means to become the family successor? Do you know how many plots of land, businesses this household has across the country?"
You looked at her with curiosity now. She stood up from her place to walk towards you, near the big window, and started fixing the ribbon of your hanbok while explaining.
"According to the other sisters-in-law, just the taxes paid on the main family's land and buildings alone... amount to tens of billions of won a year."
She placed her hands on your shoulders with a knowing smile. "Who do you think will manage all that, huh?"
Your throat felt dry as the wheels in your mind started turning as she continued. "Becoming the family successor means inheriting 'all that family business'."
At that moment, for a split second, you imagined what it would be like if Jay inherited the title of the successor. You with all the money, luxuries, businesses, big cars as all of these flashed in front of your eyes before you were snapped out of your daydream.
"I will support you."
"Yes... Yess?!" You looked up at her.
"I heard that at the clan meeting, they will propose a motion to make young master Jongsaeng the family successor. So, I will completely support you and your husband!" She enthusiastically said as both of your attention shifted to the scene unfolding outside your window.
"This boy!! How are you to try to become the new groom! I'll cut you out of the family register this time!!" The old man was again spiking his blood pressure and exploding over a nonchalant Sunghoon, throwing water at him from a circular object, but Sunghoon easily stood his ground while keeping himself at ease, his hands clasped behind his back, calm.
"He's outrageous, truly outrageous." Sunghoon ran his hand through his wet hair, wiping excess water off his face while his mother stepped in to intervene. "Older brother-in-law...! Calm down!"
"Shut up!! Get out of the way!" The old man shrieked while the two of you watched all the drama and the woman beside you sighed.
"It's obvious without even looking... Perhaps young master Sunghoon... left because he couldn't handle the pressure of this Household..."
As you listened to her, somehow you were having a hard time believing that. Your gut told you it was entirely something different while you drilled holes into his broad back, not hearing your name being called from behind a few times now.
"Sister-in-law!" "Youngest sister-in-law!" You got startled hard when you finally heard your name and turned to face your other sister-in-law.
"What are you thinking about so deeply?"
"Oh... It's nothing."
"Go to mother's office, she's calling for you."
"Ah.. yes." You fixed your attire and tightened your bun before stepping inside the office room to sit adjacent to your mother-in-law who was serving you both warm tea.
"This is tea that warms the body. It's much better than coffee."
"Thank you, mother." You said as you took a sip from your tea cup after she filled it with warm herbal tea, putting on a cherry smile.
"From now until the new year's ceremony, you must embody the grace of our ancestors, so in this house, you must keep your body & mind pure so as not to be tainted by lust."
"You understand what I mean right?" She asked for understanding in a tone of a woman who knows the power she holds in this house. Talk about irony, if only she was aware of what her son is like.
"Yes." But like the obedient daughter-in-law you have perfected being, you complied as your gaze slowly drifted behind her to the chair of the head wife position which could be yours later in the future if things go your way, that is... Because having a husband who can't keep his horny ass off you even for a second can be a potential threat to this. But determination glimmered in your eyes, not knowing that in a span of a few hours, your life trajectory was about to take a 360ยฐ turn.
"I should drink tea instead of coffee from now on." You chirped, holding the warm tea in a traditional way as her scrutinized gaze swept over you in silent observation.
"The fragrance is truly wonderful, mother," you said in a pleasing tone, taking slow sips.
"Mother told us not to until the new year's ceremony...!" You whispered helplessly to your husband who had no intention of listening to your weak protests as he was busy dragging you across the garden in the middle of the night, under everyone's nose. "It's okay"
You don't trust his reassurance at all. Because if there's one thing you are dead sure about your husband, it's that he has great impact over you. You are just pathetic for him, folding like paper at his one gaze or touch. That's why you try to avoid his tactics first-hand when you know you are about to be screwed over because of his shit. Though right now, it isn't working because his ass is persistent as fuck. You will really kill him one day, you are tired of his ass (not really).
Your hesitation was visible as you reluctantly follow him. You can see your plan to stay 'pure' about to get ruined in real time. So much for having him as the love of your life. "Jay, where are we going?"
You asked as you guys entered a different hallway, the wooden floor creaking beneath your hushed yet hurried footsteps. Jay didn't answer and just slid open the door to an empty room with only a few furnishingsโa traditional closet, a table, and a low-height traditional table at the side and a giant-ass window from which moonlight was seeping through, dimly lightening the room. He tugged at your intertwined hands, guiding you inside towards the table, making you half sit on top of it. "What if someone comes here?!"
"Don't worry, no one is coming" He smirked as he boxes you against the table, wedging between your legs, pushing you back on the table, knocking files, papers, and empty bottles off the table in the process.
And then his hands ripped your shirt buttons open, the buttons flying off as you let out a shriek with a disbelieving expression, your hand going up to his face, pushing him back, "Jay, no..! wait... hnngh!" Your face flushed red as his hands circled around your tits, your nipples pebbling beneath his palms, your back flat against the table. Jay's skilled fingers played with your nipples, pressing and pinching, eliciting moans from you easily.
"What do you mean no?" His hands trailed down, groping you down to your already wet cunt. After pushing your skirt up, parting your legs wider and pulling your panty aside, he suddenly pinched your swollen clit, his middle finger lazily drawing circles over your throbbing pussy, and a sharp hitch left your lips, legs already shaking as his other hand was still palming your tit. "You're leaking all over the place..." He grabbed your inner thighs, his lips on your other tit which was left unattended, softly biting it. "Eek! J-JAY!" Your hands shot up to grab his biceps to balance yourself, slowly removing his black suit jacket. "ahh! Hnng Jay...!"
Unbeknownst to you two, behind the closed door, Sunghoon was passing through but stopped on his tracks when he heard your voice. His hand shot up to the sliding door, slowly sliding it open just enough to peek inside, though his face remained stoic all the time. Inside, you sat up, hugging your husband, your hands in his hair as he peppered kisses along your collarbone, marking your neck. "Seriously... Jay, really..." you panted when your gaze drifted towards the half-open door and you saw a pair of monolids looking straight at you. 'huh...? Huh??! Is someone there...?' You thought panicked, the color draining from your face, turning pale. When you finally deciphered who was looking straight into your soul was none other than, '...Young master Sunghoon?!'
You flinched, "Jay, wait.." trying to stop Jay who was busy removing your already ruined shirt and bra off you. Stop Jay, quickly... You thought, alarmed but got distracted when Jay sucked on a sweet spot just below your ear, making you moan. "Why are you twitching so much... you seem more excited than usual?" He called your name while licking his lips and removing his shirt and tossing it somewhere before going back to licking your tits and palming them. "I-I'm not...!" You were having a hard time breathing, sweat beads coating your face, fully aware of the situation at hand. 'He is still watching... I need to stop...' Your gaze lifted back up, 'Stop...' and then suddenly all the bullshit you have been put through to be deemed worthy enough to stand by Jay's side flashed through your mindโthe hostility, jealousy, pressure, restrictionsโand then it switched to Sunghoon being treated like a mere inconvenience earlier to your mother-in-law protecting him. Your lips curved into a slow wicked grin as you found the perfect plan to get what you want. You looked at Jay lovingly after confirming that Sunghoon was still rooted on his spot behind the door, hidden but watching, your fingers spreading your pussy lips, your legs opening wider as you finally gave Jay the permission, now both fully naked. "Jay..."
"Huh?" He looked at you, his tongue out.
"Pound me with your dick..."
Jay's face flushed red, his eyes a mix of love and lust, total heart eyes. "Crazy... you said not to..." Your gaze went past to the person who was still watchingโSunghoon. If he wants to watch, you will make sure to put on a whole damn show. His eyes widened when he realized he was caught in the act of watching. "Open your hole with your hand and show me. Damn, Mrs. Park... You are really lewd...!" Jay tugged towards you, grabbing your inner thighs, his hard dick oozing with precum standing tall as he didn't give you time to react and shoved his entire gigantic length inside you, bottoming out, making you see stars in real time. A loud filthy moan left your lips, your arousal coating all over his abdomen. Squelching filthy sounds filled the silent room from how fast and hard Jay was thrusting inside you, your love juices flowing out.
"Did you get this wet because you want to devour your husband? Huh?" He asked, still going strong, hugging you to him as your eyes turned heart-shaped, totally fucked out, moaning and whimpering like the little whore you were. "Jay...! more... more...! aah!" You locked your legs tightly around his waist, hugging him just as tight but your gaze was somewhere elseโat Sunghoon who now had slid the door a little more, both his hands on the wooden door, the veins on his neck popping, his jaw clenched. "You are squeezing so tight..." You grabbed Jay's face, pulling him in a passionate kiss, your tongue tangling with his, hot against each other as he thrust deeper and deeper each time. He totally lifted you off the table, hands under your thighs as you encircled your hands around his neck.
"Ha...! Jay... you have a younger brother, right? I-I heard he was your twin." You moaned, your first orgasm crashing down as his dick was reaching your g-spot. "Yeah, I did." He let out against you. Sunghoon was watching you two with an unknown expression, his jaw clenched tightly. "He's the one the family disowned."
"Really?" You cradled his face in your hands. "Then does he look like you?" You looked at your husband then at his twin brother behind him who was watching the two of you. Then a memory of earlier came to your mind when you were on your way to your mother-in-law in the morning. You saw him in the garden, near the water drums, removing his priest uniform top in the open, standing shirtless. Looking like every bit of a Greek god with that bodyโbroad shoulders and bulked-up build. He was hiding such a mouth-watering sight behind his priest uniform. Mr. Priest is hot. Your brain was short-circuiting looking at the miles and miles and miles of lean, pale, toned, tempting muscles. You're sure you look insane just staring at him, all words drying up and getting stuck in your throat like you've never seen a man before. But the truth is, you've never seen a man like HIMโnot outside of the movies, at least. You saw how he was wiping his face and body with water, eyes closed. He has pretty eyelashes too. You didn't realize you were drilling holes into him from behind the corridor window. Because when he caught your gaze, you got flustered, your face turning into a tomato as you scurried away at the speed of lightning.
You scratched Jay's back from how hard he was ramming against you, holding on for your life; he was still going strong. "Did you just say we look alike? Fuck... seems like my wife has a thing for this Park Sunghoon." He laid you back down on the table and pounded into you, his back full of marks and scratches made by you. You let out a string of curses at how rough he was being, your nails dug into his arms, making him groan. "Hic... your brother's name is Park Sunghoon?" you still asked, placing one hand on his chest and the other on his cheeks. "That's right, Park Sunghoon." His calloused hand brushed your hair behind your back and leaned down to mark a hickey on your pulse point. You closed your eyes, feeling the electric feeling in your veins. "Sunghoon. Park Sunghoon... Hah!" You suddenly moaned when Jay hit your g-spot again, barely able to catch your breath, not knowing what your voice calling his name did to Sunghoon.
"So, it's Sunghoon. S-slow down a little..!" You groaned. "Hic! ah, you are so deep!" He buried his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling your sweet scent. "You cling to my dick like this, then you tell me to slow down?" He pulled you up around his waist and flipped you guys around; now you were on top of him, riding him. "Huh...? seems like my darling's gone a little crazy today..." He lazily chuckled as you steadied yourself on him. "Stop it... It's embarrassing... quit staring so hard..." You covered his eyes with your palm while leaning down. "Hey, move your hand. I can't see." He pushed you down on him harder, your love juices pouring out. "Fuck... this is turning me on like crazy." You rested your cheeks on top of your palm which was covering Jay's eyes, your face turned towards the half-open door with a filthy smirk as you watched Sunghoon looking at you two. "You're so filthy Mrs. Park... I love it."
'Jay... If the one watching right now was Jay... What kind of expression would he have?' You thought, not hearing Jay's whines and groans. "Ahuk, too hard! Baby can you move your hand a little? You are squeezing too tight." You lolled your tongue out, licking Jay's lips as he instantly opened his mouth and rolled his tongue against yours. Sunghoon looked flustered, his whole face red, a frown etched between his brows. 'Would he be pleading desperately, too? Just like that expression right now?' You thought as your nth orgasm hit you that night. Jay's pace started withering; it seemed like he was close as well. You kept making out with your husband while locking your gaze with Sunghoon. "Just a lil bit more, baby... kuhuk!" Jay stilled inside you before a hot load of his semen spurted into your womb, painting your walls white. He was still cumming, his and your fluids gushing out of you as you jolted from the sensation, arching your back. You felt Jay grunting beneath you, his dick still twitching inside you as you lay on top of him, catching your breath.
Synopsis : What happens when your shy and nerdy neighbour finds you in the staircase of your apartment building crying over your ex-boyfriend who left you because you were supposedly boring in his eyes ?
OR
IN WHICH Jake Sim was supposed to remain as a nobody until he graduated University quietly but that plan went down the drain when he found his crush of 4 years crying on the staircase over her shitty ex. He finds himself offering to fake date to make your ex jealous to get you the revenge you want for the next two weeks you two are about to spend on the college trip near the beach.
Genre :ย Fake Dating โข Nerd x Popular Girl โข One-Sided Love (Jake) โข University AU โข Friends to Lovers โข Situationship/FWB โข Beach Trip Chaos โข Soft Angst โข Tooth-Rotting Fluff โข Coming-of-Age Vibes โข 50 Shades Of Sim Jaeyun
Warnings:ย MDNI
Suggestive & mature themes โข Smut (consensual) โข Protected & unprotected sex (contraception mentioned) โข Virginity loss โข Light dom/sub dynamics (switch energy) โข Jake being a whiny, needy mess โข Lots of making out โข Teasing & tension โข Emotional vulnerability โข Pregnancy scare โข Slight jealousy/possessiveness โข Reader has a trash ex
Featuring:ย Roh Yunah โข Huh Yunjin โข Lee Taeyong โข Lee Heeseung
Playlist : Heavan โ Julia Michaels ; Bad Decisions โ Benny Blanco (BTS, Snoop Dogg) ; Loose โ ENHYPEN ; Fantasize โ Ariana Grande ; Snooze โ SZA ; Golden Hour โ JVKE ; Back To Friends - Sombr ; Softcore โ The Neighbourhood ; Electric Touch โ Taylor Swift ft. Fall Out Boy.
WC : 9.6k
AUTHORโS NOTE : okay soโฆ this is my first proper jake oneshot and i went all in ๐ญ
iโve always had this very specific vision of him as a shy, lowkey genius type who looks like he has everything together but completely falls apart when it comes to feelingsโand yeahโฆ you can see where this went.
this was honestly me experimenting with dynamics, pacing, and letting things get a little messier (and softer) than usual. if there are tiny inconsistencies, just pretend they donโt exist ๐ซถ
iโd genuinely love to hear what you thinkโwhat worked, what didnโt, which moments made you scream/cry/throw your phone.
be nice. or donโt. iโll still read it anyway.
Being a graphic design major in your last year of University, you thought you had it allโperfect grades, a close circle of friends, a happy college life, and most of all, a good boyfriend. Well, that was until your 'perfect bf' decided to be an absolute asshole and dumped you for being boring because you refused to have sex after dating for a year and a half.
You weren't sure if you wanted to give your first time to your boyfriend yet. Unlike others, it was something you cherished because you wanted it to be special with someone your heart truly desired. Well, your boyfriend, now ex, wasn't able to pass that criteria. He didn't have the patience because he was a horny dog. He dumped you, and now three months later, he came back with another girl.
You were heartbroken, not because he was your first love, but because he was your first boyfriend, your first kiss. And you were very serious about your firsts.
So, when you saw him with another girlโlike he wasn't your boyfriend just three months agoโshowering you with love and care (or pretending to) in the club, you lost it. You drank yourself to the point you were seeing pigs flying in the night sky. Fortunately, your friend Roh Yunah was with you and dropped you off at your apartment building before making sure you were inside.
These three months, you tried so hard to pretend everything was fine in front of others, swallowing the bitter pill silently and hurting. Now, it was so hard to keep it in. You decided to take the stairs to your floor, wanting to compose yourself and pep talk yourself into believing you were strong and that one boy couldn't make you feel like this. That your shitty ex didn't deserve you. But everyone has their breaking point. You slumped against the staircase on your floor and started crying your heart out.
It was the first time in three months you were expressing your grief and disappointment over your broken relationship. It hurt. It hurt to be tossed around like you didn't matter just because you couldn't give one thing that was precious to you. You weren't like others; you weighed your options before doing anything; you didn't go around living a reckless life. You may be a person with an easy-going personality, but that didn't mean you didn't overthink shits at 2 AM about your actions, thinking they weren't 'right,' and the need to redeem yourself for it. You were scared of putting yourself out there and getting tossed around carelessly. Your self-respect was your armor, and it was bruised because of your ex. You took pride in doing things right; heck, it was your first time getting drunk too. Before this, even if you went to parties, you avoided alcohol, sticking to your cocktails or soda.
When you were dwelling in your self-misery, you didn't realize a Lego car moving towards you with a sticky note stuck on it until it bumped into your side. You sniffled, wiping your wet face with a handkerchief before looking beside you at the car. You followed its line of sight and found the door beside your apartment slightly opened. A shy looking Jaeyun peeked out with a remote controller in his hand.
You looked back at the car before picking up the note and reading it: 'Are you okay? Want to talk it out?' It read, and you wanted to cry at that. Were you looking that miserable that even your shy, quiet neighborโwho also shares a few classes with youโis asking if you want to talk? Is he pitying you? He seemed kind, though.
You know him. You always see him in passing, and he has always kept to himself, stuttering whenever you would talk to him. He was shy and a total nerd wearing those big squared glasses, fluffy hair, veiny hands, and a lean build. He was outrageously smart, especially in physics. You knew because you naturally paid attention to people around you; you knew because he may or may not have helped you in your shared physics classes, always sitting adjacent, a row ahead of you.
Maybe because you wanted to tell someone, feeling vulnerable and pour your heart out, you nodded, looking up at him who was still rooted on the threshold of his door. You saw how his eyes widened when you agreed. He clearly hadn't expected you to agree so easily. He hesitantly stepped out as if it was taking everything in him to step closer to you without combusting. He slowly settled beside you on the staircase, keeping a polite distance, taking his Lego car when you passed it back to him and fidgeting with it. Oh, he was always fidgeting for some reason.
You wiped your face to look a bit more presentable, suddenly conscious of how you looked with your makeup smudged and messy hair. Without you knowing, you were still the prettiest girl he has ever seen. He silently offered you a pack of tissues, patiently waiting as you wiped your face clean and fixed your hair after muttering a shaky thanks.
After you were done, you heard his soft voice for the first time that day.
"What happened?" His voice held that silent curiosity and a willingness to listen without judging. Like he had all the time in the world to listen to you. That broke all the dam once again. You automatically started telling him everything that happened. Because suddenly, it was easy to talk to him. There was no awkwardness there like before whenever you used to talk to him.
You told him what your Boyfriend, Lee Taeyeong, did. You told him how you are as a person, your values, your beliefs, and most importantly, your insecurity of being curvy and not slim like other girls. How you sometimes feel unattractive, not knowing the man in front of you looks at you like you have hung the stars for him in the sky without even doing anything. His eyes sparkling whenever he spots you in the University or here. He listened, listened with such patience it was almost unbelievable to you.
Because why was he even doing this? It's not like he is obligated to keep listening to her rambling, sit here in the cold night on the staircase, make her feel seen when he is just a neighbor, almost a stranger. As you finally stopped, you didn't realize silent tears were streaming down your fluffy cheeks.
Jake's hand twitched in his lap, wanting to wipe those tears and tell you how he didn't deserve you and that you were more than your insecurity or what your ex made you feel like. With great efforts, he did. He hesitantly wiped your cheeks with great gentleness before softly telling you how you were worth it. He made you feel like a person, that you were pretty and beautiful just the way you were.
You were surprised to hear him say such things, not because he was a bad person. It just that you never thought you would hear all these from him out of everyone. He was more than what people paint him to be. He was not just a shy nerd; he was more than that. His actions had such smoothness and silent confidence that you would miss if you didn't pay attention. He was kind. He was a gentleman. After this night, you knew Jaeyun was not just a neighbor to you anymore, not just a batchmate anymore.
A comfortable silence fell between you two after you thanked him for sitting through your breakdown, even if he didn't have to. And he hated how you downplay yourself always. He shook his head before his lips twitched, his pink full plump lips stretching into a soft shy smile before he said.
"Y-you said, you w-wanted to t-take revenge from your ex for making you feel like this. So..." He paused as if he was contemplating everything for the last time before he let it out in the space between you two. Hesitant about this plan, but he had come this far; might as well go all out. It was a big deal for Jake. For four years, he had been crushing on you like crazy; now that the universe had provided him with an opportunity like this, he was definitely not going to fumble. He mustered his courage and finally exhaled before looking into your boba eyes, which were already staring at him with curiosity.
His heart wanted to leap out every second while looking at you. "How about you... I mean... We... F...fake date? he finished, the words tumbling out in a rush. He immediately clamped his mouth shut, his ears turning a violent shade of red. He looked down at his hands, which were now twisting the hem of his hoodie. "And make him believe that he's not the only one who can move on that fast and that you're not miserable because of his ungrateful ass?"
Surprise would be an understatement to what you were feeling right now. You never thought about it. Of course you didn't. You were even more blown away by the fact that he was the one suggesting this, and it was also the first time you'd heard him use a cuss word. Sim Jaeyun has always been a goody-two-shoes, the professor's favourite, involved in the student council. You just never expected him to offer to fake date you.
He was still looking at you with expectant eyes, regret seeping into them. And you... you were just too speechless to comprehend things. Yeah, it was that shocking. It's not that you wouldn't date him; he was attractive, more attractive than most of the males on campus. He had the brain and the personality too. It's just that you never thought about it.
Realizing he was misunderstanding, you quickly cleared your throat and grabbed his hand, which was balling into a fist.
"Hey... wait! I was just a little surprised. I have never thought about something like this before in the past three months... well, it sounds like a good idea, but will it be okay? With you..? I'm not sure." You were hesitant.
Jake, for the first time, broke into a big, suspiciously big-ass grin and turned his palm so now he was holding your hand, his gesture gentle yet confident.
You were surprised at his change in demeanour. He was definitely a mystery; every second, you were seeing different sides of Sim Jaeyun.
"I-it's okay! We are going to the beach trip hosted by the uni, right? We can make our plan work there! It will be a perfect place to showcase our chemistry. Just trust m-me... I-i may look like a mess, but I'm quite reliable."
Then came his signature puppy eyes and soft grin. "So? You in?"
"Why are you doing this? You won't get anything from this?" It was a valid question. You could see Jake racking his brain to spit out a believable excuse. He was like an open book; you could read everything on his face. Or so you thought. It was almost endearing to you. He was endearing. As you watched him, waiting patiently to hear him, you didn't realize your heart was slowly picking up pace.
"You might not remember but when we were in our first year, you talked to me like I was a normal person, not a freak, not an outcast like others saw me. And it... it is something that really matters to me. So as a thank you token, I'm doing this. Is it okay?"
You were lost staring at him, and his voice brought you out of your fantasy world. You felt your cheeks burning and you looked away from him before nodding.
"Y-yeah okay... Thank you so much, Jaeyun. Really."
You don't know how much he was feral over you calling him by his real name whereas others call him Jake. It's just the way your voice sounds in his ears when he hears you say his name; he felt a zoo of butterflies in his gut.
"So... er... can we... exchange numbers?" If Heeseung were here, he would have cried from happiness for his best friend because he was the sole witness of Jake being a lost puppy in love, never mustering the courage to talk to you for more than five seconds. So asking for your number was a big, big deal to him. For encouraging Jake and his hopeless romantic ass, Heeseung would get the benefit to hear this from Jake later.
You nodded and fumbled your phone out of your jeans pocket before exchanging numbers with him. You had no idea that this trip was about to change the whole trajectory of your life, yet. That Sim Jaeyun was about to become someone who would change your definition of love.
The week leading up to the trip was a whirlwind of nervous energy and secret texts. You found yourself smiling at your phone more often than not, your fingers flying across the screen as you and Jake built the foundation for your fake relationship.
Jake: So, for the trip, we should probably establish some ground rules. Like, how long have we been 'dating'?
You: Hmm, good point. Let's say a month? That's believable, right? Not too long, not too short.
Jake: Perfect. And what's our 'how we met' story? We can't say the staircase incident, obviously.
You: Lol, obviously. How about... we were paired up for a project in that mandatory Gen Ed class last semester? And we just... clicked?
Jake: I like that. It's simple. And... not a complete lie. We have been in classes together.
You: Exactly! And what about PDA? What are you comfortable with?
You held your breath after sending that last one. It felt like such a big, intimate question, even if it was just for a 'performance'.
Jake: Whatever you're comfortable with. Hand-holding is a must. Maybe an arm around your shoulder sometimes? If... if that's okay.
You: That's more than okay, Jake. That's perfect.
Jake: Great. And... one more thing. Can I call you 'baby'?
Your heart did a little flip-flop.
You: Only if I can call you 'my nerd'.
Jake: Deal.
The texts were innocent, but they felt charged with an electricity you couldn't explain. You were getting to know a side of Jake you never knew existedโa confident, slightly flirty side that was hidden beneath his shy exterior. And you were surprised to find how much you liked it.
The morning of the trip arrived with the sun shining brightly and a buzz of excitement in the air. You met your friends Yunah and Yunjin at the bus pick-up spot, your suitcase rolling behind you.
"You seem... suspiciously cheerful for someone who's about to be stuck on a bus with her ex for four hours," Yunah noted, raising an eyebrow as she sipped her iced coffee.
You just shrugged, a small smile playing on your lips. "I'm just excited for the beach. I realised that Taeyeong isn't worth my tears."
Yunjin cackled, linking her arm with yours. "That's my girl. Ignore his useless existence and enjoy."
Just then, you saw him. Jake. He was standing a little away from the crowd, looking uncharacteristically cool in a simple white t-shirt and jeans, his glasses perched on his nose as he scrolled through his phone. His fluffy hair was slightly messy, as if he'd run his hands through it one too many times. When he looked up and his eyes met yours, a slow, confident smile spread across his face. He gave you a small, almost imperceptible nod.
This was it. Showtime.
You excused yourself from your friends, telling them you needed to grab something from your suitcase. As you walked past Jake, you 'accidentally' brushed your hand against his. He caught it immediately, his fingers lacing with yours. The touch sent a jolt through youโhis hands were warm and slightly calloused, a stark contrast to his nerdy appearance.
"Hey, baby," he said, his voice low and steady, none of the usual stutter.
"Hey, my nerd," you replied, your voice a little shakier than you'd intended.
He just grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Ready for this?"
"As I'll ever be."
The bus ride was pure, delicious torture. You and Jake sat together in the middle of the bus, a strategic choice. You knew Taeyeong would be sitting a few rows back with his new girlfriend, and you wanted to make sure he had a perfect view. Jake was the perfect fake boyfriend. He kept his arm draped casually around your shoulders, his thumb tracing circles on your bare arm. He'd lean in and whisper stupid jokes in your ear that made you laugh genuinely, your head thrown back in a way you knew showed off your neck.
At one point, he pulled out his headphones and offered you one earbud.
"What are you listening to?" you asked, plugging it in.
"It's a lo-fi study playlist," he admitted, a blush creeping up his neck. "It helps me focus."
"Of course it does," you teased, nudging him playfully. "My nerd."
He just smiled, leaning his head against yours. You could feel the weight of Taeyeong's stare on the back of your neck, and a small, triumphant smile graced your lips. This was working better than you could have ever imagined.
The hotel was beautiful, right on the beach. As everyone piled out of the bus and grabbed their luggage keys, chaos ensued. You were trying to pull your suitcase when it got stuck in the bus door.
"Here, let me help," Jake said, his voice right behind you. He easily dislodged your suitcase, his muscles flexing under his thin t-shirt as he lifted it out for you. "Why do you have so much stuff? We're only here for two weeks."
"It's called being prepared, Sim Jaeyun," you shot back, playfully. "Something you wouldn't understand."
He just chuckled, grabbing both your suitcases. "Where's your room ?"
"Room 304," you told him, pointing down the hall. "I'm with Yunah and Yunjin."
"Ah, cool. I'm with Heeseung and... Taeyeong," he said, his expression unreadable.
Your blood ran cold. "You're what?"
"Yeah, random assignment, I guess," he said with a shrug, but you could see the tension in his jaw. "Don't worry, I can handle it. He's not gonna bother me."
You weren't so sure, but before you could protest, Yunah and Yunjin were dragging you towards your room, giggling and whispering about the 'intense chemistry' they'd witnessed between you and Jake.
"Okay, spill," Yunjin said as soon as the door was closed, plopping down on one of the beds. "Since when are you and Jake Sim a thing? And why didn't you tell us?"
So you told them everythingโabout the breakup aftermath, the staircase, the fake dating plan.
"Oh my god," Yunah breathed, her eyes wide. "That's... actually kind of romantic? In a nerdy, revenge-fueled way?"
"And hot," Yunjin added, wiggling her eyebrows. "Did you see the way he looked at you on the bus? I haven't seen him that confident in my entire life. You're good for him."
The next few days were a blur of sun, sand, and simmering tension. Your 'policy of just holding hands and arm around shoulders' failed spectacularly. Jake was a natural gentleman, his touches becoming more confident and frequent as the days went on. He'd tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering on your cheek. He'd guide you through crowds with a firm hand on the small of your back, sending shivers down your spine. You were genuinely having fun, more fun than you'd had in a long time.
You also discovered a whole new side of Jake. You knew he was smart, but you had no idea he was athletic. On the second day, a group of guys started a game of beach volleyball, and Jake, after some hesitant prodding from Heeseung, joined in. He was good. Really good. He moved with a grace and power you hadn't expected, diving for balls, spiking them over the net with a concentrated ferocity that was incredibly attractive. You found yourself cheering loudly for him, your heart swelling with pride every time he scored, his eyes immediately finding yours in the crowd afterwards, a shy, triumphant smile on his face.
Of course, Taeyeong was always watching. You could feel his stare like a physical presence, but for the first time, it didn't bother you. You were too busy having fun with Jake.
The breaking point came during the beach bonfire on the fourth night. The air was thick with the smell of salt and smoke, the crackling of the fire mingling with the sound of waves and laughter. You were sitting on a log next to Jake, roasting marshmallows, when Taeyeong and his new girlfriend wandered over.
"Having fun?" Taeyeong asked, his voice dripping with condescension as he looked at you and Jake.
"Great, actually," you said, not giving him the satisfaction of seeing you fluster.
"I'm surprised," he said, with a pointed glance at Jake. "I just didn't think you were the type to... settle that fast. This almost feel like an act. It's a bit obvious, don't you think? If you were a real couple, you would at least kiss."
Rage, hot and sharp, shot through you. Who was he to mock you? To mock Jake? "Oh yeah, just watch!"
Without thinking, you turned to face Jake, grabbed Jake by the collar of his hoodie, and smashed your lips against his.
Jake was frozen for a split second, completely stunned. But then, something shifted. He was no longer hesitant. He was lost in the sensation, his arms sliding around your waist and pulling you flush against him. You gasped at the feeling of his cold hands on your hot skin, and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, his tongue sweeping into your mouth. He tasted like marshmallow and mint toothpaste, and it was intoxicating. You kissed him back with equal fervor, your hands tangling in his fluffy hair.
The people around you started hooting and whistling, especially Yunah and Yunjin. When you finally pulled away, breathless, your lips swollen, the entire bonfire was staring. Taeyeong was clenching his jaw so hard you were surprised his teeth didn't crack. You shot him a triumphant smirk.
Jake, however, was gone. His eyes were wide and dazed, his glasses slightly askew. He was still reeling from the kiss. It was his first kiss with you, after all. Your lips were so soft, you tasted so sweet. He wanted to kiss you again, badly, but he held himself back, settling for keeping his arm firmly around your waist as everyone eventually went back to what they were doing.
You turned back to the fire, your hands trembling slightly as you tried to resume roasting marshmallows, but the moment was broken. The air between you and Jake crackled with a new, foreign tension, already ready to explode. Every touch meant something more now, every glance loaded with unspoken questions.
The next night, the tension was unbearable. You needed to talk to him, to clear the air. So you found yourself knocking on the door of Room 302, your heart pounding in your chest.
The door swung open, but it wasn't Jake who answered it. It was Taeyeong.
"What are you doing here?" you asked, your voice laced with disdain and dislike.
He scoffed, leaning against the doorframe. "Unfortunate it is that you have weak memory, I'm sharing a room with your nerdy, timid boyfriend."
Anger flared in your chest. How dare he mock Jake? "He's more of a man than you'll ever be," you snapped, your protective instincts kicking in. "At least he doesn't have to put others down to feel good about himself."
Before Taeyeong could retort, the door was pulled open wider and Jake was there. He had clearly heard everything. He simply grabbed your hand, his grip firm and decisive, and pulled you away from the door.
"Let's go for a walk," he said, his voice tight.
You walked along the shoreline in silence, the moonlight casting a silvery glow on the water. You were the first to break it, starting to babble about anything and everythingโthe party Yunah and Yunjin had dragged you to, the weird seashell you found, how much you hated sand in your shoes. You were nervous, and you knew it.
Jake was distracted. His eyes kept flickering down to your lips as you talked, the memory of the kiss burned into his brain. He was also fighting a losing battle with jealousy. He was jealous of Taeyeong for having you first, for ever having the right to touch you, to kiss you. Just seeing Taeyeong anywhere near you pissed him off to no limits. He wanted to kiss you so badly again, right here, under the stars. He wanted to tell you how pretty, how cute, how goddamn sexy you looked in that striped blue beach dress, with its little pink bow on your chest, the fabric hinting at the soft curves of your cleavage. Jake had so many unholy thoughts racing through his mind, and he was trying so hard not to come across as some desperate freak.
As you walked, your hands brushed against each other, sending jolts of electricity through you both. On the next pass, he gently entangled his fingers with yours.
You stopped mid-sentence, mid-step. The simple contact felt like a lightning strike. You looked up at him, your heart racing. "What?"
Jake short-circuited. He hadn't meant to do that, it was just impulse. He didn't know what to say, so he defaulted to what was true. "I... I just wanted to thank you," he stuttered, scratching the back of his neck shyly. "For... for defending me. Earlier."
You smiled at him, a pretty, genuine smile that made his heart ache. "It's nothing. It's what friends do, right?"
'Friends.' The word didn't sit right in his chest. It felt like a cage. Suddenly, the shy, stuttering boy was gone. He pulled you closer, one hand wrapping firmly around your waist, the other still holding yours. He leaned down, his face inches from yours, his pupils dilated in the moonlight.
"Jake," you whispered, his name a breathless prayer on your lips.
It was his undoing.
He pulled you impossibly close and smashed his lips against yours, his glasses bumping awkwardly against your nose. This kiss was different from the one at the bonfire. It wasn't for show. It was hungry, desperate, full of four years of pent-up longing. You kissed him back like you were starving, your arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him down to you.
When he finally pulled back, he didn't go far. He rested his forehead against yours, both of you breathing heavily. A string of saliva connected your swollen lips.
"Sorry," he breathed, his mind racing for a plausible excuse. "I... I saw Taeyeong. He was watching us from over there. I just... wanted to make him go away. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."
"Oh," you said, a wave of disappointment washing over you. It was just part of the act. "No, it's... it's okay."
The tension was too thick, too overwhelming. "I should... get back," you murmured, taking a small step back, the cool night air hitting the skin he had just warmed.
He just nodded, his expression unreadable in the dim light. "Okay."
The walk back to the hotel was silent, the comfortable easiness from earlier completely gone, replaced by a charged, awkward silence. When you reached your door, you fumbled with the keycard, your hands shaking slightly. You were supposed to say goodnight, to go inside and process the whirlwind of emotions that was Jake Sim.
But as the lock clicked open, something bold came over you. A reckless, impulsive need that you hadn't felt in a long time. Instead of stepping inside alone, you turned, grabbed the front of Jake's white t-shirt, and pulled him into the room with you.
He stumbled in, surprise evident on his face. "Whatโ"
You kicked the door shut behind him, the click echoing in the quiet room. You didn't give him a chance to ask another question. You rose on your tiptoes, fisted your hand in his fluffy hair, and crushed your lips to his.
Jake was surprised, but not mad. Far from it. A low groan rumbled in his chest as he responded with a fervor that matched your own. His veiny hands circled your hips, pressing you flush against him as he opened his mouth to kiss you deeper. It was a messy, desperate clash of tongues and teeth. He was a messy kisser, his hands running everywhere, up your back, down your sides, mapping your body like he was trying to memorize it.
He walked you backwards, his lips never leaving yours, until the back of your knees hit the couch and you both tumbled down onto the soft cushions. Your dress hiked up in the process, exposing your thighs. His mouth left yours to trail hot, open kisses down your neck. He nipped at the sensitive skin below your ear, surely leaving a hickey, and you gasped, your head falling back to give him better access. His hands slid from your hips, one traveling up your side to cup your breast through the thin fabric of your dress while the other ventured underneath the hem, his cold fingers tracing patterns on your inner thigh.
Things were escalating fast, hurtling towards a point of no return, when the distinct sound of a keycard sliding into the lock echoed in the room.
You both froze, your eyes flying open in panic. You stared at each other for a split second, the reality of the situation crashing down on both of you.
"Shit," Jake breathed, scrambling off you. You both hurriedly fixed yourselvesโyou pulling down your dress, him running a hand through his disheveled hair and straightening his glasses. The second the door opened, Jake bolted, mumbling a hasty, "I'll see you tomorrow," before disappearing into the hallway.
Yunah and Yunjin stumbled in, laughing loudly, clearly drunk from their night out partying. They didn't seem to notice your disheveled state or Jake's hasty exit.
"Hey! You're still up!" Yunjin cheered, flopping onto the bed opposite you. "We were worried you'd be asleep."
You just sat there on the couch, your heart hammering against your ribs, your lips swollen and tingling, a dull ache pulsing between your thighs. You could still feel the ghost of Jake's hands on your skin, the taste of him in your mouth. Your friends were chattering away, but you weren't listening. All you could think about was Jake. And the undeniable, terrifying, exhilarating truth that this fake relationship had just become terrifyingly, wonderfully real.
The next few days were a strange, heavy blur of awkward silence and forced proximity. The chemistry that had ignited after the bonfire seemed to have cooled into something terrifyingly real, yet neither of you knew how to touch it without burning. You found yourself subtly avoiding Jake whenever Taeyeong was not within earshot, your instincts screaming at you that this was more than just a script anymore. You were terrified that if you looked at him too long, he would see exactly how much you were falling for him, and you weren't ready to break the fake rule yet.
Jake, however, was suffering. The shy boy who used to stutter when you smiled at him was gone, replaced by a man who was obsessed. He was used to the constant, lovely attention youโd been giving him over the last two weeksโthe hand-holding, the inside jokes, the way you looked at him like he hung the stars. Now that you were pulling away, his frustration was reaching its limit. He had been going crazy over you for four years, suppressing his feelings to keep his sanity, but having you this close, this physically close, was driving him mad. His dick was a traitorous bastard, reminding him of the makeout session in the hallway every time he saw you in that blue dress.
It had been almost a week of this on-again, off-again ping-pong, and he hated it. The trip was ending in two days, and he hadn't confessed yet. He couldn't let you walk away without knowing.
He cornered you near the elevators on the evening of the seventh day. You were rushing to get back to your room, hoping to avoid another encounter, but he stepped in front of you, blocking your path. His expression was dark, his jaw tight.
"Can we talk?" he asked, his voice low.
"I... I have to get back, Jake. Yunah and Yunjin will be back soon." That was a pure lie but he don't need to know that... Yet.
"Right now." He was insistent, his patience snapping. "Please."
Before you could argue, you heard footsteps behind you and turned to see Taeyeong approaching, looking flushed and desperate. He stopped right in front of you, his eyes wide with panic.
"Please," Taeyeong groveled, grabbing your hands. "I know what you're doing. I know you're dating Jake just to make me jealous. I know you're using him. I was an idiot. I want you back. Please, take me back."
The words hit you like a slap in the face. You shook your head, trying to pull your hands away, but he held on. "Taeyeong, please. I told youโ"
"I love you! I know you're faking it, but I want to fix it. I want you back."
You looked at him with pity, shaking your head again, but then he gripped your hands tighter, his eyes pleading. "Just... just give me a chance. I know I messed up."
Then, hands gripped your waist from behind. Jakeโs arms.
He was beyond angry. It was a possessive, ugly rage that you had never seen in him. He didn't say a word. He simply yanked Taeyeong away from you by his collar, shoving him back a few feet.
"Stay. Away. From. My. Girlfriend."
The emphasis on each word was gravely and terrifying. Taeyeong looked between you and Jake, stunned. Jake didn't even look at him again. He turned back to you, his hand still tight on your waist, and gently pulled you inside your room, closing the door firmly.
He backed you against the door, the wood digging into your spine, and looked down at you with eyes that were nothing like the usual Jake. They were dark, burning with a hunger that made your knees weak. "Do you want to go back to him?" he asked, his voice rough. "Now that it seems like he realized what he lost."
It pained him to even ask you that. He was desperate, hoping you would say no, hoping you felt something for him too. When you were about to speak, he cut you off. Afraid that you will say something he is not ready to hear yet.
"Why are you avoiding me?" he demanded softly, stepping closer.
He saw how your throat bobbed up and down nervously, your eyes straying away from his. It was a habit you had whenever you wanted to escape something or were nervous.
"Tell me," he whispered, his hand cradling your cheek, forcing you to look at him.
Heat was pooling into your stomach, your heart racing a million times faster. You were sure he could feel it too, the way your body was reacting to his touch. There was something heavy in the air, thick with unsaid feelings.
You looked into his eyes, then down at his lips, then back to his eyes. He groaned, a low, guttural sound. "You are driving me fucking crazy."
He said your name like a prayer before crashing his lips against yours. This kiss was different from the othersโit was desperate, claiming, and filled with the four years of pent-up longing. You gasped against his mouth, your hands tangling in his hair as you melted into him.
You kissed him back just as fiercely, the barriers breaking down. Your feelings were becoming clear to you, muddled by the intense pleasure of the moment. He broke the kiss only to toss his glasses away, not wanting them to get in the way. Then he was back on your lips, his tongue demanding entry.
"I will make sure you will never avoid me after this," he breathed against your lips.
Jake Sim was nothing if not a man of his word.
He lifted you up effortlessly, your legs wrapping around his waist. He walked you over to the couch, but before you could settle, his hunger overpowered him. He laid you down, his body covering yours, his hands exploring every inch of you. He discarded both of your clothes, only leaving you in your underwear.
"Are you sure?" he rasped, his eyes scanning your face for any sign of hesitation. "I... I've wanted this for so long. You're my first."
You nodded, your breath hitching as he leaned down, his lips trailing soft, open-mouthed kisses down your neck. He found the spot that made you gasp, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin.
"Jake," you moaned, your back arching off the couch.
He smiled against your skin, a vibration that you could feel through your whole body. "I'm glad it's you."
He moved between your legs, his fingers tracing the line of your underwear. "Are you on any kind of contraceptives ? Because I wanna feel you without any barrier." he asked, his voice thick with lust.
You nodded again, though the reality of what was about to happen settled in your stomach. This was it. The real thing.
He pushed the fabric aside and lowered his head, his tongue tracing the sensitive bundle of nerves. You cried out, your fingers digging into his hair. His mouth was skilled beyond his years, his tongue working magic on you until you were panting and trembling.
"You taste like heaven," he whispered, looking up at you with hooded eyes. "So sweet."
He moved up to kiss you, his lips swollen and glistening with your essence. "I want to be inside you," he groaned, lining himself up at your entrance after pulling his monster for a cock out from confines. It was red and angry. "Please."
He slid in slowly, the stretch burning a little, but the pleasure quickly overtook the pain. He filled you completely, stretching you in the best way possible. You gasped, your nails digging into his shoulders. You really had not expected Jake to be this big and it's your first time too.
"You feel so good," he panted, his eyes wide as he took in the sight of you. "You're so tight."
He started to move, shallow thrusts at first, getting you used to the feeling. Then, he picked up the pace, his strokes deep and hard. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room, accompanied by your moans and his ragged breathing.
"Jake... yes... don't stop," you whimpered, your body arching up to meet his every thrust.
"You're so beautiful," he groaned, his hand finding your clit. "I love how you look when you take me."
He increased the intensity, his body slamming into yours. You felt yourself teetering on the edge, your vision blurring.
"I'm gonna come," you cried out.
"Me too," he gasped.
With a few more hard thrusts, you both reached your peak together, your bodies shuddering in the aftermath. He collapsed on top of you, his weight pressing you into the couch. He pulled out slowly, wiping himself off with a tissue.
"You're so amazing," he whispered, placing a your head on his chest. "That was... incredible."
You lay there for a moment, your heart racing, your body tingling with afterglow. The awkwardness was gone, replaced by a profound sense of connection.
"But wait," you said, your voice shaky. "I thought you said we'd go slow."
He chuckled softly, the vibration rumbling through his chest. "We can go slow later. Right now, I just want you. I don't want to wait anymore."
He leaned down and kissed you, his lips gentle. "I'm going to make you mine, and I'm going to make sure you're never lonely again."
The conversation was brief and the feelings were unspoken, but the bond between you was stronger than ever. He was no longer the shy nerd from down the hall; he was your man.
Later that night, before you had cleaned up and changed into fresh clothes, you decided to take a bath to relax your muscles. Jake insisted on joining you.
"I'll be right back," he said, before disappearing from the bathroom.
When he returned, he was wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. The sight of his hard body made you swallow hard. He climbed into the tub with you, the water filling the space between your legs.
He kissed you deeply, his hands exploring your body. His mouth was everywhere, His mouth was everywhere, his lips and tongue tracing paths of fire across your wet skin. He paid special attention to your breasts, his teeth gently scraping your nipples before soothing them with his tongue. You arched your back, pushing your chest closer to his mouth, a soft moan escaping your lips. The warm water sloshed around you, amplifying every sensation.
"I can't get enough of you," he groaned, his voice husky with desire. "I've been dreaming about this for years."
His confession hung in the steamy air, but you were too lost in the haze of pleasure to fully process its weight. Years. The thought sent a thrill through you, but it was quickly drowned out by the feeling of his hand sliding down your stomach, his fingers finding your clit beneath the water.
He circled the sensitive nub with a practiced ease that surprised you, his other hand gripping your hip to hold you steady. You squirmed, the stimulation almost too much.
"Jake," you whimpered, your head falling back against the tiled edge of the tub. "Please..."
"Please what, baby?" he murmured, his lips brushing against your ear. "Tell me what you want."
"I want you," you breathed, your voice ragged. "I want you inside me again."
He didn't need to be told twice. He shifted, positioning himself between your legs. His towel, long undone from his waist. This time, there was no hesitation, no slow, gentle entry. He drove into you in one smooth, deep stroke, filling you completely. You cried out, your hands gripping the sides of the tub as he began to move.
The water around you churned with his powerful thrusts, splashing onto the floor. He set a punishing pace, his hips snapping against yours, each thrust hitting that spot deep inside you that made you see stars. He was rougher this time, more primal, his hands gripping your thighs, pulling you closer, deeper.
"You're so fucking tight," he grunted, his eyes locked on yours, his pupils blown with lust. "So perfect for me."
The words sent a jolt of pleasure straight to your core. You turned and wrapped your legs around his waist, meeting him thrust for thrust, the sound of your bodies slapping together echoing in the small bathroom. It was raw, it was messy, it was perfect.
"I'm close," you gasped, your body tightening around him.
"Come for me, baby," he commanded, his thumb finding your clit and rubbing it in tight circles. "Let me feel you."
That was all it took. Your orgasm crashed over you, a wave of pure ecstasy that left you breathless and trembling. Your walls clenched around him, milking him as he found his own release, his hot seed spilling deep inside you.
He collapsed against you, both of you panting, your bodies slick with water and sweat. For a long moment, you just stayed like that, tangled together in the aftermath of your passion.
Finally, he pulled out, helping you stand up on shaky legs. He wrapped you in a fluffy towel, his touch gentle now, a stark contrast to the ferocity of his lovemaking.
"My friends aren't coming back tonight," you said softly, looking up at him. "They're staying at another hotel for a party."
A slow, wicked grin spread across his face. "Good," he said, scooping you up into his arms and carrying you towards the bed. "Because I'm not done with you yet." This was so surprising to you, Sim Jaeyun having a wild side to him. That was oddly hot but his sex drive was no joke.
He laid you down on the soft sheets, his body covering yours once more. This time, there was no urgency, no desperation. His touch was slow, deliberate, worshipful. He explored every inch of your body, his lips and hands leaving a trail of fire in their wake.
You lost track of how many times you came that night, how many times he filled you, how many times you cried out his name. It was a blur of pleasure and passion, a night you knew you would never forget.
When you finally collapsed into an exhausted heap, tangled in the sheets, the sun was just beginning to peek through the curtains. Jake was spooned behind you, his arm wrapped tightly around your waist, his breath warm against your neck.
You should have been talking, confessing your feelings, defining what this was. But you didn't. You were too tired, too sated, too scared to ruin the perfect moment with words that might not be what the other wanted to hear.
So you just lay there, in the quiet of the early morning, and let the silence speak for you. It was enough for now. But you both knew, deep down, that this was far from over. The trip was ending, but your story was just beginning.
The final day of the trip arrived with a bittersweet lightheartedness. Taeyeong was out of the picture now. You and Jake had spent the morning packing, fingers brushing and eyes lingering a little too long. The awkward tension that had plagued you after the makeout in bedroom had dissipated during the sea of the night, replaced by a heavy, unspoken understanding. That evening, you had gone to the fair with your friends, a chaotic blur of cotton candy, carnival games, and laughter. You remembered how Jake had insisted on holding your hand the entire time, his thumb stroking your knuckles with a gentle rhythm that made your heart do somersaults. He was your first in every sense of the word, and you were his. It was perfect, but it was also a ghost story. The memory of that perfect night lingered, but the reality of the semester looming ahead cast a long shadow. The "fake" aspect had long ago faded, replaced by something real, something terrifyingly beautiful. You didn't talk about it, you didn't define it, you just existed in the space between the two, terrified to breathe life into the words that might shatter the fragile peace.
The new semester started, and the world seemed to return to normal, but the peace was a lie. You met Jake, shared classes, and engaged in the same friendly banter, but it was a strained, fragile thing. You were careful, especially you. You avoided being alone with him, limiting your interactions to the safety of your friend group. Jake, on the other hand, seemed to be living a double life. You saw glimpses of the man who had held you through the night, the man who knew your body and your soul, but he was hiding it, trying to keep things simple, trying to give you space. You were a mystery to him now, a puzzle he couldn't solve. One day, you realized you had missed your period. The realization hit you like a physical blow, and the sea of despair that had been building since the trip began to drown you. You stopped visiting Jake's apartment for movie nights, stopped answering his texts, and even went so far as to leave before he could catch you in the hallways. You sat in the back of your shared classes, distant and cold, your mind racing with terrifying possibilities. Was it a mistake? Could pills fail? What if you were pregnant? The fear was paralyzing, and you didn't know how to approach Jake, how to tell him, or how to face him if you were.
Jake, however, was not oblivious. He saw the way you looked at him, the way you avoided his gaze, the way you retreated when things got too intimate. He was reaching his limit. He sat in his apartment, the smell of alcohol thick in the air, staring at your name on his phone screen for the tenth time. He drank himself into a stupor, the only thing keeping him from calling you the hundredth time. He was hurting, deeply and profoundly. The love he had for you was a physical ache, a constant reminder of the distance you were putting between you.
Around midnight, you heard a frantic knocking at your door. You opened it, half-asleep, and were immediately met with a sight that made your blood run cold. Jake was standing there, swaying on clear concrete, his eyes red-rimmed and unfocused. He looked like a wreck.
"Jaeyun? What have you done to yourself?"
You rushed to catch him as he stumbled forward, his face collapsing onto your neck. You tried to steady him, You patted his back but he only tightened his grip, his arms wrapping around you like a vice. He buried his face in your neck, his breath hot and ragged, mumbling incoherent words.
"Please don't push me away."
Your heart shattered at the raw pain in his voice. You realized then that he was crying, tears hot and fast sliding down your neck.
"Jaeyun? Are you crying?"
You panicked, forcing him to face you. You wiped his cheeks, but the tears kept coming. He clung to your hands, leaning into your touch, pouring out his confusion.
"Why do you always run away when things get real? Do you not see my feelings for you? Why do you always throw me away? I get hurt too, you know..."
Guilt washed over you. You never wanted to hurt him. You were scaredโscared of trusting someone again after Taeyeong. You knew Jake was nothing like him, but the fear was paralyzing. You loved him, god, you loved him. But the pregnancy scare had felt like a disaster waiting to happen. You felt like you were drowning, overwhelmed by the fast pace of a fake relationship that had become so real so quickly.
"I'm so sorry, Jaeyun," you whispered, your voice trembling. "I was scared."
"Am I the easiest thing for you to throw away?" he asked, his voice cracking.
You shook your head frantically. "No, I don't want you to think that."
"I love you so much! Why can't you see that? Was it not obvious? I have been in love with you for four years, dammit!" Jake broke.
Your eyes widened. You were oblivious. You had no idea. It changed everything. It made the fear of pregnancy pale in comparison to the depth of his love.
"God, Jake! No... listen to me," you said, pulling him into a tight hug. "I never meant to hurt you. When we got back from the trip, I missed my period. I got scared... pills don't always work. I thought I was pregnant. I felt so lost, I didn't know what to do, and I was too scared to tell you. I love you too, Jaeyun. I fell for you the first time you showed up with your Lego car to comfort me."
You apologized profusely, burying your face in his chest. Jake sobered up instantly, the alcohol fading from his system. He pulled back slightly, looking at you with wide, watery eyes. "What do you mean... you fell for me then? But we..."
"I know, I know. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I was scared. I love you, Jake. I really do."
Jake stared at you for a long moment, the silence stretching between you. Then, he smiled, a small, relieved smile. "I love you too," he whispered, leaning in to kiss you.
The kiss was gentle, a sweet, lingering expression of relief and love. It wasn't the frantic, desperate kiss of the seashore or the hotel room. It was a kiss that spoke of promises, of forever. He pulled back, resting his forehead against yours, his eyes crinkling with affection.
"Let's go inside," he said softly, his voice low and husky. "I need to hold you properly."
You nodded, letting him lead you inside. The apartment was dimly lit, the air cool. You sat on the couch, and he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close. The air was thick with unspoken words, but for the first time in months, you didn't feel the need to hide them. You talked for hours, clearing the air, defining your relationship, and promising to never run away again.
"I was so scared," you admitted, your head resting on his chest. "I was scared of getting pregnant, scared of losing you, scared of hurting you. But you've proven to me that you're not him. You're not Taeyeong."
"I'm not him," he said firmly, his hand rubbing your back. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm here to stay."
"I know," you said, feeling a sense of peace wash over you. "I love you, Jake."
"I love you more," he replied, kissing the top of your head.
You spent the rest of the night cuddling, kissing, and making up. It was a sweet, intimate time that solidified your relationship. You weren't just friends anymore, and you weren't just fake dating anymore. You were a couple, truly and deeply in love.
As the night drew to a close, Jake looked at you with a smirk. "So, about that 'just friends' label..."
"I think we can drop that now," you said, smiling back.
He leaned in and kissed you, a sweet, lingering kiss that was the beginning of your new chapter in life with him.
THE END.
Lesson : โSometimes, silence is the biggest enemy of love. You were so afraid of the outcome that you let your fear drive a wedge between you, choosing to run away rather than face the possibility of imperfection. But you learned that love isn't about knowing exactly how things will end; it's about having the courage to face the messiness of the present together. Communication is the bridge over the gap of fear, and without it, even the strongest connection can drown.โ
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ : Bf!Park Sunghoon x OC
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ : When Park Sunghoon comes to pick up his girlfriend from work, he catches someone flirting with herโand suddenly, the car ride home turns into something a lot less innocent than it was supposed to be.
๐๐ : ~3.5k (ish) of pure โPark Sunghoon is down bad and no one can save himโ energy.
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ : Diet Pepsi โ Addison Rae
Slow Hands โ Niall Horan
guilty as sin? โ Taylor Swift
cardigan โ Taylor Swift
Earned It โ The Weeknd
Glue Song โ beabadoobee
I Wanna Be Yours โ Arctic Monkeys
๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ :
this is literally just a random sunghoon x miyeon scenario outside my main book โwe canโt be friendsโ on wattpad ๐ญ
i just wanted to write them in a different universe where sunghoon picks her up from work and suddenly forgets how to act normal because someone was flirting with her and heโs justโฆ yeah. jealous hoon supremacy.
also this is my first time writing smut/suggestive stuff sooo be nice to me pls ๐ญ iโm still learning how to write tension without making everything explode immediately
this is not connected to the main story at all, just a little side brainrot i couldnโt stop thinking about
anywaysโฆ enjoy my mentally unstable couple <3
The office lobby hummed with the quiet energy of quitting time. Sunghoon leaned against the hood of his car, phone in hand, scrolling through messages he'd already read three times. He checked his watch againโ7:14 PM. Miyeon was supposed to be out at seven.
Just as he was about to text her, the glass doors slid open. There she was, laughing at something her coworker was saying. Sunghoon's fingers tightened around his phone when he recognized the guyโMinsik from accounting, who always found excuses to talk to Miyeon.
What made his chest tighten was seeing Minsik's hand linger on Miyeon's arm as he spoke, his body angled just a little too close. Miyeon's smile was polite but distant, the one she used when she was being nice but wanted space. Sunghoon knew that smile intimately.
He didn't move. Just watched. Still as a predator observing its territory. The calm before the storm he was about to unleash in the confines of his car.
Finally, Miyeon extracted herself gracefully, waving goodbye as she turned toward the parking lot. When she spotted Sunghoon, her smile transformed into something genuineโthe one reserved only for him.
"Sorry I'm late," she said as she reached the passenger door. "Minsik was telling me aboutโ"
Sunghoon didn't respond, just opened her door before she could. His jaw was tight, eyes dark as he slid into the driver's seat. The moment the car doors closed, the silence became thick with everything unsaid.
Miyeon sighed softly, knowing what was coming. She reached over, placing her hand on his thigh. "He was just talking about the quarterly reports, Hoon. Nothing else."
Sunghoon's eyes remained fixed on the road as he pulled out of the parking spot. "He touched you."
"It was justโ"
"His hand was on your arm for forty-two seconds," Sunghoon interrupted, his voice low. "I counted."
Miyeon's heart stuttered. Of course he had. Sunghoon noticed everything when it came to her. Especially when other men noticed her too.
"He's harmless," she tried, but her voice lacked conviction.
Sunghoon didn't respond until they were stopped at a red light, turning to face her fully. His eyes were dark with something she knew all too wellโpossessiveness wrapped in vulnerability, jealousy softened by insecurity.
"You're mine, right?" he asked, the question hanging between them like always when this happened.
Instead of answering, Miyeon leaned across the console, pressing her lips to his. The kiss was soft at first, then deepening as Sunghoon's fingers tangled in her hair, pulling her closer. The car horn behind them made them jump apart, the light having turned green.
Sunghoon accelerated through the intersection, his knuckles white on the steering wheel. "Not here," he said, his voice rough. "Home."
The rest of the drive passed in charged silence. When they finally pulled into his garage, Sunghoon killed the engine but didn't move to get out. He turned to her, eyes searching hers in the dim light.
"Sometimes I wonder," he started, then stopped himself, shaking his head. "Never mind."
"Say it," Miyeon urged softly.
"I wonder if you'd leave me for someone normal," he admitted quietly. "Someone you don't have to hide."
Miyeon's heart ached. For all his quiet confidence, Sunghoon carried this insecurityโtheir secret relationship, her being his best friend's little sister, the sneaking aroundโit wore on him more than he let on.
She undid her seatbelt and climbed into his lap, straddling him in the driver's seat. The position was awkward, intimate, perfect.
"Look at me," she commanded gently, tilting his chin up until their eyes met. "There is no one else. There's never been anyone else that made me feel like this. That makes me feel safe and wanted andโ"
She was cut off by his mouth crashing against hers, hungry and desperate. His hands roamed her back, pulling her impossibly closer as if she might disappear. The kiss was messy, emotional, everything they couldn't show the world.
"Miyeon," he breathed against her lips, his voice ragged. "I need you."
"I'm right here," she promised, sealing her words with another kiss. "Always."
His fingers slipped under her blouse, tracing the skin of her waist. "Sometimes I hate that I can't take you on proper dates. Can't hold your hand in public. Can't tell anyone how much I love you."
"We have this," she whispered, rocking against him. "This is ours."
Sunghoon's eyes closed, his forehead resting against hers. "I'm sorry I get like this."
"Don't be," she replied softly. "I'd rather have your jealous possessiveness than indifference any day."
A small smile touched his lips. "Even when I'm being an idiot?"
"Especially then," she teased, then sobered. "But you know you have nothing to worry about, right?"
His gaze intensified. "Do I?"
Instead of answering with words, Miyeon showed him. Her hands moved to his belt buckle, deftly undoing it as her lips found that sensitive spot just below his ear. Sunghoon's breath hitched, his hands gripping her hips.
"Here?" he asked, even as he adjusted his seat to give them more room.
"Right here," she confirmed, her voice husky with desire. "Right now."
"You're killing me," he whispered, turning to look at her. His voice was wrecked, thick with want. "Just... get in the backseat."
Miyeon didn't ask questions. She scrambled over the center console, her skirt riding up as she moved, and dropped into the darkened backseat just as Sunghoon killed the lights.
The garage door was already down, plunging them into near darkness, save for the faint glow from the streetlights filtering through the vents. The air smelled of expensive leather and the sudden, heavy tension of two people starved for each other.
Sunghoon didn't hesitate. He kicked the door open and followed her in, collapsing onto the seat beside her. The movement jolted the car, but he didn't care. He pulled her against him, his lips crashing down on hers with a desperate, hungry intensity that took her breath away.
"MmhโHoon," she gasped against his mouth.
"Mine," he mumbled against her lips, his hands roaming frantically under her top, his palms burning a path across her skin. "You have no idea how much I needed this."
His usually composed, cool exterior was completely shattered; he was a mess of trembling hands and ragged breathing, worshipping her body like she was made of glass and starlight. He kissed her neck, his tongue tracing the rapid pulse in her throat, nipping gently at the sensitive skin, drawing a soft moan from her lips.
"God, Miyeon," he groaned, his voice rough. "You smell so good."
He pushed her back against the seat, spreading her legs with his knees, his hands sliding up her thighs to cup her through her panties. The fabric was damp, and the contact made them both shudder.
"Look at me," Sunghoon commanded softly, his fingers hooking into the waistband. "I want to see you when I make you come."
Miyeon nodded, her eyes fluttering open to meet his dark, intense gaze. He was gentle in his dominance, but the desperation in his eyes made him terrifyingly effective.
He slid her panties aside, his thumb circling her clit with agonizing precision. "You're so wet for me," he whispered reverently, as if he were admiring a masterpiece. "Do you know what you do to me? Every time you smile, I get hard. Every time you laugh..."
He lowered his head between her thighs, his breath hot against her skin. "I'm going to eat you alive, Miyeon. I'm going to memorize the taste of you."
He didn't give her time to adjust. He kneeled down in the cramped space. His mouth was on her immediately, his tongue licking a bold, wet line from her entrance to her clit. Miyeon cried out, her back arching off the leather seat, her hands tangling in his dark hair.
Sunghoon worshipped her. He treated her body like the most precious thing in the world, his tongue and fingers working her with a focused, desperate rhythm that had her seeing stars. He made little sounds of approval against her skin, humming as he tasted her, as if he were starving and she was the only food that would satisfy him.
"Please," she begged, her legs trembling around his shoulders. "Hoon, please."
Sunghoon groaned, the sound vibrating against her thigh as he pulled back just enough to catch his breath. His eyes were dark, dilated, completely consumed by her. He looked wrecked, just like she felt, and the sight of himโflushed, hair messy, lips glistening from herโalmost made her come again.
"God, Miyeon," he breathed, his voice rough with unshed desire. "You taste like heaven."
He didn't give her time to recover. He got up and sat himself on the seat, pulling her on his lap while pulling out a condom from his back pocket. His hands trembled as he finally undid his belt and pushed his pants and boxers down just enough to free himself. He rolled on a condom with clumsy, desperate fingers, and Miyeon watched him, her chest heaving.
He positioned himself between her thighs, his hands bracketing her head as he leaned down. The car smelled of them nowโher arousal and his scent, musky and overwhelming.
"I'm going to be so good to you," he promised, his forehead resting against hers. "I promise. Just tell me what you need."
"Need you," she choked out. "Need you inside me."
Sunghoon smiledโa small, tender expression that made his face look boyish before it was overtaken by the heat in his gaze. He guided himself to her entrance, the tip nudging against her wetness. He was big, heavy and thick, and the stretch as he pushed in was deliciously painful.
He pushed slowly, inch by agonizing inch, watching her face the entire time. "You're so tight," he whispered reverently. "So perfect. I'm going to memorize every inch of you, Miyeon. Every curve, every sound, every way you squeeze me."
When he was fully seated, buried deep inside her, they both froze, trying to catch their breath. Sunghoon rested his forehead against hers, his hands tracing her jaw, her neck, her collarbone, as if he was afraid to touch her too roughly.
"You feel so good," he murmured, his hips twitching slightly, testing the waters.
Then he began to move. Slowly. Deeply. He wasn't rushing; he was worshiping her body, treating her like the fragile, precious thing she was to him. Each thrust was measured, hitting her exactly where she needed it, sending sparks of pleasure shooting through her spine.
"You're mine," he said again, his voice dropping to a growl as he picked up the pace just a fraction, his hips rocking against hers with a steady, relentless rhythm. "No one else can see you like this. No one else can hear you sound like this."
Miyeon's hands clawed at his back, her nails digging into his skin as she arched up to meet him. "Hoonโ" she gasped, her head falling back against the seat. "Yes, just like that."
He leaned down to capture her mouth, swallowing her cries, his tongue tangling with hers in a desperate, messy kiss. He kissed her like he was starving, like she was the only thing that mattered in the world. His hands roamed her body, squeezing her breasts, tracing the lines of her waist, memorizing her.
"You're so beautiful," he breathed against her lips. "You're so beautiful when you look at me like that."
He reached between them, his fingers finding her clit again, rubbing it in time with his thrusts. "Come for me, Miyeon. I want to see you fall apart."
The added friction was too much. Miyeonโs vision blurred, her back bowing off the leather seat as she shattered around him. Her walls clenched tight around his cock, milking him, and Sunghoon hissed, his hips snapping forward one last time.
"Mine," he roared, his hands gripping her hips tightly as he came, filling her up with hot, heavy bursts of release. He stilled, his forehead resting on her shoulder, his body shaking as he rode out his orgasm.
He held her close, burying his face in the crook of her neck, taking deep, shaky breaths as he held her. "I love you," he whispered against her skin, his voice thick with emotion. "So much. You have no idea how much I love you."
"I know," she whispered back, running her fingers through his hair, tugging gently. "And I love you too, you big baby."
Sunghoon lifted his head, his eyes soft and loving as he looked at her. He kissed her forehead, her nose, her lips, all with a tenderness that made her heart swell.
"You're everything," he said softly. "Everything."
The windows of the car began to fog as they lost themselves in each other, secret touches and whispered promises filling the small space. Outside, the world went on unaware, but inside their little bubble, there was only Sunghoon and Miyeon and the certainty that they belonged to each other completely.
The car was filled with the quiet sounds of their heavy breathing, the only proof of what had just happened. Sunghoon pulled out slowly, and Miyeon winced slightly at the sensation of emptiness. Sunghoon noticed instantly. He didn't pull away completely; he held her close, pressing soft, apologetic kisses to her shoulder as he grabbed the tissues from the glove compartment.
"I'm sorry," he murmured, his voice thick with regret. "Was I too rough? Did I hurt you?"
He cleaned her with careful, deliberate motions, his eyes never leaving her face, as if checking for any sign of distress. His thumb brushed over her cheekbone, his touch feather-light. "You're so sensitive," he whispered reverently. "You're so perfect for me."
He discarded the soiled tissue and pulled her back against his chest, wrapping his arms around her waist. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent deeply, like a man marking his territory.
Later, as they lay tangled in the back seat, Miyeon traced patterns on Sunghoon's chest.
"You know," she said softly, "if you ever feel insecure, you could just kiss me like that instead of getting all quiet and broody."
Sunghoon's arms tightened around her. "I'll keep that in mind."
"Good," she murmured, pressing a kiss to his collarbone. "Because you're mine too, Park Sunghoon. Remember that."
His response was a soft kiss to her forehead, then her lips, then her neckโworshipping her as he always did when his heart felt too full of emotion to contain.
"Always," he whispered against her skin. "Always yours."
"I could stay here like this forever," he sighed, his hands stroking her sides in slow, soothing circles. "Just you and me in the dark. No one else."
Miyeon in his arms, her fingers tangling in his sweaty hair as she looked up at him. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else," she said softly.
Sunghoon kissed her again, slow and deep, tasting himself on her lips. It was messy and affectionate, a quiet acknowledgment of everything they shared. When he pulled back, he looked at her with such intense adoration it made her heart ache.
"You're my everything," he said, his voice barely a whisper. "I'd burn the world down just to keep you safe. Just to keep you mine."
He helped her rearrange her clothes, his hands lingering on her hips, her waist, before pulling his own pants back up. The car was still dark, the silence between them heavy but comfortable.
"You've got marks on your neck," he murmured, his finger tracing the hickey he'd left there a while ago. "And on your shoulder. I should have been more careful."
Sunghoon reached up to kiss the spot gently, a soft, chaste kiss that spoke volumes. "But I like them," he confessed. "They're proof. Proof that you're mine."
He opened the car door and stepped out, offering her his hand to help her up. As she climbed out, he kept a firm grip on her hand, his fingers interlacing with hers, refusing to let go.
"Come on," he said, leading her toward the house. "Let's get you warmed up. And then," he glanced at her with a wicked, possessive glint in his eyes, "I'm never letting you go to work alone again."
Miyeon squeezed his hand, a smile playing on her lips. "Deal."
They walked inside, the two of them connected by touch, hearts racing, and secrets kept safe in the dark.
