My Headcannons for the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black
The incest thing started because "a woman couldn't rule without a husband", but if they got married they'd lose the Black name, then firstborn daughters began marrying their cousins out of spite so they could keep their last name and the firstborn privileges and used "it will keep the lineage pure" as an argument.
Walburga and Abaraxes didn't love each other romantically, but were willing to marry each other to rid themselves of the downsides of a loveless, arranged marriage, but the Malfoys were faster and married Abaraxes as a peace agreement with another family.
Irma drugged Pollux to conceive their three kids — and consequently get married and enter the family — and later drugged her own son, Cygnus, to impregnate Druella so they would get married.
Regulus can play the piano, which led him to learn how to play the organ, but he only does it when he's upset.
Sirius has wavy hair like a victorian child, but he straightens it somehow because then he looks less like Walburga and more like Alphard.
Sirius and Regulus spent many weekends on the Rosier's due to Orion's friendship with Mr. Rosier, so they grew up basically together but never told that to anyone outside the family.
Sirius and Evan would occasionally vent their "heir problems" to each other when the others weren't around.
Bellatrix envied Sirius for being the heir even though she was older and considered marrying one of their cousins, but the only ones available was Sirius himself and she would never fathom marrying her baby cousin Reg.
Andromeda had to get used to belonging to a lower class than what she grew up in after marrying Ted.
Narcissa is the only one in her family to get a name that didn't belong to an astronomical element because she was born blond haired, which is a trait from the Rosiers.
Orion saw himself in the obligation of loving his nephews because he loved his big sister.
Orion and Walburga often said what made their marriage bearable was each other's voices — Wally, because Orion was an opera singer, and Orion when Wally sang/hummed the boys to sleep.
Regulus learned how to paint by peeking into Andromeda and Narcissa's classes.
Lucretia and Orion spent most of their childhood in Japan/China because Arcturus was the one responsible for the family's relationship with Asian families, commerce and politicians, which made them learn their culture and language.
While Regulus was raised by his father, which led to him growing up more in tune with Asian culture, Sirius was raised by his mother, which led him to be more in tune with European culture. Both of them were raised with the two different cultures, what changed was the intensity they were exposed to each.
Sirius plays mounted archery and polo while Regulus plays Kyudo and quidditch.
The black brothers grew up in Grimaud Place but absolutely loved the old money countryside house where they would spend their summers, holidays and, sometimes, winters.
Alphard had a romance with Abaraxes, but it only lasted until he got married because Alphard refused to be a lover.
Sometimes, Wally would reluctantly ask Cygnus for advice when she couldn't get Sirius to stop crying and it would go like:
Walburga First-Time-Mom Black:
Cygnus I-Had-My-First-Kid-At-13 Black: Hopes and prayers, Wally.
If a Black had a penny every time one of their best friends got romantically involved with one of their siblings, they would have three pennies, which isn't much, but it's weird (funny) that it happened thrice — Pollux when Doria and Charlus, Walburga when Alphard and Abaraxes, Sirius when Regulus and James.
The Blacks are so intrincate with the Malfoys, Russian is one of the first languages they learn.
French, Russian, Latin, Runes, German, Spanish, Italian and English are the mandatory languages the heirs and spares have to learn, but Sirius and Regulus know Mandarin and Japanese because of their father's side of the family.
They switch languages when they don't want to talk with someone, like if a french man comes talking to Pollux and he doesn't want to talk to them, he'll just switch to German or something like that and pretend he doesn't know french even though everybody knows he was born there, but no one says anything because of rich privilege.
People at Hogwarts forget that Sirius and Regulus are literal billionaires.
Orion's friends were Fleamont and Mr. Rosier (I like to call him Cassian because I don't know his real name), Wally's were Euphemia and Abaraxes, and Pollux's were Charlus and Abaraxes' dad.
Orion taught both Sirius and Pandora to sing opera. She and Evan are his godchildren.
Sirius plays piano and violin, but doesn't like the piano that much, and learned how to play guitar at Hogwarts with James.
Walburga doesn't like Lucretia and says Sirius' bad behavior is because of their cousins, the Prewett twins.
They all know Sirius would be the perfect heir if he wasn't so rebellious.
Sirius and Walburga's equivalent to "I made your favorite food" after a fight is Sirius kneeling down by Walburga so she can brush his hair in silence.
Sirius was a girl snogger back at Hogwarts, not a hooker, because he was scared of teen pregnancy since both his grandfather's and his uncle were teen dads, also, he wouldn't accept any substance offered to him if it wasn't Remus or Peter the ones to give it to him afraid he'd be drugged like Pollux and definitely celebrated once he beat teen pregnancy.
They learn wandless magic before Hogwarts because "The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black cannot be defeated by a simple expelliarmus".
Tom Riddle created the Knights of Walpurgis as an homage to Walburga so he would get the influence the House of Black could bring, but once she saw she was supposed to worship him and be submissive, she jumped out and convinced her family to do the same because a Black would never submit to anyone.
Regulus only joined the Death Eaters because he saw in there everything he was taught growing up, Wally was disappointed, but didn't say anything other than a talk about how he was offending the family by becoming submissive to an inferior being (he was way more affected by the 30 minutes stare he got from Sirius once he found out, which didn't take long).
They are born and bred to be powerful, dominant, scary and attentive, so Sirius figured Remus was a werewolf much sooner than James or Peter, and Reg did as soon as he started hanging out with him in the library.
James asked Regulus to keep their relationship hidden from Sirius at all costs. Reggie agreed, but he knew Sirius would find out by himself. Sirius started to suspect a week later, confirmed his suspicion when Regulus showed up for a Gryffindor quidditch game in which James would be playing and it wouldn't be against Slytherin or Ravenclaw, from that day on Sirius kept staring at Regulus across the room, but only confronted on one night when their parents weren't home. Both of them agreed not to tell James until the opportunity came up. It didn't, they broke up before anyone had the balls to tell Sirius he was fucking his little brother he was so protective of — Sirius knew in detail Regulus sex life and vice versa, that's what siblinghood is about.
Evan, Pandora, Sirius and Regulus were closer than they'd ever admit to anyone, and they knew Barty before Hogwarts, because, you know, the son of the Minister of Magic and two powerful and influent families, but they only got closer when Pandora started spending more time with him in Ravenclaw.
Walburga isn't very fond of the Rosiers because of what Druella did to her baby brother and sometimes refused to go to their Manor whenever Orion and the boys would go, but when the twins came visiting, she and Evan would sit and have the mundane talk you have with the mother of your friend when they aren't around, about school and stuff.
Walburga and Pollux have an awkward relationship. They don't love each other, but they also don't hate each other. But she definitely hates Irma.
Abaraxes is Sirius' godfather just like Walburga is Lucius' godmother. Cassian is Regulus' godfather and Orion is the twin's.
Narcissa and Lucius' wedding was HUGE because it was another union between a Black and a Malfoy and it wasn't forced.
Narcissa and Lucius always had a crush on each other, but he was scared of being rejected, so it took time for him to gather the courage to ask her out.
Bellatrix only became a Death Eater after her marriage with Rodolphus because he joined first, then she started taking a liking to it, the same with Narcissa and Lucius, but she didn't like it like her sister and only did it because of her loyalty to her man.
They all had excellent grades without even trying because of the advanced teaching they received during their childhood.
Narcissa was incredible in quidditch and was the one to teach Regulus how to fly.
Remus, James and Peter had to turn Sirius' vocabulary into a normal person's in their first years because he only talked formally.
Regulus turns into a typical younger brother when he's alone with Sirius.
Regulus was supposed to get into an arranged marriage with Pandora if he hadn't become a Death Eater.
They all look alike in a way you can tell it's a Black the moment you look at them — tall, black haired, sharp features that look like they'll eat your soul for lunch — but they're pretty in their own unique ways, like Regulus, who is cute pretty, Sirius, who is sexy pretty, Walburga, who is scary pretty, etc.
Once, the people at Gryffindor were commenting that Sirius would get ugly once he got older because that's what happens when you're pretty when young. Until he showed a picture of his uncle Alphard at 49 and Arcturus at 75. They all shut up.
