Klaus Hargreeves Deserves Better

Previously lucifer deserves better Hi I’m Morgan I love: Marvel, The Flash, Percy Jackson, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Lucifer, The Umbrella Academy, and anything else I find funny on this God forsaken website. Send me some messages!

[angelbumbum]

i am once again experiencing urges and desires

[angelbumbum]

y’all thinking this is a horny post but it’s about violence actually

[siorca]

this is so fucking funny I love sharks

[molabuddy]

recently when im tempted to say 'i'm gonna kill myself' i try to correct it into saying "im gonna walk into the river and become a trout" or some other form of that. this is my new thing

[molabuddy]

btw this has graduated into me just saying "the trout population will be affected" and then not elaborating

[confusedlamp]

If you say something like "argh! I am so stressed about [x]- the trout population will be affected", it sounds like you are some sort of fish diety whose well-being affects the fish.

[noahnomore]

[theworsethingsgettheharderifight]

made it more accurate 👍

[infinitywithoutparallel]

you could have just put the pixels on there, you didnt need to add something under it

[theworsethingsgettheharderifight]

I also could've just added it without the pixels, so maybe don't be an ungrateful bitch about it

[100493503004422]

when did we as a society start allowing a sandwich to cost sixteen dollars? eighteen? I know I've paid twenty-one dollars for a sandwich at this point. is this just the world now? sandwich prices don't come down like gas prices. they go up & up & up. good luck to us all

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Gas prices go down?

[surprisebitch]

absolutely stellar

[hyperazraphael]

A girl at my school tried to seduce one of our (super straight-laced) math professors. She ACTUALLY sat on his desk and had a super low-cut shirt on and everything and actually leaned over to him and according to eye-witnesses:

Girl: “Oh professor, I’m really struggling but I would do ANYTHING to pass this class.”

The professor leans in until his face is just inches from hers and whispers in the same seductive tone:

“Study”

Before promptly getting up and walking away just leaving her on the desk.

[xubbs]

“Then study”

[duckdotcom]

imagine if doorways grew back like scabbed over with fresh drywall and you had to keep carving them back out with a jabsaw to keep the doorway clear etc

[cryptotheism]

Imagine if the membranes recoiled in pain every time you did this. Imagine if over time, some doorways became accustomed sensation. Imagine that very rarely, some even seemed to enjoy it.

[moonbeamdagger]

*sleepover host voice* imagine if you two went to sleep

[elodieunderglass]

Oh for gods sake kids it’s like piercing an ear - that’s why you put a doorframe in - you don’t hang a door in drywall, you gremlins. You frame the door. It’s like those gauges that people put in their ears - the hole stays. It won’t scab over with a doorframe in it. You’ve lived around doors you whole life, you little clowns. Lights out

[macleod]

[elodieunderglass]

Oh my goodness what an honor to be Calvin’s dad

[mothmanchronicler]

[januaryysummers]

[myleftpinkytoe]

UM WE FORGOT THE OTHER TWO

[atomicrow]

tumblr when a new pathetic man drops

[kosmogrl]

[kragehund-est]

[kragehund-est]

everytime someone rbs this i get a notification as though it were my post, even the rbs that don’t have my addition. go away onion post i am not your mother

[recoiloperated]

Abandoned by its biological mother, the onion post instead imprints on a random passerby that fed it.

[greelin]

6’2 and standing at the front of the crowd is crazy. you already have an advantage just by being alive brother. blocking out all the sunlight. life on the forest floor, withering away

[greelin]

yeah you’re making me 6’2 my fucking stomach

[basedhighsenberg]

[catchymemes]

[meticulousfragments]

I’m glad Sam Reich decided to use his powers to create game shows because in another universe I’m sure he’s a supervillain

[mira-blue-deactivated20240815]

me voting for vanilla extract on every single poll no matter what:

[what-is-love-babey-dont-hurt-me]

I love it when people unify for the silliest of things

[allthatdivides]

I've seen a handful of posts now like "WHERE DID VANILLA EXTRACT COME FROM" "i dont understand the vanilla extract meme" "how did you guys make a new meme in a couple hours" like how are you guys not acclimated to this environment yet. you come on, you see a post with vanilla extract and go huh. you scroll a bit and see another. huh? everyone is voting for vanilla extract. it seems to be the new meme. why? it literally does not matter. this is the committing to the bit website now jump on this fucking bandwagon and press the vanilla extract button.

[saydams]

as an autistic person this is just how life always is.

[cleverclove]

You see, Perry the Platypus, when Vanessa was a little girl, she wanted to take estrogen. Of course, I said yes. And since then she’s always been my little girl. Well recently, Vanessa’s school deadnamed her on her reports! Can you believe that!? I mean we live in a fairly progressive area and—hey, isn’t that not allowed in public schools??

Anyway, that’s when I got the idea for THIS! The deadname-eraser-inator! That way, not only will Vanessa no longer be deadnamed, but EVERY OTHER TRANS PERSON IN THE TRI! STATE! AREA!

[fckmypssywtharakemom]

[rubixpsyche]

Perry spends this episode fixing the wall he put a hole through on the way in