Ki Harder

knocking at the door tell them that my name is Hike then they ask "haiku?"

[computer-voiced-by-majel-barrett]

Shoutout to my favorite genre of TOS episode:

[dduane]

…I can’t think how it took me so long to run across this. I feel privileged to have been found by it. 😄

[dingdongyouarewrong]

i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.

[averagejoey2000]

[dingdongyouarewrong]

well damn . egg on my face

[dingdongyouarewrong]

THE PLOT THICKENS @averagejoey2000 explain yourself

[averagejoey2000]

I can't believe this is how I'm finding out that I got a scam forklift cert.

I took the cargo ops class at school but my teacher explained that it doesn't give a certification and I'd only be okay for ship's crane and the school forklifts. she said I could take an online exam and get my cert. I paid 60 bucks.

I'm googling and I'm seeing a lot of resources saying that the online programs cover the classroom part of the exam but not the in person practical aspect.

29 CFR 1910.178 (l)(2)(ii)

but I did the in person practical shit at school.

[averagejoey2000]

the back of the card even had fancy numbers on it. I couldn't have known that this isn't the one. this website sounded more official than certifyme.net, and there wasn't one with a .gov address.

[averagejoey2000]

so, I emailed OSHA, and they said that so long as I live and work in California, there's no such thing as forklift certification. I have to be told how to do it every time I get the job.

[averagejoey2000]

Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.

[valtsv]

kind of love it when someone is given a position of power they don't want and instead of being all reluctantly noble and stepping up to bravely bear the burden they're an immature cunt about it

[valtsv]

i don't mean competently evil. i don't mean they get tragically and sexily corrupted into becoming a suave, sensual dominator. i mean they recognise the illusion of choice and privelege that they've been collared with and regress to crying and throwing fits and sulking and indulging in petty cruelty like an overgrown child in the hope that someone "better" will decide they're unfit to rule and take it all away from them.

[lichgirlboobs]

"you're biased in favor of trans women" yes. i am. and i'm entirely right for it.

[memeclassheroes]

[fanofviolet]

Making a cult and sometimes making them eat their own poop

[atwotonedbird]

Taking unsolicited photographs (if that's even illegal)

[milwkwyxd]

Apparently murdering a suicidal gay prince, overthrowing a god who’s also head of the government, literally just murdering the former country leaders (who are now rebel leaders) in retirement, prison break, and infrastructure destruction and loss of many lives cuz I happen to be related (siblings) to crude oil

[non-cannon]

Owning a house and becoming a baron at age 14? Is that a crime if my dead uncle who was the previous baron said he wanted me to?

[dragon-in-a-fez]

grave robbing and/or antiquities trafficking

[amultitudeofyellowrodents]

just von Neumann probe things TM

[bonnettbee]

Worm-on-a-string puppy mill 😔

[bunjywunjy]

aggressive wildlife management (lance)

[kiharder]

word crimes

[oh-no-its-bird]

Pilot dropped his water bottle underneath the console and it got stuck behind the peddles; They were talking to maintenance and asking them for a giant stick to try and poke it out from under there because obviously, that's a HUGE safety hazard. I finally bullied my way into the cockpit insisting I was small enough to try and just grab it and managed to wiggle under and get it in like 5 seconds flat.

They looked at me in pure awe. I have never felt more powerful.

[oh-no-its-bird]

Artistic rendition

[dankxsinatra]

[roxylalonde]

[todayintokyo]

Volleyball player Yuji Nishida accidentally hit a line judge. This is how he apologized.

[rakkzi]

[when-the-world-spins-backwards]

[tiptapismellbullcrap]

One thing that i think these heatwaves demonstrate is that no one in power fucking cares.

They dont care enough to fight against climate change

They dont care enough to protect people from unsafe working conditions

They dont care enough to provide the infrastructure that will help keep people cool and save lives.

They dont give a fuck about us, and they dont get called out bc we’re all to busy fighting non-europeans and climate deniers online about how this is a serious issue that they largely get away without any blame.

This is just the beginning of the heat wave. Forty people have died in France from drowning trying to cool off since Thursday. Schools are shutting early because its unsafe.

And we still have this rich fucks bitching about how we don’t just buckle down and get through it, always bringing up the heatwave of 1976 as some gotcha (yeah, some people made it through just fine, but 2,500 people died, systems collapsed, violent crimes increased), and just fanning the flames of the situation. Its patronising to those experiencing the heat w nothing to help, and it encourages the fuck ass climate deniers.

[crafty-butch]

anyone else notice how when "digital assistants" were just supposed to do specific tasks when you asked for them we had Alexa and Siri and Cortana, but now that they're being marketed as smart enough to take actions and make decisions on their own they've got names like Claude and Devin

[verdictvelvet]

fucker! we wanted to trek those

[levourdalak]

I dreamt that there was a new meme that went, “If I dids it, I dids it. If I didsn’t, I didsn’t.” There was a third line, but I forgot what it was.

[nifeandaccurate]

happy to report i’m back on my bullshit

and a rare variant

[levourdalak]

HOW DID YOU KNOW THEY WERE CAT MEMES IN MY DREAM

[nifeandaccurate]

>:3€

[levourdalak]

THAT’S IT, THAT’S THE MEME FROM MY DREAM

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[fizpup]

Get real.

[pastelpolitoed]

tumblr glitched while loading this, so instead of "dude get real" being the punchline, it was like this cat put on glasses for the first time and their friend was just. a legit dog. and not like them at all.

[fizpup]

This is killing me

[slimetony]

Just tried to play an ancient flute and it started filling the room with this awful miasma that wont go away

[slimetony]

Why does staff still allow people funnier than you to leave tags on your posts. They should have fixed that by now

[apolladay]

Before you are two magic buttons. Button A: you will never have to clean your kitchen again (dishes are automatically done; floor swept and mopped; etc). Button B: you will never have to clean your bathroom again (toilet & sink & tub/shower cleaned and sanitized; etc) Which button do you push?

A

B

Voting ended onJun 3

[heliophile-oxon]

So many comments, many of them wise and all of them heartfelt, and yet nobody has thought to add ...

the fridge-freezer is in the kitchen. Not only are there dishes every day, not only are there food preparation surfaces of various kinds every day, not only are there crumbs and odds and ends that fall on the floor every day ... but the fridge-freezer is in the kitchen. The oven is in the kitchen, the food cupboards are in the kitchen, and above all THE KITCHEN BIN IS IN THE KITCHEN.

I mean, it's not like the bathroom is all sweetness and light, but seriously! Who in their right mind is choosing the bathroom?!?!?!?

Ils sont fous, ces Romains tumblrains.

[sufficientlylargen]

Having a magically-self-cleaning bathroom would be cool, but it wouldn't dramatically change my lifestyle.

If I could cook or bake whatever the hell I wanted, knowing that all my pots and mixing bowls and baking sheets would just zap themselves clean when I finished? If I knew that I could spill batter or grease inside the oven or burn things onto baking racks and it would just go away? I would be making delicious shit constantly.

[earhartsease]

from @baddywronglegs

#You can piss in the kitchen sink but you can't make lasagna in the shower

@theshitpostcalligrapher this one deserves to be writ large

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

yeag.....

[jake-clark]

[meiiiwaku]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame @worldheritagepostorganization

[hellsite-hall-of-fame]

is this the ORIGINAL?!???

[laughconfetti]

[creepymutelilbugger]

oh holy shit i didn’t even know where this meme came from

[roses-blog-of-things-deactivate]

OH MY ACTUAL GOD THE ORIGINAL

[thenumberonevelvetcake]

ORIGINALS ON THE ROLL

[jdawg696911]

Captain Picard tries out his new trampoline on the bridge

[seraphinial]