Forever Blowing Bubbles

Simon | he/him | icon by bobtheblobbiest

[red-garden]

MAGA boomers SHOCKED by 20y/o commie speaking fluent hog

[red-garden]

Hog 201 for anyone interested in trying this:

Bodily autonomy (like abortion, anti draft, etc) -> “The government shouldn’t be able to force anything on my body I don’t want.”

Anti surveillance -> “I don’t trust big government/big tech (big brother if you’re feeling frisky) with the ability to spy on me and my family.”

Immigration -> “Next to all of us immigrated at some point, I don’t see why the elites get to decide who’s allowed to be where. What’s to stop them coming for me?”

Climate Change -> “Big oil shouldn’t get to determine whether or not I get to go places. I don’t want to be dependent on some big business to survive.”

State Violence -> “I don’t want the goddamn secret police breathing down my neck! I trust my community a whole hell of a lot more to help me than I do the state!”

The vast majority of conservatives think of themselves as underdogs being repressed by the government/the elite, and they value personal freedom (specifically their personal freedom, they don’t care about other people). The will almost always agree with leftist points if you can find a way to blame the problem on their vague enemies (useful, since rich people are the root of most problems), and tie it back to their ability to say fuck everyone else. NEVER appeal to science, theory, logic, or human goodness. Make it seem as if you are a paranoid lunatic who trusts no one. They love it.

[dinosaurjam]

#you need to tailor your arguments to people's existing values and priorities if you want to convince them #the flip side is that it's every bit as easy to tailor conservative arguments to convince a leftist audience #so don't get smug #you're not immune to this either <- prev extremely true

[mockva]

[sufficientlylargen]

"Benedict Cumberbatch!" Cry out the tumblfolk, "Silliest dactylic Name you could hear!"

Critical oversight - Lost to obscurity, Engelbert Humperdinck Sheds one small tear.

[fellator]

this fetish stuff is getting out of hand what the fuck is word play

[defectivegembrain]

I went to Escher Sentence Island and more people were there than I was

[threetrenchcoatsinatrenchcoat]

i went to garden path sentence island and some flowers

[fellator]

this fetish stuff is getting out of hand what the fuck is word play

[kris-allen1359-deactivated-deac]

Bumping this in honor of Halloween.

When I was in high school, I worked as a librarian in my hometown for two years.

One of my duties was to occasionally clean out the public computers, because sometimes people accidentally saved personal files on them. One day, I found a file called THE_WOLF.pdf.

It was a story, and it was 31 pages long.

The title was Wolves Tracks of Two, and the author was “David Wolf.”

It tells the story of David Wolf, a fellow who keeps running into trouble with the cops and is also a werewolf. It’s a good thing his last name was Wolf already.

Here are some excerpts:

“I was only reaching for my cell phones,” David stated, “Why am I being arrested for?” “I’m sorry, dude, but you are being arrested for assaulting a police officer,” Officer Shawn responded.

The three officers surrounded David as seven more entered the room. “Why is everybody coming into this room unnecessary?” David asked. “We like to hear your stories,” Officer Orin stated. “Yeah, we thought the more, the merrier,” Officer Rita, informed. “Yeah, there is no such thing as too many witnesses,” Detective Colon interrupted.

The most important thing David did not realize was that he was in a killer bee hive. They had mistaken him for one of their kind, but the truth was revealed and the twenty—eight thousand army bees attacked. David darted out the hive with a black cloud of bees behind him. “What the hell,” he screamed, “Is worse enough to have cops after me and now fucking bees?” David thought fast. Up ahead he saw the Delaware River. “I must get there in one piece.”

I dont want to give away the best stuff because I want to give you the whole PDF, as it was when I discovered it: THE_WOLF.pdf

Every once in a while some friends and I will have a WOLF NIGHT; we throw the story up on the projector and do a dramatic reading of it.

During a WOLF NIGHT reading:

No matter who’s turn it is to read, when you reach the word “wolf,” everyone whispers it simultaneously. (Trumps the ALL CAPS rule.)

No matter who’s reading, if something’s in ALL CAPS, everyone yells it simultaneously.

It’s best to play an epic, moody, sweeping movie soundtrack in the background. I recommend The Dark Crystal OST by Trevor Jones.

Whenever a number comes up, the person reading can choose to replace it with any other number, since the author seems to have chosen them arbitrarily and without even a remote concern for consistency.

Also, take note of the author’s spectacular aversion to the word “said.”

The picture attached to this post was drawn by homie Emmy Cicierega, based on the opening line of the story:

“In the deep state of mind, David jaws moved forward, his whole body becomes hairy his ears erupt upward as he becomes a wolf.”

Happy WOLFing.

[pankendev]

we're inventing the world's first andgasm. you don't have to choose

[jesterbots]

genuinely one of the saddest parts of this new era of the internet is how hard it is to rick roll someone now. with people's attention spans shortening so much, they wouldn't even get through the first few bait seconds before clicking off the video. like i saw a comment that ended with "btw i made all of this up" and the replies kept treating it so seriously because none of them finished the entire 4 sentence comment. and We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I (do I) A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[findmeabowlofmakebelieve]

@modmad

[modmad]

YES

[30trillioncellsinatrenchcoat]

There once was a straw goat from Sweden

By fire, it’s typically beaten

But winds, they blew through

And toppled it, too

Thus endeth the holiday season

[krisonthefrontporchwithabeer]

Please, call me Frankenstein. Frankenstein was my father, but stealing his name and overriding his presence in the dominant cultural consciousness has been really, really satisfying

[ebookporn]

[emmettkane]

[herpsandbirds]

Common Egg-eating Snake (Dasypeltis scabra), EAT A TASTY EGG!!!, family Colubridae, found in most of Sub-Saharan Africa and parts of the Middle East

[deadpanwalking]

what are your feelings on gregor samsa?

Now what exactly is the “vermin” into which poor Gregor, the seedy commercial traveler, is so suddenly transformed? It obviously belongs to the branch of “jointed leggers” (Arthropoda), to which insects, and spiders, and centipedes, and crustaceans belong. If the “numerous little legs” mentioned in the beginning mean more than six legs, then Gregor would not be an insect from a zoological point of view. But I suggest that a man awakening on his back and finding he has as many as six legs vibrating in the air might feel that six was sufficient to be called numerous. We shall therefore assume that Gregor has six legs, that he is an insect.

Next question: what insect?

Commentators say cockroach, which of course does not make sense. A cockroach is an insect that is flat in shape with large legs, and Gregor is anything but flat: he is convex on both sides, belly and back, and his legs are small. He approaches a cockroach in only one respect: his coloration is brown. That is all. Apart from this he has a tremendous convex belly divided into segments and a hard rounded back suggestive of wing cases. In beetles these cases conceal flimsy little wings that can be expanded and then may carry the beetle for miles and miles in a blundering flight … He is merely a big beetle. Curiously enough, Gregor the beetle never found out that he had wings under the hard covering of his back.  (This is a very nice observation on my part to be treasured all your lives. Some Gregors, some Joes and Janes, do not know that they have wings.)

- Vladimir Nabokov, Lectures on Literature

[lichen-soup-scribe]

a fun fact for those who don’t already know it: Nabokov, the author of Lolita, was also an entomologist (specifically a lepidopterist) and spent so long staring at butterfly genitals under a microscope that it wrecked his vision

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[brawltogethernow]

[dreadwedge]

whiplash game

Reblog with a sentence that is very unlike the previous one. So unlike it in such a way that if you were to imagine each were a person, the two of them would have met. Not enemies, not foils, not lovers. Not in dialogue at all. They could look each other in the eyes and recognize nothing.

I will begin.

1. It’s not that I’m scared of the man on the Pringles can; he just makes me feel uneasy.

[monsterpotion]

When demonstrating the telescope, it is important to discourage visitors from moving it.

[immaculate-contraception]

In Gen 5 NU, Maractus is almost completely outclassed by Roselia and Cacturne, though it still has a niche as a Spikes-setter in PU.

[wedidthetimewarpagain]

Much like love and effort, time rarely follows a straight line without driving directly into the human heart.

[knights-tumblar]

I really have to poop.