Shit Posting Is My Kink

I'm just here for the food

[keplercryptids]

i don't "date" and i don't "chill" and i don't "hang out." i make pacts. i swear oaths. i forge unbreakable bonds. this makes me a cool breezy person to take on road trips et cetera

[shencomix]

[teathattast]

[tahthetrickster]

dave benjamin barnes and buster jerry noble

[prettiboifloyd]

dave “mike” benjamin barnes and buster “ike” jerry noble

[pitbolshevik]

rasputin didnt become a fucked up sex wizard until he was like 30. your life doesn't end at 25 <3

[pitbolshevik]

if you're in your mid twenties and you're reading this you still have plenty of time to inadvertently topple a dynasty just by being really fucking weird and horny. don't worry.

[jonahmagnus]

"I cant draw" then do it bad who gives a fuck.....

[jonahmagnus]

Partake in the joy of creation just for the fun of it. Just for a laff.

[nintendosformerlover]

Me @everyone in the notes

[corsairesix]

All the night scenes in the Fallout show are so dark. They should have lit it like the games and had all of the characters talking to the vault dweller girl have a bright green pip-boy light shining directly in their face

[wildwildwasteland]

[coolsaddad-blog]

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

[feels-for-the-fictional]

I have been waiting for this post all my life.

[marzipanandminutiae]

They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.

Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”

A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.

So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?

[ineptshieldmaid]

My friend you’re not wrong About Homer’s wine-ey sea! Colours are a matter Of cultural contingency;

Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You’ve given short shrift.

The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold.

By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree

Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved

For only the emperor!

The word ‘purple’, for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century

.

Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long

Is almost magenta; More red than blue. The concept of purple is old, and yet new.

The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue

.

[squeeful]

While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too.

But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

[last-flight-of-dickarus]

Hirple - To limp or walk awkwardly

Cirple - An old Scots word for the hindquarters of a horse

[nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear]

“Roses are red, violets are purple,

My boner for you has caused me to hirple.”

…

My, how romantic!

[wouldthatcreationhadformedmeman]

DYING. I AM DYING.

[tenaciouszombiearcher]

Knowledge is empowering

[fluffmugger]

you can literally get gender changers for like $3

[pkducklett]

And yes, that's literally what they're called.

[sensiblereblogifposts]

Reblog if you got a gender changer for like $3

[toastoat]

sometimes i wish i had facial hair

like sexy stubble or something that would be so cool

[toastoat]

perfect

[toastoat]

im not coming back to tumblr i just needed to find this post in order to dunk on my younger self. you absolute baby buffoon. you dumbass

[theyouth--waste-it]

[catchymemes]

[oldguydoesstuff]

It better have a scroll bar.

[animentality]

[augustdementhe]

Adding librarians.

[theblackparadeisdead]

Ever heard a bass riff so good you can feel it in your actually I don't think I can say that in public

[lubefairy]

I will.

U feel it in ur pussy

[theworsethingsgettheharderifight]

[mrsbandicoot-deactivated2021061]

BALL.

[postmortemtsarina]

[guam-deactivated20240602]

[heytatertot]

@nathanwpyle

I literally love this.

I couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes.

No joke.

[meg-moira]

This has the same energy as a writer desperately trying to make their insanely cool but devastatingly off the wall plot point work with the rest of the story

[sandmandaddy69]

[get-thee-to-a-shrubbery]

[ferret-on-pancakes]

[its-your-mind]

[teathattast]

[teathattast]

Either they're related or this is the same person

[jozz404]

It wasn’t me this time, I swear

[teathattast]

I'd like to believe you but we both know what you're capable of

[sinnahsaint]

I made sourdough like that. We jokingly called it the “tasty brick” and cut off super thin slices because it WAS delicious, but it was so dense, a single normal slice would sit heavy in your belly like a brick.

[rebakitt3n]

[thebootydiaries]