KatKatKat

Runs with scissors. Apparently doesn't sleep. Inherently a smartass.

[katscratches]

Remember I was going to write that memoir/essay about generational differences in sex education? Well, I unearthed it finally a year and a half after moving house, and I am restarting it. And I realise i have a very limited background, so I'm hoping you'll all be kind enough to do a short, absolutely anonymous survey for me. It will help me understand what we were most lacking. Sex education is important, people! Link; https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/JNLHZXF #sexeducation #sharethispost #themoreyouknow #writing #memoir https://www.instagram.com/p/CMvYmrzjsdR/?igshid=9xn6o4o70lfi

[thestalkerbunny]

Times are troubling and hard right now-but never forget, your Beet loving Grandmother loves you very very much and wants you to be safe.

And for you to eat your vegetables.

[katscratches]

This is awesome.

[katscratches]

A little help, please, my lovelies...

How do you put stuff behind a cut? I am not terribly techy.

[resonance-of-libra]

This is the Lucky Ace. Reblog to recieve a wad of cash that is oddly specific to your current needs.

[jukaidream]

I reblogged this shit two days ago y’all… what kinda sorcery is this. Oddly specific too …. I’ll take it tho 🤯

[thisisasinkingship]

I think I did it wrong

[comic-girl2234-deactivated20240]

Uh I reblogged this like 3 days ago and I start my new job on Monday??? Like idk how you accidentally find a job but I did.

[caprifreak]

I need to get paid asap so pls ace help

[caprifreak]

I GOT PAID I GOT PAID!!!!!! MUCH MORE THAN I EXPECTED AAAAAAAAAAAA THANK YOU ACE

[musinvenusian]

I legit have a specific amount i want in my head rn it better come true 😭

[riyerose]

I ALSO HAVE A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF MONEY I WOULD LIKE TO ACQUIRE, PLEASE HELP

[autumn-new-moon]

This has worked before, so why not again?

[sushinfood]

you can have more notes just please give me money

[katscratches]

Eh, who knows?

[penny-anna]

Legolas pretty quickly gets in the habit of venting about his travelling companions in Elvish, so long as Gandalf & Aragorn aren’t in earshot they’ll never know right?

Then about a week into their journey like

Legolas: *in Elvish, for approximately the 20th time* ugh fucking hobbits, so annoying

Frodo: *also in Elvish, deadpan* yeah we’re the worst

Legolas:

[penny-anna]

~*~earlier~*~

Legolas: ugh fucking hobbits

Merry: Frodo what’d he say

Frodo: I’m not sure he speaks a weird dialect but I think he’s insulting us. I should tell him I can understand Elvish

Merry: I mean you could do that but consider

Merry: you can only tell him ONCE

Frodo: Merry. You’re absolutely right. I’ll wait.

[penny-anna]

#legolas’ hick accent vs #frodo’s ‘i learned it out of a book’ accent #FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Legolas: umm well your accent is horrible

Aragorn: *hollering from a distance* HIS ACCENT IS BETTER THAN YOURS LEGOLAS YOU SILVAN HICK

Frodo: :)

[storywonker]

Frodo: Hello. My name is Frodo. I am a Hobbit. How are you?

Legolas: y’alld’ve’ff’ve

Frodo, crying: please I can’t understand what you’r saying

[ramshacklefey]

Ok, but Frodo didn’t just learn out of a book. He learned like… Chaucerian Elvish. So actually:

Frodo: Good morrow to thee, frend. I hope we twain shalle bee moste excellente companions.

Legolas: Wots that mate? ‘Ere, you avin’ a giggle? Fookin’ ‘obbits, I sware.

Aragorn: *laughing too hard to walk*

[reformedkingsmanagent]

@ghostriderofthearagon

[cryptidscrypticcrosswordclub]

dYinGggGggg…

[whetstonefires]

i mean, honestly it’s amazing the Elves had as many languages and dialects as they did, considering Galadriel (for example) is over seven thousand years old.

english would probably have changed less since Chaucer’s time, if a lot of our cultural leaders from the thirteenth century were still alive and running things.

they’ve had like. seven generations since the sun happened, max. frodo’s books are old to him, but outside any very old poetry copied down exactly, the dialect represented in them isn’t likely to be older than the Second Age, wherein Aragorn’s foster-father Elrond started out as a very young adult and grew into himself, and Legolas’ father was born.

so like, three to six thousand years old, maybe, which is probably a drop in the bucket of Elvish history judging by all the ethnic differentiation that had time to develop before Ungoliant came along, even if we can’t really tell because there weren’t years to count, before the Trees were destroyed.

plus a lot of Bilbo’s materials were probably directly from Elrond, whose library dates largely from the Third Age, probably, because he didn’t establish Imladris until after the Last Alliance. and Elrond isn’t the type to intentionally help Bilbo learn the wrong dialect and sound sillier than can be helped, even if everyone was humoring him more than a little.

so Frodo might sound hilariously formal for conversational use (though considering how most Elves use Westron he’s probably safe there) and kind of old-fashioned, but he’s not in any danger of being incomprehensible, because elves live on such a ridiculous timescale.

[whetstonefires]

to over-analyse this awesome and hilarious post even more, legolas’ grandfather was from linguistically stubborn Doriath and their family is actually from a somewhat different, higher-status ethnic background than their subjects.

so depending on how much of a role Thranduil took in his upbringing (and Oropher in his), Legolas may have some weird stilted old-fashioned speaking tics in his Sindarin that reflect a more purely Doriathrin dialect rather than the Doriathrin-influenced Western Sindarin that became the most widely spoken Sindarin long before he was born, or he might have a School Voice from having been taught how to Speak Proper and then lapse into really obscure colloquial Avari dialect when he’s being casual. or both!

considering legolas’ moderately complicated political position, i expect he can code-switch.

…it’s also fairly likely considering the linguistic politics involved that Legolas is reasonably articulate in Sindarin, though with some level of accent, but knows approximately zero Quenya outside of loanwords into Sindarin, and even those he mostly didn’t learn as a kid.

which would be extra hilarious when he and gimli fetch up in Valinor in his little homemade skiff, if the first elves he meets have never been to Middle Earth and they’re just standing there on the beach reduced to miming about what is the short beard person, and who are you, and why.

this is elvish dialects and tolkien, okay. there’s a lot of canon material! he actually initially developed the history of middle-earth specifically to ground the linguistic development of the various Elvish languages!

[bowditch]

Legolas: Alas, verily would I have dispatched thine enemy posthaste, but y’all’d’ve pitched a feckin’ fit.

Aragorn: *eyelid twitching*

[linguisticparadox]

Frodo: *frantically scribbling* Hang on which language are you even speaking right now

Pippin, confused: Is he not speaking Elvish?

Frodo, sarcastically: I dunno, are you speaking Hobbit?

Boromir, who has been lowkey pissed-off at the Hobbits’ weird dialect this whole time: That’s what it sounds like to me.

Merry, who actually knows some shit about Hobbit background: We are actually speaking multiple variants of the Shire dialect of Westron, you ignorant fuck.

Sam, a mere working-class country boy: Honestly y'all could be talkin Dwarvish half the time for all I know.

[sainamoonshine]

Pippin, entering Gondor and speaking to the castle steward: hey yo my man

Boromir, from beyond the grave: j e s u s

[esser-z]

Tolkien would be SO PROUD of this post

[sunny-dayze]

@words-writ-in-starlight

[wodneswynn-deactivated-deactiva]

If I remember correctly, in the “tree of tongues” material from The Lost Road, Tolkien goes into some detail about how the reason elves have so many dialects is that elves view language as a form of collaborative art, which they delight in, so a newly-coined word or grammatical construct gets spread around just like a new song would.

Elves may be immortal, but they’re also immortal nerd OCs and we must never forget this

[kittyknowsthings]

Thank you for this addition which is both lovely and educational

[kyraneko]

So what you’re saying is, they’re us. They’re the internet. Sending “yeet” and “smol” and “I lik the bred” all over creation until two elves who’ve never met in their lives and be like “beans, amirite?” and “yeah I love kitter feets too.”

[ekjohnston]

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

[we-stand-together-in-this]

@icecoldham: Feast your eyes

[tenderblues]

“I studied her face, where it showed creamy pale in the darkness, and thought She loves me, She loves me - like a fool with a daisy-stalk, endlessly exclaiming over the same last browning petal”

— Sarah Waters, Tipping the Velvet

[katscratches]

I love that, in French, paper clips translates to trombones, because then I just imagine a little mousie jazz band. 🐀

[teamharveyspecter-deactivated20]

Reblog if your icon is a picture of a sexy motherfucker.

[painandpleasure86]

Amen to that

[deakysgurl-deactivated20240308]

Certainly is 

[johndeaconstoothgap]

Not just a sexy motherfucker, THE sexy motherfucker

[painandpleasure86]

FACTS!

[katscratches]

Reblogging because my icon is me, I'M the sexy mf! 😁

[knitmeapony]

Kids.  Teenagers.  As someone staring 40 in the face lemme tell you a thing.

You are going to be horrified and embarrassed at some point by the shit you are doing now.

And you are going to wish with all your might you’d done more of it.  

You’re gonna wish you had more selfies, more photos, more videos being dumb with your friends.  You’re going to wish you’d had your hair even higher or your shoes even sparklier.  

Go.  Document the shit out of your ridiculous life.  Fuck trends but if you wanna be trendy, go all in.  Fuck in-groups and subcultures but if one sings to you, do it all.  Be exactly as cool or punk rock or goth or fandom or country or hardcore or hip hop or whatever, and don’t let anyone tell you differently.

Just don’t hurt people.  That’s the only thing you’ll ever genuinely live to regret.

[knitmeapony]

@palejoke tagged: #I mean no offense but why a 40 y/o on the hellsite

I think I have talked about this before, but because life doesn’t end at twenty or thirty or forty or fifty and thinking that folks are going to fall out of social media or that there won’t always be someone your age and my age and twice both of our ages interested in [insert anything, ever] is a very limiting worldview.  

Somewhere there is a sixty-five year old who unironically loves Taylor Swift’s music and a fifty-two year old writing Superwholock fanfic and a ninty year old who absolutely lives for the next episode of Archer and a seventy-one year old that can kick anyone’s ass in k-pop trivia.  There will always be these folks, and all the Internet has done is give fans of all ages a chance to interact in a way that they never had before.

Before BBSes and the Internet and Usenet and the World Wide Web and fanrings and forums and social media, those people would just love it in their own way, in the privacy of their own homes.  But now anyone can make an Ao3 account or a basic fansite or tumbl about whatever they want, and sometimes you’re gonna learn those people are old but they still get it, and sometimes you’re going to find out those folks are still kids, twelve or fourteen at the oldest, and marvel at their maturity and skill and attention to detail.  

And that is rad as hell, that is fucking incredible, that is… whatever the kids are saying these days, hah.

[esoteric-merit]

As a sidenote, once, about a decade ago, I decided to email one of my favourite authors before she bit it … she was pushing 90 at the time. ( … she’s still alive now). Anyways, we got to having a long discussion, because I shared my deadname with her late husband, and I actually had quite a long conversation with her. The part of the conversation I’d like to share with you about this now pushing 100-tear-old author isn’t that she developed a liking for her breakfast eggs from her honeymoon in Vienna, or that her Husband would sometimes steal her drafts to read them as soon as he could, or that she superglued a potted plant to her bookshelf to watch her orange cat try to knock it over and fail. Nono, I mention this to bring up what she would do as a writing exercise whenever she didn’t feel like writing her serious work. In short, erotic darkwing duck slashfic. You can find it online.

[knitmeapony]

This is the greatest addition this post has gotten so far.

[redshoesnblueskies]

I LOVE THIS FUCKING POST.

I love all the posts written by older fans, with their insight, and their generous attitude towards young fans, and young fanfic writers, and young fanartists. 

Older fans who patiently explain to whomever questioned the validity of older fans participation…

that it’s older fans running the AO3 servers and the entire OTW organization;

Older fans most often writing the actually well written fanfic; 

Older fans planning, organizing and executing massive cons;

Older fans who write out fandom history dating back to pre-internet so that history can be known and preserved and enjoyed;

Older fan lawyers enforcing Fair Use laws pro bono to keep fans from being sued for creating fic or art or any other media;

Older fans behaving well with life-lived-and-learned healthy boundaries;

or conversely dealing out smack-downs to those not behaving well be they older trolls or naively inexperienced younguns;

Older fans letting fans of all ages remember that zany enthusiasm is not the province only of the young - it is the province of humanity. 

And we’re right there loving being human with you.

[coneygoil]

I have now experienced both ends of the spectrum. I found fandom online at 17 and now I’m 37. I’ve been both a teenager and an adult in fandom, and I’ll continue to participate in fandom. At 22, I got to know some older ladies in the LotR fandom, some of who were older than my parents. I learned from these ladies how to improve my writing. They had experience from years of practice and wisdom from age, and my writing never would have improved the way it did without these ladies who some people would think were “too old” for fandom. Everyone is valuable no matter how old they are. Everyone deserves to enjoy what they love.

[katscratches]

As a 49 year old lover of many different fandoms, I love the shit out of this post. Because it's so true; age is really just a number. My brain thinks it's 17, my back thinks it's 92, and my ID swears I'm almost 50. But who really cares? Love what you want!

[katscratches]

So my guitarist boyfriend overheard me singing in the shower, stuff I wrote myself, and now he wants me to sing in a band with him, and HALP.

[katscratches]

After-dinner music 🙂🎸🎶 ... ... ... #music #niki_b #ilovethisguy #guitar https://www.instagram.com/p/B2-cdQCAU0t/?igshid=1333zh7zjw50s

[i-was-once-a--tortoise]

i love how much the internet has latched onto the goose from the goose game. like it’s just a goose and it’s a goose that you control, so it has no set personality, but the entire internet looked at this 

and said “ah. a bastard” and adopted it.

[lickthemagaindeacy]

It’s a goose. All geese are bastards.

[katscratches]

And Canadian geese are the absolute WORST. They're just mean for the sake of being mean. They're the hornets of the goose world.

[katscratches]

Reblog if you ever accidentally found a surprising fact about yourself.

I, for one, found out the other day that I apparently have a praise kink.

[katscratches]

I love waking up to this view every morning... Now if only my boyfriend wasn't so grumpy in the morning... but I fear that's a lost cause!

[katscratches]

So this happened...

I have inadvertently become engaged after 2 weeks of an absolute whirlwind of a romance.

What can I say? When you know, you know.

This is exactly the same kind of immediate chemistry that I had with my late husband. A sign, perhaps?

Also my life has now decided to mirror "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", and I've apparently got the part of Ian Miller.

[darb6226-deactivated20191223]

You have been visited by the lucky Deacy and Freddie. Reblog in 3 minutes and you’ll have good luck.

[painandpleasure86]

Oh yeah

[katscratches]

I love those legs, omg.

[salemwitchtrials-deactivated202]

every morning i wake up & get my coffee & i recite in my head this excerpt from ‘invitation,’ by mary oliver:  “it is a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in the broken world.” & i just say it over & over again until it sticks to my mind for the rest of the day. it is a serious thing. i am alive. i am so lucky. this fresh morning i get the chance to live again & again & again

[katscratches]

This is the most beautiful quote I've read in a long time, and... as I'm currently spending a week in the psych ward for a botched suicide attempt... I'm going to reread it every morning to recharge myself. 💕