marvel characters as john mulaney quotes vol. 1
steve rogers: ānow i was raised catholic. i donāt know if you can tell that from the everything about me.ā
bucky barnes: āwhen people get mad at me on the highway, thatās all my badā¦if youāre ever on the highway behind me, i hear you honking and i also donāt want me to be doing what iām doing.ā
valkyrie: āiāll keep all my emotions right here and then one day, iāll dieā.
sam wilson: āeveryone get outta my way. i just wanna sit here and feed my birds.ā
claire temple: āby the way, part of me was like whatever, you know? you know those days when youāre like āthis might as well happenā? adult life is already so goddamn weird.ā
tony stark: ānow when people make fun of me, i deserve itā¦when people get mad at me now, itās my fault.ā
bruce banner: āiām really sorry about last night. itās just that iām mean and loud. it probably will happen again.ā
jessica jones: āi used to drink too much and then i would black out and i would ruin partiesā¦or so iām told.ā
vision: āoh good, it has a mind of itās own. thatās very reassuring. no, no, no, no. i donāt like robotsā¦thinking of things.ā
peter parker: āi donāt like confrontation, cause iāve never been in a fight before. though, maybe you could tell that from the first moment i walked outā¦i donāt give off that vibe.ā
nick fury: āsome people give off a vibe ofā¦right away, theyāre like ādo not fuck with me.āā
peter quill: ā2029? Thatās not a real year. By 2029, iāll be drinking moon juice with president jonathan taylor thomas. iām not gonna be writing you a paper check.ā
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