Spare Coochie Ma'am?

A Tired Bitch™|27|Lesbian|previously clarkes-magic-bobbies

[ilfascinodelvago]

[voluptama]

butt types

© Viktor Hertz

[lynati]

[memento-mariii]

[tess-mercer]

[cornmaize]

You’re married to your phone background/lockscreen how fucked are you

[notahorseindisguise]

the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal

[mysticorset]

Peer reviewed tags from @somanyofthekids

[notahorseindisguise]

NO its a JOKE and YOU DONT GET IT. ITS NOT THAT DEEP

[hiveswap]

While she was dead he put his memory of her on such a high pedestal that she could never live up to it alive

[midnight-revolucion]

alternatively‚ she came back perfectly fine but he thinks she came back wrong‚ because the tragic reality is that he never actually knew his wife

[notahorseindisguise]

im going INSANE thats MY POST.

[marlinspirkhall]

It's your post but the journey to posting it changed it to such a degree that even its closest intimacies are now foreign to you. Sorry dude.

[petrovalineconstellations]

So if for some goddamn reason you still have tiktok? Maybe delete it

This shit is dystopian as fuck

Delete it as soon as you can do not fucking use the app at all

[crow-caller]

Yeah, so, "TikTok is officially under the control of a cadre of pro-Trump billionaires including Larry Ellison."

[judgejudyofficial]

how does this site continue to win by doing nothing

[kat4884]

didn’t jesus do something similar to that

[rabbitindisguise]

You know I never considered how much trust some painter's tape and a sharpie could inspire. I could cause some serious chaos on a perfectly functional vending machine this way

[helenekuragina]

you cannot make a post about how men put women in certain boxes without someone going "but what if i love the box? what if i've decided that it's comfortable in the box? are you gonna tell me i'm not ALLOWED to like the box? not very feminist of you to police a woman's decisions... maybe you'd be less ugly and miserable if you stopped talking about the box LMFAO #Girlboss #MyBox<3"

[infectiouspiss]

borders between countries aren't real btw we just made them up. there's no such thing as an "immigrant" we're all just people moving around on the same planet that we've always moved around on

[perequiste]

i think that whenever you sleep you should wake up with a full health bar

[intrigd-voyagr]

one curiousity search on ebay to see if people are still going nuts over beanie babies has led to getting a strong contender for the funniest email ever

[petulantworm]

When your doctor prescribes you the generic

[fairycosmos]

for real though if you were a fat girl in PE as a teenager you deserve financial compensation

[tbcl]

[gunstellations]

[infectiouspiss]

puppy want a treat?

puppy want a fucking break from it all

[iamoutofideas]

You considered me racist and blocked me yet you let DieWhiteWoman reblog from you?

it's german for thewhitewoman

[moshroom]

he had to jump in the ballpit to cool off after getting all airplane ears over a treat puzzle that proved a little too advanced

[moshroom]

he's done this a few times now. the ball pit actively soothes him when he gets mad over puzzles. i could learn something from this

[moshroom]

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

[caustic-pixie]

OP the tags!!

[rslashrats]

mr beast partnering with the lds church to help bring in younger people so they can marry off said younger people was not in my 2026 bingo

[rslashrats]

[marxismopportunism]

[libraryspectre]

My wife's favorite sleep noise app is the kind that lets you mix different noises, one of which is a snoring shih tzu, and she loves to create soundscapes that imply the dog is in imminent danger

[libraryspectre]

It'll be like

*music box playing*

*dog snoring*

*the sound of a crackling fire slowly fades in, getting louder and louder as the dog continues to snore*

[libraryspectre]

The other night I was taking a bath while her bluetooth speaker sat innocently nearby, when she decided to aid my relaxation by providing her favorite soundscape, Dog Engulfed In Housefire