All Bets Are Off

This blog is a beaker full of shenanigans. This is where general nonsense and things that can't go on the regular blog go. It'll mostly be puns, Cards Against Humanity, and stupid text posts. Warning: 50% of this stuff will probably contain triggers of some sort. My apologies.

[thelastofthedilettantes]

Guys, for people worried about the abortion bill that’s just been passed, this could prove to be useful and helpful information.

Please reblog!

[kingofthewilderwest]

I fucking hate pants I want my legs to run wild and free

[kittium-unleashed]

I felt this post in my soul.

[nowyoukno]

[fangirling-so-hard-rn]

Crows are scary They

use tools

Can be taught to speak (like parrots)

Have huge brains for birds

like seriously their brain-to-body size ratio is equal to that of a chimpanzee

They vocalize anger, sadness, or happiness in response to things

they are scary smart at solving puzzles

some crows stay with their mates until one of them dies

they can remember faces

SIDENOTE HERE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT.  They did an experiment where these guys wore masks and some of them fucked with crows.  Pretty soon the crows recognized the masks = douchebag.  But the nice guys with masks they left alone.  THEN, OH WE’RE NOT DONE, NO SIR crows that WEREN’T EVEN IN THE EXPERIMENT AND NEVER SAW THE MASK BEFORE knew about mask-dudes and attacked them on sight.  THEY PASSED ON THE FUCKING INFORMATION TO THEIR CROW BUDDIES.

They remember places where crows were killed by farmers and change their migration patterns.

Guys I’m really scared of crows now. (q) 

[doctormemelordmd]

Yeah but have you seen this 

[stultiloquentia]

A colleague of my dad’s lives next to a lake, and looked out the window one morning to see a duck trapped in the ice. A crow swooped down. “Oh hell,” she thought, expecting carnage, because crows are opportunists. But the crow chipped at the ice with its beak until the duck was free.

[warwyrd-deactivated20170724]

Idk of this counts but a few crows saved me from a magpie swooping attack once ,they’re bros who can tell when magpies are being unreasonable and need to chill

[reallymisscoffee]

I love crows so damn much. When I was fifteen, I hit a pretty serious bout of depression, to the point I was in my room for months. Well, a family of crows made a nest in a tree outside my window. There were two parents and two chicks. One chick was healthy and strong. One was weak, and had a caw like something being strained. It sounded more like a rooster crowing and so my parents jokingly named him ‘Buck’.Well… months passed and Buck’s sibling was taught to fly. His parents focused on the sibling because the sibling was strong. The father stayed behind to try and teach Buck, but I saw him try to fly, fail, and crash to the floor. His father helped him back up into the tree.

Every day, I would watch Buck from my window until one day I opened it and started talking to him. He was small and gangly and he couldn’t caw right. His feathers were all over the place and I felt a kinship. So I made a deal with him. I told him that if he could do it, if he could fly, then I could find the strength to get up. Well… near the end of the season, after talking with him every day, I finally saw him get out of the nest. He went to the edge of his branch, braced himself, and jumped… and just before he hit the ground, he soared back up into the sky. I cheered harder than I ever had before.

That winter, Buck left the area. I was crestfallen. I felt like I’d lost a friend. But I was so damn proud of him. 

Cut to the next spring? I’m walking up the driveway one day when suddenly I hear a sound… a broken caw. I look up, and Buck is sitting in a tree above my head. He stared at me and puffed his feathers, then hopped down in front of me and cawed again. I was so damn thrilled, and I told him how proud I was of him. He ruffled his feathers and then soared off into his old tree. 

That summer? I heard two broken caws. One from Buck… and one from his chick.

Cut to ten years later? We have a family of crows who all have a very distinct caw and they come here and spend every spring, summer, and fall on our property. Buck still greets me every spring.

[ruggie-bucchis]

that last reply made me wanna cry. that’s so beautiful.

[avianawareness]

Don’t forget the Russian Crow SLEDDING DOWN A ROOF not once, but twice. 

[odpixel]

this one morning i kept hearing really loud caws, i remember it was like 5am, LIKE REALLY LOUD AND ANNOYING AND AGGRESSIVE, so loud that i could hear it through a closed window, and i eventually went outside to check it out. there was a crow on my front lawn, it had an injury on its head and couldn’t fly and there were two other crows circling right above it, and they were cawing like mad. 

i tried to get close and take a better look and one of them dived super low and tried to attack me. so i went back in the house and chopped some sliced raw meat and tossed it at him from a distance.

a few more times later, very soon after, they could tell i was trying to help, and did not attack me. i was “allowed” to walk up close and pick him up, he couldn’t drink water properly so i had to dip my finger in a bowl and stick it in his mouth.

i did this few times a day and it went on for about a week before he disappeared, i thought he recovered and left, but he came back the next day and lands on me, and i see him around the block quite often, and he would come sit on my shoulder for a few minutes and then fly away again. i feel like i’ve adopted a son.

[lilith-knight]

Best birbs !!

[221cbakerstreet]

your son is Beautiful and Strong

[solitarelee]

every time I see this post it has different crow stories and every time I reblog it again because all crow stories are good stories

[betheothergirl-deactivated20180]

Like, I wouldn’t want to be on bad terms with a crow, but they are a really smart animal, they aren’t scary You just want to be nice to them because they will know and they will remember, and they will pay you back if you treat them a certain way.

As a side note, I volunteered at a rehab (Hope for Wildlife), where they were rehabbing a crow with a broken wing–who was named Russell Crow. He kept pulling his bandage off so a sleeve was cut off some old clothing and put on him like a little sweater. 

[blackwoolncrown]

!!!!

[smol-witchy-bean]

crows

[willowofthehearth]

Then there’s Canuck, who made off with a weapon from a crime scene…

regularly rides the Skytrain to get around Vancouver…

and halted mail delivery to a neighborhood because he didn’t like the mailman. (don’t fek with crows during nesting season y’all) http://globalnews.ca/news/3561281/canada-post-canuck-the-crow-mailman/

[mossbian]

ok i’ve decided to become abstract. next time you see me, you’ll see a series of colors and have the vague sense you’ve just met somebody

[afieldinengland]

living in the countryside really strikes the fear of god into you at the most random moments. you’ll just make eye contact with a cow or stare for too long into a brook and all of a sudden you’ll think something like “these are old bones and i am merely a passing occupant” and then you have to go and put the kettle on to cope

[afieldinengland]

me:

the hare staring at me from across the field: which one of your lives is this?

me, legging it: okay tea time i think

[honeylemony]

Highland cattle calves are shorter than most, but still rock the show!

[rainbat]

my favourite trope is when both people understand that they like each other but it’s still unsaid between them and they’re not quite 100% sure the other likes them back so they keep having awkward-flirty moments/interactions and don’t know what to do after it happens so they just ,,, look at each other for a moment before changing the subject…and then it happens again

[shock]

only like my posts if you want to be part of my pirate crew

[shock]

rules

1. you must have a cool backstory (made up is fine but dont tell me)

2. one of you must be able to do math, you will be our quartermaster

3. must know a skill - doesnt matter what it is as long as you’re confident about it, it will help

4. you must not be afraid of ropes or telescopes (we need those)

5. must be willing to address me as Captain Nonsense

6. first mate position is open but you have to court me

7. must be willing to sing sea shanties at the drop of a hat

8. must be willing to kill British war criminals for prizes abound

[littlewhitefeet]

Now that’s a sunset

[hallanvalo]

“What’s up danger?”

[cherryseltzer]

i just got a super predatory debt collection letter. it was for a $113 debt from citizens bank, who i had an account with when i was 16 (20 years ago). the letter appeared to be an offer to cancel the debt if i paid them $22.75. HOWEVER, the actual wording is, “The amount of the debt is $113.77 and we will accept $22.75.” so, no MENTION of canceling the debt, but the implication is there because many collectors of current debt offer to settle for a percentage. at the bottom of the letter, it says: “Because of the age of your debt, we cannot sue you for it and we cannot report to any credit reporting agency. In many circumstances, you can renew the debt and start the time period for the filing of a lawsuit against you if you take specific actions such as making payments on the debt or making a written promise to pay.” basically… i don’t owe this money anymore, the debt is so old they can’t legally sue me for it OR put it on my credit report, BUT if i take their generous offer of paying them $22.75… they can sue me for the full amount because making a payment makes the debt current. no thanks, jefferson capital systems llc.

[feetlips]

always, always read the entire letter! it is so important because of semantic awfulness like this! 

[peregrinelight]

y’all: my love language is ‘words of affirmation’!

me, an intellectual: praise kink

[tanoraqui]

y’all talk a big game about loving the Found Family trope, but have you ever personally burst into tears while watching 2000 Disney classic The Tigger Movie, in which Tigger realizes the existential horror and bone-aching loneliness of being “the only one” and starts desperately trying to contact other tiggers, building up his hopes only to have them crumble like like cheap honeycomb, but then he realizes that he already HAS a family right here with his friends in Hundred Acre Woods? huh? get on my level.

[tanoraqui]

I’d like to apologize for the aggressive tone of this post; it turns out that over 21,000 of you are already on this level and I honestly did not anticipate that

[oolongteamix]

Napping

[screentunesarchive]

roxy talksprite edit for @ironbubble !!

feel free to use!

[get-thee-to-a-shrubbery]

@calliowope ur wife

[fuck-philip-banks]

mood

[pincushionfingers]

Psycho-Pass Dominator Tutorial

So here is the complete brutally honest explanation of the making of my prop from Psycho-Pass! Please be warned this process was not child friendly in the least. But bonus points: it flashes and only cost about $17 in non-reusable materials.

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