Just Another Cottager

Hi, I'm Sarah and HR is my newest hyperfixation

[thisfeebleheart]

Rozanov looked exhausted. He had dark rings under his eyes, and his face was very pale. But the most noticeable—and alarming—change was in his eyes. The playful spark that always made Rozanov’s hazel eyes dance was just…gone. Extinguished.

[bugslibraryy]

wait. let’s think more about shane letting ilya shave him there? he’s been doing it himself, but it’s always so tricky, so frustrating. ilya walks in on shane with a leg on the bathroom counter, trying to get himself spread well enough to shave around the hole. ilya’s brain momentarily goes offline at the scene. and then he sees how close shane is to nicking himself in the awkward position and his hand flies up to stop shane’s hand in it’s tracks. how flustered shane would be?? how ilya would have to coax him a bit into letting him do it for him. ”my love, you will hurt yourself” he’s actually terrified of the sharp razor that close his favorite sweet hole like that

Hi baby bug!

Yes I love this idea! I think Ilya and Shane would love caring for each other like that. Like Shane is doing Ilya’s curly hair routine for him, in the shower and then Ilya sat between his legs on the floor, Shane at the edge of the bed, working his products into his hair with careful scrunched and rolls of his fingers to seperate them out.

Shane prefers Ilya mostly ungroomed, likes his thick snail trail and pubes and Ilya doesn’t mind, he’ll keep himself however Shane likes, but Shane will happily be the one to trim him for a bit of upkeep. Ilya in turn, of course insisted he would do the same for Shane, who likes to keep a small amount of hair, trimmed down close to the skin at the base of his cock, shaves away his treasure tail. Ilya approaches it with gentle focus and attention that makes Shane a bit dizzy, the way he gently touches him, asks Shane is its right, good, how he likes. And so they do that for a long time but at the start of the relationship maybe Shane feels a little more shy to have Ilya help him shave his asshole.

It’s like. Not flattering the way he needs to position himself and a little tricky and Shane gets nervous about giving someone else that control maybe of a razor on that soft fragile skin. And like whatever maybe it’s not like sexy he thinks for Ilya to do that, and like do couples do that? He doesn’t know.

Anyway- Ilya walks in one day when Shane is shaving there, leg awkwardly balancing and a carefully positioned mirror and Ilya is like Shane? What are you doing you’re going to hurt yourself! And Shane is shy because he thought Ilya would be gone longer on his run and it’s like it’s fine it’s just Ilya but. It’s not a pretty scene he thinks. Ilya walks up and before Shane can say anything at all- Ilya is repositioning Shane with gentle hands, taking the razor and spilling more of Shane’s shaving oil onto his skin and Shane just turns his head to watch Ilya, his face pinched in concentration as he gently shaves him as close to bare as he can get it, how shane likes it here.

“You nearly give me heart attack sweetheart, my poor little hole and you are holding him at knife point. This looks very uncomfortable” Ilya teases but his voice is warm and loving, thumb rubbing at the warm skin of Shane’s ass as he shaves him, going about it like it’s soemthing he’s always done. Shane tells him to shut up but he’s biting back his smile

And it’s- it’s okay, it’s fine, it’s easy, and Shane wants to laugh at himself because of course it is, it’s his Ilya and Shane is yet to find anything that is scarier with Ilya- of course this is fine, of course Ilya is gentle and sweet and attentive with him, chats to him about what he wants to eat for dinner and that they need to get the sheets into the dryer so they will be fresh and crisp for the bed tonight like Shane likes.

It escalated from there, and it becomes their thing, that Ilya does this for him. Looks after him, buys an after shave “intimate area safe” balm to prevent ingrowns. Eventually Ilya brings up the idea of waxing, asked one night after their shower and shaving and they are laying in bed. Tells Shane ‘you know it lasts longer, its smoother and no ingrowns, you hate those Shane, and I can do- I looked up good wax for sensitive skin” and Shane is like “oh” all flushed and smiling and “maybe okay, if you were doing it, I’ve never- I just don’t think I could have gone somewhere for that- and I couldn’t do it myself” and Ilya is like “hmm ok then we try yes? See if it’s ok?” And then they do try it, and there’s something kinda hot about it how vulnerable it is, how Ilya is looking after him, how he did so much research and has so many products ? To make it the best he can for Shane, comfortable and most smooth. And Shane is so smooth after- so smooth and Shane feels even more sensitive there, after that, the touch of Ilya’s finger makes him wine, but especially after the heat of the wax and tingle after pulling it away.

They fuck like crazy about it after of course, shane can’t believe how different Ilya’s tongue feels like this- how crazy it feels slick with Ilya’s spit and lube. He cums three times and it’s safe to say waxing becomes their new thing.

[avantgarden-er]

Nasty, nasty, nasty, evil work…

[mothsartart]

eeeeeelya

[souvenirs]

[spitfaggot]

happy birthday, gilbert baker. (june 2, 1951 — march 31, 2017)

[just-another-cat-blog]

pride month!!!

[lemonsharks]

Is that a miette?

[jeanjauthor]

Pride for you!  Pride for a thousand years!!

[lost-and-cursed]

you COME OUT to miette? you come out to her as queer? oh! oh! pride for mother! pride for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!

[kwaiflower]

[gngerale]

Hudson Williams visiting (and promoting) a friend's home decor store.

[gaygoatshane]

he couldn't believe he was being asked if he liked girls

[eldritchazure]

[hollanderthoughts]

How come that Boston player keeps body checking you. Bro do something about it

Oh please. What am I supposed to do about it, get hard and still beat Boston? I already do that.

[butimaficwriter]

shane hollander would be so proud of us for putting our memes on a schedule. you want to write about shane's wap? that's on wednesday. you want to get pleaky with it? we do that on tuesdays. friday? shane's favorite

so we're freaky and well organized? that gets the sheal of shapproval

[ilyasmole]

i do think Many women ilya has slept with would post screenshots of their dms w him. there's prob a subreddit just fully dedicated to ilya rozanov sexts. people put them on t-shirts. one day ilya is seen out and about wearing one of them. it says "can i see ur 🦫"

[justanothercottager]

Ilya heard Classified's Oh Canada song when he was at the world juniors and 100% believed that beaver was the only animal Canadians used as a euphemism for vagina, and was subsequently very careful to always code-switch for his sexts with Canadian ladies.

[ambiguityenjoyer]

https://www.tumblr.com/ambiguityenjoyer/818350008978079744/i-wanna-clarify-i-cant-think-about-it-because-it?source=share

Getting the sex talk from your director except not only is it the sex talk, it's the "you didn't ask but this is how it feels in detail" talk 🥲

No no exactly. Utterly brutal stuff.

[justanothercottager]

Yeah, IRL I'd probably be like, "Please. For the love of God. Trust me that either I have my own experience or will ask someone who isn't MY EMPLOYER."

But as a fic premise? Where the power dynamics are pretend and don't impact someone's actual livelihood? Where the boss in question has some insane charisma and radiates competence? And the employees are one freak-for-freak kind of guy and one of the most free-spirited people alive?

That... that is pretty fucking hot to me.

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

ilya telling shane about irina and how they were best friends and he hung out with her all the time and he was her protector and he would skip school on her bad days to brush her hair and make sure she ate something even if it was just tea and she was an angel and you know shane is calculating how best to gently bring up to his husband that that doesn’t sound like it was very fair to child ilya without ilya reacting like a wild fucking animal

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

ilya comes back from therapy with galina like three months after this fight (of course it was a fight) and with the same candor as ashley padilla in then mom confession sketch goes i’m only going to say this once and i’m only going to say it if after i do you promise you will not react no talking no faces no nothing and shane’s on the couch reading like uh. what’s going on? and ilya goes what i have to tell you. Is that I think I was treated unfairly. By my mom. and of course shane makes a face and ilya is reacting like a wild fucking animal

[bambicoded]

with how deeply physical their bond is, i don't think that hollanov ever bothered to develop a safeword. i do think, though, that they developed-- by accident!-- a physical system to tell each other how they are feeling. and it definitely bleeds into their life outside the bedroom, and it's definitely subconscious at this point, and it definitely makes it into the locker room and onto the ice by the time they're both in ottawa.

which means maybe the centaurs have picked up on the fact that hey, sometimes when shane wants ilya to stop doing something, he taps his arm twice. or if ilya wants shane to move one way, he taps him three times. or if he just wants his attention, its a squeeze. which is all relatively normal, and they probably think its cute that they have an unspoken language for communicating with one another.

and then maybe-- by accident!-- it starts taking root as a thing, and then mindlessly troy or wyatt or bood accidentally double pats shane's arm to get him to stop talking to ilya for a moment, and shane thinks for a moment, that was a weird coincidence, and moves on. but then it happens again, and then maybe luca squeezes his arm to get his attention and then bood taps him three times to get him to move aside so he can walk past and shane feels himself flush to the ears and catches ilya's eyes across the room and ilya definitely noticed that too. so now what? they can't full well ask them to stop without saying, hey, so this was a sex thing. but it'd be weird to let it continue... right?

[justanothercottager]

Oh god, send help, my brain is CHEWING on this

Shane is mortified, horrified, scandalized, which for Ilya only makes a hot thing hotter. Voyeurism/team bicycle/locker room gang bang implications and now Shane is adding in his own humiliation kink?

"They know what a good boy you are," Ilya taunts, the next time they fuck. "They see how good you are for me and they want it for themselves. The want to push you around, just like I do."

Shane's stomach twists at the fucked-up pleasure that races through him.

"Should I let them?" Ilya asks. "Should I fuck you after a game and let them all watch? Pass you around? Could be good for team building, yes?"

[framebyconcois]

Nenad Janjatovic, publisher at Vogue Adria about Connor

Behind the scenes

[themoonandmyman]

here's how we can get ilya rozanov testimonial on an episode of animal planet's finding bigfoot

can you imagine the argument this would cause with Hollanov

Shane: you did not see Bigfoot

Ilya: yes I fucking did

Shane: no you didn’t.

Ilya: i know what i saw

Shane: ok so what did it look like

Ilya: he had big fucking feet Shane

[reckless-glitch]

[ramblingandpie]

[Video description: Gritty is turning the crank on a flagpole to raise the Progress Pride Flag. He gesticulates angrily that the flag is not blowing in the wind, then gestures offscreen. The flag begins blowing. As Gritty begins raising the flag more, the camera pans out to show a man in a suit and sunglasses, looking like a stern Secret Service agent, is holding a leafblower that points at the flag. End description.]