I genuinely want V and Cardi to finally meet and it’s this wonderful heartfelt reunion of long lost brothers.
However.
What I also want, and I think we’re far more likely to get, is the two of them being absolute children to each other.
For example:
“Mom said it’s my turn with the papacy!”
“How come he got a bigger portion of chow mein than me?!” (They literally both got the same amount)
“HE’S TOUCHING ME!” (They’re barely in the same room)
“You were adopted!” (Perpetua literally starts bawling and Cardi has Regrets; still doesn’t apologize directly but a fancy gift basket of Perpy’s favorite treats mysteriously appears in his quarters.)
“He’s on my side of the Ministry!” The Ministry has in fact been divided down the middle with purple and red lines signifying each twin’s side, with a demilitarized zone in the foyer.
Some poor ghoul *cough*Dewdrop*cough* literally getting yanked back and forth between the two of them like a beloved teddy bear while they argue who’s his favorite twin.
Tripping each other as they rush to the dining room for meals. Inevitably ends in both of them falling down the stairs tangled together like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck.
Cardi attempting to teach the rats to infiltrate Perpetua’s quarters and ruin his belongings. Backfires spectacularly in that the rats love Perpetua. He has also somehow in exchange taught the rats to flip off Cardi.
Perpetua “borrows” the trike and leaves it outside in the rain overnight. Cardi responds by replacing V’s hair products with lube.
We have got to stop framing our oppression in ways that promote the idea that other people cannot relate to our struggles. Not only does it isolate comrades in the struggle, it actively diminishes recognition of other struggles--often including those even more horrific than what we are at risk of. And this happens especially between Gay and Black struggles.
"when have straight people ever had to check what states were safe for them?" Sundown towns are still a thing. Starlight tours. What states have abortion access? What states have open carry? What states have stand your ground? What states have 3-strike rules? Women, people of color, disabled people, immigrants, and more have had to be abundantly cautious where they travel to. Straight trans people have much more travel risk right now than gay cis people.
It's a new iteration of the same tired question: "imagine if straight people weren't allowed to marry" interracial marriage in the US is younger than my parents. We disgrace people of color by forgetting their history and contemporary struggles, and we abandon queer people of color, Black queer people, by segmenting their overlapping fights.
As lovelyshananigans says, "intersectionality, babes"
getting characters into world-endingly intense codependent queerplatonic relationships is literally what life is all about. it is literally what we were put here on this earth to do
every time i start to feel cringe for being too deep in the hyperfixation i remember the intense depression i have waded through and have to remind myself that enjoyment is fleeting (so grab it with both hands), and life is for loving (so hold that love close), and if anyone thinks i’m cringe they must not be having a very good time (and i hope they can find a good time soon).
Did you hear the scientists have found a way to grow colored cotton? Thoughts?
It’s not a ‘scientists have found’ and much more ‘people have been already doing that for thousands of years and it’s just gaining more attention recently’
There’s actually been a load of vitriol leveled against folks who try to raise traditional colored cottons, because a lot of cotton growers don’t want the colored cottons cross-pollinating with their standard white cotton.
But anyway cotton can be grown in lovely natural shades of greens, reddish-brown ochres, and browns, all of which deepen with a good boil in water with a bit of washing soda thrown in.
The color obviously doesn’t fade or run, because it’s not dye. It’s the intrinsic color of the fiber itself.
I’m biased because I love the natural earth tones of many fibers, of course...browns, blacks, creams, copper-reds, ect...but I think they’re just gorgeous.
Scientists did not "just find out", and this is more of the same anti intellectual bs as the post that goes around claiming archaeologists were too stupid to know that hair could be sewn for elaborate styles.
Anyway, scientists DID figure out how to grow colored cotton. They genetically engineered it to be bright fuckin pink, and they didn't "just find out" about it, they already knew which is literally what inspired them to attempt the thing they just accomplished. Begging y'all to stop pretending that scientists don't know things, don't have interests, don't grow up in farming communities or have family who taught them this. Scientists are people. Do you seriously think people who use genetic engineering to make eco-friendly pink cotton don't know anything about textiles?
Anyway. Bright pink cotton without dyes, because science is awesome
Yes. CSIRO scientist Doctor Colleen MacMillan led the team that figured this out. They used tobacco plants for testing because of the genetic similarity. Basically if the tobacco leaves produced colors when injected with a bit of the experimental genetic material, the scientists on the team already understood that the color change would affect cotton bolls as well.
They grew bright red and bright yellow in a petri dish.
And yes, Doctor MacMillan knows lots of things. Here's a list of some of her publications.
@csirogram on Instagram
Additionally folks are researching how to create flame resistant cotton and black cotton. If a variety of black cotton becomes viable, it can stop a LOT of environmental damage caused by chemical manufacturing of black dye.
THIS. Every damn botanist I know, including myself, is at the least tangentially interested in fiber arts and indigenous methods behind things like that. Scientists have hobbies and we're all goddamn nerds so a lot of those hobbies are more niche. The anti-intellectualism is insane. I swear half of y'all think scientists are all evil cackling old men devoted to holding up colonial power systems. The work done by Dr. MacMillan is crazy cool and should be celebrated
I wrote over 3k words about my experience Wednesday night, because I'm a normal person who likes this band a normal amount. Unless otherwise noted, all photos are by Ryan Chang from that night.
Pre-Ritual
I’ve had a decent run these last few shows, of guessing which of the rotating songs would get played. My guesses for my ritual were Elizabeth, Majesty, and Prime Mover. Hold that thought.
The merch line was impressively fast, I expected to burn a good chunk of the wait there but I think it was less than fifteen minutes to get through it. Got a mask and a Frater plushie, because of course. I still harbor delusions about making my own ghoulette costume—maybe not by Halloween, but perhaps for the next tour?
Saw so many amazing costumes. Every single Perpetua cosplayer was hot, I think it’s like a magical power the costume imbues the wearer with. There were at least two Jesuses, and one Secondo who got cheered by the crowd shortly before the show started. You could tell who the diehards were by who got excited when Klara stjärnor started playing.
My seat was way closer to the stage than I had pictured from the arena map, the right side platform was maybe 20 feet away, if that? (I’m bad at distance). I still want to try and get barricade at least once next tour, but it was a damn near perfect seat for seeing the guitar ghouls. I brought binoculars but didn’t even get them out of my purse. The audio was less than perfect, the guitars were a little bit muddled and I couldn’t always hear Papa very well (even when speaking, there were points where I couldn’t understand him), but still worth it.
The Ritual
Peacefield
This was the “adjusting to the fact that they’re real” song. I’ve gotten teary-eyed every time this has played in the car for the last week, so I was sure I’d be a mess, but it was so surreal it hit me with shock more than emotion. They were so close to me! Papa was like, right there! I may have made eye contact with Dewdrop! Papa had his amazing ridiculous hat! Everyone's costumes are so pretty!
Lachryma
Utterly brilliant. Was still kind of in shock. Sang my heart out. This is where the creature started to come out. Also, Papa's microphone throwing might be an actual superpower, I don’t know how he didn’t drop it a dozen times. It’s wild to see in person.
Spirit
Holy fuck this was amazing live. The lighting was incredible, the drums and bass just shake the room down. I can’t remember if this was the song, but there were several moments early on where Papa would freeze for just an instant in these creepy poses, and I wish so badly that I could draw well enough to capture some of them.
Per Aspera Ad Inferi
Love this one, and was pleased to see it got a good cheer at the start. Idk how well STL did as a whole, but I sang my face off. This was probably the last point in the show where I had enough voice left to get the harmony right. I think this was the one where Papa did the evil laugh that gave me actual physical chills?
Faith/Pinnacle/Elizabeth
They had a pattern going. I was sure we were getting Elizabeth. And then I heard the count-in that signals the start of Faith, and I almost cried. It would have been lovely to get Elizabeth, but Faith is a song that sunk its claws in me from the first time I heard it and never let me go, and hearing it live did something to me.
And then! Papa came up on the platform on our side early in the song, and I swear to you, he stared right at me for a few lines. There was definite eye contact. And in an instant, I pretty much lost any anxieties about being judged by my fellow concertgoers, because if Papa is looking at me I’m going to sing and dance and try to give back to him the energy he gives us through the music.
I've tried to think how to describe the look he gave me in that moment, and the only thing I can come up with is "oh you're one of mine aren't you?" Which is probably just "the only person losing her mind over Faith in a row full of people not singing or dancing" but in the moment it almost felt like Papa recognizing a member of his flock.
I thought I understood what Tobias has been saying about audience engagement, but it wasn’t until that happened that I truly got it. Even in such a small interaction the energy exchange is real, and feeling that connection with Papa in that moment was worth more than any photo or video I could have taken.
And then he called us crotchlickers…I mean, I’m not sure I’d call that an insult, Papa 😉.
The growly bit is so hot I think I stopped breathing, followed by Phantom on our platform being his adorable self with his motions to go with the chorus.
And, while I’m so glad I got Faith, 100% in agreement with the person on the floor who had the “Elizabeth is for stadiums” sign (or something to that effect).
After this Phantom did his crowd conducting bit, it was great (even though my section only got a “meh” hand gesture for our cheering). Love that bug.
Majesty/CMLS
I wanted CMLS, so I was dead certain we wouldn’t get it. After Faith, even more so—two wins in a row? No way. Literally on the drive to St. Louis CMLS came on, and I said out loud to myself, “this is the only time you’re hearing this song today, do not fucking get your hopes up.”
We got CMLS. I cried.
It’s like Cirice—I know what the lyrics are supposed to mean, and I totally get that. But Papa singing “you will never walk alone, you can always reach me” gets to me in the same way as “I can see through the scars inside you.” The head knows what it is, but the heart yearns anyway.
Other notes—the backing vocals were utterly gorgeous (Storm is so good!), the purple lights were so pretty, and Dew made a smoking gesture on “light up in the middle of the day.”
TFIAFL
We got a pretty short speech before this one, Papa kept it a bit more vague. I’m trying to remember exactly what he said and I can’t. I know he was disappointed that people seemed to read his “are you happy now?” as “happy in this moment” rather than “happy with the state of the world.” Kinda wanted to shout “not all of us are!”
He was emphatic on “the dark fascist regime WILL be gone.” For the “2034” part Phantom was back on our platform holding up his fingers for two, three and four.
Cirice
The lead in to this was so good, the red lighting and the slow guitar buildup is just magical. Rain jerked off his bass, then wiped his hand on his mask and shook his head like “why did I do that?”
Papa crept up the drum risers all hunched over, and then straightened up to stand with his hands crossed over his chest, very vampiric. Overall he spent a lot of time on the creature end of the spectrum, it was absolutely captivating to watch him. And the sparkly mask! A thing of beauty. The mic stand fingering was pretty minimal, he almost immediately pulled out, pulled his hand to his face, and I think like made a face/shook his hand off?
(Editor’s note: Ryan caught the tail end of it)
He came so far to the side during the buildup to That Moment that I thought for a split second he was going to cirice my section from the platform, but he stayed turned toward the pit. So wherever you are on the barricade, there really is always a chance!
DATHOML
Yep, cried. So beautiful, the vocal and the lighting, just pierced my soul.
During this song there was a very strange moment where it all suddenly felt extremely real, just for a minute. Like, well beyond “these artists I admire so much are really here!” this was full on “Papa V Perpetua is a real person and he’s right there and he’s singing this to you.” I was definitely singing back specifically to Papa (love ya Toblerone, but there’s no darkness at the heart of it).
Another highlight, on the guitar solo Dew held a vibrato note for ages, and Papa went from “yeah! look at this guy!” to “oh, you’re still going?” to “okay, wrap it up now,” and it was adorable.
(How many times will I use cute or adorable to describe the Satan band? Let’s not count!)
Satanized
This got one of the biggest cheers of the night, rivaling Square Hammer and Rats. The absolute most fun to sing along to.
Papa froze while holding the mic during the Latin bit, kind of hunched over, hands on the mic like he was praying. He froze so suddenly and stayed so still it almost looked like he was hurt; I heard someone nearby ask if he was okay.
And then on the guitar solo, he went fetal on the risers for a moment, and right as I was doing a very good job not screaming something like “my poor darling, who hurt you?!” he did the weird one-legged balancing thing. Toblerone why. Like I’m definitely impressed you can do that, but why now?
Opus spot
Stand by Him would be fantastic, Prime Mover would be very interesting, and I’m open to growing fonder of Satan Prayer. I’m sure we won’t get Ritual, though. I already got two of my first choice picks, I don’t get more than that. Even though it feels a little wrong to not hear Ritual at my first ritual, they can give us whatever they want and I’ll be happy.
And… they gave us Ritual. It was amazing.
Loved dancing along with the ghoulettes when they came down to dance with Dew, they’re all three precious. The poor mic stand only got one finger-thrust before Papa left to fetch the cowbell.
When Dew did his extended outro, Rain and Phantom covered their ears for a moment, but then Rain came over and just rested his chin on his hand like “Buddy? Can we move on?” It was super cute.
Umbra
The cowbell moment was absolutely iconic. 10/10, will be so sad if they ever change the staging. Aurora is a tiny firecracker and she put 110% into her cowbell playing, I love her.
Had to track this down on the record—there’s a guitar note at 3:52 on this track, that when played live, it’s like Dew is responding to Cirrus’s overture. He turns toward her like “Oh? You want to play?" And then while those two flirt, the rest of the band sits down to take a breather.
Phantom was sitting kind of behind the platform on my side of the stage, and he and Papa were pointing at each other as Papa crept closer, and closer, and then they like, booped each other’s fingers before Papa vanished backstage.
(Editor's note: forgive the potato-quality bootleg screenshot, but I found evidence from the Nashville show so it might be their new bit)
I wish I could have heard the guitar a bit clearer, because holy shit was Dew killing it on the duet. It was amazing and we need an official live recording of it asap.
Also, there was 100% a double running around in the back of the stage at the end, because suddenly Papa’s thighs were a completely different size and shape. I know Papa’s thighs, and those were not Papa’s thighs (Let’s not get into what that says about me…)
Year Zero
Papa appeared seemingly out of nowhere on our side of the stage at the beginning, it was startling. That cassock is a work of art and I hope they film something with it (if they haven’t already, please Toblerone or his spies if you’re reading this tell us if an MSG movie is coming, I’m not even asking for a release date just for hope that it exists). Screaming “hail Satan” with an arena full of people is cathartic in a way I couldn’t have imagined.
No Raindrop choke, but from my angle it looked like Dew was standing behind Rain and just watching him, with a very predatory gaze. I couldn’t see super well from where I was, but Phantom was certainly…having a moment, shall we say, writhing around on his back on the other side of the stage.
(Side note, we know how bendy our Phantom is, but can we talk about his balance? Because his ability to not just fall ass over teakettle when doing backbends like he does is very impressive).
The fire really felt magical, and I was amazed how much we could feel the heat—what must it feel like on stage! Delightful to see our fire ghoul communing with his element, as well. At the end, the explosion rocked the arena and shattered the stained glass, and we were left with stars filling the windows. It was beautiful.
He Is
Religious experience. I know we know this, but I’d never experienced anything like it before. Papa’s voice is so lovely here. I couldn’t hear the vocals super well for a lot of the show, so I really appreciated these softer moments where I got to hear him more clearly.
And then the ending, where the cathedral set falls—that is a fantastic bit of stagecraft. Bravo to the set designer!
Rats
I am not much of a headbanging person, but it is impossible not to headbang when the boys go Cerberus mode.
Before the solo, on the “No!” Papa sounded truly heartbroken, and he stayed on the stage a bit longer than Copia did, looking almost like he was trying not to cry, fanning at his face at one point before fleeing to the back. Very curious what that’s about!
Kiss the Go-Goat
“Somehow it’s both cold and hot, it’s weird.” Asked if we were in heat, many screams. Couldn’t hear him well enough to get a lot of what he said about how he’d like to physically reciprocate our devotion…about the only thing I heard clearly was he said he’d try to give us all “something you can take home to your mamas.”
This song is so fun live, holy shit. I think this was when I saw Aurora dancing on Storm’s platform, and Rain came over to dance by them too? Papa did the fingering thing again; also on “all the dudes…” he did this gesture that to my dirty mind looked like he was holding something big and phallic in front of his crotch, make of that what you will. (Editor’s note: thinking about it, to read way too much into a few seconds, the two bits combined could be read as “those other dudes thought all they needed was size, but I have the dexterity you really want.”)
Afterwards, Papa blew kisses to everyone, starting confident and then getting almost confused, like “Really? You guys are really that into this?” Like you could hear the question mark on the last “mwah?”
Mummy Dust
THE SCREAM. I died. My beloved Mary Goore prowled the stage once again.
Papa came over to our platform again and I’m kind of afraid to imagine what he saw in my face (because again, it looked like he was looking right the fuck at me), but you know what sir, you started this nonsense, you can deal with seeing the combined derangement and devotion you inspire.
This was the one time I got to see Cirrus, and she got the biggest screams from the crowd as is her due. All hail the queen of the keytar!
The mummy thrusts at the beginning seemed a bit restrained compared to videos I’ve seen of Copia. Kind of a half-hearted boob/ass grab when he was on our platform. Might not be feeling it tonight, that’s fair.
But then. On the climactic “in god we trust.” Papa rolled his hips in small, gentle, steady thrusts, and he kept going for a lot longer than when he does the big dramatic ones. Hottest thing I’ve ever seen, and I had the perfect side view to see everything (let us not imagine the shocked squeaking noises that the folks around me would have heard if the music wasn’t so loud). I was so spellbound I almost missed Dew’s bit happening right next to me, but he seemed to do an abbreviated version, so maybe he was distracted too.
After, Papa described the mummy-dust-covered stage as a “hygienic issue,” and said we’d have to call upon a doctor who knows how to handle these sorts of problems, but he’ll only show up if we all call out to him…meanwhile, as he’s saying this, Kevin is trying to get to the front of the stage, while Phantom and Rain are blocking his way and holding him back until Papa gives the cue. It was cute.
Monstrance Clock
We sang LOUD, I was proud of us (although I think Papa said something like “sing it like you mean it, motherfuckers!” so maybe it was just my side of the arena?). I should not have attempted harmony but did anyway.
Somewhere in this region of the show, I can’t actually recall exactly when, Phantom came over to the platform and threw a few picks, and I caught one. I didn’t even dare to dream of getting a pick, so I’m going to treasure this one.
(Side note on pick-throwing, holy shit Dew’s got an arm on him. Can we steal him for the Cardinals?)
Mary on a Cross
They didn't keep us waiting long, it felt like less than a minute before Papa came back out. He’s really easy: “Do you think I have to be asked twice to stay the night?…Unfortunately we played all the good songs already.” Called Nihil “my fuck-up of a father” and I may have cackled in glee. The song brought the house down, of course. Papa killed it on the long note at the end, absolutely beautiful.
Dance Macabre
I have feelings about this song, guys. Like, literally, in the moment where I felt as close to death as I think I’ve ever been (like, you can hear the tornado coming, it'll hit you or it won't but there's nothing you can do about it but decide how to spend what might be your last two minutes, that kind of close) Dance Macabre was what I listened to. Because if you’re gonna go, it might as well be with a ‘fuck you’ to death and a friendly voice in your ears, right?
So getting to this ritual and hearing that song live? I didn’t cry in the moment, but I’m crying now typing this up. It meant something I can’t put in words.
And it was magical, of course. How could it not be? Papa spent the whole night bewitching us, and this is the climax. The rainbow lights on that silver jacket are stunning. There was a moment where just for an instant the whole thing was the exact blue of Copia’s jacket and it took my breath away. He danced very like Copia a couple times too (yeah yeah it’s the same guy but he’s a different guy).
Square Hammer
Papa did his little speech about Dew’s ass-kicking boot, and I think he called him “goaty”? My hearing was kinda fucked at that point (one of my loops fell out during the show, had to substitute one of my airpods, did not work super great).
The sequined coat is magical. I couldn’t even look to see if I made it onscreen because Papa was right there being beautiful and perfect, and Rain and Dew came to the platform to be beautiful and perfect at us (Rain did his flamingo leg thing!).
At the end, everyone came up to the platforms to wave and throw things; someone in the seats on our side got Aurora's cowbell drumstick. Papa and Dew both came over, I mouthed “thank you” to Dew with my hands over my heart and blew kisses to Papa (he blew so many kisses that night). They had a sweet little moment together and hugged briefly before going back to wave to more people.
Overall
I don’t know where Tobias Forge was that night, but it was not on the stage at the Enterprise Center—that was 100% Papa V Perpetua. I expected to catch glimpses of the man under the mask, but there was nothing, he completely disappeared into the role.
It is a delight to watch Papa move. And not just in the lascivious way (although fucking hell is that ever true too) but he’s just…fascinating. He has such clear control over every movement, and is always making interesting choices. If he’d wanted to I think Tobias could have been a professional dancer. He seems to be having a lot of fun being more of a creature this time, and I can’t wait to see how Perpetua develops over time.
It’s also delightful to watch the ghouls, especially in this case our three boys in front. I’ve seen so many Imperatour videos that I didn’t ever have to look at the instruments to identify them, I just knew from body language. Couldn’t see Mountain or Haze very well from where I was, and Cirrus was completely invisible until her solo. I did see once or twice that Haze was making good use of the wind and fog machines, her wings and veil looked so cool.
I wish I could see the show again just to watch Storm, and Aurora, because every time I could tear my eyes away from Papa or whoever was on our platform they were being utterly charming. At some point when Rain was over by Aurora they both flipped their veils at each other like they were doing a sassy hair toss.
Notes for future rituals
Somehow, despite as much crying as I did, my makeup did not run one bit. NYX face glue doesn’t fuck around.
Also, if you’re prone to post-ritual attacks of the feels, highly recommend buying or bringing a plushie to hug. I could almost hear poor Frater grumbling about having to put up with me getting teary about his stupid brother’s stupid ritual.
And, if you’re staying in a hotel near the ritual, pack a Ghost shirt to wear the next day if you can. I got to nerd out with several people on my way to and from breakfast because they saw my Cardi-as-Hamlet shirt and were like “omg you were there too? wasn’t it amazing?!”
Reblogging this for the one year anniversary. And to the advice section I’ll add, if you’re ever considering going to the local record store the morning after a ritual, do not be like me and decide you don’t want to deal with traffic/parking so you’ll hit the bookstore on the way out of town instead. Because it is very possible a certain someone will go to the exact record store you were thinking of going to, and you will still be kicking yourself a year later.
Brooch made from the thigh bone of a WW1 soldier and gifted to his sweetheart
Sergeant Thomas Kitching, who served with the 12th Battalion, Durham Light Infantry, had his left leg shattered when wounded on the Somme on the 7th of July 1916. The brooch, together with a portrait of Sgt Kitching and postcards were sent to his sweetheart Lizzie Hunter, at her Birtley, County Durham address. He survived the war and went on to marry Lizzie in Chester-le-Street, County Durham, shortly after the war ended in 1918.
a They Deserve Each Other shipping scale where on one end of the axis you have the “no one else is good enough for them” ships, and on the other end you have the ships that need to be together monogamously forever as a quarantine measure. whatever the fuck is wrong with both of them must be contained for the greater good.
