shark vs the universe
$LAYYYTER
blake kathryn
Cosmic Funnies
bliss lane
h
almost home
RMH
Misplaced Lens Cap
gracie abrams
Kiana Khansmith
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izzy's playlists!
taylor price
roma★
todays bird
YOU ARE THE REASON
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Sade Olutola
Color Me Curious
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Bangladesh
seen from United States
seen from Kenya
seen from Finland
seen from United States
seen from Kenya
seen from China
seen from Vietnam
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
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seen from Ecuador
@keohnas
give this man what he wants 😾
If Sir Ian McKellen dies without getting to play Magnito finally getting to explore his Charles-induced telepathy kink I will curse the entirety of Marvel and Fox with my every living and dying breath therefore after.
I do think the ability to emoji-react is a net win for human communication. not only does it give you an outlet for 'I see and acknowledge this but don't have a verbal response' but it also adds a pleasing alethiometer element to things
my coworker announces that he's off to the dentist. someone reacts with a tooth emoji. is this a statement of dentist solidarity? a wish for my coworker to return with more (or fewer?) teeth than he set out with? simple word association? who can say
My boss, via text: we'll be out there in the snake free woods! Just kidding. There may be snakes
Me:🐍🐍🐍
Don't listen to men, Supergirl was AMAZING
Current Uncle Leaky Space Blob and the Pebbles fics include:
All in a Row : Grace babysits.
Morning Bells Are Ringing : Grace naps. Pebbles do tiny science.
Row, Row, Row Your Boat : Grace has a boat! Boat time! Also, ow, his shoulder hurts. Pretends it doesn’t.. Rocky notices because of course he does.
The Crypt-Kicker Five : Pebbles heard about Halloween from Rocky. Pebbles are doing Halloween. Emperor Comatose costume.
More on the way!
Might do a Pebble Post because I love the little hatch. ❤️❤️❤️
hollanov hall of fame (fic rec masterlist)
some popular some not so popular fics that i adore. asterisks are favs that i can't be normal about.
character study
rookie of the year by medric / @bluegrasshole*
rozanov – not on hockey / vdud' (eng) by werevolche / gotthesunshinex *
mosquito by gone_girl
au (hockey, or not)
vessel by medric / @bluegrasshole*
clear to a hedgehog by @magneticwave*
for the right reasons by @citrusses*
house of mirrors by ratherunnecessary
win and bear it by anonymous (public plea to please...update)
hurts so good (angst/whump)
penalties by @citrusses*
show me how to be whole again by @rozanohwell*
send me back a thousand days by @rozanohwell*
if only a prayer by absolutelyhollanov*
dogging by @radialarch
everything else (yum yum )
running down the hills by hockeyfinches
ballad of a bisexual terminator by pressuretoparty
torture me (with all i’ve wanted) by toomuchplor
like for like by @smugrobotics*
love takes a mile by corsi
that'll leave a mark by subcorax
forget there's any other place by anonymous
serendipity by ummrys
What if human astronauts visit Erid one day and are doing diplomatic things and whatnot and they learn Ryland Grace is sstill alive and is in a terrarium. One of the astronauts jokingly says “you’re not experimenting on him are you” and the Eridians freeze cause yeah, they totally are. They experiment on him all the time. They’re experimenting on him right now in fact. They read about deep sea diving and are now testing the effects of replacing certain gases in Graces atmosphere. Right now they’re testing helium.
They send someone to stop the experiment but Grace refuses cause they’re so far in already and well that would just ruin the data.
Human astronaut: I can't believe you let them experiment on you
Grace, voice still high from helium: it's a tried and trusted method, patented by Ava Stratt
Bugs Bunny could singlehandedly defeat Thanos by dressing up as a TSA agent and setting up a metal detector in the middle of the battlefield saying that all metal objects must be removed if you want to pass on through now stick around for my 2,000 word essay on just how effectively he would convince The Mad Titan to comply
“For shame, doc! Dontcha know we got other folks waiting?”
(Thanos looks behind him and sees dozens of Bugs Bunnies dressed as angry yelling travelers with huge bags of luggage. Thanos rubs his neck guiltily and begins sliding off the gauntlet)
I felt compelled
Nobody expected you to draw T. Hanos himself in the Looney Tunes artstyle but you absolutely fucking delivered
I would like to confess that I FULLY read Bugs Bunny as Bad Bunny and I just sat there for a moment contemplating the implications of Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio against Thanos.
If you have a PhD or an MD you can say shit like “Doctor’s orders” and you sound authoritative and powerful but if you’re a step short of those and you say “Master’s orders” you sound cringe as hell and possibly corrupted by the One Ring, this sucks
but go one step below that and say "Bachelor's orders" ? fun, flirty, potentially homosexual
gonna be honest, "Master's orders" is also extremely homosexual or at least gives the vibes that you're into dom/sub dynamics
"Associate's orders" just souns like a recommendation from a company representative low on the pole
my belief system: Cliff Marleau is a chill dude but he does not Know Things. When he finds out about hollanov, he's happy that Ilya is happy but also is sad for him because he thinks gay men can't do missionary and Hollander has a pretty face for a dude so the idea he can't look at him is upsetting
So after Shane leaves the Metros, the team starts sending out Hayden Pike to do press to cover their asses and keep their more asshole-ish players from saying slurs in front of reporters.
After one inconsequential game, a reporter asks about what Coach Theriault and Hayden think of the future of hockey with their former star player playing with his husband. Theriault says some shitty PR nothing answer laced with so much disdain that Hayden just. can't. take. anymore.
Obviously his team wants him to shit-talk his best friend and de facto brother-in-law who happen to be playing the best hockey of a generation (he will never let Ilya know he thinks this). The reporter obviously is chomping at the bit for a "dissension in the locker room" story that will make his life even more miserable. So, fuck the both of them.
"and how about you Hayden, what do you think about the future of hockey with Hollander and Rozanov?"
"Well, I think they should get on having kids, like surrogacy or adoption of something"
Dead silence, the reporter blinks in confusion. He can feel the glare coming off Theriault burning into the side of his face. He doesn’t turn his head and blithely goes on.
“Yeah, specifically 3 girls. I have 3 girls so if they have 3 girls, we’d have a whole hockey team to start in the pee-wees and get to the PWHL. My Ruby would obviously be a defender. She’d spend her whole life in the box, but she'd be such a good enforcer, especially if she was playing with her sisters. Jade is sneaky fast, so forward for her. And I know Amber is a baby, but I swear she’s got goalie eyes. My son Arthur is already the peacemaker of the family, so Uncle Shane could start training him up on all the rules so he can be our ref. But Shane and Ilya would have to get themselves another defender and a right or left wing with a center. Yep, that’s the future in hockey I’d love to see with Hollander and Rozanov”
Thus Hayden makes headlines bigger than any other time in his whole career. His time in the locker room does get shittier, but it’s all worth it for the call from Shane telling him that Ilya loved his vision of the future so much he cried looking at baby girl names online and researching PWHL teams.
something something 25 years later there's a PWHL team half comprised of Pikes and Rozanova-Hollanders absolutely annihilating everyone else youngest Rozanova-Hollander is dating Skip's child who is a biochemist and Arthur Pike is a professional figure skater something something send post
Lloyd and Harumi are an egregious missed opportunity for PEAK doomed sibling-ism and it could've been done completely without Harumi's gay ass pretending to be in love with him, because let's face it. We know it's possible to me emotionally entangled in someone else to the point where you can't be trusted to think about the situation clearly but you know who seems to forget about that when it comes to Lloyd and Harumi specifically??? The Ninjago writers.
A huuge reason so many people dislike Harumi is because of her relationship with Lloyd specifically, and I really just feel like they could've skipped the love interest side plot and skipped straight to the part where they're narrative foils to one another whose destinies were inherently intertwined, AND Harumi wanted to steal Lloyd's dad. Her adopted parents genuinely sucked, Garmadon was the one who stopped the Great Devourer (who Garmadon blamed for his evil path), and Lloyd was the one who couldn't save Garmadon in seasons 4 and 5.
That would've been soooo much better for the plot, and it wouldn't have made Garmadon later accepting Harumi as his child lowkey kind of weird. When Harumi was brought back, her and Lloyd's dynamic would've shifted, because forgiving someone who you once had deep platonic feelings for and who is lowkey kind of your sister is a LOT different than forgiving the girl who manipulated you into falling in love with you and then tried to kill you multiple times.
Not to mention that would've left open a route to bring back Harumi in Dragons Rising without things getting really weird really fast....
still a bit sad about the missed opportunity in heated rivalry for a scene where a brawl breaks out between Boston and Montreal and Shane and Ilya go for a hug like this "so the fight doesn't get unfair"
and noone if their teammates would get suspicious even if they do that regulary because these are the fucking star forwards of their respective teams, they can't risk it getting hurt in a fight, and actually they are so strong holding back even if they have their enemy in their faces (and yes that also applies to Ilya because he might be a more physical player he is weapon of choice is more chirping and antagonising that actually fighting).
also, Ilya would definitely use the chance to rile Shane up and get him hard and frustrated and so much more eager for the after party later
really ilya better thank his lucky fucking stars that shane's campaign against him smoking just consists of "i can smell it on you" and "that's bad for you."
because if man started breaking out the secondhand smoke statistics?? it's game OVER for your nicotine habit, my dude.
look into those big brown eyes and say you don't care about increasing his risk of cancer as well.
you will never touch another cigarette in your LIFE, motherfucker.
The final nail in the coffin is when one day Shane casually asks him how many babies they want while plucking an unlit cigarette out of Ilya's hand and then Ilya fucking bluescreens cause he can read a room when there's writing on the wall and babies? Babies!? Goodbye forever, cigarettes, right now, actually, didn't even like you in the first place, what even is nicotine anyways not good for kids is what it is. The most hypothetical children ever but Ilya will be damned if he's exposes their future kids to second hand smoke
If in doubt call Yuna by Bundog - (Rating: T, Words: 1,865)
When Rozanov gets knocked down, they have to call his emergency contact. So imagine Marlow's shock when Rozanov's emergency contact was Yuna Hollander
stand here with me by Anonymous - (Rating: T, Words: 3,932)
The team has just come back into the locker room and Ilya is sitting in front of his stall, unlacing his skates, when his world changes.
“Oh, fuck,” Bood says. He’s got his phone in his hand and a stricken expression on his face. “The Metros plane had to make an emergency landing.”
--
Or: Shane's plane is the one that almost crashes.
oh captain my captain by frozenmorningdew (goldenboygate) - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 2,589)
Shane Hollander learns exactly what the word 'Captain' does to his husband. He also learns that sometimes you have to burn sheets in a fire pit.
D'accord by drjamband - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 1,380)
Shane slips into French during sex. Ilya thinks it's hot.
Mother’s Weekend by thehdub - (Rating: G, Words: 8,154)
Mother’s Weekend is supposed to be joyful—team dinners, proud moms, and a little slice of home on the road. For Shane, it’s familiar. For Ilya, it’s a reminder of everything he’s lost.
When a small moment hits Ilya harder than he expects, Shane realizes he can’t leave him to face it alone. So he sends Yuna to Calgary—quietly, lovingly—giving Ilya something he hasn’t had in years: someone in his corner, like a mom would be.
shelter by floormusic - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 7,728)
He looks at Yuna, who looks at him back, seeming like she wants to say something but doesn’t know how.
“Shane says you have been a Metros fan for your entire life,” Ilya offers.
It’s a good starting spot. Things they both know. Shane. Hockey.
If I Go Down, You Go With Me by lunarmoonpies27 - (Rating: Mature, Words: 1,115)
Hollander didn’t fight on the ice often. Neither did Rozanov. But a team wide brawl between the Metros and the Raiders makes for some interesting foreplay.
call it what you want by lolwowgenetic - (Rating: Not Rated, Words: 3,825)
Hayden is pretty sure Shane won't mind if he drunkenly sneaks into his apartment at 2 am to crash on his couch.
But when the voice that wakes him up at 7 am the next morning belongs to Ilya Rozanov... He realizes that maybe he didn't think this one through.
or
Hayden finds out.
Same Side by Evilharlowe - (Rating: Mature, Words: 7,944)
Shane Hollander was a Voyageur for ten years. Now he's a Centaur, a husband, and the new guy on a team captained by the man he married. As training camp begins, Shane must navigate a new system, a new locker room, and the terrifying question of who he is when everything that defined him has changed — except the six-foot-three Russian who's loved him since they were seventeen and won't let him forget it.
body talk. by steelatoms - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 4,528)
Shane and Ilya haven't seen each other in weeks, but when their sex is interrupted by Shane having a breakdown, they finally talk about Vegas and their relationship at large.
february-ish hollanov reclist
read a lot of beautiful things recently. alphabetically.
another uninnocent, elegant fall by anonymous (explicit, 17k) ❣️
Seven scandals in the life of Ilya Rozanov.
a winner at heart by pressuretoparty (explicit, 32k) ❣️
Ilya laughs. He finds that once he starts, he can't stop. He laughs at the fact that he's in France with Shane Hollander. He laughs at the fact he's Shane Hollander's boyfriend. He laughs at the fact that he gave up Moscow for a better life, only to end up in fucking Ottawa. Ilya's dick stops working one month before he's supposed to leave for the South of France.
car wash redhead, tube top R.E.M. concert, juror #6 by rockbound (explicit, 3k)
The only trick is to have no fear, and even less fear than that the more trouble one is in. Ilya cannot teach that to a man who has directed his energies into becoming, not like a saint, but like a painting of a saint, all dripping in symbolism: the way the robe drapes here, yes, that is on purpose, and the angle of the light, the patron’s face in the crowd, the instrument of the martyrdom in his hand and the fruit in the bowl on the table, all arranged except when—
Clean by dinosour (explicit, 7k)
Rozanov cocks his head to the side curiously. “This is porn thing?” “It isn’t a porn thing!” “It feels different?” He asks, nosing along his throat. “For you?” “I don’t know, but I don’t think so.” Psychologically, yes; physically, probably not. He hadn’t felt whatever Rozanov had clearly felt the moment the condom broke. “Though I think it’ll feel different for you. Maybe better.” Rozanov pulls away until they can look each other in the eye. “I always feel good with you.” It doesn’t feel like a compliment, but like he’s making a point. “You don’t need to do this for me.” “I know. I want to do it.” Shane insists. Shane and Ilya experiment. It's a success.
Compatible by jewelledfoxes (explicit, 18k)
Ilya’s blood has always run hotter than Shane's. Or: Yay Hollanov free use! Everybody cheered!
cottaging by gone_girl (explicit, 10k) ❣️
Ilya was good at noticing things about people, and he was good at understanding them. Shane was not. That was okay. Shane had developed his own way of getting to know Ilya. It involved a lot of inane questions and, more importantly, no longer involved condoms.
Everything You Know by ineptshieldmaid (explicit, 6k)
"Is it weird," Ilya says, and Shane turns a little to meet his eyes, "That I have never done this?" "What, fingered me on a couch? I'm sure…" "No, Hollander," Ilya says, in the voice he reserves for when Shane is being particularly obtuse. "That is not what I mean."
fall in love again and again by Ehlihr (mature, 25k) ❣️
Shane wakes up on Tuesday at 5:26 AM on game day in Boston, four minutes before his alarm goes off. Shane wants it to be Wednesday. But no matter what, Shane wakes up on Tuesday at 5:26 AM on game day in Boston, four minutes before his alarm goes off. ”Fuck,” he croaks. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Chapter 1: Shane wakes up on the same Tuesday over and over again after leaving Rozanov in a rush. Tuesday is his second least favourite day of the week, so he's not really happy about it. Chapter 2: Ilya notices Shane acts strangely. He just never remembers.
found it on my own by coldhome (mature, 3k)
In the stale hallway of the Sports Hall of Fame, he understands the cottage more. He has to wander down unpaved paths for privacy. Ilya looks over at the growing crowd around Shane. There are things to learn, he decides. There are things to learn that cannot be kept behind glass in this wretched museum. Or, Ilya and Shane learn each other.
holding tightly when you invite me by thesehands (explicit, 7k)
“Actually, uh—“ Shane scratched the back of his neck and dropped his gaze to the floor by Ilya’s chair. “Would you mind if I sucked you off?”
“Would I mind?” Ilya asked. “No, I would not mind. You want my cock again that badly, Hollander?”
house rules by Calico (explicit, 6k)
Shane's brought Ilya to his cottage, which means something, doesn't it? And whether it's a test, or an experiment, or an audition - Ilya is determined he will triumph. By any means necessary.
jumping someone else's train by HeartOfDecember (explicit, 11k)
"Typical dirty Americans," Rozanov said. He took the pitcher and started pouring water into the four glasses. "You wear your shoes indoors and then you want to fuck someone else's husband and then you expect him to sleep in the same filthy sheets." Scott opened his mouth to retort back, but Rozanov, the gracious host, was handing him a cold glass of water. "Well, we will all get very dirty together tonight," he continued. "Shane, my sweetheart, you are outnumbered. Better hydrate." Hollander drank obediently. Needing something to do with his hands, Scott sipped his water, too. Kip traced circles lightly along his back. The silence that felt so pleasant outside by the fire now settled heavily over them. Scott cleared his throat. "So," he said. "What are we doing?" Rozanov looked at him like he was stupid. "Is it not obvious? We are going to run a train on my husband."
listen how the heart beats lying next to him by pumpkinless (explicit, 8k)
Every time a text came through about flight times, Shane thought that would be the last one. That Ilya would say, no, actually, but I cannot come to your home over the summer and fuck you in your bed for two weeks and kiss and play house like we are boyfriends, because we are hockey rivals and this has been a seven year long mistake. Also, I will be blocking your phone number and never want to see you again unless I am beating you on the ice. He had doubted every second until Ilya was finally in his car in the airport parking garage.
love and lust (wanna be yours) by blankjournal (explicit, 12k)
“You really wouldn’t mind if I had sex with someone else?” Ilya does mind. Hearing it said back to him, almost makes him flinch, a sudden and brittle sound right next to his ear that he fails to recoil from in time. But he swallows back the bitter truth and replies, “Of course not. If that is what you want.” He waits, sitting on his living room couch, phone pressed painfully against his ear, his other hand gripping his knees till his knuckles blanched. He could feel his own heart rattling behind his ribs, pulse rockingloudly. His mind was an echo of alarm, demanding of him: Why isn't Shane saying anything? It was the loudest silence he’s ever lived through, until Shane finally said, “Okay.” OR: inspired by the fight in TLG where Ilya tells Shane he can sleep with other men. But this time, Shane actually takes the offer.
Menace by Charlotte_Stant (mature, 5k) ❣️
Of course Ilya had known that Shane would come back but it was gratifying, still, the text from Jane, Can we meet up when you’re here tomorrow, I don’t care where. I really need to see you. The intimation, probably accidental, that Shane was so very desperate he was open to the idea of Ilya fucking him in the street. Ilya typed and deleted many potential replies, which was not characteristic of him. (Or: Shane gets blackmailed. Ilya handles it.)
See You at the Melting Point by DeclaredDove (explicit, 1.5k)
Hollander has a lot of commercials. Ilya has favorites. For normal reasons.-- --OR Ilya wants. It’s a problem.
speed limit by radialarch (teen, 1k)
82 games in a season doesn't leave much time for braving traffic on the 417.
sympathy fuck by lustmord (explicit, 10k) ❣️
We won’t release a statement right away, someone from the front office said, but if you’re missing a couple games there’s going to be questions. What are we going to call it? A family emergency? Ilya had almost laughed. What emergency? His father is already fucking dead.
the gift by stammiviktor (mature, 8k)
Ilya wanted so badly to just tell Svetlana: It’s Shane Hollander, it’s always been Shane Hollander. He wanted to invite her over after the game so he'd know it was possible for her and Shane to exist in the same room without the world collapsing. He was calling Shane back before he even thought about it, his heart in his throat. “Ilya?” “Can I invite Svetlana?" He could never have expected what happened next. Or: Only a few months after the cottage, Shane meets Svetlana—and goes to great lengths to defeat his jealousy.
whispers carried on second wind by MilesbyMicah (explicit, 5k)
In which Ilya perceives Shane a little more than he’s allowed to, so Shane uses the tried and true Ilya Rozanov™ method of deflecting with sex. Set ambiguously sometime in episode 4 just before the tuna melt scene.
hollanov fic rec list, part FOUR (lists one, two, three five six seven eight nine ten eleven here). i read too much fic. don't worry about it. also the vast majority of these are explicit this time
game day superstition explicit, 4k, oneshot. part of a series. shane has an oral fixation and takes something of ilya's before the game. this was hot AND it made me laugh
vodka cranberry explicit, 5k, oneshot. shane drops the vodka glass and almost passes out getting out of the vegas penthouse. ilya takes care of him. very good emotional hurt/comfort, treading some ground on shane's eating stuff so keep an eye out if you're sensitive to that
telepathy explicit, 4k, oneshot. ilya bottoms for shane for the first time after he wins the cup. there's some fun toys too. slightly ooc, but by god is it hot
butter soft in the moonlight explicit, 2k, oneshot. cnc AND ilya wearing leather gloves. these guys are so hot for each other that they will start a scene at the drop of a hat.
guilty pleasure SERIES. three fics, 8k total. ilya likes shane in lingerie. shane likes wearing it, and he likes ilya's reaction even more. one fic per set.
(and i want these words to) make things right 42k, explicit, complete. after the 2011-2013 MHL lockout, ilya finds himself in a situation- the russian team doesn't want him returning to america. clearly, the only solution shane and ilya see is to start a secret (fake? neither of them are sure) engagement. (one of them should've thought to consult a lawyer, maybe, but what's logic in the face of two dumbasses?)
the cadence of a secret 38k, explicit, complete. soulmate au, with some magic in the background. their bond means that they can't speak out loud with or of one another, or the pain they feel while they're apart increases. they fight against it for longer than anyone else would, but they fall in love nonetheless. this sounds out of character for me and my non-soulmate hollanov agenda, BUT it's very good and i adore the thought put into it as well as their dynamics. communication is their curse and their solution, and they choose each other in a way that i LOVE to see in a soulmate au.
was it love or fear of the cold that led us through the night? explicit, 19k, complete. a remix of the tuna melt, but in different circumstances- ilya and shane get snowed in inside of shane's apartment in montreal. without the possibility of running away, the intimacy of cohabitation goes a little differently.
j'n'ai qu'une envie (c'est toi) explicit, 5k, oneshot. part of a series. omegaverse, alpha/alpha knotting fic (who cheered!!). shane's in rut, ilya gives him what he wants.
collapsed in the act of just being here explicit, 18k, oneshot. hollanov get vegas married in secret, try to annul it, torment hayden pike, and cohabitate.
hold me like your cards (close to your chest) explicit, 2k, oneshot. ilya thinks about fucking shane's tits. it becomes a reality. these two match each other's freak to an almost cute degree.
also for today's non-explicit fic, one of each rating:
the acres of the walls, the prairies of the floors gen, 1k, oneshot. yuna meets rozanov in the hospital gift shop. she hates him a little less.
interlude: the gay hockey WAGs teen, 1k, oneshot. part of a series. textfic. kip doesn't know who jane is beyond dating ilya rozanov, but they get along well regardless, even as that involves sneaking 'jane' into the admirals' WAGs group chat for moral support against the straights.
jane & lily series, two works. mature, 8k, both fics are complete. separately, montreal and boston reach out to 'lily' and 'jane' and add them to a groupchat in order to make sure their captain does their best. very funny, all these hockey players are a mess and it's great.
