Hi! I’ve gotten a few messages the past few days about how to get started in your interest in DD/lg and/or how to bring up your interest to someone that you are already involved with.
So here are some tips to work with! (I will probably add more as I think of them.
🌼Always start slow. Guage your partner’s interest by starting slow and introducing them into concepts and aspects of it before the whole thing.
🌼Going off of the above - don’t suddenly introduce 30 rules and constant submission. These relationships take time to get used to and both partners need to be cooperative with that.
🌼Your relationship can be anything that you want it to be. It doesn’t have to fit into one category that you’ve seen online.
🌼You don’t have to call your caregiver Daddy/Mommy for them to be your caregiver. The same goes for littles and Babygirl/Babyboy. Names are personal things and both parties should be comfortable with them.
🌼EVEN IF YOU’RE NON-SEXUAL YOU SHOULD STILL HAVE SAFE WORDS BECAUSE EMOTIONAL TRAUMA IS JUST AS HARMFUL AS PHYSICAL/SEXUAL TRAUMA.
🌼Tell your partner if you have any mental illness or disorder that they need to keep in mind when creating rules and/or taking care of you.
🌼If you’re just starting out - keep your lines of communication open. Both parties should disclose their expectations for the relationship. This helps both parties feel secure and comfortable.
🌼Remember that all relationships are different and it’s not a good idea to base yours off of someone else’s.
🌼Make an effort to learn about your partner in the unspoken ways. Part of the appeal of a DD/lg relationship is your partner knowing you better than you know yourself.
🌼Remember that the primary goal of these relationships is to help both parties become the best versions of themselves.
🌼Don’t be afraid to experiment with things that you never thought you would have an interest in. I’ve surprised myself many times. But remember that you’re not under any obligation to try things that you don’t want to.
🌼Sit down with your partner and discuss/write down all the aspects of the relationship. Possible rules, aftercare, interests, punishments, rewards. This helps avoid misconceptions.
🌼Be careful. Don’t get involved with anyone that you don’t know very well. It’s important to always be friends before you allow yourself to disclose this very personal part of yourself.
🌼Your partner might not be into the same things that you are and that’s okay. It’s up to you to decide what you believe in necessary in your relationship.
🌼Remember that there is a very large community of people online and around you that you can go to for information. Most people are open to talking about these things and giving advice when needed.
🌼Get informed! Do your own research online and don’t expect your partner to teach you everything that you need to know. If you want them to know that you’re interested and invested - you have to show them that you are.
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