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KING MALLOY

@king-malloy

My friends call me, "a gremlin creature that lives in everyone's basement". They/Them.

6,655 posts

Aug 10

Mark Rothko, Untitled, 1952 oil on canvas 81 x 68 in. Collection of Kate Rothko Prizel Catalogue Raisonne Number: 472 Estate Number: 5149.53 © 1998 Kate Rothko Prizel & Christopher Rothko / Artists Rights Society (ARS), New York

Aug 10

I realised today that frog feet are kind of ideal for wearing heels and well then I accidentally

aspiring-weird-old-man

Get the look:

This is a fucking phenomenal addition.

excellentblurrecognition

#if I could walk in heels this would instantly become my next cosplay/halloween costume

2 months is long enough to learn to walk in heels, and there is two months still until halloween

For clarity: it is not that I don't know *how* to walk in heels; I have some limited experience with this from highschool days. Rather, I have a fun thing where when I point my toes it causes my foot to cramp horrifically. Even just walking on tip-toe can sometimes cause this. So, no heels for me, alas.

Aug 10

i like when a piece of media says that an all-powerful character "sees humans as insects" because that really could mean a lot of things. maybe they view us as insignifigant and will squish us under their boot. maybe theyre actually studying and cataloguing us for their thesis paper. maybe theyre campaigning for human protection because we're an important part of their ecosystem. maybe they see a human and go "ew ew ewwwwww someone get the cup and get that FREAK out of my house." .

Aug 10

"masculinity is rewarded in women" "masculinity is accepted in women"

I had a friend who woke up at 4am to shower and apply makeup and everything. Lost literally sleep just to do this, wasted at least 3 hours each day. One day, she didn't feel like it and went to work without makeup. Her boss, a woman, pestered her all day and wanted to send her home. She never went to work without makeup again

The daughter of an acquaintance went to a nice school and sang in a choir there for years. Was very good, went to every concert. When she was about 15, she cut her hair. She still agreed to wear the mandatory gown even though she was a "tomboy". She just loved choir. School banned her from representing school. Because of her hair. Because girls should have long hair or the "aesthetics" were off

I'm not a woman or female but I'm read as such and whenever I have a buzzcut, strangers I've barely spoken to just try to touch it. Touch my head. Just reach out and caress my head without asking. Because they "want to know what it feels like"

Women who don't perform femininity (correctly) get harassed and their bodily autonomy taken away. They get bullied and touched without consent. They get everything commented on (if you think "brave" is a compliment you've never had it used on you)

If you don't think that femininity is enforced, and often violently, you're either a moron or you have no good intentions

In any case, I'm just not interested in what you have to say

In any case, I’m

just not interested in

what you have to say

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

Aug 10

This idea just would not leave my head until drawn

please don't tag as bloody//mary

Aug 10

Been getting into nothing lately

Aug 10

Wonderful photo

Aug 10

If you puke up NyQuil it is a very vivid and not fun red.

should i worry about you???

Probably, most people do. Also red vomit does not go well with white shoes.

can I help you in any way?

I'd say shoot me, but from previous discussions I can make the inference that you neither have nor know how to use a gun.

yeah, guns are pretty tightly regulated here. and I'm a bit too far away to hit even if I could. if you want to, I could come over and end you with a pen? i can do that sort of thing

I feel like a pen is a much more brutal way to kill someone, like that takes time that a gun wouldn't take, and also no, I would never wish the U.S. prison system on you.<3

I could choke you quite effectively? you'd be asleep in three seconds flat, it'd hardly hurt.

It's not abiut the pain it's abiut the duration of the murder and I have a surprisingly good lung capacity for someone that started amoking pot at 11, so I think choking might also take a bit too long.

if I do it right, it's not about the lung capacity, it's about cutting off the bloodflow to the brain. you could be able to hold your breath for three hours, if the bloodflow to the brain is cut off, I can tell you with certainty that you will be out cold in three seconds

Why don't you just slice my coratid, feels like that'd be faster.

I'd have to aquire a weapon and cleaning would be horribleand you'd just start drowning in youe blood. it might actually take longer

Not if you slice multiple arteries, don't worry about the mess crime techs clean that shit and I can supply so many sharp weapons I have 3 giant knives and a hachet all in the same drawer and multiple other slicers in mulitple other places.

I'm not sure I want to see your kitchen if you keep a hatchet there. and I was more worried about cleaning me and my clothes. plus, consensual premeditated murder does not look good on a resume

Who the fuck keeps a hachet in their kitchen, bro that's my drsser drawer and 2 feet away theres a machete my mom got at Wal-Mart, because this is America, where you can get a machete at Wal-Mart. But fair point about the clothes I didn't think of that, but quick fix, tarp.

now i have more questions about walmart and about your dresser. i am just going to assume "Murica is wild" and not ask. the tarp is a good idea.

Very fair. I'll tell you about my dresser anyway, in the top drawer I have 2-3 very large hand made(not by me) knives, a small hatchet with a pink bow on it called Cuntchet, and a type of gun that is 100% legal in America that can work as both an air soft and an actual gun that I got from my grandma after she died and that she got from a man who got it in Canada, it has no bullets for the actual gun function and no air canister for the air soft function and is mostly for if I need help intimidating someone which I never do as I am intimidating enough as is.

weirdest infodump I've ever heard. please tell me more <3

Thank you I try my best to be odd, I have a golf club in a corner of my room despite never having played golf, multiple pocket knives in a giant jar mixed with a bunch of lighters, a bat in my brothers car and I believe one in mine as well, you can literally never be too prepared and I'm hoping the apocalypse will happen soon, because I want capitalism to die.

huh, I thought the apocalypse already happened, like, two years ago and we're already in hell. tell me more about your random stuff :)

I think thats all the weapons I have, but don't quote me on that, because I've finally gotten to a point in my day where I'm not in public and I don't have anymore shit to do so my brain is melting fast.

hm. damn. *headpat

Ty.

Aug 9

not many people know this but when talking about your multiple pronoun-using friend you build up a combo meter for every subsequent unique pronoun you use

Aug 9

I appreciate how the GOP response to affordability and the cost of living crisis is now “take the L, broke loser, we hate you” that sort of honesty in politics is so rare.

Aug 9

I’m still working my way through City Council of Darkness, and it’s SO funny, but Bat Child is just hitting hard sometimes, especially with her conversation with HJ. She was just a typical student and this life-changing event happened to her out of nowhere. It’s been twenty years and she’s only acknowledging exactly what it was now. She can’t pursue her dreams in the same way that she’d planned to before- yes, she can still study zoology, but she has to find new ways to do it, to work around her new limitations, and other people around her don’t always seem to completely get that. It’s really impactful.

Aug 9

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

Aug 9

just realized my crab rangoon posts are always made the same time of the month…..

my body is like “AH! we’re loosing blood. we need to replace it with cream cheese and imitation crab…”

actually, this is a matter totally unrelated to menstruation. you see, I was once afflicted with the curse of lycanthropy and I consumed an imperfect cure that makes me bleed from my nail beds and uncontrollably crave crab rangoons during a certain phase of the moon. very irritating.

Aug 9

If you puke up NyQuil it is a very vivid and not fun red.

should i worry about you???

Probably, most people do. Also red vomit does not go well with white shoes.

can I help you in any way?

I'd say shoot me, but from previous discussions I can make the inference that you neither have nor know how to use a gun.

yeah, guns are pretty tightly regulated here. and I'm a bit too far away to hit even if I could. if you want to, I could come over and end you with a pen? i can do that sort of thing

I feel like a pen is a much more brutal way to kill someone, like that takes time that a gun wouldn't take, and also no, I would never wish the U.S. prison system on you.<3

I could choke you quite effectively? you'd be asleep in three seconds flat, it'd hardly hurt.

It's not abiut the pain it's abiut the duration of the murder and I have a surprisingly good lung capacity for someone that started amoking pot at 11, so I think choking might also take a bit too long.

if I do it right, it's not about the lung capacity, it's about cutting off the bloodflow to the brain. you could be able to hold your breath for three hours, if the bloodflow to the brain is cut off, I can tell you with certainty that you will be out cold in three seconds

Why don't you just slice my coratid, feels like that'd be faster.

I'd have to aquire a weapon and cleaning would be horribleand you'd just start drowning in youe blood. it might actually take longer

Not if you slice multiple arteries, don't worry about the mess crime techs clean that shit and I can supply so many sharp weapons I have 3 giant knives and a hachet all in the same drawer and multiple other slicers in mulitple other places.

I'm not sure I want to see your kitchen if you keep a hatchet there. and I was more worried about cleaning me and my clothes. plus, consensual premeditated murder does not look good on a resume

Who the fuck keeps a hachet in their kitchen, bro that's my drsser drawer and 2 feet away theres a machete my mom got at Wal-Mart, because this is America, where you can get a machete at Wal-Mart. But fair point about the clothes I didn't think of that, but quick fix, tarp.

now i have more questions about walmart and about your dresser. i am just going to assume "Murica is wild" and not ask. the tarp is a good idea.

Very fair. I'll tell you about my dresser anyway, in the top drawer I have 2-3 very large hand made(not by me) knives, a small hatchet with a pink bow on it called Cuntchet, and a type of gun that is 100% legal in America that can work as both an air soft and an actual gun that I got from my grandma after she died and that she got from a man who got it in Canada, it has no bullets for the actual gun function and no air canister for the air soft function and is mostly for if I need help intimidating someone which I never do as I am intimidating enough as is.

weirdest infodump I've ever heard. please tell me more <3

Thank you I try my best to be odd, I have a golf club in a corner of my room despite never having played golf, multiple pocket knives in a giant jar mixed with a bunch of lighters, a bat in my brothers car and I believe one in mine as well, you can literally never be too prepared and I'm hoping the apocalypse will happen soon, because I want capitalism to die.

huh, I thought the apocalypse already happened, like, two years ago and we're already in hell. tell me more about your random stuff :)

I think thats all the weapons I have, but don't quote me on that, because I've finally gotten to a point in my day where I'm not in public and I don't have anymore shit to do so my brain is melting fast.

I'm also in the firm belief that the apocalypse doesn't until capitalism has taken a tremendous hit and/or has died.

Aug 9

If you puke up NyQuil it is a very vivid and not fun red.

should i worry about you???

Probably, most people do. Also red vomit does not go well with white shoes.

can I help you in any way?

I'd say shoot me, but from previous discussions I can make the inference that you neither have nor know how to use a gun.

yeah, guns are pretty tightly regulated here. and I'm a bit too far away to hit even if I could. if you want to, I could come over and end you with a pen? i can do that sort of thing

I feel like a pen is a much more brutal way to kill someone, like that takes time that a gun wouldn't take, and also no, I would never wish the U.S. prison system on you.<3

I could choke you quite effectively? you'd be asleep in three seconds flat, it'd hardly hurt.

It's not abiut the pain it's abiut the duration of the murder and I have a surprisingly good lung capacity for someone that started amoking pot at 11, so I think choking might also take a bit too long.

if I do it right, it's not about the lung capacity, it's about cutting off the bloodflow to the brain. you could be able to hold your breath for three hours, if the bloodflow to the brain is cut off, I can tell you with certainty that you will be out cold in three seconds

Why don't you just slice my coratid, feels like that'd be faster.

I'd have to aquire a weapon and cleaning would be horribleand you'd just start drowning in youe blood. it might actually take longer

Not if you slice multiple arteries, don't worry about the mess crime techs clean that shit and I can supply so many sharp weapons I have 3 giant knives and a hachet all in the same drawer and multiple other slicers in mulitple other places.

I'm not sure I want to see your kitchen if you keep a hatchet there. and I was more worried about cleaning me and my clothes. plus, consensual premeditated murder does not look good on a resume

Who the fuck keeps a hachet in their kitchen, bro that's my drsser drawer and 2 feet away theres a machete my mom got at Wal-Mart, because this is America, where you can get a machete at Wal-Mart. But fair point about the clothes I didn't think of that, but quick fix, tarp.

now i have more questions about walmart and about your dresser. i am just going to assume "Murica is wild" and not ask. the tarp is a good idea.

Very fair. I'll tell you about my dresser anyway, in the top drawer I have 2-3 very large hand made(not by me) knives, a small hatchet with a pink bow on it called Cuntchet, and a type of gun that is 100% legal in America that can work as both an air soft and an actual gun that I got from my grandma after she died and that she got from a man who got it in Canada, it has no bullets for the actual gun function and no air canister for the air soft function and is mostly for if I need help intimidating someone which I never do as I am intimidating enough as is.

weirdest infodump I've ever heard. please tell me more <3

Thank you I try my best to be odd, I have a golf club in a corner of my room despite never having played golf, multiple pocket knives in a giant jar mixed with a bunch of lighters, a bat in my brothers car and I believe one in mine as well, you can literally never be too prepared and I'm hoping the apocalypse will happen soon, because I want capitalism to die.

huh, I thought the apocalypse already happened, like, two years ago and we're already in hell. tell me more about your random stuff :)

I think thats all the weapons I have, but don't quote me on that, because I've finally gotten to a point in my day where I'm not in public and I don't have anymore shit to do so my brain is melting fast.

Aug 9

If you puke up NyQuil it is a very vivid and not fun red.

should i worry about you???

Probably, most people do. Also red vomit does not go well with white shoes.

can I help you in any way?

I'd say shoot me, but from previous discussions I can make the inference that you neither have nor know how to use a gun.

yeah, guns are pretty tightly regulated here. and I'm a bit too far away to hit even if I could. if you want to, I could come over and end you with a pen? i can do that sort of thing

I feel like a pen is a much more brutal way to kill someone, like that takes time that a gun wouldn't take, and also no, I would never wish the U.S. prison system on you.<3

I could choke you quite effectively? you'd be asleep in three seconds flat, it'd hardly hurt.

It's not abiut the pain it's abiut the duration of the murder and I have a surprisingly good lung capacity for someone that started amoking pot at 11, so I think choking might also take a bit too long.

if I do it right, it's not about the lung capacity, it's about cutting off the bloodflow to the brain. you could be able to hold your breath for three hours, if the bloodflow to the brain is cut off, I can tell you with certainty that you will be out cold in three seconds

Why don't you just slice my coratid, feels like that'd be faster.

I'd have to aquire a weapon and cleaning would be horribleand you'd just start drowning in youe blood. it might actually take longer

Not if you slice multiple arteries, don't worry about the mess crime techs clean that shit and I can supply so many sharp weapons I have 3 giant knives and a hachet all in the same drawer and multiple other slicers in mulitple other places.

I'm not sure I want to see your kitchen if you keep a hatchet there. and I was more worried about cleaning me and my clothes. plus, consensual premeditated murder does not look good on a resume

Who the fuck keeps a hachet in their kitchen, bro that's my drsser drawer and 2 feet away theres a machete my mom got at Wal-Mart, because this is America, where you can get a machete at Wal-Mart. But fair point about the clothes I didn't think of that, but quick fix, tarp.

now i have more questions about walmart and about your dresser. i am just going to assume "Murica is wild" and not ask. the tarp is a good idea.

Very fair. I'll tell you about my dresser anyway, in the top drawer I have 2-3 very large hand made(not by me) knives, a small hatchet with a pink bow on it called Cuntchet, and a type of gun that is 100% legal in America that can work as both an air soft and an actual gun that I got from my grandma after she died and that she got from a man who got it in Canada, it has no bullets for the actual gun function and no air canister for the air soft function and is mostly for if I need help intimidating someone which I never do as I am intimidating enough as is.

weirdest infodump I've ever heard. please tell me more <3

Thank you I try my best to be odd, I have a golf club in a corner of my room despite never having played golf, multiple pocket knives in a giant jar mixed with a bunch of lighters, a bat in my brothers car and I believe one in mine as well, you can literally never be too prepared and I'm hoping the apocalypse will happen soon, because I want capitalism to die.

Aug 9

If you puke up NyQuil it is a very vivid and not fun red.

should i worry about you???

Probably, most people do. Also red vomit does not go well with white shoes.

can I help you in any way?

I'd say shoot me, but from previous discussions I can make the inference that you neither have nor know how to use a gun.

yeah, guns are pretty tightly regulated here. and I'm a bit too far away to hit even if I could. if you want to, I could come over and end you with a pen? i can do that sort of thing

I feel like a pen is a much more brutal way to kill someone, like that takes time that a gun wouldn't take, and also no, I would never wish the U.S. prison system on you.<3

I could choke you quite effectively? you'd be asleep in three seconds flat, it'd hardly hurt.

It's not abiut the pain it's abiut the duration of the murder and I have a surprisingly good lung capacity for someone that started amoking pot at 11, so I think choking might also take a bit too long.

if I do it right, it's not about the lung capacity, it's about cutting off the bloodflow to the brain. you could be able to hold your breath for three hours, if the bloodflow to the brain is cut off, I can tell you with certainty that you will be out cold in three seconds

Why don't you just slice my coratid, feels like that'd be faster.

I'd have to aquire a weapon and cleaning would be horribleand you'd just start drowning in youe blood. it might actually take longer

Not if you slice multiple arteries, don't worry about the mess crime techs clean that shit and I can supply so many sharp weapons I have 3 giant knives and a hachet all in the same drawer and multiple other slicers in mulitple other places.

I'm not sure I want to see your kitchen if you keep a hatchet there. and I was more worried about cleaning me and my clothes. plus, consensual premeditated murder does not look good on a resume

Who the fuck keeps a hachet in their kitchen, bro that's my drsser drawer and 2 feet away theres a machete my mom got at Wal-Mart, because this is America, where you can get a machete at Wal-Mart. But fair point about the clothes I didn't think of that, but quick fix, tarp.

now i have more questions about walmart and about your dresser. i am just going to assume "Murica is wild" and not ask. the tarp is a good idea.

Very fair. I'll tell you about my dresser anyway, in the top drawer I have 2-3 very large hand made(not by me) knives, a small hatchet with a pink bow on it called Cuntchet, and a type of gun that is 100% legal in America that can work as both an air soft and an actual gun that I got from my grandma after she died and that she got from a man who got it in Canada, it has no bullets for the actual gun function and no air canister for the air soft function and is mostly for if I need help intimidating someone which I never do as I am intimidating enough as is.

weirdest infodump I've ever heard. please tell me more <3

KING MALLOY @king-malloy - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag