who even needs a cohesive blog theme

witch 🐢 ducks 🖤 blogging from the sewers 🕳 🌷

[arekyve]

every time i have to cook i pretend im binghe doing it for shizun and by the time I'm done there's no shizun #noshizun i feel like bingge

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

hey guys feeling demotivated so im making a note challenge!!

1 note: I quit being a sheriff

10 notes: I start a rebellion

100 notes: I take over the dynasty

1,000 notes: I start the first golden age of China

1,000,000,000 notes: idk I seduce qsh or something you guys let me know

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

great news guys I just started a rebellion 👍 thanks for all the support, wish me luck defeating xiang yu!

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

new dynasty new me 😎

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

GUESS WHOSE GOLDEN AAAAAAGE

[qin-shi-huang-di]

STOP REBLOGGING THIS SEDITIOUS POST YOU TRAITOROUS TRAITORS!!!!! THIS IS AN ORDER!!!!!

[stabbydragon]

"Love/sex is what makes us human" Wrong. It's the obsession with rectangles. look around you and count the number of rectangles you see.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#looked up and thought ‘that can’t be hard’#and then my eyes widened with horror as I realized the sheer number of rectangles everywhere#I’m . I’m horrified

It's a good shape!

[penelopepennington]

It's the Royal Academy of Art Young Artist's Summer Show. One of my favourite exhibitions of the year. Like. Not only are the older kids insanely talented, the younger ones' artist statements will just punch you right in the face.

Jeffrey is my cat and he feels like my heart

Click [here] for the full online exhibition

[headspace-hotel]

These are all so good!!! please look at them

I think my favorite is this one

[charlesoberonn]

Mammu! Finius and Ferbingetorix built Rome in a day!

[charlesoberonn]

[charlesoberonn]

[asphor]

I feel like this also implies that rome is somehow being destroyed by the end of the day

[charlesoberonn]

The Emperor Constantine loves Finius and Ferbingetorix's "New Rome" so much that he makes it his new capital and names it after himself.

[asphor]

Yeah that checks out.

What's the doofenschmirtz contraption/scheme of the day?

[charlesoberonn]

Doofenric the Ostrogoth (insert jokes about his daughter Vanessa being "Goth" but in the modern sense) invented a City-Mover-Inator to move Rome across the Danube so his Germanic confederation could sack it.

Thankfully, Agent Pericles stops him by redirecting the Inator to Finius and Ferbingetorix's New Rome instead, moving it to the Bosphorus.

[charlesoberonn]

While Pericles and Doofenric are fighting over the controls of the Inator, it gets accidentally changed to paint remover mode and then fired at a random direction.

Somewhere nearby a painter just finished coloring the statue of the emperor when suddenly all the paint gets removed.

Painter: Aw...

Painter, giving it a second look: Hmmm... 🤔

[charlesoberonn]

Candysseia: What animal even is Pericles?

Finius: We named it "platypus", meaning flat-foot.

Ferbingetorix: On account of his feet being flat.

Candysseia: And where did he come from?

Febingetorix: We have no earthly idea.

[charlesoberonn]

Doofenric the Goth: Pericles the- wait, what animal even are you, Agent Pericles?

Pericles: *hands him papyrus*

Doofenric: *reading* A "platypus", meaning flat-foot... oh, on account of your feet being flat!

[charlesoberonn]

To be clear, the Emperor Constantine looks like Roger Doofenshmirtz.

Also, I agree with everybody who says that Greco-Roman Candace's name should be Candassandra (since nobody believes her warnings).

[dannymans66]

Happy one piece day!!

[phantomrose96]

When you Solo your Leveling

[ghostfiish]

[nerdicornthetrekkie]

[gamechangershow]

Sorry but it's not complete without...

[funny-tik-toks]

[brucespringsteen]

There should be more hours in between midnight and 5 am because I am a night owl and also an early riser morning enjoyer and I need 8 to 10 hours of sleep also

[sufjansjoy]

mm you’re being such an okay boy for daddy. could be better could be worse. you will receive neither reward nor punishment for your forgettable behavior. that’s my okay boy, keep doing whatever …

[queenoforeos]

blackout poetry

[json-derulo]

i'm sorry i didn't respond to your DM for 23 days. the number on the notification icon got really big and i began having irrational anxious thoughts such as "what if people are in there trying to contact me"

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[befikra]

i bet it feels good to be an underwater plant just swaying in sync with the flow of water

[befikra]

[astruma2]

[aeli-tan-art]

Zac Oyama, the man that you are 😂

[harpieisthecarpie]

i need all my non dropout mutuals to know what this is fanart of:

(beautiful work op, chefs kiss [each other])