The Anecdotes Of An AroAce

Just a girl learning how strange her internal monologue is 🎵 A kingdom of isolation, and it looks like I’m the Queen 🎵 She/her

[dulcetsuggestions]

Indulge yourself. Do what you enjoy. Buy something you want. Take yourself out. Stay inside. Nap. Eat. Say no. It’s okay to be a little selfish sometimes.

[sanguinifex]

You gotta read and watch some old books and films that aren’t 100% modern politically correct. I’m not saying you should agree with everything in them but you need to learn where genres came from to understand what those genres are doing today and where media deconstructing old tropes is coming from.

Also, more often than you might think, they’re not actually promoting bigotry so much as “didn’t consider all the implications of something” or just used words that were polite then but considered offensive now.

Kill the censor in your head.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

When we choose to avoid history because it's Problematic or Says Bad Things, we are choosing to divorce ourselves from understanding how we came from that time to this one, which makes it even more likely for the cycle to repeat, with no one but a few people with shelves of old books aware that it's happened before.

[recoverr-deactivated20220605]

having a quiet life is so.. underrated. i don’t mean it in the sense that people who’re open and loud and busy aren’t important, but when our culture has significantly put so much emphasis on the definition of success as fame, extraordinary accomplishments, greatness and importance and excessive wealth, i think there is so much power to be found in our own anonymity. in the silence of life. in not being constantly perceived, analyzed and performing for the world. in being able to take a walk, smile at strangers and just notice the world without all that noise. taking the biggest pleasure out of the smallest joys, like a cup of coffee or blowing out birthday candles. knowing that our lives don’t have to be a grand spectacle for others in order to have worth and cause a good impact.

[imgae-insertshockedgasps-16]

"how to tell if you have a crush"

"what do crushes feel like"

"how to tell if you like someone"

"am i in love"

"do i want to date them"

"do i have a crush"

"am i gay" quiz results: "you're pan! you're attracted to personality rather than body! you feel the same about every gender!"

"is this arousal"

"how to tell if you're aroused"

"am i horny"

"how to tell if you're attracted to someone"

"what does sexual attraction feel like"

"how to tell if someone is attracted to you"

"how to tell if you feel romantic feelings"

"how to tell if you feel sexual feelings"

"do i feel romantic feelings"

"do i feel sexual feelings"

....."define asexual"

....."define aromantic"

[the-frog-blog-deactivated202510]

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually

[softdaisie]

your mistakes do not define you. the trajectory of your life is not ruined because of one slip up. keep going. do not let this moment fester in your mind forever. it can be easy to keep analyzing your mistakes and wondering where you went wrong. but fight the voices that tell you that you could have done better. you are trying your best 🌱☀️

[obsidian3ye]

I WISH ROMANTIC FEELINGS HAD A REAL FUCKING DEFINITION!!!!!

"Butterflies in your tummy" I get that every time I talk to anyone because I'm an anxious wreck

"Ohh you get all blushy" I blush whenever I remember literally any compliment from anyone. I blush when someone says I blink robotically. I blush when I remember that time my driving instructor said I went through a stop sign correctly.

"You get nervous when thinking about them" I'm always nervous.

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!

[aspecmemesdaily]

Source | Day 10

[fishparasite]

you will live and you will say the wrong things and make mistakes and people will love you anyways.

[fishparasite]

i made this post because i've got so many friends that think saying something wrong in a conversation is the end of the world. it isn't. you'll be okay. you don't have to be embarrassed about every little thing. you are alive and doing things and speaking to people. you will make mistakes and you will live.

[arofutures]

I think people who consider aromanticism as "basically straight" underestimate how noticeable absence can be to those around you.

Whether you're a kid in school with classmates who won't take "no one" as an answer to who you have a crush on or an adult whose coworkers have picked up on the fact that you've never mentioned a romantic partner; after enough time, a lack or insufficient amount of romantic interest will raise the antennae of friends, family, coworkers, etc... They will notice and they will speculate and they will ask.

It is impossible to meet the societal bar for straightness through inaction.

[ale-arro]

we will never achieve gender liberation without deconstructing amatonormativity. btw

[kaosuqi]

im all for that but... why's that?????

[ale-arro]

romantic relationships as they currently exist are concepts that a) reinforce a gender binary, b) punishes people (usually women) for not filling their roles as dictated by the binary, and c) breed violence and other ways of enforcing a gender hierarchy.

heteronormativity as it currently exists is built on amatonormativity, and heteronormativity requires a gender binary. there is no space for people other than "men" and "women" in a heteronormative society. Furthermore, there is no room for ambiguity in how people are "men" or "women." Womanhood in particular is strongly built around the idea of desiring romantic relationships with men; not being in a relationship (particularly when older) is seen as a failure. Furthermore, not being in a relationship with a man is seen as being a "failed woman." Lesbian and aspec communities have long talked about the way that they are denied womanhood by virtue of not being romantically attracted to men (my personal experience is that men's experience with romance is less policed than women's experience with romance; however, I'm sure there are also cases of gay men being seen as failed men for not being romantically attracted to women). The old maid or unmarried crazy cat lady archetypes are clear demonstrations of this--women are disproportionately judged for being single as older adults. Even in feminist circles, there is the stereotype of the unmarried "wine aunt." While not as explicitly derogatory towards women, and indeed sometimes celebratory, this still enforces a gender divide, since there is no corresponding "wine uncle" stereotype.

Furthermore, a society that is oriented around monogamous partnerships that are more significant than other relationships is a huge contributing factor to domestic partner violence. Abuse thrives on hierarchy, and having a strong hierarchy of relationships, where romantic relationships are more important than others, creates an environment where abuse can easily occur. It is much more easy to isolate someone from their other relationships when the romantic relationship is seen as most central, and it is much more easy to abuse someone who is isolated. It's harder to escape abusive relationships when it's the strongest relationship in your life. On top of that, when it comes to m-f relationships where the man is the abuser, the way that womanhood is built on romantic relationships can encourage the woman to act they like are in a successful, happy relationship, or doubly fear being alone if they were to leave a relationship, and on top of that genuinely does make them more alone if they were to leave.

[estragonsgayass]

[cattrappedinahumanbody]

Amazing how my masters dissertation has evolved from:

I'm going to talk generally about aromanticism!!

To:

Dear void,

Philosophy is full of amatonormative bullshit. It promotes and advocates for amatonormative bullshit. There is not a single article in the philosophical discussion of relationships and love that does not succumb to amatonormative bullshit. The very term 'amatonormativity' was coined by philosopher Elizabeth Brake back in 2012. So why is it the case that 12 years later, finding philosophical engagement with amatonormativity is akin to finding a needle in a haystack? Aromantic analysis and theory was needed in the discipline 10 years ago. It is a moral and epistemological necessity to develop and include aromantic analysis and theory within philosophy. Aromanticism has been overlooked, dismissed and invalidated by philosophy for too long. The discipline needs aromanticism now, and I'll be damned if I sit back and allow this ignorance to continue.

Philosophy? Do. Better.

Yours wrathfully,

An aro-spec.

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

i promise your opportunity to succeed won’t go away when you turn a certain age. there’s still time.

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

*bops you repeatedly but gently on the head* you. will. make. it. through. this.

[daily-reminders-that-ur-enough]

you are doing a good job.

[arowitharrows]

I don't want a romantic partner I want friends who will go dumpster diving with me, I want neighbors who will knock on my door and ask for butter because they forgot to buy some and it's sunday. I want book shelves in public spaces, food banks and shared tool sheds and community gardens. I want to trade home grown tomatoes for a couple of eggs with my neighbor and I want to bring food over to my friends house when I've cooked too much. I want bicycle only streets and I want people to go on spontaneous walks with. I want people to ask me for help when they need it and I want to be able to ask for help in return. I want community as a safety net. I want people to stop focusing on the vague concept of the one, who will Cure All Isolation and Loneliness. I want every single person to be able to find support and comfort around them, regardless of their relationship status.