Fuck ya'll all ya'll

❤☮☭folloш foя мoяе soft сoммцпisм☭☮❤ INTP He/Him *19*

[millennial-review-deactivated20]

[lunafroggy]

A Story In Headlines

[couriers-mile]

[beyondthesleep]

[andhumanslovedstories]

Do you ever eat popcorn out of the palm of your own hand with such ardent desperation that you feel like both a wild horse and the gentle schoolgirl feeding it treats to gain its affection 

[beauty-in-healing-deactivated20]

this is the funniest thing i have ever read

[whitepeopletwitter]

[uhh-im-not-me]

it gets better

[botanyshitposts]

So I found this coconut on the beach in Costa Rica and when I opened it THIS was inside. I think it’s the endosperm (or whatever you call the thing that develops into the tree). The coconut water itself wasn’t as sweet as usual (probably because it had sprouted), but the little sprout boi tasted sweet on one end and salty on the other. (submitted by @jewishpangolin)

—————-

dude i have no idea how to tell you this but i have no idea what this is. i showed this to my plant anatomy professor and one of the mods at @thebashfulbotanist after class and none of us could figure out what this is. it doesn’t look like a fungus, the embryos in coconuts are tiny and don’t look like this, and the first thing a coconut sprouts is a root, not the stem, and it grows outward. there should be nothing normal like this growing in there. my plant anatomy teacher has never seen anything like this and has offered to forward this image to a palm researcher she knows to see if he has. i repeat, we have no idea what you ate but it was not a normal sprout boi. please stand by

[sumikatt]

submitter: heehee look at little coconut!!! 😩

op, their classmates, and their botany professor:

[math-memes]

[shitty-car-mods-daily]

Yep

[noblewing-deactivated20200601]

People feel threatened by this.

Keep that in mind.

[sexhaver]

literally every single time without fail

[noblewing-deactivated20200601]

Get a load of you, making fun of someone’s profile pic in 2019. You must be so proud. I bet you get all the ladies.

Fuck off.

[sexhaver]

i am and i do, ponyfucker

[wellntruly]

Buttery Salmon Chowder

I attempted to recreate the delicious salmon chowder I had at a little cafe near my work, and I got pretty dang close! It is definitely good enough to share so I’m gonna.

Note on picking your salmon: It’s gonna get chopped up and doused with cream, so there’s no need to shell out (hah, seafood jokes) for the king or sockeye. You’re just making chowder here — this is budget fish’s time to shine. Straight up, I made mine with keta salmon, aka the most basic bitch of the salmon varietals. I was choosing between that and a reasonably priced coho, but the coho was inexplicably farmed in Denmark of all the far-flung places, while my cheap chum salmon was wild-caught off the Washington coast by a small family fishing business literally called Loki Fish Co., which was additionally too funny to pass up.

Buttery Salmon Chowder

Ingredients 4 tablespoons butter 1 onion ¾ lb red and/or yellow potatoes 2 medium carrots 2 tablespoons flour 1/3 cup sherry (or white wine, vermouth, etc) 3-4 cups fish and/or chicken stock 1 lb salmon ½ cup cream salt and pepper

Optional but earnestly recommended: fresh bakery sourdough to serve alongside

Keep reading

[vladtheunfollower]

being vegetarian/vegan almost killed me but people are like you were #justdoingitwrong #isolatedincidents. helpful!  anyway Im having some steak and broccoli tonight

[math-memes]

[thebackrooms-moved-deactivated2]

goombas and koopas after attacking mario and he shrinks

[pastelparrotlet]

Plague doctor mask but it’s a worm on a string face.

[cowboybanjo]

[dowovique]

I AM FUCKING DECEASED BDJSBDJSJD 😂😂😂

[sovietcunt]

🤢

[mens-rights-activia]

I’m unwell

[that-twink-over-there]

Don’t murder me like this 😭😭😭

[paxamericana]

[socialistexan]

[unclefather]

Looking for a sugar daddy. If you are a sugar daddy message me. I’d like to play a video game and eat a snack. Send me a message if this sounds right to you.

[daddymyer-blog]

I need a baby that can run errands for me without complain

Be loyal ,obedient andtrustworthy .

[unclefather]

I will get your anti diarrheal medicine from cvs with no questions asked

[derezzcartes]